Chuck Norris - Page 3

Easy Mac · 03-10-2006, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colt45

I would like to wish all here on the board a Happy Chuck Norris's Birthday.

Chuck Norris doesn't get older, you just get closer to death.

Toddzilla · 03-10-2006, 07:59 PM

I heard Chuck Norris got Maximum Football to work correctly.

cartman · 03-10-2006, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toddzilla

I heard Chuck Norris got Maximum Football to work correctly.

After Chuck got through with the game, it even handles soccer better than Football Manager.

Bearcat729 · 03-10-2006, 08:55 PM

Chuck Norris invented wormholes for the sole purpose of roundhouse kicking Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler at the same time.

JPhillips · 03-10-2006, 08:59 PM

Chuck Norris = Maximum Customizability

Kicks to the face

or

Punches to the face

Fonzie · 03-10-2006, 10:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by colt45

I would like to wish all here on the board a Happy Chuck Norris's Birthday.

I can't believe he's 66.

JeeberD · 03-11-2006, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bearcat729

Chuck Norris invented wormholes for the sole purpose of roundhouse kicking Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler at the same time.

It's The Ultimate Showdown...

hxxp://media.putfile.com/ultimateshowdown

Lorena · 10-23-2006, 05:10 PM

"They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard".

Kodos · 04-12-2007, 09:58 AM

My wife alerted me to this:

hxxp://the-isb.blogspot.com/2007/04/behold-hidden-gusset.html

Dodgerchick · 01-07-2010, 02:14 AM

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack.

Dodgerchick · 01-07-2010, 02:21 AM

- When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways.

- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down

- Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths.

Oh shit, I'm dying here.. these are great.

Dodgerchick · 01-07-2010, 02:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toddzilla

I heard Chuck Norris got Maximum Football to work correctly.

ajajajajahahahahah

Dodgerchick · 01-07-2010, 02:32 AM

One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter.

hoopsguy · 03-20-2013, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorena

"They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard".

No longer an issue?
A Requiem for Chuck Norris’s Beard | Movie Talk - Yahoo! Movies

cartman · 03-20-2013, 01:06 PM

I guess that is why the Large Hadron Collider is offline for 18 months. It was the only thing able to generate enough power to remove Chuck's beard.

JediKooter · 03-20-2013, 01:45 PM

Chuck is 73, but, his beard is immortal.

Matthean · 03-20-2013, 01:50 PM

There's an instant endorsement deal.

03-10-2006, 08:59 PM	#105
JPhillips Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newburgh, NY	Chuck Norris = Maximum Customizability Kicks to the face or Punches to the face __________________ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

01-07-2010, 02:14 AM	#110
Dodgerchick College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Austin, TX	The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack. __________________ DON'T ITCH THAT NOSE! A Meditation Dynasty

01-07-2010, 02:21 AM	#111
Dodgerchick College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Austin, TX	- When Chuck Norris played golf for money, chuck marked down a hole in 0 every time, a pro at the golf club, said to Chuck: "excuse me sir, but you cant score zero on a hole". Chuck Norris turned towards the man and said, im Chuck Norris, the man then proceeded to pour gas over his body and set himself on fire because that would be less painful than getting roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him in the face anyways. - If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down - Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of “beard”. Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus’ obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. Oh shit, I'm dying here.. these are great. __________________ DON'T ITCH THAT NOSE! A Meditation Dynasty

01-07-2010, 02:32 AM	#113
Dodgerchick College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Austin, TX	One time while sparring with Wolverine, Chuck Norris accidentally lost his left testicle. You might be familiar with it to this very day by its technical term: Jupiter. __________________ DON'T ITCH THAT NOSE! A Meditation Dynasty

03-20-2013, 01:06 PM	#115
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	I guess that is why the Large Hadron Collider is offline for 18 months. It was the only thing able to generate enough power to remove Chuck's beard. __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

03-10-2006, 07:59 PM	#102
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	I heard Chuck Norris got Maximum Football to work correctly.

03-10-2006, 08:55 PM	#104
Bearcat729 College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Cincinnati, Ohio	Chuck Norris invented wormholes for the sole purpose of roundhouse kicking Joseph Stalin and Adolf Hitler at the same time.

10-23-2006, 05:10 PM	#108
Lorena Unregistered Join Date: May 2004	"They once tried to carve Chuck Norris' face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't hard enough for his beard".

04-12-2007, 09:58 AM	#109
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	My wife alerted me to this: hxxp://the-isb.blogspot.com/2007/04/behold-hidden-gusset.html

03-20-2013, 01:45 PM	#116
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	Chuck is 73, but, his beard is immortal. __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

03-20-2013, 01:50 PM	#117
Matthean Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Aug 2008	There's an instant endorsement deal. __________________ Board games: Bringing people back to the original social network, the table.

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