Is it Possible to Fudge a bank Statement?

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

Ollie Girl is pretty close...

Just call me Sherlock Holmes

Seriously, just tell her the truth...if you lie and then get caught, you are in trouble for both the stupid thing and the lie.

I've had this same conversation with my 8 year old. Do men never learn????


PS - it's OLIEGIRL, not Ollie Girl...

[MikeVic]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

PS - it's OLIEGIRL, not Ollie Girl...

What do you have against NBA Great Kevin Ollie?

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

I've had this same conversation with my 8 year old. Do men never learn????

No. At least Arlie didn't.

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by MikeVic

What do you have against NBA Great Kevin Ollie?

Well, for starters I can't stand basketball. Also, it's our cat's name, she's named after the Disney show Rolie Polie Olie.

No. At least Arlie didn't.

God help me!

[Samdari]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

You're absolutely right. Husbands do many things they don't want their wives to know about.

But it's even more naive to think we don't know, or will never find out.

Have I mentioned that I am glad you have no idea how to contact the wife .

But, if there's no paper trail, there's no need to discuss what you both know. We can go on in blissful ignorance thinking we are successfully hiding it. Wives can monitor that we are using an appropriate amount of discretion in our sordid activities (cause really, they only care that the neighbors and their mother find out). Its beautiful, it works for everybody. But using the check card? Not bright.

[duckman]

Oh, like you two women have never did something deceitful to your husbands before.

[John Galt]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Yeah, you need to leave the country. That's your only chance.

Agreed. It really is the only option.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by Samdari

Have I mentioned that I am glad you have no idea how to contact the wife .

But, if there's no paper trail, there's no need to discuss what you both know. We can go on in blissful ignorance thinking we are successfully hiding it. Wives can monitor that we are using an appropriate amount of discretion in our sordid activities (cause really, they only care that the neighbors and their mother find out). Its beautiful, it works for everybody. But using the check card? Not bright.

Oh cmon, I'm not so bad. I can be very charming when I need to be. Your wife would love me.

[Maple Leafs]

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by duckman

Oh, like you two women have never did something deceitful to your husbands before.

Nothing that would harm or jeapordize my marriage...absolutely not.

[Coffee Warlord]

I'm dying to know details now.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by duckman

Oh, like you two women have never did something deceitful to your husbands before.

Not really. Arlie knows what my kinks are, and I don't feel like I need to hide them from him. So long as I keep them away from my son, he's completely supportive. Same thing for him.

Now, if we're talking about buying the purse I've been coveting for a while, and pretending that it's something I've had forever when he comments on it....now that's something else.

[JimmyWint]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

That sounds like a pretty good idea. I am just worried that she will do a google search on the company...then I am Toast.

Sorry about the Spelling OlieGirl!

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

Not really. Arlie knows what my kinks are, and I don't feel like I need to hide them from him. So long as I keep them away from my son, he's completely supportive. Same thing for him.

Now, if we're talking about buying the purse I've been coveting for a while, and pretending that it's something I've had forever when he comments on it....now that's something else.

Great minds think alike!!! You and I would be SO dangerous together!!!! You need to come to Atlanta so we can go shopping

oh - which purse is it????

[Swaggs]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

BRILLIANT!

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

That sounds like a pretty good idea. I am just worried that she will do a google search on the company...then I am Toast.

Sorry about the Spelling OlieGirl!

Not that I want to contribute to your deception - but often times companies like that have legal business names that are different from the names they operate under. The legal name would be what shows up on your statement.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

This will almost definitely work.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

Great minds think alike!!! You and I would be SO dangerous together!!!! You need to come to Atlanta so we can go shopping

oh - which purse is it????

Heh. Arlie and Radii would either have to bail us out of jail, or rent a hotel room to store all of our shopping bags.

It's a Marc Jacobs little number for a paltry $800 or so. He'd skin me alive if I spent that much money on a purse.

[gottimd]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Serious advice: when your wife sees it (assuming the description is vague enough), and asks what it is, just wink and say "oh you'll find out soon enough". Then immediately go out and buy her a gift (with cash) that costs the same as the item. And surprise her with it within 24 hours.

Like more porn?

Seriously though, why would it matter if it was the same cost if you are using cash? I guess by same, you mean in the ballpark of?

This trick in any case would not work on my wife. She would continously guess until I revealed what the gift was without leaving my side. She is very persistent when it comes to spoiling gifts.

[FrogMan]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

Well, for starters I can't stand basketball. Also, it's our cat's name, she's named after the Disney show Rolie Polie Olie.

Way up high
in the Rolie Polie Sky
is a little round planet
of a really swell guy...


Damn, I watch too much of that show...

FM

[SackAttack]

You know, idly, how long did it take FOFC to ferret out the truth here? And we don't know you like your wife (presumably) does.

This could be hilarious popcorn theatre.

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by FrogMan

Way up high
in the Rolie Polie Sky
is a little round planet
of a really swell guy...


Damn, I watch too much of that show...

FM

I miss that show...Anthony outgrew it a few years ago, now it's all SpongeBob, Fairly Oddparents, Jimmy Neutron and Danny Phantom...

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by wade moore

And if it's a gift for her, learn to have some sort of seperate account. i had an ING account that discreetly pulled out money over an extended period of time for the engagement ring.

Yep. I have an account that the wife never accesses or even knows that it exists that is just for her gifts.

[FrogMan]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

I miss that show...Anthony outgrew it a few years ago, now it's all SpongeBob, Fairly Oddparents, Jimmy Neutron and Danny Phantom...

with a 9yo and a 2 1/2yo in the house, we get an odd mix of the two styles

Funny thing is that Andrew (older sibling) doesn't really seem to mind the Rolie Polie time we get right before leaving for school/work/daycare, so it's all good in the house Reason I watch, or hear it so much is that it's also on right after dinner time...

FM

[KevinNU7]

Soooo WHAT WAS IT!

[Pumpy Tudors]

yeah see if i ever post a picture on this internet message board again

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

Yep. I have an account that the wife never accesses or even knows that it exists that is just for her gifts.

Ditto. Well sort of. He knows the accounts exist, just doesn't know how to access them. It's so easy to set accounts up these days we both have our own.

[Lathum]

Is it possible to tell your wife you made the purchase for a friend who doesn't have a credit card and that friend gave you the cash?

[FrogMan]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Is it possible to tell your wife you made the purchase for a friend who doesn't have a credit card and that friend gave you the cash?

once you start these kind of games, you better not get mixed up in your lies or else you're in even bigger trouble...

FM

[FrogMan]

dola, and I'm not saying this because that's my way of dealing with stuff like that. I'm more of the honest kind, that way it's easier to remember what the story is

FM

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by gottimd

Seriously though, why would it matter if it was the same cost if you are using cash? I guess by same, you mean in the ballpark of?

Right, just the ballpark. If your statement says $200, a teddy bear holding a heart will not get the job done.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

That sounds like a pretty good idea. I am just worried that she will do a google search on the company...then I am Toast.

This is why timing is crucial. Don't give her time to doubt you and start poking around.

By the way, a nice side effect is that she's actually feel guilty for doubting you. Feel free to play that card a little -- "Why, honey, what did you think it would be?"

[sabotai]

Here's an idea. Claim you have no idea what it is, and suggest that maybe someone got ahold of your credit card number. Wait a few hours, then tell her that you called the credit card company and said the purchase came from some other state and that your credit card number was either stolen or someone used a credit card number generator and happened to generate your number.

Then go through the process of canceling your cards and getting new ones.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by stevew

She won't go for the 3 way. Give it up.

He'd have better luck this way...

http://www.helpwinthisbet.com/404/

[FrogMan]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

Right, just the ballpark. If your statement says $200, a teddy bear holding a heart will not get the job done.

and if he thinks it will do, i.e. she's not of the brightest kind, then why go to the trouble, she won't ever figure out what's on the bank statement anyway...

FM

[Pumpy Tudors]

Some of those bank statements can be deceiving. My wife has a Ph.D and still hasn't figured out that I have seven Russian brides, two former thoroughbred racehorses with equine STDs, a Portuguese child whom I picked up on the black market, and 5% of the Kansas City Royals. I hope with all my heart that she doesn't find out about those purchases.

[Klinglerware]

You could also try getting the account frozen by going deeply into debt and ignoring subsequent creditor actions. Contributions to known terrorist groups could work too--she'll be so annoyed that your alleged terrorist connections got the account frozen, she'll ignore your porn addiction.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

Some of those bank statements can be deceiving. My wife has a Ph.D and still hasn't figured out that I have seven Russian brides, two former thoroughbred racehorses with equine STDs, a Portuguese child whom I picked up on the black market, and 5% of the Kansas City Royals. I hope with all my heart that she doesn't find out about those purchases.

Is the Portugese kid available at all? Cause I had a good night at the blackjack tables last night.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Is the Portugese kid available at all? Cause I had a good night at the blackjack tables last night.

Sure, I'd be glad to send her over as soon as she's done cutting the grass.

With her jagged little TEETH!

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

Some of those bank statements can be deceiving. My wife has a Ph.D and still hasn't figured out that I have seven Russian brides, two former thoroughbred racehorses with equine STDs, a Portuguese child whom I picked up on the black market, and 5% of the Kansas City Royals. I hope with all my heart that she doesn't find out about the Kansas City Royals.

Woulda been priceless if you'd said it like this.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by Axxon

Woulda been priceless if you'd said it like this.

So true... so true...

[TroyF]

Put the kid in a Royals uniform. He couldn't do any worse than what's there now, and being his legal gaurdian, you'll get his salary.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

Ditto. Well sort of. He knows the accounts exist, just doesn't know how to access them. It's so easy to set accounts up these days we both have our own.

If I told her it existed, she would bug me to tell her how to access it. She LOVES to spoil surprise gifts.

Then again, it is kind of fun when one really surprises her.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Arlie just hides my gifts way up high where I can't reach them. It's not much fun hunting for them if I have to drag the ladder around the house.

[Franklinnoble]

I'm not very good at keeping surprises. I either have to give my wife the gifts early, or buy them at the last possible minute.

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

I want to make sure I don't get busted for making a certain purchase...Anyone have any ideas about how to get an item removed, or to change it? No It has nothing to do with the purchase of Porn...Just thought I would add that before all of the smart remarks start flowing in :-)

No.

It will show up on your bank statement unless you caught it quick enough for them to void the transaction instead of credit your account back (usually same-day). You'll see a charge for it, then a credit for it later. So it will be on your statement TWICE.

Luckily when buying pr0n or stuff like this it shows up on your statement under a different name (IE Sam's Marketing) instead of Back Door Midget Pornfest XXI. Not that I would know or anything ...

So unless your wife is going through it with a fine-tooth comb you don't have to be worried about castration.

[Tigercat]

The key is not to lie but stretch reality in the most rational way possible. If you get caught red handed, act really guilty(as you really are) and say it was a stupid drunken joke(which it pretty much is) and that you feel stupid and bad about it now.

You will get flak, but long term you should survive. Now, if you talk about it like it was a serious decision made and you show no sign of feeling guilty, you are toast.

[Logan]

Originally Posted by KevinNU7

Soooo WHAT WAS IT!

Seriously. The guy has had like 40 posts before this thread. It's not like we know anything about him, where getting this sort of information could come back to haunt him. Just tell us what kind of porn you're into so we can start making fun of you already.

[Greyroofoo]

Real men don't let their wives see credit statements.

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27

If I told her it existed, she would bug me to tell her how to access it. She LOVES to spoil surprise gifts.

Then again, it is kind of fun when one really surprises her.

What's the biggest "suprise" you given her?