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09-29-2005, 12:35 PM
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#1 | ||
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Banned
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Astoria, NY, USA
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LOOK AT MY STRIPED SHIRT!!!
this is my friends to a tee:
Look at my button down striped shirt! Fucking look at it! This shirt means one thing! I’m coming home with some pussy tonight! That’s right! It’s been a long week at the office and it’s time to blow off a little steam! I am a Junior Vice President! I have business cards that say “Junior Vice President” on them! They’re glossy and magnificent! Here! Have one! Take it!  My boys are coming out with me tonight! They all have striped shirts too! I figure we’ll kick off the night with some Golden Tee! I am going to smack the shit out of that little white ball! It’s going to be so fucking loud! I’ll bet I can drive that pretend golf ball 600 fucking yards tonight! I’m that fucking pumped! I can almost taste those Jager Bombs right now! I fucking love Red Bull! I put it on my God damned cereal! I’m crushing one right now!  I’m thinking about buying a boat this year! I’m gonna fight someone tonight! I pray to God someone makes eye contact with me! I will beat his ass! And God help him if he gets any blood on my striped shirt! If he does, I’ll scrub it out with his dick and some bleach! I mean it! I’m gonna grind on girls asses tonight! You heard me! When I see a group of girls dancing in a circle, I will select the most attractive one and dry hump her until it hurts! I will rub my cock against her so that she can feel my throbbing hard on! I will valet tonight! I will treat the valet with contempt and make sure that he knows that I am superior to him in life! I will tell him to “Take it easy on the brakes, Champ”! I will talk to people I don’t know about my job tonight! They will all know that I am an important man! I will call female bartenders “Babe” and male bartenders “Chief”! When I do not hook up with a girl at that club, I will say that the place is “full of skanks”! We will wait in a long line to go to another bar only to strike out again! I will give up and decide to order a gyro off of a street vendor! I will make fun of him to my friends for being foreign! I will look ridiculous purchasing my gyro because people will be able to tell by my striped shirt and tinted sunglasses that I struck out and am settling for a gyro! I will make one last attempt to hook up by trying to coax two big girls who are also ordering gyros to coming back to my place for “after hours”! When they say no I will make fun of them for being fat! I will leave! When I get home I will go to the bathroom and hold the straight razor to my wrist again! I will gently drag the razor laterally against my vein, making sure not to actually cut myself! I will then go to my room and pass out! I will need some shut eye so that I’ll be ready to fucking party again tomorrow! http://www.thephatphree.com/features...9&LayoutType=1 Last edited by Anthony : 09-29-2005 at 12:46 PM. |
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09-29-2005, 12:56 PM
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#2 |
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lolzcat
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: sans pants
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Damn. I was about to give you credit for the greatest post in history.
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Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com |
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09-29-2005, 12:58 PM
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#3 |
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Banned
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Astoria, NY, USA
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that pic of the guy just makes the entire thing funny. he totally looks like he wants you to look at his shirt.
...and fuck him. |
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09-29-2005, 01:43 PM
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#4 | |
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Coordinator
Join Date: Apr 2005
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Quote:
How was it? |
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09-29-2005, 01:47 PM
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#5 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2001
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But is the guy from a shirt/clothing ad? Wouldn't the whole point be "look at my shirt?"
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"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales |
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09-29-2005, 02:07 PM
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#6 |
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Banned
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Astoria, NY, USA
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who wants to tell rkmsuf that the pic is for illustrative purposes only?
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09-29-2005, 02:08 PM
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#7 |
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Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2001
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I get that but it would have been funnier if it was an actual Roxbury Guy.
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"Don't you have homes?" -- Judge Smales |
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