Real Life - Toddzilla's wife comes home - Page 2

Toddzilla · 02-02-2007, 12:20 PM

Thanks guys - even though you guys aren't around the corner so we can go grab a beer - being here to hear me vent and encourage me helps me make it through the day. Much appreciated.

If we ever get the NoVa FOFC happy hour off the ground, I'm buying the first round.

CamEdwards · 02-11-2007, 12:17 PM

Hey Todd, hope everything is going well. I've been quietly following the dynasty and hadn't seen an update in awhile. You guys are still in my thoughts and prayers.

Toddzilla · 02-12-2007, 10:44 AM

Geez, I hadn't realized it's been over a week since my last post.

It's pretty much the same-old-same-old. Improvements are being made at a glacial pace, but unfortunately that only reinforces my wife's belief that she isn't sick and shouldn't be on her meds. Did I mention she really hates her meds? She does. She hates them. She really hates them. Oh boy does she hate them. It's become almost a self-fulfilling prophecy now. She has gotten to the point I'm afraid that she will continue to seek out a psychiatrist - she hasn't found one yet that accepts new patients - until she gets one that tells her what she wants to hear. She's already dismissed using the doctors in her out-patient program in the interim. They want to keep her medicated, therefore they don't have her best interests in mind and so they're not good doctors. Sigh. I'm afraid EF27 is right with his statistic about re-hospitalization. It's no longer a matter of "if" in my mind, it's "when". When is she going to finally get fed up with her side-effects and just quit taking them?

My wife is always asking strange questions, like she;s trying to wear me down and get me to admit she doesn't need her meds.

So what exactly does healthy mean?
When will I be considered healthy?
What is th lowest dose of medicine that can be considered?
What does it mean to be crazy?
What exactly is a threat to myself entail?
How can I be considered a threat to my daughter?

I don't know, because it hasn't happened yet, but the next hospitalization - especially if it is due to her acting against doctor's orders - is the last one me and my daughter are going to be a part of.

KevinNU7 · 03-12-2007, 10:40 AM

Month later. How is it going?

Mizzou B-ball fan · 03-12-2007, 11:30 AM

Yes, I was curious as well. Hadn't heard from Todd in awhile. Hoping for the best, though I'm a bit concerned that he hasn't posted an update for some time.

Toddzilla · 03-12-2007, 11:56 AM

Thanks guys for bring me back to the thread. Honestly, I kind of forgot about it as things have been real busy out here in IT-land thanks to the change in DST.

Anyway, I'd have to characterize things as going "well".

The awful side effects that my wife suffered from her medication have diminished quite a bit. She's tired, but not overly sleepy all the time. She still has a tough time concentrating, but not nearly to the degree as a month ago.

The main affect her medication has taken at this point is depression. The intent I suppose was to stabilize her mood and stop the manic-ness, but it seems to have tipped the scale over to depression. She is really down. Way down. Fortunately she's got her mind finally wrapped around her condition, her treatment, and her recovery, but she's still pretty sad. Her attitude toward me has also shifted from being adversarial and untrusting to now where she's relying on me to help her get through the day - keep her spirits up, keep her positive, let her know that I'm here for her and I'll do anything for her. She has gotten far enough away from being manic that she is beginning to realize that she wasn't thinking clearly back then and she is starting to understand why I did what I did and why I was so insistent that she get help and stay on a course of treatment. She even asked to add an anti-depressant to her medication which the doctors did last week - that was a huge step for her.

In that regard, it has been difficult. I'm taking care of my daughter most of the time, taking care of myself, and taking care of my wife. I've got my own therapy once a week, and couples therapy once a week. One of the things I learned while my wife was in out-patient care during a family history workshop is that my family - esp. my mom's side - is heavily prone to mental illness (depression, bipolar disorder, etc.). As such, I've also gone back on medication - Zoloft - at a low pharmaceutical dose to make sure my mood doesn't spin out of control during this period of way high stress. I can't say for sure if it is helping, but you haven't read about me on the news, so I'll say it works

.

So far, so kinda-good. Thanks for checking in - I'll try to be a little more diligent checking in...

path12 · 03-12-2007, 12:42 PM

Glad to hear that things are improving, albeit slowly. Continued best wishes to you both.

Mizzou B-ball fan · 03-12-2007, 01:44 PM

Glad to hear some positive news. You're a very strong person. I have no idea how I would handle your situation if I was in it, though I would hope I'd do as well as you have.

Eaglesfan27 · 03-12-2007, 02:22 PM

I'm also glad to hear good news. Depression after a manic episode is VERY common and the best way to treat it is by adding an antidepressant to the mood stabilizer. I'm glad your wife seems to be coming to terms with the fact that she has an illness and needs to be compliant with treatment. That is a HUGE hurdle that often takes people multiple hospitalizations to cross. Hopefully, she'll continue to accept her illness, be compliant with treatment and be back to a good point soon.

dawgfan · 03-12-2007, 02:33 PM

Sounds like an important corner has been turned - I'm continuing to hope for the best for you and your family.

KevinNU7 · 03-12-2007, 09:45 PM

Thanks for the update Todd. Just to add I am not shocked at all that your wife is depressed. I know if I suddently realized what I put my wife through and that I was going to have to change my life style due to something physically wrong with me I would be depressed too.

Marc Vaughan · 05-27-2010, 11:11 AM

Being English I'm habitually taught to stay out of emotional conversations and keep a stiff upper lip - but I had to post and say that you've been incredible - the patience and compassion you've shown to your wife are an inspiration and I can only hope that I could do half of what you've done in the same position.

02-11-2007, 12:17 PM	#52
CamEdwards Stadium Announcer Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Burke, VA	Hey Todd, hope everything is going well. I've been quietly following the dynasty and hadn't seen an update in awhile. You guys are still in my thoughts and prayers. __________________ I don't want the world. I just want your half.

03-12-2007, 10:40 AM	#54
KevinNU7 College Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: Beantown	Month later. How is it going? __________________ Boston Bashers - III.14 - (8347)

03-12-2007, 12:42 PM	#57
path12 Coordinator Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Seattle, WA	Glad to hear that things are improving, albeit slowly. Continued best wishes to you both. __________________ We have always been at war with Eastasia.

03-12-2007, 02:22 PM	#59
Eaglesfan27 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: New Jersey	I'm also glad to hear good news. Depression after a manic episode is VERY common and the best way to treat it is by adding an antidepressant to the mood stabilizer. I'm glad your wife seems to be coming to terms with the fact that she has an illness and needs to be compliant with treatment. That is a HUGE hurdle that often takes people multiple hospitalizations to cross. Hopefully, she'll continue to accept her illness, be compliant with treatment and be back to a good point soon. __________________ Retired GM of the eNFL 2007 Super Bowl Champion Philadelphia Eagles (19-0 record.) GM of the WOOF 2006 Doggie Bowl Champion Atlantic City Gamblers. GM of the IHOF 2019 and 2022 IHOF Bowl Champion Asheville Axemen.

03-12-2007, 09:45 PM	#61
KevinNU7 College Starter Join Date: May 2003 Location: Beantown	Thanks for the update Todd. Just to add I am not shocked at all that your wife is depressed. I know if I suddently realized what I put my wife through and that I was going to have to change my life style due to something physically wrong with me I would be depressed too. __________________ Boston Bashers - III.14 - (8347)

02-12-2007, 10:44 AM	#53
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	Geez, I hadn't realized it's been over a week since my last post. It's pretty much the same-old-same-old. Improvements are being made at a glacial pace, but unfortunately that only reinforces my wife's belief that she isn't sick and shouldn't be on her meds. Did I mention she really hates her meds? She does. She hates them. She really hates them. Oh boy does she hate them. It's become almost a self-fulfilling prophecy now. She has gotten to the point I'm afraid that she will continue to seek out a psychiatrist - she hasn't found one yet that accepts new patients - until she gets one that tells her what she wants to hear. She's already dismissed using the doctors in her out-patient program in the interim. They want to keep her medicated, therefore they don't have her best interests in mind and so they're not good doctors. Sigh. I'm afraid EF27 is right with his statistic about re-hospitalization. It's no longer a matter of "if" in my mind, it's "when". When is she going to finally get fed up with her side-effects and just quit taking them? My wife is always asking strange questions, like she;s trying to wear me down and get me to admit she doesn't need her meds. So what exactly does healthy mean? When will I be considered healthy? What is th lowest dose of medicine that can be considered? What does it mean to be crazy? What exactly is a threat to myself entail? How can I be considered a threat to my daughter? I don't know, because it hasn't happened yet, but the next hospitalization - especially if it is due to her acting against doctor's orders - is the last one me and my daughter are going to be a part of.

03-12-2007, 11:30 AM	#55
Mizzou B-ball fan General Manager Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Kansas City, MO	Yes, I was curious as well. Hadn't heard from Todd in awhile. Hoping for the best, though I'm a bit concerned that he hasn't posted an update for some time.

03-12-2007, 11:56 AM	#56
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	Thanks guys for bring me back to the thread. Honestly, I kind of forgot about it as things have been real busy out here in IT-land thanks to the change in DST. Anyway, I'd have to characterize things as going "well". The awful side effects that my wife suffered from her medication have diminished quite a bit. She's tired, but not overly sleepy all the time. She still has a tough time concentrating, but not nearly to the degree as a month ago. The main affect her medication has taken at this point is depression. The intent I suppose was to stabilize her mood and stop the manic-ness, but it seems to have tipped the scale over to depression. She is really down. Way down. Fortunately she's got her mind finally wrapped around her condition, her treatment, and her recovery, but she's still pretty sad. Her attitude toward me has also shifted from being adversarial and untrusting to now where she's relying on me to help her get through the day - keep her spirits up, keep her positive, let her know that I'm here for her and I'll do anything for her. She has gotten far enough away from being manic that she is beginning to realize that she wasn't thinking clearly back then and she is starting to understand why I did what I did and why I was so insistent that she get help and stay on a course of treatment. She even asked to add an anti-depressant to her medication which the doctors did last week - that was a huge step for her. In that regard, it has been difficult. I'm taking care of my daughter most of the time, taking care of myself, and taking care of my wife. I've got my own therapy once a week, and couples therapy once a week. One of the things I learned while my wife was in out-patient care during a family history workshop is that my family - esp. my mom's side - is heavily prone to mental illness (depression, bipolar disorder, etc.). As such, I've also gone back on medication - Zoloft - at a low pharmaceutical dose to make sure my mood doesn't spin out of control during this period of way high stress. I can't say for sure if it is helping, but you haven't read about me on the news, so I'll say it works . So far, so kinda-good. Thanks for checking in - I'll try to be a little more diligent checking in...

03-12-2007, 01:44 PM	#58
Mizzou B-ball fan General Manager Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Kansas City, MO	Glad to hear some positive news. You're a very strong person. I have no idea how I would handle your situation if I was in it, though I would hope I'd do as well as you have.

03-12-2007, 02:33 PM	#60
dawgfan Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Seattle	Sounds like an important corner has been turned - I'm continuing to hope for the best for you and your family.

05-27-2010, 11:11 AM	#62
Marc Vaughan SI Games Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Melbourne, FL	Being English I'm habitually taught to stay out of emotional conversations and keep a stiff upper lip - but I had to post and say that you've been incredible - the patience and compassion you've shown to your wife are an inspiration and I can only hope that I could do half of what you've done in the same position.

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