Level 23: Keymer & Hassocks (FM 16)

[Young Drachma]

Originally Posted by law90026

Personally I've never been amazing at coming up with my own strategies for FM. I prefer to find a tactic on the SI forums and just plug-and-play and let my role be about finding the right players to fit the system and managing morale.

Same.

[Izulde]

Okay, so we're not alone. That said, I have made tweaks myself, and outright told the staff to go fuck itself with a couple of suggestions.

Once we have it sorted out one way or another how we'll place, I'll go through my usual purge. I hate having large rosters. Since we've made so many recent additions, we'll once again skip the transfer deadline.

Our point requirements are down to just 3, so a win or three draws would do it.

@ Ellesmere (7th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Matty Jones/Alex Brough/Lee Hunter/James Hammond
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Jay Brumpton/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Jamie O'Brien

41 - Jones with the throw-in to Lofthouse. Cross-field pass to Peltier preludes a powerball down the middle of the pitch for Kalonji. The daring strike from 25 yards out hits the net to *finally* give him his first March Hares goal. 1-0

52 - Warrington for Hunter; Hooper for O'Brien

59 - Jones with a smooth interception and pass to Hooper. Short pass to Kalonji, and the shot is body blocked and bounces off to the side. Kalonji stays with it though, tracking the ball down and firing in a second time. This one's good, and he's doubled his Hares goals in one game! 2-0

8.0 for Anthony Peltier and of course 8.8 for PotM Michael Kalonji, who has DR of Congo bloodlines, stepping up with his best game when we needed it most.

WE'RE GOING UP TO EASTERN DIVISION ONE!!!!!

In the title writeup, the author notes "adds to the growing list of accomplishments in an already impressive coaching career." Granted, those successes have mostly been with amateur teams, or all of them, if you count that Woodley Town failed to promote after I got them within striking distance, but still.

Listing only the senior team members because I'm lazy:

Goalkeeper
Kyle Greening (19) (Wales) - 1.5/3
Mark Blackman (18) - 1.5/4

Logically, Blackman should be the starter. But I love my tradition of non-English keepers I've established in this dynasty - in fact I don't think I've started a single English goalie except in cases of injuries. Obviously finding a new one to take the mantle is a major priority. In fact, I've never before won a title in FM with this low-rated a pair of keepers.

Defenders Left
Rafail Christoforou (24) (Cyprus) 0.5/1
Adam Male (26) - 2/2
Matty Jones (28) - 2.5/2.5
James Hammond (34) - 0.5/0.5

I like Jones and Male as depth guys. As starters at the next level, not at all. We really need a new impact player here, but we spent most of the year trying to find one and failed. Still an area of critical upgrade need.

Defenders Center
Alex Brough (23) - 2/2.5
Richard Warrington (21) - 2.5/4
Male - 0.5/0.5
Jordan Garner (28) - 2/2
Hammond - 1/1
Lee Hunter (22) - 3.5/4.5
Pascal Andrei Sorin (22) (Romania) - 0.5/1.5

I can totally build around Warrington and Hunter, and I love how Brough keeps outperforming his talent level. I feel like we're okay here long-term, but I wouldn't mind a more ready talent if I find one. Sorin is out.

Defenders Right
Glenn O'Hanlon (31) - 2.5/2.5
Christoforou - 1.5/2
Hammond - 4/4
Sorin - 0.5/0.5

Elite right now, but when the wall hits, we're left scrambling to replace Hammond. O'Hanlon has been fairly good, but a young guy to be the heir apparent is an emergency need for next season.

Midfielders Right
Anthony Peltier (19) (Trinidad & Tobago) - 2.5/4
Chris Bailey (23) - 0.5/2.5
O'Hanlon - 0.5/0.5

I think Peltier is being drastically underrated by my staff. He stopped scoring a lot of goals after we brought in better strikers, but every game he's putting up good numbers. Our top assists guy, and one I expect to stay with us for quite a while. We really need depth here, however.

Midfielders Center
Brough - 0.5/1.5
Bobby Lofthouse (29) - 0.5/0.5
O'Hanlon - 0.5/0.5
Niall Forrester (23) - 0.5/4
Jackson Idzi (20) (Wales) - 1/3
Tom Hooper (23) - 0.5/3.5
Anthony Wilson (24) - 1.5/2
Joseph Mensah (20) - 3.5/3.5
Jay Brumpton (24) - 2/3.5
Robert Paratore (28) (Australia) - 2/2
Joe Dymond (19) - 5 silver/3.5
Ross Ibertson (27) - 1/1

Lot of bodies here, but very little talent. Mensah is the only player I see sticking around more than a couple seasons, and I'd really like to find a truly great partner for him. A lot of cuts happening here. This has been the toughest position all season long for us to find talent for, and will be a primary focus over the summer.

Midfielders Left
Lofthouse - 2/2
Forrester - 2/5
Hooper - 1/4.5

Forrester needs to develop greater consistency. He was too hot and cold this season. Loved what Lofthouse did, but he's not a long-term solution. If I can find a more ready now talent, I'll definitely take it, but it'd need to be of the 3.5 variety.

Strikers
Elvis Menayese (26) (Wales) - 3/3
Jamie O'Brien (19) (Ireland) - 2/3
Hooper - 0.5/4.5
Michael Kalonji (21) - 2.5/4
Chez Heath (24) - 0.5/2.5
Christian Voss (22) - 0.5/2.5

Lot of belief that Hooper can be elite, and Kalonji is very, very promising. Overall, we're solid here, and you can expect Heath and Voss to be cut immediately, which they are. I'd love to find someone who's elite right now in the offseason.

A ton of people cut, and I send my scout out to literally go over every single fully non-English and partially English keeper who has declared for a non-English team.

Don't feel like playing out the last two games right now. Will do that tomorrow.

[Izulde]

vs Mettishall (Doesn't matter what position)
G: Mark Blackman
D: Matty Jones/Alex Brough/Lee Hunter/Rafail Christoforou
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Jay Brumpton/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Jamie O'Brien

12 - Mensah hits Brough on the corner for the score. 1-0

54 - Hooper for Kalonji; Forrester for Lofthouse

91 - Terrible header clearance by the defense is into space, and Hooper is there first to net the 1v1 with seconds to go. 2-0

Alex Brough's 7.4 is PotM worthy, and Tom Hooper tacked on a 7.0 with his late goal. With nothing to play for, we're just going through the motions.

Dersingham Rovers win the Sterry Cup for the second time.

As we play out the string, here's what the Hares' All-Time Best 11 looks like:



Needless to say I expect quite a few of this year's March Town United Hares team to crash that pitiful party.

vs Scole United (16th)
G: Mark Blackman
D: Matty Jones/Alex Brough/Lee Hunter/Rafail Christoforou
M: Niall Forrester/Jay Brumpton/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

31 - Piss poor free kick defense. 0-1

Lofthouse on for Forrester whilst Hooper replaces Menayese at half.

62 - Kalonji kicks back to Brumpton for the pass up to Hooper. Four defenders on him, so he threads the needle into the box where Kalonji waits to slam it home. 1-1

83 - The ball bounces off the defender and Kalonji gets there first for the escape pass to Lofthouse. On his way to running off the pitch, he crosses it to Peltier, who sinks the go-ahead goal. 2-1

PotM and 8.2 for Jay Brumpton, 7.8 for Anthony Peltier, and 7.2 bench showing by Bobby Lofthouse. A tale of two halves as they got their shit together after an awful first half. In particular, yelling at the defense made them snap back in the final 45.

Good thing we did, because 168 people came to the last match of the season. Hopefully we can convert some of those into season ticket holders next season, and greatly improve on our lousy 6 of this year.



The title was obviously a lot closer than it looked, and I think if we lose to Mulbarton Wanderers, this ends up looking much different. That was the real turning point of the year - it officially announced we were out of our midseason slump and were in control of our destiny.



Not pictured: Lee Hunter with 6.68 in 4 appearances.

So that shattered the previous March single game attendance record by a ton, as you can imagine. Cromer Town set a league average attendance record with 108.

I set up a tutoring link between Jomo Howell and James Hammond to improve Jomo's on-pitch game, so we'll see how that one goes.

Only Bobby Lofthouse breaks into the All-Time 11, probably due to appearances. That'll change over the coming years.



Anthony Peltier got a haircut, going from the Nerlens Noel flattop to the dreads. I'm terribly disappointed. I'm also stunned Elvis Menyaese only got 23% of the vote, and that Peltier won a majority. Not what I would have expected at all.

And then this bombshell hits:



I was not expecting that at *all*. Come on, man. You guys spent five years at the next level and never went semi-pro, and the minute you promote back up, you're converting?!

They come in with a lowball $2.1k one year deal and are only willing to go up to $2.5k, getting mad when I ask for $3.5k and cutting off negotiations.

I get them to re-open it, and eventually talk them up to $2.8k on a one year contract. That's peanuts compared to what I was making at Woodley Town ($7k) and Chelmsford ($15k), but I hope they'll show me the love after next season.

So none of my players are willing to sign written contracts due to the low amounts set by the board, but I work on inking the key ones to PPA deals. I also lock down all of my staff on 2 year deals ranging from $3.5k to $4.3k.

I also have a couple players coming on amateur deals that were issued prior to the semipro upgrade.

After I lock down Elvis Menyaese, Richard Warrington, Jay Brumpton, Niall Forrester, Michael Kalonji, Joseph Mensah, and Anthony Peltier, I still have a little over $99k in our original wage budget of $128k. That means both starting strikers, my entire starting midfield, and one of my starting central defenders are all committed to the club for next season.

[Izulde]

We doubled our bank income with a $10.76k profit. And those cheapasses only gave me $2.8k. Ridiculous.

Players who love playing for March
Anthony Peltier

Players who love me as their manager
None

Oh well, at least Peltier has love for the Hares.

Transfer In - DL Elliott Norman (24) (Welsh)
Elite potential (5*), but he's just 1* currently. I don't care that he's behind our other DL - with that upside, he's going to run out there every single game and work on developing into the star he's capable of being. $50 PPA.

Transfer In - GK Adam Potton (24)
My run of non-English keepers likely ends here. I hate to do it, but there's scrubs galore there, and Potton at 3/4.5* is so far ahead of the other netminders, I have to do it. Unless a miracle happens. Amateur contract FTW.

Transfer In - MC/AMC Dan Murrall (20)
3.5/4* and we just made a significant upgrade in our central midfield, allowing us to push one of the starters down to the subs. Jay Brumpton, IOW. Amateur contract FTW.

No miracle. I even give Bojan Tetek more PPA money than he's asking for, and he's still staying with Keymer & Hassocks. I similarly whiff on the other old players I try to bring with me. V.V. frustrating.

We set a new March average attendance record last season of 93. Have to go all the way back to 2017 to see the last high average of 86. Anthony Peltier also smashed the average rating record with 7.23, blowing out the 6.98 set by Joe Dymond.

Oh that reminds me. After semipro promotion, March Town United Hares carry a value of $65k. Average ticket price is a steal at $8, season tickets are $128.

28 games in Eastern Counties Division One and the top two teams get to go up. I don't think we're ready for that yet, but we'll see what happens. Last season's meeting, we said we'd shoot for mid-table.

My staff recommends the 4-2-3-1 Wide, the 4-4-1-1, or the 4-5-1. I was actually considering the 4-5-1, given our central midfielder pickups, so we'll see how that goes. Who they think is going to play AMC in either the 4-2-3-1 Wide or the 4-4-1-1 is beyond me. We'll keep the flat 4-4-2 we used last year as a backup, even though we never got to Accomplished with it.

Anthony Peltier gets a sports hernia and is out 6-7 weeks. That definitely sidelines him for at least the preseason, and fucks us because we have no adequate cover.

Transfer In - DLCR/DM/MLCR Ben Rowe (17)
Versatile player and a real bargain at just $35 p/a. Will be our starting MR until Anthony Peltier comes back, but might see time as our starting ML after that. Upside is limited though at 3.5*. He carried a $1k value before we snapped him up on a free transfer from his previous club.

The board is so thrilled with my management of the finances, they've upgraded the transfer budget payout to 35%. Uh, great. But it's kind of useless when no one's signed a written deal, you know?

Promotion Odds
Braintree Reserves - Team Bury - King's Lynn Reserves - Leiston Reserves: 1-4

March Town United Hares - Needham Market Reserves: 1-2

IOW, there's 6 teams viewed as contenders to promote this year. We happen to be one of them, and are pegged to finish 6th. Which would also be the best Hares showing in this universe.

Jordan Garner damages ligaments during friendly season and he's out 10-12 months. Not a crippling blow or anything, but still an impact to our depth.

We finish 3-2 in friendlies, and shoot me now if I have to go through that crap again. Fortunately, I find the setting to let my assman handle it, so I never, ever have to suffer through those boring games ever again.

[Izulde]

Niall Forrester retains his captaincy, with Adam Potton taking the vice-captaincy from Adam Brough, simply because I don't see Brough being a starter on this team anymore.

If we win the league, the board will divvy out a whopping $2k in bonuses amongst the whole team. Jeez, these are cheap bastards.

After playing the 4-5-1 all preseason, my assman says we should go back to the 4-4-2 and run the same basic setup we did last year. No shit, really? I hate the way the 4-5-1 plays anyway.

The board wants a top half finish in the league, and to at least get to the Quarterfinal of the Eastern Counties League Cup. No pressure or anything.

vs Team Bury
G: Adam Potton
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Lee Hunter/James Hammond
M: Ben Rowe/Daniel Murrall/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

10 - Hammond to Murrall to Peltier and in the box to Menaeyese for our first goal of the season. Murrall made a fantastic clearance to start the sequence, by the way, and impressed the hell out of me in friendlies with his long range shooting. 1-0

Rowe switches over to the right side, and Lofthouse comes in, giving Peltier a breather.

49 - Remember how it took forever for Kalonji to score his first goal with us last season? Not here, as Menayese hits him on the corner for the long header score. 2-0

59 - Brough in for Murrall and MC switch.

78 - Mensah wings it to Rowe right side, and the dribble and center connects with Kalonji for his second goal of the game! 3-0

Every full-time starter except Mensah, who had a 6.9, put up a 7 or better. Absolutely amazing performance by Adam Potton with 7.9, the best I've seen by a goalie yet in this universe. 7.7 for Lee Hunter, who I might finally pay now, 7.6 for Ben Rowe, who might become a personal favorite, 8.8 for Michael Kalonji, and 9.0 for Welsh still a star Elvis Menayese, Mr. PotM.

Fantastic statement win to open the year. That's our 6th league win a row, which breaks a team record. Lee Hunter raised his demands, the fucker, and he's insistent on being the highest paid player on the squad. GTFOH.

And fuck the supporters too, for only buying 6 season tickets again. Cheap ass bitches!

Okay, I'm disgruntled now. Break time while I ponder yelling at those jackass fans who won't pay out to support the Hares. Cheap board, cheap fans. If I wasn't so fucking determined to make this club balla as hell, I'd be looking for one where there's actually some damn support.

[Izulde]

By the way, after elevating the Hares to semipro status following that title, my reputation doubles from 5% to 10%.

@ Stowmarket (7th)
G: Adam Potton
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Lee Hunter/James Hammond
M: Ben Rowe/Daniel Murrall/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

7 - Mensah blasts the ball down the left flank for Rowe to pick up and cross to unmarked Menayese for the short header goal. 1-0

32 - Hammond throws it in to Menayese on the right side of the box. The Welshman dribbles back, then crosses to Jones. The keeper misjudges his jump, and there's our DL's first ever Hares goal. 2-0

56 - O'Brien subs in for Kalonji

61 - In comes Christoforou for Hammond

70 - Murrell to Rowe to O'Brien, and hello! 3-0

7.8 for Lee Hunter, who seems damn determined to get his money. 8.8 for Matty Jones, 7.7 for Daniel Murrall, 7.9 for Ben Rowe, and 9.0 with his second PotM for Elvis Menayese.

All right, Hunter, you fucking thief. Oh, now he doesn't want to talk to me. Whatever.

@ Leiston Reserves (17th)
G: Adam Potton
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Lee Hunter/James Hammond
M: Ben Rowe/Daniel Murrall/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

22 seconds - Murrall with the kickoff steal and pass to Kalonji. Out to Peltier on the outside of the box. Short pass in to Menayese, and the good times just keep on rolling. 1-0

30 - Mensah lofts it to Hammond, and the cross to Rowe sees the header shot clang off the post. No problem, as Menayese is there to slot in the rebound. 2-0

38 - I suppose it'd be silly to think we'd win everything 3-0. 2-1

At half, Christoforou replaces Jones; Rowe moves to DC and out with Warrington, whilst Forrester takes over at ML.

55 - Kalonji is knocked pretty badly, so O'Brien jumps in for him.

62 - FFS. Now I can't play the music video I wanted to. 2-2

I'll be nice and say we were unlucky there. There's no excuse for that type of fuckup, though. And we lose Michael Kalonji for 6-7 weeks on top of it.

vs Diss (19th)
G: Adam Potton
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Lee Hunter/James Hammond
M: Ben Rowe/Daniel Murrall/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Jamie O'Brien/Elvis Menayese

30 - Hey, thanks for the own goal on that corner! 1-0

42 - This is why I don't fucking pay your sorry ass, Hunter! Fucking PK. 1-1

Rowe flips right side, Forrester in, and Hunter's ass sits the fuck down for Brough.

52 - Mensah, you fucking moron. Don't push the keeper to disallow a goal.

75 - Mensah long balls it, and Rowe, who has been playing like a fucking moron in the second half, has to hustle like a rapper selling his shitty CD on the street for a donation. He does get the ball and the cross to Menash sees the only great player on this team head the fucker in. 2-1

85 - Forrester is all yeah, I'm gonna shoot this down left for O'Brien to get it, and then the Irish guy is all yeah I'm gonna cross it to the Welsh dude, and Menayese is all yeah, I'm going to fucking head this bitch in, because I'm fucking destroying this league. 3-1

8.4 for Joseph Mensah, 7.5 for Daniel Murrall, and 8.8 for PotM Elvis Menayese, who has like 6 goals in 4 games.

Luke Hunter can kiss his starting spot goodbye. Alex Brough is still the damn truth. Sorry I cut your vice captaincy bro.

4 games in and it's going to be a dogfight in the division. Lot of teams are starting out great. Including Welsham-le-Willows, who are in first after 5 games with 12 points. We have 10 after 4, and our game in hand is against the team below us.

Transfer Out - GK Kyle Greening - $4.5k
These midseason poaches are going to scare the shit out of me. Luckily, Greening was really our third best keeper, last season's title aside.

[Izulde]

@ Caister (3rd)
G: Adam Potton
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/James Hammond
M: Ben Rowe/Daniel Murrall/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Jamie O'Brien/Elvis Menayese

Critical early season matchup for sure.

11 - Potton with the goal kick intended for Peltier, but it goes past him. Fortunately the Trinidadan tracks it down. His pass to Murrall also whiffs, but the intended target also gets to it first. Pass out to Rowe actually hits, and so does the cross, with Meanayese's header hitting the net. Defense cries offsides, and they were probably right to do so. 1-0

23 - Refs equal the bad call there. 1-1

43 - Brough boots it out to Rowe and the center to Menayese translates to a long kick goal. 2-1

At half, we switch to a 4-4-1-1 with Murrall at AMC to replace the injured O'Brien. Rowe switches right and Forrester on at ML. Brumpton takes the vacant MC spot.

64 - Rowe laterals to Brumpton, and the pass into the box to Menayese results in a hat trick!!! 3-1

9.0 for Ben Rowe, 7.9 for Dan Murrall, and of course 9.5 for PotM Elvis Menayese, who has become even better this year than he was last season.

Jamie O'Brien is down for 2-3 weeks.

Transfer Out - DL Adam Male - $5k
Wanted PT that I just couldn't give him, so off he goes to make some actual money.

vs Long Stratton (2nd)
G: Adam Potton
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/James Hammond
M: Ben Rowe/Daniel Murrall/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Elvis Menayese

Back to back vital matches. Yeesh. Tom Hooper just got back from injury himself, so keeping our strikers healthy this year has been damned impossible.

29 - Ugh. 0-1

55 - Howell for Warrington; Hammond to DC and Christoforou in at DR.

Ben Rowe blew two easy shots that would have won us the game, so I'm not happy at all with the result, to say the least. A drop down to 2nd place now.

[Izulde]

@ Newmarket (18th)
G: Adam Potton
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/James Hammond
M: Ben Rowe/Daniel Murrall/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Elvis Menayese

19 - Whatever. 0-1

32 - FUCK YOU! HOOPER WAS ONSIDES!

37 - We'll take that own goal. 1-1

47 - Absolutely shit free kick defending 1-2

Christoforou replaces Hammond; Howell in for Warrington at half and a whole lot of screaming.

46 - Menayese kicks out to Christoforou and gets it back on the longball in the box. They're screaming the goal is offsides but suck a dick. You already got a bullshit call earlier in the game. 2-2

72 - Awarded the PK and Menayese converts for his second goal of the game. 3-2

77 - Hooper intercepts a header interception on the goal kick with a header of his own and lays it to Menayese in the box. Dribble, dribble find spot. And there's the hat trick goal! 4-2

9.4 and PotM for Elvis Menayese obvs, but hat tips to Daniel Murrall (7.9) and Rafail Christoforou (7.2 off the bench).

Unfortunately we still drop to 3rd, as Saffron Walden won their game in hand earlier, so we're 3 points out of promotion places.

vs Hendon (10th)
G: Adam Potton
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Lee Hunter/James Hammond
M: Ben Rowe/Daniel Murrall/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

27 - Hammond longballs in the box for Kalonji, but it's headed away. Rowe is right there to get it, and he feeds Peltier in the box for his first goal of the year! The Trinidadan is back to his Nerlens Noel haircut btw, so yay. 1-0

39 - Fucking corner kicks. 1-1

49 - Howell for Hunter and Hammond takes the other DC spot, with Christoforou in at DR.

62 - Hammond blasts the free kick down the right flank, and Peltier gets there just before it crosses the touchline. Cross far post and Rowe kicks it into the wide open goal. 2-1

73 - Fuck this backline. 2-2

83 - Seriously, just fuck them. 2-3

We crash all the way down to 4th, and now we're way, way behind the curve.

Fuck it. I'm bored and irritated. Putting this one on the shelf for now.