Chief's Maybe Not So Boring After All Dating Thread

[TCY Junkie]

Originally Posted by Izulde

Actually that'd be an interesting discussion in and of itself:

what better beautiful face n okay body or okay face n beautiful body.

Me personally, I'm about the pretty face and average body.

What, it's about finding someone like Richard Pryor in a female body.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by TCY Junkie

I might have mentioned girls in joking but I wouldn't consider it a dynasty. I went on a lot of dates until I went out with this one girl. I copied and pasted some post I put on here because pumpy made me laugh. It was about a girl making out with me in a grocery store. Girls often commented some better place to make out. This girl mentioned the produce section instead of the cereal aisle. I mentioned a bowling alley might be a better place to make out and kinda asked her out. She said she didn't know about bowling, it was obvious she was talking about not going out at all so I mentioned if she didn't want to bowl what she want to do(funny to me). She then said she was talking about not going out with me but what the hell. We meet and she asked me to dare her to do something within a minute of meeting. She seemed way to slutty, maybe I just have a mind of male whore though. She later said she had no clue about me. I was acting cocky with her because cocky guys make me laugh. When I realized she wasn't into the act and actually liked cocky guys I bailed. I was looking for creativity and it felt she just wanted me to make out with her. I guess my sense of humor does that to some girls but that doesn't show me she'll be fun in the future. I'm not saying making out is stupid and boring but when you can get it at will you look for more. She no longer interested me.

I would highly recommend not doing online dating. If you do though and she text you about not having a good day then ask her if someone entered her in a beauty contest again without asking her. This one girl loved that, I try not reuse things I say but I had to because this one girl seemed sad and I hate sad. And I don't plan on dating her so I thought I might as well tell her that. She seemed to like it by her response. WARNING, I don't know how good looking girls are that you go out with so your mileage may vary.

how did i get involved

[TCY Junkie]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

how did i get involved

Your randomness turned on my creative switch which is very rare online. I feel like a huge jerk not wanting to entertain others online most the time, I'm doing a damn good job at not being totally self-centered with the genes I have.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by TCY Junkie

What, it's about finding someone like Richard Pryor in a female body.

As much as I loved Richard, I want a woman that looks better than him. And who ingests a bit less cocaine.

(I miss that motherfucker...)

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

As much as I loved Richard, I want a woman that looks better than him. And who ingests a bit less cocaine.

So I'm guessing a women that hangs out with Charlie Sheen is out of the question?

[MrBug708]

I got a bunch of single female friends Chief, I can see what I can do

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by MrBug708

I got a bunch of single female friends Chief, I can see what I can do

Pics please, thanks....

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

Please, please, PLEASE tell me that your response was something to the effect of (Laughing) "You know what, I was actually thinking the same thing! I mean, your face is kinda cute, but we both know you could stand to hit the gym. My ex had a great body. The woman I dated last was absolutely stunning, but stuck on herself. That's what I like about you. I don't need a 10. Even a 9 or an 8. Give me a nice, average 7 that I can deal with & I'm happy."

I'd love to lie and say that I had a great reply, but I was stunned that she actually said that and just said something to the effect that she was missing out on a lot of great guys if all she dated was "10's."

Originally Posted by Galaxy

In online dating, average will usually mean "an extra few pounds".

This woman I was talking about was 5'5 and about 145 to 150, but she was nicely top heavy.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Dr. Sak

Laugh all you want but on 4 separate occasions I have had women tell me that they did not want to continue with dating me because I was not a Steelers/Pens fan.

To be honest, I'm surprised most were able to get past it for the first date. The typical female Steelers/Pens fan is so over the top about promoting their undying devotion...or at least until the team is losing, then it's different.

Originally Posted by JediKooter

If those women had any balls, they would admit to being Pirates fans.

He's still dating the ones with balls

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Were they real Penguin fans or the bandwagon fans? At least Flyers' fans, from what I gather, are pretty in-tuned and with their teams all the way.

I would venture to say that 98% of female Pens fans are the worst of the worst in terms of bandwagon fans. One of the things I hate about going to Pens games now is it's no longer about the game or team, but it's an event to be seen at.

(Sorry for threadjack!)

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

I'd love to lie and say that I had a great reply, but I was stunned that she actually said that and just said something to the effect that she was missing out on a lot of great guys if all she dated was "10's."

Did you meet her through online dating?

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

This woman I was talking about was 5'5 and about 145 to 150, but she was nicely top heavy.

Online dating tends to be bring out about adding an extra x amount of pounds (or being in a more desirable body type in terms of athletic and toned, slender, about average, curvy, ect.) or for guys, adding a few inches in height or having the same body type situation as females. Not all are like this of course.

[Commo_Soldier]

Good luck Chief, curious to hear how the first visit with Sunday went.

As for sites, I found my soon to be wife on Chemistry.com They are a pay site, which picks your matches for you, but they should be having a free communication weekend soon, probably next weekend. They typically have lots of activity during these, my fiancee has stated the only reason she tried online dating is because of the free weekend.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Did you meet her through online dating?




Online dating tends to be bring out about adding an extra x amount of pounds (or being in a more desirable body type in terms of athletic and toned, slender, about average, curvy, ect.) or for guys, adding a few inches in height or having the same body type situation as females. Not all are like this of course.

Yes, I met her on match. Dated 5 or 6 different women on match and 2 of then were interesting enough to date multiple times, but I am done with online dating for now.

[Chief Rum]

Hmm, where to start?

You see, there's stuff I can't really say right now about Sunday, and I think if y'all knew the whole of it, you would tell me to get out and I would agree with you.

And after that cryptic statement which doesn't help any of you understand that, I'll just say I went to Sunday's job last night, like I said, and hung out with her. She was in some minor financial trouble (she lives check to check more or less), and was stressed about it. I seem to calm her down when I am around, so that helps her. We're in this weird spot, where we're not technically going out, but we're definitely more than friends, almost intimate. That's why I really hesitate to talk a lot about Sunday, because A) it's really complicated and probably deserves a thread of its own, and B) I don't have the first damn clue where we're really at right now either.

Sunday's had a bit of a rough life, and she has some bad habits she needs to kick. That's another issue. Not surprisingly, she's really hot, otherwise I'm sure my shallow ass would be gone already. Plus, I can see the good in her (cue Luke speaking to Darth Vader).

Meanwhile, while I am there I get a text out of the blue from Wants2Work. Just making convo, it seems. We texted back and forth a little last night and this morning. My God, she seems like a Nigerian scam come to life. Now I am REALLY curious what's gonna go down on Thursday.

[Chief Rum]

BTW, been reading throughout the thread, and I want to thank all the well wishers and those offering advice. I am reading it all and taking it in.

EF27, sorry to hear what you have been going through, but it sounds like you have come out the other side in a good way, and I am glad to hear it. I have an old membership to match.com which I plan to reactivate in a little bit, so I guess I'll be barking up the same tree you were in just a while here.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

Yes, I met her on match. Dated 5 or 6 different women on match and 2 of then were interesting enough to date multiple times, but I am done with online dating for now.

How did her Match profile come across then?

[stevew]

Google voice seems like a good way to get a burner number for your cell phone. I can receive texts on 2different numbers(one I use for work and one for home) That way if you do meet some psycho, you can ditch your GV # instead of having to change your real number.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Hmm, where to start?

You see, there's stuff I can't really say right now about Sunday, and I think if y'all knew the whole of it, you would tell me to get out and I would agree with you.

And after that cryptic statement which doesn't help any of you understand that, I'll just say I went to Sunday's job last night, like I said, and hung out with her. She was in some minor financial trouble (she lives check to check more or less), and was stressed about it. I seem to calm her down when I am around, so that helps her. We're in this weird spot, where we're not technically going out, but we're definitely more than friends, almost intimate. That's why I really hesitate to talk a lot about Sunday, because A) it's really complicated and probably deserves a thread of its own, and B) I don't have the first damn clue where we're really at right now either.

Sunday's had a bit of a rough life, and she has some bad habits she needs to kick. That's another issue. Not surprisingly, she's really hot, otherwise I'm sure my shallow ass would be gone already. Plus, I can see the good in her (cue Luke speaking to Darth Vader).

Meanwhile, while I am there I get a text out of the blue from Wants2Work. Just making convo, it seems. We texted back and forth a little last night and this morning. My God, she seems like a Nigerian scam come to life. Now I am REALLY curious what's gonna go down on Thursday.

You went to her job...she's really hot...she lives check to check...is she a dancer?

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Hmm, where to start?

You see, there's stuff I can't really say right now about Sunday, and I think if y'all knew the whole of it, you would tell me to get out and I would agree with you.

And after that cryptic statement which doesn't help any of you understand that, I'll just say I went to Sunday's job last night, like I said, and hung out with her. She was in some minor financial trouble (she lives check to check more or less), and was stressed about it. I seem to calm her down when I am around, so that helps her. We're in this weird spot, where we're not technically going out, but we're definitely more than friends, almost intimate. That's why I really hesitate to talk a lot about Sunday, because A) it's really complicated and probably deserves a thread of its own, and B) I don't have the first damn clue where we're really at right now either.

Sunday's had a bit of a rough life, and she has some bad habits she needs to kick. That's another issue. Not surprisingly, she's really hot, otherwise I'm sure my shallow ass would be gone already. Plus, I can see the good in her (cue Luke speaking to Darth Vader).

Meanwhile, while I am there I get a text out of the blue from Wants2Work. Just making convo, it seems. We texted back and forth a little last night and this morning. My God, she seems like a Nigerian scam come to life. Now I am REALLY curious what's gonna go down on Thursday.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I'm actually doing the world a favor & staying out of the dating scene, at least for a while. I have a dummy profile on okcupid just to look around when bored& have seen a couple women I actually would have written to, but can't get to the point where I can write anything about me in any description or post any pics. I figure if I can't put together a profile to promote myself I have no reason actually attempting to write to a woman.

At least I'm no longer putting myself out there to run like hell if one of the psychos out there decides to write me back! (I'd get to the point where I would wonder what the hell I was doing it for, then do it again.)

[TCY Junkie]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

At least I'm no longer putting myself out there to run like hell if one of the psychos out there decides to write me back! (I'd get to the point where I would wonder what the hell I was doing it for, then do it again.)

This post makes more sense to me than anything I've ever read.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

You went to her job...she's really hot...she lives check to check...is she a dancer?

Give that man a prize.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Give that man a prize.

Guess that also fits with the "you guys would probably tell me to cut and run" commentary too.

Hey...that's cool though man. Dancers need love too.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Dancers need love too.

Dating "dancers" tends to work out well for guys in the NFL...

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Guess that also fits with the "you guys would probably tell me to cut and run" commentary too.

Hey...that's cool though man. Dancers need love too.

Yes, they do, lol.

Seriously, the second I started to get involved with her, I was asking myself WTF I was doing. I know she's flawed, but I'm no prize either. I'm still trying to figure out where things stand there. I know I should go, but she is pretty spectacular. But she's got a long way to go--I have been thinking of just keeping it at the friend level, let her know the sorts of issues I see and let her make the choice if she wants to do anything about them. She should make those decisions for herself, though. Oh, and yes, she knows I'm no cash cow, so we can get that out right away.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

Dating "dancers" tends to work out well for guys in the NFL...

Hey - I'm tryin to be classy about the wording I use in case he ends up developing strong feelings for her.

[Izulde]

This reminds of the time some years back when a buddy of mine and I went to a joint and a girl who had just started there mentioned her boyfriend and how she couldn't wait for her shift to be over.

Me: Whoa there! Hold on, honey.
Girl: What?
Me: You killing the fantasy. Now see, me and my boy here, we don't care. My boy's married and I got a girl (Note: This was in fact a lie. Said event happened a year before Her Blondeness). But if you want to do well in this business, you got to sell the fantasy of being single. Make the dudes cough up their money, ya feel me?
Girl: *blank stare*
Me: Oh, and another thing. You got to act interested. Yeah, I know you're probably not feeling it right now, but again, it's all part of the game. You got to be an actress, play it up a bit. If a dude wants to hear this kinda talk, he may as well go home, ya dig?

Then another dancer hurried over to rescue her. Somehow I got the feeling she didn't work out.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Hey - I'm tryin to be classy about the wording I use in case he ends up developing strong feelings for her.

Heh heh, thanks for the consideration. There are a ton of hurdles to get over here before we reach that point. I don't ever forget for a second what she is, and that's probably part of the "problem".

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Seriously, the second I started to get involved with her, I was asking myself WTF I was doing.

It depends. Is she doing it because the money's too good, or is the best she can get, for her current situation, but once that improves (graduates college, or whatever she's doing), she's gone.

Or is she doing it because it's her last option and there's pretty much no hope for it getting better. Only worse.....(you know what I mean........prostitute. She becomes a prostitute next.....if she hasn't already......which she probably has.)

If it's the first, see what happens. If it's the second.....WTF are you doing?

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Izulde

This reminds of the time some years back when a buddy of mine and I went to a joint and a girl who had just started there mentioned her boyfriend and how she couldn't wait for her shift to be over.

Me: Whoa there! Hold on, honey.
Girl: What?
Me: You killing the fantasy. Now see, me and my boy here, we don't care. My boy's married and I got a girl (Note: This was in fact a lie. Said event happened a year before Her Blondeness). But if you want to do well in this business, you got to sell the fantasy of being single. Make the dudes cough up their money, ya feel me?
Girl: *blank stare*
Me: Oh, and another thing. You got to act interested. Yeah, I know you're probably not feeling it right now, but again, it's all part of the game. You got to be an actress, play it up a bit. If a dude wants to hear this kinda talk, he may as well go home, ya dig?

Then another dancer hurried over to rescue her. Somehow I got the feeling she didn't work out.

Yeah, this sort of thing is always at the forefront of my mind, but if she's pulling a job, she's REALLY dedicated and for little reason. Like I said, ain't no money in this mark, and she knows it; hell, she actually has a sugar daddy already.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by sabotai

It depends. Is she doing it because the money's too good, or is the best she can get, for her current situation, but once that improves (graduates college, or whatever she's doing), she's gone.

Or is she doing it because it's her last option and there's pretty much no hope for it getting better. Only worse.....(you know what I mean........prostitute. She becomes a prostitute next.....if she hasn't already......which she probably has.)

If it's the first, see what happens. If it's the second.....WTF are you doing?

I think she's looking for a way out. For instance, she's trying out for a model shoot with Abercrombie & Fitch on Monday.

I think she likes the "life"--the ongoing party, etc. And she likes to be wanted, which she gets with the dancing. But I don't get the sense she wants to dance forever. I don't think she's confident she can do anything else, which, of course, is silly. There are always options, but people trap themselves in their own assumptions.

I am still exploring if she actually believes this is all she can do, or if she believes she can do more. We tend to stay away from serious topics most times we're together. I have been figuring to have more serious conversations like that when we're together outside of the club, but we haven't gotten on that just yet (between my two jobs and how much she dances, it has been hard for us to meet outside of the club yet).

[Chief Rum]

She also works as a medical assistant, I should add, but it sounds like it's only an every so often on call thing, like she's on a list of potential temporary assistants for when the regulars need to call out sick or what not. I didn't get the sense she was passionate about it, although she has told me she wants to be an LVN.

[Danny]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Heh heh, thanks for the consideration. There are a ton of hurdles to get over here before we reach that point. I don't ever forget for a second what she is, and that's probably part of the "problem".

It's pretty obvious from the wording of your post that it's a large part of the problem. You say "what she is" not "what she does". Based on this wording, it seems you think of who she is by what she does. And that can be a pretty large hurdle as even if she stopped, your linking of the dancing as what she is would probably stay with you.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

I'd run. As hot as she may be, I have found that you simply cannot save a woman. She is what she is. That may be fine for her, but is it for you? Think about the future... What do you tell your friends about her? Your mom? Possible future kids?

Take this advice for what it is and from who it's from... I haven't had a second date in a long time & my longest relationship was a whole year & a half. Hell, it's been almost a year since my last scheduled date... and I got stood up on that.

[Matthean]

Originally Posted by Rizon

+1. Reading through seeing any potential there and I don't see any reason to invest in her for anything more than a friendship.

[MacroGuru]

Originally Posted by Matthean

+1. Reading through seeing any potential there and I don't see any reason to invest in her for anything more than a friendship.

Oh I do....FWB for the win!

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

(between my two jobs and how much she dances, it has been hard for us to meet outside of the club yet).

I don't know how I missed this the first time around.

Tell her you won't see her at the club anymore. No more paying her for dates while she's on the job. You either have a real date or nothing.

You need a real woman. Lap dances are NOT dates.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by Izulde

This reminds of the time some years back when a buddy of mine and I went to a joint and a girl who had just started there mentioned her boyfriend and how she couldn't wait for her shift to be over.

Me: Whoa there! Hold on, honey.
Girl: What?
Me: You killing the fantasy. Now see, me and my boy here, we don't care. My boy's married and I got a girl (Note: This was in fact a lie. Said event happened a year before Her Blondeness). But if you want to do well in this business, you got to sell the fantasy of being single. Make the dudes cough up their money, ya feel me?
Girl: *blank stare*
Me: Oh, and another thing. You got to act interested. Yeah, I know you're probably not feeling it right now, but again, it's all part of the game. You got to be an actress, play it up a bit. If a dude wants to hear this kinda talk, he may as well go home, ya dig?

Then another dancer hurried over to rescue her. Somehow I got the feeling she didn't work out.

You lectured a dancer while she was on the job?

[TCY Junkie]

Originally Posted by Dr. Sak

Laugh all you want but on 4 separate occasions I have had women tell me that they did not want to continue with dating me because I was not a Steelers/Pens fan.

So I wrote this to a somewhat cute girl that said she loved the steelers:

Me:I heard on this sports forum this guy in Pittsburgh got dumped by 4 women because he wasn't a steelers fan, how many guys have you dumped for that?

Her: Haha I don't even let them get that far.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

You lectured a dancer while she was on the job?

Pretty much.

[Galaxy]

One thing is for sure, this thread is not boring.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I don't know how I missed this the first time around.

Tell her you won't see her at the club anymore. No more paying her for dates while she's on the job. You either have a real date or nothing.

You need a real woman. Lap dances are NOT dates.

We actually don't really do much dances at the club. We just hang out there together and have drinks. She probably would make a lot more money if I wasn't there, because when I am she sits around hanging with me instead of asking other guys for dances.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by MrBug708

I got a bunch of single female friends Chief, I can see what I can do

Yeah but they are all Bruins. We all know that Trojan women are better.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Dr. Sak

Laugh all you want but on 4 separate occasions I have had women tell me that they did not want to continue with dating me because I was not a Steelers/Pens fan.

My wife is a Notre Dame fan, she still dated me and eventually married me. I even had a sign in our front yard that says "Trojan Fans Live Here" that her mom bought for me. All her brothers love the Irish too. Now that is love. I suggest Chief find a nice USC girl.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Give that man a prize.

One of my best friends married a dancer. She now has a masters in child psychology and looking to go even further. She doesn't dance anymore.

[Matthean]

Originally Posted by DanGarion

One of my best friends married a dancer. She now has a masters in child psychology and looking to go even further. She doesn't dance anymore.

I'm willing to guess that's the exception versus the rule.

[tarcone]

This thread is great. "I am "friends" with a dancer, and all our dates are only at the club."

She has a sugar daddy. So what is your role in her life? Dollar dropper? Regular lap dance guy? Drink buyer? All of the above?

Dude, go to another club and find another dancer. They are a dime a dozen.

[M GO BLUE!!!]

Originally Posted by DanGarion

One of my best friends married a dancer. She now has a masters in child psychology and looking to go even further. She doesn't dance anymore.

I wonder what she would advise Chief Rummy...

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!!

I don't know how I missed this the first time around.

Tell her you won't see her at the club anymore. No more paying her for dates while she's on the job. You either have a real date or nothing.

You need a real woman. Lap dances are NOT dates.

Yeah...this. Absolutely. Even if you're not paying her at the club maybe she's just using you to "look busy" to her bosses or whatever.

[Matthean]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

I think she likes the "life"--the ongoing party, etc. And she likes to be wanted, which she gets with the dancing.

"She has money issues" means...

1. A good amount of money was taken away from her.
2. A good amount of her income was lowered.
3. She can't handle money "because she needs things for her lifestyle."

My guess is number 3.

"She has a sugar daddy" means...

A male who hooks up with somebody "who has money issues because she needs things for her lifestyle," and gets some sort of reward for their generosity. Let's say the obvious, she's giving him sexual favors for the stuff she gets. If sex isn't involved, he's either a friend who's helping her out, or he's getting played.

A gold digger means...

Somebody who "has money issues because she needs things for her lifestyle," and thus seeks out a "sugar daddy."

I'll just add that she has two jobs, does one of them enough to where it's hard for you to get together, has a sugar daddy, and she still has money issues. Oh and despite all of that, you have no issue going to see her work and thus cutting into likely the most credible way for her to make money.

1. Stop seeing her in the club.
2. She drops the sugar daddy.
3. Have her read Dave Ramsey.

A guy busting his hump doing two jobs does not need a gold digging stripper as a girlfriend.

[Chief Rum]

Heh...you guys make hanging out with a stripper no fun at all.