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Old 03-08-2013, 02:17 PM   #1
korme
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio
Gizoogle

Go to gizoogle and search for something. Here's Roger Ebert's review of "Lincoln"

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I've rarely been mo' aware than durin Steven Spielbergz "Lincoln" dat Abraham Lincoln was a plain-spoken, practical, down-to-earth playa from tha farmlandz of Kentucky, Indiana n' Illinois yo. Dude had less than a year of formal ejaculation n' taught his dirty ass all up in his hungry readin of pimped out books. I still recall from a cold-ass lil childhood book tha image of his ass takin a piece of charcoal n' hittin dat shizzle up mathematics by freestylin on tha back of a shovel.

Lincoln lacked hood polish but dat schmoooove muthafucka had pimped out intelligence n' knowledge of human nature. Da hallmark of tha man, performed so powerfully by Daniel Day-Lewis up in "Lincoln," is calm self-confidence, patience n' a willingnizz ta play polistics up in a realistic way. Da film focuses on tha final monthz of Lincolnz life, includin tha passage of tha 13th Amendment endin slavery, tha surrender of tha Confederacy n' his thugged-out assassination. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Rarely has a gangbangin' film attended mo' carefully ta tha detailz of polistics.

Lincoln believed slavery was immoral yo, but he also considered tha 13th Amendment a masterstroke up in cuttin away tha financial foundationz of tha Confederacy. In tha film, tha passage of tha amendment is guided by Lil' Willy Seward (Dizzy Strathairn), his secretary of state, n' by Rep. Thaddeus Stevens (Tommy Lee Jones), da most thugged-out bangin abolitionist up in tha House. Neither these nor any other performances up in tha film depend on self-conscious histrionics; Jones up in particular portrays a cold-ass lil crafty codger wit some secret hidin places up in his thugged-out ass.

Da capital hood of Washington is portrayed here as roughshod gatherin of suckas on tha make. Da images by Januss Kaminski, Spielbergz frequent cinematographer, bust earth tones n' muted indoor lighting. Da White Doggy Den is less a temple of state than a gatherin place fo' wheelaz n' dealaz. This ambience reflects tha descriptions up in Gore Vidalz historical novel "Lincoln," although tha polistical n' underground details up in Tony Kushnerz concise, revealin dialogue is based on "Crew of Rivals: Da Ballistical Geniuz of Abraham Lincoln" by Doris Kearns Goodwin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da book is well-titled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This be a gangbangin' film not bout a icon of history yo, but on some prez whoz ass was scorned by a shitload of his thugged-out lil' polistical opponents as just a hayseed from tha backwoods.

Lincoln aint above polistical vote buyin yo. Dude offers thangs, promotions, titlez n' pork barrel spendin yo. Dude aint even slightly reluctant ta employ tha low-handed tacticz of his chizzle negotiators (Tim Blake Nelson, Jizzy Spader, Jizzy Hawkes). Thatz how tha fuck tha game is played, n' indeed we may be reminded of tha arm-bendin used ta pass tha civil muthafuckin rights legislation by Lyndon B. Johnson, tha subject of another bibliography by Goodwin.

Daniel Day-Lewis, whoz ass has a lock on a Oscar nomination, modulates Lincoln. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude is soft-spoken, a lil hunched, exhausted afta tha muthafuckin yearz of war, concerned dat no mo' troops die yo. Dude communicates all up in stories n' parablez fo' realz. At his side is his hoe, Mary Todd Lincoln (Sally Field, typically sturdy n' spunky). Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch has already lost one lil hustla Willie, whoz ass passed at 11 wit illness, n' fears ta lose tha other. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. This boy, Robert Todd Lincoln (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), refuses tha privilegez of family.

There is some battlefieldz up in "Lincoln" but tha only battle scene be all up in tha opening, when tha lyricz of tha Gettysburg Address is spoken wit tha top billin possible impact, n' not by Lincoln. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Kushner also smoothly weaves tha wordin of tha 13th Amendment tha fuck into tha film without makin it sound like a obligatory history lesson.

Da film endz soon afta Lincolnz assassination. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I suppose crews will expect dat ta be included. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! There be a earlier shot, when it could have ended, of Prezzy Lincoln struttin away from tha camera afta his thugged-out amendment has been passed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Da rest belongs ta history.

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It mildly amused me.

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Old 03-08-2013, 02:33 PM   #2
Blackadar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by korme View Post
It mildly amused me.

That makes one of us.
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Old 03-08-2013, 02:42 PM   #3
korme
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio
I actually was very entertained when I gizoogled my own twitter account. You know. I guess it's just me
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Old 03-11-2013, 12:37 PM   #4
JeeberD
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Dude, you even posted in the 2005 Gizoogle thread
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Old 03-11-2013, 12:39 PM   #5
Logan
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Nearly 8 years ago to the day, no less.
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