Regret

[grdawg]

I am a frequent lurker, don't post much. I just need an outlet to vent. My wife and I and kids moved down from the northeast to the south and we couldn't find a place on our few trips down to visit so we ended up taking a 6 month rental and moved in December. We figured we'd have 6 months to find our dream house. I think our initial expectations of what we could get here changed over the time as the inventory is very low here and every house we saw had some negative and any really good houses had multiple bids right away. We were getting toward the end of our rental lease and started panicing a little. A house that we had tried to see in February (sold in like 5 days of listing) was back on the market and we rushed to see it. Based on the pictures I was building it up as the one. We had always been so careful to hide our feelings toward our agent on all the other houses and ask all the questions, but on this house I was blinded and we made an offer right away because I was afraid it would get into multiple offer situation. During the inspection there was some issues and it got a little contentious and we had a chance to walk away, but we came to terms. Fast forward to now, we've been in the house for a few weeks and are distraught. Both my wife and I are regretting this and think we overpaid and if we did turn around and sell right away we'd lose a good deal of money. It's not as upgraded as a lot of other houses and now we are noticing so many things that we were blinded to before. We keep telling ourselves to give it time and remember the things we liked so much originally. What bugs us is that we did all the right things, we didn't rush into buying something, we rented and saw so many houses.

Would it be nuts to try to sell it after having it for only a month? We would take a significant loss if we did that even if we got what we paid (and we don't even think we would now) because of realtor fees and closing costs and updates we've made already and we'd still be in the same boat as before. If we found another house that we loved, we'd probably not be able to get it without a contingency of selling this and seller's don't seem to be taking contingencies in this market here. We also have a great interest rate on this house and rates have jumped over the past month which is another hit against us. And to top this all off, prices have jumped significantly where we moved from so we lost out on a good deal of money when we sold our place up north.

What we've been trying to say to ourselves is just live in it and don't think of it as our forever house and we'll reevaluate in a few years and hopefully by that time we won't want to move.

Sorry for the long post, needed an outlet to get it out.

[Blackadar]

What market are you in? I work in construction and I don't know of any market in the South that is THAT hot that you can't buy with a seller's contingency.

If you can afford it and you really hate the house, then go ahead and sell it. Frankly, if you overpaid, then you're going to take a beating trying to resell the house. Moving costs + realtor costs + losses on the selling price...that's a lot of money.

If not...well, it sounds to me like you made an impulsive buy and now have buyer's regret. But instead of replacing one rash decision with another, I think you need to see if you can turn that house into a home. What does it need? New landscaping? A paint job? Can you knock down a non-structural wall and remodel it (which would probably be cheaper than relisting it)? Remodel the kitchen? Add new bathroom fixtures? Replace furniture that doesn't quite fit the house? There are so many things you can do to a house to make it yours...maybe you should try those ideas first before even thinking about re-listing it.

[CraigSca]

Any idea why the previous owners sold so quickly? Was it a transfer?

[Flasch186]

PM sent

[Desnudo]

Sounds like buyers regret on superficial issues if there's nothing you weren't expecting. I would give it some time and see if you still feel the same way. No reason to compund the situation by taking a bath for nothing valid.

[Danny]

It could be a postmortem type of deal. You may have so built up and excited over the idea of buying a hiuse that yiu had that adrenaline going and now that's its over, you miss those endorphins in your brain

[BYU 14]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

Sounds like buyers regret on superficial issues if there's nothing you weren't expecting. I would give it some time and see if you still feel the same way. No reason to compund the situation by taking a bath for nothing valid.

I would agree on these points, you don't want to worsen your situation if this is something you can maybe deal with, at least for the short term (1-2 years)

Some other things I would consider. Are the neighborhood and schools nice? If so that can offset some shortcomings you may feel about the property. If you feel good about the area, maybe give some time and see if the house will grow on you. Also, are you able to apply the money you would likely lose reselling and buying a new property to upgrading this house? that may be another thing to look at.

[Flasch186]

He needs to call me. Seriously. I can talk through it with him and his wife and get to the bottom of this. Ive been doing it too long now... Plus its free. I dont know if he lives here or doesnt but for FOFC if I can put a little bit of knowledge to good use then its all worth it. I hate you guys.

[Desnudo]

I hate real estate agents so its gain gain

[Flasch186]

I'm a broker so Ive actually gone to more schooling on how to stick it to ya

[TroyF]

Talk to a professional. You have one here, use him.

Beyond that, here are my questions:

1) You and your wife have to ask yourselves if you really liked the house or if you were just desperate for one. If it's the former, don't make any exit strategy. If it's the latter, you probably need to start making one.

2) You talk about upgrades that other houses have. What are those upgrades? Keep in mind, you sell this thing now and you will have closing costs (potentially both ways in a difficult market), capital gains and other fun stuff to deal with.

If you can afford all of that (forget the contingerncy for a second), then can you spend that money upgrading the current house for cheaper?

3) Just a tip for life that I've learned. . . whenever I make a big purchase (computer, house, car, etc.) I stay the hell away from looking at prices. The last thing I want to do is spend money on something and regret it not because what I bought was bad but because it isn't what I COULD have had.

Buying a house and starting to look at other ones before the furniture settles in is a recipe for disaster.

[chesapeake]

What are the shortcomings you have found? Are they things that can be fixed through renovations or expansion or are they things that can't be changed, like a crappy school district or a high crime rate?

Assuming the former, you probably need to do a cost/benefit analysis. Can you make the house into what you want it to be for less than you would lose on the sale of your house? That would be a strong argument for sticking it out.

There are certainly more factors that just the money that I expect you would want to consider, but that would at least provide you with a place to start.

[Buccaneer]

We did something similar back in 1996 - bought a house that had a serious issue that was not disclosed. We thought about suing and/or selling but we stuck it out. The issue was fixed by the builder and we've been in the house ever since.

[JPhillips]

My wife are about to close in a month. We couldn't get everything we wanted at our price point, but we've come to believe that it isn't about finding the perfect home as it is about making it the perfect home. I agree with a lot of what's been said about cosmetic changes and renovations. You can fix a lot of issues for the same amount of money you'll "spend" if you sell quickly.

[Passacaglia]

Originally Posted by Flasch186

I hate you guys.

uncalled for IMO

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Passacaglia

uncalled for IMO

I think he was being sarcastic.

[grdawg]

I appreciate everyone's responses. The house is in North Fulton county, GA

Overall the house is in a great school district and in a subdivision we always liked so that is not the issue. We got the 2 most important things, my wife wanted a flat backyard with low deck and I wanted a finished basement. We were so happy to find those 2 things that we overlooked that it was a little dated. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a good backyard here.

I realize I am being crazy because the house really isn't that bad. It is stupid stuff now that is pissing me off. Older people were living here and we had to take down all the awful curtains, they did partial updates so bathrooms have mismatched fixtures, the appliances are old, landscaping was a mess. Yes, we could spend money updating, but we don't want to go nuts at this point.

I think we just need to calm down and relax and live here for a while and make friends in the neighborhood and that will ease us a little. As much as we'd like to sell now, it would be a huge blow and we moved from the northeast to here for a lower cost of living and better life for our kids.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by grdawg

Overall the house is in a great school district and in a subdivision we always liked so that is not the issue. ... You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a good backyard here.

Not necessarily hard to find a good backyard there if you aren't in a subdivision (or at least it shouldn't be). That combination however, well, an awful lot of the developments in North Fulton were built with maximizing units in mind, save those that are like just insanely expensive.

I realize I am being crazy because the house really isn't that bad. It is stupid stuff now that is pissing me off. Older people were living here and we had to take down all the awful curtains, they did partial updates so bathrooms have mismatched fixtures, the appliances are old, landscaping was a mess.

Just wondering, is this the first time you've bought a home that's been lived in previously? Or at least one that's more than a few years old? What you're describing sounds like pretty typical stuff to me.

When you've blown out multiple walls to fix a dated floor plan, replaced the entire kitchen stem to stern to at least bring it about 40 years foward and replaced all the accessories that go with a house decorated in 70s country kitsch ... well, then we can talk

[grdawg]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Just wondering, is this the first time you've bought a home that's been lived in previously? Or at least one that's more than a few years old? What you're describing sounds like pretty typical stuff to me.

It's our first house, we had a condo before that and it was only 2 years old at the time and we didn't ever need to anything to that in the 6 years we lived there. I think its a combination of being overwhelmed by the additional space and having to deal with all the extra stuff that we didn't have to worry about with a condo and naively thinking we'd be able to get a house where the previous owners tastes in colors, window treatments, updates, etc matched ours perfectly.

[JPhillips]

Older people were living here and we had to take down all the awful curtains, they did partial updates so bathrooms have mismatched fixtures, the appliances are old, landscaping was a mess.

All that sounds fixable. The house I'm about to close in will be the first of three that I haven't had to repaint and/or strip wallpaper throughout the whole house.

But, don't expect to fix it all at once. Over a year or two you can do everything you want and still not kill yourselves with extra work. Once you're done it will really be "your" home and that's tremendously satisfying IMO.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by grdawg

It's our first house, we had a condo before that and it was only 2 years old at the time and we didn't ever need to anything to that in the 6 years we lived there. I think its a combination of being overwhelmed by the additional space and having to deal with all the extra stuff that we didn't have to worry about with a condo and naively thinking we'd be able to get a house where the previous owners tastes in colors, window treatments, updates, etc matched ours perfectly.

Ahhhh, the angst makes considerably more sense to me now.

Maybe there's at least some consolation/comfort in knowing that what you're going through is incredibly normal. From the sense of buyer's remorse to the frustration of realizing that the previous occupants were either color blind or had no taste whatsoever to the almost panic attack feel of "how the #$%@ are we ever going to do everything that needs doing". All perfectly common.

More often than not, you survive it. You may not be 100% sure how you survived it, but you likely will.

Best of luck.

[grdawg]

Originally Posted by JPhillips

All that sounds fixable. The house I'm about to close in will be the first of three that I haven't had to repaint and/or strip wallpaper throughout the whole house.

But, don't expect to fix it all at once. Over a year or two you can do everything you want and still not kill yourselves with extra work. Once you're done it will really be "your" home and that's tremendously satisfying IMO.

I appreciate your words. We did paint our daughter's room, my wife wanted her to have a pink room and it came out great. We had some work done before we moved in as well, but I think we just need to step back and figure out what will make us happy and not rush to do everything.

[molson]

Originally Posted by JPhillips

Once you're done it will really be "your" home and that's tremendously satisfying IMO.

Agreed, and that's kind of the fun of getting an older house. Mine was built in the 30s and it has about 10 times the cosmetic and outdated-stuff issues described in this thread. It's going to be a really slow process but I try to make it more my own little by little along the way. Homes evolve. Ever been back to your childhood home after your family moved out of years before? It's not usually even the same place.

[Doug5984]

My first house was old old, and had some issues like you are describing- mismatched stuff, out dated- I was very unhappy with it at times. What me and my wife did was fix one room at a time. For a small room with not much we'd estimate the costs, get a plan, save up- fix it all at best we could, then move on to the next one. The next month, or when we had enough saved.

If you took all the money you'd lose on selling, buying, moving- and put it into that house I think you'd be very happy with where you are at. Remember the things you like about it, enjoy those things- and slowly fix the things you don't.

Eventually a tree smashed the shit out of the house- insurance fixed it up, and I sold it and we bought the house we are in. It was previously lived in but only 5 years old so while there are some issues they are much much smaller, and we'll work on them as time goes on.

[Doug5984]

Take the finished basement and make it an awesome man cave, take the backyard and deck it out to your liking- when the house stress gets to you, go to one of these areas and remember what you love about it.

[rowech]

Originally Posted by grdawg

I appreciate your words. We did paint our daughter's room, my wife wanted her to have a pink room and it came out great. We had some work done before we moved in as well, but I think we just need to step back and figure out what will make us happy and not rush to do everything.

We have lived in our house for ten years now. We finally have everything exactly how we want it. It doesn't happen as quickly as you think but small changes in faucets, hardware, etc. can go a long way in looks and it also makes you feel as if progress is made until you get to the big stuff.

[JPhillips]

Originally Posted by Doug5984

My first house was old old, and had some issues like you are describing- mismatched stuff, out dated- I was very unhappy with it at times. What me and my wife did was fix one room at a time. For a small room with not much we'd estimate the costs, get a plan, save up- fix it all at best we could, then move on to the next one. The next month, or when we had enough saved.

If you took all the money you'd lose on selling, buying, moving- and put it into that house I think you'd be very happy with where you are at. Remember the things you like about it, enjoy those things- and slowly fix the things you don't.

Eventually a tree smashed the shit out of the house- insurance fixed it up, and I sold it and we bought the house we are in. It was previously lived in but only 5 years old so while there are some issues they are much much smaller, and we'll work on them as time goes on.

"Don't worry so much. Eventually a tree will crush your dreams anyway."

[grdawg]

Originally Posted by Doug5984

Take the finished basement and make it an awesome man cave, take the backyard and deck it out to your liking- when the house stress gets to you, go to one of these areas and remember what you love about it.

Yes, already working on the man cave. I think once I get that set up ill be pretty happy. Right now we have 1 TV set up and my wife is always watching bachelorette or real housewives

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by grdawg

I appreciate everyone's responses. The house is in North Fulton county, GA

Overall the house is in a great school district and in a subdivision we always liked so that is not the issue. We got the 2 most important things, my wife wanted a flat backyard with low deck and I wanted a finished basement. We were so happy to find those 2 things that we overlooked that it was a little dated. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find a good backyard here.

I realize I am being crazy because the house really isn't that bad. It is stupid stuff now that is pissing me off. Older people were living here and we had to take down all the awful curtains, they did partial updates so bathrooms have mismatched fixtures, the appliances are old, landscaping was a mess. Yes, we could spend money updating, but we don't want to go nuts at this point.

I think we just need to calm down and relax and live here for a while and make friends in the neighborhood and that will ease us a little. As much as we'd like to sell now, it would be a huge blow and we moved from the northeast to here for a lower cost of living and better life for our kids.

Late to the party (popular thread today), but aren't fixtures like the #1 easiest cosmetic, DIY thing to fix? Go to Home Depot or Loews, find fixtures you like, and DIY. It's so easy.

Landscaping is good DIY.

Appliances - if I was you I'd prioritize and start putting a bit of money each paycheck into an "appliance replacement" fund. Then look at where the sales are vs. what's a priority vs. how much money you have in the fund at any time.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by grdawg

Right now we have 1 TV set up and my wife is always watching bachelorette or real housewives

There's the root of your problem. Being subjected to those TV shows!!

[Swaggs]

If you like the location and general layout/size/space of the house, you should be able to make it more "your own" over time.

If you have access to a Lowe's or Home Depot and youtube, you should be able to change fixtures pretty easily. Doing that and painting can make a huge difference.

[Alan T]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Landscaping is good DIY.

You would think... But it's always raining every weekend, or like a million degrees and 1000% humidity.. or I just don't feel like it.. or all of the above I have some landscaping that is 4+ years ongoing right now.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Alan T

You would think... But it's always raining every weekend, or like a million degrees and 1000% humidity.. or I just don't feel like it.. or all of the above I have some landscaping that is 4+ years ongoing right now.

Alan, that's not landscaping anymore, that's just flat wildlife.

[Lathum]

It all sounds like pretty fixable stuff. If you turn around and sell the house, you will just be taking a huge loss and have less money to find your "dream" house.

As someone who has bough a couple of houses that dream house isn't there, you have to compromise somewhere unless you make a lot of money and can customize something. Our current house we purchased for just under 400K and it was a new construction, there are still things we don't love about it, but are making changes on our own to get it where we want it. It's just part of owning a home. Just step back and be happy you are in a spot to own a home and no longer burning your money by renting.

[miked]

We moved to the A and loved our house when we bought it (2006) but mostly because the real estate market was going crazy and everyone was bidding. Now that we are here for 7 years, there are lots of problems, drainage, leaking old pipes, and a bunch of other stuff. It never really ends, so you better get used to learning what you can live with and what you can't. You can always update fixtures, you can't change the school, so if you are happy with the district (presumably Sandy Springs or something) than it's going to be a net win. Just approach it slowly and decide what you can do for yourself.

[Logan]

The problems you listed are very minor compared to how you made it sound in your OP. I don't say that to come across as a dick, but to make it crystal clear for you to put into your own head. That's a good thing.

My impression is that if you sold and ended up in another house, you'd be kicking yourself for making that move and wasting all that money. It sounds like you're already on your way to overcoming your concerns...keep up the progress!

[GrantDawg]

Wait. There is room for only one gr-dawg on here, and that'd be me!

If you had moved here a little over a year ago, there were more houses than you could possibly look at, but this last year housing has really picked. I think I heard yesterday that housing prices jumped 26% in April. That is a big jump.

[Buccaneer]

Wait a minute, so the rant was about not liking the drapes and having to do yardwork now??

[Blackadar]

Originally Posted by GrantDawg

Wait. There is room for only one gr-dawg on here, and that'd be me!

If you had moved here a little over a year ago, there were more houses than you could possibly look at, but this last year housing has really picked. I think I heard yesterday that housing prices jumped 26% in April. That is a big jump.

It is...sort of. It's a massive step in the right direction. Of course, when they dropped by 50% or more from 2008, a 25% increase is only a slight rebound.

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by Blackadar

It is...sort of. It's a massive step in the right direction. Of course, when they dropped by 50% or more from 2008, a 25% increase is only a slight rebound.

Sure. But it is rebounding much faster than expected (especially here. The Atlanta area got hit hard). My wife was just telling me she talked with a mortgage broker, that said new mortgage work in his office has hit levels equal to the end of the housing bubble suddenly in the last couple of months.

[grdawg]

Originally Posted by GrantDawg

Wait. There is room for only one gr-dawg on here, and that'd be me!

If you had moved here a little over a year ago, there were more houses than you could possibly look at, but this last year housing has really picked. I think I heard yesterday that housing prices jumped 26% in April. That is a big jump.

Yup, we know that and it drives my wife nuts even though we would of taken a bigger hit on the sale of our place in NJ. We came down to look during labor day and we really wanted to buy then but all we saw was crap. A friend of ours who bought here in 2011 was telling us that the best stuff we were seeing was the worst stuff she saw. We just don't seem to have good timing with buying and selling.

[grdawg]

Originally Posted by Logan

The problems you listed are very minor compared to how you made it sound in your OP. I don't say that to come across as a dick, but to make it crystal clear for you to put into your own head. That's a good thing.

Ya, I realize that I am coming across a little nuts and in the long run it is very minor, but it was a big purchase and now that we are here, we are seeing a lot of stuff that we never noticed before and every little thing that is bothering us and is adding up into what we think is a big thing.

It has been therapeutic to get everyone's opinion and it has definitely helped so I thank everyone for their responses.