What would you do?

[grdawg]

So this is really stupid, but I was wondering what people thought. I play on a neighborhood doubles tennis team, since it is spring break we don't have a lot of guys available to play. I am scheduled to play at 10:30 on Saturday morning. My mother is coming into town and was supposed to come in on Sunday, but changed her flight to arrive on Saturday at 10AM. I tried to change the time of the match, but I can't. My wife volunteered to pick up my mom at the airport and feels its no big deal. My mom seemed pissed at me when I told her this. Should I ask that they try to find someone to play in my place so i can pick her up or having my wife pick her up is fine? My wife and mother do get along fine.

[DaddyTorgo]

How old are you/how long have you been married?

I suspect you should tell your mom to get over it and you'll see her at home, but if you're only like JUST married and still young then maybe your mom is SLIGHTLY less wrong (although I'd still tell her to get over it - that depends on your relationship with mom).

[Butter]

Wife can pick up your mom. You have a life now, and can't cater to her every whim even if she likes laying on the guilt trip for her own amusement.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

How old are you/how long have you been married?

I suspect you should tell your mom to get over it and you'll see her at home, but if you're only like JUST married and still young then maybe your mom is SLIGHTLY less wrong (although I'd still tell her to get over it - that depends on your relationship with mom).

DT pretty much hits it here I think. Barring some odd situations (like what he describes or some sort of big animosity between your mom & your wife) then I'd honestly say Mom is being high maintenance & sorta needs to get over herself a little bit.

It's a ride from the airport to your house for cryin' out loud, it's not like you found out she was coming & booked yourself on the first tramp steamer to Hong Kong.

edit to add: oops, didn't even notice the comment about how they get along fine. Unless your wife is a notoriously crappy dangerous driver then yeah, go play the match.

[jeff061]

Yeah, I think I'd strand my mom at the airport if I got any attitude in that situation.

I'm not a very nice guy though.

[TroyF]

Originally Posted by grdawg

So this is really stupid, but I was wondering what people thought. I play on a neighborhood doubles tennis team, since it is spring break we don't have a lot of guys available to play. I am scheduled to play at 10:30 on Saturday morning. My mother is coming into town and was supposed to come in on Sunday, but changed her flight to arrive on Saturday at 10AM. I tried to change the time of the match, but I can't. My wife volunteered to pick up my mom at the airport and feels its no big deal. My mom seemed pissed at me when I told her this. Should I ask that they try to find someone to play in my place so i can pick her up or having my wife pick her up is fine? My wife and mother do get along fine.

Tell her to get a C Section and deal with it!!!

Sorry, wrong thread. I need more information. Is your mom the type of person who will hold this over your head for her entire trip, making smart ass comments like "I'm glad someone cares" when your wife brings her a glass of water?

If she's that way, I'd suggest you cancel tennis and go pick her up, because that could just get ugly and make for a horrible week. If she's the type to get over it after a few hours, I'd have the wife pick her up. It is your life and it isn't exactly a huge deal missing a couple of hours of the visit.

[grdawg]

Thanks, I'm upper 30s been married almost 8 years, they have a good relationship, but my mom probably figures I should drop everything to pick her up since I don't see her that much and she is high maintenance. She probably wanted that car ride time to talk to me without the wife and kids around. I feel I made a commitment and I really enjoy playing. I asked my wife if she thought I should cancel and she said no, her point was that she is basically an extension of me and should be no issue with picking her up.
I'm sure I'll get the old, your mother won't be around much longer guilt over this.

[Solecismic]

My wife has an interesting sense of humor. Just a few months after we started dating, her mom was coming into the area for a visit. We had met once before. My wife asked me to go alone and pick her up at the train station. I was reluctant at first, but she assured me that everyone would find that hilarious. It was a good ice-breaker for having another hour or so to get to know her mom.

I would take your wife's advice on this. If she's still comfortable going, knowing how your mom feels about it, it will work out OK.

[Vince, Pt. II]

I'll echo Jim here, get the wife's opinion and follow that. Happy wife, and all. That being said, if your mom wants some alone time, offer to take her out to lunch afterward to make up for it. She'll get her alone time with you, you "make it up to her" with an easy fix.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Vince, Pt. II

I'll echo Jim here, get the wife's opinion and follow that. Happy wife, and all. That being said, if your mom wants some alone time, offer to take her out to lunch afterward to make up for it. She'll get her alone time with you, you "make it up to her" with an easy fix.

The lunch idea is a great one.

[Mizzou B-ball fan]

Tell mom to go lick a goat.

[Chief Rum]

Curious, but why did your mom change her flight from Sunday to Saturday? That seemed to create the problem. Was it a necessary change?

[grdawg]

Originally Posted by Vince, Pt. II

That being said, if your mom wants some alone time, offer to take her out to lunch afterward to make up for it. She'll get her alone time with you, you "make it up to her" with an easy fix.

Great idea, I'll do that.

[Lathum]

Your mom needs to grow up. It's a power play. Show her you're and adult.

[grdawg]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Curious, but why did your mom change her flight from Sunday to Saturday? That seemed to create the problem. Was it a necessary change?

She looked at the weather forecast yesterday and saw possible heavy rain on Sunday so was worried she'd be delayed and begged the airline to allow her to change it for free which they did. I swear she should rent herself out to help people avoid fees. I think the heavy rain is not going to come until Sunday night, but she didn't ask me ahead of time, just changed it and then told me. It would have been nice had she called me before doing that so I could of told her to ask for a later flight. Of course had she been coming in all along on Saturday, I would have never put down that I was available to play.

[Critch]

Tell her nobody will be picking her up at the airport as her visit is canceled.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Critch

Tell her nobody will be picking her up at the airport as her visit is canceled.

Or just remind her that when she's old and infirm you have the power to decide what assisted care facility she ends up in, so she better cool it with the demands. (we do that all the time with my folks, but our family has a...unique sense of humor, so we all get that it's not a threat)

[stevew]

Maybe she has something bad to tell you? Otherwise, cab fare.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Critch

Tell her nobody will be picking her up at the airport as her visit is canceled.

Not bad, not bad at all.

[Desnudo]

Tell her you're usually two martinis deep at that point and shouldn't be driving

[Alan T]

This is totally a culture thing I think. I personally agree with what almost everyone in this thread is saying. My wife's mom though if you didn't drop everything for would be seen as an insult to like ten generations of the family and I likely would end up with all kinds of angry in laws.

[grdawg]

My mom ended up being fine, my wife got her no problems and I won my tennis match. She didn't seem upset at all and I told her we can do lunch sometime during the week.