is it rude to....

Landshark44 · 10-03-2015, 06:06 PM

bring a bottle of scotch to a wedding reception if the reception only offers beer and wine....?

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow, and while I certainly "could" drink beer all day, I'd rather drink scotch....

I can't bring enough for everyone, and I don't want to offend

JonInMiddleGA · 10-03-2015, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Landshark44

bring a bottle of scotch to a wedding reception if the reception only offers beer and wine....?

I'm going to a wedding tomorrow, and while I certainly "could" drink beer all day, I'd rather drink scotch....

I can't bring enough for everyone, and I don't want to offend

Flask time I think.

Landshark44 · 10-03-2015, 06:29 PM

definitely... but even that may be rude, i think..

JonInMiddleGA · 10-03-2015, 06:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Landshark44

definitely... but even that may be rude, i think..

If you exercise an appropriate amount of discretion ...

dubb93 · 10-03-2015, 06:34 PM

You could always bring a bottle for the bride and groom and then a bottle for yourself. Have them do a small toast with it and then go to town from there.

Marc Vaughan · 10-04-2015, 04:49 AM

Hip flask and drink coke and top it up ...

Landshark44 · 10-04-2015, 07:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dubb93

You could always bring a bottle for the bride and groom and then a bottle for yourself. Have them do a small toast with it and then go to town from there.

i like this idea....

Flasch186 · 10-04-2015, 07:32 AM

Flask

QuikSand · 10-04-2015, 07:39 AM

i feel like someone should step in and say "yes, this is rude" and I'll try to do so without it sounding like "get off my lawn."

i don't feel it's a tragic thing, but if you pack a flask and get outwardly affected, you will be "that guy" at an event that is, by design, something people want to remember for their whole lives.

I also don't think it's necessarily out of bounds, but I do think it's rude. Depending on the nature of your relationship to the couple, it could be all in fun.

For most people whose wedding I would attend, at this stage in my life, I would have enough respect to defer to their rules for one afternoon/evening. Just seems like a matter of maturity. I likely would have responded differently in my twenties, though.

Autumn · 10-04-2015, 07:54 AM

Yeah, I'm with Quik. If you can't bring enough for everyone, then just deal with what is being served. I had my wedding at a state park area where no alcohol was allowed, and I remember thinking my best man bitching about this was annoying. It's not like a party being throw for your benefit, you go with what the wedding couple wants/has.

dzilla77 · 10-04-2015, 11:40 AM

If it were a dry wedding, I'd would definitely agree with Quick and Autumn, but given that they are serving, I don't think its that big of a deal. If going the flask route, discretion is appropriate though.

And if anybody says anything, claim you are on a low carb diet. :-)

PilotMan · 10-04-2015, 11:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dzilla77

If it were a dry wedding, I'd would definitely agree with Quick and Autumn, but given that they are serving, I don't think its that big of a deal. If going the flask route, discretion is appropriate though.

And if anybody says anything, claim you are on a low carb diet. :-)

I'm on board with this advice.

albionmoonlight · 10-04-2015, 03:58 PM

I'm probably too late with this, but ask yourself, "If either the bride or the groom found out, would they be offended?" That seems to be the more relevant question than whether it is rude in the abstract.

And, if the answer to that question is either "yes" or "I'm not sure" then don't do it.

korme · 10-04-2015, 05:15 PM

I don't see the problem here.

flere-imsaho · 10-05-2015, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Flask time I think.

I don't often agree with Jon, but when I do....

Marmel · 10-05-2015, 10:45 AM

Quik put it perfectly. Nothing more to add.

muns · 10-05-2015, 10:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

I'm probably too late with this, but ask yourself, "If either the bride or the groom found out, would they be offended?" That seems to be the more relevant question than whether it is rude in the abstract.

And, if the answer to that question is either "yes" or "I'm not sure" then don't do it.

It's been my experience that "cost" is the reason weddings go with the beer and wine route, rather than the hard stuff. So if someone has a flask I wouldn't look at it as a problem. Just my thoughts though.

Logan · 10-05-2015, 10:51 AM

I think it's offensive to bring booze to a dry wedding, because there could be a bunch of reasons (some good, some bad) that they made that choice. But I'm guessing 99 times out of 100 beer/wine only is done because of either a) cost or b) venue rules, so I don't see how you're really insulting/offending anyone by bringing liquor for yourself. I wouldn't bring a bottle, but would go flask as others said.

Mizzou B-ball fan · 10-05-2015, 11:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by muns

It's been my experience that "cost" is the reason weddings go with the beer and wine route, rather than the hard stuff. So if someone has a flask I wouldn't look at it as a problem. Just my thoughts though.

You'd be surprised. Alcohol usually isn't that much more expensive in a package.

I'd say at our location (done about 300 weddings over the last 5 years), 80% of the people who choose to avoid serving alcohol do it because they have too many people in their party that don't know when to say when, so they serve drinks with lower alcohol percentages in the hopes that it will take those people a lot longer to get there.

Pushing aside the 'rude or not rude' argument, the reason why most venues don't allow outside alcohol is because of the liability of it. If you're drinking out of a flask at a wedding and end up with a DUI or, God forbid, kill someone in an accident, my insurance and my property is the first option for that family to receive damages even though I wasn't even serving you. It's my responsibility because I hosted the party and you drank it on my site.

Perfect example was a couple of years ago. We had a wedding around 6:00 pm. They finished up and came back in for the reception. At 7:15 pm, I saw two groomsmen carrying the groom out of the front door. He had passed out literally an hour into the wedding. The bride was right on their heels, yelling at the unconscious groom for ruining her wedding. I was puzzled. We had only served the guy one beer all day long. As we later found out, he had a flask that he had gone through a couple of times over. I called the ambulance and had him taken to the hospital immediately, because I didn't want him dying on my watch while his 'friends' wanted him to sleep it off. If he died, I had a huge problem on my hands despite it not being my fault.

I guess it just depends on which side of the fence you're standing.

flere-imsaho · 10-05-2015, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mizzou B-ball fan

You'd be surprised. Alcohol usually isn't that much more expensive in a package.

I could also see people not doing hard alcohol because they can't decide what to offer. When we got married we decided to limit the options (besides beer & wine) to gin & vodka. But I'm sure the less decisive could have issues and end up saying "fuck it, beer and wine only".

JonInMiddleGA · 10-05-2015, 02:46 PM

Hey, if you REALLY want to boil it down to what I think / how I see this sort of thing ... I honestly ask myself why the hell I'd spend X amount of hours there if a flask was significant to my happiness/enjoyment.

In my case the much more relevant issue would be nicotine rather than alcohol which could account for why I either take a pass or opt for relatively brief appearances at this kind of stuff. Simply put, I'd rather be elsewhere with a smoke than just about anywhere without one.

flere-imsaho · 10-05-2015, 02:48 PM

Some people believe in social obligations, Jon. I know you don't, but I know you know some people do.

stevew · 10-05-2015, 02:55 PM

Is it possible this was only a beer/wine venue? Some states have really screwy rules

stevew · 10-05-2015, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mizzou B-ball fan

You'd be surprised. Alcohol usually isn't that much more expensive in a package.

I'd say at our location (done about 300 weddings over the last 5 years), 80% of the people who choose to avoid serving alcohol do it because they have too many people in their party that don't know when to say when, so they serve drinks with lower alcohol percentages in the hopes that it will take those people a lot longer to get there.

Pushing aside the 'rude or not rude' argument, the reason why most venues don't allow outside alcohol is because of the liability of it. If you're drinking out of a flask at a wedding and end up with a DUI or, God forbid, kill someone in an accident, my insurance and my property is the first option for that family to receive damages even though I wasn't even serving you. It's my responsibility because I hosted the party and you drank it on my site.

Perfect example was a couple of years ago. We had a wedding around 6:00 pm. They finished up and came back in for the reception. At 7:15 pm, I saw two groomsmen carrying the groom out of the front door. He had passed out literally an hour into the wedding. The bride was right on their heels, yelling at the unconscious groom for ruining her wedding. I was puzzled. We had only served the guy one beer all day long. As we later found out, he had a flask that he had gone through a couple of times over. I called the ambulance and had him taken to the hospital immediately, because I didn't want him dying on my watch while his 'friends' wanted him to sleep it off. If he died, I had a huge problem on my hands despite it not being my fault.

I guess it just depends on which side of the fence you're standing.

You forgot to slip her your card for her divorce party/2nd wedding

BishopMVP · 10-05-2015, 03:11 PM

I've even seen it done at open bars where a guest will bring a specific bottle for the bar, but those did have other liquor choices. I'd probably err on the side of caution by using a flask if it's wine & beer only in case they are trying to surreptitiously keep certain people from drinking too heavily, but I'll disagree with Quik and say I can't imagine they'd have a problem with a flask if you don't make it obvious or get sloppy(er than others). Obviously hard liquor is easier to abuse, but if you have the experience and self-control to know your limits and prefer to get a little buzzed off a glass or two of nice scotch instead of 6-8 beers why would anyone care? If it was a non-alcoholic event I would skip the flask, assuming either it's out of respect for someone who struggles around alcohol or some sort of venue restriction.

Plus if someone calls you out I guess you could just claim to be gluten intolerant.

JonInMiddleGA · 10-05-2015, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flere-imsaho

Some people believe in social obligations, Jon. I know you don't, but I know you know some people do.

You have correctly assessed where on the scale of things I give a shit about those fall

Alf · 10-06-2015, 06:18 AM

inquiring minds want to know

nilodor · 10-06-2015, 03:33 PM

May also violate their liquor license. I know for my wedding, where we supplied wine, beer and the standard hard stuff, under law we were obligated to control all liquor distribution. While I don't think a flask would be an issue in this situation, having a bottle sitting around may be.

Landshark44 · 10-06-2015, 07:19 PM

Thanks for all the input...

I went to the wedding, didn't bring the bottle..

Wish I would have.. I don't think anyone would have cared...

10-04-2015, 07:32 AM	#8
Flasch186 Coordinator Join Date: May 2002 Location: Jacksonville, FL	Flask __________________ Jacksonville-florida-homes-for-sale Putting a New Spin on Real Estate! ----------------------------------------------------------- Commissioner of the USFL USFL

10-05-2015, 10:45 AM	#16
Marmel Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Manchester, CT	Quik put it perfectly. Nothing more to add. __________________ 81-78 Cincinnati basketball writer P. Daugherty, "Connor Barwin playing several minutes against Syracuse is like kids with slingshots taking down Caesar's legions."

10-05-2015, 02:46 PM	#21
JonInMiddleGA Hall Of Famer Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: Behind Enemy Lines in Athens, GA	Hey, if you REALLY want to boil it down to what I think / how I see this sort of thing ... I honestly ask myself why the hell I'd spend X amount of hours there if a flask was significant to my happiness/enjoyment. In my case the much more relevant issue would be nicotine rather than alcohol which could account for why I either take a pass or opt for relatively brief appearances at this kind of stuff. Simply put, I'd rather be elsewhere with a smoke than just about anywhere without one. __________________ "I lit another cigarette. Unless I specifically inform you to the contrary, I am always lighting another cigarette." - from a novel by Martin Amis

10-05-2015, 02:48 PM	#22
flere-imsaho Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Chicagoland	Some people believe in social obligations, Jon. I know you don't, but I know you know some people do. Last edited by flere-imsaho : 10-05-2015 at 02:48 PM.

10-06-2015, 06:18 AM	#27
Alf Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Rennes, France	inquiring minds want to know __________________ FOFL - GML - IHOF - FranceStats

10-03-2015, 06:29 PM	#3
Landshark44 High School Varsity Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Atlantic City, NJ	definitely... but even that may be rude, i think..

10-04-2015, 04:49 AM	#6
Marc Vaughan SI Games Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Melbourne, FL	Hip flask and drink coke and top it up ...

10-04-2015, 07:39 AM	#9
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	i feel like someone should step in and say "yes, this is rude" and I'll try to do so without it sounding like "get off my lawn." i don't feel it's a tragic thing, but if you pack a flask and get outwardly affected, you will be "that guy" at an event that is, by design, something people want to remember for their whole lives. I also don't think it's necessarily out of bounds, but I do think it's rude. Depending on the nature of your relationship to the couple, it could be all in fun. For most people whose wedding I would attend, at this stage in my life, I would have enough respect to defer to their rules for one afternoon/evening. Just seems like a matter of maturity. I likely would have responded differently in my twenties, though.

10-04-2015, 07:54 AM	#10
Autumn Head Coach Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Bath, ME	Yeah, I'm with Quik. If you can't bring enough for everyone, then just deal with what is being served. I had my wedding at a state park area where no alcohol was allowed, and I remember thinking my best man bitching about this was annoying. It's not like a party being throw for your benefit, you go with what the wedding couple wants/has.

10-04-2015, 11:40 AM	#11
dzilla77 High School Varsity Join Date: May 2011	If it were a dry wedding, I'd would definitely agree with Quick and Autumn, but given that they are serving, I don't think its that big of a deal. If going the flask route, discretion is appropriate though. And if anybody says anything, claim you are on a low carb diet. :-)

10-04-2015, 03:58 PM	#13
albionmoonlight Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	I'm probably too late with this, but ask yourself, "If either the bride or the groom found out, would they be offended?" That seems to be the more relevant question than whether it is rude in the abstract. And, if the answer to that question is either "yes" or "I'm not sure" then don't do it.

10-04-2015, 05:15 PM	#14
korme Go Reds Join Date: May 2001 Location: Bloodbuzz Ohio	I don't see the problem here.

10-05-2015, 10:51 AM	#18
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	I think it's offensive to bring booze to a dry wedding, because there could be a bunch of reasons (some good, some bad) that they made that choice. But I'm guessing 99 times out of 100 beer/wine only is done because of either a) cost or b) venue rules, so I don't see how you're really insulting/offending anyone by bringing liquor for yourself. I wouldn't bring a bottle, but would go flask as others said.

10-05-2015, 02:55 PM	#23
stevew Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: the yo'	Is it possible this was only a beer/wine venue? Some states have really screwy rules

10-05-2015, 03:11 PM	#25
BishopMVP Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Concord, MA/UMass	I've even seen it done at open bars where a guest will bring a specific bottle for the bar, but those did have other liquor choices. I'd probably err on the side of caution by using a flask if it's wine & beer only in case they are trying to surreptitiously keep certain people from drinking too heavily, but I'll disagree with Quik and say I can't imagine they'd have a problem with a flask if you don't make it obvious or get sloppy(er than others). Obviously hard liquor is easier to abuse, but if you have the experience and self-control to know your limits and prefer to get a little buzzed off a glass or two of nice scotch instead of 6-8 beers why would anyone care? If it was a non-alcoholic event I would skip the flask, assuming either it's out of respect for someone who struggles around alcohol or some sort of venue restriction. Plus if someone calls you out I guess you could just claim to be gluten intolerant.

10-06-2015, 03:33 PM	#28
nilodor College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: calgary, AB	May also violate their liquor license. I know for my wedding, where we supplied wine, beer and the standard hard stuff, under law we were obligated to control all liquor distribution. While I don't think a flask would be an issue in this situation, having a bottle sitting around may be.

10-06-2015, 07:19 PM	#29
Landshark44 High School Varsity Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Atlantic City, NJ	Thanks for all the input... I went to the wedding, didn't bring the bottle.. Wish I would have.. I don't think anyone would have cared...

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