"I swear to Dog...." Stories of Bailey and Duke

[SirFozzie]

So, this is a "RL dynasty", but it's a place for me to tell funny stories about my brother's dogs. Ok, they're my dogs too, and I do most of the interactions with them since I'm home all day due to health. But life is many things with them, but it's not often boring.

So, without further ado, let me introduce the two main players on my Doggo Roster.

Bailey the Wonder Dog: She's a rottie mix, but a true mutt, I think she has like 20 different breeds in her DNA. She's mostly chill, some of that is because of age (she's 15), but she can be very persistent when she doesn't get what she wants (my first story will be about her). She's about 40 pounds.

Duke the Monster Dog: If you follow me on facebook, most of my "I swear to Dog" stories are about Duke. He is another mutt, a rescue by my brother, and is the weirdest breed mix I've heard of, a german shepherd/Pug Mixture. As he's a rescue, he's a lot more willing to try things and to get into trouble. Can be very active (Despite being approximately 30 pounds, can jump up to the countertop like a cat and will do so if he thinks there's food on it and he can get away with it). But despite his flaws, he is a real sucker for human attention.

Both are very protective of their humans.

Here's a video of Duke's jumping ability (before the yard was fenced in, Duke was restricted to the Deck because he would escape if he could, so my brother built him a platform that he could jump up to to look out over the yard)

233643389_520297859035518_6454194434089119962_n.mp4 - Google Drive

Another Air Duke moment, from a couple years ago, but provides a view of him and Bailey.

13121760_1097324993639875_1195775941_n.mp4 - Google Drive

Duke and Bailey lounging in the sun earlier this year:

176221118_10223791454641598_1762955759573305916_n.jpg - Google Drive

[SirFozzie]

The first story deals with Bailey. As a lot of folks know, due to my various health ailments and sleep issues, I am up late at night a lot, which confuses the heck out of Bailey. As far as she's concerned, if it's still dark out but the big human is awake, that must mean it's time to feed her. She doesn't whine or cry to be fed, but she makes it clear that she wants to be fed, and is willing to do whatever it takes to get what she wants.

So, last night/this morning, I get out of bed at 2:40 am. I shut my brother's door and make my way down to the office to do some computer work to pass the time, where Bailey is napping. The rest of my morning goes like this:

3 15 am: Bailey wakes up, sees that I'm sitting at the office deck, and meanders over to me, her expression the equivalent of: "oh hey big human.. you're awake. Time to feed me, yes? No? (Sad doggo face)

335 am Plan A having failed, Bailey decides that the problem is that I'm sitting down, and if I stand up, I'll understand that it's time for her to be fed. So she paws at the door to the yard to go out, only to turn around and walk away when I open the door, hoping that I will follow her (and feed her)

345 So, we're at strike 2 here, so the plan is to paw at the door, but actually go outside. and do her business. Then it's time for food right? Well, she gets a couple treats for being a good dog and doing her business, but not fed. This is strike 3 for her big human feeding her, time to escalate the demands up the food chain. (yup, she wants to speak to my manager)

405 am. My brother still slumbers. Bailey walks down to my brother's door, and paws at it. It sounds somewhat between nails on a wood door and a fist slamming the door. I have to raise my power chair to stand and shoo her away, which gives her a couple opportunities. Since she's mostly deaf (or pretends to be when she doesn't get what she wants), she doesn't respond to a "No..." but I guide her away, and she seems to get the point.

4:10 am. No sooner have I sat back down and put the power chair back down then she's back at Jody's door, pawing at it again and again.


My brother, who is at this point woken up and rather exasperated" just feed them, will you?" (He prefers that they be fed later in the morning, but he knows as well as I do that Bailey will not give in).

I open the door, and Duke comes trotting out and joins Bailey for breakfast. Bailey tries not to look smug as I dole out her gooshyfood, while I mutter anti-doggo imprecations under my breath.

[SirFozzie]

And now, a Duke the Monster Dog story.

As I mentioned in the main post, he has gone walkabout several times in the past, and while our street is quiet, we're smack dab in the middle of two busier streets, so it's always nerve-wracking when he escapes. This has to deal with his most recent escapade.

My health care worker was paying a visit, and Duke gets very excited about meeting new people. Since he's a bigger dog, this can be scary for folks (he's not aggressive, unless he thinks you're a threat to his humans). So While I'm letting her in, he comes running down to investigate, slips out and begins sniffing, before it registers in his doggie brain "Hey, I'm outside! I'm FREE!" and he takes off like a shot.

Of course, this begins a game of chase that he enjoys and about gives me a panic attack, but thankfully he has a hidden weakness. He LOVES car rides, so I manage to hobble inside, get in my car and go up one of the neighboring streets, and there he is, trotting up the street (on the far side of the road, which means he crossed the street at least once, ack, I get nerves just thinking about it), but I pull into a carpet place up the road and he comes trotting up, sees it me, and unprompted just jumps into the car as if to say "Ok, time to take me home"

Scared me out of a year of life I think.

[SirFozzie]

So, trying to adjust my sleeping pattern to sleep overnight, somewhat caused by Bailey demanding to be fed at inappropriate times and waking me and Jody up, and Bailey doesn't know what to do. We don't have shut doors, so she can't paw at them to wake us up and demand food, so, she tries to make do by doing the next best thing.

Parking herself right between my door and Jody's door, so if either of us stumbles out of our respective bedrooms to use the facilities, she'll be right there to remind us she needs to be fed.

I don't think she's thought that through. My night vision ain't exactly great, I'm 85%+ asleep, and it's pitch black. I don't think she wants to be a 45-50 pound lump in the hallway for anyone to trip over.. hasn't happened yet, but that's because I have to remind myself not to overstride, because kicking an old dog is not exactly good for her or my health.

[SirFozzie]

Bailey the Wonder Dog is at it again.

First of all, her big human isn't awake to feed her at 4 am. Something about trying to sleep more normally. Hmph.

Secondly, the door to his room is shut, so she can't stare at him to wake him up. Double Hmph.

Well, two birds with one stone, right? (Insert paw scratching at door multiple time).

Well, partial success, big human wakes up (as well as Boss Human, grumpy), but all he does is open his door and goes back to bed.

HMPH!

SHe finally gets what she wants, Big Human uses the bathroom (nearly tripping over Bailey), and that sets Duke off wanting to be fed, and a very grumpy Boss Human feeds them.

It's lucky she's so loveable. :P

[SirFozzie]

So, my brother is weird in that he prefers a colder house, which can drive me crazy in winter (He sets the "heat" (quotation marks needed) to 64 during the day, and 61 overnight, which is one of the reasons why I've been trying to go to a normal sleeping pattern, it's damn cold, even with a sweater on!)

But last night, I was gaming but I had grabbed a blanket from my room to cover me, and this became problematic for Duke (The Monster Dog). You see, in his doggie mind, blankets are things HE Lays on, not things humans put over them to keep them warm.

So I'm playing MLB the show in my power lift chair, and I notice duke stirring on the swivel chair next to me. He takes in that Big Human has a blanket on him, and his Doggie brain puts two + two together and thinks "Oh! Big HUman wants me to lay on top of him! That's nice of him!"

Insert graphic of 40 pound ish dog climbing from one chair to another and landing on said big human here.

It was like "huh? no auuggghhh"

[SirFozzie]

So, we had a similar incident yesterday, with an added twist. Duke is feeling a bit under the weather, and one of the things he does when he's not feeling good is to lay so he's laying on top of some part of one of his humans. Especially cuz of his size, he can be... difficult to dislodge, so you kinda just have to grin and bear it.

So I'm playing MLB the show, reclining in my power chair, when he decides to climb over. He's mostly on the chair arm, so I don't shoo him, and end up playing around him. He's happy, I can still finish my game (which I need to do to finish a couple missions), and all is well.

Then, he shifts. and somehow hits the power button on my TV. The PS5 has a feature when you turn off the TV, it automatically goes into rest mode. (the theory is, if you turn off the TV, you're done using the PS5 so save power). Unfortunately, despite the fact I was playing the CPU, MLB the show requires you to remain online throughout Diamond Dynasty as an anti-cheating measure. So as I "Ack!" and try to figure out what just happened, my PS5 goes into rest mode and all the stats I've accumulated in that game was lost.

Which wouldn't have been so bad if it was say, the 1st inning. Considering it was the 7th and I was up 14-1.... Grrrr....