How do you eat corn on the cob?

rowech · 07-19-2011, 07:19 PM

I grilled some corn on the cob tonight and although we've been married seven years my wife noticed that I eat my corn on the cob by using what I'll call the "turn" method. I take a bite at end of ear, turn, next bite in the same column if you will, turn, next bite. When a column is finished I move the ear over. She eats hers by using what I will call the "typewriter" method. Eats across an entire row and then turns eats across an entire row, etc.

How do you eat yours?

Rizon · 07-19-2011, 07:30 PM

Marc Vaughan · 07-19-2011, 07:31 PM

Typewriter every time, not sure why - have always done that .. and passed it onto my kids as well

jeff061 · 07-19-2011, 07:36 PM

Typewriter. Fewer turns. More efficient.

MJ4H · 07-19-2011, 07:57 PM

Turn method. What the hell? I didn't even know there was another way.

Izulde · 07-19-2011, 08:11 PM

Typewriter. What the hell? I didn't know people ate turnstile.

Karlifornia · 07-19-2011, 08:13 PM

I randomly bite at the places where the most kernels are

Fidatelo · 07-19-2011, 08:14 PM

As a kid I tried various methods including turn, typewriter, and some different zig-zag styles. In the end I settled on typewriter due to it's practicality and satisfying aesthetics.

thesloppy · 07-19-2011, 08:27 PM

I turn. I was watching an Iron Chef recently in which the chairman suggested that you should eat your corn vertically, from the tip down, because it gave you better access to the base of the kernel, which is apparently the sweetest part. It didn't work out for me.

Swaggs · 07-19-2011, 08:46 PM

These types of threads are why I keep coming back to FOFC, even if I have barely touched any Solecismic games in the past 5-years or so.

I love that this quote was made by "thesloppy:"

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesloppy

I turn. I was watching an Iron Chef recently in which the chairman suggested that you should eat your corn vertically, from the tip down, because it gave you better access to the base of the kernel, which is apparently the sweetest part. It didn't work out for me.

thesloppy · 07-19-2011, 08:53 PM

I should note that my two front teeth are fake, which may indeed contribute to a sloppy(er) corn eating style. I love the satisfied feeling that comes with eating an ear of corn, and knowing you've got like four dozen kernels stuffed in the spaces between your teeth.

cuervo72 · 07-19-2011, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

I randomly bite at the places where the most kernels are

I'm with Karl.

JonInMiddleGA · 07-19-2011, 08:57 PM

She's doing it right

bronconick · 07-19-2011, 09:01 PM

Autumn · 07-19-2011, 09:18 PM

I used to do the typewriter method, my whole life, but just this past year I've switched to the turn. I like it better, I find it easier to bite well that way, I think because you already have cleared one side of the row you're biting, whereas typewriter you're always making a brand new bite.

stevew · 07-19-2011, 09:56 PM

I avoid going to my parents house during corn season because it is traumatic. I hate corn on the cob.

thesloppy · 07-19-2011, 09:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stevew

I hate corn on the cob.

BURN HIM!

spleen1015 · 07-19-2011, 10:01 PM

I'm a turner. My wife is a typewriter.

EagleFan · 07-19-2011, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Autumn

I used to do the typewriter method, my whole life, but just this past year I've switched to the turn. I like it better, I find it easier to bite well that way, I think because you already have cleared one side of the row you're biting, whereas typewriter you're always making a brand new bite.

Only for the first row. Once that row is done you have a clear side on every bite.

EagleFan · 07-19-2011, 10:51 PM

Typewriter FTW!

It's the only way that makes sense. It's practical and efficient.

Grammaticus · 07-19-2011, 11:00 PM

The cut method.

Place the cob perpendicular to the plate. Take the knife and cut from the top down to the bottom. Slightly rotate clockwise and repeat until you have a pile of cobless corn goodness on the plate.

ntndeacon · 07-19-2011, 11:01 PM

screw effeciency!
To everything Turn! Turn! Turn!
There is a seasonm. Turn! Turn! Turn!

Vince, Pt. II · 07-19-2011, 11:13 PM

I honestly go back and forth.

Edit: That is, I sometimes go typewriter, sometimes turn.

sovereignstar v2 · 07-19-2011, 11:25 PM

I can't stand getting the shit between my teeth, so...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grammaticus

The cut method.

Place the cob perpendicular to the plate. Take the knife and cut from the top down to the bottom. Slightly rotate clockwise and repeat until you have a pile of cobless corn goodness on the plate.

Ditto.

molson · 07-20-2011, 12:04 AM

I would never marry a woman who used the typewriter method. So ya, good luck with all that.

Peregrine · 07-20-2011, 09:20 AM

Definitely the turn method - everyone in my family eats it like that.

Marmel · 07-20-2011, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Grammaticus

The cut method.

Place the cob perpendicular to the plate. Take the knife and cut from the top down to the bottom. Slightly rotate clockwise and repeat until you have a pile of cobless corn goodness on the plate.

+1. I hate getting all that shit in my teeth.

PackerFanatic · 07-20-2011, 10:20 AM

Isn't all the shit in your teeth part of the fun of corn on the cob though?

Makes me really want some now...

MJ4H · 07-20-2011, 10:56 AM

Is that some foreign word that means "disaster" but is spelled like the english word "fun?"

Marmel · 07-20-2011, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PackerFanatic

Isn't all the shit in your teeth part of the fun of corn on the cob though?

Makes me really want some now...

I thought it was the sweet, buttery, salty deliciousness.

MrBug708 · 07-20-2011, 11:12 AM

I do the turn method, my girlfriend takes a knife a slices it off

Julio Riddols · 07-20-2011, 11:13 AM

Typewriter style, left to right. I'm writing a love letter to my stomach.

CleBrownsfan · 07-20-2011, 11:47 AM

I haven't had a good corn on the cob all summer. This year seems like a bad year for corn here in Ohio...

EagleFan · 07-20-2011, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrBug708

my girlfriend takes a knife a slices it off

Run!!!

Ksyrup · 07-20-2011, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Autumn

I used to do the typewriter method, my whole life, but just this past year I've switched to the turn. I like it better, I find it easier to bite well that way, I think because you already have cleared one side of the row you're biting, whereas typewriter you're always making a brand new bite.

This. The worst part of corn on the cob is getting stuff caughty between your teeth. With the turn method, once you get it started you don't have to stop. I can eat an entire ear in one shot. It's less messy, too, since there's no corn above where you just took a bite. I basically plow through each column of corn with my top teeth.

Easy Mac · 07-20-2011, 01:04 PM

With my hands, not with those damn corn holders.

JediKooter · 07-20-2011, 01:24 PM

I have my Korean slave girl hold the corn for me while I eat it. But, since that isn't one of the options, I chose typewriter style.

thesloppy · 07-20-2011, 01:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

I have my Korean slave girl hold the corn for me while I eat it.

I bet that's how Steven Seagal eats corn. He's also probably a certified master corn eater.

Rizon · 07-20-2011, 01:58 PM

I put it in a crock pot and leave it while I go to work.

JediKooter · 07-20-2011, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by thesloppy

I bet that's how Steven Seagal eats corn. He's also probably a certified master corn eater.

Makes me wonder who would win in a corn eating contest. Seagal or Van Damme?

JediKooter · 07-20-2011, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rizon

I put it in a crock pot and leave it while I go to work.

That's got to be some tender and juicy corn.

Pumpy Tudors · 07-20-2011, 03:42 PM

I pay somebody to eat the shit for me. I'm ballin'.

MizzouRah · 07-20-2011, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bronconick

M GO BLUE!!! · 07-20-2011, 08:12 PM

I pay others to de-cob the kernels & put them in a bag which I then throw in the microwave & allow to "pop."

If that's not an option, I eat in a straight line up & down around the edges so as to create a nice, neat margin, then I go all typewriter on it. Butter, seasoned salt & cracked pepper. Preferably grilled.

Subby · 07-21-2011, 10:21 AM

Only serial killers remove kernels from the cob with a knife.

Sun Tzu · 07-21-2011, 10:25 AM

For those who cut the corn off of the cob, I have discovered a revolutionary new way for you to eat corn!

Freaks.

Pumpy Tudors · 07-21-2011, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I pay others to de-cob the kernels & put them in a bag which I then throw in the microwave & allow to "pop."

Funny, I do the same thing, except you can replace the word "kernels" with the phrase "people who screw with me."

britrock88 · 07-21-2011, 04:09 PM

Two typewriters, one scatterbrain in my household.

k0ruptr · 07-23-2011, 12:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

I randomly bite at the places where the most kernels are

this.

View Poll Results: How do you eat corn on the cob?
Turn method	19	26.03%
Typewriter method	54	73.97%
Voters: 73. You may not vote on this poll

07-19-2011, 07:31 PM	#3
Marc Vaughan SI Games Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Melbourne, FL	Typewriter every time, not sure why - have always done that .. and passed it onto my kids as well Last edited by Marc Vaughan : 07-19-2011 at 07:32 PM.

07-19-2011, 07:36 PM	#4
jeff061 Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: MA	Typewriter. Fewer turns. More efficient. __________________

07-19-2011, 08:11 PM	#6
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Typewriter. What the hell? I didn't know people ate turnstile. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

07-19-2011, 08:13 PM	#7
Karlifornia Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: San Jose, CA	I randomly bite at the places where the most kernels are __________________ Look into the mind of a crazy man (NSFW) http://www.whitepowerupdate.wordpress.com

07-19-2011, 07:57 PM	#5
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country	Turn method. What the hell? I didn't even know there was another way.

07-19-2011, 08:14 PM	#8
Fidatelo Pro Starter Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Winnipeg, MB	As a kid I tried various methods including turn, typewriter, and some different zig-zag styles. In the end I settled on typewriter due to it's practicality and satisfying aesthetics. __________________ "Breakfast? Breakfast schmekfast, look at the score for God's sake. It's only the second period and I'm winning 12-2. Breakfasts come and go, Rene, but Hartford, the Whale, they only beat Vancouver maybe once or twice in a lifetime."

07-19-2011, 08:27 PM	#9
thesloppy Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: PDX	I turn. I was watching an Iron Chef recently in which the chairman suggested that you should eat your corn vertically, from the tip down, because it gave you better access to the base of the kernel, which is apparently the sweetest part. It didn't work out for me. __________________ Last edited by thesloppy : Today at 05:35 PM.

07-19-2011, 08:53 PM	#11
thesloppy Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: PDX	I should note that my two front teeth are fake, which may indeed contribute to a sloppy(er) corn eating style. I love the satisfied feeling that comes with eating an ear of corn, and knowing you've got like four dozen kernels stuffed in the spaces between your teeth. __________________ Last edited by thesloppy : Today at 05:35 PM. Last edited by thesloppy : 07-19-2011 at 08:55 PM.

07-19-2011, 08:57 PM	#13
JonInMiddleGA Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA	She's doing it right __________________ "I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis

07-19-2011, 09:01 PM	#14
bronconick College Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Kalamazoo, MI

07-19-2011, 09:18 PM	#15
Autumn Head Coach Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bath, ME	I used to do the typewriter method, my whole life, but just this past year I've switched to the turn. I like it better, I find it easier to bite well that way, I think because you already have cleared one side of the row you're biting, whereas typewriter you're always making a brand new bite.

07-19-2011, 09:56 PM	#16
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	I avoid going to my parents house during corn season because it is traumatic. I hate corn on the cob.

07-19-2011, 10:01 PM	#18
spleen1015 Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2003	I'm a turner. My wife is a typewriter.

07-19-2011, 10:51 PM	#20
EagleFan Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Mays Landing, NJ USA	Typewriter FTW! It's the only way that makes sense. It's practical and efficient. __________________ The EagleFan YouTube Channel - Reactions Soarin' & Scratchin' YouTube Channel - We react to music, videos, TV, we talk, we are planning some field trips Soarin' & Soothin' - Meditation, Relaxation, and Sleep Aid; mental health is important

07-19-2011, 11:00 PM	#21
Grammaticus Pro Rookie Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Tennessee	The cut method. Place the cob perpendicular to the plate. Take the knife and cut from the top down to the bottom. Slightly rotate clockwise and repeat until you have a pile of cobless corn goodness on the plate.

07-19-2011, 11:01 PM	#22
ntndeacon Pro Starter Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Alabama	screw effeciency! To everything Turn! Turn! Turn! There is a seasonm. Turn! Turn! Turn!

07-19-2011, 11:13 PM	#23
Vince, Pt. II Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Somewhere More Familiar	I honestly go back and forth. Edit: That is, I sometimes go typewriter, sometimes turn. Last edited by Vince, Pt. II : 07-19-2011 at 11:14 PM.

07-20-2011, 12:04 AM	#25
molson General Manager Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: The Mountains	I would never marry a woman who used the typewriter method. So ya, good luck with all that.

07-20-2011, 09:20 AM	#26
Peregrine Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Cary, NC	Definitely the turn method - everyone in my family eats it like that.

07-20-2011, 10:20 AM	#28
PackerFanatic Pro Starter Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Appleton, WI	Isn't all the shit in your teeth part of the fun of corn on the cob though? Makes me really want some now...

07-20-2011, 10:56 AM	#29
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country	Is that some foreign word that means "disaster" but is spelled like the english word "fun?"

07-20-2011, 11:12 AM	#31
MrBug708 Head Coach Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Whittier	I do the turn method, my girlfriend takes a knife a slices it off

07-20-2011, 11:13 AM	#32
Julio Riddols College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bryson Shitty, NC	Typewriter style, left to right. I'm writing a love letter to my stomach. __________________ Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused. FUCK EA

07-20-2011, 11:47 AM	#33
CleBrownsfan Pro Rookie Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: C-Town	I haven't had a good corn on the cob all summer. This year seems like a bad year for corn here in Ohio... __________________ *XBox Gamertag:* Pronk32 FOOL-X - Cleveland Naps FOOL - Cleveland Cyclones SLOP - Cuyahoga Spiders

07-20-2011, 01:04 PM	#36
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	With my hands, not with those damn corn holders.

07-20-2011, 01:24 PM	#37
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	I have my Korean slave girl hold the corn for me while I eat it. But, since that isn't one of the options, I chose typewriter style. __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

07-20-2011, 03:42 PM	#42
Pumpy Tudors Bounty Hunter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Pittsburgh, PA	I pay somebody to eat the shit for me. I'm ballin'. __________________ No, I am not Batman, and I will not repair your food processor.

07-20-2011, 08:12 PM	#44
M GO BLUE!!! Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2005	I pay others to de-cob the kernels & put them in a bag which I then throw in the microwave & allow to "pop." If that's not an option, I eat in a straight line up & down around the edges so as to create a nice, neat margin, then I go all typewriter on it. Butter, seasoned salt & cracked pepper. Preferably grilled.

07-21-2011, 10:21 AM	#45
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	Only serial killers remove kernels from the cob with a knife. __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

07-21-2011, 10:25 AM	#46
Sun Tzu Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In the thick of it.	For those who cut the corn off of the cob, I have discovered a revolutionary new way for you to eat corn! Freaks. __________________ I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon.

07-21-2011, 04:09 PM	#48
britrock88 Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Madison, WI	Two typewriters, one scatterbrain in my household.

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