Abolishing the Penny

[Fonzie]

This is, perhaps, the first time I have agreed with a William Safire column. In fact, I'd call this Safire piece a gem.

Get it? Get it?

*sigh*

From the NYTimes website:

Abolish the Penny
By WILLIAM SAFIRE

Published: June 2, 2004

Columnist Page: William Safire
Forum: Discuss This Column
E-mail: [email protected]

WASHINGTON — Because my staunch support of the war in Iraq has generated such overwhelming reader enthusiasm, it's time to re-establish my contrarian credentials. (Besides, I need a break.) Here's a crusade sure to infuriate the vast majority of penny-pinching traditionalists:

The time has come to abolish the outdated, almost worthless, bothersome and wasteful penny. Even President Lincoln, who distrusted the notion of paper money because he thought he would have to sign each greenback, would be ashamed to have his face on this specious specie.

That's because you can't buy anything with a penny any more. Penny candy? Not for sale at the five-and-dime (which is now a "dollar store"). Penny-ante poker? Pass the buck. Any vending machine? Put a penny in and it will sound an alarm.

There is no escaping economic history: it takes nearly a dime today to buy what a penny bought back in 1950. Despite this, the U.S. Mint keeps churning out a billion pennies a month.

Where do they go? Two-thirds of them immediately drop out of circulation, into piggy banks or — as The Times's John Tierney noted five years ago — behind chair cushions or at the back of sock drawers next to your old tin-foil ball. Quarters and dimes circulate; pennies disappear because they are literally more trouble than they are worth.

The remaining 300 million or so — that's 10 million shiny new useless items punched out every day by government workers who could be more usefully employed tracking counterfeiters — go toward driving retailers crazy. They cost more in employee-hours — to wait for buyers to fish them out, then to count, pack up and take them to the bank — than it would cost to toss them out. That's why you see "penny cups" next to every cash register; they save the seller time and the buyer the inconvenience of lugging around loose change that tears holes in pockets and now sets off alarms at every frisking-place.

Why is the U.S. among the last of the industrialized nations to abolish the peskiest little bits of coinage? At the G-8 summit next week, the Brits and the French — even the French! — who dumped their low-denomination coins 30 years ago, will be laughing at our senseless jingling.

The penny-pinching horde argues: those $9.98 price tags save the consumer 2 cents because if the penny was abolished, merchants would "round up" to the nearest dollar. That's pound-foolish: the idea behind the 98-cent (and I can't even find a cent symbol on my keyboard any more) price is to fool you into thinking that "it's less than 10 bucks." In truth, merchants would round down to $9.95, saving the consumer billions of paper dollars over the next century.

What's really behind America's clinging to the pesky penny? Nostalgia cannot be the answer; if we can give up the barbershop shave with its steam towels, we can give up anything.

The answer, I think, has to do with zinc, which is what pennies are mostly made of; light copper plating turns them into red cents. The powerful, outsourcing zinc lobby — financed by Canadian mines as well as Alaskan — entices front groups to whip up a frenzy of save-the-penny mail to Congress when coin reform is proposed.

But when the penny is abolished, the nickel will boom. And what is a nickel made of? No, not the metallic element nickel; our 5-cent coin is mainly composed of copper. And where is most of America's copper mined? Arizona. If Senator John McCain would get off President Bush's back long enough to serve the economic interests of his Arizona constituents, we'd get some long-overdue coin reform.

What about Lincoln, who has had a century-long run on the penny? He's still honored on the $5 bill, and will be as long as the dollar sign remains above the 4 on keyboards. If this threatens coin reformers with the loss of Illinois votes, put Abe on the dime and bump F.D.R.

What frazzled pollsters, surly op-ed pages, snarling cable talkfests and issue-starved candidates for office need is a fresh source of hot-eyed national polarization. Coin reform can close the controversy gap and fill the vitriol void. Get out those bumper stickers: Abolish the penny!

[sachmo71]

I like pennies.

[MrBug708]

So it would cost .05 for thoughts now?

Inflation's a bitch...

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by sachmo71

I like pennies.

Your response is incorrect. Please step into the atomic vaporizer for immediate liquidation.

And take your damn pennies with you, please.

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by MrBug708

So it would cost .05 for thoughts now?

Inflation's a bitch...

Dola-

Do you really want to hear thoughts that are only worth a penny? Here's what I got from my wife recently when I offered her a penny for her thoughts:

"Grrrgle mcfrglesen ga ga ga fip."

Hardly seems worth it.

[SirFozzie]

Well, Fonzie, if you weren't holding her under water at the time...

(ooo.. that's bad)

[Suicane75]

Originally Posted by Fonzie

Dola-

Do you really want to hear thoughts that are only worth a penny? Here's what I got from my wife recently when I offered her a penny for her thoughts:

"Grrrgle mcfrglesen ga ga ga fip."

Pictures?

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by MrBug708

So it would cost .05 for thoughts now?

Inflation's a bitch...

According to the article above the powers that be would just round down. So thoughts would be free. Huzzah!!!

[sachmo71]

Originally Posted by Fonzie

Dola-

Do you really want to hear thoughts that are only worth a penny? Here's what I got from my wife recently when I offered her a penny for her thoughts:

"Grrrgle mcfrglesen ga ga ga fip."

Hardly seems worth it.

Translation:

"Look, I can drink a glass of water while giving your oral sex! If your penis were larger, I might be in danger right now, but I think I might be able to get another pint of water in here!"

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by sachmo71

Translation:

"Look, I can drink a glass of water while giving your oral sex! If your penis were larger, I might be in danger right now, but I think I might be able to get another pint of water in here!"

Damn. Should've anticipated that one.

Hey, aren't you late for your vaporization?

[sachmo71]

Originally Posted by Fonzie

Damn. Should've anticipated that one.

Hey, aren't you late for your vaporization?

[Telle]

Well from my retail experience, we NEVER ended up with a surplus of pennies that would have to be counted up and taken to the bank. You always run out of coins, pennies included.

[Toddzilla]

I read an article in the WSJ where Wallgreens did a study by watching cashiers count out change - this was before the proliferation of check cards - and they determined that the amount of time spent by their cashiers counting out pennies for change was significant enough when you accounted for all of the millions of transactions the retail chain did each year, that Walgreens would save millions of dollars a year by rounding down every transaction to the closest 5 cents.

[Godzilla Blitz]

If you get rid of the penny, you've now created a free slot in most cash registers. I'd like to combine getting rid of the penny with the introduction of a new $1 coin. Preferably one that doesn't look like a quarter this time.

Maybe they could even make it out of zinc to keep the zinc mining industry happy.

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by Godzilla Blitz

If you get rid of the penny, you've now created a free slot in most cash registers. I'd like to combine getting rid of the penny with the introduction of a new $1 coin. Preferably one that doesn't look like a quarter this time.

Maybe they could even make it out of zinc to keep the zinc mining industry happy.

I like the way you think, mister.

Down with pennies!

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by Fonzie

This is, perhaps, the first time I have agreed with a William Safire column. In fact, I'd call this Safire piece a gem.

Get it? Get it?

*sigh*

(Hits Fonzie with a few rolls of now-useless pennies in the end of a gym sock.)

[gstelmack]

The problem here is sales tax. Most of the pennies I pay are because of things like "6.5% sales tax" on the sale.

Or we could just divide all money by 5 and roll back so the penny becomes useful again.

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Godzilla Blitz

I'd like to combine getting rid of the penny with the introduction of a new $1 coin.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We don't need no more stinking coins. I'm just fine with cash in my wallet, thank you very much. I don't need a change purse like my girlfriend...

[Hammer755]

I think there should be a 99-cent piece. I mean, everything costs $X and 99 cents. Wouldn't that make things a lot easier?

[sachmo71]

Originally Posted by Hammer755

I think there should be a 99-cent piece. I mean, everything costs $X and 99 cents. Wouldn't that make things a lot easier?

Do you live in a no tax zone?

[Hammer755]

Originally Posted by sachmo71

Do you live in a no tax zone?

You sound just like those guys at the Treasury Department.

[JeeberD]

It was nice going to the PX as a kid and not having to pay any tax. You always knew exactly howmuch you were going to have to pay for your candy purchases...

[KWhit]

Pennies suck.

[ISiddiqui]

Wouldn't the nickle just become the new penny when the penny was abolished? So what's the point? You always need a coin to be the lowest on the totem poll and it'll always be deemed useless. So what?

[sachmo71]

I hate rounding.

[Ryan S]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

It was nice going to the PX as a kid and not having to pay any tax. You always knew exactly howmuch you were going to have to pay for your candy purchases...

In Britain the sticker price is the price you pay. (of course, the sticker price includes a 17.5% sales tax )

[Samdari]

Originally Posted by Godzilla Blitz

If you get rid of the penny, you've now created a free slot in most cash registers. I'd like to combine getting rid of the penny with the introduction of a new $1 coin. Preferably one that doesn't look like a quarter this time.

Maybe they could even make it out of zinc to keep the zinc mining industry happy.

As a representative of the federal government, I regret to inform you that this idea makes far too much sense to be considered by our organization. You will be credited $0.01 on your 2004 income taxes for this thought.

[finkenst]

Originally Posted by Godzilla Blitz

If you get rid of the penny, you've now created a free slot in most cash registers. I'd like to combine getting rid of the penny with the introduction of a new $1 coin. Preferably one that doesn't look like a quarter this time.

Maybe they could even make it out of zinc to keep the zinc mining industry happy.

how could you ever "tuck a buck" then?

[Ragone]

Why did i think this was a thread about phoenix trading anfernee hardaway

[Alf]

The French now have "1 cent" Euro coins (equiv of your US pennies) but discarded "1 centime" coins when we were still using French Frnacs.

The "1 cent euro coin" is only useful when I go buy bread at the "boulangerie". Even the coffee machine doesnt accept them.

[Alf]

Originally Posted by Ragone

Why did i think this was a thread about phoenix trading anfernee hardaway

Is he worth a Penny ?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Godzilla Blitz

If you get rid of the penny, you've now created a free slot in most cash registers. I'd like to combine getting rid of the penny with the introduction of a new $1 coin. Preferably one that doesn't look like a quarter this time.

Works for me.

[Leonidas]

Overseas military facilities don't use the penny. They round up or down on final change for them, and I totally love it when I am there. I hate pennies, think they are useless and annoy me no end. Yes, please, get rid of the damn things. The military has proven we can live without them.

[tucker342]

I hate pennies so much. I always put pennies I get right back onto the counter. It's my way of fighting the power!

[thesloppy]

Originally Posted by tucker342

I hate pennies so much. I always put pennies I get right back onto the counter. It's my way of fighting the power!

If you didn't spend your first dance completely clothed I bet you could start pulling in some bills.

[stevew]

Originally Posted by Ragone

Why did i think this was a thread about phoenix trading anfernee hardaway

They traded him mid-last season to the Knicks.

[GrantDawg]

I like the gold dollars (and they do not look like a quarter).

[ISiddiqui]

Once again, I wonder how nickles will be viewed if pennies are gone. I give it 10 years until the first "Abolish the Nickle" articles.

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

Once again, I wonder how nickles will be viewed if pennies are gone. I give it 10 years until the first "Abolish the Nickle" articles.

Down with the nickle!

[gi]

Got back from Ireland and Scotland and really enjoyed having the 1 and 2 Euro/pound Coins while I was there...made sense.

[JesterBlaze]

Fonzie,

I haven't touched a penny (other than to drop it on a counter or out my car window as soon as a cashier hands it to me) in about 8 years.

I've never done the math but I assume for around $1/month I've lived an almost penny-free life the whole time.

I highly recommend it.

[Fonzie]

Originally Posted by JesterBlaze

Fonzie,

I haven't touched a penny (other than to drop it on a counter or out my car window as soon as a cashier hands it to me) in about 8 years.

I've never done the math but I assume for around $1/month I've lived an almost penny-free life the whole time.

I highly recommend it.

Beautiful.

[Huckleberry]

Originally Posted by ISiddiqui

Wouldn't the nickle just become the new penny when the penny was abolished? So what's the point? You always need a coin to be the lowest on the totem poll and it'll always be deemed useless. So what?

I agree completely. It's similar to people that complain about the doormat in their conference. Well, once you kick Baylor out of the Big XII and replace them, somebody else is going to be the new Baylor. What's the difference?

[Desnudo]

I would like to abolish the question mark.

[Tigercat]

Originally Posted by Huckleberry

I agree completely. It's similar to people that complain about the doormat in their conference. Well, once you kick Baylor out of the Big XII and replace them, somebody else is going to be the new Baylor. What's the difference?

The difference is with inflation the penny is nearly useless on its own. I don't think people would be so annoyed if the penny was actually worth something. Would you want to carry half a penny around? A nickle, on the other hand, still works well as a bottom of the currency chain coin. It can still take a bite out of tax on small goods on its own.