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Old 05-05-2003, 03:02 PM   #1
Chief Rum
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Presenting A New Service To FOFCers...

Having read the Worst Films and Best Films threads, I have come to the conclusion that some of you can't tell a bad movie when you see one...

Therefore, I am offering a free service. I have found that I can usually tell well before a movie comes out whether or not it's going to be a real stinker--even blockbuster types. I have been surprisingly accurate in this (from what I have been able to tell).

Sometimes it will depend on your personal leanings and sensibilities for a movie, so if I'm not certain I might ask you some questions before giving you an answer. But if anyone wants to use this service, just post in this thread, and I'll respond.

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Old 05-05-2003, 03:07 PM   #2
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The In-Laws (remake)?
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:11 PM   #3
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You choose the In-Laws?

I want to know about the biggest sequels since Phantom menace: The two Matrix movies.
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:18 PM   #4
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Ah, the Matrix thing'll be easy, it'll just depend on how much you liked the first one.

Now, the In-Laws, that's a REAL test.
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:22 PM   #5
Chief Rum
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Quote:
Originally posted by Butter_of_69
The In-Laws (remake)?


Hate to say it, Butter, but this looks like a complete loser.

It will have its moments. I can see Douglas handling this role well, and Brooks can be a very good straight man. But the premise is just overpoweringly silly (even if originally come up with in another film). And remember when Douglas was a big time leading man? It doesn't seem all that long ago, does it? He has really fallen off a bit, and Brooks hasn't been in a major film since, what, Look Who's Talking? Well, okay, that's stretching things quite a bit, since he does a lot more producing now, but still, you get the drift.

I haven't seen the original, so that might either color my view of this, or it might mean I am perfectly and subjectively able to judge it. If you really liked the original, maybe you can give it a shot, but my guess is that there will be precious little beyond the basic premise that is related between the two movies.

I leave you with one image to remind you of what you're in for. The trailer features Douglas rescuing Brooks from off of a buliding in some glider or minicopter thing (didn't look too closely, but it's a mini flying thing), and Brooks legs are wrapped around Douglas midsection, with the usual cracks about not tightening up down there and things like that. Ugh...

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Old 05-05-2003, 03:25 PM   #6
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Good start, CR!
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:26 PM   #7
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Bitches Behind Bars Vol. 7?
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:28 PM   #8
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Originally posted by CamEdwards
Bitches Behind Bars Vol. 7?


Oscar all over it.
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:29 PM   #9
korme
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Umm, Bruce Almighty?
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:30 PM   #10
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Originally posted by Shorty3281
Umm, Bruce Almighty?


Yes?
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:34 PM   #11
Chief Rum
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Quote:
Originally posted by Barkeep49
You choose the In-Laws?

I want to know about the biggest sequels since Phantom menace: The two Matrix movies.


Butter is right to an extent, Barkeep. If you like the first one (and plenty of people do), you'll love the second one. Apparently it is like the Matrix amped. You know all the action and the explosions and incredible special effects times two. The trailers alone show you what you're in for. Witness Neo taking down 100 Agent Smiths. Or Neo crushing a car on a freeway (yes, a man crushing a car). Or Neo flying through the air in some huge hall with stairways.

I am concerned about the story. The first one had just enough story to keep things going. It had an interesting premise that was able to carry the film. But I never got the impression the Wychowski brothers thought they would be making a sequal to the first one. Yeah, they left enough for the bare fledglings of a further story, but my intuition says that they intentionally set up Matrix to be a stand alone film.

So when it turned out to be a hit and they were contracted to make two more films, they had to come up with more story that they probably didn't consider much before then. It will be interesting to see how complicated they make things here. It is entirely possible to make a story so ridiculous that the nonstop action tends to lose its meaning. Witness True Lies for instance, which is a fun action film (and Matrix Reloaded is guaranteed to be fun), but the story got so bizarre near the end that it got in the way of enjoying the action. I mean, all of a sudden, the kid is in the terrorist's hands atop a Miami skyscraper? Huh?

Matrix Reloaded has the same possibility of overshooting, so I worry about it on that level. But I have a feeling they'll pull it off right here, and if any story in the Matrrix series will get weird and stupid, it will be in Revolutions, not Reloaded.

My bet? Matrix Reloaded will be the hit of the summer, and fans of the original will love this one. The jury is still much more out on Revolutions--whose appeal and story will be almost entirely dependent on the quality of Reloaded.

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Old 05-05-2003, 03:40 PM   #12
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Ok, what about Seabiscuit?
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:40 PM   #13
Chief Rum
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Quote:
Originally posted by CamEdwards
Bitches Behind Bars Vol. 7?


Sorry, Cam, but I just can't see this going anywhere. For one thing, it's an X-rated movie, and the first six didn't get much mention. They keep changing the "heroines" except for Luscious Leggs, and she's over and done with already (really--in the other BBB's she's done over and done with many, many times).

I don't figure you'll see much box office for this one. Also, it's entirely unrealistic. I mean, come on, if this happened all the time, we would all be trying to become prison guards, wouldn't we?

And how many prison guards and nasty hos do you see looking like that? I mean that first guard had to have two jockstraps to get support for that monster. And how is it that all the hot chicks ended up in the same cell like that? And how many positions can be done through a set of bars?

Naw, this one is only for lonely men.

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Old 05-05-2003, 03:42 PM   #14
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LOL!

With that, it's time to go home...



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Old 05-05-2003, 03:47 PM   #15
Chief Rum
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Quote:
Originally posted by Shorty3281
Umm, Bruce Almighty?


Are you a Jim Carrey fan, Shorty? If you are you'll probably really like it. If you're not really a Carrey fan, you'll think it has some funny moments, but Carrey gets too goofy as usual, and the story has no oomph, and you know it's going to be a good ending before you walk in.

I mean, come on, you already know how this story goes, right?

Here's a list of what's going to happen in this movie:

1) Carrey's character will be introduced to us as a guy who thinks life sucks, and tells God he sucks, too (we know as much from the trailer).
2) Freeman's God brings up carrey and basically says, "You think it's so easy, why don't you try it?" and gives Carrey his powers for a little while.
3) Carrey goes back down and makes his own life better (in comedic fashion, of course), but at the expense of others.
4) Freeman points out to Carrey all the misery he is causing by not using his Godly powers, but Carrey scoffs.
5) Carrey abuses his powers some more, and finally starts to see the consequences of his actions.
6) Carrey finally realizes how difficult it is to be God, and returns his powers to Freeman.
7) The benefits he had withg the powers are all gone, but Carrey has a new appreciation for life. Everyone is happy. Close the curtains.

There you go. Now, you have seen the movie.

Chief Rum
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:57 PM   #16
korme
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That's just short of amazing.
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Old 05-05-2003, 03:58 PM   #17
Chief Rum
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Originally posted by Cards4ever
Ok, what about Seabiscuit?


Seabiscuit is a little tougher for me to call, Cards, because it is based on a book I haven't read, but that I understand is well-liked (especially by some members of this forum).

I'm getting a good vibe for this one, although my gut says that if it ends up being more about the horse than the people around the horse, it will lose the audience's interest.

I have a lot of respect for Tobey Maguire, Jeff Bridges and Chris Cooper. All three are fine actors, and Cooper in particular has been doing a damn fine job of selecting scripts of late. Also, the director, Gary Ross, did Pleasantville, which ends up coming out a little over the top with its moral message, but for the most part is a picturesque and intriguing story that is well-directed.

My guess is that Ross can do a good job with an epic with good music and a feel-good story. My bet is also that it will be a little too sappy at times, and that there will be stretches of the story that seem a little dull.

And once again, it can't be about the horse! Well, actually, it can be, if Ross does a good job of humanizing the horse for us. But that's always hard to do. There are only so many Benjis nowadays.

My best guess is that this will be a good one, but not great. It will be a nice story, and people who read the book will flock to it. The acting and direction will get good reviews, but the story will seem a bit dull and sappy at points, so harder-edged audiences might want to stay away. Depending on where you land in that scale, I would say go see it.

Chief Rum
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Old 05-05-2003, 04:02 PM   #18
MrBug708
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Chief, are there any movies that are better then their books? Michael Crighton and Tom Clancy are excellent Novelists but their movies seem to lack. Hunt for the Red October might be an exception. Behind Enemy lines was more flash then substance
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Old 05-05-2003, 04:08 PM   #19
Cards4ever
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One more for my daughter, Finding Nemo or Rugrats?
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Old 05-05-2003, 04:26 PM   #20
Chief Rum
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Originally posted by MrBug708
Chief, are there any movies that are better then their books? Michael Crighton and Tom Clancy are excellent Novelists but their movies seem to lack. Hunt for the Red October might be an exception. Behind Enemy lines was more flash then substance

I find that it goes from book to book, MrBug. It's never as easy as pinpointing it. Most people will swear the books are always better, and I have a hard time arguing with them on that.

When you think about it, it makes sense. Books go much more in-depth, so you get a much more fleshed-out story. Books give you the inner perspective--you generally always know what at least one character is thinking (the narrator, usually a character in the book, and usually the main character), and you also pick up on little inferences and trains of thought that just can't be put on the screen without actually vocalizing them. Then you consider that the books almost always precede the movies (Arthur C. Clarke's novel adaption of 2001: Space Oddyssey, and the Star Wars books being notable exceptions)--and people tend to prefer the medium in which they first encounter a story.

So, the answer may very well be that there are no movies that are as good as the books. I can give you some general guidelines--it seems like a good horror movie hasn't been made out of a King novel in years, but he writes good character-based and thoughtful stories that translate well (Shawshank, The Green Mile, Stand By Me, that one movie with Hopkins, Atlantis or whatever, etc.). Crichton is becoming known as Shiteton. He seems to do good TV. Jurassic Park is excellent, but it's all downhill otherwise. He has a new one, Timeline, coming in November (a movie based on his books, I mean), and it's about time travel and the Middle Ages, so I am hopeful. James Patterson mysteries (the Alex Cross stories) have yielded a couple solid murder-mystery films with an edge in Kiss The Girls and Along Came A Spider. Watch for more of his. I'm not holding my breath for Tom Clancy books anymore. They picked a fight with me when they didn't try hard enough to keep Ford interested in Sum Of All Fears.

Fantasy seems to be doing well. Both LOTR and Harry Potter have crossed over solidly. The problem with this is that these our hard and costly films to make, so we just won't see many such fantasies transfer over to the silver screen.

If you're concerned about a book becoming a movie, I would do the same thing as we should do with video games--wait until the first patch at least (read critics' reviews, the general buzz about the film, and friends' testimonials--especially fellow book lovers)--before you go see it.

Chief Rum
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Old 05-05-2003, 04:28 PM   #21
Chief Rum
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cards4ever
One more for my daughter, Finding Nemo or Rugrats?


I'll get to this later on, Cards. I have to work tonight, of course. It's as if my work scheduler knew exactly whent he Ducks would be playing and intentionally scheduled me on those days.

And we're talking about a schedule completed three weeks ago, almost before the playoffs even started.

Chief Rum
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Old 05-05-2003, 04:31 PM   #22
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Can't watch the game tonight? Now that sucks.
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Old 05-05-2003, 04:34 PM   #23
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The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?
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Old 05-05-2003, 04:35 PM   #24
3ric
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Quote:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Shorty3281
Umm, Bruce Almighty?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Originally posted by Bee
Yes?


LOL!
Sadly, I think the humor of this was a little too subtle for many to "get"...
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Old 05-05-2003, 04:40 PM   #25
MrBug708
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Or we did think so and waited til someone had to point it out

hehe
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Old 05-06-2003, 02:14 PM   #26
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Well, since Bruce Almighty is mentioned in this thread, if you'd really like a true opinion from someone about that movie before it comes out, I work for Vivendi Universal and see all their big releases a week or two before they're available to the public. I think there's a great chance that Bruce Almighty will be a decent flick. I'd compare it to Liar Liar, Good Morning Vietnam or Mrs. Doubtfire, a film that lets a comedian show his talents while still being a decent film at heart with a good message.
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Old 05-06-2003, 02:17 PM   #27
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The Incredible Hulk? Is it going to be a stupid action movie with awesome special effects or a smart action movie with awesome special effects? I loved the Hulk when I was a kid and Ang Lee directing it is a sign of quality.
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Old 05-06-2003, 02:25 PM   #28
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Yeah Ronnie, I can't wait to watch The Hulk. I agree with you, this could be an absolute disaster or a terrific film. I loved The Hulk when I was a kid also. Nick Nolte was apparently quoted as saying that Ang Lee's dedication to making The Hulk as a Greek tragedy convinced him to do a superhero flick. I think Ang Lee will take this as serious as Richard Donner did Superman which will be a huge treat if it works out.
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Old 05-06-2003, 03:59 PM   #29
Chief Rum
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cards4ever
One more for my daughter, Finding Nemo or Rugrats?


Hmm...I think that's one your daughter will have to make, Cards.

As a potential adult viewer, I think it's clear that Finding Nemo is going to appeal more to "older kids" like us. It's made by the same guys that did the Toy Stories and Monsters Inc, and Piuxar has a proven track record for this stuff. Great animation and a fun story are a lock (and I'll keep saying that until they fail to do so).

The question on this one is will it be Toy Story good or A Bug's Life good? Don't get me wrong--A Bug's Life was a fun little movie, too--but the latter just didn't have the appeal or do the business that the franchise-carrying Toy Stories have done.

One thing I have noticed is that Finding Nemo has just Cheers' Cliff Claven (John Ratzenberger) among recognizable names for the animated voices, which is more similar to A Bug's Life (which also had very few star voices). Toy Story has Hanks and Allen, and Monsters Inc. Goodman and Crystal, so if having recognizable stars as animated voices is a big thing for you, this might be a let down.

I do admit to being curious as to how on Earth a fish can save a kiddie fish from a fish bowl completely out of the water, and I'll probably try and catch this one at some point myself (and I don't have any kids).

As for Rugrats, I never saw the first movie (or was it movies?), and I don't generally catch it on TV, so I may be completely unable to offer a good opinion on this. I think it would be a good idea to let your daughter decide, if she's up to it. If she isn't (kids tend to clam up when the pressure is on ), but you know she loves the Rugrats, I would go with them. Unlike Nemo, Rugrats will almost certainly be more suited for young, young kids. Nemo is much more of a pre-teen to adult animated flick, with the goodies for the true youngins balanced out a little by more action (there's a big shark fer cryin' out loud!) that might scare them.

Chief Rum
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Old 05-06-2003, 04:09 PM   #30
Chief Rum
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Originally posted by Swaggs
The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen?


Swaggs, the first time I saw the trailer for this, about a month and a half ago, I literally busted out laughing. It looked horrible. I'm afraid that usually my gut feelings on this is true.

That said, the more recently released trailer gives a little bit of a better look at it. Also, it appears that this is also based on some comic book thing, right? What is it this year? Everything is either based on a book, a remake of an old film, based out of a superhero comic strip book, or is from an old TV show. Having never been a big comic book fan at all, I am once again unfamiliar with the premise behind this, so that may either mean I can't offer up a qualified opinion or that I am eminently qualified to give an objective opinion.

I still think this will end up being a gawdy, special effects piece of Hollywood claptrap. Connery will give his usual good show, but you'll probably leave the theater wondering how he got dragged into this (I am wondering even as we speak). It's my bet that there will be next to no story development here, and with few other big names in the other starring roles and playing apparently dark and hard-to-identify-with characters, we won't be able to care as much for the superheros in this one (besides Connery).

Now, in my mind, there is an outside possibility that this one can grab some of the Crowish feel from its darker characters and a Mummyish feel from its setting and adventure style, but in the end this will probably have fans of the comics wanting something better, and casual moviegoers confused for the most part.

Chief Rum
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Old 05-06-2003, 04:12 PM   #31
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So was I the only one that watched the trailer for The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and instantly had flashbacks of The Avengers?
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Old 05-06-2003, 04:22 PM   #32
Chief Rum
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Originally posted by RonnieDobbs
The Incredible Hulk? Is it going to be a stupid action movie with awesome special effects or a smart action movie with awesome special effects? I loved the Hulk when I was a kid and Ang Lee directing it is a sign of quality.


Ronnie, I am pretty torn on the Hulk.

On one end, when I first heard there was going to be a remake of the Hulk, I laughed and thought what a crummy idea, who's gonna want to watch that.

But then I saw who was attached to the film. I have a lot of respect for Ang Lee, and I think Eric Bana is a hidden talent (some of you might remember him as being the vet ranger in Black Hawk Down). I always loved Jennifer Connelly in both purely aesthetic, acting, and, um, other ways.

But then I saw the horrible CGI of the Hulk at the Super Bowl, and that groan-inducing scene where the Hulk spins and throws a tank. Ugh. It just looked so fake.

Then I saw a recent trailer that looks a lot better and gives alot more depth to the story (although I'm still not impressed by the look of the Hulk).

So, this one could be a hit or a miss. My guess? The story will be very well-crafted. Lee is said to have modelled the story of the Hulk after a Greek tragedy type of story (which doesn't give me much hope for the Hulk, if you know your ancient Greek literature), and Lee has shown a fine ability to fill out a story. The man knows how to construct a plot, even amongst action films and is very good with themes and underlying tensions and what not. Toss on Bana and Connelly, among others, to pull off a fine acting job, and you should have an intriguing story.

I think the action itself will be fun stuff, but I'm not sure it will be impressive. Lee is great with Beautiful (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon; Sense and Sensibility, etc.), but how will he do with Bold? As thrilling as the martial arts work was in CTHD, those weren't striking and loud action scenes, but beautiful choreography. And do you get the impression the Hulk is going to be daintily flying from rooftop to rooftop and moving gracefully with a sword? No, neither do I.

So, story should be a big plus. The acting will be good. The action will be so-so. The graphics will probably be pretty bad. I guess how much you like this will depend on where in this scale you fall.

Chief Rum
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Old 05-06-2003, 04:23 PM   #33
Chief Rum
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Quote:
Originally posted by AgPete
So was I the only one that watched the trailer for The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and instantly had flashbacks of The Avengers?


That ain't a good thing, AgPete.

When I think the Avengers, I think of the tripe they threw out as a remake a few years ago. I did catch a little bit of that vibe, but there is much more of a Mummy feel, IMO, to the most recent trailer.

Chief Rum
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Old 08-25-2007, 12:23 AM   #34
Chief Rum
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Was doing an old thread search and found this one from four years ago. You know, as arrogant as I feel I come off in this thread, I think most of my picks here were right on the mark. Matrix Reloaded and The Hulk were probably the most "off", but I hinted at what could screw up both movies (Matrix, too complicated; The Hulk, too CGI and story-driven).
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