Online dating

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Rizon

1. She is on an internet dating site.
2. See #1
3. See #2
4. See #3
5. See #4

Where'd you meet your wife?

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Where'd you meet your wife?

In person through a friend.

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

I'm pretty sure my profile isn't the best, but, I don't think it's bad. We are our own worst self accessors though in my opinion. So maybe it does suck. All my pics are fairly recent within the last year or two.

The bad thing about women, which they must have picked up from some stupid Cosmo mag, is that they look for every possible reason to ELIMINATE you from contention. In person you have chances to adjust and make saves, but an online profile is like a sitting duck surrounded by 500,000 tons of TNT.

[sabotai]

I read an article on that not too long ago, and for online it applies to both sexes. When you meet in person, you are willing to overlook minor flaws, but when it comes to online profiles, one flaw, no matter how minor, eliminates the person almost immediately.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Another one contacted me. I'm trying to figure out if there are any red flags here.

1. Very attractive.
2. 19 years old (same as my kid)
3. Just dumped by her boyfriend yesterday.
4. Told by him she has until October 1st to get her stuff out of his place.
5. Is considering moving to another state to live with a guy she has only had online dealings with. She "met" him off Craigslist.
6. Wants to be a nude model.
7. Sent me a nude pic.
8. Is looking for a friend.

I have to question any woman that says she is seeking a friend.

[sabotai]

Nope, no red flags there. You're good to go.

[Izulde]

Looking for a friend = gold digger who will cocktease and friendzone the fuck out of you.

[bbor]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

Another one contacted me. I'm trying to figure out if there are any red flags here.

1. Very attractive.
2. 19 years old (same as my kid)
3. Just dumped by her boyfriend yesterday.
4. Told by him she has until October 1st to get her stuff out of his place.
5. Is considering moving to another state to live with a guy she has only had online dealings with. She "met" him off Craigslist.
6. Wants to be a nude model.
7. Sent me a nude pic.
8. Is looking for a friend.

I have to question any woman that says she is seeking a friend.

pixplskthx

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Rizon

In person through a friend.

You ruined my joke...

We need to work on our timing.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Comey

Unfortunately, it didn't quite work out. She was really upset about it, but she said she couldn't reciprocate what I was bringing to the table. That's understandable. Oddly enough, that happened last Sunday...we went back to normal (which is talking all day) on Monday. It's a switch, but it's fine. I made my peace with that, as I believe it's all about the experience. I would rather have had the experience than not, and, therefore, I'm grateful.

I'm not sure why I did this, but I wrote someone a little earlier this week...perhaps it was just a pick-me-up or what, I don't know. Anyway, this person has surprised...considerably so. She's written me novels (which I like very much), and wishes to meet next weekend. I think that will happen...I hold out no hopes or expectations, but who knows what'll happen.

Did I miss a post? Was this the one girl you met where everything seemed so perfect? What happened?

[Comey]

Life happens. Everything seemed that way...guess it just wasn't. She was pretty torn up about it, too...oh well. ; )

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Rizon

1. She is on an internet dating site.
2. See #1
3. See #2
4. See #3
5. See #4

Tell us how you really feel about internet dating...

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Comey

Life happens. Everything seemed that way...guess it just wasn't. She was pretty torn up about it, too...oh well. ; )

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Comey

Life happens. Everything seemed that way...guess it just wasn't. She was pretty torn up about it, too...oh well. ; )

Sounds like you left her. Aw, and we were all rooting for you.

But I guess if someone's not the right person in the right situation, you move on.

SI

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Rizon

The bad thing about women, which they must have picked up from some stupid Cosmo mag, is that they look for every possible reason to ELIMINATE you from contention. In person you have chances to adjust and make saves, but an online profile is like a sitting duck surrounded by 500,000 tons of TNT.

Oh I do the same thing. I'm a bit more forgiving in my opinion. You don't have to be a doctor or a lawyer, just be attractive and a non pain in the ass, to me.

On a serious note, the problem with meeting women in real life is two things...
1. Where I live. I picked the wrong town to be single and in my late 30s/early 40s. Most of the women are in their late 50s and up. Seeing how as I'd like at least one mini Jedikooter, this area that I live in has been very difficult to meet women in person.

2. A lot of the women that are close to my age range in Marin county are just...flaky. I don't know if their parents dropped too much acid while their mom was pregnant with them or what, but, I'd rather listen to someone scratching a chalkboard than to deal with most of them.

[Ksyrup]

I have 2 aunts in Marin County, both over 50. And one of them is batshit insane.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I have 2 aunts in Marin County, both over 50. And one of them is batshit insane.

Give them JediKooter's number...

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I have 2 aunts in Marin County, both over 50. And one of them is batshit insane.

Your honor, I would like to enter into evidence items #1 & #2.

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Give them JediKooter's number...

Scratching DT off of my 'Not on My Shit List' list...

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Your honor, I would like to enter into evidence items #1 & #2.




Scratching DT off of my 'Not on My Shit List' list...

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Ok...I'll put you back on my 'Not on my Shit List' list.

[SkippyDies]

You gotta be willing to travel bro. You also gotta be willing to make the first move. Some chicks will make the first move but its only a certain kind of woman that will do that. But if youre not getting the sort of interest you want then you are doing something wrong.

Its not all their fault or all of their expectations being too high or whatever. Your chick is out there even if she might not know it yet. But you gotta make a believer out of them and you gotta be like blue magic and be true to your brand. If you don't have a brand for yourself you need to establish one because its the most critical part of this process.

So many dudes I work with feel this way that dating is just a waste of time and wanna blame the women. The first thing we do in my program is to teach dudes that if they want someone you have to fucking man up. No one wants an entitled dude. Its not even about being all macho or being good looking. If you have all your teeth and have a job and all that it doesn't make you stand out.

Lots of guys have that. You gotta figure out what makes you the most awesome MFer in the world to chill with. And once you establish what makes you unique (not your stamp collection or those action figures) but what might make a woman want to invest time with you then you need to be able to communicate that.

1. You need an elevator pitch. Every email needs to be unique. Stop sending spam that's generic. Tell them something that makes it clear you read their profile. Skimming is okay. You just need to pick out the key details.

2. Keep the first one short and invite them to check you out and to write if they find you interesting. Don't talk immediately about going out and don't talk about anything about them being sexy or hot. Even hot women want to be more than just a piece of meat. At least at first.

3. Be willing to be the initiator but don't go sending out 100s of notes because you won't be on your game. If you are on a free site and your profile isn't working you can always delete it and start a new one with a new name. Then you show up in the Who's New section, women will start noticing. If you are in a small town you can't list that small town as your city. You gotta go to the next largest city near you. Otherwise you are in a small pool and I don't care if you are the Hugh Hefner of your small little fucking pond no one wants to play in the kiddie pool and no woman wants to sit at the little kids table. EVERYONE wants the big piece of chicken. Believe that.

So whatever. Maybe I'm just full of shit and I'm not being helpful at all. I'm posting for those lurkers. People who aren't gonna post but come here and tune into what other people have to say. The ones who might be trying new things and are wondering why it's not working out for them. You can do this bro. You can make changes that will change your life but you gotta stay committed to it and its not always about what's wrong with women.

You gotta figure out what's wrong with you and find a way to offset that by accentuating the shit that makes you the man. Good luck to everyone.

[sterlingice]

Hey, everyone! HA is back!

SI

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by SkippyDies

The first thing we do in my program

I'll be damned. Kyle actually found a way to make some money off of cocky and funny.

[RedKingGold]

Oh, hey, it's a guy who's confident in himself! Quick, let's tear him down by mocking him because of our own insecurities!

[Comey]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

Sounds like you left her. Aw, and we were all rooting for you.

But I guess if someone's not the right person in the right situation, you move on.

SI

Wasn't me, trust me. She couldn't put her finger on why, but she just couldn't feel what I feel/felt back for me. She was crying about it, because she said she wanted, more than anything, to feel that way...and it just wasn't happening. I understand that, and that's why I've made my peace with it.

I've just learned to accept failure with love rather easily; it's all I've ever known, you know?

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

Oh, hey, it's a guy who's confident in himself! Quick, let's tear him down by mocking him because of our own insecurities!

It's in good fun, or at least mine was. Cocky and funny is just so ingrained in FOFC lore, if there is such a thing

SI

[M GO BLUE!!!]

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

It's in good fun, or at least mine was. Cocky and funny is just so ingrained in FOFC lore, if there is such a thing

SI

Exactly. Plus, I really miss HM. And HA, for that matter.

[sterlingice]

Haha.. whoops, yeah, HM

SI

[Karlifornia]

Skippy is trying to help. It does smack of Tom Cruise's "Frank Mackey" character in magnolia. "Everyone wants the big piece of chicken" sounds like it was ripped directly from the script. If you're striking out with everyone, you're doin it wrong

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Karlifornia

If you're striking out with everyone, you're doin it wrong

Yeah. Even I can get a woman who is one episode away from a sanitarium.

[DanGarion]

Hey, everyone! HA is back!



SI

Same thing I thought...

[wade moore]

I've avoided posting in here for a lot of reasons. Many of them are highlighted by the mocking of what is a very, very good post from Skippy.

The amount of hypocritical, chest-thumping machismo from a bunch of Text Sim Nerds about the "too-high standards" from women on dating sites is hilarious in this thread.

Then someone comes in with real world, solid advice on how to be successful on online dating sites and they get mocked.

Wonderful.

[Ksyrup]

I haven't dated in 20+ years, nor have I given any advice in this thread that I can recall. I'm just here for entertainment. That post reads like Kyle snuck his way back onto FOFC. I wasn't mocking whoever that guy is, other than the fact that he makes it sound like he advises guys on how to date for a living? That's a bit much, yeah - whether or not it's true.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by wade moore

I've avoided posting in here for a lot of reasons. Many of them are highlighted by the mocking of what is a very, very good post from Skippy.

The amount of hypocritical, chest-thumping machismo from a bunch of Text Sim Nerds about the "too-high standards" from women on dating sites is hilarious in this thread.

Then someone comes in with real world, solid advice on how to be successful on online dating sites and they get mocked.

Wonderful.

Preach.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

I found my fiancee' on Match.com. I signed up in late-July 2010 and we went out on our first date on September 6, 2010. Got engaged in August 2011 and will be married on June 22, 2013.

I also had good luck on Match prior to meeting my fiancee', going on multiple dates with three other girls during the six weeks I had a profile (not a bad success rate). Online dating lies somewhere between meeting a girl at a bar (worse) and getting set up by mutual friends and/or in mutual interests (better).

I do have some suggestions for online daters:

#1. DO sell yourself like a product. Post only good, but honest photos of yourself. Keep your profile information short but interesting. No one is going to read a novel of a profile, think 50-75 words tops.

#2. DO conduct a broad-based marketing search. You just need to as a guy because, in my opinion, it is harder for guys in online dating because ladies are worried about stalkers, creepy people, etc. On Match, I "liked" about 50-60 profiles a day, which just involves scrolling through, deciding if I liked the photos, and clicking on a button. Have a standard, opening e-mail ready that is short and just introducing yourself. Do NOT go into heavy details about your life. I did, sometimes, send unprompted e-mails to "liked" profiles, but, most often, I waited until I got a "like" or e-mail in return first.

#3. DON'T get into a prolonged e-mail exchange with a person. You'll have trouble meeting someone in online dating if you treat her like a pen pal.

#4. DO try to arrange an early, informal date. By the second or third e-mail, just offer to meet her for drinks. Dinner is too formal, and drinks can just be a half hour to an hour. While you might worry that you are coming off as too strong or aggressive, those girls are likely just looking for a reason not to go out on a date with you. If they are attracted to you by your photo, they'll tell themselves they are interested in your confidence and agree to meet you.

#5. DON'T get too hard on yourself or fear rejection. Online dating is a step above meeting someone at a bar, but only a small step and easier because the rejection is public. Just keep trucking, realize there are also ugly girls on there who would love to go on a date with you, and keep at it. That being said, if you're getting absolutely no hits, you may want to lower your standards a little.

I'll repost what I said earlier in this thread, which was lost in a sea of hypocritical, chest puffing posts.

Oh, and Rizon? Fuck off.

[Logan]

I did not meet my fiancee on a dating site but did very much enjoy my experiences on it prior.

[Chief Rum]

I know a couple guys who run dating advice programs like Skippy apparently does, and I know the general jist of how those programs go. Skippy's making good points and it pretty much goes along with what I know about these things.

I would have been applying principles like these in my own dating searches for months now, except that I am perfectly happy with my GF.

There is no reason to be frustrated with searching for love (or for less), so long as you approach it right.

[Dr. Sak]

Originally Posted by Logan

I did not meet my fiancee on a dating site but did very much enjoy my experiences on it prior.

I'll echo Logan's thoughts. I learned more about what I didn't want in a woman from these dating sites. I also learned more about myself. The biggest thing I learned was to be myself and not someone who I thought that person I was meeting wanted me to be.

You have to accept that on a dating site you have a very brief window to make an impression on this person because (whether you like it or not) she is talking to many other guys behind the scene and if you don't stand out she will just move to the next.

I liken it to a job interview more than anything.

[JediKooter]

You guys mentioning hypocritical stuff are silly. Quit being Captain Buzzkill and go with the joking around.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by wade moore

Text Sim Nerds

Sorry to burst your bubble but this doesn't define what most of us are...

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

I haven't dated in 20+ years, nor have I given any advice in this thread that I can recall. I'm just here for entertainment. That post reads like Kyle snuck his way back onto FOFC. I wasn't mocking whoever that guy is, other than the fact that he makes it sound like he advises guys on how to date for a living? That's a bit much, yeah - whether or not it's true.

Ding Ding Ding. Either that or Tom Leykis has snuck onto the board.

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by DanGarion

Sorry to burst your bubble but this doesn't define what most of us are...

Specific terms aside, I think his point is that generally we're not a collection of Billy Dee Williamses.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

Specific terms aside, I think his point is that generally we're not a collection of Billy Dee Williamses.

Except for Pumpy, of course

SI

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

Specific terms aside, I think his point is that generally we're not a collection of Billy Dee Williamses.

Of course, I'm not black.

[cuervo72]

Tom Sellecks then.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

You guys mentioning hypocritical stuff are silly. Quit being Captain Buzzkill and go with the joking around.

This isn't isolated to the recent discussion. This is pent up across this entire thread.

[RedKingGold]

Originally Posted by wade moore

This isn't isolated to the recent discussion. This is pent up across this entire thread.

Yup.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by wade moore

This isn't isolated to the recent discussion. This is pent up across this entire thread.

This thread has had a pretty much light hearted tone to it, with people ribbing each other now and then. Saying people are hypocritical makes me think that people's sarcasm detectors are malfunctioning.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

This thread has had a pretty much light hearted tone to it, with people ribbing each other now and then. Saying people are hypocritical makes me think that people's sarcasm detectors are malfunctioning.

It's the whole, you guys are nerds you can't have standards argument. Like the sharp knees argument with the guy that plays WoW in his parents basement. But agreed I think most of it is sarcasm.