Saying goodbye to a beloved dog

[Castlerock]

Hate seeing this thread bumped. Loved your tribute.

So sorry.

[timmae]

Aegon sounded like a great dog... and I know he had a great friend in life providing for him. Thoughts are with you bud... I'll toast to Aegon tonight.

[BYU 14]

So sorry HB

[claphamsa]

[General Mike]

[MizzouRah]

so sorry!

[Edward64]

Nice tribute.

[GoldenEagle]

This is Patches. She was an amazing dog.



We found her when she was a puppy. My wife coached softball for a local high school, and one of her players found the puppy wondering around outside the field. My wife brought her home. Our plan was to take her to the shelter the next day. But they told us that since it looked she had pit in her, she would be put down. We decided to keep her and she became dog #4 of our family.

Loyalty was her best trait and she had it in bunches. She was my dog. She would follow me anywhere I asked her to go. She loved to get in the car and go for rides. When we moved to our new house, she could easily clear the 6ft tall wooden fence and would do it on a routine basis. But she never ran off. I would simply open the garage door and most of the time she would be there, waiting to come back in.

She loved her rubber ball. She would always have it in the backyard with her. She also knew several tricks. My favorite one was when I would yell "BANG" and she would fall to the ground dramatically like she had been shot. I would award her with a belly rub, which she loved getting.

I found her earlier Monday morning, breathing heavily. She had been sick over the weekend but we didn't think much of it because our German Shepard had just gotten over something similar. I picked her up and put her in bed with me and stayed up with her. She died with my arm around her. In a way, it was a beautiful way to go.

That is the part of her of that I want to remember. But I can't help but to think she left us to early. She was only eight and a half. I should have seen the signs that she was sick and taking her to the vet on Saturday. We even went for a car ride Saturday morning, so it would have easy to do. I know everyone will say that we gave her a great life and that is true. But that doesn't help me.

We went for a walk together Friday morning with a foster dog. She was ok then, but at the end of the walk she lagged way behind me. That should have clued me in. Maybe something bit her during that. I guess I will never know.

We have been fostering dogs since April of this year. It has been a great and rewarding experience. We have the time, space, and financial means to do so. We have saved 7 dogs and sent them to forever homes in the Northeast. If we didn't step in, these dogs would have been put in bad situations that they probably would have never gotten out of. We have also helped raise money for an organization that desperately needed it.

But Patches was an alpha dog and she hated when we brought in new dogs. I can't help but to think it added to her stress level and contributed to her death. I actually thought the reason she moped around on Friday and Saturday was because we just got in a new batch of four puppies in. That contributed to me missing the sign that she needed vet attention.

My heart is torn. My wife and I have basically committed our lives to saving dogs. We had 8 of our own before Patches and Bear died. We have several fosters in the house including the four puppies. We want to keep doing it. But Patches's death feels wrong and completely preventable.

[molson]

Originally Posted by GoldenEagle

My heart is torn. My wife and I have basically committed our lives to saving dogs.

When you put yourself out there like to help others, I think you're signing up for some heartbreak, stress, grueling decisions, etc. It's inevitable, and it's part of what makes real generosity so difficult. It's what makes doing what you've done so important, because it's not easy and not everyone wants to do it.

There's only so far any of us can go with being that vulnerable. We're human, we have limits. But reaching that place where you're close to your limits and where you're really struggling with how much you can do says a lot about your character. You've reached a stressful place that you can only reach when you've done a lot of good.

[Honolulu_Blue]

I'm really sorry for your loss, GoldenEagle. Patches sounded like a great dog.

Having just gone through it - heck, I'm still in the midst of it - I know just how painful a loss it is.

I echo everything molson said. You're doing great, important stuff and that can be hard and takes sacrifices.

Thanks to you and your wife for investing all of that time, energy, emotion, and everything else that's required.

[claphamsa]

good on you, more people need to help out in the world....

[Sweed]

So sorry GoldenEagle for your loss. Patches sounds like a great dog!

You did give her a great home and on top of that rescued other dogs. Did your divided attention in some way cause you missing signs of sickness? I don't think you'll ever know for sure. What you can be proud of is your treatment, compassion, and dedication to both having and saving dogs.

Without your and your wife's big hearts Patches never has a home nor do 7 other dogs in forever homes. I cried for Patches as I read your post, what a great story. I also cried for the dogs you have saved thinking of the lives they now have. I sincerely hope time heals your pain....

[timmae]

Thoughts are with you GE.. Patches sounds like an awesome dog, glad you guys found each other. Don't let thoughts of what could have happened cloud your generosity for the future. There are new possibilities which it'd be a shame to pass up. Keep fighting the good fight. My wife and I are a foster forever for our little stray cat. He's awesome too!

[claphamsa]

RIP JD, I first thought he may have a UTI 3 weeks ago, turns out he had a tumor under his tongue...never really explained the symptoms that concerned me...but they are all irrelevant now. he was a pure bred Maine Coon and the rarely live long enough for cancer. Im just numb. pored myself a 3X of the Glenlivet 18.

[Sweed]

Originally Posted by claphamsa

RIP JD, I first thought he may have a UTI 3 weeks ago, turns out he had a tumor under his tongue...never really explained the symptoms that concerned me...but they are all irrelevant now. he was a pure bred Maine Coon and the rarely live long enough for cancer. Im just numb. pored myself a 3X of the Glenlivet 18.

Sorry for your loss claphamsa.

[MizzouRah]

Sorry for your loss claphamsa

[JonInMiddleGA]

I know the thread title says "dog" but I'm going to include my feline here rather than start another thread.

One of those nearly unbearable days, as we had to say goodbye to our eldest cat Coal. Age and long term health issues combined to bring his time with us to an end.

He was the most noble cat I've ever known, with character that was unforgettable. How he learned & matured after we rescued him from the shelter, it'll always stay with me. He learned to trust & love again, and how to accept love, and it was a joy to be a part of.

He wasn't easy, by any mean, and Lord knows we had our share of contentious moments ... but he was magnificent beyond all else & much loved.

I am truly grateful for answered prayers, because despite his condition and the horrible nature of the day, he was comfortable throughout, restful. The vet described the scenario as the most serene she'd ever witnessed. For him, that's what I hoped & prayed for most of all.

Love you buddy, see you on the other side.

Rest in peace Coal (2001-2016)

[BYU 14]

Sorry for your loss JIMGA

[claphamsa]

sorry for your loss

[Sweed]

Sorry for your loss JIMGA.

[cuervo72]

Sorry, Jon.

[thesloppy]

[MizzouRah]

Sad to hear

[Thomkal]

sorry for your loss Jon. I have a cat too, so I can sympathesize.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I'll just be honest, I finally lost it last night about 6 or so. That's why I slept from 630p til around 11p.

That's the third time I've had a pet literally die in my arms, (not counting our Callie who was put to sleep after her cancer returned with a vengeance). I'm truly thankful beyond all words that it was so peaceful for him. The other two were decidedly not peaceful, and I'm not sure there are many days where I don't recall one incident or the other, if not both.

Think what you will of me on any number of scores but one thing I take as seriously as anything in the world is the notion of responsibility toward animals in our care. And these situations are ... hard doesn't even begin.

My thanks for the support. He really was a grand animal in many ways, if nothing else I wanted to give him just a little bit of his due here. He deserved that & a lot more.

[chinaski]

Had to put my dog to sleep yesterday, after 17 loving years. That, coupled with the election, is making life reaaaaal hard. Fuck everything.

[MizzouRah]

So sorry for your loss a long life though, for sure and great parents I'm sure of!

[claphamsa]

[Edward64]

Condolences.

[samifan24]

So sorry for your loss. Dogs are beloved members of the family and rightfully so. Thinking of you and your family.

[JonInMiddleGA]

My condolences Chin.

[Sweed]

Condolences Chinaski.

[chinaski]

Thanks fellas, means a lot. Feeling better today, no tears! But I keep getting up to let her out, thats a bit rough.

[Fidatelo]

Over 12.5 years ago we picked up an Old English Sheepdog puppy from a UPS hangar by the airport (she was air-mailed from Saskatchewan). Today I'm afraid that Molly isn't going to see her 13th birthday in March, and quite possibly won't make it to the end of this month.

Her back legs having been going for a couple years now, and she has developed some reasonably bad anxiety over the years as well. This spring we had the vet put her on medications for her legs and the anxiety. At first they zonked her out completely and she would wake up in a puddle of her own urine. Then after a week or two she adjusted, and for a time the anxiety meds seemed to help, at least a little. But as the summer wore on her legs kept getting worse and the anxiety returned.

So near the end of August we took her off the meds and she made a fairly noticeable turnaround almost immediately. The anxiety didn't really change (maybe a slight improvement) but her legs seemed to get stronger throughout the fall, and by early December she really did seem to have turned the clock back a year or more.

Unfortunately you can't outrun father time. She's been getting a bit more wobbly again over the past few weeks. Slipping on our hardwood floors more often and unable to get up once in awhile. Struggling with the (carpeted) stairs up from the basement.

Last night she fell going up those stairs. I heard the thump and ran over to see her looking up at me from the midpoint, splayed out clinging on. I ran down and tried to begin lifting her, which at almost 100lbs isn't super easy. She must not have liked where I was lifting and began to struggle, shaking me off and then falling down the stairs, rolling into a door at the bottom. I sat with her for a few minutes as she shook and then carried her up to the top.

Since the fall last night she is shakier than ever. Twice in the night she went outside (she gets hot) and then couldn't get up off the deck to come in. She is at about 15% for the day on trying to get up on the hardwoods without assistance, and has collapsed onto them a few times from a standing position. She can go down the stairs, which she does frequently because she likes the carpet down there, but won't even attempt to come up now, just standing crying until I come and carry her.

I'm not sure what to do. I don't want to put her to sleep, but it's hard to see another option if she doesn't improve. The anxiety has been tough on all of us for a long time now, as she spends the evenings stressed out, going in and out of the house about 30 times (or more). Now, though, I can't leave her at home alone for hours while I'm at work knowing she's likely to not be able to get up off the floor. I cant work from home every day, either. And no one else in the house can carry her so we can't even take shifts or anything.

And yet the guilt of making that decision is tearing me apart. I see pictures of dogs with little wagon-wheel setups for their back legs and I think maybe I'm just a bad person for thinking that kind of thing can't possibly work for us and our giant dog and our two-careers. I feel like maybe a better dog owner would be able to calm her, or maybe that something about me or our family has caused the anxiety in the first place. When I see her sleeping like she is now I wonder if everything is really that bad in her view, and how can I take away her life without truly knowing.

[thesloppy]

Aww, sorry for your struggles Fidatelo. About the only helpful thoughts I can offer is maybe getting some cheap runners/rugs for the hardwood areas to keep her from slipping as much and give her more traction/confidence in those areas?

[Fidatelo]

Originally Posted by thesloppy

Aww, sorry for your struggles Fidatelo. About the only helpful thoughts I can offer is maybe getting some cheap runners/rugs for the hardwood areas to keep her from slipping as much and give her more traction/confidence in those areas?

I suppose that could help. However a part of the problem is that she likes to sleep on the hardwoods because they are cool. We have a big comfy doggy bed by the window for her but she hardly uses it because she gets too warm (even when shaved in the spring and fall). There is also a carpet by the front door but she only lies there sometimes. She likes the basement because the carpet is cozy but the temperature is cool.

I imagine she would walk on the runners but probably lie down on the floor, though I guess the only way to know is to try.

[Edward64]

Our Dalmatian got to the point where she could not go up or down stairs. She couldn't go down the back deck stairs to our fenced-in backyard so we built a small wooden ramp for her to go out the garage 2 step stairs and out the front. It did get to the point where we had to help her up/down the ramp also.

She had epileptic seizures and the vet gave some medicine that controlled it but I think it made her drugged up. We did take her off the medication and she seemed better but the seizures came back. Ultimately we took her to the vet and put her to sleep.

I slept on the carpet beside her in the final days. I like to think it gave her a sense of comfort. She always liked to snuggle (unlike our current Lab) and so I would watch TV on the carpet beside her (didn't want her on the sofa).

Wife and I said in retrospect that we should probably have put her to sleep 4-6 months earlier.

I know there's no easy answer and you are going to have to make the call when the time is right or not.

[BYU 14]

Man, so sorry to hear this. It is a gut wrenching thing to go through, as there are so many emotions involved.

I know they make shoes that may help her with slipping. Wishing you all the best my friend.

[thesloppy]

Depending where you are on the wacky/desperate scale, there are a lot of folks who have claimed some level of success from giving their dog THC/CBD cannabis oil for many fatal ailments (though mostly skin cancer, epilepsy/seizures and pain).

[claphamsa]

that sucks, she will tell you when its time to go...just keep her as comfortable as possible until then

[MizzouRah]

So sorry.. it can be so tough. I'm sure whatever you decide to do, it will be the right choice.

[Fidatelo]

Last week we made the decision, and on Friday we said goodbye. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I still keep seeing her in places in the house out of the corner of my eye, or catching myself moving food or kids toys up to high surfaces before realizing they aren't at risk of a devouring anymore.

RIP Molly

[Honolulu_Blue]

Originally Posted by Fidatelo

Last week we made the decision, and on Friday we said goodbye. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I still keep seeing her in places in the house out of the corner of my eye, or catching myself moving food or kids toys up to high surfaces before realizing they aren't at risk of a devouring anymore.

RIP Molly

That sucks, Fidatelo. I know the pain, the sorrow, and how hard a decision that is, but know you made the right choice. It didn't sound like Molly was capable of enjoying much anymore and know that you and your family gave her a pretty incredible one.

I kept seeing my dog out of the corner of my eye for weeks after he passed.

All the best to you and your family.

[Thomkal]

Very sorry about your loss Fidatelo. But it does sound like you made the right decision for all involved.

[BYU 14]

So sorry to hear buddy, there is never anything easy about having to do this and while the memories will always be there to make you smile, they always leave you wishing there was more. I though I had finally come to grips with losing our Boxer this past August, but just Monday I was out doing some cardio and thought about him and broke into tears in the middle of my run.

Wishing you comfort through the healing process my friend.

[Butter]

Sorry about your loss. Thanks for the picture. I know sharing my dog's story with others helped after the fact, hopefully it will for you also knowing that other people care about what you're going through.

[MizzouRah]

Sorry for your loss

[claphamsa]

:'(

[General Mike]

Hayley the dog passed away overnight. I was kind of resigned to her being near the end and we were going to take her to the vet to discuss putting her to sleep, but I guess God answered my prayers to end her suffering.

[molson]

Sorry to hear about Hayley....was this the three-legged dog you posted about a few years back?

(I couldn't believe I remembered that, I went back into that thread to confirm that was you - on the other hand though, I tend to remember peoples' dogs far more then their kids, both in real life and on the internet).

And ya, when your dog reaches the end you can't help but go through the different scenarios in your mind for what the end will be like....I'm glad Hayley was able to pass in a way that minimized her stress and suffering and relieved you of those end-of-life decisions.