How can I beat Sean Payton?

Senator · 07-14-2012, 02:32 PM

It looks like the coach is keeping busy. The teams we head coach will play each other at 8pm this Monday in a 7 on 7 tourney.

I guess he coaches his son's team.

No blitzing allowed, so I can expect late hits across the middle?

Flasch186 · 07-14-2012, 02:33 PM

go after his leg.

Cap Ologist · 07-14-2012, 02:34 PM

Open the 2nd half with an onside kick.

Easy Mac · 07-14-2012, 02:35 PM

I'll give a kid $5000 if he takes him out. That's allowed, righ?

JonInMiddleGA · 07-14-2012, 02:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Easy Mac

I'll give a kid $5000 if he takes him out. That's allowed, righ?

As long as you lie badly about it afterwards, I don't see how anything could go wrong.

M GO BLUE!!! · 07-14-2012, 02:40 PM

Just make sure the 5'5" QB he has isn't actually Brees.

Thomkal · 07-14-2012, 02:44 PM

Better hope Jonathan Vilma isn't trying to keep in football shape...

Poli · 07-14-2012, 02:47 PM

I had a flag game against Aeneas Williams's kid earlier this year. That went well.

stevew · 07-14-2012, 03:18 PM

I'm sure he won't be fazed if you start screaming at your players to kill the fucking head and take out the knees.

Senator · 07-14-2012, 05:20 PM

All answers on this thread deserve an A.

sterlingice · 07-14-2012, 08:01 PM

Offer better bounties than he does

SI

stevew · 07-14-2012, 08:10 PM

You should find a way to prominently display some bounty paper towels.

Julio Riddols · 07-14-2012, 08:22 PM

Have someone make up a huge sign in gold and black that says GO STAINS, with a fleur de lis on it.

DaddyTorgo · 07-14-2012, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julio Riddols

Have someone make up a huge sign in gold and black that says GO STAINS, with a fleur de lis on it.

This

JPhillips · 07-14-2012, 08:38 PM

Print that.

Cut out the eyes.

Attach a string.

Wear it as a mask.

Raiders Army · 07-14-2012, 09:49 PM

While Jerry Sandusky's appealing, try to get him out of jail and coach your team. He does need to do some community service, no?

M GO BLUE!!! · 07-14-2012, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Raiders Army

While Jerry Sandusky's appealing...

You find Jerry Sandusky appealing? Sick bastard.

bronconick · 07-14-2012, 10:03 PM

Run this play.

sterlingice · 07-14-2012, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

You find Jerry Sandusky appealing? Sick bastard.

If Jerry Sandusky had gone after people who had found him appealing, Penn State wouldn't be in this predicament. Hi-Yo!

SI

tarcone · 07-14-2012, 11:39 PM

I really like the idea of the Bounty paper towels. Buy all the parents a roll and have them hold them up throughout the game.

Critch · 07-14-2012, 11:44 PM

Assuming you get to shake his hand after the game, make sure you get your hand between your sweaty asscheeks in advance. Then whenever you see him on tv you can smile to yourself about the time you stinkpalmed him.

Senator · 07-14-2012, 11:54 PM

Ought to be fun watching douche dads try to buddy up to him.

PilotMan · 07-15-2012, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Critch

Assuming you get to shake his hand after the game, make sure you get your hand between your sweaty asscheeks in advance. Then whenever you see him on tv you can smile to yourself about the time you stinkpalmed him.

+1, omg, this!

INDalltheway · 07-15-2012, 12:45 AM

Stinkpalmed - that is fucking hilarious and genius. Made me cackle like a little girl after a long night in the world of retail!

Matthean · 07-15-2012, 12:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Critch

Assuming you get to shake his hand after the game, make sure you get your hand between your sweaty asscheeks in advance. Then whenever you see him on tv you can smile to yourself about the time you stinkpalmed him.

And then get a photo of you two.

Peregrine · 07-15-2012, 07:35 AM

Whether you win or lose, as you're shaking hands make sure to say that you could outcoach him any day of the week.

Logan · 07-15-2012, 08:23 AM

Hire an attractive blonde, a DJ, and some lighting guys...if history repeats itself, he'll be too distracted bumping and grinding to coach.

Poli · 07-15-2012, 08:33 AM

Film his practices.

Senator · 07-15-2012, 10:01 AM

I wanted to ask him after saying, "three claps" if I was a faceless opponent.

Just found out that before I took over the team we lost to them 70-7. Maybe I better just shut up and coach.

M GO BLUE!!! · 07-15-2012, 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Critch

Assuming you get to shake his hand after the game, make sure you get your hand between your sweaty asscheeks in advance. Then whenever you see him on tv you can smile to yourself about the time you stinkpalmed him.

This is beautiful, but does it count if Payton had just had his hand in the crack of his own sweaty ass, then looks at you as the sap he just stinkpalmed?

They may cancel each other out, but rather than making him think "why does my hand smell like ass?" he simply washes it thinking he got you good. Then you walk around with the sweat of two male asses intermingling on your hand. Perhaps one or both had not done as thorough a job in the wiping department either.

This is a road you may want to consider never taking, my friend. Unless you really feel the need.

Julio Riddols · 07-15-2012, 11:30 PM

That's when you go for the pissy stinkpalm. One up that bastard.

MacroGuru · 07-16-2012, 12:30 AM

DougW · 07-16-2012, 12:52 AM

This thread is gold.

M GO BLUE!!! · 07-16-2012, 02:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Julio Riddols

That's when you go for the pissy stinkpalm. One up that bastard.

I initially read a different vowel in your stake raiser. I think I liked what I read better.

Julio Riddols · 07-16-2012, 08:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I initially read a different vowel in your stake raiser. I think I liked what I read better.

I guess, given enough time, one could cultivate some very pussy pimples..

Senator · 07-16-2012, 10:45 PM

Won the first game 19-13 and then played him. Parents were saying just don't let a 70-7 game happen again. We lost 54-38.

After we shook hands, I admit I smelled my hand, and sure enough, the smell was atrocious.

M GO BLUE!!! · 07-16-2012, 10:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senator

Won the first game 19-13 and then played him. Parents were saying just don't let a 70-7 game happen again. We lost 54-38.

After we shook hands, I admit I smelled my hand, and sure enough, the smell was atrocious.

Shkspr · 07-16-2012, 11:30 PM

The only annoying thing is that now you have to root for him to be a head coach once more so that any time his team wins a game by 17 points you can drunkenly shout at the TV, "Hell, give me a bunch of children and I could coach a team closer than that!"

Senator · 07-17-2012, 07:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shkspr

The only annoying thing is that now you have to root for him to be a head coach once more so that any time his team wins a game by 17 points you can drunkenly shout at the TV, "Hell, give me a bunch of children and I could coach a team closer than that!"

I am determined that this is not a moment to continually dwell on.

Danny · 07-17-2012, 08:01 AM

Little did you know that payton viewed this thread as a guest and decided to give you the pissy pussy stinkpalm

M GO BLUE!!! · 07-17-2012, 01:33 PM

Watch Schwartz's mouth. He clearly says "Did you stinkpalm me?"

cartman · 01-07-2015, 04:04 PM

Someone solved the riddle.

The Pop Warner Offense That Confounded Sean Payton, and What It Says About Offensive Innovation in the NFL «

07-14-2012, 02:33 PM	#2
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	go after his leg. __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

07-14-2012, 02:47 PM	#8
Poli FOFC Survivor Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Wentzville, MO	I had a flag game against Aeneas Williams's kid earlier this year. That went well. __________________ Cheer for a walk on quarterback! Ardent leads the Vols in the dynasty forum. Last edited by Poli : 07-14-2012 at 02:48 PM.

07-14-2012, 05:20 PM	#10
Senator FOFC's Elected Representative Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The stars at night; are big and bright	All answers on this thread deserve an A. __________________ "i have seen chris simms play 4-5 times in the pros and he's very clearly got it. he won't make a pro bowl this year, but it'll come. if you don't like me saying that, so be it, but its true. we'll just have to wait until then" imettrentgreen "looking at only ten games, and oddly using a median only, leaves me unmoved generally" - Quiksand

07-14-2012, 08:01 PM	#11
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	Offer better bounties than he does SI __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

07-14-2012, 08:22 PM	#13
Julio Riddols College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bryson Shitty, NC	Have someone make up a huge sign in gold and black that says GO STAINS, with a fleur de lis on it. __________________ Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused. FUCK EA

07-14-2012, 02:34 PM	#3
Cap Ologist College Prospect Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Flower Mound, TX	Open the 2nd half with an onside kick.

07-14-2012, 02:35 PM	#4
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	I'll give a kid $5000 if he takes him out. That's allowed, righ?

07-14-2012, 02:40 PM	#6
M GO BLUE!!! Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2005	Just make sure the 5'5" QB he has isn't actually Brees.

07-14-2012, 02:44 PM	#7
Thomkal Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Surfside Beach,SC USA	Better hope Jonathan Vilma isn't trying to keep in football shape...

07-14-2012, 03:18 PM	#9
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	I'm sure he won't be fazed if you start screaming at your players to kill the fucking head and take out the knees.

07-14-2012, 08:10 PM	#12
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	You should find a way to prominently display some bounty paper towels.

07-14-2012, 08:38 PM	#15
JPhillips Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Newburgh, NY	Print that. Cut out the eyes. Attach a string. Wear it as a mask. __________________ To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers

07-14-2012, 09:49 PM	#16
Raiders Army Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Black Hole	While Jerry Sandusky's appealing, try to get him out of jail and coach your team. He does need to do some community service, no?

07-14-2012, 10:03 PM	#18
bronconick College Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Kalamazoo, MI	Run this play.

07-14-2012, 11:39 PM	#20
tarcone Coordinator Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Pacific	I really like the idea of the Bounty paper towels. Buy all the parents a roll and have them hold them up throughout the game.

07-14-2012, 11:44 PM	#21
Critch lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Herndon, VA	Assuming you get to shake his hand after the game, make sure you get your hand between your sweaty asscheeks in advance. Then whenever you see him on tv you can smile to yourself about the time you stinkpalmed him.

07-14-2012, 11:54 PM	#22
Senator FOFC's Elected Representative Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The stars at night; are big and bright	Ought to be fun watching douche dads try to buddy up to him. __________________ "i have seen chris simms play 4-5 times in the pros and he's very clearly got it. he won't make a pro bowl this year, but it'll come. if you don't like me saying that, so be it, but its true. we'll just have to wait until then" imettrentgreen "looking at only ten games, and oddly using a median only, leaves me unmoved generally" - Quiksand

07-15-2012, 12:45 AM	#24
INDalltheway College Benchwarmer Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Chicago	Stinkpalmed - that is fucking hilarious and genius. Made me cackle like a little girl after a long night in the world of retail!

07-15-2012, 07:35 AM	#26
Peregrine Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: Cary, NC	Whether you win or lose, as you're shaking hands make sure to say that you could outcoach him any day of the week.

07-15-2012, 08:23 AM	#27
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	Hire an attractive blonde, a DJ, and some lighting guys...if history repeats itself, he'll be too distracted bumping and grinding to coach.

07-15-2012, 08:33 AM	#28
Poli FOFC Survivor Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Wentzville, MO	Film his practices. __________________ Cheer for a walk on quarterback! Ardent leads the Vols in the dynasty forum.

07-15-2012, 10:01 AM	#29
Senator FOFC's Elected Representative Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The stars at night; are big and bright	I wanted to ask him after saying, "three claps" if I was a faceless opponent. Just found out that before I took over the team we lost to them 70-7. Maybe I better just shut up and coach. __________________ "i have seen chris simms play 4-5 times in the pros and he's very clearly got it. he won't make a pro bowl this year, but it'll come. if you don't like me saying that, so be it, but its true. we'll just have to wait until then" imettrentgreen "looking at only ten games, and oddly using a median only, leaves me unmoved generally" - Quiksand Last edited by Senator : 07-16-2012 at 10:46 PM. Reason: wrong score

07-15-2012, 11:30 PM	#31
Julio Riddols College Prospect Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Bryson Shitty, NC	That's when you go for the pissy stinkpalm. One up that bastard. __________________ Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused. FUCK EA

07-16-2012, 12:30 AM	#32
MacroGuru Coordinator Join Date: May 2003 Location: Utah	__________________ "forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future"

07-16-2012, 12:52 AM	#33
DougW High School Varsity Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Downriver, MI	This thread is gold.

07-16-2012, 10:45 PM	#36
Senator FOFC's Elected Representative Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The stars at night; are big and bright	Won the first game 19-13 and then played him. Parents were saying just don't let a 70-7 game happen again. We lost 54-38. After we shook hands, I admit I smelled my hand, and sure enough, the smell was atrocious. __________________ "i have seen chris simms play 4-5 times in the pros and he's very clearly got it. he won't make a pro bowl this year, but it'll come. if you don't like me saying that, so be it, but its true. we'll just have to wait until then" imettrentgreen "looking at only ten games, and oddly using a median only, leaves me unmoved generally" - Quiksand

07-16-2012, 11:30 PM	#38
Shkspr College Benchwarmer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Amarillo, TX	The only annoying thing is that now you have to root for him to be a head coach once more so that any time his team wins a game by 17 points you can drunkenly shout at the TV, "Hell, give me a bunch of children and I could coach a team closer than that!"

07-17-2012, 08:01 AM	#40
Danny Head Coach Join Date: Jul 2001	Little did you know that payton viewed this thread as a guest and decided to give you the pissy pussy stinkpalm

07-17-2012, 01:33 PM	#41
M GO BLUE!!! Pro Starter Join Date: Sep 2005	Watch Schwartz's mouth. He clearly says "Did you stinkpalm me?"

01-07-2015, 04:04 PM	#42
cartman Death Herald Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas	Someone solved the riddle. The Pop Warner Offense That Confounded Sean Payton, and What It Says About Offensive Innovation in the NFL « __________________ Thinkin' of a master plan 'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint

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