Level 23: Keymer & Hassocks (FM 16)

[Izulde]

@ Eastborne Rangers II (5th)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/Alasan Ann/Viv Pritchard/Carl Gill
DM: Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

6 - Great interception by Gill and a blast down the middle of the pitch to Gray. The moment the defense closes, he puts it on the right wing into space for Odubade. Our veteran Nigerian dribbles down and into the box, and when he draws heat, he crosses to all alone Igiehon for the header goal. 1-0

25 - Aces interception by Cotterill and his moonshot all the way down the pitch hits the box, where Igiehorn snipes his second goal of the game. 2-0

37 - Okojie throws in to Odubade and gets back for the first touch drop shot into the middle of the box. Igiehon's head rises up and knocks in his first half hat trick! 3-0

52 - Kargbo and Plant step in for Gray and Walder respectively.

73 - Nothing to do about that. 3-1

81 - It's official. Pritchard is booted from the starting lineup until further notice. 3-2

Except for Dan Cotterill's 8.1 and Bennie Igiehon's PotM 9.4 match, we didn't do so hot out there, and I tell them that very calmly.

Dan Cotterill gets pissed at me about it and the ensuing conversation did not go well at all.

I'm so irritated by this, I immediately apply to a job opening that very much intrigues me.

@ Danehill (Mid Sussex Junior Cup Second Round)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/Alasan Ann/James Crane/Carl Gill
DM: Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Jamie Gray/Edwin Ahenkorah/Bennie Igiehon

The perks of being Division Six - we get to skip the first round of my favorite tournament.

7 - Okojie digs out the ball from the corner and belts it all the way to midfield to Igiehon. Cross field to Allman, and the rainbow shot finds Gray in the box. Spear shot scores. 1-0

18 - Free kick by Allman, and Gray pops up like a gopher to head it into the box. Igiehon's there first, and it's in. 2-0

28 - Allman to Ann on the corner, and Gambian header gambols the ball into the net. 3-0

71 - Not worried. 3-1

8.7 for PotM Osamu Allman and 8.3 for Jamie Gray, as we played a much more solid all around game this time.

vs Bolney Rovers (2nd)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/Alasan Ann/James Crane/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant
MC: Ahmed Mohammed/Stuart Cook
AM: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Jamie Gray

They're pissed because I was patronizing to their overachieving. This is the formation they're weakest against, so why not? Nick Plant has made a major jump in ability, and is now capable of playing at this level. Since he has the highest upside, my anxious, selfish youth pull is now our starter.

4 - Mohammed jacks it out to Gill on the wing, and the cross finds a flying Gray arching to head in the goal. 1-0

13 - [b]Gray[/b has two defenders on him, so he laterals to Gill. Allman meets the long cross and kicks it in. 2-0

30 - Cotterill has definitely played not his usual amazing self since getting pissy at me, and he gashes his leg. Warrell immediately replaces him.

32 - Tetek goal kick to Warrell. Pass to Mohammed, back to Warrell, in the box to Gray. Goal. 3-0

62 - Shit defending by Crane, and he has a yellow anyway. Pritchard in. 3-1

70 - Cook corner kick finds Ann for the angle in. 4-1

82 - They trip Gray in the box, and he easily converts his own PK for his hat trick. 5-1

84 - Okojie throws in to Allman for the back header to Mohammed. Perfect pass into the box, and Warrell gleefully scores. 6-1



Dan Cotterill is out 2-3 weeks. Karma, motherfucker. We're putting all these punks in their place, yo!

The match broke the club attendance record with 121 people attending. War of words + 1st and 2nd team in league = tickets sold.

So that job I applied to? They want to talk to me. Sure. It's a lengthy interview, where they're really hammering me on the fact that Keymer & Hassocks hasn't made a ton of money, all things considered. Valid concern, considering the club is in hot water financially.

Keymer & Hassocks is absolutely frantic to keep me. They promise me they'll do whatever it takes, but when I ask them to improve the youth academy, so we can start getting better pulls, they refuse.

Transfer Out - DC Alasan Ann (25) - Gambian - $15k
Is this a sign? Devastating to lose our best central defender, especially since it was a weaker area to begin with.

The potential new club, in the interview, agreed to consider changes to the staff, including bringing over the guys with me from Keymer & Hassocks. A few days later, they signal they're willing to do it, and we discuss the changes.

I'm forced to leave behind Dean Faithfull and Craig Littlejohn if I take the job, but manage to manipulate the staff roles to take Shaun Elliott, Jerel Ifil, and Lewis Haldane with me, because they refuse to pay out any money to fire any of their guys as part of the negotiations.

And then the offer comes, right as the following article is published:



Redhill Notes
They have the awesome team name of the Lobsters. Starting off in Combined Counties Premier, they promoted to Isthmian Division 1 in the first season after having been relegated the year before game start. They finished 3rd in the second year, then promoted in Year 3 to Isthmian Premier. Year 4 saw them midtable at 15th, and now they're fighting relegation at 21st, after having been preseason picks to finish 9th.

With a $50k budget, they're spending $47.9k in player salaries, including $22.5k on DC Dan Summerfield, who would barely be a starter on my Keymer & Hassocks squad.

The board is offering me a one year, $7k deal to get them to avoid the drop. There's 46 games in a season, 24 of which have been played, and right now the Lobsters are cooking in the drop pot, 2 points away from safety.

The question is... do I take the deal, and leave behind what I've been building at Keymer & Hassocks?

It's a fresh, new challenge, and a huge leap up the table - albeit one that carries a lot of risks. Keymer & Hassocks is the safe play, continuing to grind our way up the ranks, where I'm already a legend.

No legends for the Lobsters, though they do have one icon who no longer plays for them.

On the other hand, being in the Isthmian Premier, they're just one level away from Conference North/South. So it's a huge, huge leap I'd be making. The only player of mine I would try to bring on board is Jamie Gray, who has Conf North/South potential.

Pull the trigger? Or continue grinding?

[JonInMiddleGA]

I almost always end up sticking to the first spot.

But {shrug} that's just me.

[Brian Swartz]

That's a really tough call. I'd almost always say go for something that is such a big promotion ... but they look desperate with the relegation position you mentioned. I think I'd probably stay and wait for a more stable situation to jump up to. You keep winning, that's going to happen anyway.

Really tempting though, couldn't blame you for trying if you went .

[Izulde]

After a lot of thought, I've decided to stay where I am. It's too risky a jump, and the whole reason I even started this dynasty was to build this lowest of the low team, taking them all the way to the top. Besides which, I just noticed a clause they snuck in "Allowed to move to another coaching role for 80% of the required club compensation."

Yeah, no thanks.

vs Willingdon Athletic III (Mid Sussex Junior Cup Third Round)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/James Crane/Viv Pritchard/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant
M: Osamu Allman/Evans Kouassi
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

39 seconds - Gill to Igiehon in the box, but it's crowded, so he lays out to Kouassi, who has made like three passes in the first 30 seconds. Here's pass #4, a cross to Odubade for a sliding tackle goal. 1-0

3 - Plant with the great pass to Allman. Dribble and cross is intended for Gray, but he's decked by two defenders, and the ball travels on further, where Igiehon blasts it in. 2-0

53 - Warrell for Kouassi; Walder for Plant.

57 - Textbook interception by Gill in their half. He sends it on down the flank, where Warrell overpowers the defender and crosses to Odubade for the score. 3-0

82 - Okojie got bulldozed. 3-1

90 - Our strikers are building an attack, but facing pressure, so Gray kicks back to Walder. Flare pass out to Warrell, who dribbles all the way down the right flank before short crossing to Gray for the score. Note: Both Gray and Igiehon nabbed their 10th goal of the season in this game. 4-1

Lot of 7+, the best of which are matching 7.5s for Bennie Igiehon and Jamie Gray, but it was Yemi Odubade who starred most with an 8.8 PotM performance. 7.2 for Jack Walder off the bench.

vs Newick (5th)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/James Crane/Viv Pritchard/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant
M: Osamu Allman/Evans Kouassi
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

14 - Own goal by Igiehon. 0-1

Warrell replaces a tired Kouassi at half. Their keeper has been fucking amazing all throughout the first half. Still gonna yell, though.

57 - Kargbo in for Gray

65 - Nice atonement for Igiehon by popping a pretty pass into space for Kargbo to pick up, run, and shoot a scorcher into the net, thereby eliminating our games with goal scored streak from being broken 1-1

82 - Poor defense by Gill there. 1-2

88 - Our whole backline screwed the pooch. 1-3

Fucking pathetic. Halfway through the league season, still in 1st. 2 points ahead of second, 4 ahead of 3rd.

Transfer In - DC Spencer Hamilton (24)
My coaches love his potential. Injury prone (currently has a damaged heel), with shit stamina, but an immediate starter at DC, though he's quite raw.

[Izulde]

@ Ashwood Hurst II (9th)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/James Crane/Viv Pritchard/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant
M: Osamu Allman/Evans Kouassi
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

34 - Okojie with the short pass to Allman. Buzzing around him is a defender, so he lofts a pass into the box, where Igiehon leaps and heads it in. 1-0

52 - We switch to a 3-2-2-3 DM by taking Pritchard off and inserting Walder as a second DM. Kargbo on for Gray.

62 - Walder shows off the double DM skill by intercepting and lateraling to Allman. Short pass to Odubade, who laughs at all the defenders around him in our half. Gorgeous rainbow into space, with Kargbo having everyone beat. He destroys the keeper on the 1 v 1. 2-0

90 - The keeper comes out on a corner, so Allman hits Crane for the score. 3-0

Every full-time starter grabbed a 7.6 or higher. 8+ guys: James Crane (8.3), Evans Kouassi (8.9), and PotM Osamu Allman with 9.0. 7.1 off the bench for Passeka Karbo.

We've also found ourselves a brand new formation to replace the 4-1-2-3 DM Wide that's been our traditional style, but has gone by the wide side in recent seasons due to our poor MC options.

@ Buxted III (Malins Challenge Cup Quarterfinals)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/James Crane/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Passeka Kargbo

Ahenkorah replaces Odubade; Warrell in place of Allman at the half.

61 - We're awarded a PK when Kargbo is drilled in the box. He gets up and converts his opportunity with ease. 1-0

68 - Terrific chasedown of a long ball by Gill, who dribbles and jacks it to Karbo for the header into wide open space. When Gray gets there, it's a done deal, because no one can beat our young Irish striker on a 1 v 1. 2-0

If you would have told me I'd *ever* run a 3 backline, I'd have said you were high. But here's James Crane with a 7.7 and PotM, Nick Plant with a 7.6. Crane has very quietly turned into an underrated part of our defense.

@ Portslade Athletic II (10th)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/Spencer Hamilton/James Crane
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

3 - Igiehon receives a pass in the box and sends it to Cotterill, who dribbles all the way to the sideline. Cross to Allman sees a header shot pushed away, but he sinks his own rebound. 1-0

19 - Allman dribbles down the left flank and crosses to Igiehon. The Swiss striker's shot cracks off the post, but Gray wins the foot race and it's all good. 2-0

41 - Good defense by Crane - The shot was just too good. 2-1

43 - Plant throws out a long vine to Gray, who dribbles into the box. There's two defenders draping our Irish striker, but he's drawn out the goalie. Rather than take the shot, he lays off to isolated Igiehon for a sweet Swiss score. 3-1

47 - Crane throws into Walder. Quick pass to Gray, and the long ball to Igiehon in the box. Precision like that can't be beat! 4-1

49 - Embarrassing defense by Hamilton there to allow a goal just before half. 4-2

Gill steps on for Hamilton at the break.

67 - Reed for Walder

81 - Cotterill - Igiehon - Gray straight line for the score. They should have gotten one on us earlier, and Gill looks completely unequipped to deal with DC in a 3 man backline, so I'll keep him at DR from now on. 5-2

83 - Shoddy defending. 5-3

7.5 for Nick Plant, 7.9 for Osamu Allman, and matching 9.2s by Jamie Gray and Bennie Igiehon, with Ireland getting the PotM nod.

vs Crawley United (5th)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/Spencer Hamilton/James Crane
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

BTW, Jamie Gray is now a Vanarama National potential striker. Crawley United was in third for a while, but they've now a ways to go if they want to get back in the triple promotion conversation.

15 - Incisive interception by Crane and he kicks it ahead to Gray. The lateral to Odubade, and the longball, with Igiehon beating everyone to hit the 1v1. 1-0

The backline gets stressed when I tell the team at half not to get complacent. Truth is, we could be losing right now. We've been getting outplayed.

52 - Ahenkorah for Gray

7.6 for James Crane and Dan Okojie, 8.3 for Bennie Igiehon. A bunch of people get pissed off when I praise Igiehon after I tell the guys they got away with one here. STFU.

[Izulde]

@ Bolney Rovers (Malins Challenge Cup Semi-Final)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/Spencer Hamilton/James Crane
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

2 - Looked offsides there. 0-1

32 - WTF is wrong with this team?! 0-2

34 - Allman kicks back to Okojie and Igiehon gets the long cross *just* in time to put it away behind the keeper. 1-2

54 - Fucking ridiculous. Crane to DC and Gill in at DR. Kargbo for Odubade. 1-3

58 - Igiehon sends it down the line for Gray, who passes it in to space where Walder charges ahead and scores the rare goal. 2-3

63 - I burn my last sub, kicking out Cotterill for Warrell.

70 - Warrell kicks back to Gill, and the longball has Igiehon heading even further into the box for a fast Gray to sink the equalizer. 3-3

We both get our chances in extra time, but it's nothing doing, so on to PKs.

Passeka Kargbo.... scores! 1-0
They score. 1-1
Jamie Gray.... scores! 2-1
They score. 2-2
Bennie Igiehon... scores! 3-2
They score. 3-3
Dan Okojie... scores! 4-3
They score. 4-4
Jack Walder... scores! 5-4
They score. 5-5
Bojan Tetek... scores! 6-5
And Bojan Tetek, just like he did the last time we went to PKs in a Cup match stops the next shot after scoring himself!!!!!

8.5 for Jack Walder and 7.9 for Bennie Igiehon, as we overcame a very poor day defensively and by Bojan Tetek (6.5) to escape.

@ Montepelier Villa III (9th)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: Dan Okojie/Spencer Hamilton/James Crane
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Yemi Odubade/Edwin Ahenkorah/Passeka Kargbo

Both Dutch strikers in, as Jamie Gray is out with a cold and this gives us the most bars in the relative roles.

3 - Terrible defending by Crane. 0-1

13 - Crane redeems himself by feeding a ball into the box for Kargbo to take a shot. The keeper stretches a leg to deflect it, but he's on the ground, and Ahenkorah kicks it in the open net. 1-1

14 - Crane with the throw in to Cotterill and the giveback. Short pass to Kargbo, and the cross into the box sees Allman splitting the hole in the defense to score. 2-1

36 - Cotterill has it on the wing and crosses to Kargbo. The ball's stripped away by the defense, but Kargbo gets it right back and spears the perfect shot. 3-1

38 - Our backline doesn't stay back, allowing them to draw within 1. 3-2

I tell the defenders to stay deep at the break.

46 - Reed on for yellow carded Walder.

58 - Igiehon in for Odubade, and he goes to Target Man. Kargbo switches to Defensive Forward.

73 - Kargbo has the ball about midfield and he kicks it out to Allman. The long, high, far post cross comes when Igiehon has everyone beat, and the Swiss strike is sweet. 4-2

7.6 for James Crane, 7.5 for Dan Cotterill and 9.0 for PotM Passeka Kargbo. Off the bench, Bennie Igiehon got a 7.1.

Things learned: Set the backline to Deep when playing an Attacking style like we did after going down 0-1. In fact, that should probably be our default, and it might well explain why this formation has sputtered defensively the last few games.

It's a two team race for the title, as Bolney Rovers is 7 points ahead of 3rd and 4th place, and that's with their having a game in hand to boot. They've been hot on our heels all season long.

Transfer Out - DL Dan Okojie (22) and MC Ash Walker (28) - Burgess Hills Rhinos
Unbelievable. The Rhinos, while they're about to promote from Mid Sussex Division Five (in 1st by 10 points with 6 left to play, so it'd take an epic collapse), are another Amateur side. Walker I can understand, but fuck Okojie for abandoning us.

The Rhinos were Division Six the first year and relegated. Since then, they've won three straight promotions, and are looking like another us.

Our assman is about to sign for a head job elsewhere, so we bring in someone to replace him. He goes up to Division Two.

@ East Grinstead Town III (Mid Sussex Junior Cup Quarterfinal)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: James Crane/Spencer Hamilton/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

41 seconds - Cotterill crosses into the box and Odubade rises above everyone to head it in. 1-0

31 - Crane to Gray, and the long skimmer into space for Swiss Igiehon to secure and strike home. My assman bitches about the gap between midfield and the forwards. I ignore him. 2-0

Walder gets a yellow just before half, so I pull him at the break for Reed.

49 - We're given a BS penalty on someone pushing Igiehon, but Odubade fucks it up anyway.

77 - Injury to Allman, so Warrell gets the call.

7.9 for Carl Gill, 9.0 for PotM Dan Cotterill and 7.8 for Bennie Igiehon as we played very well and continue our march towards what will hopefully be our fourth straight Mid Sussex Junior Cup trophy.

Osamu Allman is out for 3 weeks.

Oh, I forgot to mention... the game we had against Crawley United broke our attendance record by 2 more people at 123. We always seem to have big crowds against them.

[Izulde]

vs Copthorne IV (5th)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: James Crane/Spencer Hamilton/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Dan Cotterill
S: Yemi Odubade/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

24 seconds - Cotterill crosses, but it's too far out of reach. Gray chases it down and backpasses to Warrell. Defense intercepts but doesn't clear, so Warrell gets it anyway and crosses to Cotterill. It takes him a moment to trap and secure it, but when he does, the shot goes in. 1-0

9 - Igiehon wings it out to Cotterill, who crosses to Odubade. The keeper gets there *just* before the ball crosses the line, but the pushaway leaves the ball sitting there, and Gray runs it down for the walk-in score. 2-0

56 - Pritchard in at DC; Kargbo replaces Igiehon

77 - Fantastic defensive work by Cotterill in stripping the ball away three times. Finally on the third, he's able to keep it and blast it all the way down the pitch to Kargbo. The Dutchman dribbles into the box and crosses to Odubade - only the defense intercepts midstream and kicks an own goal. Uh, thanks? 3-0

Every full-time starter other than Tetek had 7.2 or better, with the 8+ highlights going to PotM Robert Warrell and an 8.1 for Dan Cotterill, whose goal is the single fastest in Keymer & Hassocks history. His 24 second strike broke Bradley Fortnam-Tomlinson's previous 36 second goal.

@ Antsy Sports and Social II (Sommerville Challenge Cup Quarterfinal)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: James Crane/Scott Reed/Spencer Hamilton/Carl Gill
DM: Jack Walder
M: Robert Warrell/Ahmed Mohammed/Evans Kouassi
S: Edwin Ahenkorah/Bennie Igiehon

Fatigue issues results in a formation switch and a not ideal lineup.

18 - Mohammed fires out a long ball to Warrell, and the near post cross to Ahenkorah secures a goal. 1-0

Plant replaces yellow card Walder at the half.

56 - Kargbo replaces Igiehon

89 - Tetek's goal kick finds [b]Kouassi[/b in their half of the field. Short pass to Mohammed, and the lateral continues with a longer pass to Warrell. Drop pass into the box, and Ahenkorah scores his second of the game. 2-0

8.6 for Robert Warrell and 8.8 for PotM Edwin Ahenkorah. Not our best outing, but good enough.

Transfer Out - MR Evans Kouassi (26) - Burgess Hills Rhinos
These guys are really, really starting to piss me off with how they keep stealing my players. That's the third one this year they've swiped from me.

I missed the game, but Youth Candidates beat U18s 3-2. Two guys worth signing: DL Chris Davies (3* potential) and [b]MR Daryl McDonald (4* potential). There's a couple other 3* guys, but I don't see us ever using MCs heavily any time soon, and we're loaded at striker.

I missed the interview deadline on a couple of semipro clubs that really intrigued me. Boo.

@ Forest Row II (5th)
G: Bojan Tetek
DC: Viv Pritchard/Scott Reed/Spencer Hamilton
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Robert Warrell/Daryl McDonald
S: Edwin Ahenkorah/Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

With injuries and the like, we're forced to go with a weird 3-2-2-3 setup. Even a draw clinches promotion

57 - Allman on for injured Warrell; Kargbo for tired Igiehon

63 - Allman dribbles down the left flank, and his intended cross for Gray is a fluke goal instead. 1-0

78 - Heh. 1-1

81 - Our backline sucks ass. 1-2

What an obnoxious defeat. We're still in the driver's seat, but more than ever I'm looking to get out of this slogfest and move up. We break the Mid Sussex Division Six goals record with 39, which is cool I guess.

[Izulde]

vs Wisdom Sports (Sommerville Challenge Cup Semifinal)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: James Crane/Spencer Hamilton/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Ahmed Mohammed/Dan Cotterill
S: Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

Decided to try a 3-2-3-2 DM for shits and giggles, and for something different besides the 3 striker setup. It's a surprise for the team we have a long Cup history with, having battled them for the Mid Sussex Junior Challenge Cup the last two years.

6 - Igiehon hurt again. Kargbo on.

20 - Allman hits the corner to Hamilton, and he gets his first ever goal for us! 1-0

28 - Plant got brushed aside there. 1-1

64 - Kargbo gets the indirect free kick and sends it to Hamilton, who nets his second goal of the game! 2-1

9.2 for PotM Spencer Hamilton, who finally had a breakthrough performance. 9.0 for Ahmed Mohammed in the quietest nine I've ever seen. 7.6 for Osamu Allman.

Wisdom Sports were the defending champs, too.

vs Eastborne Rangers II (7th)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: James Crane/Spencer Hamilton/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant/Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Ahmed Mohammed/Dan Cotterill
S: Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

9 - The ref for this game is a real tightass. Martin Parsons has already chalked up yellows for Hamilton and Igiehon, and awards a cheap penalty here when Igiehon's hammered. Gray coolly converts the PK. 1-0

Reed for Hamilton; Kargbo for Igiehon at halftime.

50 - Mohammed forward to Gray in the box for the first touch wing to Cotterill. Cross back inside finds Kargbo for the insurance. 2-0

It's the kind of match where Dan Cotterill's 7.6 is good for PotM, though Ahmed Mohammed put up a 7.5 and Passeka Kargbo got a 7.0 off the bench.

Bolney Rovers also auto-promoted, and are 2 points behind us with 2 games to play. We haven't yet secured the title.

On top of that, Dan Cotterill is out 3 weeks after twisting his knee late last match.

Transfer In - DC/MCLR/AMC Russell Fry - 34
We've been trying frantically to shore up our backline and everyone keeps rejecting us. Finally we grab Fry on a flier. He's good at MC, but meh everywhere else. He'll start anyway.

@ Scaynes Hill (Mid Sussex Junior Challenge Cup Semifinal
G: Bojan Tetek
D: James Crane/Russell Fry/Spencer Hamilton/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant
M: Osamu Allman/Ahmed Mohammed/Daryl McDonald
S: Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

At half, Reed for Plant; Warrell for Allman; Cook for Mohammed because of fatigue.

52 - Cook's free kick shot is pushed away by the keeper, but Igiehon charges forth to put away the rebound. 1-0

68 - Crane fucked up. 1-1

78 - GOD DAMN IT!!!! 1-2

And just like that, our Mid Sussex Junior Cup dynasty goes up in smoke. All the backline defections absolutely killed us, and we could never get the players in to shore it back up.

I'm so done with this team after this season.

vs Ashwood Hurst II (8th)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: James Crane/Russell Fry/Spencer Hamilton/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant
M: Osamu Allman/Ahmed Mohammed/Daryl McDonald
S: Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

32 - Igiehon, playing with a dead leg, exchanges passes with McDonald, our youth pull right midfielder then crossing into the box to Gray for the score. 1-0

40 - Allman takes the cross from Gill and fires. Deflection. Gray gets the rebound. Deflection. Gray a second time, and it's in! 2-0

Kargbo in for the injured Igiehon at the break.

55 - Allman has it just outside the box and feeds Gray. The shot's deflected, but the keeper doesn't get back in time, and a speedy McDonald comes through to power in his first ever goal. 3-0

7.7 for Carl Gill, 7.5 for Nick Plant, 8.8 for Daryl McDonald, 8.3 for Ahmed Mohammed, and 9.2 for PotM Jamie Gray.

Bolney Rovers suffered a shocking upset loss, so we clinch the Division Six title!!!

With 41 points, we break the Division Six record. Jamie Gray breaks the Division Six goalscoring record with 12. At 16 years, 323 days, Daryl McDonald becomes the youngest ever Keymer & Hassocks player to score a goal.

@ Burgess Hill Rhinos (Sommerville Challenge Cup Final)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: James Crane/Russell Fry/Spencer Hamilton/Carl Gill
DM: Nick Plant
M: Osamu Allman/Ahmed Mohammed/Dan Cotterill
S: Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

If we'd won the Mid Sussex Junior Cup Semifinal, we'd get two shots as these thieving assholes. Alas, we only have the one, so I really want to whip these dudes.

Ash Walker is in the lineup at MC, and Evans Kouassi is playing striker. On the bench is Dan Okojie.

Reed for stupid ass Fry with the yellow at half, Kargbo for tired Igiehon.

65 - SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT!!!! Walker is off and Okojie on now BTW. 0-1

87 - Gray with the long range bomb!!!!!!! 1-1

89 - Reed with the IFK... and he kicks it to Gray in the box for the second score!!!!!!! 2-1

Jamie Gray single-handedly carried us to victory with his 8.8, netting goals #19 and 20 en route.

Ratfucker Kevin Ellison says he's pissed at the loss and calls me "a very average coach". Hey, Kevin! Eat a dick! And you're the one who kept stealing my players, you baldheaded goatfucker!

LOL! I changed his nickname to Goatfucker and it took. Very nice. I removed it, though, because I'm not that much of a dick. Not like he is.

This is how little I care about the last game of the season against Bolney Rovers. I'm not going to write it up, and I let my assman pick the team.

We win 3-2 after coming back from an 0-2 deficit on long-range strikes by Dan Cotterill, Passeka Kargbo (sub in) and fittingly, with 89 minutes on the board, James Crane, the master of fightbacks in terms of his career.

Ashwood Hurts II earns relegation on the last day.

There's one more thing left to play for - the Malins Challenge Cup. That's if I'm still here, as I've identified a semipro club I want to take over.

Bolney Rovers sets the Division Six average attendance record with 113, breaking their own record of 97. We broke that, too, so pfeh. Chris Moon from Newick breaks the average rating record with 7.7.

The semipro club dismisses interest while their manager is still under contract. Okay.

vs Hartfield (Malins Challenge Cup Final)
G: Bojan Tetek
D: James Crane/Russell Fry/Spencer Hamilton/Carl Gill
DM: Jack Walder
M: Osamu Allman/Ahmed Mohammed/Dan Cotterill
S: Jamie Gray/Bennie Igiehon

I guarantee victory. Opposing manager gets butthurt.

55 - [b]Ahenkorah[b] for Igiehon and striker switch; Pritchard for Fry

Plant replaces yellow card Walder at the end of regulation.

100 - Crane has it on the left perimeter of the box. He kicks it forward to Ahenkorah for the long backpass to Plant. 25 yard strike by my favorite youth pull ever, and he scores his first goal of the year!!!! 1-0

117 - Mohammed has his shirt pulled, earning a red for the opposing player, and that's it.

7.6 for Carl Gill, 8.1 for Ahmed Mohammed, and 8.1 for PotM Nick Plant off the bench. Beautiful, just beautiful.

Hartfield played us a lot tougher than I expected. But hey that's our third straight Malins Challenge Cup trophy. 590 people showed up, breaking the tournament attendance record.

Dan Okojie and James Crane are inducted into the Keymer & Hassocks All-Time 11 as starters. Nathan Dennis finally gets in as a reserve.



Close vote for Fans Player of the Year.

Robert Warrell, Nick Plant, and Daryl McDonald were the standout yearly trainers.

Talks progress with a semipro team other than the one I pursued. Keymer & Hassocks' board is pissed. I don't care. They don't have a team name and their logo is stupid. I also don't want to go through the grind anymore, especially when our backline is so suck ass.

Scayne Hills beats the traitor Burgess Hills Rhinos 1-1 on penalty kicks in the Mid Sussex Junior Cup final. Haha! They set a new attendance record too with 575 people.

$10k profit for Keymer & Hassocks, giving them $60k in the bank. Stadium purchase failed. Yemi Odubade announces his retirement. Good.

Interestingly enough, despite being a semi-pro club, they're of lower stature than Keymer & Hassocks, thanks to my excellent work there. Wow!

Keymer & Hassocks' board still won't improve the youth academy.

None of my current staff wants to move with me. Uh, okay. I sign a one year contract, worth $7k.

Really looking forward to shaping this team in my own image!

More details next post on my move.

[Izulde]

Woodley Town FC Kestrels
They are in fact several orders below Keymer & Hassocks in stature, and with a $15k total budget when I joined, the only guys we can pry loose are non-contract guys, with a maximum of $75 p/a for Key Players.

I cleared out the staff, and at friendly season start, we have me, a Chief Staff making $4k, and a boatload of loan players for the entire season who I brought on sight unseen, but who had full bars in the precise roles I ask for in my 4-4-2 Diamond setup.

It's gonna be an ugly season. Oh, and they're $9.6k in the red after I mutually terminate everyone.

The Storks have been the poster child of suckiness in this universe, only finishing as high as 9th out of 14 teams once. The good news is, there's no relegation in this division.

It goes like this:

Hellenic League Division One East
Hellenic League Premier Division
Southern League First Division South/West
Southern Premier
Isthmian 1st Divisions
Isthmian Premier
Conference North/South

So we're at Level 13.

Putting that in perspective, Keymer & Hassocks began at Level 23, and I took them up to Level 18. So sure I jumped up 5 levels with this move, and to a semipro team, but the stature is much lower, and in terms of the money we can offer, we're essentially an Amateur team.

And one that has to watch its bottom line.

We add an Assman and a Physio, both at $4k/year.

5000-1 odds of winning the division. We well and truly stink.

[Izulde]

We're a bunch of loaners with only a couple guys on the regular team playing meaningful minutes. The board just wants us to "attempt to be competitive" in the league, and we're not expected to get beyond the first round in the Hellenic Cup. There's silver stars everywhere, and my attempts to land guys in actual transfer all fail miserably.

@ Wantage
G: Kieran Watson*
D: Michael Murphy/Frank Mannion/Maurice Maloney/Pete Howes*
DM: Graham Barnett
M: Martin Slater/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hilton
S: Andy Cox*/Jason Bamford

* - Denotes original signed guy. Everyone else, including an injured striker who would normally start, is on loan.

19 - We'll be underdogs in every game we play. 0-1

47 - Slater ahead to Hilton, and then the long line drive to Cox. He's wrecked as the ball comes to him, but as he's falling, he manages to kick the ball to streaking Bamford for the goal! 1-1

60 - Slater makes an exceptional interception after we have so many clearances they get right back. He hoofs it sharply to Bamford, who returns the earlier favor by striking a 25 yard pass ahead of Cox. He dribbles and then parks just outside the half-circle. Sizes up his shot.. and fires in the long-range goal! 2-1

7.2 for Graham Barnett despite a yellow, 7.9 for Jason Bamford, and 8.3 for PotM Andy Cox. I'm going to use subs as little as possible, because most of the players have stupid shutout and goal bonuses that I don't want to pay, and unused sub bonuses, which is lame. I did force Pete Howes, the lone truly good original player on this team, to sign a new deal that has the same p/a, but none of those bonuses.

Huge upset in my first ever game as the Storks manager!

22 season tickets sold.

The wage screen says I'm $1.05k in the red, even though there's no one signed to a part-time contract other than the staff, which adds up to $7k me, $4k scout, $4k assman, $4k physio, which is $19k, and we're $14.7k budget, so we'd be more than that in the red if staff wages applied.

That means I'm going to have to terminate a bunch of people. I do, and get up to $7.6k clear of the budget.

vs South Park Reserves (9th)
G: Kieran Watson*
D: Michael Murphy/Frank Mannion/Maurice Maloney/Pete Howes*
DM: Graham Barnett
M: Martin Slater/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hilton
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

Michael Cook is an absolute stud of a loaner (4.5/4.5) we nabbed. Really excited to have him on board.

5 - Yeah, we're gonna get whipped like Cartman was facing us. 0-1

12 - Hilton wings it out to Howes, and from there it's a diagonal ladder of Richards and Bamford into the box, with the last striking home a goal. We're using Counter strategy, BTW. 1-1

29 - Richards on the corner, and Maloney's head hammers a long rang strike! 2-1

36 - Sigh. 2-2

50 - Gareth Gillett on for Mannion the mistake maker.

57 - Barnett passes to Hilton for the one touch pass to Bamford. He turns around in the half-circle and scorches home his second goal! 3-2

90 - HE WAS OFFSIDES YOU FUCKING APERAPING COCKGNOBBLING REFF!!!! FUCK YOU FUCK YOU SDHOGHASOGHASOHGOSHEWEROHASEOFHAWEOH!!!! 3-3

God, such FUCKING BULLSHIT!

Transfer In - GK Gary Ward (18)
I've discovered the secret is to raid the Unattached players. That's where the real gold is. Ward is the single best player on the club right now, though we have more guys in the pipeline. $25 p/a deal, too.

@ Didcot Reserves (12th)
G: Gary Ward**
D: Michael Murphy/Frank Mannion/Maurice Maloney/Pete Howes*
DM: Graham Barnett
M: Martin Slater/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hilton
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

18 - Beautiful rainbow by Hilton all the way down the left flank for Cook to latch. The cross to Bamford sees three defenders there, and they just blink while he bams it on in. 1-0

29 - Missed header by one of our defenders. Didn't see who. 1-1

66 - Gillett for Maloney; Joe Weeks for yellow card Barnett

84 - Weeks with the brilliant interception, and he passes to Hilton for a first touch pass just ahead of Bamford. Dribble into the box, and BOOM TOWN! 2-1

91 - Howes hits Mannion on the corner, but Mannion pops a head cross to Gillett who waits a bit, and then guarantees no late heroics this game! 3-1

9.0 for PotM Dennis Hilton, 8.8 for Jason Bamford, and 7.4 for Gareth Gillett off the bench. Another huge upset in Gary Ward's professional debut.

Transfer In - DLCR Rich Byram (19)
Exceptional at DL (4.5*), and a huge upgrade over the loaner we had there. My priciest acquisition yet with a $45 p/a contract, but he brings the value. We also dump a $40 p/a guy to get him, so it's not like it's a huge cut into our salary.

Transfer In - DL Thomas Keating (18)
Another fantastic DL guy, he can only play there, so he'll anchor that side while Byram moves to DC. $30 p/a deal.

Transfer In - DC/DM/MC Jean Marie Kouyombo (19)
Has Central African roots as well, so we'll see what nation he ends up declaring for. Absolutely phenomenal central defender and defensive midfielder (4.5 in both). Will slot in at DM on a $30 p/a deal.

We end up cancelling another DC/DM deal as a result of the previous signings. I'd rather fill in the gaps with loan players for now, unless I find someone super versatile willing to play for $20-25 p/a. Oops. We shouldn't have canceled that deal. Shit. Oh well.

@ Dorking (3rd)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Pete Howes
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Martin Slater/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hilton
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

Obviously a big early season match. A win here would go a long way to establishing ourselves as legitimate contenders for promotion (Top 2 promote).

8 - Spend all that money upgrading the defense and goal, still allow a goal. [b]0-1[b]

Keating stunk the first half, so he's pulled for Murphy.

84 - Bamford runs down a longball into the box and crosses to the six yard box for Cook to score! 1-1

The first month's report is in from the club. Obviously we're going to be losing money every month, because that's just how it is in LLM land. My status has upgrade from Stable to Secure, however, and the board is loving how strict I'm being with finances - we have $5.05k still available in the wage budget. They're upset that Gareth Hawkins, who was a favored player, was released in the Great Purge.

Transfer In - MLCR Thomas Hodges (18)
The curve is destroyed again, and he only cost $25 p/a! 5/5 at both ML and MR! This is the type of steal find you get that you celebrate, because of how much better he makes your team.

With four league matches played, we're one of four teams all knotted up with 8 points a piece with 2 wins and 2 draws. A far cry from the preseason media prediction of 2nd to last.

Keymer & Hassocks won their first league game in Division Five. Only the winner promotes. They're running a flat 4-5-1 Gill/Pritchard/Hamilton/Crane backline - Allman/Walder/NewGuy/Mohammed/Cotterill midfield and Gray all by himself up front.

And somehow Lewis Haldane is making $3.3k as the manager, even though Keymer & Hassocks is an Amateur side still. Weird. But very cool to see him get promoted from coach to the top job. As you might guess, K&H are predicted to win Division Five, and they need to in order to promote.

[Young Drachma]

5000-1 odds of winning the division. We well and truly stink.
__________________

I've seen this movie before...



Good luck though. Cool you got to move up, even if it's with a different club.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Young Drachma

I've seen this movie before...



Good luck though. Cool you got to move up, even if it's with a different club.

That's exactly what I thought of when I saw those odds. BTW, I got team name wrong - it's Kestrels, not Storks. Storks are the team I tried pressuring into firing their manager and failed.

vs Shrivenham (12th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Maurice Maloney//Pete Howes
DM: Graham Bennett
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
S: Kevin Gibbens/Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

Our second formation, the old 4-1-2-3 DM that we used intermittently at Keymer & Hassocks. We're favored for the first time in my tenure here.

56 - Weeks on for Barnett. Their keeper has been fricking amazing all game long.

66 - Ugh. 0-1

71 - Howes crosses far post to Gibbens, but rather than take the shot, he heads it back across the goal mouth when an unmarked Bamford scores. 1-1

77 - Gibbens picks up his second yellow. Ugh.

This is one we should have won, and it drops us down in the table to a very square third, 2 points behind the co-leaders.

Transfer In - AMC/ST/MC Daren Kirk (20)
Our most expensive player by far at $60 p/a, but it's really tough to find great AMCs, and Kirk is one. Plus he can flex out to a couple of different positions. He'll be worth the money. With his signing, we're at just under $851 of the wage budget, so that's the end of our shopping spree.

Transfer In - DR Danny Harvey (19)
Okay, so I lied. Elite upgrade at DR and $5 p/a cheaper than Pete Howes? Bye, Felicia! New team captain(s) incoming. We got the deal done just as takeover talks are heating up around the club. That also puts us $1k under budget. *Now* I'm done, barring any steals of our guys.

Rich Byram and Thomas Hodges are newly appointed captain and vice-captain. Most of the squad is pleased by the change, but Rich is freaked out about the pressure of the role. You'll grow into it, kid.

vs Holyport (8th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Martin Slater/Jason Richards
AM: Daren Kirk
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

51 - Kirk sprays it ahead to Cook, who after a short dribble crosses to Bamford for the wide open score. 1-0

53 - Fuckity fuck. 1-1

61 - Gillett in for Byram, who is so anxious over being captain, he's fucking up all game.

92 - Kirk on the free kick into the box. Mannion's shot is pushed away, but Cook is there for the rebound score!!!!! 2-1

7.3 for Frank Mannion and Michael Cook as our highlights. I'm pissed the ref allowed them another shot on goal at the end of the game. PotM is their defensive midfielder.

@ Clanfield (Hellenic Challenge Cup 1st Round)
G: Gary Ward
D: Michael Murphy/Maurice Maloney/Frank Mannion//Rich Byram
DM: Graham Bennett
M: Martin Slater/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hilton
S: Michael Cook/Kevin Gibbens

Short turnaround = this lineup.

55 - Gillett at MR; Byram shifts to DC to replace Mannion, and Harvey hops on at DR.

85 - Great hustle in a takeaway by Barnett, who passes to Hilton. The long pass into space has Cook picking it up. Defender whiffs on the slide tackle when Cook dribbles in the box, and he puts away the late goal!! 1-0

8.3 by Michael Cook, 8.7 for PotM Dennis Hilton, and 7.3 for Graham Bennett, as we just pulled off a massive upset.

No money, though. We'd need to win the whole damn thing to get cash.

@ Reading Town (13th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Maurice Maloney/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Daren Kirk
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

12 - Powerful header to clear a free kick by Maloney starts a move that finishes with Bamford winging right side to Richards, who then dribbles into the box and crosses for Hodges to score his first ever goal with the Kestrels. Been a long time since I've seen that winger to winger connection. 1-0

18 - Lot of traffic passes from Hodges and Kirk[/b], the last a H2K that translates to a feed for Cook in the box. He lays off to Bamford for the sizzler strike home. 2-0

57 - Gillett replaces Mannion

63 - Weeks for Kouymbo

77 - Richards runs down the right flank and simply crosses into the six yard box for Bamford to sink his second goal and lock this game up. 3-0

85 - Weeks snags a clearance and gives it to Keating. Back to Weeks[/b] and he passes into space in the box, [b]where Bamford is there first and gets the hat trick, the first for these Woodley Town Kestrels under my watch!!!![b] Yes!!!! 4-0

7.7 for Danny Harvey, 7.5 for Maurice Maloney, 8.5 for Jason Richards, 8.4 for Thomas Hodges, 8.8 for Daren Kirk, 9.6 for PotM Jason Bamford, and 7.9 for Michael Cook. In fact, all fulltime starters except the keeper (6.9) were 7.4 or better!!!!

The most complete game we've put together so far, and we're now not only in second place, but one of three teams with a +8 goal differential! Jason Bamford scored his 10th goal on that last one by the way. In doing so, he's destroyed both the Woodley Town goal scoring record (previously 7) and the Hellenic Division One East record (formerly 9).

Keymer & Hassocks have won all three of their league games and are in first. They also just won a Sommerville Challenge Cup match. A few new players have come in, including a Nigerian young kid, so they're still tapping into the pipeline I established with British-Nigerians. There's a Head of Youth Development there, too.

Good news all around for everyone.

[Izulde]

vs Wantage Reserves (9th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Daren Kirk
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

4 - Richards passes down the line for Bamford, who dribbles down the right flank and stops before the touchline. Kick back to Richards, and the center to Cook results in a header goal. 1-0

16 - Not quite enough leap for Ward to get it. 1-1

18 - Thanks for the own goal gift! 2-1

46 - What an assbaggery of defending. 2-2

48 - Gibbens for Bamford; Barnett for Kouyombo

63 - Keating throws in to Kirk, gets it back, and crosses to Gibbens, who fires the shot in a defender's face and scores his first ever goal for us! 3-2

[b[79[/b] - Two lucky longe range shots in one game? GTFO! 3-3

Our backline really fucked us this game. We drop back to 3rd.

Board's approval of me is up to Very Secure. Thanks, guys.

@ South Park (4th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Daren Kirk
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

16 - We like own goal presents. 1-0

Gibbens subs in for Cook at the half.

53 - Gillett replaces Richards

58 - Ugh. 1-1

76 - Double ugh. 1-2

82 - We're awarded a PK and Harvey converts! 2-2

Barely got away with a draw, there, and sure we were underdogs, but still. We're back up to 2nd on goal differential.

[Izulde]

12 games in a row without a loss is a new Woodley Town record. Go me.

Daryl Morrison is willing to pay $22k to take over the club, which has a valuation of $45k. That'd be a steal for him.

[b]vs Henley (7th)]/b]
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Daren Kirk
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

50 - Byram is replaced with Gillett. Sliding down to DC is Kouyombo, with Barnett taking over at DM.

81 - Keating doubleteams with Gillett to strip the ball away and passes to Kirk, who longballs it perfectly for Cook. A dribble into the box and shot later, and we've finally gotten ahead. 1-0

7.1 for Danny Harvey, 7.9 for Daren Kirk, and 8.3 for PotM Michael Cook. With the victory we jump into 1st on goal differential!

If you'd told me before the season started that we would be in 1st after our first 10 games, I'd have said you were full of it. But here we are.

Dennis Hilton wants his loan terminated. Yeah, that's not going to happen. I'll get him some more games, however. Michael Murphy, on the other hand, I'm happy to terminate the loan of. We've got two great DL players.

@ Rayners Lane (3rd)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hilton
S: Michael Cook/Daren Kirk

Kirk is both a phenomenal AMC and ST, so we can put him anywhere we want and he'll be amazing. Obviously this game is a very, very big deal.

28 - We should have allowed like 2 goals by now, so whatever. 0-1

36 - OMFG 0-2

38 - Finally a breakthrough, as on the ensuing kickoff, Hilton gets it to Cook in the box, who crosses on his way out to the touchline, and Kirk sinks his first ever goal for us. 1-2

54 - They goal kick, we get it back and the ball gets to Kirk for the 40 yard shot that has the keeper still way out of the net! Crazy, crazy goal. Barnett in at DM after Byram moves to DL and Kouyombo slides down. Gillett replaces Mannion as well. 2-2

68 - Fucking shit defense in the middle. 2-3

77 - Cook has five defenders on him and wings out to Richards. Cross into the box, and Kirk has everyone beat for the hat trick! 3-3

Dorking lost, so we got another point on them there. Gary Ward has been awful the last few games, so I'm going to have a talk with him about that. He accepts that he needs to get his shit together, and so does Rich Byram, wo had a 6.2 last game and has been quite inconsistent.

[djsatu]

Nice to see something different from the norm. Loving this so far man.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by djsatu

Nice to see something different from the norm. Loving this so far man.

Thanks. I don't know what will happen if I ever get to a point where I, you know, have actually money to spend.

Everyone is gushing over Daren Kirk after his hat trick, but the guy's put up strong performances the last several games. Martin Slater's loan is terminated because he was mad about his lack of PT, and I didn't feel like giving him any.

@ Holyport (Hellenic League Challenge Cup Second Round)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Maurice Maloney/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Graham Barnett
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hilton
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

Short turnarounds are boo.

Kirk for Hilton; Byram for Harvey at half.

Two cracks by Jason Bamford in the match. One called offsides, the other he flat-out flubbed, so we're on to PKs.

They convert, just barely. 0-1
Cook makes it! 1-1
They score. 1-2
Richards sends it in! 2-2
[b]Ward blocks the shot!!!! 2-2
Kirk kicks with style, right over the top of the keeper's head! 3-2
They even it up... 3-3
Hodges sinks it! 4-3
They're making us go to the last guy. 4-4

And so it's all up to Graham Barnett... and HE KICKS IT IN!!!!! WE ADVANCE!!!!!

This was all down to Jason Richards and his 7.8 PotM carrying us on a night when our strikers stunk it up.

@ Chinnor (13th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Jean Marie Kouyombo//Danny Harvey
DM: Joe Weeks
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hilton
S: Kevin Gibbens/Daren Kirk

Another short rest. Don't let the 13th place fool you - these guys have won three straight games, so they're not going to be an easy beat.

Bamford in for injured Gibbens at half.

58 - Mannion replaces Kouyombo

95 - Seconds before the whistle blows, Hilton is forced off with injury.

Another lousy day for our strikers. Kevin Gibbens is out 2-3 weeks; Dennis Hilton is done 7-9 weeks.

We're still a point ahead of everyone else, but we need to start getting some fucking wins on the board.

vs Chalfont Wasps (8th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Daren Kirk
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

11 - Oh look. A bullshit penalty. 0-1

55 - Kouyombo to DC; Gillett at DC; Weeks at DM.

59 - 0-2

79 - Fuck this shit. 0-3

Fortunately we're still in first after that bullshit, but we've been playing like total ass.

I think it's time we admit that Rich Bynam is a complete flop as a central defender and cut ties with him.

We've lost just shy of $300 the last two months now, but I'm up to Untouchable thanks to our leading position, albeit on goal differential.

I make Rich Bynam a stopper and Frank Mannion a cover guy, in hopes that making those adjustments will bring the best out of them. I also change Thomas Hodges to a wide midfielder, even though I usually have wingers there.

vs Wantage (7th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Daren Kirk
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

Gillett replaces Bynam at half.

62 - Fuck this team. 0-1

79 - Finally, a fucking goal. On a long range shot from Cook, but we'll take anything right now. 1-1

92 - Kirk on the corner and Kouyombo has it, traps it, and short passes to Richards. The shot deflects off a defender and into the net for a late game miracle to save our lead!!!! 2-1

7.3 for Jason Richards, 7.6 for Daren Kirk, and 8.3 for PotM Michael Cook. FINALLY!

Just over halfway through the season, it's an insanely crowded table up top. And really, there's only one bad team in the league. That's Reading Town, who have just 5 points.

6 games into their own league play, Keymer & Hassocks are in 1st by 5 points.

We really need to make some changes to our roster, but I can't do that because this takeover process is dragging on FOREVER!

@ South Park Reserves (11th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Daren Kirk
S: Michael Cook/Kevin Gibbens

54 - Bamford replaces Cook and striker switch.

Garbage game. We drop to 2nd.

@ Pegasus Juniors (Hellenic League Challenge Cup Third Round)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Daren Kirk
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

19 - Kirk blasts it down the right flank for Bamford to chase down and far post cross. Cook march-step kicks the ball into the net, and we have an early lead for what feels like the first time in forever. 1-0

At half, Barnett comes in for Kirk and we change to a flat 4-4-2, with Barnett and Kouyombo as the central midfielders.

68 - Cook kicks it back to Barnett, and a flare pass for Hodges has him scorching a shot past the out of the box, out of position keeper! Malone comes on for tired Byramand is a Defender, whilst Mannion changes to a Stopper role. 2-0

79 - Charging interception by Maloney and he sends it to Bamford for the lateral to Hodges. Long ball to Cook downfield, and he runs... shoots. Deflected. But Cook has the presence of mind and pace to race forward and drop it in before the keeper can get up again. 3-0

85 - Harvey throw in to Barnett, ground pass ahead of Cook into the box, and with crossbar help, there's the hat trick!!!! 4-0

91 - Gave up a goal on a last minute corner. Whatever. 4-1

7.5 for Danny Harvey, 8.3 for Thomas Hodges, 7.7 for Jason Bamford, PotM for Michael Cook and his 9.5 game. But the real standout for my money was Graham Barnett putting in an 8.9 off the bench.

With his third Player of the Match award of the season, Michael Cook breaks Gareth Hawkins' old single season club record.

Takeover finally complete. And the jackass takes out a $13.76 bank loan. What.the.actual.fuck?!

Whatever. I'm still here, and now we can go back to looking for better players for our promotion push in the second half of the season.

Oh, side note: Woodley Town has been in the FA Vase two different seasons but lost in the extra preliminary qualifying round each time. No, I don't know what that means, or even what determines FA Vase eligibility. Obviously not in it this year. This is also the first time in this universe that the Kestrels are playing in the Hellenic League Cup quarterfinals, having made the third round just once before.

[Izulde]

vs Didcot Reserves (6th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Rich Byram/Frank Mannion//Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hinton
S: Michael Cook/Daren Kirk

Likely the last time we'll see Rich Byram play for us, and Frank Mannion will likely lose his starting spot as well with a couple of transfers we've got coming in soon.

2 - Byram fucked us over. 0-1

48 - Kouyombo to DC, Gillett at DC, Barnett at DM.

67 - Kirk with the kickback to Barnett. Stupid long range shot is pushed away, but Hodges speeds forth to power in the rebound. 1-1

The slide continues, falling to third.

Transfer In - DC Damien Conway (19)
Elite DC willing to play for $30 p/a. Huge upgrade in tackling and marking, and an immediate starter.

Transfer In - DC/DM/MC Kevin Cloke (17) - From East Preston
Have to shell out $45 p/a for him but that's perfectly fine with me, given his versatility and star quality in the middle of the backline.

Rich Byram and Kieran Watson are handed their walking papers to get us back under budget. I'm fine with a gray player backup goalie.

Thomas Hodges becomes the new captain, promoting from vice-captain, and newcomer Kevin Cloke is appointed vice-captain. Everyone is yay with the appointments except Hodges, who also feels the pressure. Suck it up, buttercup.

My stellar turnaround work with the Kestrels hasn't gone unnoticed. I get linked to a bunch of jobs, including the Kendal Town Mintcakes. But Greyfriars Bobby already had that gig.

vs Dorking (5th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Damien Conway/Kevin Cloke/Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hinton
S: Michael Cook/Daren Kirk

We and Dorking have both fallen from the loftier heights we had earlier this season, so this game is big for both of our ambitions to get back up in the promotion and title chases.

4 - Keating throws the ball in and gets it back, then centers to Kouyombo. Feed into the box, and Kirk beats the keeper on the 1v1, although he almost missed the shot. 1-0

10 - Nobody even challenged on that corner kick. 1-1

23 - Sure, we'll take Harvey's freak goal! 2-1

40 - Motherfucker. 2-2

61 - Kouyombo to DC for Cloke; Barnett in. Bamford replaces Cook.

87 - Own goal gift. Thanks! 3-2

8.0 for Jean Marie Kouyombo and Jason Richards; 8.9 for PotM Dennis Hilton. We really deserved to win this game, so it's nice to see we get it. Oh yeah, Danny Harvey had a 7.4, too.



I mean, that's nice and all, but I'd still rather be in the promotion spots, instead of 1 point back. Dorking's central defender who coughed up the own goal got fined, and he's pissed.

Dennis Hilton breaks the PotM record with 4. Funny how it's two loan players who are getting the accolades.

BTW, new calculations are that Gary Ward is a 2*/4*. No wonder we've been leaking goals in our 4-4-2 Diamond Wide Setup. We've had a mediocre goalie back there.

I try to extend my staff at the six month mark. They all reject me, and Rob Boardman, our stellar scout, says he's leaving at the end of his deal because our team stature isn't good enough. Fuck off.

Somehow we made a profit of $17.18k last month. I have no idea how. Loan repayments have to start now, however.

@ Shrivenham (12th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Damien Conway/Kevin Cloke/Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hinton
S: Michael Cook/Daren Kirk

3 - Hodges kicks it back to Conway for the long pass to Kirk. Pass into box, and Cook slams it home. 1-0

68 - Shit corner kick defense. 1-1

77 - Bamford on for Kirk; Barnett for Kouyombo.

Really unlucky to not win that match. We do sneak back into 2nd on goal differential though.

@ Holyport (7th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Damien Conway/Kevin Cloke/Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hinton
S: Michael Cook/Daren Kirk

10 - If we could stop sucking at set pieces, that'd be really great. 0-1

55 - Kirk drops to AMC; Bamford at ST.

80 - Keating fucks up and guarantees we can't win. 0-2

@ Fairford (Hellenic League Challenge Cup Quarterfinal)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Damien Conway/Kevin Cloke/Danny Harvey
DM: Graham Bennett
M: Thomas Hodges/Jason Richards
AM: Dennis Hinton
S: Michael Cook/Daren Kirk

I terminated Kevin Gibbens' loan before the game, because I got sick of his manager bitching.

35 - Whatever. We were heavy underdogs anyway. 0-1

This game was such bullshit. Didn't even bother detailing the subs. Fucking cockmunching ref kept giving us yellows but letting his dudes off with a warning, and Kirk got hurt, too. Dislocated shoulder - out 2-3 months.

Fuck.that. And fuck the draw for fucking us giving AWAY GAMES FOR EVERY FUCKING MATCH!

It gets even better. Thomas Hodges will miss our next match with the flu, and we have no cover. So we'll go with a 4-3-1-2 with 2 DM setup for the next game.

...Or not! Game is postponed 2 weeks due to our pitch sucking ass. That's what a loan-happy, dumb new owner will get you. I've already applied to another club, and then I get the news that a team I really wanted to join last go round is now open, and I immediately put in for that one too, and declare my interest.

But the board is cockblocking my interest in going elsewhere, demanding a compensatory fee for a move. If they try to stop me from going the club I want to be at, I'll resign, and they can kiss my ass as they lose their best season ever.

vs Reading Town (14th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Damien Conway/Kevin Cloke/Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Graham Barnett/Jason Richards
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

My old 4-1-3-2 DM setup.

82 - Kouyombo plays an amazing longball for Cook, who stops. waits, and crosses to Bamford for the score. 1-0

We jump back up to 2nd, but it was the kind of shit match where Danny Harvey's 7.2 wins PotM.

vs South Park (1st)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Damien Conway/Kevin Cloke/Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Graham Barnett/Jason Richards
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

Our season pretty much comes down to this match, IMO. We can't afford to lose, period.

43 - Kouyomb sends it out to Hodges on the wing for the cross to Cook, and whoota! Ahead! 1-0

48 - FFS. Kouyombo to MC, Weeks at DM. 1-1

56 - Mannion for Cloke

69 - Well, that's that. 1-2

89 - Harvey with the booming kick down the right flank to clear, and Bamford latches on. Cross to all alone Cook, and we snag the late draw. 2-2

Third place team got hammered 0-3, so we actually gain a point on them.

I'm suddenly linked to a very prestigious team (relative to what I've accomplished), and they come in with a huge budget, so I naturally apply. It would be a major leap up, one I think I've earned after what I've gone through here.

The original job I really wanted, the board comes back and says they're willing to let me go, even though they really don't want to see me pack my bags.

The job I really wanted comes in with their offer... and it's a slap in the face. They expect me to take a pay cut down to $5.5k from the $7k I'm making. Ilford FC comes back with $6.5k when I demand double my salary, and I'm willing to go down a bit, but they break off talks. Assholes. Did they really fucking think I was going to take *any* kind of pay cut to manage them?

@ Wantage Reserves (11th)
G: Gary Ward
D: Thomas Keating/Damien Conway/Kevin Cloke/Danny Harvey
DM: Jean Marie Kouyombo
M: Thomas Hodges/Graham Barnett/Jason Richards
S: Michael Cook/Jason Bamford

46 - Are you fucking kidding me right now?! Umpteen shots missed and they get one fucking shot in before half and it goes in?! 0-1

71 - By this time we've had Kouyombo move to MC; Weeks in at DM, and Mannion coming on for Cloke. Bamford plays a 25 yard pass for Cook to sing in a 25 yard shot. 1-1

4 matches left. We drop down to 3rd, a point behind.

[Izulde]

Michael Cook broke the Woodley Town PotM record with 5, and also has the goals scored record with 12 or however many he has now.

Remember that team with the huge wage budget? They said they were going to wait to see how their interim manager does. Suddenly, they've asked me to come in for an interview. ...Okay!

Completely different interview here. They're asking me to do things specifically. Making the first team younger I have no problem with. Sign high profile players? Get out. But they're also planning on making their previous manager a General Manager. No. I need all the power, guys. Also, since they have money, I want to bring my own staff in. Ilford FC didn't even ask about my staff. Should have known then what cheap bastards they are.

They don't make money available, so I can't bring my Chief Scout on board. Boo. Staff needs a total house cleaning - they're spending way too much money on salaries.

The offer comes in: 1 year, $15k. 15% wage increase with promotion, 35% wage drop if relegated. Buyout clause of 90% of the compensation! Wow, so basically, I'm here until I get fired.

The wage budget is in the triple digits.

Let's see if I can squeeze out some more money from them. They're willing to go up to $17.5k and lower the relegation decrease to 30%. Even if we relegate, I'd still be making $12.25k.

Okay, let's do this.


Chelmsford City FC Clarets
Founded: 1938
17th in Vanarama Conference League South
Wage Budget: $314k!
Bank Balance: -$272k - Ouch!
Facilities: Adequate corporate facilities/Below average training facilities/Basic youth facilities/Adequate junior coaching/Basic youth recruitment

Stadium: Chelmsford Sports and Athletic Center
Seats: 3,016 (1,270 seated)
Rent: 5% of gate receipts

First thing I do is release all but one of the youth players to start cutting in to the wage budget. The Clarets are $15k OVER that beautiful wage budget, so slashing will happen. I also offer a couple big money player out to clubs, and request mutual termination with our highest salaried player.

I'm also greeted with this pretty piece of news.



No one bests my authority!

Chelmsford City was third place in the Vanarama South back in 2010 and have quite a few lower league titles to their credit. In 2019, their Under 18s club won their group. The Clarets have won the Southern League Cup 3 times - 1946, 1960, and 1991. So it's been a while since they've had cup glory.

From 2008/09, after they first promoted to Vanarama South, they were a top 5 team consistently until 2012/13 - a remarkable five season stretch of success. Then they fell off a cliff, and haven't placed higher than 10th since, and even that was only once.

Season Ticket Price: $315
Season Ticket Holders: 344
Reputation: Local

As you can see, this is a hugely supported club compared to what I'm used to. This is a big, big step up.

More info: Information - Chelmsford City FC

They've had a couple manager Icons, but no manager Legends. The legends are Tony Butcher and Derek Tiffin, as you might surmise from the above link.

Keymer & Hassocks are still in 1st by 6 points with 4 games left to play. Bojan Tetek took a P/A deal with Burgess Hill Rhinos, because those dudes always steal my players. Jamie Gray wants $29k to come play for us as a Rotation player. GTFO. I try to get to Tetek to come play for us on a P/A deal, but he gets pissed at my first offer and says no.

Our players are all out of contract at the end of the season and so is the staff, so I'm just going to play out the string here. The goal is to avoid relegation, and with 11 games to play, we're 8 points clear.

My releases are blocked because we have no transfer funds to pay the compensation. A quick look over the roster says we've got the horses to run my original favorite formation in this universe of 4-1-2-3 DM Wide, so that's what we'll run with.

Transfer deadline is in a week, so we blindly throw out a couple loan offers to high value players. That proves a mistake with a goalie, who is a #2 guy on our squad. Then again, maybe not. Our assman is a 6 JPA, after all.

vs Maidenhead (9th)
G: Jordan Atkinson (Loan)
D: Calum Sturgess/Marc Lake/Nathan Buddle/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Jake Heath/Stuart Lewis
AM: George Cole/Kyle King
S: Nikolay Todorov (Bulgarian!)

Marvel Ekipeta replaces Keita at the half, and because Todorov is hurt, King slots up to ST and David Fitzpatrick comes on at AMR.

82 - Whight is sent off with a double yellow.

Very chippy game, with nobody really getting shots on target. Nikolay Todorov will miss our next game with a head injury, but be back after that.

We loan in a striker who finally commits on transfer deadline day, but beyond that, we don't make any moves. Still too much work to be done sorting out the roster. Too bad said striker stinks.

@ Dulwich Hamlet (1st)
G: Jordan Atkinson (Loan)
D: Calum Sturgess/Marc Lake/Nathan Buddle/Souleymane Keita
DM: Stuart Lewis
M: Jake Heath/James McQuilkin
AM: George Cole/Tom Christie
S: Julian Lewington (Loan)

We're going to get clobbered here. They've secured themselves a promotion playoffs spot, and really want to lock down automatic promotion.

66 - King in at AMR, Lake up to MC, and Ekpiteta at DC.

71 - Well, we held out a long time. 0-1

Two games, and no goals scored. I'm also not seeing anyone here I have any interest in keeping long-term.

Woodley Town is still 3 points behind in 3rd with 3 games to play. With 2 games left, Keymer & Hassocks are in 1st, still by 6 points, so they've all but got it locked up.

[Greyfriars Bobby]

Congratulations on the new job. I saw you had a shot at Kendal Town...it would have been fun to see how you got on there. My Mintcakes were all fictional players anyway.

I managed Chelmsford City in a game I didn't write a dynasty for; I stayed there for two years before I moved on to a job at Lewes. It's a club I wouldn't mind managing again sometime, if my journey takes me back that way.

Good luck with the Clarets!

[Izulde]

vs Kingstonian (14th)
G: Jordan Atkinson (Loan)
D: Calum Sturgess/Marc Lake/Nathan Buddle/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Jake Heath/Stuart Lewis
AM: George Cole/Kyle King
S: Nikolay Todorov

If we can pull off a win here, that would be huge, huge, YUGE!

50 - Lewis Page in for Sturgess

57 - Ekipeta or however you spell it on for injured Lake.

82 - FUCK YOU!!!! HE WAS OFFSIDES!!!! FUCKING HORSESHIT!!!! 0-1

We got fucking ROBBED of a point today! Fuck that ref up the ass with a fly-infested shitswatter!!!!!

@ Burgess Hill (21st)
G: Jordan Atkinson (Loan)
D: Calum Sturgess/Marvel Ekpiteta/Nathan Buddle/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Jake Heath/Stuart Lewis
AM: George Cole/Tom Christie
S: Julian Lewington

Marc Lake is out for 2 weeks with injury. We need to win this match, point blank.

23 - Sturgess intercepts a clearance, passes to Heath, and gets it right back. Dribble along the left flank and the cross to Lewington *finally* gets the first Chelmsford City FC Clarets goal of my tenure! 1-0

At half, Lewis moves to DC because Buddle is exhausted, and McQuilkin jumps in at MC.

49 - That's down to Lewis poor defense on the corner. 1-1

74 - McQuilkin wings out to Keita, and the cross to Lewington results in a second goal for our loanee!!! Fitzpatrick in for a tired Christie 2-1

7.3 for Souleymane Keita, 7.1 for Spencer Whight, and 8.8 for PotM Julian Lewington.

That win gives us 4 points breathing room on the drop with 4 to play. Whitehawk officially relegates. Maidstone officially is going to at least the playoffs.

Souleymane Keita becomes my first signing, earning himself a payraise from $10.5k to $16.25k. But I also dumped all the clauses except Team of the Year and a 30% promotion raise. Because let's face it, we're not promoting this season. When you factor out all the silly clauses removed, we probably end up breaking about even. I've liked his performances as a starter, and he has next-level potential.

Julian Lewington gets in Team of the Week. Very cool.

vs Oxford City (5th)
G: Jordan Atkinson (Loan)
D: Calum Sturgess/Marc Lake/Nathan Buddle/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Jake Heath/Stuart Lewis
AM: George Cole/Tom Christie
S: Nikolay Todorov

55 - Fitzpatrick is in for Cole

62 - Sigh. 0-1

69 - Page replaces Sturgess.

76 - Page recovers a clearance and bounces a ball into the box that's timed just right for Todorov to nail it in! 1-1

Should have been able to win this game, but it's another point in the coffers. Sutton United is going playoffs as well.

Nikolay Todorov is out 6-7 weeks with injury, which means he's more or less done for the season. Good thing I loaned in that striker!

The board blocks my next season transfer of a player because it'd "break the payroll budget". Obviously that's based on current dudes, none of whom I'm currently planning on re-signing outside of Keita.

vs Sutton United (3rd)
G: Jordan Atkinson (Loan)
D: Calum Sturgess/Marc Lake/Nathan Buddle/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Jake Heath/Stuart Lewis
AM: George Cole/Tom Christie
S: Julian Lewington

Yeah, let's not make things any easier, shall we?

50 - King in for Christie

62 - McQuilkin for Lewis after the latter picks up a yellow.

There's another point against a superior team! With two games left to play, we're now 5 points away from the drop. Big props to Jordan Atkinson for his PotM 8.3. He saved us again and again.

@ Billiericay (16th)
G: Jordan Atkinson (Loan)
D: Calum Sturgess/Marc Lake/Nathan Buddle/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Jake Heath/Stuart Lewis
AM: George Cole/Tom Christie
S: Julian Lewington

This is very much a winnable game. If we can get the victory here, we're safe for next season.

18 - Pfheh. 0-1

43 - Whatever. 0-2

Expitata in for Buddle; King for Christie.

51 - First ever hat trick I can remember giving up. Fucking pathetic. 0-3

We drop to 18th, but thanks to teams below us also losing, we're guaranteed to survive another year. We also have to pay out far too much money in bonuses for avoiding relegation.

Salisbury FC (17th)
G: Jordan Atkinson (Loan)
D: Calum Sturgess/Marc Lake/Nathan Buddle/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Jake Heath/Stuart Lewis
AM: George Cole/Tom Christie
S: Julian Lewingston

We face the impossible. Don't care.

35 - The ball's cleared, but Whight gets it, traps it, and fires the long range bomb in! 1-0

37 - Immediate answer. I am Jack's complete lack of surprise. 1-1

85 - I so can not wait to empty cupboard this bitch. 1-2

Merthyr Town is the last to drop.

The initial wage budget for next year is $388k with no transfer budget. I can handle that shit ton of cash, yes sir!

Problem is, all these players who suck now but have decent potential are demanding stupid amounts of money. We do get a new keeper, however, at $24k salary who I'm excited to have. More on him later.

Overall though, it looks like we're going to need to wait until July before starting to make serious moves.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Greyfriars Bobby

Congratulations on the new job. I saw you had a shot at Kendal Town...it would have been fun to see how you got on there. My Mintcakes were all fictional players anyway.

I managed Chelmsford City in a game I didn't write a dynasty for; I stayed there for two years before I moved on to a job at Lewes. It's a club I wouldn't mind managing again sometime, if my journey takes me back that way.

Good luck with the Clarets!

Thanks. It's proving tough sledding so far.

Transfer In - GK Harry Burgoyne (24)
Has 4.5* upside and is roughly equal to the man he'll be in replacing in net at the same salary, who had no upside left, and was slow in some critical areas. Burgoyne's not a top-flight keeper by any means, but he's good for this level, and IMO he'll be an overall upgrade.

I ink Spencer Whight to a $21.5k deal to keep him with the club next season. He really showed me over the last set of games that he'll flourish in my setup, and was being horribly misused prior to that. He was formerly on a P/A deal, so it's a big money jump for him.

Marc Lake takes a pay cut, going from a $300 p/a deal to a $250 p/a contract. So that's three guys from last season I've judged as good enough to keep around. Everyone else can go to hell.

Woodley Town fell all the way to 7th without me. Keymer and Hassocks maintained their 6 point lead in winning Division Five.

Transfer In ST Jamie Gray (23) - From Keymer & Hassocks
It took a *lot* of convincing and back and forth, and I paid way too much money at $27.5k, but I really, really wanted Jamie on this team. My current scout is meh on him, but I had better scouts at Keymer & Hassocks who raved about his potential as a Vanarama National League player. Keymer & Hassocks fans are *pissed*.

A few of our youth players are signed to other teams, thankfully.

Transfer In - AMC/MC/MR Chekaine Steele (23)
$27.5k, same as Jamie Gray, but he's an elite AMC who will slot in perfectly with our new 4-4-2 Diamond Narrow formation. I'm really excited to see this kid in action as a Shadow Striker.

Transfer In - DLC Jon Moran (24)
Brought him in at $17.5k to be a new starting defender, after our captain opted not to stay when we didn't offer him a new contract. BTW, he and Steele both have 5* potential according to our new 15 JPA/18 JPP scout. So these dudes are for the future.

Transfer In - MC Sean Longstaff (23)
$275 p/a deal who will fight for a starting spot at MC. We've got some more dudes coming in, so this is by no means a guarantee. But it's another high potential signing.

Transfer In - ST Piteu Crouz (24)
$250 p/a deal as a backup. Will most likely be our third striker.

Transfer In - ST Aidan Chappell-Smith (23) (South African)
$275 p/a deal and wil battle Crouz for the backup role.

After letting Stuart Lewis go on a free, we have $129k in budget to spend. That's huge money to go after an elite player, as we're pretty comfortable with the young players we have to grow into their potential.

Ah, shit. That's right. I need to reorganize the rest of my coaching staff. That'll come next time, after supper.

[Izulde]

Loan In - MC Chris Wood (17)
Raw, but should get some PT nonetheless. Here until the end of the season.

Transfer In - MC Chris Hargreaves (21)
$300 p/a deal, and his physical attributes are just ridiculous. Only two of them are below 11, and the lowest one is 9. Rated as our best central midfielder or close to it by our guys who actually know what the hell they're talking about. Could be a steal.

Transfer In - MC/DM Steve Jones (18) (Jamaican)
A white Jamaican kid who will battle Sean Longstaff for a starting spot in central midfield. Honestly, he's likely to win it, but because he's an improvement over what we have at backup DM, maybe he comes off the bench? Difficult to say right now. Grew up in Arsenal's system.

Boreham Wood is 14-1 favorites to win the Vanarama North this season. We're priced at 80-1 and pegged 19th, just avoiding the drop. Harry Burgoyne and Chekaine Steele make the Players To Watch page, which is pretty awesome.

Transfer In - DL Makhosini Khayne (24)
$15k signing, and his crossing is worlds above Calum Sturgess, so he's going to get starts ahead of him, even though he's an overall less talented player, because my system calls for my fullbacks to actually be able to make crosses.

We win 1, draw 1, and lose 2 of our friendlies, including against Notts County, our parent club. We really should have won 3 and lost 1, but I was lazy and had my assman pick lineups.

[Izulde]

We get $11.76k in North/South TV rights. I appoint Jamie Gray captain and Chekaine Steele vice-captain. Most people are happy, but Jamie, who was my K&H captain, is stressed about it. Seriously? Also, Marvel Ekpiteta and Mark Haines are pissed, because they felt they should get it. I let Ekpiteta go in response. Haines only survives because he was decent in friendly play.

@ Salisbury FC
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Makhosini Kayne/Marc Lake/Jon Moran/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Chris Wood
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

We have 2 games in 3 days, which is bullshit, but whatever. It's going to be a long season of trying to avoid the drop and waiting for our guys to develop.

31 - Keita has the ball stripped away in the corner, but on the ensuing cross, Whight blasts it the hell out of there and to Todorov. Another long ball follows, dropping in front of Gray, who dribbles forth. The opposing keeper comes out, and my Irish boy blasts the ball into the net!!! 1-0

39 - WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF SHITTY BACKPASS WAS THAT, WHIGHT?! AND WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU SO FUCKING SLOW, YOU MORON MORAN?! 1-1

Jones replaces Whight at the half.

54 - Our backline is putrid. Page in for Khayne. 1-2

68 - Keita throws in to Todorov, and with three defenders buzzing down on our Bulgarian, gets it back. The cross to Steele, and there's steel there in the score! 2-2

77 - Todorov wings it out to Keita, who first touches the long, high, rocket cross far post. Gray is there to spear in his second goal of the game!!! 3-2

They get a couple more cracks, including one nanoseconds before the whistle, which is home cooking bullshit, but whatever. We steal the opening victory!

8.3 for Souleymane Keita, 7.6 for Chris Wood, 7.9 for Nikolay Todorov, and my own personal favorite... 8.8 for Jamie Gray, who is PotM in his Chelmsford City Clarets debut.

The post-game press conference is absolutely abuzz with questions and talk about Jamie Gray. It's so beautiful to see and hear. All the moreso since he was never truly loved by the Keymer & Hassocks fans - never made Favored Player status.

We sell 340 season tickets - 4 less than last season.

vs Dover (21st)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Makhosini Kayne/Marc Lake/Mark Haines/Lewis Page
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Sean Longstaff/Steve Jones
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Piteu Crouz/Aidan Chappell-Smith

Two days later, our second game. Dover (Hi, NoSkillz!) got waxed 0-5 in their first match, so they're looking for revenge here.

Both teams have had opportunities, but neither has been able to convert. Keita for Page; McQuilkin for Jones at half.

And it's no soap for either side. Finishing was awful everywhere. Because we have an early second game, we're temporarily in 1st.

@ Sutton United (4th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Calum Sturgess/Marc Lake/Jon Moran/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Steve Jones/Chris Wood
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

We fall to 5th once everything normalizes - the last promotion playoff spot. Obviously I'm not expecting to be there by end of season, but it's nice to see us have the start we have.

3 - We still need to upgrade our central defense. 0-1

37 - Whiplash passes from Whight to Jones to Steele and then to Gray in the box, and even at this level, you just don't bet against my boy on 1v1. 1-1

40 - Three defenders stand in a fucking clump and allow the striker to beat us. 1-2

Page for Sturgess, who has played his last game for the Clarets, and Crouz for Todorov at half.

91 - Lake blasts it downfield for Gray, but the defense intercepts and heads it towards the goalie. Problem being it's a slow roller, and Crouz darts forward to smash in the ball for the dramatic late point saver! 2-2

We were pretty heavy underdogs, so this is something of a upset. That was also Crouz's first goal in 35 matches. Damn. Just damn. Hopefully he can find his spark with the Clarets.

Transfer In - DL Lee Williams (18)
Doesn't have the upside of most of the rest of our signings, but he's a now upgrade over the other stuff we have there. And now I can let Calum Sturgess go finally. He's already a 4* by my assman's reckoning anyway. We still have $108k in wage budget after the moves.

vs Northampton (19th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Jon Moran/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Steve Jones/Sean Longstaff
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

38 - We're having a hard time finding competent DCs anywhere. 0-1

Haines replaces Lake; Crouz swaps for Gray at half.

62 - Oh great. Whight gets a red.

70 - Longstaff gets the ball and passes to Jones. On to Todorov, and then the center to Steele. He feeds into the box where Crouz strikes home the 1v1! 1-1

74 - Surprised? Me neither. 1-2

82 - Todorov kicks lateral to Crouz, who sends it to Steele for the long-range strike!!! 2-2

Shoutout to Chekaine Steele for his 9.0 PotM performance. Whight, on the other hand, is benched for the foreseeable future.

Chekaine Steele makes the Team of the Week. Sweet.

Alan White, the lone youth player who was here when I arrived that I wanted to keep, gets called up to the Northern Ireland U21 team.

Transfer In - DC Francis Kale (23)
Finally a DC upgrade, he'll get the start over Jon Moran, as Marc Lake has been the better of the disappointing duo. Not a massive boost, but good enough and an actual player who is good for this division, unlike the two Regional Premier dudes we had. $15k, so we're still cool with our cap.

vs Maidenhead (16th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Francis Kale/Souleymane Keita
DM: Steve Jones
M: Carl Hargreaves/Sean Longstaff
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

25 - Longstaff twists his knee, but he has the ball a long time dribbling carefully on the right flank, the defense not pressuring him like they should. Short backpass to Keita and the moonshot cross lands to all alone Gray for the power strike. 1-0

26 - Of course. 1-1

38 - Fucking hell. 1-2

46 - Just before half ends, Jones picks up his second yellow. WHY THE FUCK DO OUR DEFENSIVE MIDFIELDERS KEEP DOING THAT SHIT?!

Wood in for Longstaff; Khayne for Williams at the break. The bitchass ref gave out a shit ton of yellows to us and none to the opponents. We're at home, fucker!

47 - 1-3

62 - Fuck our backline, and fuck our defensive midfielders. 1-4

64 - Gray scores. Too bad everyone else on this team is flaming pile of fly shit at the moment. 2-4

77 - Sure, let's give up another goal! 2-5

89 - Let's set a record why don't we? 2-6

I yell hard at the team, which features 3 players with a sub 6 and one with a sub 5. As you can guess, it's the fucking dipsticks on the backline. Our first loss of the season crashes us from 9th all the way to 14th. All that hard work we did? It means jack fucking shit because we're only 4 fucking points out of the drop.

Sean Longstaff is out 3-4 weeks.

Thanks to our shitwaffle defenders, that ignobly set a goals scored Chelmsford record.

[Brian Swartz]

That's more like it! You're always more fun to read when you're losing ...

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

That's more like it! You're always more fun to read when you're losing ...

May all your Kerbals die in space. :P

So because our two dumbass DMs got themselves suspended, we're going to run a 4-2-1-3 Narrow our next game.

Jamie Gray goes down for 4-5 weeks because, yeah, we don't have enough problems.

The first international report of my career: Alan White played 45 minutes in Northern Ireland's 0-2 loss to Slovakia, and recorded a 6.6.

@ Basingstoke (10th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Francis Kale/Souleymane Keita
M: Carl Hargreaves/Chris Woods
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Piteu Crouz/Aidan Chappell-Smith/Nikolay Todorov

34 - Crouz lays it forward to Chappell-Smith, who has four defenders around him. Escape act via box pass to unmarked Steele, and it's an easy score. 1-0

35 - And of course FOR THE FUCKING UMPTEENTH GAME IN A ROW, it's an immediate fucking answer. 1-1

Page for Keita and Khayne for Williams at the half.

48 - God, I hate our defenders. 1-2

59 - Just keep letting them in. 1-3

60 - 30 yard strike? Go right fucking ahead. 1-4

63 - Stupid PK? HERE YOU GO! 1-5

78 - Chappell-Smith continues the fine tradition of fucking meaningless goals. And it took his ass 3 different tries to get it. 2-5

My trash youth goes out on loan en masse. I work on changing my 4-4-2 Narrow Diamond into a more defensive formation to stop all these fucking leaks - Making it Defensive and the shape more Structured, with Stay On Feet.

@ Billericay (9th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Francis Kale/Souleymane Keita
DM: Steve Jones
M: Carl Hargreaves/Chris Wood
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Piteu Crouz/Nikolay Todorov

22 - Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?! CROUZ WAS ONSIDES, YOU FUCKING BLIND ASS REF!

56 - Khayne for Williams; Chappell-Smith replaces Todorov

We should have been able to win here, but I'll take the draw against a better team, and will definitely go with the much improved defense.

One of my favorite whipping boys, Marc Lake, even got in the Team of the Week for his performance back there.

Piteu Crouz will miss our next match with food poisoning. Joy.

My assman says Spencer Whight has really improved. All right, I'll give him another shot.

vs Boreham Wood (13th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Francis Kale/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Chris Wood
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Aidan Chappell-Smith/Nikolay Todorov

It's a very even division this year, with 14-1 favorites Boreham Wood struggling out of the gate.

Khayne replaces Williams at half, who looks to be in danger of losing his starting job.

57 - Todorov recovers a cleared corner and passes to Steele. Our shadow striker dribbles parallel to the box line, and fires the long range shot in! 1-0

DL continues to be a problem, no matter who we have in there, but the rest of the backline was 7.1 or better. Highlight players were Chekaine Steele, PotM with 8.3, and hat tip to Nikolay Todorov's 7.9. Finally we break through with another win.

vs Frickley (FA Cup Qualifying Second Round)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Francis Kale/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Sean Longstaff/Chris Wood
S: Piteu Crouz/Nikolay Todorov

Decided to try a three central mid attacking formation, given we're at home against a team we should be able to beat.

Moran replaces Kale and Page pops on for Williams at half, since both are sitting with yellows.

64 - Chappell-Smith slides in for injured Crouz. Yeah, strikers being healthy is never a thing for us.

We've got some lazy looking fuckers happy with the draw, so I inform them we should have won this game. And we should have.

Piteu Crouz is out 5-6 weeks.

Sheerwater pays for our youth scrub loanee's salary for the next 3 months. Thanks, guys.

Transfer In - MC Harry Pickering (22)
Our new biggest wage earner at $31.5k, but the dude is so clearly our best central midfielder, it's not even funny. A massive upgrade at the position, and one who should hopefully get that part of the pitch going.

@ Frickley (Replay)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Francis Kale/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Sean Longstaff/Harry Pickering
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

We were close to winning last time, so we'll run back out with it.

6 - The throw-in by Williams is to Gray, who kicks it back to Longstaff. Forward to Keita, who holds up play before centering to Pickering in a crowded box. The spear finds the light, and we have a debut goal! 1-0

32 - WTF Burgoyne?! You don't come out on that shit!!! 1-1

Moran replaces Lake at the half, and Todorov is dumped for Steele to come in his Shadow Striker role.

62 - Kale fucked us on that one. 1-2

Embarrassing.

[Izulde]

vs Eastborne Boro (21st)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Jon Moran/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Sean Longstaff
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Aidan Chappell-Smith/Nikolay Todorov

We're favored, but fuck that attacking formation for now.

36 - Whight passes the ball into the box for Steele. Three defenders around, so he lays off to Todorov, who scores for the first time in nine or ten matches. 1-0

54 - Jones for Longstaff; Page for Williams.

92 - We're awarded a PK, and Todorov converts! 2-0

Our first two goal win of the season. I realized before the game that my DCs were set to Limited Defenders, and I always have them at Central Defenders, so I changed that right quick. In response, 7.8 from Marc Lake and 7.1 from Jon Moran. Great all around play here, with special nods to Carl Hargreaves (8.1), Chekaine Steele (8.7), and PotM Nikolay Todorov (8.7).

Transfer In - DC Bradley Varga (24) (Hungarian)
A whopping $27.5k and now we're officially close to our budget line. But he's our best central defender, and has some quality all-around attributes. He'll replace Moran in the lineup, as Marc Lake is better.

Marc Lake, Chekaine Steele, and Nikolay Todorov all make the Team of the Week. This will probably be the highlight of our season.

@ Dartford (4th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Bradley Varga/Souleymane Keita
DM: Steve Jones
M: Carl Hargreaves/Sean Longstaff
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Aidan Chappell-Smith/Nikolay Todorov

32 - Keita on the right flank passes to Longstaff, who sends it to Hargreaves and on to Steele. Into the box where Chappell-Smith slams home what I think is his first goal for us. 1-0

42 - You just can't let us get an upset win, can you? 1-1

51 - Moran replaces Varga after our new signing lets that goal in on a free kick. Page subs in for Williams, who will sit his ass on the bench next game. 1-2

77 - Third hat trick coughed up so far this season. 1-3

78 - It's like we get to the second half and completely fucking forget to play. 1-4

6.7 for Alan White in Gibraltar's 0-2 loss to Northern Ireland. He played 45 minutes again.

I sure will be glad when these shitty youth players expire so I don't have to get spammed with loan requests for them.

There's props for Harry Burgoyne's development, and Chekaine Steele is drawing plaudits.

Alan White gets just 8 minutes in a 2-2 draw with Belarus, but posts his best rating yet for NIR with 7.0.

vs Bishop's Stortford (6th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lewis Page/Marc Lake/Bradley Varga/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Harry Pickering
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

16 - Whatever. 0-1

21 - Fuck you. 0-2

26 - This isn't fun anymore. 0-3

40 - Sure, throw in a fluke goal on top of it. 0-4

80 - Another hat trick given up. At this point, I have no idea what the fuck to do. I've tried bringing in better defenders, I've tried making our formation more defensive, and we're *still* bleeding goals.

I mean, I suppose I should consider it a good thing I've got us 14th, 5 points clear of the drop, but still. I can't figure out what the solution is. It's not like my defenders are god awful by ratings or the scouting of my very accurate guys, either.

I do love watching Chekaine Steele, though. He's amazing when he gets a chance to do stuff.

[Brian Swartz]

Originally Posted by Izulde

May all your Kerbals die in space. :P

Thanks for the cheer and goodwill, sir! In all honesty though, very well played. Perhaps it's just the sheer morbidity in me, but I can't help but laugh at stuff like this:

77 - Sure, let's give up another goal! 2-5

89 - Let's set a record why don't we? 2-6

I yell hard at the team, which features 3 players with a sub 6 and one with a sub 5. As you can guess, it's the fucking dipsticks on the backline.

whereas the 'yep, we've clinched promotion again' was getting a little old hat. Impressive, but still old hat.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Brian Swartz

Thanks for the cheer and goodwill, sir! In all honesty though, very well played. Perhaps it's just the sheer morbidity in me, but I can't help but laugh at stuff like this:

whereas the 'yep, we've clinched promotion again' was getting a little old hat. Impressive, but still old hat.

Fair point. I *was* starting to get a little weary of the monotony, just waiting to chase up the ladder until I could get to semipro.

Speaking of which: Keymer & Hassocks are tipped to finish 1st in Division Four, even absent Jamie Gray. They're doing exactly that - having won their first 5 league games of 12, holding a commanding 6 point lead. Still using the 4-5-1.

What of Woodley Town? Tabbed to finish 8th, they're in 1st after 10 games by 3 points, 6 points over 3rd. (26 league games total). The Kestrels are utilizing a flat 4-4-2.

So both of my former clubs are winners, whilst I'm toiling at trying to turn Chelmsford City around. It's the first job I've had where I've struggled to make an immediate impact. But considering we had almost wholesale roster turnover, and there's a steep learning curve with our new systems, it's something we simply have to ride out.

vs Lewes (6th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Jon Moran/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Harry Pickering
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

30 - Keita heads the ball stealing on an opposing goal kick to Todorov. The short pass to Steele preludes a long one to Gray, and keepers at this level still haven't learned you don't come out against the Irishman. 1-0

46 - And of course we let one in *right* before half. 1-1

51 - Hargreaves to Steele to Gray. This time on the run-out, the keeper comes much closer to getting there first, but still no good for him. 2-1

61 - Page on for Williams; Longstaff for Pickering

79 - Knock for Todorov, so Chappell-Smith gets the call.

85 - GOD FUCKING DAMN IT! ANOTHER FUCKING LATE GOAL GIVEN UP! 2-2

90 - ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!HNWLRHAASDOGOSERHTGIOSHGOPIERHSRVB 6GVYN589BY2GN89PVY QN9WER8PYWR89Q34N V FUCK UFKCDFJKLSEFHASDOFHOASDHGASIOYGAS89GHI9PASFY ASDFOUJDFOUYASGYOAS89FYFHUIOASEFYASD89FYAS9YTYW348TYWRFGSFG9PF6SDA9FPYAWE94YEP9-ERYAWO 2-3

NO FUCKING EXCUSE FOR THAT GOD DAMN FUCKING HORSESHIT````````````````````````````````````````````````+```+

I yell at Harry Burgoyne after the game. Dude has really been fucking up in net the last several contests, and he's the one who cost us in this one.

Spencer Whight's development gets praised by the assman. Chekaine Steele is named to Team of the Week for his 9.0 performance in our fuckup loss. Harry Pickering gets injured in training and is out for 4 weeks.

@ Eastleigh (2nd)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Marc Lake/Bradley Varga/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Sean Longstaff
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

6 - We weren't expected to win anyway. 0-1

9 - I'm this close to transfer-listing Burgoyne. Pathetic. 0-2

24 - Yeah. There's literally nothing I can do. 0-3

38 - In a long-running tradition, Gray scores a meaningless goal. 1-3

52 - Moran for Williams; Page for Keita

I get ripped for unwillingness to change my tactics, and we hold a team meeting to try and shore up flagging morale. It works - at least the morale part does.

Sean Longstaff got injured, and will miss at least our next game.

@ Hastings (1st)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Francis Kale/Bradley Varga/Souleymane Keita
M: Carl Hargreaves/Chris Wood
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Aidan Chappell-Smith/Nikolay Todorov

Just trying one of our other formations to see if we can get something, anything going.

2 - Hargraves sends it down to Steele. With two defenders on him, the layoff to Keita for the pass into the box. Offense whines about offsides as Chappell-Smith knocks it in. We've seen this movie before. 1-0

44 - Yep. Right on schedule. 1-1

Whight and Moran take over the DC spots at half.

47 - Chappell-Smith launches the ball down the field into space. Gray's first and dribbles into the box for a quite nifty score. Again, we've seen this story many a time. 2-1

57 - Told you. 2-2

66 - Own goal plot twist! 3-2

71 - I'm sure that fourth goal will be coming soon enough. 3-3

94 - Seconds before the whistle, Todorov is knocked out. Jones on with the narrow 4-4-2 Diamond.

I suppose I should be ecstatic about tying the top team in the league. But I'm pissed off. How many fucking games now have I been forced to see the "Chelmsford collapse" headline?! I'm going defensive, I'm making subs - WHAT THE FUCK ELSE CAN I DO?!

vs Reigate Priory (11th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Makhosini Khanye/Francis Kale/Bradley Varga/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Sean Longstaff/Aidan Chappell-Smith
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

Khayne whined about lack of PT, so to shut up, he's starting here. Not like he'll be any worse than what we've had.

15 - Yawn. 0-1

35 - I'm so getting fired. 0-2

I notice after reviewing reports that we have very slow defenders. After doing some searching around, I'm opting for Shorter Passes, Play Out of Defense, Slower Tempo, and Closing Down Less.

Alan White is lousy for Northern Ireland, but at least he keeps getting those callups.

@ Oxford City (20th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Bradley Varga/Jon Moran/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Harry Pickering
AM: Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

My assman really wants us attacking this game. I tell him to GTFO. That said, we really need to win this game in order to be sure we get out of the drop zone.

15 - Fucking boneheaded play by Whight. 0-1

Jones for White; Page for Keita at half.

52 - Burgoyne's retarded ass just stands there. 0-2

SSDD. Only now we're finally in the drop zone after our continual fuckups.

[Izulde]

@ Worcester Park (15th)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Francis Kale/Jon Moran/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Harry Pickering/Carl Hargreaves/Chekaine Steele
S: Jamie Gray/Nikolay Todorov

Went with my coaches' advice on formation and team instructions here. At this point, anything is worth a shot. I refuse to replace Jamie Gray in the lineup, however.

9 - Nothing works. 0-1

16 - I'm about ready to quit. 0-2

35 - FUCK THIS GAME! 0-3

39 - Gray scores meaningless goal. 1-3

80 - Double yellow for Pickering. Whatever. Suck a giant bag of jelly dicks.

Yet another team meeting. It works to raise morale slightly, but at this point, we're just a fucking hot mess.

Bradley Varga gets a hip injury that takes him out 5-6 months. Normally I'd be pissed, but fuck it.

@ Oxford City (FA Trophy Third Qualifying Round)
G: Harry Burgoyne
D: Lee Williams/Francis Kale/Marc Lake/Souleymane Keita
DM: Spencer Whight
M: Carl Hargreaves/Chekaine Steele
AM: David Fitzpatrick/Kyle King
S: Jamie Gray

More listening to coaches.

35 - At least we held them scoreless for most of the half. 0-1

38 - And the fucking stupidity starts anew. 0-2

59 - I'm resigning after this game. 0-3

Bye, Chelsmford City.

It was just too big a jump for me to make. Time for me to go back to the Amateur leagues and rebuild my damaged reputation.

[Izulde]

Rotherfield FC
Amateur
Mid Sussex Division One - 7th
Cash: $26,736
Stadium: 1,000
Owned By: Council
Corporate: Basic
Training: Poor
Youth: Basic/Basic
Junior: Basic

I love the red, green, and white in the logo - reminds me of my Mayael deck, which is red/white/green, and my favorite Commander deck. Plus horses and birds, so yeah.

Their assman was 2/3 JPA/JPP and their Youth Development head was 2/2. Scout was 6/4. My first moves are to get a 14/16 JPA/JPP Chief Scout and an 11/13 JPA/JPP assman.

The team's been wrecked by injuries and suspensions, so we have to play a couple of really terrible dudes our first game. The hunt is already under way to bring in new players based off the Chief Scout's initial report.

@ West Hoathly (3rd)
G: Freddie Sands
D: Luke Purdie*/Josh Crossley/Darren Green*
DM: Scott Reed (Yes, the former Keymer & Hassocks player)
M: Gareth Camper/David Doran/Martin Bourne/Kevin Lis*
AM: Max Musselwhite
S: Adam Bolle

Yeah, a 3-5-1-1 DM setup. There's been 11 games played, and there's 20 in the season, so we're a little over halfway through. It's also my 200th match.

32 - Reed has been doing work all game long in getting the ball back, and here he heads it to Musselwhite for the pass to Bolle. Dribble just into the box and *bam*! 1-0

47 - Welp. 1-1

52 - Yeah, kind of saw this. 1-2 Some guy named Rose replaces Doran. 1-2

72 - The team was set up to fail this game. We literally could not put together a roster that played in natural positions. 1-3

The great irony? We were playing against Maucaley Trotter's team, and the players praised his halftime talk for helping them to turn it around.

Beaten by my old Keymer & Hassocks assman. Now that's tough. He joined West Hoathley in June of 2019, and in his 2 and a half seasons in charge, he's led them to a 6th place finish in Division 2, a Division 2 title, and now in the middle of a double promotion fight here in Division 1. At his

Rotherfield, on the other hand, has been a team in a downward spiral. They started off in the Mid Sussex Premier Division, got demoted to the Mid Sussex Championship after 3 years, and demoted to their current level after another 2 years. They were 6th here last season, and will probably be worse this year, until I can sort things out.

vs Del United (Sussex Intermediate Cup Fourth Round)
G: Freddie Sands
D: Scott Reed/Josh Crossley/Darren Green
DM: Josh Johnson
M: Gareth Camper/David Doran/Vince Wills/Martin Bourne
AM: Max Musselwhite
S: Adam Bolle

This really should have been the lineup last game, with 3 DCs and Bourne at MR. Oh well, live and learn.

Josh Johnson drops to DC and Chris Rose comes in at DM. Emeka Ogbu comes in for Musselwhite, both at half. TBH, they should be kicking our butts right now, but they keep missing wide open shots.

70 - Rose tackles a striker from behind, and I'm scared of a PK, but no whistle, and Johnson blasts it all the way downfield to Bolle. Three defenders around him, but the 31 year old dribbles through to the half-circle and cracks the long shot in! 1-0

8.3 for PotM Adam Bolle, but give credit also to Josh Johnson for ramping up in the second half to 7.4 at DC after a lackluster half at DM. Not a pretty win, but one we'll take, all things considered.

Our staff is completely filled out shortly after this match, giving us 2* at least in each training category, and upgrading our physiotherapy from 6 to 11, and bringing a female physio to boot. Woot woot!

A nice two week break should hopefully give us time to get players back from injuries and start bringing in upgrades in talent.

Transfer In - ST Jason Bamford (20)
Yep, that guy. The one who started off hot for Woodley Town. He's quite a ways down the list for now, so i'll move him down to one of the lower teams to get more match experience (More on that in a second).

Transfer In - ML/AML/ST Glenn Walker (34)
Can also pinch hit at DL and MC if needed. 4.5* ML even as an old dude, and is so big a leap in talent at that position despite his age that he helps re-configure the talent levels. Really excited to land this guy, with whatever time he has left in his career.

Okay, so, in this setup, there's a number of teams that don't have the usual U21 and U18 setup - they have B and C teams. Remember the II and III, etc, you've been seeing with Keymer & Hassocks? Yep, those are those teams. And I believe some have even more than that.

Our B team (Rotherfield II) competes in Mid Sussex Division Eight, and our C team (Rotherfield III) competes in Mid Sussex Division Ten. Every now and again, you'll see the teams play in the same level - as I'm sure you've seen with my Keymer & Hassocks tenure. Sometimes even the senior team and a lower team, which always makes me laugh my ass off. It's like yeaaah.. not much difference in quality there! South Park and South Park Reserves I remember in particular with Woodley Town. Oh wait, so it's not just the lowest of the lowest levels.

Transfer In - DLR/MC Callum Richings (26)
I had him with Keymer & Hassocks Division Ten, where he played 6 games and wasn't that great. But he's developed a lot since then, and is now so good, he could literally play any of his three positions and be the top player there on the squad. We're weakest at DL, so that's where he'll suit up.

Transfer In - GK Ashley Maynard-Brewer (22) (Australian)
We go back to the international well. Tahj Boyd. Bojan Tetek. And now this guy, who is 4.5/5 and completely rewrites the talent evaluation on our roster. I'm stoked like his name was Stokke! I foresee him hopefully having a long career here.

Incidentally, what's the All-Time Best 11 look like appearances wise?

GK: 66
DL: 51
DC: 83/36
DR: 14
DM: 47
MC: 56/42
AML: 57
AMR: 73
ST: 43

Some of these guys are still with the club, so it's going to take a while before I can rewrite the All-Time team with my own players. BTW, one of the contract requirements I signed with Rotherfield was a promise that I not apply to other clubs. Believe me, I have no intention of that. I'm much happier building a team here in Amateur land so that when the time comes to move to Semi-Pro, I'll already have my squad and system running smoothly.

Transfer In - DCR Finn O'Mara (22) (Irish)
Slow player, but he'd be an improvement either at DC or DR. Because of his lack of speed, I'm going to stick him at DR for now. Although he's a 5* potential player, he'll be on a short hook because I'm usually not too fond of slow dudes. Guess I should have looked into that more.

Transfer In - DC/DM/MC Darren Stenson (20)
Versatile player who would be #1 at both DC and DM. Since the gap is biggest at DM, that's where I'll have him playing. Another high potential dude, albeit not as electric in current ability as some of the other guys.

Transfer In - ST Robbie Gulley (21) (Welsh)
Not a high impact player either currently or in potential, but he's a young kid who blows our old man scorer off the pitch and becomes the new starter in our 3-5-1-1 setup. Eventually I want to find someone who is genuinely elite, but he'll do for now.

vs Cuckfield Town (3rd)
G: Ashley Maynard-Brewer
D: Callum Richings/Josh Crossley/Finn O'Mara
DM: Darren Stenson
M: Glenn Walker/David Doran/Vince Wills/Martin Bourne
AM: Max Musselwhite
S: Robbie Gulley

All these signings have generated a real buzz about the team. Average home attendance for the season has been 61. But we're expecting to sell around 100 tickets for this match. Yeah boy!

21 - Blargh. 0-1

24 - Are you fucking kidding me?! 0-2

Our finishing and defense have both been ass.

54 - Richings takes a dude's head off and draws a PK. That's a hat trick. 0-3

Truth is, we played a lot better in the second half. But our offense continued to suck dick, and O'Mara's weakness in slowness was exposed. Rome wasn't built in a day, after all.

But Glenn Walker got hurt and is out 4 weeks, so more shopping time. Ugh.

Transfer In - DR/DC Kostas Solomou (19)
Also eligible for Cyprus citizenship. Faster on the DR and not far below Finn O'Mara in current ability on DR, he'll start there whilst we shift the Irishman over to DC by going back to my old, comfortable formation.

Transfer In - DLRC Ryan Cotton (22)
Best on the right side, but overall, he's a 3 position backup to sit on the bench and slot in when called upon. Basically I'm hoping he ends up being a young James Crane - three position reserve who eventually works his way in the starting lineup.

@ Brighton Boys Brigade Old Boys (7th)
G: Ashley Maynard-Brewer
D: Callum Richings/Josh Crossley/Finn O'Mara/Kostas Solomou
DM: Darren Stenson
M: David Doran/Vince Wills
AM: Gareth Camper/Martin Bourne
S: Robbie Gulley

3 - HE WAS OFFSIDES! 0-1

9 - Bourne's corner kick finds Stenson's feet to finally give one of our new guys his first goal for the club. 1-1

Cotton replaces the injured Solomou at half, and Bolle goes on for obnoxiously bad Gulley.

My talk is a mix of we can still win, and hey defenders and midfielders, stop fucking up out there.

52 - We're awarded a PK when Bolle is drilled in the box. They scream, and one of their players gets red-carded. BRILLIANT! Doran converts the PK! 2-1

67 - O'Mara continues to disappoint, allowing this goal. He's out next game. 2-2

76 - ARE YOU MOTHERFUCKING KIDDING ME?! 2 goals allowed on a fucking power play?! 2-3

Kostas Solomou is out 2 weeks to boot. Just fucking great.

Transfer In - ML/AML Ben Korosi (22)
He's chill, so chill he's a freaking ice cube. But the kid is our best AML and equal to our best ML. Sky-high potential to boot, so I'm going to be very excited to see how he does. Hopefully he'll pan out better than some other other n00bs so far.

Transfer In - DC/DM/MC Jordan Flint (21)
Kid looks like he belongs in a boy band. He's also a big-time upgrade at DM, which will allow us to move Darren Stenson down to DC, and ditch Finn O'Mara's slow, narrow, Irish ass, who I have these things for.

vs Ditchling (Sussex Intermediate Cup Fifth Round)
G: Ashley Maynard-Brewer
D: Chris Flynn/Josh Crossley/Darren Stenson/Ryan Cotton
DM: Jordan Flint
M: Ben Korosi/Callum Richings/Martin Bourne
AM: Sam Tuck
S: Robbie Gulley

4-1-3-1-1 DM. A word about Sam Tuck. He's one of the team's elite players, who has been shelved with injury for a long time. Now he's finally back, and hopefully the kid can help get our shit turned around.

I remembered now why Callum Richings stunk for Keymer & Hassocks. He isn't shit as DL, so we'll move him to his better position of MC.

10 - WILL YOU ASSFARMERS FUCKING CALLING OFFSIDES WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO?! 0-1

Johnson for Stenson; Rose for Richings at the break.

Lot better play in the second half. Heh, more hauntings from the past. Gareth Hawkins, who I cut from Woodley Town, to the ire of the fanbase, is on this team.

vs AFC Haywards (8th)
G: Ashley Maynard-Brewer
D: Chris Flynn/Josh Crossley/Darren Stenson/Kostas Solomou
M: Ben Korosi/Callum Richings/Jordan Flint/Martin Bourne
S: Adam Bolle/Robbie Gulley

I've noticed we're only Competent in the other formations, so with that and our bad run of form... fuck it, we're stripping everything back down to the basic flat 4-4-2. Last thing I need is to relegate in my first year here.

6 - Solomou fell asleep there. 0-1

48 - WHY TE FUCK DO MY FUCKING DEFENDERS KEEP FUCKING GETTING SHITTY RATINGS?! THIS SHIT NEVER FUCKING HAPPENED TO ME AT KEYMER & HASSOCKS OR WOODLEY TOWN AND NOW ALL OF A SUDDEN IT KEEPS FUCKING HAPPENING!!!!!!%$HJ34OTHWEROTGHERIOYHPTN TGU9P34PGTVTIK 34GI 3V5THILV TB5VT5OPVYNTB78945VN2CP 0-2

66 - Flynn intercepts a clearance and wings to Korosi. Pass into the box and Gulley finally fucking gets a god damned goal for this piece of shit team on his motherfucking birthday! Happy fucking first birthday and happy goal! Too bad we're still fucking losing. 1-2

78 - Lis in for Bolle

82 - There's a clearance, but Bourne charges like a fucking bull and first touch smashes that shit right to Gulley. Birthday luck continues as he gets a motherfucking second goal and we might actually get my first fucking league point at Rotherfield. 2-2

86 - Richings wings out to Flynn and two defenders decide to charge the shit out of our DL. He smirks and crosses it to the motherfucking birthday boy, and HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY, YOU MARVELOUS, SUDDENLY SCORING WELSH BASTARD! GULLEY WITH THE BIRTHDAY HAT TRICK!!!! CAN WE FINALLY GET A MOTHERFUCKING LEAGUE WIN?! 3-2

Chris Flynn manages a 7.2, Martin Bourne a 7.3. Ryan Cotton and Josh Johnson pull a 7.0 out of their ass off the bench as replacements for Crossley and Solomou at the half. I just forgot to mention that because I was so fucking pissed we went down 0-2 right before half and I was staring fucking sub-6.3's in the fucking face again.

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN TO ROBBIE GULLEY WITH HAT TRICK BIRTHDAY MAGIC! He turns 22, and snags a 9.4 with his hat trick.

We inch up to 8th, but everybody on the club is all butthurt over how shit we're doing in the standings, so they're all thinking of leaving in the summer.

Whatever. Let's get some motherfucking birthday cake to celebrate our fucking first victory of my Rotherfield tenure.

[Izulde]

The C team wins 11-10 in a PK shootout in the Tester Challenge Cup Quarterfinal. Fucking beautiful.

I didn't have birthday cake in my apartment, so I ate a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup. I have five games left to try and A) keep us from getting relegated, B) get us up to the midtable the board wants and C) keep from getting fired for the first time.

In previous jobs news...

Keymer & Hassocks: There's 21 games, because everyone plays each other 3 times. Through 12, K&H is 10-0-2 (That's 2 draws because I'm American, bitches). 32 points. #2 team has 18. You can pretty much gift wrap the title to them and a move up to Division Three. A lot of my players are still there. Still the 4-5-1. Lewis Haldane still the head man.

Woodley Town: Running a flat 4-4-2. A number of my dudes are still there. In 1st as well. Tight race, though - just a point ahead of 2nd, 3 ahead of 3rd.

Chelmsford: Still 20th, but just a point out of the drop zone.

Josh Crossley goes out for 4 weeks with injury. Adam Bolle is gone for a couple weeks as well.

Transfer In - ST Ronnie Sedlan (20)
Finally, a genuinely elite young striker I can build this team around. Let's see him get out there and do work.

@ United Services (4th)
G: Ashley Maynard-Brewer
D: Chris Flynn/Finn O'Mara/Darren Stenson/Kostas Solomou
M: Ben Korosi/Callum Richings/Jordan Flint/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan/Adam Bolle

Robbie Gulley is still recovering from the flu. Partied too hard on his birthday after we won the game thanks to his hat trick.

19 - O'Mara comes from purgatory to start a move with free kick that caps off in Richings with the long ball to Sedlan. Four defenders around him, so he lays off. Bolle backtracks to get it, and scores it home. 1-0

58 - Rose for Flint; Cotton for O'Mara

7.3s for Kostas Solomou and Adam Bolle, with a 7.4 for Callum Richings. PotM was somebody on the other team as we were very, very lucky to escape with a win here.

vs Romans United (10th)
G: Ashley Maynard-Brewer
D: Chris Flynn/Finn O'Mara/Darren Stenson/Kostas Solomou
M: Ben Korosi/Callum Richings/Jordan Flint/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan/Robbie Gulley

Win here, and we're not 100% locked down to stay up, but it's a long, long way towards it.

3 - Gulley saves a deflection on the goal kick and passes to Richings, who has to go back to get it. Short pass to Korosi, and he opts to wing it all the way across the pitch to Bourne. High cross to Sedlan who has everyone beat, and there's his first goal. 1-0

40 - Booming goal by our Orzie keeper, Maynard-Brewer, all the way down the pitch to Gulley. The Welshman gets it, traps it, and then shorts it to fake out the defense. Gets to the ball and whams it in! 2-0

45 - Fucking asswipe before half goals. 2-1

53 - Rose for Flint; Cotton for Flynn

76 - Shit fuck defending. 2-2

77 - FUCK YOU!!!! SEDLAN WAS ONSIDES YOU FUCKING GOATFUCKING PIECE OF HORSE SHIT REF! GET FUCKED UP THE ASS BY A DISEASE-RIDDEN DONKEY DICK!

80something - FUCK THAT! I throw my fucking mouse in fury at that fucking OHAILET'SGIVETHEAITHEFUCKINGGAMEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEHE!!!! Pardon me while I take way too fucking long to find my mouse. Fucking thing split in half. Found the cover plate, now to find the fucking body. 2-3

Fuck. I broke my mouse cover. It won't attach properly.

[Izulde]

81 - Rose passes back to O'Mara for the bomb finding Sedlam. Some great shake and bake moves, and the shot goes in! 3-3

85 - WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU JUST STANDING THERE LOOKING AT THE GOD DAMNED FUCKING BALL ON THAT SHITTY BACKPASS?! MATCH ENGINE BUG! MATCH ENGINE BUG! THE OPPONENT FUCKING RUNS LIKE HE HAS ON ROCKETS ON HIS GOD DAMNED FUCKING FEET GOING 5X FASTER THAN MY FUCKING STUPID DEFENDER 3-4

Darren Stenson and Ryan Cotton come crying, all butthurt because I yelled at them for their fuckups. I tell them I'll modify the way I talk to them, even though I want to fucking beat their underachieving heads in with a giant fucking soccer shoe.

Youth Intake
A treasure trove of guys with 4* potential, so I end up signing 7 guys. That's how lucky we got in the youth pull lottery this season. They'll all start off on the C team until they're ready to move up to the B squad.

@ Buxted II (7th)
G: Ashley Maynard-Brewer
D: Chris Flynn/Finn O'Mara/Darren Stenson/Kostas Solomou
DM: Jordan Flint
M: Callum Richings/Vince Wills
AM: Ben Korosi/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

If we win here, we have a good shot at hopefully securing staying up.

53 - Gulley for Sedlan; Johnson for Flint

We had numerous chances to win today, but all our shots misfired, particularly Martin Bourne, who rightfully finished with a 6.1.

Tweaks made to the tactical setup to better fit our roster and the play style I look for. Furnace Green Rovers officially incinerates, and will take one of the two relegation spots.

We skip the transfer day. I'm tired of shopping, and we need to work on getting our guys to gel for the last two games of the season.

2 games left. We're in 9th place, 4 points ahead of the drop. There's a cushion, albeit a very small one.

vs Ridgewood (5th)
G: Ashley Maynard-Brewer
D: Chris Flynn/Finn O'Mara/Darren Stenson/Kostas Solomou
M: Ben Korosi/Callum Richings/Vince Wills/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan/Robbie Gulley

I deliberately downplay this match. Sure if we win we go up , but this is still a team finding itself. No need to add pressure.

17 - Stenson draws a PK, but Maynard-Brewer is heroic in making the stop!!!

38 - Cotton subs in early for O'Mara, who is done as a starter. I've given him chance after chance after chance.

63 - Flint hops on for Richings

Unfortunately, Romans United won, so we go into the last game needing to at least draw to guarantee going up, as I don't see them winning by 4 goals.

@ Furnace Green Rovers (11th)
G: Ashley Maynard-Brewer
D: Chris Flynn/Ryan Cotton/Darren Stenson/Kostas Solomou
M: Ben Korosi/Callum Richings/Jordan Flint/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan/Robbie Gulley

Again, I play it low key. Oh, BTW, I cut every single one of our B and C team scrubs, the most notable of which is Jason Bamford. By the time the dust settles, Martin Bourne is the new captain; Vince Wills the Vice-Captain.

44 - Flint comes in for awful Cotton.

Everyone's nervous as hell at half, so I get them to relax and chill out.

48 - Korosi has to bail out Stenson's shitty pass, and he booms it downtown to Sedlan on the left flank. The ensuing cross results in an aerial fight that Gulley wins. 1-0

53 - Good thing Romans United is down 0-1, because Stenson screws the pooch here and allows the draw. O'Mara instantly replaces him. 1-1

86 - Unfucking believable. If Romans United wasn't getting destroyed 0-4 right now, I'd be throwing my chair. 1-2

Meanwhile, Maucaley Trotter locked up the title, which is leading some people to say the Keymer & Hassocks successes were due to him, not me.

Heading into next season...

We've got a lot of high potential players at the club, but in terms of current ability, we have the following areas at 3* or higher - GK, DM, and 1 ST, all at 4*, and a 3* AMC who never impressed me.

So we have a lot of work to do in terms of upgrading the overall talent on the roster.

[Izulde]

Josh Johnson and Kostas Solomou were the top yearly season trainers. We'll probably in another relegation fight next season, unless we bring in some great players.

Chelmsford City completely collapsed down the stretch, the Clarets finish solidly in the drop at 20th. Keymer and Hassocks doubled everyone else en route to the Division Four title. They're catching up. Woodley Town broke through this season, finishing 2nd and getting an auto promotion slot.

We ink a couple pre-contract signings I'll discuss later.

Transfer In - DL Tom Roberts (21)
Big jump up in talent at the position - rated 3.5/4. Fast, with great acceleration. Needs work on the mental aspects of the game to reach his potential.

Transfer In - GK Scott Mantraga (20)
Strong reflexes and handling. Will be in a battle with our Australian keeper for the #1 spot. Mantraga is probably slightly better now, but Ashley Maynard-Brewer has higher upside.

Transfer In - DRC Chris Jones (29)
Solid athleticism and will be a starter on the backline. Probably at DC. He's strongest at DR, but I want to see Kostas Solomou develop there instead, and I've bitched enough about our DCs.

Although our reputation falls, we're still ahead of Keymer & Hassocks and Woodley Town, the latter of whom leapfrogged K&H by virtue of their promotion. Chelmsford City dropped from 1* rep to a half-star rep as a result of their demotion. Ouch. Sorry, guys!

Transfer In - DM/MLC Viv Davies (22) (Welsh)
Perfect for a ball-winning CM defensive role and instant starter.

Transfer In - MC Simon Rowley (21)
An attacking Advanced Playmaker may be just what we need to fix the malaise of our offense, as we've sucked awfully in friendly season.

Transfer In - DM/MC Fernando Bell-Toxtle (23)
Will be the first backup at both slots.

Transfer In - GK Emmanuel Diallo (21) (Ghanian)
Found this kid at English Trial Day, and he firmly ends the dispute over who should be the starting keeper by being better than both.

I radically change our setup after these signings and lackluster friendlies, changing to a defensive 4-4-2 Narrow Diamond with slower pace, playing out of defense, etc. We drop to Awkward.

We're also 1-5 favorites to win the league. Lovely. Still, we get a 0-0 draw in Friendly #3, and it's the first time in a long time our defense hasn't played like ass.

That was a fluke, though, as it sucks yet AGAIN the final friendly. God, I fucking hate this game. I don't know how I kept succeeding at K&H, and now I suddenly can't do shit.

Emmanual Diallo and Jordan Flint are named Captain and Vice-Captain for the year. Michael Bourne is initially unhappy, but after talking to him about it, he's okay. The rest of the team isn't. Fuck off.

The board will be satisfied with a mid-table finish and either Finals or Semi-finals appearances in various Cups. Thanks for the break, guys.

@ Forest Row
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Luke Purdie/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Jordan Flint
M: Viv Davies/Simon Rowley
AM: Ben Korosi/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

I let my coaches pick the instructions and starting lineup while our defensive 4-4-2 continues work.

25 - Davies strips the ball away deep in our half, and rainbows it to Korosi. Dribble down the left flank, and far post cross to a wide open Bourne, who shows off unlikely finishing in knocking it home! 1-0

58 - Stenson subs in for Purdie; Bolle for Sedlan, and Bell-Toxtle for Davies. Yeah, I'm living on the edge.

87 - Surprised we allowed a late goal? Me neither. 1-1

vs Ambassadors (Sussex Intermediate Cup First Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Jordan Flint/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Fernando Bell-Toxtle/Simon Rowley
AM: Ben Korosi/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

25 - Bell-Toxtle shows he was worth his start by launching a ball downfield into space for Seldan to latch on to, run into the box, and score one with ease! 1-0

38 - Oh look. Fucked up defending. 1-1

42 - [b]Richings allows a PK. Our godly Ghanian keeper saves it. Roberts is pulled for Flynn

56 - Stenson for Jones and I decide to go with a weirdly symmetrical setup, where Korosi's moved to striker and replaced by Gulley

78 - FUCK YOU, FAGGOT ZEBRA!!!! GULLEY WAS ONSIDES!!!!

Extra time is an assbag of fuckery. The ref jips us out of a PK, bullshit throws Flint out of the game, and oh yeah, Gulley is hurt.

Diallo blocks 1 of the 5 PKs, but then Davies fucks it. On kick 6, we both make, including Diallo. Finally, kick 7, they miss, and Flynn converts to have us advance.

Never should have fucking come to that. 7.6 for Viv Davies despite the missed PK, 7.3 for Emmanuel Diallo, which is low IMO. 9.0 and PotM for Fernando Bell-Toxtle, and off the bench, 7.2 for man of the hour Chris Flynn.

I kind of like having my coaches do the tactics and set the lineups, I think. Allows me to concentrate on scouting, requirement, and deciding when to make substitutions. Obviously I can't do jack shit tactically since leaving K&H.

[Izulde]

vs Crawley Athletic (Mowatt Challenge Cup First Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Fernando Bell-Toxtle
M: Sam Tuck/Simon Rowley
AM: Ben Korosi/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

2 - Four guys are closing in on Korosi, so he takes the safety route left to Roberts. The cross intended for Sedlan ends up a fluke goal! 1-0

16 - Pretty weak that we have an elite goalie, and still keep letting goals in. 1-1

22 - Bell-Toxtle passes to Sedlan, who backtracks a pass to Tuck. Defense starts drawing there, and the pass is fed right back to Sedlan, who scores on the 1v1. 2-1

Solomou replaces Richings at halftime.

49 - Rowley centers to Tuck, who gives it to Bourne in the box. Keeper and defense move his way, and he lays off to Sedlan for the open net scorcher! 3-1

70 - Just as I'm about to make a sub, Sedlan is forced out of the game with injury, and Bolle steps in.

79 - Mini-triangulation here as Tuck to Rowley and then the short pass back to Bell-Toxtle. The high ball drops in front of Bolle, who blasts the ball into the net. 4-1

Impressive win, with all full-time starters except Diallo grabbing a 7.1 or higher. 7.6 for Tom Roberts, 8.5 for Fernando Bell-Toxtle, 8.2 for Simon Rowley, 8.4 for Sam Tuck, 7.9 for Ben Korosi, 8.8 for PotM Ronnie Sedlan, and 7.2 off the bench by Adam Bolle.

We've run the same setup the last few games. So what has our coaching staff been having me do?

4-1-2-3 DM Wide with Control, Slightly Higher line, Fairly Narrow Width,Stay on Feet, Go Route One, and Look for Overlaps - stuff I never would have picked myself outside of the formation, the narrow width, and stay on feet (maybe the overlaps, too). But it's working, so we're rolling with it.

On the other hand, I'm the one who sets the roles for each position, so I deserve credit for that at least, in addition to getting the guys we have.

Ronnie Sedlan is out 7-8 weeks. That really, really hurts. Huge dropoff from him to our next striker.

vs Sporting Elite (1st)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Jordan Flint/Chris Jones
DM: Viv Davies
M: Fernando Bell-Toxtle/Simon Rowley
AM: Glenn Walker/Emeka Ogbu
S: Adam Bolle

Both our top strikers are out with injury, so we have to start our third stringer, who was the top guy last year. I overrule some of my staff's subs decisions, but allow them to start players who are way more tired than I would normally let on. That said, they want me to start Ben Korosi and Martin Bourne, who are both super tired, so I veto that in favor of Walker and Ogbu. The youth pull I want to start instead of Ogbu is of course injured, and the other guy is too old, slow, and low stamina for me to consider.

Tuck swaps in for Bell-Toxtle at half, Flint moves up to DM, and Cotton fills in at DC. Their keeper has been playing out of his mind in the nets.

We were just incredibly unlucky to run into a hot goalkeeper who posted an 8.0 in a match engine where goalies rarely get that kind of ratings at the lowest levels.

I move Ashley Maynard-Brewer down to the B squad so he can start getting some actual match experience. Does our highest upside keeper no good to just rot on the bench.

vs Fletching (10th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Luke Purdie/Chris Jones
DM:Jordan Flint
M: Fernando Bell-Toxtle/Simon Rowley
AM: Glenn Walker/Emeka Ogbu
S: Kevin Lis

For some reason my coaches wanted Bell-Toxtle and Rowley playing opposite roles than what they've been doing together in the midfield. That's stupid to me, so I switch them back. I also start Ogbu again over Bourne for fitness reasons.

32 - Ugh. 0-1

At half, it's Tuck for Bell-Toxtle, Stenson slides up to DM, Jones shifts to DC, and Richings is in at DR. I also yell at the guys because they're playing like shit.

51 - Tuck sprays it out to Lis, who for some reason is way on the left flank. Pass to Walker, and he crosses to Ogbu, where I get a measure of vindication as he heads in his first goal of the year. 1-1

78 - Rowley with the long, long free kick into the box. It finds Walker, and the goal's scored! 2-1

It's the kind of match where Glenn Walker's 7.5 is good enough for PotM, but shoutout to Sam Tuck for his 7.0 off the bench. Yelling at halftime actually worked for once, as we really picked up our play in the second 45 to storm back and finally get our first league win.

I feel like I've reached a happy medium here finally, and hopefully I'll go on to more success with Rotherfield. ....Unless a semipro team with a name and logo I like comes calling...

...But on the other hand, I feel like I'm stupid because I'm relying on my coaches to come up with the baseline strategy and instructions, and let them pick the starting lineup before making any modifications - usually only adjusting for fitness reasons. Does that make me a shitty FM player? Or am I all good?

I suppose the question is what's haunting me since leaving Keymer & Hassocks - is it the moves I've made, or is it my staff?

[law90026]

Personally I've never been amazing at coming up with my own strategies for FM. I prefer to find a tactic on the SI forums and just plug-and-play and let my role be about finding the right players to fit the system and managing morale.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by law90026

Personally I've never been amazing at coming up with my own strategies for FM. I prefer to find a tactic on the SI forums and just plug-and-play and let my role be about finding the right players to fit the system and managing morale.

Yeah, I used to that too, with usually poor results as detailed in previous dynasties. I love the player hunting, and I'm pretty good at managing morale.

Heh. So I'm listed as the favorite for the Northampton Town job, a professional team that finds itself mired in the Southern Premier. No interest in that - part of what I want to do is make a team turn professional, not already be there.

Besides which, the promise I made to Rotherfield was that I wouldn't apply to other jobs, and frankly, they would have been justified in firing me for failing to reach midtable last season, instead of barely fending off relegation. The fact they showed patience with me by letting me stick around has earned them a considerable measure of goodwill.

@ Smallfield (1st)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Jordan Flint/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Fernando Bell-Toxtle
M: Viv Davies/Simon Rowley
AM: Nikki Betteridge/Keith Harrison
S: Robbie Gulley

I know it's early in the year, but heavy draws on the top shelf at the moment teams. I call up our two youth pulls to start at the AM slots due to tiredness of the rest of our guys there, and I slot Gulley in over Lis for similar reasons. I missed seeing Viv Davies so low, or I would have changed that, too.

Tuck for Davies and Stenson for Jones at the half after a nothing 45 minutes.

We played poorly, and I calmly let the boys know that shit won't fly. Callum Richings has earned himself permanent banishment from DR, no matter how much the coaching staff wants to recommend he be there.

vs United Services (7th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Jordan Flint/Kostas Solomou
DM: Viv Davies
M: Fernando Bell-Toxtle/Simon Rowley
AM: Ben Korosi/Martin Bourne
S: Adam Bolle

My one coach thinks Chris Jones should be dropped, but then he's added in. Nah, I'm giving my boy Kostas Solomou some burn. Also GTFO out of here with Kevin Lis as striker. Adam Bolle gets the nod. Some sub shuffles as well. I also have started role training for those guys who seem to have consistent, set patterns in our system.

37 - Hey, thanks for the own goal present! 1-0

[b]37[//b] - This is my shocked face at the immediate answer. 1-1

Cotton on for the fucking stupid Roberts at the half. You can't play a 6.1 and expect to on.

49 - Flint own goals. I immediately shift Cotton and Stenson over one, and put Walker in at DL. 1-2

No two ways about it - we were fucking awful that game.

vs CCKB (Sussex Intermediate Cup Second Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Kostas Solomou
DM: Viv Davies
M: Fernando Bell-Toxtle/Simon Rowley
AM: Ben Korosi/Martin Bourne
S: Kevin Lis

No, AI. Callum Richings is not starting at DR! Normal line today - the coaches tell me to take off the higher up, which I'm happy to do.

10 - Davies floats down to Rowley and the pass to Lis. Hold up of play until Bourne can get into position, and he fires it in off the feed. 1-0

13 - Lot of bad passes on both sides, but finally Bourne has it on their wing and jacks it back to Davies. The pass to Rowley and on to Bell-Toxtle, who decides rather than pass it, takes it into the box himself for his first ever score with us! 2-0

15 - Throw-in by Roberts to Bell-Toxtle and gets it back. Pass back to Korosi, who feeds it to Bell-Toxtle on the left side of the box. B-T dances with two defenders a while and then centers to Rowley for *his* first Rotherfield goal! 3-0

Guys are looking lazy, so I tell them not to sag off. It appears they've responded, but we'll see.

Everyone with 7 except Diallo's 6.7 and Lis's 6.8. Absolute masterwork by Simon Rowley and Fernando Bell-Toxtle in the central midfield, each notching 9.0 with Rowley PotM. 7.7 for Darren Stenson, 7.6 for Chris Jones, and 8.6 for Martin Bourne.

It's funny... I expected Fernando Bell-Toxtle to be the backup, but he's impressed my staff and done very well as a starter, no matter what role he's played. Simon Rowley was brought in to be an Advanced Playmaker, but he's taken on a Deep-lying Playmaker after I studied our 4-1-2-3 DM Wide setup and his role suitability, and he's done perfectly fine there.

vs Ridgewood (8th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Kostas Solomou
DM: Viv Davies
M: Fernando Bell-Toxtle/Simon Rowley
AM: Ben Korosi/Martin Bourne
S: Kevin Lis

Just assume until further notice that I've told my assistants to get fucked with Callum Richings, and have replaced him with Kostas Solomou. My staff also tells me to drop Fernando Bell-Toxtle and Viv Davies for better players, yet then insert them in the lineup. Make up your minds, guys!

2 - Stenson, who has been impressing me at DC, makes a great header interception and nods it on to Rowley. Long pass to Lis in the box, and the kid finally scores his first goal of the season. Still hate him, however. 1-0

Flint in for Davies at half.

71 - Flint to DC, replacing Jones. Bell-Toxtle to DM, and Tuck in at MC.

88 - Bullshit PK. 1-1

91 - ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?! 1-2

@ Buxted II (7th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Finn O'Mara
DM: Viv Davies
M: Fernando Bell-Toxtle/Simon Rowley
AM: Ben Korosi/Martin Bourne
S: Kevin Lis

My coaches say to drop Kostas Solomou for either Richings or O'Mara, and I have to agree.

34 - Ugh. 0-1

Cotton in for Roberts; Bell-Toxtle to DM and Tuck at MC at half.

49 - Rowley longballs it to Lis on the left flank, and he centers to Korosi, who dribbles, shoots, and gets help from the keeper's piss-poor handling to snag his first goal for us. 1-1

80 - 1-2

90 - Beautiful sliding tackle by Bourne to get the ball back after a clearance, and he feeds Lis to salvage a draw. 2-2

This team is way too talented to be playing with this level of fuckery. So.damned.aggravating. I just hope it all gels together later in the season.

[Izulde]

@ Brighton Boys Brigade Old Boys (3rd)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Fernando Bell-Toxtle/Simon Rowley
AM: Ben Korosi/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

29 - They're jamming us up defensively, so we have to pass all around the central midfield until Rowley passes forth to Sedlan for the kickback to Bell-Toxtle. Seam pass finds the hole in the defense, and Sedlan slams it home. It's so good to have an actual decent striker again. 1-0

38 - Korosi is knocked out, so Bourne moves to AMC as a shadow striker, and Tuck comes in as an AMC advanced playmaker - thereby creating a narrow edition of our 4-1-2-3 DM formation.

64 - Fucking pathetic pass by Stenson lets them tie it up. Another fucking draw?! He's tossed for Flint 1-1

73 - What a fucking stupid bit of free kick defending. 1-2

77 - Bourne to Tuck, who crosses to Bell-Toxtle. 25 yard shot with two defenders preparing to vice squeeze your ass? No problem. 2-2

Poor game by our defense again. I also yell at Emmanuel Diallo, because he really slagged it back there.

Bad news gets worse. Ben Korosi is out 10-12 months with damaged ligaments. That's the most severe injury I can ever recall seeing in FM. Well, fuck. Now what? We'll install the narrow version for now, while we try and hunt for a backup... unless we want to call up our youth pull again. Oh wait, we still have a player we can fit in there. Duh.

@ Keymer & Hassocks (Mowatt Challenge Cup Second Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Fernando Bell-Toxtle
M: Viv Davies/Simon Rowley
AM: Glenn Walker/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

So here I am, back where it all began. By this time, most of the players I knew have moved elsewhere. But there's Carl Gill and James Crane in the lineup on the backline, and Jack Walder in the middle of their crazy 4-5-1. And in the net, as he has been since Bojan Tetek left? Nathan Dennis, who stayed loyal to the team all those years, the longest-serving K&H player ever in this universe.

Bell-Toxtle slides up to replace Davies at the half, with Flint the new DM. We had a couple cracks at Dennis in the first half, but nothing doing so far.

53 - 0-1

90 - I never should have left this team. 0-2

I stand there alone in the park, long after the game's over. Would we have continued our dominance if I'd stayed? Or was I merely the guy to get them to the point I did, the rest left to Lewis Haldane? They're tied on points with 9 at the top of Division Three, but have won all 3 of their games, and have two games in hand on the second place team.

Why haven't I been able to recapture the magic I had with that squad? Why can't I even replicate the minor successes I had with Woodley Town? Why why why?

[Izulde]

vs Ovingdean (Mid Sussex Senior Cup Second Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Chris Flynn/Darren Stenson/Luke Purdie/Chris Jones
DM: Fernando Bell-Toxtle
M: Viv Davies/Simon Rowley
AM: Gareth Camper/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

32 - Whole lot of ping-pong possession, with Stenson standing out. End sequence is Rowley winging to Bourne, who counter-crosses after fighting off a challenge. Camper is there to nail it. 1-0

Instead of being nice like I have been, I tell them not to get complacent.

53 - Tuck replaces Davies, Stenson moves up to DM, Jones shifts to DC, and Richings comes on.

74 - Great header by Richings up to Jones, who blasts it to Tuck on to Rowley. Then a pass to Sedlan, and a box feed to Bourne results in a birthday goal, something we seem to specialize in. 2-0

7.5 for Simon Rowley and 8.9 for PotM Martin Bourne. Nice to finally get a damned win.

vs AFC Haywards (3rd)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Chris Flynn/Luke Purdie/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Fernando Bell-Toxtle
M: Viv Davies/Simon Rowley
AM: Glenn Walker/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

We're running out of time to make our move in the division.

59 - I switch to the narrow version of our setup, and Tuck replaces Walker. Bell-Toxtle to MC instead of Davies, and Stenson slides in as the DM.

60 - Good thing I took a Norco, because I just roll my eyes. 0-1

65 - Fluke goal. Another loss or draw coming. 1-1

Yep.

I do some more research and decide to radically adjust my roles. FBs are taken off Auto, and I sprinkle some more attacking roles throughout the lineup, as we've been quite short on being able to actually create chances and goals.

vs Rogate (Sussex Intermediate Cup Third Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Fernando Bell-Toxtle
M: Viv Davies/Simon Rowley
AM: Gareth Camper/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

6 - Richings throws in to Sedlan on the left flank, who passes to Bourne. Center to Davies, and that's his first ever goal for us! We're expected to be slaughtered by 4-5 goals, BTW. 1-0

55 - Flint for Stenson

60 - Flint strips the ball away that ends in an exchange of passes between Richings and Rowley, the former crossing to Sedlan, playing in the uncomfortable role of a False 9, for the score. 2-0

68 - Flynn in for Roberts

9.0 for PotM Callum Richings, who was everywhere playing in a support role at DR. Viv Davies racks up an 8.3 as a newly Attacking central midfielder, 7.9 for Martin Bourne as an Attacking AMR. Beautiful, just beautiful.

Have I finally unlocked the puzzle?

@ Smallfield (Mid Sussex Senior Cup Third Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Glenn Walker/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

18 - Deep in our half, Roberts throws into Rowley for the short pass to Walker. Boomer down the field and Sedlan has everyone beat. The long dribble to the box, and the scorcher is in! 1-0

Flint replaces tired Davies at half.

51 - Flint to DC to swap out sucky Stenson, Bell-Toxtle to DM, Tuck in at CM, and midfielder switch.

I fucked up an accidentally took out Jones, but it worked out okay as we got the win. 7.6 for Tom Roberts and 8.4 for PotM Glenn Walker, as we escaped with one there.

Ronnie Sedlan's 7th goal of the year broke Rotherfield's goal-scoring record, which shows how pitiful they've been.

Transfer Out - Sam Tuck
A vital reserve, but I'm not sorry to see him go, really. He wasn't one of my guys anyway, though it's his first new team.

vs Forest Row (11th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Jordan Flint/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Glenn Walker/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

If we can't beat these guys, who are the worst team in the league by far, something is seriously wrong.

34 - We're facing intense pressure on our buildup, until Davies sprays the safety valve left to an open Roberts on the left wing. Long cross to Sedlan and it's a secure score. 1-0

49 - If Forest Row wasn't lacking in confidence, we would actually be down 0-2. Our central defender are both playing like ass, and I make a mental note not to have Flint play there if I can help it. He does poorly. Anyway, on a corner we get a PK, and Bell-Toxtle blasts it in. 2-0

56 - Flint's free kick fuckup has me fuming. Purdie in for him. BTW, I really need to cut Purdie. My staff loves him, but he'll never accomplish anything. 2-1

59 - *Now* Flint is off. I keep misreading the screen. Anyway, Stenson on.

We really didn't play that well. Only PotM Fernando Bell-Toxtle with his 7.8 stood out.

Still, it's finally a league win, and halfway through the season, we're in 8th place with 12 points. Just one point off the drop. On the other hand, 6 points from the top two spots, which lets you know just how congested Division One has been this year.

[Izulde]

Luke Purdie is released, along with a ton of other players as I cut the chaff. Robbie Gulley signs with another team, just when I cut Kevin Lis, too.

Transfer Out - Glenn Walker - $4.5k
Welp, I cut Gareth Camper, too, so suddenly we may find ourselves needing to look at a new formation.

Transfer In - ST Sorin Dunlap (21) (Romanian)
Needs a lot of work as he's quite raw, but my staff likes to loves his potential, and we need fresh blood to work on developing after all the other cuts we made.

Vince Wills also leaves to another team.

@ Fletching (10th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Jordan Flint
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Andrew Taylor/Martin Bourne
S: Ronnie Sedlan

3 - Stenson kicks it to Roberts for the feedback into the box. It takes Sedlan a bit to juggle and control the forceful pass, but when he does, his shot sings home. 1-0

66 - Rowley with the kick out to Richings right wing. The cross bounces into the six-yard box, and Bell-Toxtle is just quick enough on the draw to put it away. O'Mara subs in for Stenson. 2-0

8.0 and PotM for Callum Richings, who shows that role matters. In fact all of our backline starters netted a 7.2 or higher. 7.8 for Simon Rowley and 8.0 for Fernando Bell-Toxtle.

We've climbed up to 7th now. But the real test will be when we play against teams higher up, like next game.

Transfer In - ST Shaun Humphreys (22)
To give some challenge to our backup Romanian striker. Not as high an upside, but worth having. Maybe.

Transfer Out - MR/AMR Martin Bourne
Shocking steal away, and we're really crippled now in our formation.

vs Cuckfield Town (4th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Andrew Taylor/Keith Harrison
S: Ronnie Sedlan

It's Harrison the youth pull who finds himself inserted in the lineup.

26 - Three defenders on Sedlan and he's about to lose the ball when he quick kicks out to Harrison, and the kid hits a long cross to Rowley for the walk-in goal! 1-0

34 - Beautiful possession saves by Bell-Toxtle again and again, but the finisher here is Sedlan with two defenders in front of him long lateraling to Richings for the return cross that has Rowley smashing his second goal in. 2-0

38 - Shit. Harrison knocked, but he'll have to play on.

48 - That PK was bullshit. An immediate yellow after it, too? Bye, Stenson. In goes O'Mara. 2-1

64 - Humphreys on for Sedlan.

72 - Great recovery on a clearance by Roberts for the pass to Bell-Toxtle. Spray out to Richings on the right wing, and the long far post cross connects with Humphreys for the debut goal!!!! 3-1

77 - Richings with the interception, trap, and control to start a move that includes Bell-Toxtle blasting it out to Richings, who has run all the way down the right flank. Cross to Thomas results in a short lateral to Harrison, but the shot clangs off the top of the bar with help from the keeper. No problem, as Humphreys is there to put away his second goal! 4-1

81 - Can't do much with those long-range scorchers. 4-2

87 - They should have scored here on the corner, and we're damned lucky they didn't.

7.6 for Callum Richings, who continues to amaze as a DR with Support duty. 7.5 for Fernando Bell-Toxtle, 8.3 for Keith Harrison, and 8.6 for supersub Shaun Humphreys. But it was Simon Rowley's 9.1 that really stood out this game. The rightful PotM, he ran the game to perfection.

The victory jumps us up to 3rd, but that's only temporary, as the team we're tied with on points has a game in hand, and teams who are 3 and 5 points back respectively have *2* games in hand.

Keith Harrison can play with a gashed head via protective equipment, and we simply don't have a choice but to pay the $750. We need him out there.

vs Barcombe (Sussex Intermediate Cup Fourth Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Green/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Andrew Taylor/Keith Harrison
S: Ronnie Sedlan

We've had some shoddy performances from Darren Stenson lately, so Green gets the nod, because Finn O"Mara has disappointed, too.

33 - Terrible backpass by the defense, and Sedlan takes advantage to beat the keeper on the 1 v 1. 1-0

52 - Flint swaps in for Davies

65 - O'Mara in for wiped Jones

We were carried by Ronnie Sedlan's PotM 8.1. It was always going to be an ugly game, as both teams were playing on a short turnaround. But we advance, and that's what matters.

We've also won six games in a row, which breaks the Rotherfield team record. It's amazing how changing the duties around completely transformed this squad. That and never telling them they're doing a good job at halftime, but always warning them against complacency.

Transfer In - MR/AMLR Shaun Pearson (22)
My scout thinks he's okay on potential. My staff absolutely loves his upside. Will either be a starter at AML, depending on another offer we have out, or come off the bench. Or maybe he'll start at AMR. I haven't decided yet.

Transfer In - MCL/AMCL Adrian Maguraushe (22)
Another one my staff loves more than my Chief Scout. He's considered worlds better than even Ben Korosi at the AML, so he's firmly planted himself as the starter there. One of his favorite teammates is Glenn Walker, who unfortunately left us. Still, this is a huge, huge signing.

@ Sporting Elite (1st)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Finn O'Mara/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Ronnie Sedlan

Big game here. Win, and we're officially in the promotion conversation. Lose, and they'll consolidate their 4 point lead on second place, and their 6 point lead on us.

6 - Davies constantly bails us out here, and the move ends with Maguraushe crossing to alone Richings, and the high bounce pass coincides perfectly with Sedlan's sizzling strike into the net. 1-0

53 - Flynn on for Roberts, who has stunk all game.

65 - Pearson in for tired Harrison

Solid all around performances, with the standouts Callum Richings getting his third PotM award since the changeup with 7.7 and Ronnie Sedlan with 7.5. Finn O'Mara had a modest 6.9, but he might finally have the starting spot he's been clamoring for.

And we're now in 2nd on a comfortable goal differential of +5. Seven games left, and we've completely turned our season around after having been in the relegation zone for a very brief spell (we had a game in hand).

Keymer & Hassocks is destroying Division 3, 9 point lead with +16 GD and only 2 draws. Lack of trophies is what's keeping Lewis Haldane off the list of heroes, though he took them to the Edgar German Challenge Cup Final last season.

Woodley Town is last in the Hellenic Premier and barring a miracle, they'll go right back down.

Chelmsford is in 1st by 3 points with 2 games in hand in the Isthmian Premier, so the Clarets are looking a good bet to promote right back up.

[Izulde]

Those 3 PotM awards by Callum Richings is a new Rotherfield record BTW.

In one month, I've jumped up from Stable to Very Secure, the board quite happy with our sudden leap up to a promotion spot. Even when I've just been okay all these months, I keep getting mentioned as a favorite for vacant positions higher up the chain.

And then Ronnie Sedlan is hurt AGAIN, out for 4 weeks. We just can't keep him healthy.

vs Smallfield (8th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Finn O'Mara/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Shaun Humphreys

13 - Ugh. 0-1

22 - Giving them 9000 shots doesn't work, assholes. 0-2

Halftime talk is a disaster as I ream apart my defense and they're not happy. Stenson replaces Jones and Dunlap for Humphreys.

47 - Mauguraushe forces his opposite to backtrack all the way down the field, whereupon he steals the ball and crosses for Harrison to score his first senior goal! 1-2

60 - Pearson results in an asymmetrical shift, as I pull him up to MR because I'm sick of looking at Richings' 5.9-6.0.

76 - Ugh. PK. But Diallo stops it.

vs Ovingdean (Sussex Intermediate Cup Fifth Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Finn O'Mara/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Fernando Bell-Toxtle
M: Viv Davies/Simon Rowley
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Sorin Dulap

Humphreys replaces injured Dulap; Stenson tired Davies at half.

54 - Flynn for Roberts

65 - Humphreys runs his way out of a five defender wall and kicks ahead to Maguraushe on the far left flank. The cross evades a header and lands where Harrison can slam it in! There's a bug that keeps reporting this as his first goal and on a debut, but whatever. 1-0

Callum Richings' 7.2 wins PotM, but I thought Finn O'Mara's 7.2 was far more deserving.

vs Ridgewood (Mid Sussex Senior Cup Fourth Round)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Callum Richings/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Joseph Hall
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Shaun Humphreys

37 - They've done just enough to fend us off shot after shot, but Rowley kicks it back to Hall, who dribbles forth and passes to Harrison for the header to Maguraushe. The shot threads through two defenders and into the net! 1-0

O'Mara replaces the yellow carded Hall at half.

76 - Flint in for Davies

PotM goes to Gernando Bell-Toxtle's 7.9, but Adrian Maguraushe's 7.8, GWG, and first score for us is right behind.

@ United Services (5th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Finn O'Mara/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Ronnie Sedlan

Our last game loss dropped us to 4th, 2 points back of a promotion place and 3 points back of 1st. While every match is important now, this one is particularly critical.

16 - Harrison is dribbling into the teeth of three defenders, and he diverts them by winging out to Richings. Cross to the middle, and Maguraushe leaps up to head the ball in. 1-0

37 - One of their defenders handles the ball on a corner, and Bell-Toxtle spears the PK. 2-0

49 - Stenson swaps in for complacent, lolly-gagging Davies.

Another PotM and 8.0 for Callum Richings, who continues his remarkable turnaround to coincide with our season reversal. 8.0 for Fernando Bell-Toxtle as well, and 7.6 for Adrian Maguraushe.

That puts us back in 2nd on GD, but there's still a team with a game in hand who could leapfrog us.

Callum Richings also broke the single season Rotherfield assists record with 6. Funny how I was close to cutting him at one point, and now he's emerged as one of our most valuable players. Means I was misusing him at Keymer & Hassocks, and here earlier.

vs Buxted II (10th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Jordan Flint
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Ronnie Sedlan

21 - Sedlan is surrounded by defenders, so he boots an aerial ball all the way down to the left flank touchline, where Maguraushe snags it and centers to the cluster of defenders in the mouth of the net. Problem being, Harrison is there, too, and he short kicks it in. 1-0

53 - Humphreys in for Sedlan, and we go asymmetrical by pulling Maguraushe down to ML and tossing Davies in as his replacement.

68 - Humphreys recovers a dispossession in the box and short passes back to Davies. The cross to Rowley is good and so is his diagonal shot. 2-0

89 - Davies laterals it to Bell-Toxtle following a great interception by Roberts. The pass is into the box for Rowley, who waits to find his spot, and then lances a line drive between three defenders, and the ball *just* finds the corner of the net! 3-0

All full-time starters scored a 7.2 or higher bar the keeper (6.9). Highlights go to Darren Stenson (8.1), Fernando Bell-Toxtle (9.0), PotM [b]Simon Rowley (9.3), and Keith Harrison (7.6).

Transfer Out - DR Kostas Solomou
I really wanted to like this kid, but he just got out-played, and my coaches never liked him anyway.

@ Sporting Lindfield (Mid Sussex Senior Cup Quarter Final)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Shaun Pearson
S: Ronnie Sedlan

28 - Own goal by Roberts. FML. 0-1

31 - Bell-Toxtle to Rowley for the dribble and pass to Sedlan just outside the half-circle. 20 yard strike booms its way in! 1-1

3-2-2-3 DM Wide after Flynn replaces Roberts and Flint becomes a second DM, replacing Jones.

97 - Humphreys in for exhausted Sedlan

104 - Richings' cross is cleared, but Bell-Toxtle gets it back and laterals to Rowley for the forceful strike home, after having spent all of extra time hammering away at these guys. 2-1

The team really turned it on after I yelled at them at the original halftime, and the defense particularly rebounded. 7.5 for Callum Richings, 7.7 for Darren Stenson, 8.2 for Viv Davies, matching 9.0s for Fernando Bell-Toxtle and Simon Rowley - the latter PotM, 8.3 for Ronnie Sedlan, who was okay with being pulled after I told him he needed a breather, and 7.2 off the bench for Jordan Flint.

Keymer & Hassocks are through to the Mowatt Challenge Cup Final. Meanwhile, we're in 1st place in Division 1, though we might still drop to 2nd after a team with a game in hand plays.

[Izulde]

@ East Court (Sussex Intermediate Cup Quarterfinal)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Fernando Bell-Toxtle
M: Viv Davies/Simon Rowley
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Ronnie Sedlan

Flint for Davies and down to DM with MC switch at half.

52 - Richings moves to a BWM defender role at MC, and Hall comes in at DR to replace Jones as we go with a 3-1-3-3 DM formation.

79 - Humphreys in for Sedlan

117 - Bell-Toxtle shoots a bullet into the box to Harrison for the cross. I think it's going to be Humphreys, but it's Rowley sneaking behind to snipe the goal in. They're screaming Humphreys was offsides, but to no avail. 1-0

8.1 for Darren Stenson, 7.5 for Tom Roberts, 8.0 for Fernando Bell-Toxtle and 8.8 for PotM Simon Rowley.

Transfer Out - Finn O'Mara
Bounced in and out of the starting lineup, but never could quite hold it down, so he's on to more guaranteed PT elsewhere, or least a PPA contract.

@ Ridgewood (5th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Callum Richings/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Ronnie Sedlan

Switching to the 3-1-3-3 DM for this one just because.

27 - Jones heads and fights off the defender to get the ball, then pops it into space for Harrison to run on into and dribble into the box. Short, high pass to Sedlan sees the header to Maguraushe, and the second header bounces in with a post assist. 1-0

Davies moves up to the BWM CM role and Flint comes on, as Richings not only has a yellow, but has played like garbage.

56 - Pearson jumps on for Harrison

A game where no one stood out, but we'll take it. Especially since it officially guarantees that we can't relegate. In fact, we can't finish any worse than 8th.

Youth Pulls
A few interesting guys, but low determination and/or ambition players plus selfish strikers mean I only sign one guy, a ML/AML who could be the top backup right now, and gives us coverage in case Ben Korosi isn't the same player when he gets back.

I also cut a bunch of players who just don't have the upside to make it on this roster. Callum Richings may find himself on the chopping block soon, too, as he has the least amount of talent of anyone on the senior team.

Transfer Out - ST Ronnie Sedlan
Welp, there goes our leading scorer. I was planning on replacing him anyway, but it sucks to see him leave now. I'm not panicked about it like I would have been earlier in the season, however, as we really need a more natural False 9.

Transfer In - ST Paul Gutteridge (22)
Sparkled for Crawley Cobras, though finding someone who can actually play the False 9 is proving impossible. I'll keep bringing guys in and training them, however.

@ Harting (Sussex Intermediate Cup Semi-final)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Paul Gutteridge

Note to self: If adjusting to a 3-3-3-1 DM, do it on another formation, because then resetting to the 4-1-2-3 DM resets it to Competent, when it was Accomplished before.

13 - Rowley flips it back to Bell-Toxtle for the right flank longball to Richings. The cross makes it easy for Maguraushe to walk it in. 1-0

32 - I just noticed with the reset, the style got set to Standard. No wonder we allowed our first goal in a while. 1-1

39 - Back to Control and Rowley plays it ahead for Harrison's cross-pitch line drive that charging Maguraushe fires in. 2-1

Flint for Davies, and just for the fun of it, and because Richings has a yellow, we switch to a 3-1-2-4 DM Wide with Dulap coming in as an attacking Target Man.

50 - Stenson fell asleep there. 2-2

77 - Prime interception by Roberts to start a move that caps with Bell-Toxtle passing to Rowley and on to Gutteridge. Feed into space, and the Romanian Dulap spears his first goal for Rotherfield! 3-2

84 - Bell-Toxtle sends it back to I don't know who for the longball left flank, and Roberts crosses it to Harrison, firing the debut goal bug again, even though this totally isn't his first goal or appearance. 4-2

Heroic performance by Emmanuel Diallo in the net despite the goals, notching a 7.7. 8.3 for Keith Harrison, 8.8 for Andrei Maguraushe and PotM, 7.5 for Paul Gutteridge and a 7.0 bench showing for Sorin Dulap.

vs Brighton Boys Brigade Old Boys (6th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Paul Gutteridge/Sorin Dulap

26 - Harrison has two guys on him in the box, so he outlets it back to Bell-Toxtle for the back in box feed to Rowley. Shot's lined up, and *bam*! 1-0

37 - How the hell they didn't score there, I'll never know. Stenson had to try and cover two guys by himself.

39 - Two guys missed on headers, and they scored on the corner. 1-1

Pearson subs in for Harrison's yellow card self at half.

52 - Sigh. Okay, enough monkeying around. Gutteridge is out, and Dulap's DLF self is the lone striker. Jones to DC, Richings in at DR, as we return to our normal formation. 1-2

56 - Rowley rocks left flank to Roberts. Cross to Dulap and the ball is stripped away, but Rowley's run up to ram in the rebound. 2-2

I'm not going to chew them out for that one - it was my screwup, getting cute with that. And we're still in 1st by 1 point with 2 left to play. Tightly packed on top of the table - 5 teams within 3 points of us.

[Izulde]

Simon Rowley breaks the Rotherfield league goals scored with 6, and with 9 goals overall, he still has an outside chance of hunting down Ronnie Sedlan's season record. He also has 6 PotM awards, breaking Callum Richings's earlier record.

The transfer deadline passes in a blink of an eye. We didn't feel like participating, and our guys other clubs were interested in didn't want to think about it.

Buxted II and Forest Row are relegated. Awkwardly enough, Rotherfield II is relegated from Division Nine. Oops. I think I'm going to change jobs this summer. Seeing the II and III teams is really kind of annoying.

@ AFC Haywards (8th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Sorin Dulap

8 - Dulap passes back to Bell-Toxtle for the spring forward to Harrison. Cross to unguarded side, and Rowley sinks it. 1-0

69 - Welp. 1-1

80 - Pearson for Maguraushe

87 - .... 1-2

This wasn't a game we deserved to lose by any means.

We drop to 2nd, whereas a win would have clinched promotion, like it did for Smallfield.

...LOL. Scott Matranga has been whining for first team action. So a website took a vote. 87% said he should be starting, 7% said No, and 6% were undecided. GTFO. You guys don't know shit.

@ Fellbridge (Mid Sussex Senior Cup Semi-Final)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Stenson/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Sorin Dulap

46 - Just before half, [b]Stenson/b] is knocked out, so we go with a 3-2-2-3 with 2 DM and Flint in.

52 - Pearson for Harrison

82 - Roberts runs down the loose ball on the left flank and passes to Maguraushe, who is wiped out in a sliding tacke. Roberts gets it back and shoots a cross that finds Dulap's head for the late goal. 1-0

7.6 and PotM for Fernando Bell-Toxtle in our grindy win.

Darren Stenson is out for the season with a torn groin muscle (2-3 months), which puts us in really bad shape for our last three matches of the year.

@ Cuckfield Town (4th)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Green/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Sorin Dulap

It's down to either us or Cuckfield going up. Win or draw, and it's us. Lose and it's them, as the third place team is out of games.

7 - Beautiful save by Jones after Green gets absolutely wrecked in our box. Later on, Bell-Toxtle blasts it ahead of Dulap on the left flank, who goes to the touchline, then diagonals back into the box for a streaking Maguraushe to overcome a two game slump and fire in the first strike. 1-0

9 - See Davies flare it out to Harrison. See Harrison cross to Maguraushe. See Magurashe smash in his second goal. 2-0

39 - Roberts on the IDK and gets it back. Pass to Harrison sees a shot headed away, but Bell-Toxtle is there on the bounce down and he rifles it in. 3-0

The whole team was pumped after I told them to do this one for the fans at the beginning of the game, and I told them in the team meeting prior just to play it cool and play their game.

Now, do I tell them not to get complacent? They're all hyped and motivated. In the end, I say nothing. Let them play as they will.

53 - Silence is golden as Rowley passes to Bell-Toxtle for the wing out to Richings. Cross to all alone Mauguraushe and there's the hat trick!!!! What what! 4-0

71 - Eh, it's only one goal. 4-1



Was even higher before we let that one goal in. Either way, what a hell of a way to end the league season and clinch the title!

We lucked out in that it was a real bruiser of a season in Division One. That allowed us to move up and snap up the title on the last day of the year. In a normal season, that doesn't happen, but we get it on goal differential thanks to our second half surge.

Lewis Haldane finally gets his trophy, winning the Mowatt Challenge Cup along with the Division 3 title. Good for him.

@ Ditchling (Mid Sussex Senior Cup Final)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Green/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Simon Rowley/Fernando Bell-Toxtle
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Sorin Dulap

28 - Maguraushe's corner hits Green, but the ball's stripped away. Rushing Rowley runs up and slams in the diagonal! 1-0

49 - Pearson in for Maguraushe, who has gone back to his poor form ways.

75 - Bell-Toxtle sprays out to Roberts, who engineered this attack by grabbing a loose ball. He crosses to Harrison for the short kick goal, and debut goal bug fires again. 2-0

Every full-time starter except Dulap (6.6) grabbed a 7.1 or higher. Highlights are 7.7 for Tom Roberts, 7.6 for Callum Richings, 9.0 for PotM Simon Rowley 7.6 for Fernando Bell-Toxtle, and 7.9 for Keith Harrison.

Rotherfield win their first trophy of this universe!!!!

I unlock the Cup Streak achievement for it, too. Just $1.46k for this trophy win, however, which is pretty damn skeezy.

@ West Hill United (Sussex Intermediate Cup Final)
G: Emmanuel Diallo
D: Tom Roberts/Darren Green/Chris Jones/Callum Richings
DM: Viv Davies
M: Fernando Bell-Toxtle/Simon Rowley (They've been this way the last three games. I've just missed it)
AM: Adrian Maguraushe/Keith Harrison
S: Sorin Dulap

11 - We're rightfully awarded a PK on a behind tackle on Harrison. No problem for Bell-Toxtle to make his 7th goal of the year. 1-0

44 - Rowley lateral to Davies for the pass up to Bell-Toxtle. Forward pass in the box to Dulap. Short dribble and soft kick, and our Romanian has his third goal! 2-0

51 - Poor backpass by Dulap. Flint for Green; Gutteridge for Dulap. 1-2

52 - Unbelievable own goal by Jones. JFC. 2-2

66 - What a ridiculous collapse. 2-3

Yeah, I'm packing my bags. Beautiful season, but just too many annoyances with the Harrison bug, and the B and C teams make me feel like I'm running three squads at once.

[Izulde]

Keith Harrison has 9 assists, breaking Callum Richings' Rotherfield record of 8 this season.

New All-Time Rotherfield Best XI inductees: Simon Rowley, Fernando Bell-Toxtle, and Callum Richings. Making the subs: Emmanuel Diallo and Darren Stenson.

Simon Rowley wins 46% of Fans Player of the Year vote, Fernando Bell-Toxtle second with 41%. A distant third is Viv Davies with 11%. Makes sense as our midfielders were the most dominant part of our game this season, and I'm going to hate leaving Rotherfield because of how attached I've grown to Rowley and Bell-Toxtle.

The players think my mid-table ambitions for next season are way too much. Good thing I'm probably leaving soon.

Rotherfield gets a $0.1k bump in sponsorships next season. Meanwhile, I've found the perfect team to apply for. Checks the boxes of Amateur, cool team name, no promotions, no trophies, no Icons, cool pin badge image. Just waiting for the interview and acceptance.

I apply to the US and Mexico U23 teams since they come across my desk, but I'm rejected immediately by both. Oh well, worth the shot.


March Town United FC Hares
Way back in 1988, they won the Eastern Counties Premier League, so they've been to the Isthmian Division One North at least, but are still an Amateur side. They started off this universe in Eastern Counties Division One, stunk a lot, and then relegated finally to the Anglican Combination Premier Division, which doesn't drop any lower here. They were second to last two years ago, and 13th out of 16 teams this season. Their high mark in any league is 11th, their first season here.

I fire all the incompetent staff but the best I can find is 13 JPA/12 JPP guys. The good news is one's an elite coach, and the other is a guy with full knowledge of Portugal, and good knowledge of Brazil and Argentina. That's *huge*. The bad news? I should have just kept the previous physio, who was 6, because that's all I can find who will work here.

Transfer In - DLR Rafail Christoforou (23) (Cypriot)
Huge boost at DR, and is also our best DL guy. Obviously this will settle out as we bring more players in, but his DL greatness is weak comparatively - 1.5* to 4* on the right side.

Transfer In - MC Jackson Idzi (19) (Welsh)
Our best MC by a million, but when he gets to the club, I find out he has low determination, and I hate those kinds of players. Still, he'll stick around because Simon Rowley and Fernando Bell-Toxtle declined my invitation to become Hares.

Can I just say how much I love that this team is the March Hares? I'm deffo hoping to take them to Wonderland.

Transfer In - GK Kyle Greening (18) (Welsh)
Rated equal in talent to our incumbent keeper, but the guy from last season stinks at 1 v 1. Greening doesn't come with that flaw, so he's going to be the one to start in the nets and continue my long, proud tradition of non-English keepers. And the current captain pitched a hissy fit about introducing him to the team, saying he's tired of being asked to do that. You're losing the band, asshole. That's the first time I've had someone bitch about that.

Transfer In - ST Jamie O'Brien (18) (Irish)
Can he be the new Jamie Gray, in the trend of great Irish strikers named Jamie who have played for my squads? In any case, he's an absolutely elite player yet again over everyone else on the team at that slot, so I'm hoping for good things.

Transfer In - MR/AMR Anthony Peltier (18) (Trinbagonian)
From Trinidad & Tobago, another giant upgrade in talent at his spot. I love raiding the non-English players, and that's what I've been doing obviously. There's two more guys I have on tap, and then we'll look at the roster again to see where we need to upgrade.

Transfer In - ST Chinoso Okoye (21) (Nigerian)
The adjustments have already started, as he was elite potential when we first looked at him, but after the rash of signings, he's 1.5/3. Still our second best current striker, however.

Transfer In - DC Pasca Andrei Sorin (22) (Romanian)
Bust signing. Oh well. Was bound to happen in the early rush of players.

After all the adjustments, we need DC, DL, DM, MC, ML/AML, ST (in case we go to two). The left side of the pitch is particularly putrid.

Transfer In - DC Jordan Garner (27)
Tagged with being a slow player, yet he's still overall a huge talent upgrade over what we had as the second option roaming the middle before. One of the other original DCs is a 3*, so I'm fine here for our starting lineup.

Transfer In - MC/AMC Robert Paratore (27) (Australian)
Not an elite player by any means, but good enough that he's our top MC, light years ahead of Jackson Idzi, which is great. Idzi drops to 2.5* Current after all our people brought in.

Transfer In - MC/DM Anthony Wilson (23)
And now I can boot Jackson Idzi to the subs, as Wilson ranks just a hair above him as the new Hare, which is good enough for me.

At this point is our preseason team meeting, wherein we decided to shoot for a mid-table finish based on the current roster composition. That'd be a huge increase for this team, but we'll see if we can do better than that. After all, in every single full season I've coached with one team start to finish, we've won a title.

Transfer In - DLCR/DM/MLCR Jomo Howell (21)
Not a starter at all, but look at all the freaking positions he can play! Also eligible to play for Barbados. Utility bench man who will be a fixture on our subs - if he doesn't start at DL. That's currently a weak spot, and he's presently our best one. My assman thinks he can be a star - my Chief Scout sees him as a 3* potential, so we'll see.

Transfer In - DC/DM/MC Alex Brough (22)
Again split opinions on upside, but he's an immediate starter at either DC or DM - likely DM as I prefer using those in my setups, and he's clearly the class there, and #2 at DC.

Transfer In - DM/MC Shane Potter (22)
#2 DM but I may go ahead and start him there anyway, so I can have Brough at DC and add another one to my guys in the starting lineup. I do so hate using incumbents.

I'm going to go ahead with the 4-1-2-3 DM Wide setup I used at Rotherfield with Control. I'm sure my assistants will chime in with stuff they want me to do differently. Player roles and duties will be the same as then, though I'll leave instructions at default until advised otherwise.

Roster purge happens next, clearing out all the junk in the trunk.

Transfer In - ML/AMLC Bobby Lofthouse (29)
Solid veteran player who actually gives us a legitimate player on the left side. Freaking finally!

Transfer In - MLC/AML/ST Tom Hooper (23)
High upside player who will be a capable reserve on the left side and the #2 ST. An obvious guy to be on our subs roster.

Transfer In - MLC/AML Nial Forrester (22)
Equal in current ability to Bobby Lofthouse *and* has 5* potential?! Yes freaking please! Huge relief signing, giving us a young guy we can build around there.

Transfer In - DLR Reece Blake (24)
Marginally best DL, so it's still a huge problem there, but he has upsides and allows us to move Mr. Play Everywhere Jomo Howell to the bench.

Transfer In - DC Richard Warrington (21)
Elite upgrade at DC, allowing us to move Alex Brough to his best spot of DM.

Transfer In - DL/WBL/ML/AML Dylan Massey (18)
I love picking up English Trialist players who I think might have a future on the team, and I think this kid's one of them. I'm tempted to give him the start at DL, as he's not that for off Reece Blake, and he's younger.

Chinoso Okoye slacks off in training, and then mouths off to me. He won't be long for the team with that attitude. If I didn't think it'd affect morale, I'd cut his ass now.

Preseason Predictions
Ecclesfield are 4-5 favorites to win at all, but everyone's noticed the improvements to the wholesale makeover of the Hares, and so March is listed as 5-1 second favorites. Plus, you know, me being the awesome manager at bucking up amateur sides.

We finish 1-1-1 in preseason, and I'm quietly hopeful for how we'll look in the season ahead. I think my coaches are waiting until they really know the team to make suggestions for how we should optimize our squad, but I'm loving the complete rebuild. Still some areas of weakness - GK, DL, DR, DM, MC, ST all have less than 3* for their starters (including both MC spots), but those upgrades can wait until later in the season, or at least until my eyes stop burning.

[Izulde]

Niall Forrester and Alex Brough are named Captain and Vice-Captain for the season.

I feel like having Jamie O'Brien as a DLF is a waste of his 12 Finishing, so I make him an attacking Target Man instead.

Lousy supporters here - we sell just 6 season tickets, same as last year. That poor fan support explains why the club has just $10.3k in the bank. As a point of comparison - oh wait, I can't look at Keymer & Hassocks. Oops. That's still an absurdly low amount for a team that's been around this long.

With 30 league games, there's just one cup to play for - the Sterry Cup, which the board wants us to make the Final of. The league they just want a mid-table showing from.

vs Teversal
G: Kyle Greening
D: Dylan Massey/Jordan Garner/Alex Brough/Rafail Christoforou
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Anthony Wilson/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Jamie O'Brien

FBs are set to Support, as our wingers are attacking. In central midfield, Lofthouse is a supporting CM; Wilson a BWM defender. Up top, Hooper the supporting defensive forward and O'Brien the attacking Target Man.

We're playing a Structured shape with a much higher tempo, narrow width, staying on feet, and looking for the overlap. Standard mentality.

9 - Peltier passes back to Christoforou, then runs forward to get the return pass. Cross to the middle and Hooper is the first new March Hare to score! 1-0

Warrington replaces mistake-prone Garner at half.

57 - Okoye in for O'Brien

This was a bit of a lucky win, since nobody on our squad had higher than a 7.0, but we'll take the 3 points.

ARGH! Niall Forrester sprains his ankle so badly he's out for 2 months!

Transfer In - DR/MC Glenn O'Hanlon (30)
Big upgrade to DR, where he's a 4* player and will boot our Cyprus player to the bench, or more likely the unplayed list.

@ Cromer Town (3rd)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Dylan Massey/Jordan Garner/Alex Brough/Rafail Christoforou
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Jackson Idzi/Anthony Wilson/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Jamie O'Brien

Control mentality, and now players will roam from positions.

6 - Awful corner kick defense. 0-1

28 - Own goal by Christoforou. Why did I listen to my assman again? 0-2

Howell at ML; O'Hanlon at DR; Okoye replacing Hooper. Fuck it. ALL IN!

70 - Bullshit PK. No more roaming from position BTW. 0-3

Injuries continue as Bobby Lofthouse is out 5-6 weeks. Whoever plays left midfield is evidently damned to injuries.

@ Eccleshall (6th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Reece Blake/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Dylan Massey/Anthony Wilson/Shane Potter/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Jamie O'Brien

Back to Standard, and a couple instructions are taken off, including the stupid one.

Our corner kicks are set up stupidly, too, but I'll do that after the game. Okoye steps in for O'Brien at half.

59 - What the fuck kind of pass was that, Blake?! 0-1

91 - It's like we're not even trying. 0-2

vs Downham (9th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Rafail Christoforou/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Dylan Massey/Anthony Wilson/Shane Potter/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Jamie O'Brien

Idzi comes in at MC and Brough moves to the other MC spot due to the yellows. Garner then slides in at DC.

61 - Insane moonball by Christoforou down the left that Massey somehow gets to before it crosses the sideline. Cross he does to O'Brien, the Irishman finally hammering in a goal with authority. 1-0

I've yet to see a truly good game from our players, as Jamie O'Brien's 7.2 gives us our first PotM of the year. But I suppose they need time to gel.

Transfer In - ST Elvis Menayese (25) (Welsh)
What's this? An actual striker worth his salt? Yessir, and we're kicking Tom Hooper out and changing that defensive forward to a deep-lying one, where the Welsh King excels.

vs Woodbridge (12th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Rafail Christoforou/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Dylan Massey/Jackson Idzi/Shane Potter/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

Garner replaces Brough; Potter in for Wilson at half.

50 - Give it time, give it time, give it time. 0-1

56 - Following a corner clearance recovery, Massey to Menayese, who is staring down two defenders. Lay off to Peltier, who dribbles into the box and fires his shot for his first goal. Hey, man, don't cartwheel yet. It's only a tie. 1-1

89 - O'Hanlon just barely gets to a ball first and kicks it back to Greening for the blast down to Peltier. He shoots it ahead into space for O'Brien to beat everyone and slice in the late go-ahead goal! 2-1

We survive an absolute shit day from our defense thanks to the first truly good game from one of our guys - Trinidadan Anthony Peltier scooping up PotM with an 8.3.

Not a great first five games, but we're in 5th and very much still in the conversation once we can figure out what the hell we're doing and put it all together.

[Izulde]

Chinoso Okoye breaks his leg and is out 5-6 months, and one of our other backup strikers is gone 6-8 days. Been one of those years already. Fortunately there's a 10 Physio guy willing to join us, so I fire our 6 one, who I think is causing a lot of the problems.

@ Harleston Town (3rd)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Rafail Christoforou/Jordan Garner/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Dylan MasseyShane Potter/Anthony Wilson/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Jamie O'Brien

Wilson started last game too, and maybe some others. Sometimes I don't catch all the changes when I copy/paste.

Fun fact - the Harleston Town manager led the Hares last season. Did a poor job so they punted his ass, and that's where I come in.

51 - Menayese for O'Brien and I change Hooper to DF; Elvis to Poacher. Paratore slots in for Wilson and midfield switch.

87 - Brough nearly runs over Paratore on his way to intercept, and then launches a long ball. They miss the header, so it bounces into the box. Menayese is there first, and he powers in his first goal for us! 1-0

7.0 for Elvis Menayese off the bench, but the story here is Alex Brough's balla 8.0 and PotM. Some day we'll get multiple guys with 7.5+, but today is not that day. Still, it's another win.

vs Cromer Town (Sterry Cup First Round First Leg)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Rafail Christoforou/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Tom Hooper/Jackson Idzi/Anthony Wilson/Jomo Howell
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

This is bullshit that we draw the #1 team in our league for the first round. Not happy at all with this.

Garner replaces Brough's tired ass at half.

60 - Peltier for Howell; Potter for Wilson

What an absolute snore fest. Like a fucking dormouse, even.

Pasca Andrei Sorin gets hurt and is out 4 weeks. Not that he was gonna play, but you know.

@ St. Andrew's (6th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Rafail Christoforou/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Robert Paratore/Anthony Wilson/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

42 seconds - Paratore lets it fly down the left flank for Peltier to run down and cross to Menayese. Sweet, swift, score! 1-0

7 - This is what happens when you throw 3 defenders at one guy. O'Brien, facing those obstacles after a pass from Peltier, outlets to Menayese who is all alone for his second goal of the game. 2-0

O'Brien gets badly dinged on his heel just before half, so Menayese to his position and now a Poacher, with Hooper coming on and changing to defensive forward at the break.

75 - Garner jumps in for exhausted Warrington

8.8 and PotM for Elvis Menayese obviously. And oh so close to multiple 7.5s, as we have 3 guys with 7.4 - Anthony Peltier, Robert Paratore, and Bobby Lofthouse.

Whilst we lose Jamie O'Brien for 2-3 weeks, the victory puts us in the plus side of goal differential, and we're now 2nd in the league. It's slowly starting to come together.

[Izulde]

Niall Forrester finally gets healthy, and now Anthony Wilson goes down for 5-6 weeks. We just can not keep a healthy roster on this team.

vs Lincoln Moorlands Railway (5th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Rafail Christoforou/Jordan Garner/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Robert Paratore/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Elvis Menayese

54 - Idzi for Paratore; Howell for Forrester

67 - O'Hanlon with the throw-in to Menayese in the far right corner of the box. The cross far post hits Howell's head for his first ever goal for us!! 1-0

Still no breakthrough game, but Jomo Howell is PotM with his 7.2 off the bench, and we get a couple 7.0s. We also march (har-har), or hop (hee-hee) into 1st place! Impressive to shut out one of the top scoring teams in the league here.

@ Mulbarton Wanderers (7th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Rafail Christoforou/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Jackson Idzi/Shane Potter/Jomo Howell
S: Tom Hooper/Elvis Menayese

O'Hanlon moves up to MR, Christoforou switches to DR, and Massey comes in at DL, swapping out Howell at half.

53 - O'Brien comes on for Menayese. I meant to take out Hooper instead.

68 - Ugh. 0-1

87 - There that goes. 0-2

We drop to 2nd on goal differential as a result, and were looking at 3rd for a while there.

@ Cromer Town (Sterry Cup First Round Second Leg)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Rafail Christoforou/Jordan Garner/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Jackson Idzi/Robert Paratore/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Elvis Menayese

We're playing a much more conservative, counter-attacking game with high structure and discipline for this rough away match against the top team in the league. Still bullshit that we get them first round, and the 0-0 draw on our own turf hurts. But if we can get past them here, we've a good shot at winning it all, I think.

13 - We suck at free kick defending. 0-1

Massey for Christoforou; Howell for Paratore at the break.

73 - Greening blasts one downfield to Menayese and he dribbles ere the cross to Hooper to finally snap that one's scoreless streak. I went Overload, but after this, I drop down to Standard, because the Counter just wasn't working. We're also at Structured now. 1-1

91 - We got screwed there. Menayese was totally onsides.

Brough moves up to MC and switches with Howell, Warrington coming in at DC as we give exhausted Idzi a break.

94 - We can't defend set pieces worth shit. 1-2

Hard to win when you get fucked over by the refs. We should have won that 2-1 in regulation, and I think despite the positive results of my team talk before extra time, that just deflated the shit out of us to get robbed.

It gets worse. I thought the top 2 promoted. Nope - you have to win the whole fucking thing to go up. Unbelievable.

vs Dersingham Rovers (3rd)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Rafail Christoforou/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Jackson Idzi/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

17 - The corner is headed away, but Peltier is right there to drill it in the corner of the net. 1-0

45 - Absolutely beautiful corner clearance by Warrington that Idzi picks up to start a counter. End move is Christoforou dribbling all the way down the left flank to almost the touchline before crossing to unmarked Peltier, and there's his second goal! 2-0

Hooper in for tired Forrester at half.

60 - Potter jumps in for Lofthouse and MC switch.

Finally a pair of 7.5+ guys, with Rafail Christoforou putting up a 7.8 and Anthony Peltier rocking the 8.9 for PotM. Unfortunately the Cromer Town juggernaut just won't stop, so after a third of the season is in the books, we're still 2nd on GD. They're +8 to our +2, so have been dominant.

Transfer In - DL/DC Adam Male (25)
Not the elite player I thought he would be because I went off the initial scouting report, but at 2.5*, he's still a terrific improvement at the spot (or so I'm hoping).

The good news is, we fend off one of our toughest challengers here.

@ Reepham Town (14th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Rafail Christoforou
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Glenn O'Hanlon/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

7 - Questionable PK, but we'll take it, and Menayese converts. 1-0

54 - Male runs up to take the clearance and pop it over the head of the defense and Menayese. It drops into box space, and O'Brien overcomes a lousy game to get there first and put it away! That's the kind of debut I like to see! 2-0

75 - Idzi for Lofthouse; Howell for Warrington

Solid up and down performances, but again, we have trouble becoming truly dominant. Adam Male gets a 7.4 in his debut and that's good enough for PotM! Exciting stuff.

Better yet, Cromer Town got upset 0-2, so they fall back 3 points of us, and we're in sole possession of 1st place for the first time this season!

[Izulde]

@ Mattishall (16th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Jackson Idzi/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

6 - Love seeing 'He showed great composure there' and it's Male who makes a timely interception. Later on, Peltier is on the right flank, getting pressured by two defenders, so he lays off even further right to O'Hanlon. The rocket cross clangs off the post, and Menayese shoots. It's deflected, but our Welsh striker stays with it and sinks the rebound. 1-0

21 - O'Brien is up against a wall of three defenders, so he kicks back to Idzi, who passes left to Forrester. Our team captain plays a perfect ball into the box, and by this time O'Brien has broken through. The Irish kid gets there first and puts it away with no problem. 2-0

40 - HE WAS OFFSIDES!!!! [b]2-1/B]

42 - What the fuck?! You don't call that shit offsides, but claim O'Brien was offsides when he wasn't?! Fuck, I hate these road games.

50 - Idzi receives the throw-in and laterals to Lofthouse, who dribbles sideways a bit before laying it in perfectly for Menayese to scorch the keeper on the 1v1. 3-1

61 - Garner for Warrington and Hooper for Forrester

7.6 for Glenn O'Hanlon, 8.4 for Bobby Lofthouse, and 8.8 for PotM Elvis Menayese, who not only scored twice, but was everywhere on the pitch. Easily the most complete game we've played as a team all season long.

Mulbarton Wanderers have emerged as the new threat - just 3 points back, though I'm always happy to see Cromer Town settle for a draw.

vs Wivenhoe (5th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Jackon Idzi/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

44 - Peltier plays it right to a streaking O'Hanlon, and the firecracker shot is just barely deflected by the keeper. Goalie is still on the ground when O'Brien wins the footrace and scores. 1-0

62 - Garner for Warrington; Hooper for Menayese

90 - O'Hanlon makes a literal game saving clearance by moon shooting it all the way down the left flank to O'Brien. Two defenders on him, and he crosses to Hooper for the guaranteed victory goal. 2-0

Bobby Lofthouse PotM with a 7.7, and he continues to impress me lately, despite being rated our 6th best MC. The staff just really likes him out there. 7.6 for Jamie O'Brien and 7.5 for Adam Male, who has really solidified our backline since coming in. His late goal gave Tom Hooper a 7.1 off the bench.

vs Ellesmere (9th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Jackson Idzi/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

We've ourselves a nice 5 point cushion now. It really was just a matter of letting the team settle in and picking up Adam Male. Now of course, we'll probably lose.

Lazy play in the first half, so I tell the team off at halftime.

46 - Fierce Lofthouse longball into space has O'Brien there first for the first touch long strike that sizzles home. 1-0

53 - Hooper jumps on for Forrester

69 - A yellow and tiring means Idzi's out for Howell

88 - Rare misplay by Male costs us big time. 1-1

Well, not a loss, but it still snapped our win streak, and Cromer Town is back stalking us, just 3 points behind.

@ Scole United (14th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Rafail Christoforou
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Glenn O'Hanlon/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

6 - Our passes are looking a little sloppy, but Male passes to Menayese in the box. Like 5-6 guys are around him. Guess who they forgot to cover? O'Brien, who takes the short pass and slams it in. 1-0

20 - Iffy PK, but we'll take it. Menayese is probably the best all-around set piece taker in the league, so of course he has no problems converting. 2-0

45 - *Another* penalty *and* their player draws a red card! Menayese cheerfully converts this one too. 3-0

70 - Howell for O'Hanlon. Jomo's been complaining about not enough starts, so I really don't want to piss him off.

Every full-time starter except Greening (6.9) notched a 7.1 or higher. Three players with 7.5: Richard Warrington, Adam Male, and Anthony Peltier. 8.0 for Bobby Lofthouse, 7.9 for Jamie O'Brien and PotM Elvis Menayese takes home an 8.3. Yeah, I broke out the passionate joy for this one. Our best game yet.

Even better was Cromer Town getting beat 0-2 on their own turf, so halfway through the season, we have a 6 point lead!

Preseason favorite Eccleshall fired their manager. Considering they're sitting 13th right now, I'm not at all surprised.

Previous Positions
Keymer & Hassocks: In 1st place in Division Two after 7 games, but it's only by a point, and it's a tight race all throughout. They actually lost a couple games already.

Woodley Town: They only lasted one season up and are back down again. The Kestrels currently sit 3rd after 14 games, 2 points back of promotion, 5 of 1st place.

Chelmsford: After promoting back up, they're sitting 10th in the South right now through 17 games. They're also 10 points clear of relegation, and 9 behind the playoffs. 20 points behind the leaders. If the Clarets can hold serve, that would be their best finish since the 2014-15 season, when they also finished 10th.

Rotherfield: 11 games in, and they're in first place in the Mid Sussex Championship by a point. Four team race, with 4th place at 20 points. Much like Keymer & Hassocks, the moves I made set them up well to continue their dominance.

So that's two amateur teams I've built into powerhouses, and I'm hoping these March Town Hares can be the third. But this one I want to stay with and enjoy the ride to the top. Or however far I can get them.

[Izulde]

Elvis Menayese's 8 goals on the season breaks the old March Town United Hares season record in this universe. The previous high was 6, by one of the high potential players who's still hanging around.

@ Teversal (4th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Jackson Idzi/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

42 - O'Hanlon to Peltier and back again. Our DR dribbles all the way into the box on a 90 degree angle, and doesn't pass across until he's just outside the six yard box. The defender tries to clear, but Menayese blocks it with his body, and the ball rolls in to technically count as a goal. 1-0

Wilson will see his first game action after a long layoff, replacing tired Lofthouse at halftime.

53 - Hooper slides in for O'Brien, strikers and roles switch.

65 - Warrington suddenly veered off the striker as the pass came in. WTF? 1-1

66 - Immediate answer as Wilson passes forth to Peltier. The shot cracks off the woodwork, but it has the keeper out of the net, and Menayese quickly kicks in his 10th goal of the year on the rebound. 2-1

85 - Hooper lays it forward just enough ahead that Menayese can get to it and outrun the defense, cracking the shot from the half-circle for his hat trick! "Worth the price of admission alone" indeed. 3-1

7.6 for Anthony Peltier and 7.0 for Anthony Wilson off the bench. But this is all about Welsh rock star striker Elvis Menayese and his glamorous 9.5 hat trick in winning PotM.

vs Eccleshall (16th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Jordan Garner/Richard Warrington/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Alex Brough/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

Rough year for the preseason favorites. Fire their manager and they're now the worst team in the league. I smell a potential trap game here.

18 - Peltier intercepts and arcs a longball into the box for Menayese, who has everyone beat. The goal is easy as a Vegas hooker. 1-0

19 - Peltier dribbles into the box and I think he's going to shoot, but instead he veers wide right and crosses far post, where unmarked Forrester surprises the defense and scores his first Hares goal. 2-0

45 - Cool foot save by Greening

48 - We come out sloppy to start the half. Wilson slides on for Brough. 2-1

51 - Howell replaces Warrington, who was responsible for that goal.

70 - Like I said. Trap game. 2-2

vs Cromer Town (3rd)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Jackson Idzi/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

These guys are my archnemesis. If we can beat them for the first time this season here, that goes a long way to knocking them out of the title conversation.

16 - Male throws in to Lofthouse, who kicks it to Forrester for the first touch wingout back to Male. Cross finds Peltier to finally give our Trinidadan his first goal in a long time. 1-0

31 - Have I mentioned yet how much I hate these guys? 1-1

38 - Really, really, really hate them. 1-2

Brough moves up to MC to replace Idzi and Garner comes in at DC.

49 - Christoforou subs in for shitty O'Hanlon

Once again, we shit the bed against this team. And our lead is cut down to 4, thanks to a late own goal that rescued Mulbarton Wanderers.

@ Downham (5th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Rafail Christoforou
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Robert Paratore/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

22 seconds - Are.you.fucking.KIDDING.ME?! 0-1

22 - Howell for Paratore

39 - Hooper for Forrester

80 - Peltier passes to Menayese. Shot is blocked and Peltier gets it back, feeding Lofthouse in the box for his first ever goal for us. 1-1

I should tear them a new one, but they did step up their game in the second half and salvaged a draw out of it to maintain their 4 point edge. We're suddenly playing like ass right now though.

vs Harleston Town (7th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Adam Male/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Anthony Wilson/Anthony Peltier
S: Elvis Menayese/Jamie O'Brien

Hooper comes in for Forrester at the half. The team has stopped listening to me, though, which is worrying.

52 - O'Brien is injured, so Hooper moves up to ST and the usual switching. Lofthouse slides over to ML, O'Hanlon bumps up to MC, and Christoforou appears at DR.

And just like that, 2/3rds of the way through the season, our lead is chopped to just 2 points. We need to shake things up here.

[Izulde]

Jamie O'Brien is out of commission for 6-7 weeks. He's been inconsistent as fuck, but it's still a blow.

Transfer In - MC/AMC Ross Ibertson (27)
Took a gamble on him. He's not really worth it, argh! But he's another great corner taker to add to our arsenal. Probably our second best central midfielder overall, so perhaps he'll get a look.

Transfer In - MC Joseph Mensah (19)
For the first time all season long, we have a truly elite central midfielder. 4.5* and he rewrites the current abilities paradigm.As a matter of fact, he grades out as the best player on the entire squad. This is precisely the shot in the arm we needed.

Transfer In - MC Jay Brumpton (24)
Another upgrade at MC - we'll go in with fresh new central midfielders next game. Niall Forrester shows no interest in introducing him to the squad, so he'll lose his captain's band next year, and he'll furthermore lose his starting spot, as Bobby Lofthouse is considered our best ML now.

Transfer In - DL Matty Jones (28)
Absurdly fast and a big-time boost in talent at DL. Adam Male was good for a while, but not a long-term answer. Forrester again refuses to introduce him to the squad. So tempted to yank it right off him right now.

@ Woodbridge (12th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Joseph Mensah/Jay Brumpton/Anthony Peltier
S: Tom Hooper/Elvis Menayese

60 - Chez Heath, an original, replaces Menayese and Howell comes in for Lofthouse.

Strikers played like shit, but the rest of the squad was good enough to win. Thankfully, our 2 point lead holds.

Transfer In - ST Michael Kalonji (21)
Equal in ability to our Welsh star, so getting him is a huge relief. We finally have coverage for Jamie O'Brien, and a better overall player.

vs St. Andrew's (6th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Glenn O'Hanlon
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Joseph Mensah/Jay Brumpton/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

We so badly need a win right now. It's been a long time since we've gotten a victory.

59 - Jones longballs it to Lofthouse for the header to Menayese in the box. Finally, a freaking score. 1-0

74 - Howell at MR, Wilson replacing Brumpton

90 - FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!%RHASDLFHLASHSDGOWRHTOWRHTOWERA 1-1

We fucking drop to 2nd even though we're equal on points and GD.

I DID NOT FUCKING GO THROUGH THIS LONG ASS SEASON AND SPEND SO MUCH FUCKING TIME IN FRONT TO FUCKING PISS IT AWAY AT THE END OF THE YEAR!!!

@ Lincoln Moorlands Railway (9th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/Rafail Christoforou
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Joseph Mensah/Jay Brumpton/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

We're huge underdogs here because we haven't been able to buy a win.

13 - 0-1

23 - Fuck it. I'm overloading because our season's lost anyway if we don't win. Peltier hits the longball to Menayese and we get a goal. 1-1

Christoforou switches DL and O'Hanlon comes in, as does Wilson for Brumpton at half.

52 - Lofthouse crosses to all alone Peltier. First shot's deflected, but the rebound goes in!!! Time to go defensive. 2-1

We barely eke out the win on Anthony Peltier's 8.3 PotM. Mulbarton Wanderers got hammered 1-3 at their place, so we're back on top, and I'm just hoping the slump is *finally* over. Peltier also got his 8th assist of the season in this one, breaking the old March record of 7.

Transfer In - DLCR James Hammond (34)
A veteran presence to calm our backline down. 4.5* out of the DR spot, he blows away Glenn O'Hanlon and Rafail Christoforou, and is also our new best throw-in taker.

Transfer Out - Some Original Guy
Don't care.

vs Mulbarton Wanderers (2nd)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/James Hammond
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

Our entire season may well come down to this one right here, even though there's still 6 games left to play after we conclude the match, and still plenty of time for things to go haywire. Doesn't help that we lost to them last time.

8 - Booming kick by Mensah down to Kalonji, who parks on the touchline and passes back to Forrester. Scorching cross hits Menayse and his shot hits the net. 1-0

16 - Menayse cracks the corner and Brough bangs in the header with help from the post. His first goal in a Hares kit, and our first true corner goal of the season. Man, these boys are UP for it! 2-0

Jones gets carded just before half, so Male replaces him. I warn the guys not to get complacent.

60 - They start attacking, so we go defensive.

71 - Brumpton bumps tired Lofthouse

The three defenders who were there all game all grabbed 7.3 or higher, with Alex Brough the pick at 7.9. And of course, Elvis Menayse is hero of the match with his 8.2.

We're not out of the woods yet. 6 points up now, yes. But still 6 games to play. Not gonna lie, though - I'm literally shaking with relief after that one. Our boys came up huge just when we needed them to.

What a hell of a game!

[Izulde]

112 people came to that epic match with everything on the line, breaking the March attendance record from way back in 2016, which had 108 tickets sold. Elvis Menayese picks up his 5th PotM award of the season, breaking the old Hares mark of 4.

@ Dersingham Rovers (6th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/James Hammond
M: Niall Forrester/Bobby Lofthouse/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

This match got pushed back twice, so you know a short turnaround between games is coming. I also changed Mensah's role to a DLP to better fit his natural abilities.

6 - That's the kind of bomb you just can't do anything about. 0-1

24 - O'Hanlon in for Hammond

Forrester got dinged in the first half, so Lofthouse moves ML and Brumpton comes on at halftime. We're playing like garbage overall, however.

70 - Knew that penalty was coming. 0-2

90 - JFC. 0-3

Admittedly, 2 out of the 3 were impossibly lucky bombs, but come on, man. You can't drag ass out there like that. No matter if you have a now 5 point lead with 5 to play. Oh, and Niall Forrester is out 6-7 weeks to boot.

A couple of okay potential youth pulls, but nobody I want to invest in.

Then Tom Hooper gashes his leg and that's another 3-4 weeks. That Nigerian kid with the long injury? He was back for like 2 days and promptly got another long-term injury.

Another original player moves on.

vs Reepham Town (13th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Matty Jones/Richard Warrington/Alex Brough/James Hammond
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Jay Brumpton/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

5 - Lofthouse plays it long left flank to Kalonji, and the cross has Menayese smashing the header in. 1-0

65 - O'Hanlon replaces Mensah; O'Brien swaps in for Menayese

It was the kind of game where Matty Jones' 7.1 was good enough for PotM. Sometimes winning ugly is just as good as anything else. Especially since Mulbarton Wanderers lost to the same nastily defensive team in Downham that we did.

4 games left. 8 point lead. We've bought ourselves some more breathing room. My assman informs me we need just 6 points out of those 4 games to guarantee the title and promotion.

Transfer In - DC Lee Hunter (22)
Slow player, but great in the air, and a big jolt of talent infusion at one of our weakest areas. Overall, this is the least talented team I'm ever had in a promotion position as we have just 6 players right now good enough for the next level, and only one player who has above next level potential - Anthony Peltier, who has Vanarama North/South upside.

I see Bojan Tetek is back with Keymer & Hassocks, as Lewis Haldane talked him into returning. When *I* try to get our Serbian to March, he says thanks but no thanks. I don't think he ever quite got over our PPA contract arguments at Chelmsford.

@ Wivenhoe (12th)
G: Kyle Greening
D: Matty Jones/Alex Brough/Lee Hunter/James Hammond
M: Bobby Lofthouse/Jay Brumpton/Joseph Mensah/Anthony Peltier
S: Michael Kalonji/Elvis Menayese

19 - Menayese twisted his ankle, and though I want to let him play out the half, he's clearly too hobbled by it to be effective, so O'Brien is in.

Warrington replaces tired Hunter at half.

77 - Mensah takes the free kick now that our Welsh hero is on the sideline. It connects with Warrington, who traps, controls, and fires in his first ever goal for us!!! 1-0

84 - Warrington almost had his second score on a corner kick, but instead it's deflected and the defender own goals it. Cool. 2-0

Richard Warrington was a freaking amazing sub, racking up a 7.8. James Hammond also netted a 7.8, but the PotM was Joseph Mensah's 7.9 outing.

The good news? With 3 games left, we're still up by 8 points, though Cromer Town's game in hand could cut that to 7. We also can't finish any worse than 3rd, which is an incredible single season turnaround.

The bad news? Elvis Menayese is out 6-7 weeks. Absolutely crushing injury to happen right now.