Ping: Youth Sports Coaches (Player's Parent Problem)

[Lathum]

Thread necromance

I had a small incident in my first day ever as a coach.

Me and a buddy stepped up to coach our sons t-ball team ( same team, both coaching) since they were lacking in coaches. Kids are 4-5.

First 2 weeks are an hour instruction, no games, then the rest of the schedule is 30 minute practice and 30 minute game. There are 3 diamonds and 6 teams, so each team shares a diamond, 30 minutes in the outfield and 30 minutes on the diamond.

The other teams coach introduced himself and came across as really pushy and a bit of a jerk. I know the other coach as our boys all go to school together.

They started on the infield and we in the outfield, they asked if they could have to tee and I of course oblidged as it only seemed logical since they were on the infield. We did our 30 minutes of practice, throwing, etc...and at the 30 minute mark we switched.

They asked if they could use the tee still. Trying to be nice I said, sure, but only a few minutes since we haven't had it yet.

A few minutes go by and I go to retrieve the tee. At this point the jerky coach says they hadn't had it for long and did fielding drills when they were using the infield. He then points to a bin about 5 fields away and tells me they usually have gear in those bins. I am now annoyed and the parents from both teams are looking over. I inform the guy that we probably could have communicated better, but we were operating under the assumption that the team on the infield would be using the tee, espically since they had asked for it.

At this point the other coach, who I know, says he has one in his car and is happy to grab it, thus diffusing the situation.

I was really annoyed at this guy. I am trying to do the best I can and he is stealing the damn tee and expects to have it the whole time, and them expects me to go hunt one down?

The kids didnt notice, and my wife was likely the only one who really knew how annoyed I was, outside the other coaches, but I dunno, am I out of line here?

[muns]

Hell no you aren't. Being nice isn't always easy when it comes back in your face.

[HerRealName]

Just the first in a long line of assholes that you'll be dealing with .

Actually, I've had great experiences coaching tee ball. Adults typically don't start getting crazy until score is kept.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by muns

Hell no you aren't. Being nice isn't always easy when it comes back in your face.

+1

[Butter]

Had something weird also coaching T-ball.

Our league didn't keep score. You just batted around every inning, you played 3 innings, and that was that.

Except when you played this one team. They wanted to play by "baseball" rules... so you get 3 outs per inning like a normal game. My kids didn't like this. Our parents didn't like this. My other 2 coaches didn't like this. Didn't know what to do, so I went along with it when I shouldn't have. Luckily, my kids played the best game they had played all year, including catching a fly ball for an out (the only time that happened for us all year), so it was respectable.

Clearly, the league stacked all the kids that were "good" on one team, and everyone else was a free-for-all. They were trying to prep this one team at the expense of everyone else that played them having fun. That was my first and last year in that league.

[miami_fan]

Originally Posted by HerRealName

Just the first in a long line of assholes that you'll be dealing with .

Actually, I've had great experiences coaching tee ball. Adults typically don't start getting crazy until score is kept.

So you did not have the father who wanted his 5 year old to hit everything to the opposite field? Yeah he was a joy to have in he stands.

[miami_fan]

I just wanted to send a hearty FU to the basketball coach who today decided to employ a Hack A Shaq strategy in a game involving 7 to 9 year old kids. I hope that tape gets you that interview with the Pelicans that you are gunning for. A--hole!

[Mota]

We had an issue with a player on my son's travel team this year. He would miss games and practices because of other activities. The coach ended up talking to the mom about the commitment that was made at the beginning of the season and that he expected them to follow through on this commitment.

Surprisingly, the parents changed their attitude and the kid's season turned around completely. He was one of the most improved players on the team and made the team once again this season.

Sometimes you have problem parents, but thankfully in this case it was a matter of parents just not understanding the travel team program vs. a regular house league team.

I also had an incident when I was coaching soccer last year with a player who was openly disprespectful to me, and to the other players on the team. He would not follow positional orders and would just run up and play forward while he was defense. We ended up putting him in net for the 2nd half every time he would disobey us. It humbled him a bit and we did see SOME turnaround. Most importantly we met the kid's dad, and understand why the kid was that way. He was super rich and thought he was better than everybody else. Now his kid also believes that he was better than everybody else and did not need to respect his teammates and follow orders.

With both of these stories, it goes to show how much parents have to do with the kids success. We can say whatever we want about a 10 year old kid, but about 90% of the time it's really a reflection of the parents just as much as the kid.

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by Mota

With both of these stories, it goes to show how much parents have to do with the kids success. We can say whatever we want about a 10 year old kid, but about 90% of the time it's really a reflection of the parents just as much as the kid.

Interesting conclusion. Initially I couldn't directly relate to either of your stories, yet in retrospect realize how true your conclusion is.

A possible exception to the rule being kids of divorced parents that don't go along well. I remember a girl that was obviously bounced around back and forth. To me it felt like both parents were trying to win the divorce by telling me how the other parent and new partner had forced the kid to play sports, yet how they were unable to make time to make the kid commit to playing games. In talks with both, I tried to emphasize the girl's enjoyment being the most important thing, to no avail. All in all, it was one of the most discouraging things I had to witness as a youth coach.

[Mota]

Yes, for sure MIJB!

Last season I was given a challenge at the beginning of the soccer season. A mom came up to me saying that if players were rated from A-D, her son was an F. He played a few years back and quit after 2 games because he hated it. I told her that my goal for the season was to make sure he had a fun season.

He ended up still being one of the worst players in the league, but from encouragement and motivation, he had one of the biggest smiles on the field, in games or practices. I loved his enthusiasm, no matter what the score was.

This spring I was walking to the field for a game and his mom came up to one of my friends and said that I was her son's favorite coach ever. Whether that's true or not, I don't know, but the kid was back on the field again this season, still with a huge smile on his face. That's all a coach can really ask for.