Just Had The Shock of A Lifetime.

duckman · 08-14-2009, 09:00 PM

My 2nd oldest brother came out of the closet today.

Flasch186 · 08-14-2009, 09:04 PM

JPhillips · 08-14-2009, 09:08 PM

Good for him. There's nothing more paralyzing than denying such an essential part of one's self.

MJ4H · 08-14-2009, 09:09 PM

don't tell that christopher reeves

Spoiler

duckman · 08-14-2009, 09:16 PM

I'm happy for him, but I'm still trying to get over the shock of it. A very surreal moment for me and my family.

Lorena · 08-14-2009, 09:20 PM

Good for him!

Flasch186 · 08-14-2009, 09:20 PM

If you dont mind the question, where was the conversation? Over dinner?

seriously, just wondering if there is more of a story there.

duckman · 08-14-2009, 09:58 PM

My brother and I had been roommates since I went to school. He was going to move out in November because I wanted to get out on my own. This was before I knew anything about his orientation, so I don't want anyone to think I'm throwing him out.

I was actually walking to the bathroom when he called me over to his room to tell me. At first, I thought he was messing with me, but he told me he wasn't kidding. I just replied "okay" and went to the bathroom. I came back and he explained why he hid it for so long (my dad would had literally killed him when he originally wanted to tell us in 1984 and felt guilty over it. He also knows that my ex is a moron and would equate homosexuality with pedophilia and didn't want that affecting my visitation with my son). I listened intently and asked him what he wanted to do next. We ended up going home to see mom and tell the rest of the family.

We're still in shock, but not one person has been unsupportive. He's family and we would never disown him over something like that. It took a tremendous amount of courage to tell us. We feel better (he does too) that he doesn't have hide himself. The only person not to know is my son, but he will be told when my brother moves out as that will be one less headache to deal with.

molson · 08-14-2009, 10:00 PM

No suspicions? Has he dated women?

duckman · 08-14-2009, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by molson

No suspicions? Has he dated women?

I had no idea! None of my brothers or mom knew. We were in the dark. He was very secretive about his personal life even as we lived together.

He was once married to a woman after he left the Air Force. He became a member of a church believing that God would cure him of his homosexuality, but you can't "pray the gay away." He tried to be a good husband but his wife had an affair, so he decided to that he live his life but keep it from everyone. He did a fantastic job of hiding it.

Flasch186 · 08-14-2009, 10:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duckman

My brother and I had been roommates since I went to school. He was going to move out in November because I wanted to get out on my own. This was before I knew anything about his orientation, so I don't want anyone to think I'm throwing him out.

I was actually walking to the bathroom when he called me over to his room to tell me. At first, I thought he was messing with me, but he told me he wasn't kidding. I just replied "okay" and went to the bathroom. I came back and he explained why he hid it for so long (my dad would had literally killed him when he originally wanted to tell us in 1984 and felt guilty over it. He also knows that my ex is a moron and would equate homosexuality with pedophilia and didn't want that affecting my visitation with my son). I listened intently and asked him what he wanted to do next. We ended up going home to see mom and tell the rest of the family.

We're still in shock, but not one person has been unsupportive. He's family and we would never disown him over something like that. It took a tremendous amount of courage to tell us. We feel better (he does too) that he doesn't have hide himself. The only person not to know is my son, but he will be told when my brother moves out as that will be one less headache to deal with.

Dude thats awesome.

Autumn · 08-14-2009, 10:54 PM

Pretty amazing that he was able to hide it all those years. It's hard to imagine what it must be like feeling like you have to work that hard to keep your life secret.

lungs · 08-14-2009, 11:22 PM

Thumbs up for being supportive.

johnnyshaka · 08-14-2009, 11:23 PM

Glad to hear that he's finally been able to tell you guys and that the response has been good. Keep it up, he'll need all the support he can get for the next little while.

My step dad had one of his brothers come out about 7 or 8 years ago but I wasn't all that surprised. He was married at one time and has two kids, but his son won't have anything to do with him...pretty sad.

M GO BLUE!!! · 08-15-2009, 12:29 AM

How old is he? It's amazing (and sad) that he kept it a secret all these years.

BYU 14 · 08-15-2009, 02:03 AM

My youngest brother is gay also and support is the key, it's something that has never made any of us bat an eyelash and he has mentioned how much more comfortable he is since he came out.

Good for you and your family for being supportive. I am sure it was a heavy cross to bear not knowing the reaction he would get and his relief is probably palpable right now.

duckman · 08-15-2009, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

How old is he? It's amazing (and sad) that he kept it a secret all these years.

He'll be 41 in September.

Yes, it's amazing (just because he's my brother and roommate and never once thought he might be gay), but I can see that it would be easy in a place like Oklahoma. We Okies don't exactly have a lot of tolerance of gays, but we also pretend they don't exist here. Most know where the gay communities are in OKC and Tulsa and stay out of those areas, so him going to those places undetected by those that know him would be easy.

flere-imsaho · 08-17-2009, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lungs

Thumbs up for being supportive.

Marc Vaughan · 08-17-2009, 10:00 AM

Wht flere said and congrats to your brother for being brave, must have taken real guts imho

Mustang · 08-17-2009, 10:28 AM

Your brother and my brother need to get together.

It took 46 years for my brother... - Front Office Football Central

08-14-2009, 09:04 PM	#2
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	wow. __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

08-14-2009, 09:08 PM	#3
JPhillips Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newburgh, NY	Good for him. There's nothing more paralyzing than denying such an essential part of one's self. __________________ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

08-14-2009, 09:09 PM	#4
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country	don't tell that christopher reeves Spoiler too soon? Last edited by MJ4H : 08-14-2009 at 09:10 PM.

08-14-2009, 09:20 PM	#7
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	If you dont mind the question, where was the conversation? Over dinner? seriously, just wondering if there is more of a story there. __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

08-17-2009, 10:28 AM	#20
Mustang Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Wisconsin	Your brother and my brother need to get together. It took 46 years for my brother... - Front Office Football Central __________________ You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its...

08-14-2009, 09:20 PM	#6
Lorena Unregistered Join Date: May 2004	Good for him!

08-14-2009, 10:00 PM	#9
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	No suspicions? Has he dated women?

08-14-2009, 10:54 PM	#12
Autumn Head Coach Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bath, ME	Pretty amazing that he was able to hide it all those years. It's hard to imagine what it must be like feeling like you have to work that hard to keep your life secret.

08-14-2009, 11:22 PM	#13
lungs Pro Rookie Join Date: May 2002 Location: Prairie du Sac, WI	Thumbs up for being supportive.

08-14-2009, 11:23 PM	#14
johnnyshaka College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Edmonton, AB	Glad to hear that he's finally been able to tell you guys and that the response has been good. Keep it up, he'll need all the support he can get for the next little while. My step dad had one of his brothers come out about 7 or 8 years ago but I wasn't all that surprised. He was married at one time and has two kids, but his son won't have anything to do with him...pretty sad.

08-15-2009, 12:29 AM	#15
M GO BLUE!!! Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2005	How old is he? It's amazing (and sad) that he kept it a secret all these years.

08-15-2009, 02:03 AM	#16
BYU 14 Coordinator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: The scorched Desert	My youngest brother is gay also and support is the key, it's something that has never made any of us bat an eyelash and he has mentioned how much more comfortable he is since he came out. Good for you and your family for being supportive. I am sure it was a heavy cross to bear not knowing the reaction he would get and his relief is probably palpable right now.

08-17-2009, 10:00 AM	#19
Marc Vaughan SI Games Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Melbourne, FL	Wht flere said and congrats to your brother for being brave, must have taken real guts imho

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