The Juice is scared of Adrian Peterson

Vegas Vic · 01-04-2005, 05:25 AM

"He's the one player who's probably going to have the greatest impact on the game," Simpson said. "You can be in the perfect defense and it doesn't matter, he'll make an adjustment, he'll make a move and he'll score. He's the type of athlete that you can't defend. He scares me to death."

I'm sure if he really wanted to, The Juice could cut Peterson down to size.

Link

Sharpieman · 01-04-2005, 05:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vegas Vic

I'm sure if he really wanted to, The Juice could cut Peterson down to size.

Literally

Raiders Army · 01-04-2005, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vegas Vic

"He scares me to death."

Betcha Nicole coulda used him.

moriarty · 01-04-2005, 07:58 AM

I'm sure USC is just loving all the attention Juice is getting lately as a 'famous' alumni.

What's the over/under on ABC's Juice reaction shots?

Ksyrup · 01-04-2005, 08:03 AM

"He said his son couldn't go to the Orange Bowl because he's playing in a basketball game Tuesday night."

I like how this is phrased - "his son couldn't go...", not "OJ blew off his son's basketball game to be the unwanted center of attention for his alma mater".

Vegas Vic · 01-04-2005, 09:37 AM

O. J. is without peer when it comes to carving through the opposition without getting convicted, er, I mean....caught.

moriarty · 01-04-2005, 10:23 AM

Any truth to the rumor OJ is giving the pregame pep talk, telling them to 'go for the jugular'?

I got nothing.

sterlingice · 01-04-2005, 07:43 PM

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/95/95bnflonnbc.phtml

The NFL on NBC

O.J. Simpson.....Tim Meadows
Marv Levy.....Will Ferrell
Bob Costas.....Darrell Hammond

Following his year-and-a-half incarceration, O.J. Simpson returns to the sidelines as a sports commentator on "NFL on NBC":

O.J. Simpson: The teams are almost ready to take the field, and they look pretty pumped. Right now, I've got Bills coach Marv Levy here. [ Marv Levy steps forward ] Marv, you guys are 3-1 - you must be feeling real good right now.

Marv Levy: [ nervous about being interviewed by O.J. ] Uh.. sure, we feel okay.

O.J. Simpson: Now, Marv, the last time you guys played the Jets, you really killed them! I mean, you guys really went for the jugular!

Marv Levy: Well.. we did win the game..

O.J. Simpson: Yeah, but you know, these two teams have a long ugly history. It was only a matter of time before you destroyed them. A lot of people saw this coming for a long time.. I mean, all the warning signs were there!

Marv Levy: [ confused ] What?

O.J. Simpson: You know, like you guys were out of control, or something. You guys were hitting late. You commited one crazy face mask penalty, but.. you got away with it. It was like you just put aside the rules and put matters into your own hands. It was the kind of brutalizing effort that must have made you feel good, but kinda bad, too.

Marv Levy: Uh.. uh.. I wouldn't say that, I don't think..

O.J. Simpson: But, you know, who could blame you? You guys were on a frenzy! I mean, once the adrenaline gets going, you're not responsible for your actions. Oh, by the way - did you black out at any time?

Marv Levy: I'm sorry..?

O.J. Simpson: Now, in the second half, it was brutal! I mean, it was the kind of game where, afterwards, you just want to take off your clothes and dump 'em in a duffel bag, and just get rid of 'em before you catch the Red out of Chicago.

Marv Levy: Uh, we never played Chicago..

O.J. Simpson: Whatever. But, I guess the real question is: Marv, you beat the Jets, but, in a weird way, do you still love 'em?

Marv Levy: Uh.. I can't answer that, O.J.

O.J. Simpson: Okay, well, let's go the telestrater now. Here's a play that your offense has been going over a lot this year. [ takes out pen and draws on telestrater ] Now, you lined up your halfback right behind your quarterback.. [ draws a line going up on the center of the upper part of the screen ( I ) ] ..your tight end has been running a curl pattern.. [ draws a line going down and around on the far right center of the screen ( d ) ] ..Now, when Kelly fakes play action, the defense is frozen.. [ on the bottom right of the screen, he draws a line going up and a line going across it for the block ( T )] ..allowing your Wide open to be open on the other side.. [ draws a squiggly pattern on the far left center of the screen ( d ) ] ..opening a hole in the middle.. [ draws a line on the bottom of the screen ( I ) ] ..and a seam on the left.. [ draws final line in the middle ( I ), spelling the words "I DID IT" on the telestrater ]

Marv Levy: [ stunned, appalled and scared ] I really gotta go! I gotta go! [ runs away ]

O.J. Simpson: Okay! Well, I'll just watch from a distance, alright?

[ cut to Bob Costas in the booth ]

Bob Costas: O.J., O.J. Why don't you just.. come right out and say it?

O.J. Simpson: Alright. It hurts to admit this, but, Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!"

01-04-2005, 08:03 AM	#5
Ksyrup This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off. Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: In Absentia	"He said his son couldn't go to the Orange Bowl because he's playing in a basketball game Tuesday night." I like how this is phrased - "his son couldn't go...", not "OJ blew off his son's basketball game to be the unwanted center of attention for his alma mater". __________________ M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."

01-04-2005, 10:23 AM	#7
moriarty College Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: A negative place	Any truth to the rumor OJ is giving the pregame pep talk, telling them to 'go for the jugular'? I got nothing. Last edited by moriarty : 01-04-2005 at 10:24 AM.

01-04-2005, 07:43 PM	#8
sterlingice Hall Of Famer Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Back in Houston!	http://snltranscripts.jt.org/95/95bnflonnbc.phtml The NFL on NBC O.J. Simpson.....Tim Meadows Marv Levy.....Will Ferrell Bob Costas.....Darrell Hammond Following his year-and-a-half incarceration, O.J. Simpson returns to the sidelines as a sports commentator on "NFL on NBC": O.J. Simpson: The teams are almost ready to take the field, and they look pretty pumped. Right now, I've got Bills coach Marv Levy here. [ Marv Levy steps forward ] Marv, you guys are 3-1 - you must be feeling real good right now. Marv Levy: [ nervous about being interviewed by O.J. ] Uh.. sure, we feel okay. O.J. Simpson: Now, Marv, the last time you guys played the Jets, you really killed them! I mean, you guys really went for the jugular! Marv Levy: Well.. we did win the game.. O.J. Simpson: Yeah, but you know, these two teams have a long ugly history. It was only a matter of time before you destroyed them. A lot of people saw this coming for a long time.. I mean, all the warning signs were there! Marv Levy: [ confused ] What? O.J. Simpson: You know, like you guys were out of control, or something. You guys were hitting late. You commited one crazy face mask penalty, but.. you got away with it. It was like you just put aside the rules and put matters into your own hands. It was the kind of brutalizing effort that must have made you feel good, but kinda bad, too. Marv Levy: Uh.. uh.. I wouldn't say that, I don't think.. O.J. Simpson: But, you know, who could blame you? You guys were on a frenzy! I mean, once the adrenaline gets going, you're not responsible for your actions. Oh, by the way - did you black out at any time? Marv Levy: I'm sorry..? O.J. Simpson: Now, in the second half, it was brutal! I mean, it was the kind of game where, afterwards, you just want to take off your clothes and dump 'em in a duffel bag, and just get rid of 'em before you catch the Red out of Chicago. Marv Levy: Uh, we never played Chicago.. O.J. Simpson: Whatever. But, I guess the real question is: Marv, you beat the Jets, but, in a weird way, do you still love 'em? Marv Levy: Uh.. I can't answer that, O.J. O.J. Simpson: Okay, well, let's go the telestrater now. Here's a play that your offense has been going over a lot this year. [ takes out pen and draws on telestrater ] Now, you lined up your halfback right behind your quarterback.. [ draws a line going up on the center of the upper part of the screen ( I ) ] ..your tight end has been running a curl pattern.. [ draws a line going down and around on the far right center of the screen ( d ) ] ..Now, when Kelly fakes play action, the defense is frozen.. [ on the bottom right of the screen, he draws a line going up and a line going across it for the block ( T )] ..allowing your Wide open to be open on the other side.. [ draws a squiggly pattern on the far left center of the screen ( d ) ] ..opening a hole in the middle.. [ draws a line on the bottom of the screen ( I ) ] ..and a seam on the left.. [ draws final line in the middle ( I ), spelling the words "I DID IT" on the telestrater ] Marv Levy: [ stunned, appalled and scared ] I really gotta go! I gotta go! [ runs away ] O.J. Simpson: Okay! Well, I'll just watch from a distance, alright? [ cut to Bob Costas in the booth ] Bob Costas: O.J., O.J. Why don't you just.. come right out and say it? O.J. Simpson: Alright. It hurts to admit this, but, Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!" __________________ Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"

01-04-2005, 07:58 AM	#4
moriarty College Starter Join Date: Nov 2000 Location: A negative place	I'm sure USC is just loving all the attention Juice is getting lately as a 'famous' alumni. What's the over/under on ABC's Juice reaction shots?

01-04-2005, 09:37 AM	#6
Vegas Vic Checkraising Tourists Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cocoa Beach, FL	O. J. is without peer when it comes to carving through the opposition without getting convicted, er, I mean....caught.

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