OT: What's the new superproduct?

QuikSand · 02-20-2003, 04:42 PM

Okay... there is money to be made. Cold, hard, cash just sitting needlessly in the pockets of suckers. Ripe for the taking.

Let me present a few case histories:

- - -

WATER

Old Thinking - Some families might have really hard well-water, and might want to pour spring water from a gallon jug. Sell it to them for a dollar a gallon, if you can get that much.

New Thinking - Spending money on water shows everyone else how chic you are. Sell yuppies bottles of water for a dollar or two for 12 or 16 ounces. Offer bottled water at high-markup vendors instead of having free tap water. Import water from Norway or other exotic locations, and charge double. Genius.

CIGARS

Old Thinking - Old men like to smoke cigars, eve though it makes them gag and smell like noxious fums. Old men aren't really loaded, so try to clip them for a few bucks for a five-pack of stogies - you'll make a living.

New Thinking - Cigars are a product for the afocionado, for the discriminating clientele. If you can't get Cubans, roll up whatever slag you can peel from the Dominican Republic and start shilling them for fifty times what they cost to make. Remember, more people will buy a $15 cigar than would buy the same cigar for $3, as long as it's clear to other people that they paid extra.

COFFEE

Old Thinking - It's the world's most popular drink, and rightfully so- it's super-cheap to process, distribute, and reconstitute. Trouble is, since everyone can make coffee, there's no money to be made there - use it as a loss leader at 50 cents a cup, and get people to buy a slice of apple pie or a danish along with it.

New Thinking - Coffee is a f*cking goldmine. Give your coffee a few clever names, dump a nickel's worth of crap from the local grocery store's spice isle in there, and they'll line up around the block to pay you four dollars a cup for the stuff. I sh*t you not.

Not detailed above: the SUV, iced tea, martinis, etc.

- - -

So, with that in mind... let's give some thought. What is the next product that we all take for granted, that is clearly not profitable, and clearly ahs no future. What is it that we could, in the next decade, turn into a new "glamour" item - a convenient method for conspicuous consumption.

I think the ideal would be to fill in the blank here:

Hey everybody look at me! I just spent an absurd amount of money just to buy _________!

I'm thinking on this one... this is our ticket out of here, friends.

Bee · 02-20-2003, 04:44 PM

gourmet donuts...the wave of the future.

ice4277 · 02-20-2003, 05:00 PM

Too late...

http://www.popcornfork.com/

Fritz · 02-20-2003, 05:03 PM

heya Sandy!

sachmo71 · 02-20-2003, 05:03 PM

Shoe horns.

sabotai · 02-20-2003, 05:08 PM

Nose-hair clippers

albionmoonlight · 02-20-2003, 05:21 PM

With everyone freaking out about "herbal supplements" (ephedra, etc.), the Yuppies are going to have to figure out what to bring to the gym. There is also a move (that I sense) back to healthy/whole earth/etc. type stuff.

So I vote for gourmet juice drinks. Take a 10c wholesale bananna, grind it up with a 10c wholesale orange, throw in some cheap liquid and sell it as a workout supplement for $5. I guess that you could argue that Smoothie King has already done this, but it is the best idea that I can devise off the top of my head. Another advantage to this business is that you can get really messed up and bruised fruits for very little wholesale. They all look the same blended up. Just make sure you have some fresh ones out where eveyone can see them.

Daimyo · 02-20-2003, 05:26 PM

They have those fruit type things... I don't know if they're popular. They're like $5 and taste like shit, but I see a ton of Kellogg students drinking them. (there's your yuppie audience)

Also there is a franchise pretty popular in Chicago now called "Jumba Juice"... basically its just fresh fruit blended into liquid (like a smoothie). They charge $4-$5 for a couple bucks worth of fruit, and they're always packed in the summer.

albionmoonlight · 02-20-2003, 05:26 PM

Dola--

My biggest complaint about Yuppies and pricing--

In New Orleans, raw oysters are the food of the people. They are big and juicy, you eat them with domestic beer, and you can find them for 25c an oyster without much trouble.

In Washington DC, raw oysters come from strange and exotic locales, people eat them at fancy resturants, they suck, and they can cost up to $2 an oyster.

QuikSand · 02-20-2003, 06:00 PM

Hmmm.. what about an item of clothing? Maybe take the old, tired $2.00 sweatband that nobody wears anymore... I dunno... you insert a 40 cent magnet into it, maybe use some kind of velcro closure, or some different fabric (spandex? lyrca?) and maybe you can come up with an exercise-suitable fashion accessory that you could sell for $15 or $20?

Daimyo · 02-20-2003, 06:08 PM

What if you took some of America's worn out fads overseas to new markets? Imagine if you could get 10% of the population of China to pay $0.50 each for pet rocks....

JonInMiddleGA · 02-20-2003, 06:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by QuikSand
Hmmm.. what about an item of clothing? Maybe take the old, tired $2.00 sweatband that nobody wears anymore... I dunno... you insert a 40 cent magnet into it, maybe use some kind of velcro closure, or some different fabric (spandex? lyrca?) and maybe you can come up with an exercise-suitable fashion accessory that you could sell for $15 or $20?

Too late, already being done.
They beat you to it Quik

Mac Howard · 02-20-2003, 06:44 PM

Bottled mountain air - get Michael Jackson to promote it
Pink handguns - accessories for the best dressed ladies

Barkeep49 · 02-20-2003, 07:00 PM

I have to agree with Mac and say that bottled air has to be the wave of the future.

ice4277 · 02-20-2003, 07:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Barkeep49
I have to agree with Mac and say that bottled air has to be the wave of the future.

So, I guess the movie Spaceballs was at the bleeding-edge of consumer trends...

Buzzbee · 02-20-2003, 07:36 PM

Here's one that always amazed me.

Hmmm. There are billions of pens in the world, and you can buy them REALLY cheap, for like less than a dollar. So, what we'll do is make them out of shiny, heavy material, make them big and fat, and give them a fancy name, like Mont Blanc. Then we'll charge OUTRAGEOUS prices to people and market it as a status symbol.

By the way, I had an employee once who would brag about the fact that she bought a $100 Mont Blanc for her husband and ONLY paid $75 for it. She even carried around the receipt to PROVE to people that she got such a great "deal". I laugh every time I think about buying a 10 pack of Bic's for a couple of dollars while she paid $75 for one lousy stinking pen.

{edited for spelling}

sabotai · 02-20-2003, 07:57 PM

Buzzbee.....AND THEY DON'T EVEN USE THEM!!

Barkeep49 · 02-20-2003, 07:57 PM

See I'm willing to spend money on pens to a point. Part of this might stem from my disability but having a pen with a smooth grip and a nice flow to the writing makes a HUGE difference in my ability to produce legible and coherent text. Plus it's just plain comfy. Of course I'm talking about $5 pens and not $75 ones...

kcchief19 · 02-20-2003, 07:59 PM

The reality is you could put almost any product in the blank. There is a certain genius in "premium pricing."

Look at Callaway Golf. When they started coming out with clubs, they couldn't dent the market. Then they got the idea to slap a $300 price tag on the same old clubs and and sales went through the roof.

That's all Starbucks's fancy-ass bottled water and everything else is -- a regular old product with premium pricing that makes people think they are getting something special. Or pretentious.

Buzzbee · 02-20-2003, 08:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sabotai
Buzzbee.....AD THEY DON'T EVEN USE THEM!!

Amen, brother!!!

Craptacular · 02-20-2003, 09:23 PM

Combine Herbal Essences marketing with Ultra Charmin toilet paper. We'd have to come up with a good name ... Titilltissue??

SplitPersonality1 · 02-20-2003, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Craptacular
Combine Herbal Essences marketing with Ultra Charmin toilet paper. We'd have to come up with a good name ... Titilltissue??

This idea comes from a guy who uses the nickname "Craptacular". Anyone else see the irony? Anyone....anyone?...Bueller?

Craptacular · 02-20-2003, 11:41 PM

Kodos · 02-21-2003, 12:39 AM

Hamburger earmuffs!

Kevin · 02-21-2003, 06:59 AM

In university (back in the Stone Age) my marketing professor told us about how Chivas Regal was considered the worst scotch ever made. Rather than change the recipe they changed the packaging and doubled the price and became a "premium" bestseller.

rkmsuf · 02-21-2003, 08:28 AM

make your own pizza place...

ketchup and mustard in the same bottle...

albionmoonlight · 02-21-2003, 08:51 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by JonInMiddleGA
Too late, already being done.
They beat you to it Quik

Did you actually read what's on that site? It's crazy. Their promotional shill presents one of the most inaccurate and worst written pieces of text that I have ever seen. But don't take my word for it . . .

____________

Highest quality neodymium magnets and support to help relieve discomfort & ease strained tendons, ligaments or painfull knees. Provides deep penetration to assist the healing process. Drink plenty of water.

Magnetic Therapy: INTRODUCTION

What we call the magnetic force or field has been around since time in memorial and appears everywhere in nature. Whether or not the universe began with a big bang – Magnetism is the force that holds it in place.

On earth we call it the gravitational force and together with the magnetic fields we receive from the sun and the moon it is responsible for protecting life on earth. This magnetic force has been detected as faraway from the earth’s surface as 10,600 kilometres and it is responsible for protecting us from the many particles from outer space that would destroy us if they were actually allowed to hit the earth. They also give us energy and are essential for health.

CURRENT TECHNOLOGY
We owe today’s products directly to NASA and work they did over twenty years ago. When man first ventured into space they found on their return they were weak and sick, their immune systems were weakened and their bones had lost density. They were put into quarantine for 6 weeks because of their lowered immunity.

NASA this was due to the lack of magnetic force in space and after years of developing new lightweight products that will hold an amazingly high magnetic strength, today’s astronauts have the benefit of specially lined suits and crafts. Nowadays they go straight from the capsule to a press conference.

The Earth’s natural magnetic field has decreased by 5% over the last 100 years, added to the fact that we are creating more and more electro-magnetic smog from our phones, computers, microwaves, televisions etc. We now live in concrete houses and travel in metal cars, trains and planes. Modern life now insulates us from receiving less and less of this natural health energy.

Tekneek · 02-21-2003, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Barkeep49
See I'm willing to spend money on pens to a point. Part of this might stem from my disability but having a pen with a smooth grip and a nice flow to the writing makes a HUGE difference in my ability to produce legible and coherent text. Plus it's just plain comfy. Of course I'm talking about $5 pens and not $75 ones...

I use Parkers, and those aren't even really $5 pens. I can't stand the plastic "disposable" type pens, though.

WSUCougar · 02-21-2003, 08:58 AM

Robotic cell phones. Little automated jobbies that skitter around like the "spiders" in Minority Report, playing your favorite downloaded music and showing images of Extreme Sports dudes in action on their tiny screens.

And every now and then they pause in their mechanized ballet to state, in Carrot Top's voice: "Can you hear me now?"

rkmsuf · 02-21-2003, 08:59 AM

robotic butcher...

oykib · 02-21-2003, 01:02 PM

Negative Ion accessories became really popular here when a bunch of World Cup athletes endorsed them.

Women's haircuts are the greatest scam ever invented, though. It's actually easier to cut their hair than ours. You just have to measure off the last inch or two. No ears or hairlines or sideburns to deal with. But you throw in a shampoo and an environment with bright pastel colors and a $12.95 Supercut becomes a $60 styling job.

HornedFrog Purple · 02-21-2003, 01:10 PM

This reminds me of buttonfly jeans and Bud Light.

Bud Light was still Bud Light despite little ol Spuds.

albionmoonlight · 02-24-2003, 12:40 PM

FRUIT JUICE

fancy orange juice made from a special blend of organically grown
oranges, served in fancy glass bottles. Apple juices blended from particular types of apple (Ex: a combination of Fuji, Braeburn, and a little granny smith to energize it a little), for superior
flavor and color. Pineapple juice incorporating touches of kiwi and coconut to bring out the flavor of the pineapples -- not like snapple; pure juice, not from concentrate, with just TOUCHES of the other fruits for flavor. Etc.

BEEF JERKY

What was once cheap road trip fare can become Atkins friendly "energy strips" with some repackaging.

Easy Mac · 02-24-2003, 12:44 PM

Quicksand

If you guys are like me, you're tired of using the same old slow sand. It's time they marketed some quicksand.

Slogan: "When you need to trap a raging moose in 17 seconds."

Fritz · 02-24-2003, 12:51 PM

Carmel Coated Popcorn and Candy.

I think they can get it going if they include some crappy prize.

Ryche · 02-24-2003, 12:52 PM

Tea houses. Tea has worldwide appeal similar to coffee, yet you probably see 1 for every 50 coffee place in the US.

QuikSand · 02-27-2003, 08:39 AM

Saw another good one... we missed the boat again.

DISHWASHING SOAP

Old Thinking - Soap is soap, stick it in a bottle with a little coloring, and you can probably get a couple of bucks a quart... or something like a nickel per use.

New Thinking - Super-powered extra-duty dishwashing tablets are here for your many dishwashing needs. Just insert one of these neat tablets into your dishwasher tray where you would have put the liquid soap, and presto - your dishes come out cleaner than when you put them in! Cost - about 40-50 cents per use.

Brilliant!

02-20-2003, 05:00 PM	#3
ice4277 Pro Rookie Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Berkley, MI: The Hotbed of FOFC!	Too late... http://www.popcornfork.com/ Last edited by ice4277 : 02-20-2003 at 05:05 PM.

02-20-2003, 05:03 PM	#4
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	heya Sandy! __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

02-20-2003, 05:26 PM	#8
Daimyo College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Berkeley	They have those fruit type things... I don't know if they're popular. They're like $5 and taste like shit, but I see a ton of Kellogg students drinking them. (there's your yuppie audience) Also there is a franchise pretty popular in Chicago now called "Jumba Juice"... basically its just fresh fruit blended into liquid (like a smoothie). They charge $4-$5 for a couple bucks worth of fruit, and they're always packed in the summer. Last edited by Daimyo : 02-20-2003 at 05:27 PM.

02-20-2003, 06:44 PM	#13
Mac Howard Sick as a Parrot Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Surfers Paradise, Australia	Bottled mountain air - get Michael Jackson to promote it Pink handguns - accessories for the best dressed ladies __________________ Mac Howard - a Pom in Paradise Last edited by Mac Howard : 02-20-2003 at 06:50 PM.

02-20-2003, 07:36 PM	#16
Buzzbee College Starter Join Date: Jun 2002	Here's one that always amazed me. Hmmm. There are billions of pens in the world, and you can buy them REALLY cheap, for like less than a dollar. So, what we'll do is make them out of shiny, heavy material, make them big and fat, and give them a fancy name, like Mont Blanc. Then we'll charge OUTRAGEOUS prices to people and market it as a status symbol. By the way, I had an employee once who would brag about the fact that she bought a $100 Mont Blanc for her husband and ONLY paid $75 for it. She even carried around the receipt to PROVE to people that she got such a great "deal". I laugh every time I think about buying a 10 pack of Bic's for a couple of dollars while she paid $75 for one lousy stinking pen. {edited for spelling} __________________ Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it. - Lou Holtz Last edited by Buzzbee : 02-20-2003 at 07:37 PM.

02-20-2003, 04:44 PM	#2
Bee Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Fairfax, VA	gourmet donuts...the wave of the future.

02-20-2003, 05:03 PM	#5
sachmo71 The boy who cried Trout Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: TX	Shoe horns.

02-20-2003, 05:08 PM	#6
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	Nose-hair clippers

02-20-2003, 05:21 PM	#7
albionmoonlight Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	With everyone freaking out about "herbal supplements" (ephedra, etc.), the Yuppies are going to have to figure out what to bring to the gym. There is also a move (that I sense) back to healthy/whole earth/etc. type stuff. So I vote for gourmet juice drinks. Take a 10c wholesale bananna, grind it up with a 10c wholesale orange, throw in some cheap liquid and sell it as a workout supplement for $5. I guess that you could argue that Smoothie King has already done this, but it is the best idea that I can devise off the top of my head. Another advantage to this business is that you can get really messed up and bruised fruits for very little wholesale. They all look the same blended up. Just make sure you have some fresh ones out where eveyone can see them.

02-20-2003, 06:00 PM	#10
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	Hmmm.. what about an item of clothing? Maybe take the old, tired $2.00 sweatband that nobody wears anymore... I dunno... you insert a 40 cent magnet into it, maybe use some kind of velcro closure, or some different fabric (spandex? lyrca?) and maybe you can come up with an exercise-suitable fashion accessory that you could sell for $15 or $20?

02-20-2003, 06:08 PM	#11
Daimyo College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Berkeley	What if you took some of America's worn out fads overseas to new markets? Imagine if you could get 10% of the population of China to pay $0.50 each for pet rocks....

02-20-2003, 07:00 PM	#14
Barkeep49 Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Not too far away	I have to agree with Mac and say that bottled air has to be the wave of the future.

02-20-2003, 07:57 PM	#17
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	Buzzbee.....AND THEY DON'T EVEN USE THEM!!

02-20-2003, 07:59 PM	#19
kcchief19 Pro Starter Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Kansas City, MO	The reality is you could put almost any product in the blank. There is a certain genius in "premium pricing." Look at Callaway Golf. When they started coming out with clubs, they couldn't dent the market. Then they got the idea to slap a $300 price tag on the same old clubs and and sales went through the roof. That's all Starbucks's fancy-ass bottled water and everything else is -- a regular old product with premium pricing that makes people think they are getting something special. Or pretentious.

02-20-2003, 09:23 PM	#21
Craptacular College Starter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Mad City, WI	Combine Herbal Essences marketing with Ultra Charmin toilet paper. We'd have to come up with a good name ... Titilltissue??

02-20-2003, 11:41 PM	#23
Craptacular College Starter Join Date: Oct 2001 Location: The Mad City, WI

02-21-2003, 12:39 AM	#24
Kodos Resident Alien Join Date: Jun 2001	Hamburger earmuffs!

02-21-2003, 06:59 AM	#25
Kevin High School JV Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Nova Scotia	In university (back in the Stone Age) my marketing professor told us about how Chivas Regal was considered the worst scotch ever made. Rather than change the recipe they changed the packaging and doubled the price and became a "premium" bestseller. __________________ It seems more like today than it did all day yesterday.

02-21-2003, 08:28 AM	#26
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	make your own pizza place... ketchup and mustard in the same bottle... __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

02-21-2003, 08:58 AM	#29
WSUCougar Rider Of Rohan Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Port Angeles, WA or Helm's Deep	Robotic cell phones. Little automated jobbies that skitter around like the "spiders" in Minority Report, playing your favorite downloaded music and showing images of Extreme Sports dudes in action on their tiny screens. And every now and then they pause in their mechanized ballet to state, in Carrot Top's voice: "Can you hear me now?" __________________ It's not the years...it's the mileage.

02-21-2003, 08:59 AM	#30
rkmsuf Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2001	robotic butcher... __________________ "Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales

02-21-2003, 01:02 PM	#31
oykib College Starter Join Date: Oct 2000	Negative Ion accessories became really popular here when a bunch of World Cup athletes endorsed them. Women's haircuts are the greatest scam ever invented, though. It's actually easier to cut their hair than ours. You just have to measure off the last inch or two. No ears or hairlines or sideburns to deal with. But you throw in a shampoo and an environment with bright pastel colors and a $12.95 Supercut becomes a $60 styling job.

02-21-2003, 01:10 PM	#32
HornedFrog Purple Hattrick Moderator Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Fort Worthless, Tx	This reminds me of buttonfly jeans and Bud Light. Bud Light was still Bud Light despite little ol Spuds. __________________ King of All FOFC Media!!! IHOF: Fort Worthless Fury- 2004 AOC Deep South Champions (not acknowledged via conspiracy)

02-24-2003, 12:40 PM	#33
albionmoonlight Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: North Carolina	FRUIT JUICE fancy orange juice made from a special blend of organically grown oranges, served in fancy glass bottles. Apple juices blended from particular types of apple (Ex: a combination of Fuji, Braeburn, and a little granny smith to energize it a little), for superior flavor and color. Pineapple juice incorporating touches of kiwi and coconut to bring out the flavor of the pineapples -- not like snapple; pure juice, not from concentrate, with just TOUCHES of the other fruits for flavor. Etc. BEEF JERKY What was once cheap road trip fare can become Atkins friendly "energy strips" with some repackaging.

02-24-2003, 12:44 PM	#34
Easy Mac Registered User Join Date: Nov 2001 Location: Here	Quicksand If you guys are like me, you're tired of using the same old slow sand. It's time they marketed some quicksand. Slogan: "When you need to trap a raging moose in 17 seconds."

02-24-2003, 12:51 PM	#35
Fritz Lethargic Hooligan Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: hello kitty found my wallet at a big tent revival and returned it with all the cash missing	Carmel Coated Popcorn and Candy. I think they can get it going if they include some crappy prize. __________________ donkey, donkey, walk a little faster

02-24-2003, 12:52 PM	#36
Ryche College Benchwarmer Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Highlands Ranch, CO, USA	Tea houses. Tea has worldwide appeal similar to coffee, yet you probably see 1 for every 50 coffee place in the US. __________________ Some knots are better left untied. Last edited by Ryche : 02-24-2003 at 01:23 PM.

02-27-2003, 08:39 AM	#37
QuikSand lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Annapolis, Md	Saw another good one... we missed the boat again. DISHWASHING SOAP Old Thinking - Soap is soap, stick it in a bottle with a little coloring, and you can probably get a couple of bucks a quart... or something like a nickel per use. New Thinking - Super-powered extra-duty dishwashing tablets are here for your many dishwashing needs. Just insert one of these neat tablets into your dishwasher tray where you would have put the liquid soap, and presto - your dishes come out cleaner than when you put them in! Cost - about 40-50 cents per use. Brilliant!

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