Random Thoughts That Don't Deserve Their Own Thread Go Here

[Pumpy Tudors]

Speaking of real-life conversations only (not online):

I think there are maybe two people in the entire world whose fantasy football teams I am interested in. To anyone besides those two people, I don't care about your fantasy football team. I don't care who you drafted. I don't care who your next opponent has. I don't care which players you should keep from last year. I don't care what scoring system your league has. I cared about fantasy football for a long time. I don't care anymore. I stopped playing it because I was no longer interested. If I was willing to give up my own teams because I stopped caring, why would your team be important to me?

[britrock88]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

Speaking of real-life conversations only (not online):

I think there are maybe two people in the entire world whose fantasy football teams I am interested in. To anyone besides those two people, I don't care about your fantasy football team. I don't care who you drafted. I don't care who your next opponent has. I don't care which players you should keep from last year. I don't care what scoring system your league has. I cared about fantasy football for a long time. I don't care anymore. I stopped playing it because I was no longer interested. If I was willing to give up my own teams because I stopped caring, why would your team be important to me?

+1.

Though I was asked to draft for a friend of a friend last night... I suppose a stray draft (and forget!) is the kind of thing I can enjoy again, now that I've gone at least five years without having taken part in fantasy football.

[RainMaker]

I am about to spend $170 on a remote control. I don't know if I should be excited about this or ashamed of myself.

[JediKooter]

Does it suck your dick or will your dick get sucked if you have that remote?

This is not rocket science.

[MacroGuru]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Does it suck your dick or will your dick get sucked if you have that remote?

This is not rocket science.

No but it can turn on the equipment if you had it...to do that...see the hooker attachment or girlfriend attachment...

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

No but it can turn on the equipment if you had it...to do that...see the hooker attachment or girlfriend attachment...

I'll pay the extra 20 bucks for the girlfriend attachment if they have it at Best Buy, but, the moment they try to upsell me, I'm outta there.

[GrantDawg]

MTV is coming to film at my daughters high-school. I am just glad it is not "16 and Pregnant."

[QuikSand]

So, I know a guy professionally, work with him occasionally, and he has a semi-strange habit. He tends to walk or stand around with his left arm a bit behind his back, reaching behind his own back to hold onto his right arm near the elbow (I understand this is a strange posture to describe in text). It's just some sort or nervous tic, I guess... he does it fairly often when he's idle.

It's sort of funny, since when doing so, it can give someone seeing or approaching him that momentary sense of "hey... is that dude hiding an arm, or missing an arm???" -- which as an aside I find to be an oddly entertaining moment when it happens to me as an observer.

Anyhow, the weird twist is that this guy, in his professional capacity, more or less replaced another guy (slightly different job, but within a stone's throw for storytelling purposes) of a guy who actually was missing most of an arm.

So, it's weird enough if you don't know him and the apparently missing arm seems odd. But doubly so if you know his predecessor, and maybe you're thinking "what, do they only hire one-armed guys over there?"

*shurg*

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

He tends to walk or stand around with his left arm a bit behind his back, reaching behind his own back to hold onto his right arm near the elbow (I understand this is a strange posture to describe in text).

I'm pretty sure I got what you meant immediately. I've known several people through the years who did the same kind of thing, although not frequently enough (apparently) that I ever gave it much thought.

The kicker about his predecessor however, well, that one I simply can't come close to touching.

[DougW]

So, my super-hero obsessed 4 year old learned the Pledge of Allegiance in pre-school today. I was surprised to find it has changed since I learned it.


"I pledge allegiance, under God, TO CAPTAIN AMERICA !!"

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by DougW

So, my super-hero obsessed 4 year old learned the Pledge of Allegiance in pre-school today. I was surprised to find it has changed since I learned it. "I pledge allegiance, under God, TO CAPTAIN AMERICA !!"

LMAO, that's beautiful.

[mckerney]

Originally Posted by DougW

So, my super-hero obsessed 4 year old learned the Pledge of Allegiance in pre-school today. I was surprised to find it has changed since I learned it.


"I pledge allegiance, under God, TO CAPTAIN AMERICA !!"

Congress changed it a few years ago.

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by GrantDawg

MTV is coming to film at my daughters high-school. I am just glad it is not "16 and Pregnant."

Maybe they are making a sequel, "17 and Pregnant". Or even forbid, a prequel.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

The kicker about his predecessor however, well, that one I simply can't come close to touching.

Neither could his predecessor.

[stevew]

Maybe he was trained so well that he can easily do his job with one hand tied behind his back.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Tonight brought one of the most unlikely FB connections I've ever had.

A third cousin who I've never met (not sure that either of us could have sworn that the other even existed until now) who found me on Facebook via our only mutual FB connection: a double second cousin of mine from the opposite side of my family, one that she coincidentally happened to grow up with.

Maybe I'm too easily shocked & this is more common than I realize but it really blows my mind (in a good way).

[Mustang]

Going to bed tonight my daughter informed me that "I want daddy to fart like this.. pffffttt fffft plllffffttttt"

Not a hell of alot you can do with that other than mark it down on a book and bring it back up when she is having a sleepover with friends. "Hey.. remember that request when you were 4?"

[thesloppy]

Hold on: in the Netherlands, Santa is from Spain and keeps a slave?

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by thesloppy

Hold on: in the Netherlands, Santa is from Spain and keeps a slave?

That's a new one on me

SI

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

So, I know a guy professionally, work with him occasionally, and he has a semi-strange habit. He tends to walk or stand around with his left arm a bit behind his back, reaching behind his own back to hold onto his right arm near the elbow (I understand this is a strange posture to describe in text). It's just some sort or nervous tic, I guess... he does it fairly often when he's idle.

It's sort of funny, since when doing so, it can give someone seeing or approaching him that momentary sense of "hey... is that dude hiding an arm, or missing an arm???" -- which as an aside I find to be an oddly entertaining moment when it happens to me as an observer.

Anyhow, the weird twist is that this guy, in his professional capacity, more or less replaced another guy (slightly different job, but within a stone's throw for storytelling purposes) of a guy who actually was missing most of an arm.

So, it's weird enough if you don't know him and the apparently missing arm seems odd. But doubly so if you know his predecessor, and maybe you're thinking "what, do they only hire one-armed guys over there?"

*shurg*

I had no idea QS was a member of Def Leppard

[Ksyrup]

So I see Nancy Grace is going with the tried-and-true method to change her public image - Dancing with the Stars. I hope she gets voted off the first week. An injury might be even better.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

So I see Nancy Grace is going with the tried-and-true method to change her public image - Dancing with the Stars. I hope she gets voted off the first week. An injury might be even better.

Haters gonna hate.

She's probably the most likable person in the bunch (not withstanding the two I've never heard of).

[jeff061]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Haters gonna hate.

She's probably the most likable person in the bunch (not withstanding the two I've never heard of).

I think she may be the most unlikeable person on the planet. There are serial killers I'd rather hang out with than her. I wonder if she's capable of a light moment?

[Ksyrup]

I didn't really pay attention to anyone else who is going to be on the show. I'm just talking about her. She is awful. I hope whatever PR thing she is going for completely backfires in her face.

[jeff061]

I think she might eat the face off one of the judges.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by jeff061

I wonder if she's capable of a light moment?

Just FTR, my wife's a fan, I typically catch the show largely by passing through the room but if you're wondering that ten you haven't watched her show much.

The repetitive nature of the show turns me off but she's at her happiest when she's tearing some asshole a new one. Since the targets tend to be deserving, I'm not really seeing a problem with that. She's not on air to be light & fluffy, she's there to do pretty much what I described, that's her job. Well-timed sarcasm is a light moment with her, that's the entertainment value.

[GrantDawg]

Originally Posted by Mustang

Maybe they are making a sequel, "17 and Pregnant". Or even forbid, a prequel.

Lol. No, they are doing "Made." She is going to try out for it, and is very excited.

[jeff061]

I've obviously seen the clips, which certainly paint her in a poor light. But the few times I'm channel surfing and see her show on I've watched to see if she's any different in context and I've yet to see she is.

That said, no, I've never remotely watched an entire show start to finish.

[Ksyrup]

I hate the bitch because she makes my skin crawl with how over-the-top sensational she is, and the fact that she's acting like the scummiest news reporter of all-time in dealing with something as awful as child disappearances, etc., just makes it that much worse.

She is the antithesis of responsible reporting. And the fact that she cloaks her BS delivery and shtick under the guise of doing good makes me want to vomit. God forbid, if one of my girls went missing, I'd honestly have a huge dilemma in deciding whether I'd want to appear on her show.

[JediKooter]

I hate it when I tell someone that the earliest I can do something for them is on Thursday and they text message me on Tuesday (today), asking if we can do a test run tonight. Seriously? What part of "the earliest", do people not understand? I can't magically conjure up the software from the distributor to make it happen two days before the earliest I would be able to under normal conditions. Plus, you're not paying me. So, you will wait until Thursday and I might text you back today to let you know that it won't be until Thursday.

[Logan]

Just got the following email from someone retiring. It was sent agency-wide. Subject line was: "(Her name)'s Retirement".

After almost 39 years of Federal Service, I will retire on September 2. I cannot say that I have enjoyed working at OCC because I feel that everyday I walked into the OCC Buildings, I was reminded that I was Black. Fortunately, I am highly skilled and educated and this has been somewhat of an equalizer. I could tell you some of the problems that I have encountered, such as illegally having my home mail re-routed to another employees house and having to spend many hours dealing with Treasury's Inspector General's Office, the Postal Service, and OCC CIPs on this issue. I have experienced being rotated into a position of lesser authority, being excluded from group awards, omitted from the OCC Telephone Book or having my Title incorrectly stated on numerous occasions. I found all of these sabotage attempts humorous. And, the funniest of all was when my Retirement Cake was not ordered on time by the Conference Office to arrive in time for the Celebration that had to be cancelled and I am told that this has never happened before. Well, I was sure that it had never happened before and my only hope was that it would not happen again. It has been seven days and I have yet to receive an apology from OMS Management. I know some of you know exactly what I am talking about and so I say to you that what does not kill you makes you stronger. I am truly stronger because of my time at OCC. I have enjoyed working with a FEW of you and you will be missed. As Oprah Winfrey has said many times, I am at a point where "preparation meets opportunity". Good bye and good luck!

[spleen1015]

Originally Posted by Logan

Just got the following email from someone retiring. It was sent agency-wide. Subject line was: "(Her name)'s Retirement".

I think I may have worked with this person about 12-13 years ago.

[Ksyrup]

30 minutes later:

"I was just informed by HR that my retirement date was calculated incorrectly. I would like to retract my previous email. White Devils, please disregard. Thank you."

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Logan

Just got the following email from someone retiring. It was sent agency-wide. Subject line was: "(Her name)'s Retirement".

Be the first to reply-all with "Please remove me from this distribution list"

[Coffee Warlord]

Speaking of which.

When did mailing lists become distribution lists?

[DataKing]

Originally Posted by Coffee Warlord

Speaking of which.

When did mailing lists become distribution lists?

The moment someone failed to understand the difference between the two.

[DanGarion]

Someone should reply that it wasn't because she was black it was because she sounds like she is a fucking bitch.

[MacroGuru]

So I was out at a client site today which is a local community college...and there were some students walking around campus trying to finalize their schedules and learn where everything is located. If they dress like that when they go out or to parties...I just might go back to school and be the dirty old man in their psych class...

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Logan

Just got the following email from someone retiring. It was sent agency-wide. Subject line was: "(Her name)'s Retirement".

wow

[jeff061]

In her defense. I always order cakes and delay them for people I have a racial dislike for.

[cuervo72]

I bet when it finally does come, the cake will be white.

[jeff061]

The cake never comes. It's a lie.

[stevew]

They were probably like
1. If we order a chocolate cake, it's obviously racist
2. If we order a white cake with chocolate frosting, that's also racist
3. If we order a carrot cake, we're obviously racist cause we avoided the whole chocolate/vanilla thing
4. Fuck it. No cake.

[gstelmack]

Sounds like the boss from Wanted.

[DataKing]

Red velvet cake...racist...
Yellow lemon cake...racist...
Devil's Food cake...doubly bad coming from the White Devils...

[JediKooter]

Should have gotten a pie instead.

[Logan]

Well done gents.

[Rizon]

I hate when I ask for something simple and it never gets done.

We have a company we help out a lot and I asked for a copy of a document. It's literally 20 feet from this person's desk. I just wanted one page scanned and emailed. Total estimated time: 60 seconds max.

It's been 5 hours since I asked (and yes they got my message).

It's also funny because I use to work there. So I know they're not too busy.

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Should have gotten a pie instead.

No, go ice cream.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

No, go ice cream.

Don't think I'd want to be around if that was served.