Front Office Football Central  

Go Back   Front Office Football Central > Main Forums > Off Topic
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read Statistics

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 02-09-2011, 11:48 AM   #451
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
I miss the little smurf. Last post in September 2009.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2011, 01:54 PM   #452
Bigsmooth
College Prospect
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Is it weird to punch one out in the bathroom at work?
Bigsmooth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2011, 02:08 PM   #453
MikeVic
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigsmooth View Post
Is it weird to punch one out in the bathroom at work?

What kind of question is that? Wait, by punch one out you mean #2 and not... something more right?
MikeVic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2011, 02:14 PM   #454
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
Maybe he meant 'rub' one out?
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2011, 02:16 PM   #455
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bigsmooth View Post
Is it weird to punch one out in the bathroom at work?

Depends - do you work in the dairy section of a grocery store?
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2011, 02:37 PM   #456
MikeVic
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Hometown of Canada
Rubbing one out, yes that's wrong! Taking a deuce, no way. That's my amateur opinion.
MikeVic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2011, 03:44 PM   #457
NorvTurnerOverdrive
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Jan 2008
i'd rub one out to lesley stahl.
NorvTurnerOverdrive is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2011, 10:21 PM   #458
Bigsmooth
College Prospect
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Yeah, I meant #3. Sorry but having a big screened smart phone with wifi and google images and a stall...it's on.
Bigsmooth is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-09-2011, 11:31 PM   #459
tucking fypo
H.S. Freshman Team
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Pistol City
I was in a Whataburger in Sausalito, CA, and this guy came in to a stall next to mine and all I heard him saying, in a loud whisper, was "Oh, good God Almighty. Oh good God Almighty." And the funniest thing was that I heard him making deals with God: "Oh, God, if you get this out of me....."

I think the guy was in so much pain that he forgot everything else that was going on and to heck with anyone else that could hear him.
tucking fypo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 06:31 AM   #460
Suburban Rhythm
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
This belongs here...

__________________
"Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?"
"Yeah"
"Cool!!"
Suburban Rhythm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 07:49 AM   #461
Suicane75
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
Also belonging here, an explanation of who the hell those guys are.
Suicane75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 08:04 AM   #462
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
A shit band?
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 08:05 AM   #463
Suicane75
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
That's a crappy reply.
Suicane75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 08:10 AM   #464
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
Flush you.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 08:17 AM   #465
FrogMan
Hattrick Moderator
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Pintendre, Qc, Canada
the Bauer shirt made me think of hockey players, the Staal brothers maybe. *rim shot*

Heh.

FM
__________________
A Black Belt is a White Belt who refused to give up...
follow my story: The real life story of a running frog...
FrogMan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 08:17 AM   #466
Suicane75
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
I'm breaking up.
Suicane75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 08:27 AM   #467
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
Do you mean pinching off?
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 08:54 AM   #468
Suicane75
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
Just drop it. This is starting to stink.
Suicane75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 02-10-2011, 09:45 AM   #469
Suburban Rhythm
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
Quote:
Originally Posted by FrogMan View Post
the Bauer shirt made me think of hockey players, the Staal brothers maybe. *rim shot*

Heh.

FM

We have a winner
__________________
"Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?"
"Yeah"
"Cool!!"
Suburban Rhythm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2011, 07:46 PM   #470
Dodgerchick
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Twice last week my fellow female coworkers have forgotten to flush the toilet. I'm appalled at the way some women leave the restroom... seriously. Paper towels all over the floor, toilets left unflushed, water all over the sink. It's not that hard to pick up paper towels that accidentally fall on the ground.
Dodgerchick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2011, 09:02 PM   #471
rjolley
College Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Roseville, CA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dodgerchick View Post
Twice last week my fellow female coworkers have forgotten to flush the toilet. I'm appalled at the way some women leave the restroom... seriously. Paper towels all over the floor, toilets left unflushed, water all over the sink. It's not that hard to pick up paper towels that accidentally fall on the ground.
Sounds like some guys got into your bathroom.
rjolley is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-25-2011, 09:36 PM   #472
Logan
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NYC
Quote:
Originally Posted by rjolley View Post
Sounds like some guys got into your bathroom.

Very possible I posted this already in this thread...but from living in college dorms, where the bathrooms would only be cleaned daily during the week...by the end of the weekend, the girls' bathroom was a complete abomination compared to the guys'.
Logan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 01:47 AM   #473
britrock88
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Madison, WI
Aah, I fondly recall the upstairs bathroom in the office I interned in a few summers ago. The building was ancient, so it was exempt from the ADA requirement of handicap access to the second floor. But this bathroom was added as part of a renovation. Since it was put in place after ADA, the new upstairs bathroom had to be made handicapped-accessible... even though the second floor wasn't accessible.
britrock88 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 12:57 PM   #474
Dodgerchick
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Bad lighting in the Lady's Room so couldn't take a pic of the splash of water on the sink counter or mirror. And I'll spare the toilet pic.
Attached Images
File Type: jpg towels.jpg (54.1 KB, 409 views)
Dodgerchick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 12:59 PM   #475
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
Looks like a trail. Maybe because of the bad lighting they wanted to make sure they didn't get lost?
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 01:04 PM   #476
Suburban Rhythm
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
I hope someone was in one of the stalls and panicked when they heard your phone snapping pictures.
__________________
"Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?"
"Yeah"
"Cool!!"
Suburban Rhythm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 01:07 PM   #477
jeff061
Grizzled Veteran
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: MA
Hmm, certainly not the work of a man as they are not torn, crumpled and used. They are also organized neatly on the side of the room and not mashed into the floor dead and center.

All in all, that is a mythically clean bathroom. At least compared to my experiences with the men's bathroom.
__________________

jeff061 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 01:58 PM   #478
Dodgerchick
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm View Post
I hope someone was in one of the stalls and panicked when they heard your phone snapping pictures.


I have it on mute... no one will ever know
Dodgerchick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-26-2011, 08:44 PM   #479
Mota
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
We had a floor pee-er in our office in the urinals. He obviously overestimated the length of his appendage and stood too far away, because every day there were puddles of pee on the floor around the urinals. It was gross, it's not fun standing in someone's pee several times a day.

Thankfully one of the guys quit several months ago and just like magic, the floor pee stopped. Guess I know who it was.
Mota is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-28-2011, 10:34 AM   #480
JeeberD
General Manager
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: The Town of Flower Mound
My wife's former office had a "Phantom Pooper" who would semi-regularly drop a deuce on the bathroom floor instead of in the toilet. My wife is in HR and had to do the investigation into this...not one of her more fun investigations.
__________________
UTEP Miners!!!

I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO
JeeberD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-28-2011, 11:05 AM   #481
Dodgerchick
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeeberD View Post
My wife's former office had a "Phantom Pooper" who would semi-regularly drop a deuce on the bathroom floor instead of in the toilet. My wife is in HR and had to do the investigation into this...not one of her more fun investigations.

omg, wtf is wrong with people?
Dodgerchick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-28-2011, 11:17 AM   #482
Sun Tzu
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: In the thick of it.
This thread makes me miss HA.
__________________
I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon.
Sun Tzu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2011, 07:16 AM   #483
Easy Mac
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Here
Just took a crap at home. When I was done, I could literally not see any water in the bowl, that's how much I shit. I don't think I've ever shit that much. And I didn't even feel bad, just needed to shit. It took three flushes to get it all down, not including the cleanup. I really should have weighed myself before and after.
Easy Mac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2011, 09:26 PM   #484
Mota
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
That sounds like you almost needed to do a mid-push flush to prevent the clogging.
Mota is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2011, 09:33 PM   #485
molson
General Manager
 
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: The Mountains
Quote:
Originally Posted by Easy Mac View Post
Just took a crap at home. When I was done, I could literally not see any water in the bowl, that's how much I shit. I don't think I've ever shit that much. And I didn't even feel bad, just needed to shit. It took three flushes to get it all down, not including the cleanup. I really should have weighed myself before and after.

I can't believe I'm asking this, but...there's no story behind this? Taco Bell? Oat Bran Pretzels? One of those "cleansing" products?
molson is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2011, 09:39 PM   #486
PackerFanatic
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Appleton, WI
Quote:
Originally Posted by molson View Post
I can't believe I'm asking this, but...there's no story behind this? Taco Bell? Oat Bran Pretzels? One of those "cleansing" products?

lol
PackerFanatic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2011, 09:46 PM   #487
SteveMax58
College Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
SteveMax58 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2011, 09:58 PM   #488
SteveMax58
College Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by Easy Mac View Post
Just took a crap at home. When I was done, I could literally not see any water in the bowl, that's how much I shit. I don't think I've ever shit that much. And I didn't even feel bad, just needed to shit. It took three flushes to get it all down, not including the cleanup. I really should have weighed myself before and after.
Look familiar?

SteveMax58 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-22-2011, 10:59 PM   #489
Sun Tzu
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: In the thick of it.
Fuck.
__________________
I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon.
Sun Tzu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-23-2011, 11:48 PM   #490
Mustang
Grizzled Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
So.. I walk into the bathroom today at work and a guy is walking out of the stall and I walk to the urinal (which is behind a wall divider to the sinks). I'm taking a piss, and I hear odd sounds coming from the sink. I thought he was brushing his teeth or something. When I'm done, I zip up and go to the sink to wash up. The guy has soap up to his elbows, is hunched down in the sink with his arms laying in the sink lathering up like he is going into surgery like Hawkeye. I turn the water on and I'm rinsing up and he pauses, looks at me and gives me a dirty look and sighs. Not thinking much of it, I turn the water off, grab a paper towel, dry up and start to walk out the door when the guy mouths off about me needing to wash up.

Dude.. seriously?

I hope he was a germophobe because if not, I seriously do not want to know why the hell he needed to scrub up to the elbows after coming out of the stall.
__________________
You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its...

Last edited by Mustang : 09-23-2011 at 11:48 PM.
Mustang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2011, 12:56 AM   #491
stevew
Hall Of Famer
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
He probably thought you were also fisting Goatse.
stevew is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-2011, 09:50 PM   #492
Mota
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mustang View Post
So.. I walk into the bathroom today at work and a guy is walking out of the stall and I walk to the urinal (which is behind a wall divider to the sinks). I'm taking a piss, and I hear odd sounds coming from the sink. I thought he was brushing his teeth or something. When I'm done, I zip up and go to the sink to wash up. The guy has soap up to his elbows, is hunched down in the sink with his arms laying in the sink lathering up like he is going into surgery like Hawkeye. I turn the water on and I'm rinsing up and he pauses, looks at me and gives me a dirty look and sighs. Not thinking much of it, I turn the water off, grab a paper towel, dry up and start to walk out the door when the guy mouths off about me needing to wash up.

Dude.. seriously?

I hope he was a germophobe because if not, I seriously do not want to know why the hell he needed to scrub up to the elbows after coming out of the stall.

I have a "surgeon" in my building as well. He must spend 5 minutes washing his hands, and arms, and then fiddling in front of the mirror before leaving the washroom. Maybe he's just staring in the mirror at those who are going to the washroom.
Mota is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-11-2011, 06:29 PM   #493
DanGarion
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The Great Northwest
Check out this thesis paper on "The Urinal Problem"...

Quote:
Abstract. A man walks into a men's room and observes n empty uri-
nals. Which urinal should he pick so as to maximize his chances of main-
taining privacy, i.e., minimize the chance that someone will occupy a
urinal beside him? In this paper, we attempt to answer this question
under a variety of models for standard men's room behavior. Our results
suggest that for the most part one should probably choose the urinal fur-
thest from the door (with some interesting exceptions). We also suggest
a number of variations on the problem that lead to many open problems

http://people.scs.carleton.ca/~krana...ers/urinal.pdf
__________________
Los Angeles Dodgers
Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit!
DON'T REPORT ME BRO!
DanGarion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2011, 07:26 AM   #494
Dodgerchick
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Why do hot farts smell more?
Dodgerchick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-25-2011, 12:09 PM   #495
albionmoonlight
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: North Carolina
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dodgerchick View Post
Why do hot farts smell more?

Fart gas is one of two things--swallowed air or gas produced by gut bacteria. Swallowed air has no real smell. Gut bacteria farts stink. Cooler farts are more likely to be swallowed air. Hot farts are more likely to have been produced by gut bacteria.
albionmoonlight is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 01:57 PM   #496
spleen1015
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
So, I head into the restroom to take a leak today. Both of the urinals were occupied, so I go into the stall right next to them.

As I am standing there doing my business, the guy at the urinal next to my stall finishes and someone else steps up to the plate. As this dude is stepping up, he steps on my foot.

Dude! I'm in the stall, my foot is about 8 inches or so inside the stall and this guy steps on my foot. How is that shit possible?
spleen1015 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 02:03 PM   #497
Autumn
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Bath, ME
http://abcnews.go.com/US/story?id=35...1#.TwNQ2_lYV8E
Autumn is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 02:22 PM   #498
Logan
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NYC
I'm not clicking the link but that's some Larry Craig shit right there I assume.
Logan is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 01-03-2012, 02:41 PM   #499
sterlingice
Hall Of Famer
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
Winner!

SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out!

Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!"
Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"


sterlingice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-14-2012, 03:42 PM   #500
Easy Mac
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Here
I need a wall socket at the stall at work for as much as I'm using it today. My stomach is not enjoying lunch.
Easy Mac is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:33 PM.



Powered by vBulletin Version 3.6.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.