Parents Anonymous, FOFC Branch

[JonInMiddleGA]

Sigh. Last weekday before Will goes back to school.

I would never have believed it would be possible but I honestly hate him going back to school from summer vacation even more than I hated me going back to school once upon a time.

[Lorena]

I hear ya Jon.

We've been blessed this year with all the stuff we've been able to do, gonna miss it. On the other hand, I'm very much looking forward to how they do in school. Larissa won the Explorer Award (for exemplary citizenship and performing above and beyond expectations) last year so it will be interesting to see how far she pushes herself. Landon will be going to school full-time which will be quite the change for him. He was attending a PPCD (Preschool Program for Children with Disabilities) class and in a couple of weeks, he'll be going full time with a few hours in a "regular" kindergarten class. In a way I'm a little concerned because he's been more vocal than he was the last day of school... sort of worried he's gonna disrupt the class. He's been going around telling us, "You do not -do this or do that-" and he gets really, really upset when we tell him it's not acceptable to say this to ppl.

[hoopsguy]

My two year old daughter brought some negative attention on herself earlier this week. She is pretty vocal for her age - big vocabulary and talks non-stop when she gets rolling. Over the last few weeks she has been getting more demanding, wanting to do things herself and showing less patience with others.

Anyway, at recess she was not pleased with the actions of her classmates and proceeded to call them out as "stupid kids". My wife and I are not sure where she would have heard this phrase before, as we try very hard not to utter many negative thoughts around her and especially not towards her peers.

It is kind of funny, but I do want to nip it in the bud.

[PilotMan]

This is a big week for us. This will be the first time in 4 years, that we won't be homeschooling. School starts for everyone this week. We will have an 8th grader, second grader and first grader. Pretty exciting stuff there.

[Flasch186]

how long should you let a 5 month old cry/whine for when it's obviously an attention/hold me thing going on because the minute you do theyre fine?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Flasch186

how long should you let a 5 month old cry/whine for when it's obviously an attention/hold me thing going on because the minute you do theyre fine?

Before answering, I think I have to ask something along the lines of "why are they wanting that attention"? What I'm trying to get at here is whether it's a jealously thing ("don't look at Mommy, look at ME!") or if maybe there's some more subtle insecurity issue that they're trying to get reinforcement about. Is this situational, is it constant/persistent regardless of situation, etc.

[Flasch186]

Well it is when we put him down to take a nap he isnt having it, so he freaks out and within about 5 minutes when we pick him up he's fine ALTHOUGH he also doesnt like to be still. If youre just holding him...forget it, you have to be walking with him.

This was the first time we really let him go at it while he has been put in his crib and we said we'd give it ten minutes before going in. Well, lo and behold at 8 he started to get a little less energetic in his crying and at 10 he's sleeping.

finally, no naps all day and Im going to kill our dogs for barking at the most inopportune times.

[JonInMiddleGA]

It's tough watching your kid learn lessons, even when they're inevitable ones that have good value for the rest of life. Even tougher to watch when you know they're taking an ethical stand just like you've taught 'em but will likely get the short end of the social fallout from it.

[FrogMan]

what happened Jon? That's if you want to expand. Saw your FB post but didn't want to ask openly over there since I know your son would be reading.

Feel free to let go if you need someone to listen to you.

FM

[PurdueBrad]

Hey guys and gals,

The wife and I are struggling with an issue with my son. He is 18 months old and has taken to swatting/slapping/hitting the two dogs and my wife. He usually does it with something in his hand (for instance, he got a hold of another child's Matchbox car and came up to my wife and slammed it into her forehead). He usually laughs after this behavior and continues to do it.

It seems like he's doing for the reaction but it is incredibly frustrating. I've had a bit of luck of putting out my bottom lip frown-style and he stops and hugs me but thirty seconds later usually hits again. Any thoughts or advice on how to help curb this behavior?

Thanks in advance,

Brad

[JonInMiddleGA]

Thread necromancy time I guess.

I don't think I've said much about this on the board previously but basically since Christmas we've had a persistent health problem with Will. Long story short, he had a flu-like bug right around the holidays but never really seemed to snap back from them. Most of January & February he was lethargic, daily complaints of chronic pain (my arms/legs hurt), to the point of missing an entire week of school last month. Doctors x2, no clue. Nearly 50 different blood tests -- looking for signs of things like leukemia, lupus, anemia, etc - nothing really out of the ordinary, low end of normal for iron & Vit B but that was about it. Took a long look at whether it might be psychological/emotional, really nothing serious enough to attribute this level of complaint to.

Meanwhile, he's miserable & we know it's for real: if my kid hits the door & goes to bed at 4pm, feels too bad to even touch his 360 for a week ... something ain't right.

Got a phone call from the doctor today, looks like they've pinpointed a very likely cause: severe Vitamin D deficiency. Doc says it's definitely enough to cause the symptoms, prescribed an 8-week "mega-dose" of D (and 1 hr of sunlight a day when possible) with a recheck at the end of that, likely a daily supplement to follow.

Too soon to say for sure of course, but if indeed this is the source of the problem, it's a heck of a lot better than a lot of the candidates previously considered & that's a great relief. And then we get to spend the rest of our lives worrying about how D deficiency is sometimes a mid/long range precursor to a cancer diagnosis. Parenting sure is fun, huh?

[johnnyshaka]

Great to hear that they've at least figured out a potential cause for the issues he's been faced with.

I hear ya on the "parenting is fun" sentiment...mine are 4 and 2 and I find myself often wondering why I waited so long to get a vasectomy...love them to death but the constant worrying (most of the time it's about the littlest things) can be very consuming. I like to think of myself as a pretty laid back guy so I can't imagine how the tightly wound crowd manages to function day to day with kids.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by johnnyshaka

I can't imagine how the tightly wound crowd manages to function day to day with kids.

The answer to that, often as not, would be "just barely"

[Coffee Warlord]

God, I can post in this thread now. Fuck.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Fuck.

Isn't that sort of how you got posting rights in this thread in the first place? Do people never learn?

[AnalBumCover]

I hereby submit my request for membership to this thread. I'm here in the labor & delivery room browsing FOFC while the wife is doped up and asleep. She's 8cm dilated as of an hour ago, so BabyBumCover's appearance is imminent. Wish us luck!

[Coffee Warlord]

DO NOT LOOK AT YOUR WIFE'S CROTCH.

[RedHawk00]

wow, good luck and welcome to the fraternity.
and be a man and hold a leg, i did!

[Coffee Warlord]

Hey, I did too. I just kept my eyes looking away.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by AnalBumCover

I hereby submit my request for membership to this thread. I'm here in the labor & delivery room browsing FOFC while the wife is doped up and asleep. She's 8cm dilated as of an hour ago, so BabyBumCover's appearance is imminent. Wish us luck!

Good luck ... and make sure they include the instruction manual with all the other paperwork when they send you home. They apparently forgot to give us one and my son is still flashing 12:00 nearly 13 years later.

[tarcone]

Congrats on the addition.
Jon, that is scary stuff. Im glad it is "only" a Vitamin D issue.

My girls are getting along very well. A's in school, enjoying their friends, staying out of the drama. Good stuff.

My youngest (age 9) just got glasses. She is excited to wear them. So that is good.
My other daughter (age 10) is about to go through the AIDS/HIV and how female parts work speech at school. My wife went to a parent meeting about it the other night. They watched the videos and heard what was going to be said. Some parents walked out saying "No way my child is watching that". Some parents live in a vacuum. Like their kids havent heard about boners yet. Anyway, cant wait for the questions.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by tarcone

My youngest (age 9) just got glasses. She is excited to wear them. So that is good.

Not sure if this is true everywhere now or if it's some local quirkiness but I've been amazed to discover over the past few years that things which were once social disasters -- glasses, braces, school buses -- were now some sort of mark of coolness.

Go figure.

[AnalBumCover]

Four weeks in now, and Ashley is up to 4 oz per feeding. And "blowouts" have been a bit more frequent lately.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by tarcone

Congrats on the addition.
Jon, that is scary stuff. Im glad it is "only" a Vitamin D issue.

My girls are getting along very well. A's in school, enjoying their friends, staying out of the drama. Good stuff.

My youngest (age 9) just got glasses. She is excited to wear them. So that is good.
My other daughter (age 10) is about to go through the AIDS/HIV and how female parts work speech at school. My wife went to a parent meeting about it the other night. They watched the videos and heard what was going to be said. Some parents walked out saying "No way my child is watching that". Some parents live in a vacuum. Like their kids havent heard about boners yet. Anyway, cant wait for the questions.

Seriously?? At age 10?!?!?!

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Seriously?? At age 10?!?!?!

Absolutely. The first sexual innuendo (used correctly, without prompting, complete with a literal nudge & wink) we heard from a classmate of my son's was in kindergarten. And while it might have been a proposition akin to a dog chasing a car (i.e. wouldn't exactly know what to do with it if they caught it), it was a real eye-opener to hear.

By 10, you'll hear girls checking out "packages" on guys & even some of the guys discussing various & sundry attributes of women (noting here that girls do indeed mature faster & that apparently includes their, umm, appetites).

This isn't just mimicry either, they're saying these things in the correct context, for lack of a better way off hand to explain the distinction I'm trying to make.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by AnalBumCover

Four weeks in now, and Ashley is up to 4 oz per feeding.

Next stop: the transition from kid's meals to the adult menu

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally Posted by AnalBumCover

Four weeks in now, and Ashley is up to 4 oz per feeding. And "blowouts" have been a bit more frequent lately.

Christopher is up to...whatever he can get from mommy's boobs.

I have determined though, that this child is going to have monstrous feet. At 1.5 months, he has feet identical in size to the Not Small 6 month old son of my buddy.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Not sure this will get much traction in a fairly overlooked thread but I'll throw it out there anyway.

What word are you ready to remove from your child's vocabulary?

A friend just mentioned that they'd just about reached their limit with hearing "dude" from their teenage son. I LOL'ed because I've already been through the feeling of being "duded out" & luckily managed somehow to at least get mine to cut back on it somewhat.

At the moment I'm starting to worry a little that he's becoming a little too comfy with the universal adjective, but between me, song lyrics, and his friends, I guess that one is rather predictable but will still have to be dealt with pretty quickly.

So those are mine, what word have you gotted tired of hearing from your kid lately?

[RedHawk00]

my 3 year old just started saying AWESOME, everything is awesome now, it's pretty cute, but mrs. redhawk00 is already tired of it...

[AnalBumCover]

Hey CW, does yours belt out this really pissed-off sounding cry when he doesn't get what he wants right away?

Like, "where the fuck is my food already?" or "why the fuck am I still naked?"

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

What word are you ready to remove from your child's vocabulary?

A friend just mentioned that they'd just about reached their limit with hearing "dude" from their teenage son. I LOL'ed because I've already been through the feeling of being "duded out" & luckily managed somehow to at least get mine to cut back on it somewhat.

I think I mentioned this several months ago in the Random Thoughts thread, but my 6 year old daughter repeatedly calls me dude. I kept telling her "don't call me dude," but then I made the mistake of showing her this:

http://

BIG mistake. Now we go back and forth - "Hey dude, don't call me dude!"

[Coffee Warlord]

Originally Posted by AnalBumCover

Hey CW, does yours belt out this really pissed-off sounding cry when he doesn't get what he wants right away?

Like, "where the fuck is my food already?" or "why the fuck am I still naked?"

It's usually only food when he does that. He in no uncertain terms will let us know when he's hungry. Changing him is a huge pain in the ass when he's hungry. "STOP WIPING MY ASS AND FEED ME, FUCKWAD"

[RendeR]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Seriously?? At age 10?!?!?!

At what age do you think a girl's body starts to "adjust" DT? =)

I used to think it was 13-14 but its actually much earlier.

And no, I am NOT ready for such things. I have another 4 years or so.

[Coffee Warlord]

My god.

He almost slept through the entire night last night.

Dad is pleased.

[AnalBumCover]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

My god.

He almost slept through the entire night last night.

Dad is pleased.

Nice. Had a couple of those myself. Except last night - she woke me up twice. And the second time, 45 minutes before my 4am alarm. *grumble*

[AnalBumCover]

Ashley is having a restless night tonight. One of the worst since the early weeks. I'm just glad it's happening on a weekend.

[JeeberD]

So I had my first accident with Bren the other day. He's approaching 16 months now, big and strong, and he, my wife, and I went for a walk after we picked him up from daycare. We were about 2/3 done with our walk and he was wanting out of the stroller, so I picked him up and put him on my shoulders, and started bouncing around and being goofy and making him laugh. That's when he decided to grab the glasses off my face...I was holding him by his legs, so I let go of his right leg to try and get my glasses back, and he twisted away from my hand, and I lost my grip with my left hand, and next thing I knew the wife was screaming and I could feel Bren tumbling down my back.

We were walking along a concrete path in a park near our house, but somehow (divine intervention?) I had moved to the edge of the path, and when I looked down, Bren was landing on the dirt next to the path, thank god. He landed on his upper back/shoulders first, then hit the back of his head. My wife grabbed him from the ground with tears in her eyes already, and we looked him over. There wasn't any blood, and there wasn't any obvious swelling yet, and when I reached out to touch him she pulled away from me and started to walk away with him. He was crying, too, but as they walked towards a picnic table he started to calm down, until he realized how upset mom was and then he got riled up again. I gave them their space for a minute, then made my way over to the bench to see how he was doing. He reached for me when I got over there, and he stopped crying when I took him, and I couldn't stop apologizing to him...over and over and over again I told him how sorry I was.

As we walked back towards home, he was fairly quiet, not as chatty as he had been before. We started kind of quizzing him on some of his favorite words, which he started to repeat. We put him down, and he was walking fine. We were actually supposed to meet my family for dinner that evening, and by the time we got home he was pretty much himself. My dad is a doc, so I figured that if there were any signs of problems he would be able to help diagnose. And the rest of the night he was totally himself, if not a bit more rambunctious than normal. Not a single problem since then.

Since then, I keep flashing back to it, but instead of seeing him land on the dirt on his shoulders, I see him landing on the concrete on his head or neck, and not moving afterward. It scares the shit out of me how lucky we got, to drop a kid from six feet up and have him come out unscathed is incredible. I wonder if I'm ever going to feel comfortable carrying him on my shoulders any more...something I absolutely love to do. I wonder if my wife will LET me carry him on my shoulders...

Anyways, this came out longer than intended, just needed to vent a little and get it off my chest. Hopefully the flashes of guilt will subside soon enough and we can get back to roughhousing like he enjoys...

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

So I had my first accident with Bren the other day. He's approaching 16 months now, big and strong, and he, my wife, and I went for a walk after we picked him up from daycare. We were about 2/3 done with our walk and he was wanting out of the stroller, so I picked him up and put him on my shoulders, and started bouncing around and being goofy and making him laugh. That's when he decided to grab the glasses off my face...I was holding him by his legs, so I let go of his right leg to try and get my glasses back, and he twisted away from my hand, and I lost my grip with my left hand, and next thing I knew the wife was screaming and I could feel Bren tumbling down my back.

We were walking along a concrete path in a park near our house, but somehow (divine intervention?) I had moved to the edge of the path, and when I looked down, Bren was landing on the dirt next to the path, thank god. He landed on his upper back/shoulders first, then hit the back of his head. My wife grabbed him from the ground with tears in her eyes already, and we looked him over. There wasn't any blood, and there wasn't any obvious swelling yet, and when I reached out to touch him she pulled away from me and started to walk away with him. He was crying, too, but as they walked towards a picnic table he started to calm down, until he realized how upset mom was and then he got riled up again. I gave them their space for a minute, then made my way over to the bench to see how he was doing. He reached for me when I got over there, and he stopped crying when I took him, and I couldn't stop apologizing to him...over and over and over again I told him how sorry I was.

As we walked back towards home, he was fairly quiet, not as chatty as he had been before. We started kind of quizzing him on some of his favorite words, which he started to repeat. We put him down, and he was walking fine. We were actually supposed to meet my family for dinner that evening, and by the time we got home he was pretty much himself. My dad is a doc, so I figured that if there were any signs of problems he would be able to help diagnose. And the rest of the night he was totally himself, if not a bit more rambunctious than normal. Not a single problem since then.

Since then, I keep flashing back to it, but instead of seeing him land on the dirt on his shoulders, I see him landing on the concrete on his head or neck, and not moving afterward. It scares the shit out of me how lucky we got, to drop a kid from six feet up and have him come out unscathed is incredible. I wonder if I'm ever going to feel comfortable carrying him on my shoulders any more...something I absolutely love to do. I wonder if my wife will LET me carry him on my shoulders...

Anyways, this came out longer than intended, just needed to vent a little and get it off my chest. Hopefully the flashes of guilt will subside soon enough and we can get back to roughhousing like he enjoys...

Yeah - gotta watch that with the glasses...they're totally like...fascinated by them. I can recall a couple times with my niece where she almost slipped out of my grasp due to that.

Don't beat yourself up TOO much...a little bit is probably okay, but I'm sure your wife has had "accidents" that she just didn't mention to you when you weren't around.

Glad to hear everything is okay.

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Don't beat yourself up TOO much...a little bit is probably okay, but I'm sure your wife has had "accidents" that she just didn't mention to you when you weren't around.

Glad to hear everything is okay.

Thanks, DT. I appreciate it...

Heh, actually a couple months ago my wife was wearing high heels to work (a rare occurance), and as she was heading out to her car and carrying Bren (so should could drop him off at daycare) she lost her balance and went down in the driveway. Bren went down forehead first that time, and he had a huge knot on his forehead for a week. After this last incident, she made the comment that we've both had our drops, and now not to have any more. I can get on board with that...

[chesapeake]

I'm glad Bren is OK. Kids are remarkably durable.

I fell down a flight of carpeted stairs with my younger daughter when she was about 6-7 months old. She was spooked but otherwise fine.

Frankly, I think incidents like these are worse on the parents than the kids. And, unfortunately, I have found that the 'dropping' nightmares stick with you for a long time.

[AnalBumCover]

Learned how to turn a fussy, gassy baby into a human whoopie cushion: Lay the baby on her back and bring her knees up and gently put pressure onto the tummy with her knees. Instant farts and laughs abound.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Jeebs, that shit happens. To everybody. Maybe not identical but close enough that every parent recognizes the story.

Let your kid play with loaded guns, stick kitchen utensils into electrical outlets, give them a can of gasoline, a box of fireworks, and a box of matches ... then we'll beat you up (and save you from doing it yourself).

Something like this? Count your blessings & move on. None of us gets a perfect parent skill boost when they cut the cord.

[JeeberD]

Thanks ches and Jon. Since posting that I've actually felt a lot better, I think getting it off my chest was rather cathartic. Of course, the next day I was grilling and Bren was in the backyard with my wife and he came over towards my general area, I took my eye off him for two seconds, and the next thing I know he was grabbing the grill...luckily the handles, not the 400+ degree body. Another lesson learned...don't ever take your eye off the kid if there's even a remote chance of him getting into something dangerous.

The good news is that after sleeping crappily for the last week or so, he slept through the night for just the second time ever last night! I'm sure it was just him catching up on his rest, though.

[Coffee Warlord]

I'm hurting. Wife went back to work, I'm shuttling the get to and from the parent's house on the way in. Luckily, it's on the way to work, but it's still a pain.

Of course, the bigger problem is this has thrown his sleep schedule off. He's not sleeping nearly as much during the night as he used to. Ugh.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Meanwhile we're winding down on the longest complete separation from our since birth. When he gets back from DC tomorrow afternoon/evening he'll have been gone for 5+ days (left Sunday morning). No phone calls, no emails, no contact. (school policy basically).

And on Saturday I officially become the parent of a teenager.

[Coffee Warlord]

And Sunday you purchase additional ammo.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Just a few minutes more than 13 years ago, I got one of the great blessings anyone has ever been granted. I couldn't have gotten a better kid if I had custom ordered him. For all the stress & worry that goes with being a parent, it's incredibly nice to be able to look at your son & know that he's a better person not only than you were at his age but than you've ever been. I'd love to take credit for it but honestly, I believe he came out of the womb with most of it.

I'm sure I'll be back to having something to complain or worry about soon enough, but for tonight, parenting for me means being thankful.

[AnalBumCover]

Woke me up every two hours last night. Took an hour to put her back to sleep each time. I'm a walking zombie at work today.

[Coffee Warlord]

Welcome to growth spurts.

[AnalBumCover]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Welcome to growth spurts.

Yeah... I was warned about the 6-8 week age. She's 7 weeks old today.