Need some advice/opinions

[Lathum]

OK, so my whole adult life I've worked in resturants, which anyone who has worked in a resturant will tell you is a whole different world. I've never really had a hard time meeting women, however, now that I work in an office things are obviously different. so my question is this:

My department has about 13 people in it. 3 are gay guys, 9 are middle-aged married women. That leaves me and a very attractive girl around the same age. Now I have no idea what passes as flirting in an office, however we fire humorous emails back and forth all day if we are bored and stuff we have found online that is cool/funny. We also kid about other people in the deparment and when she is bored she will usually come by my cube and chat, but never stay for more than a few minutes. My office also has a cooler full of beer that they unlock at 5:00 and we will have a beer together 2-3 times a week. We also seem to end up sitting next to each other at meetings.

So my question is this. Does it seem like she is possibly interested or is it a byproduct of us being the only 2 people the same age. I don't wanna ask her out and risk an awkward situation or a breech of office etiquette. Any feedback from those of you in the buisness world would be appreciated.

[Telle]

I'd say start with asking her to lunch. It's a perfectly acceptable coworker thing to do, but also gives you some one-on-one time. See if she lets you pick up the check.. if she seems weirded out by it then she saw the lunch as just a lunch and wasn't interested in anything more (and then you can play off the gesture as just being a gentlemanly thing to do), but if she gives you a big smile and tosses her hair and thanks you then she might not mind an invitation to dinner sometime.

[Klinglerware]

Originally Posted by Lathum

So my question is this. Does it seem like she is possibly interested or is it a byproduct of us being the only 2 people the same age. I don't wanna ask her out and risk an awkward situation or a breech of office etiquette. Any feedback from those of you in the buisness world would be appreciated.

I can't really say much about the particulars of your situation, but I would think that a lot of the interaction you describe is because of the similarity in age with her versus the others in your department. I've also had "e-mail buddies" of the opposite sex at my workplace too, and it's mostly harmless fun (sharing the us against the company commiseration and all that).

That isn't to say that something couldn't develop. But with that being said, I would tread carefully, especially with dating someone in your workgroup.

[Desnudo]

You could ask her if she wants to grab a drink after work since you are already having drinks at work 2-3 times week. It's a natural extension. If she says no, then you have your answer, but it shouldn't make things uncomfortable.

[Crapshoot]

Yeah, we're told not to "dip the wick" in the office pool, so to speak- Im not sure what applies there.

[Raiders Army]

Did you have to wear a certain number of pieces of flair when you worked at the restaurant? I would recommend doing so in the office to impress the girl.

[Buccaneer]

Be aware of your company's sexual harrassment policy, if it has one. Knowing that you can have a cooler of beer in your cube, I would say it probably doesn't. I did an office affair 10 years ago and it just leads to in-office complications.

[Joe]

hit it

[B & B]

Originally Posted by Desnudo

You could ask her if she wants to grab a drink after work since you are already having drinks at work 2-3 times week. It's a natural extension. If she says no, then you have your answer, but it shouldn't make things uncomfortable.

That is your answer.

Continue after said advice was used.

[SunDancer]

Lathum,
Where do you work again?

[Ragone]

What Telle says is a good suggestion i think.. You should be able to get a read of her from that experience.. i'd also mix in asking about her life outside of work

[Craptacular]

If it doesn't work out with her, there's always the three gay guys.

[Craptacular]

Seriously, I like Telle's idea.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Raiders Army

Did you have to wear a certain number of pieces of flair when you worked at the restaurant? I would recommend doing so in the office to impress the girl.

it's funny you should mention that

[JeeberD]

I thought you had a woman, Lathum?

[Suicane75]

Be carefull dude, you get too close, you take her out to lunch, suddenly she starts telling you about a guy she met, then your stuck. She starts calling you up on days he isnt around and hanging out, laughing, drinking, but never putting her hand in a happy place, soon you start to go bonkers. The she dissapears for 6 weeks at a time, showing up every once in a blue moon, making herself at home, hanging out with ya, and ya start to think, mmmm, this is my chance. Then she leaves.....and you wait.....and wait.....then she calls, but only to complain about her boyfriend, and you get a glimmer of hope, until she mentions she met a new guy, and the process starts all over again.

I guess what im saying is to be carefull not to fall in the "friend" zone. It can a very easy place to get stuck in with a girl whom you're around all the time, and it can be the most sickening, gut wrenching place to be.

Or just do her in the butt.

[sovereignstar]

I recommend you ask a girl that is already close to you (a sister is good, cousin) about the situation and not a bunch of text-based simmers.

[Suicane75]

Originally Posted by sovereignstar

I recommend you ask a girl that is already close to you (a sister is good, cousin) about the situation and not a bunch of text-based simmers.

If he's already got a cousin he's close to, why would he need another chick?

[gottimd]

Originally Posted by Raiders Army

Did you have to wear a certain number of pieces of flair when you worked at the restaurant? I would recommend doing so in the office to impress the girl.

Ask her if she likes Kung Fu movies.

[cody8200]

If you do go out with her and things don't work out it will probably be a bad situation. Probably be uncomfortable for both of you at work since there are so few others to talk to.

[Blackadar]

Get her drunk and stick it in her butt.

[wade moore]

I have to go the "hell no" route..

I just think office romances are a BAD, BAD, BAD idea... It is SO different from restaurants, retail, etc...

[panerd]

Originally Posted by sovereignstar

I recommend you ask a girl that is already close to you (a sister is good, cousin) about the situation and not a bunch of text-based simmers.

Best piece of advice in the whole thread.

Also, if this business is where you have career ambitions you will probably be working with her for the next 10 years. So even if she is into you, if it doesn't work out you have to deal with her every day. Too many women outside of work to risk it in my opinion.

[Sun Tzu]

The ladies man recommends doing her in the butt. If she seems weirded out by it, then she's not really interested.




23 replies in a "advice regarding getting a woman" thread and nobody has mentioned this yet? But in all seriousness I would go with the lunch idea. I have dated inside of the workplace before, and it started out with just a simple lunch. We ate at a nice place downtown, and wound up just sitting there talking for 4 hours after that.

[bbor]

How did you all miss the fact that his company has a cooler of beer in it for the employees use?!?!?

Sign me up!

[Lathum]

Holy Crap. I was just reading everyone's responses and she was standing behind me.

[MacroGuru]

LOL!!!

[Gallifrey]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Holy Crap. I was just reading everyone's responses and she was standing behind me.

You may get your answer sooner than later.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

I thought you had a woman, Lathum?

F**k that crazy b**ch

[Franklinnoble]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Holy Crap. I was just reading everyone's responses and she was standing behind me.

Now THAT'S gold!



My advice (and, I've done the office romance thing - once): Don't shit where you eat.

[Suicane75]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Holy Crap. I was just reading everyone's responses and she was standing behind me.

Well played my man, well played. Now all the burden is on her.

[Suicane75]

Dola,

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT?

[Suicane75]

Originally Posted by Suicane75

Dola,

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THAT?

Tick tock tick tock.

[Lathum]

I don't think she saw anything. I was at the bottom of the post but it still startled the crap out of me.

Reminder to self-Erase history before I leave today.

[Suicane75]

Originally Posted by Lathum

I don't think she saw anything. I was at the bottom of the post but it still startled the crap out of me.

Reminder to self-Erase history before I leave today.

Well this won't do at all.

Leave this page up, go to her desk, tell her you're going out for a moment and ask her to come get something at your desk, then she'll have to see it.

[Loren]

ohh GOOD GRIEF, just ask her out already, if she says no, oh well...if she says yes, buy a box of trojans and be prepared...email her if you cant ask her face to face..you cant think about it being uncomfortable after because it already IS with you sitting there wondering whether to ask her out or not and if it's ok, and it IS ok, office or not, plenty of couples have met in an office setting, (im a girl so im allowed this next line) what if she's the ONE (or at least the best lay you'll ever have)and you pass it up because it's someone from work, pfftt just do it already!!!!!or give me her email and ILL ask her for you

[Suicane75]

Originally Posted by Loren

ohh GOOD GRIEF, just ask her out already, if she says no, oh well...if she says yes, buy a box of trojans and be prepared...email her if you cant ask her face to face..you cant think about it being uncomfortable after because it already IS with you sitting there wondering whether to ask her out or not and if it's ok, and it IS ok, office or not, plenty of couples have met in an office setting, (im a girl so im allowed this next line) what if she's the ONE (or at least the best lay you'll ever have)and you pass it up because it's someone from work, pfftt just do it already!!!!!or give me her email and ILL ask her for you

A box!@! For the first date?!@!

Cringer is a lucky son of a bitch.

[jbmagic]

so did you ask her.... its Friday...ask her out to dinner..

[korme]

PLEASE FILL US IN

[Lathum]

No, I have plans for the weekend so it would be a bad time for me to anyway, but I'll keep all of you posted.

[sovereignstar]

Originally Posted by Loren

ohh GOOD GRIEF, just ask her out already, if she says no, oh well...if she says yes, buy a box of trojans and be prepared...email her if you cant ask her face to face..you cant think about it being uncomfortable after because it already IS with you sitting there wondering whether to ask her out or not and if it's ok, and it IS ok, office or not, plenty of couples have met in an office setting, (im a girl so im allowed this next line) what if she's the ONE (or at least the best lay you'll ever have)and you pass it up because it's someone from work, pfftt just do it already!!!!!or give me her email and ILL ask her for you

So Loren, where are you working currently? This is a much more serious matter than you seem to think, trust me. Didn't Lathum move down to Texas for this particular job?

Lathum - you could totally be misinterpreting what this girl thinks of you. You even admit that you've got no clue what passes for "flirting in an office". And judging by how often you ask guys on this board for female advice, I'm not so sure that you are very confident in the area. Seriously, do you want to tell possible Mrs. Lathums that I finally asked you out (or I popped the question, or get my relationship advice, etc.) after I asked a bunch of guys on a message board for some advice on the subject?

Start going with your gut or find a better place to ask for advice like I mentioned before. Most women like romanticism, not indecisiveness and lack of confidence.

[BishopMVP]

Originally Posted by sovereignstar

judging by how often you ask guys on this board for female advice, I'm not so sure that you are very confident in the area.

[Loren]

Originally Posted by sovereignstar

So Loren, where are you working currently? This is a much more serious matter than you seem to think, trust me. Didn't Lathum move down to Texas for this particular job?[

I just quit my office job cuz there were too many women working there and thats always baddd:| Why is it more serious, unless they're both in a race for a promotion and she's gonna try to screw him out of it somehow by making him like her and later blackmailing him..I dunno, I prefer straighforwardness, if he's sitting there wondering, forego the stress of it and find out for sure. I know guys usually DO think a girl is coming on to them just by saying HI but if she's really throwing out hints maybe she's just waiting for him to make his move..just think it's better he ask and find out..and asking people he talks to online is no different than asking his drinking buddies to me, but then again I started this relationship online, what do I know..

Originally Posted by Suicane75

A box!@! For the first date?!@!
Cringer is a lucky son of a bitch.

you bet your ass he is