Most Americans don't care to live near family

[Galaxy]

Most Americans don’t care to live near family, survey says- The Family Room - MSN Living

[JonInMiddleGA]

My honest gut reaction to this is that if you took something like "health concerns" out of the mix then the number would be even lower than the one they got.

I do think, however, that there are factors beyond the most obvious. At their age my parents aren't interested in relocating, so to live near would force me into an area that I really don't think I could survive (or would want to survive) dealing with on a daily basis.

[Danny]

If you raise your kids to be independent and responsible without you near by then job well done. Children need to distance themselves in regards to dependence on their caregiver in order to become a healthy adult. Many people can do this while still living near and seeing their parents often while others may in fact be better off with more distance.

I think for many people, becoming the person they want to be is easier when separated from family.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Well, as in many things, me and "most Americans" differ on this. I moved back to live (just outside) and work in Detroit - hardly the most desirable city in America - just to be close to family. My brother, sister (and their families) and my parents are all within a 15 minute drive. I love it.

Lady H_B's folks just announced that they are planning to sell their place in Wyoming and move to our town. They're still keeping their place in Arizona for the winter.

[JPhillips]

I'd like to be closer to family, but work won't allow it.

[ColtCrazy]

Southern Indiana wasn't polled. People tend to stick close to family around here. Me? I'd prefer to live in as far away as possible. Keeps the "random visits" to a minimum.

[SackAttack]

I'd live near family if I could swing it. That said, I'm happy where I am, also, so.

[chadritt]

Moving away from home was always a big deal to me. Of course my brother lives about 10 miles away from me now and we really only see each other when one of our parents visits so i guess it wouldn't have mattered much. At the very least i am really happy I had the ability to go to colleges that were far enough away to require plane flights as well as eventually move to the other side of the country and be fine.

[mauchow]

Two hours works pretty well for us. Close nough for the parents to come watch the kids in a major pinch but far enough away for them not to expect us to come up every weekend..

[Balldog]

Same as mauchow. We are 2.5 hrs away and it's a nice balance. I do wish our parents could come to sporting events a little easier but that is a small sacrifice for the balance that we have.

[cuervo72]

Once I went to school, I was basically done with living in PA other than over the summers. Once I graduated I got a temporary job with the university, then moved on to my real job at the medical institutions (thanks, Dave). Soon after, my parents divorced, my dad moved to Hawaii and then later Thailand, and my mom moved into a condo (this all forced my brother out of the house).

Met my wife, who was from Miami but had parents then living in Atlanta. We stayed in the Baltimore area, then moved out to Frederick. Considered Atlanta, but her parents moved to Daytona before very long.

Closest relative is my wife's sister and fam, about an hour away in No. VA.

[SteveMax58]

Hmm....the article really seems a bit misleading.

The survey question asked when shopping for a home, what are the key concerns you have. Things like schools, sqft of home, crime rate, all ranked higher on the list than "proximity" to family (whatever one chooses to read into the definition of "proximity" here). I suspect if you asked people whether (as a standalone question) close proximity to family is desirable or undesirable the answer may be much different. And I also suspect people would interpret "close proximity" in a relative fashion.

I have spent most of my adult life either traveling or flat out living far away from family/friends. At first it was something I hated being forced into (in a sense...there was no viable industries for me where I am from). But after having spent time far away, I am actually pretty fond of being a good 2-8 hours from family. Basically an easy drive in a day when we want to visit but not something we'd do all the time.

[StLee]

I'm Exhibit A of people not living close to family since I am about as far away as can be: Korea.

Ideally I would like to live close to family because I am close with my parents and sister (who, by the way, have connecting backyards), but life took me in a different direction.

Also, I live in a small country, but all of my wife's family is spread out, too. My wife's older sister is closest, about 30 minutes away. Her parents are about an hour and a half away on the east coast. Her younger sister is about an hour and a half away on the south coast. Her brother is the farthest away, Seoul, about four hours.

[Izulde]

I could never live in my hometown again. I love my parents and am very close to them, but the thought of living anywhere in Wisconsin other than La Crosse would depress me.

I'd like to have my parents closer, and my mom said once they're able to move, she and my dad will go wherever I decide to make a permanent place to live. My sister lives a couple hours away from Vegas, but we see each other maybe once a year, which is fine. We get along, but we're also two completely different people personality and interestwise, so there's not much need to see each other soon.

My one brother wants the whole family to move to Florida and has been trying to get me to move down there, but I'm not sure if I could see myself there. I do like him and my sister-in-law a lot, though, so it's an option.

Most of the family, though... yeah... no interest in being near them.

[Icy]

Totally the opposite of Spain (and I guess most of Latin countries) where family dependence is way too big.

The average age to leave parents home in Spain is 31 years old, most of people changes 1 or 0 zero times their hometown because job etc.

Of course it is changing a bit now due to the economical crisis, where people needs to search for a job and move to a different city if needed, but on the other hand, there is a lot of people coming back to living with their parents as they lose their jobs.

I hate this heavy family dependence mentality, in fact i would probably be living elsewhere if not because my wife NEEDs to live close to her parents. I have rejected very lucrative job offers in part because it would mean relocating, luckily my current company allows me to work from home, but i still go to the main office in another city once per week or so as I like to be there to not to lose the "physical" contact with the team i lead.

[Lathum]

We haven't lived near family for a long time due to my wifes job. I think a lot of people are in a similar situation. The world is a smaller place now and living far away isn't a big deal with stuff like Skype, facetime, etc...People are more willing to move for a better job, etc... My wife and I talk about it often and our philosophy is we would like to live near our family, but we have to do what is right for our kids, and that is staying in out current situation.

That being said we have had a lot of discussion lately about moving back to NJ. Both of our entire familes are there, with a few exceptions. It would be nice to have our kids know their cousins, aunts, etc...and be close to our parents as they age. We feel like we miss out on a lot of things, plus it is hard having 2 kids and no family around. We don't ever get a break. Would be nice to be able to drop them off at Grandmas for a night and go to AC or NYC.

[spleen1015]

I don't like where my family lives and I don't really like my family. So, living near them isn't something I want to do.

[Young Drachma]

Was always a time zone or two away until the past month or so. Even now, about seven hours away. Which is a safe distance. For me, it's like others have said...I don't want to live down there, it's not so much about intentionally being away. But I do find being away, the burden can often be on you do to orchestrate the visiting or people naturally atrophy in terms of relationships.

[Suburban Rhythm]

For us, it never really became an issue. We both had solid jobs out of school, in Pittsburgh. The only decision was what area to live in.

We're probably an anomoly, but when we considered parts of town, we specifically chose closer to my parents (south of the city) than other parts. We knew once we had kids, my mom would be part of the childcare duties, so it only made sense we not be adding extra driving time, multiple days a week.

And now, my kids are 9 and 7, and my parents are older, into their 70s. It's helpful that I am close by when I need to run over there during the week, etc.

Pittsburgh in general is notorious for people not moving away. Outside of the mass exodus of the 80s that came with the steel mills closing, the typical Pittsburgher probably lives within 30 miles of where they grew up. In many cases, people inherit the house they grew up in, as the parents look to downsize.

[MacroGuru]

My move to Buffalo was major. My step-brother just moved to Houghton, MI at the time and my sister was in Memphis near my dad. My mom was back in Utah by herself while my other sister was trying to get her life straight.

The move here has caused a lot of turmoil in my life. things I have had to overcome without family. It took longer, but I have done it.

Part of me says, move back to be closer to friends and family, while the other part says stay in Buffalo and focus on you and where you are at in life.

I have one angle pulling at me right now...and it's very hard not to listen to it....and that is my heart...

Anyways, if I could do it all over again, I would have probably stayed in Utah.

[Eaglesfan27]

I moved back home to New Jersey a few years ago to be near my mother and rest of my family and love being close to family.

[Easy Mac]

We live 3 minutes from my in-laws...

[britrock88]

Grew up 700 miles from our closest relatives. Now that I've struck out on my own, I'm still 450 miles from any relatives, and 1600 miles from home.

[Qwikshot]

My parents are 45 minutes away. I worked for the same corporation my mother and father worked for, my grandfather worked for.

I missed the window to move away.

Now I have a wife and son and I'm moving closer to my parents, who help out with child care. They are relatively young having just retired. They watch my son, Thursday and Friday.

My wife is more than 4 hours away from hers. They have health problems. My sister-in-law lives in Seattle, but has accepted (being childless) to move back should they need help (I feel that being the oldest of two in my family that I would be obligated to do the same). My brother though will live 2 minutes from me, and we're both going to be 10 minutes away from our parents.

I did not want to live in my hometown, thankfully, the new house (once built) is in an adjacent town...

I think young people should move away for a few years and get a feel for life, I wish I had. But now, my parents are extremely loving and generous, and I'm glad to be close because I can see that they are older (my father had a cancer scare, my mom is just foggy some days) so I let them adore our son, much like they did with my daughter many years ago (she's now 12 and living in Texas).

I think my daughter will be an interesting statistic to this, having moved many times in many years (much like an army brat). She wants to move back to Pennsylvania as soon as humanly possible, but she's got a little brother in Texas now. I figure if she did opt for college in PA, that once she graduated, she could move anywhere.

[Suicane75]

Depends on the family member. I couldn't imagine living away from my mother cause she really is like a close friend at this point. The rest of my family can get gangbanged by a pack of goats for all I give a good dam.

[Julio Riddols]

Originally Posted by ColtCrazy

Southern Indiana wasn't polled. People tend to stick close to family around here. Me? I'd prefer to live in as far away as possible. Keeps the "random visits" to a minimum.

Fuckin random visits, man..

Now you and the lady have to put your damn clothes back on in a hurry and act like you weren't getting it on while your parents or her parents sit there looking at you telling you with their eyes they know what you were doing. Then the more inappropriate one starts making jokes about sex..

You wonder silently to yourself "How damn long were they listening?" "Does this eliminate the living room as a potential sex spot?"

It's all such a mess.

[Desnudo]

Such is life in Bryson Shitty

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Julio Riddols

Fuckin random visits, man..

Now you and the lady have to put your damn clothes back on in a hurry and act like you weren't getting it on while your parents or her parents sit there looking at you telling you with their eyes they know what you were doing. Then the more inappropriate one starts making jokes about sex..

You wonder silently to yourself "How damn long were they listening?" "Does this eliminate the living room as a potential sex spot?"

It's all such a mess.

Are you married?

[Balldog]

I should add my brother and his wife bought a house right across the street from her family. Her parents then downsized and moved to a condo across town (less than half mile away). My brother and his wife then built a house in the subdivision right behind their condo.

I could not imagine.

Then my old roommate who met my sister-in-laws sister through me married my SIL sister and built a house right next to my brother's house.

Crazy life in small town!

We actually contemplated building in the same subdivision but opted to star far away.

[finketr]

Originally Posted by Balldog

I should add my brother and his wife bought a house right across the street from her family. Her parents then downsized and moved to a condo across town (less than half mile away). My brother and his wife then built a house in the subdivision right behind their condo.

I could not imagine.

Then my old roommate who met my sister-in-laws sister through me married my SIL sister and built a house right next to my brother's house.

Crazy life in small town!

We actually contemplated building in the same subdivision but opted to star far away.

can we get a flere diagram for this?