01-03-2007, 12:46 PM | #51 | ||
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Sorry to hear that but i think you did what you had too, showing real strength as it must be a really hard decision to take. Don't feel guilty, you didn't left your wife even if that feeling crosses your mind, you are doing the right thing to get her healed. You both are in my thoughts.
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01-03-2007, 12:53 PM | #52 |
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Chin up my freind...things will get better.
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01-03-2007, 12:56 PM | #53 |
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This just sounds very difficult and the only thing I can offer is I had a friend who went though a similar situation. He was very hyper and went for days without sleeping. He made huge lists and large plans how he was going to start his own company and he'd get REAL happy. Then boom, he'd get real depressed. He was maniac depressive they found out and was bi-polar. They gave him medicine to balance him out and he's doing quite well. I also recall when the Raiders played the Buccaners in the SuperBowl that the center for Oakland took off and had a huge medical problem similar to this. He never played again.
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01-03-2007, 12:57 PM | #54 | |
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Quote:
It is not that uncommon, although it is somewhat of a bad pronostic factor, for someone with mania to get a very good night sleep aided by benzodiazepenes or other hypnotics and still have significant-severe mania the next day. However, several studies have shown that sleep (even medication induced sleep) is the most important factor in stopping a manic episode. I'd encourage you to be a strong advocate and insist on talking to the psychiatrist ASAP. If the psychiatrist doesn't get back to you byt the end of the day, I would be calling frequently pushing to speak to him/her. |
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01-03-2007, 12:59 PM | #55 |
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Absolutely horrible news, Todd. I'll have you and your family in my prayers tonight.
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01-03-2007, 01:06 PM | #56 |
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Hope everything works out for you, your wife and your daughter. It sounds like you made the best decision for her, and I am sure she will understand once things settle down.
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01-03-2007, 01:17 PM | #57 |
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My heart goes out to you. I'm adding you and your family to my prayers.
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01-03-2007, 01:18 PM | #58 |
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I can't imagine how hard it was, but it absolutely sounds like you're doing the right things to take care of here. Stay strong and positive -- hang and there and best wishes.
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01-03-2007, 01:49 PM | #59 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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You are a strong husband and parent to make such a tough decision like this. Hopefully she can get some treatment and rest, so that she can have a speedy recovery. Thoughts are with you.
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01-03-2007, 01:49 PM | #60 |
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My wife is bipolar, so I hear where you're coming from. Your family is in my prayers, Todd.
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01-03-2007, 01:53 PM | #61 | |
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Yes, definitely be the squeaky wheel (a nice squeaky wheel, but squeaky nonetheless). And good luck to you and your family with this. |
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01-03-2007, 01:55 PM | #62 |
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Sounds like you are doing a brave, excellent job in dealing with a nightmare situation. I hope they find a way to help.
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01-03-2007, 02:25 PM | #63 |
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My thoughts are with you and your family. I hope everything turns out well.
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01-03-2007, 02:26 PM | #64 |
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Sorry to hear this. I hope everything turns out okay.
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01-03-2007, 02:59 PM | #65 |
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Todd sorry to hear this.
My family went through something similar a couple of years ago when my sisters ex husband commited suicide. Allthough the situation is different at some point my family had to make the descion to hospitilize her for her safety and her children. I understand what you are going through and you without a doubt made the correct descion. My sister is doing much better and I am sure your wife will rebound to her own self. |
01-03-2007, 03:23 PM | #66 |
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Sorry to hear about your wife. I hope she has a speedy recovery.
I don't know if your work provides it or not, but, some employers cover mental wellness and can recomend perhaps a facility better suited for her condition. Sounds like a red flag with what that nurse said.
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01-03-2007, 03:34 PM | #67 |
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I hope your wife has a speedy recovery.
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01-03-2007, 03:48 PM | #68 |
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I cannot imagine how I would fare in your exact position. You are a much stronger person than I. One can only hope that this is a turning point for better things for both you and your daughter.
Best of luck.
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01-03-2007, 04:02 PM | #69 |
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Todd,
You, your wife, and daughter are in my thoughts. I am amazed by the strength you are showing. Honestly when I stop and look at it, my wife is the gel that keeps our family running, not sure what i woudl do in your situation. God Bless, and I pray life returns to normal ASAP |
01-03-2007, 04:03 PM | #70 |
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Sorry to hear this. You and your family are definitely in my thoughts and prayers.
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01-03-2007, 04:29 PM | #71 |
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Man........you made the right decision. Hope it all works out and your wife and family can make a speedy and full recovery. Thoughts and prayers.
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01-03-2007, 04:33 PM | #72 |
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hope everything works out, TZ. that's a heartbreaking story.
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01-03-2007, 04:41 PM | #73 |
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yes, amazingly heartbreaking and sad. Good luck with it, hang in there.
FM
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01-03-2007, 04:43 PM | #74 |
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Wow sorry to hear that Todd. Hang in there you did the right thing for your family which is what is most important. My prayers are with all of you.
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01-03-2007, 05:45 PM | #75 |
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Join Date: Oct 2000
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I feel for you. I myself am Bi-polar and it had led to a lot of hardships in my life. With the right combo of meds and therapy, she will get a lot better. I would suggest perhaps getting her to a psychiatric hospital. Ive been in them 5 times over the last year, and it is a good place to get meds worked on in a safe enviroment. Good luck, and its great to see you being so patient with her, many people see mental illness as a major stigma, and would have left long ago. Your in my prayers.
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01-03-2007, 07:12 PM | #76 |
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Wow... I pray for your wife that she is able to put things back together and overcome this.
God Bless your family. |
01-03-2007, 08:20 PM | #77 |
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Best of luck. If it is not to personal, please keep us updated.
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01-03-2007, 08:30 PM | #78 |
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God bless, and stay strong for your family. They need you and you've made them proud already.
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01-03-2007, 09:25 PM | #79 |
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Wow, Todd..
Hang in there, I'll be thinking of you and yours/trying to send some good vibes on the relatively short trip. I think you made the right decision, I hope that she gets the treatment she needs. /tk
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01-03-2007, 09:44 PM | #80 |
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It's been a very long hard arduous day. She's had access to a telephone and has made perhaps 100-150 hone calls to various people and places today. I've received about 50 of them. Each one is different, each one is from a different state of her mind.
Medically, she has been seen by a psychiatrist - whom I talked to at great length today - and the doctor is of the opinion that she is bipolar manic depressive and suffering delusions. The doctors want her to start taking two medications immediately - Depakote and Zyprexa (ping: EF27) - but she steadfastly refuses. Nothing I say has been able to even make her budge. This issue - putting her on medication - appears to be the single biggest issue in her life, and at the moment she appears to be willing to give everything up. Conditions and attitudes and situations change frequently - I was able to visit her for an hour tonight and the roller coaster ride was fast and furious - but another day ends and there is no end in sight. I cannot allow her to return home without a proper evaluation and a course of treatment, so at this point I don't know when or if my daughter will ever see her mom again. |
01-03-2007, 09:52 PM | #81 |
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I can't even begin to imagine the difficulty of your situation Todd, but know that you are doing absolutely the right things and that you are in our thoughts, hoping that things turn out OK for you and your family. Stay strong.
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01-03-2007, 10:04 PM | #82 | ||
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Quote:
Hang in there. From what I know (from the sociology side of the fence from several of my college courses, one specifically in mental illness) the refusal to take medication is not at all foreign. Even if not in a manic state or whatever, on level days many people have a hard time accepting taking medication to alter their behavior. And this is even people who have accepted that they are sick, which it seems like perhaps your wife has not? I'm just saying I think this is a pretty normal stage and I wouldn't let it in itself discourage you too much. When I can get into my library (it's in the bedroom and my fiance is asleep) I want to grab a couple of books to recommend you reading as you go through this process. Rather than highly technical psychiatry books they are a little lighter and from the sociology perspective or actually memoirs from folks going through similar situations - might give you a good perspective on what she is going through and maybe realize that what she's going through in these early stages is not uncommon - but is generally a phase that will pass.
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01-03-2007, 10:05 PM | #83 |
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You have me glued to this thread Todd, please keep us updated.
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01-03-2007, 10:08 PM | #84 |
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Hang in there Todd. As everyone has said, you ARE doing the right thing, no matter how hard it is. If you need any help, I'm right down the road and would be happy to help out any way I can, even if it's doing yardwork or the other little things that need to be taken care of so you can spend more time with your daughter or at the hospital. Just let me know.
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01-03-2007, 10:11 PM | #85 |
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Damn...with the latest news, it is difficult for me to suggest that you must keep your hopes high. In fact, I can't offer any kind of advice in this manner. I just hope that someone here has a relative, friend, acquaintance that has gone through a similar situation and can offer advice in way of alternatives.
It is my hope that in some way, there is a chance that you find a solution or something close to it. Just keep doing what you are doing and stay as solid as you can. Hopefully there will be something that helps the situation. Good luck and take care.
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01-03-2007, 10:16 PM | #86 |
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Sorry about the situation, I hope they are able to help her.
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01-03-2007, 10:19 PM | #87 |
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TZ...I hope things workout for the best for you, your daughter, and your wife. You are all in my prayers.
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01-03-2007, 10:20 PM | #88 |
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Todd, how old is your daughter? How is she taking it?
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01-03-2007, 10:20 PM | #89 |
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Good luck, Todd - you're in my thoughts and prayers as well.
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01-03-2007, 10:27 PM | #90 |
College Benchwarmer
Join Date: Jan 2001
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You might end up having to sell your house and buy another.
This happened to a friend of mine, as long as they lived in the negative environment they were basket cases. Once they sold their house and moved into a new one, they immediately got much better. Matter of fact, just listing the house helped them as they no longer felt like it was "their house", so they did not feel quite as violated. |
01-03-2007, 10:29 PM | #91 |
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wow todd. truly unfortunate news. you and yours will be in my thoughts in the coming days. i've had several acquaintences who were bipolar, and it can definately be a struggle, but with medication she ought to be able to return to something approaching her old self.
question for EF27...is this likely some sort of temporary manic/bipolar episode brought on by the break-in that is likely to pass, or is it more likely that it triggered something that was latent that will remain? I know you obviously can't comment on the specifics of TZ's wife's case, but how common/uncommon would a temporary episode be versus something that was latent being revealed and sticking around? |
01-03-2007, 10:31 PM | #92 |
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Best of Luck ToddZ. You are in my prayers.
Thanks for the update. Stick to your guns, and above all listen to the doctors. This is really one of those times when there is no such things as a stupid question. If something the doctor says or does doesn't make sense, ask about it. Take your time, and keep your wits about you when you are talking with the doctor. It will help keep you sane, as you will have information rather than questions. Good Luck |
01-03-2007, 10:33 PM | #93 |
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Todd -- I think wademoore makes a very good point about this being a pretty common stage for a lot of manics (and some with other disorders), try not to let it get you down too much further than the situation surely already has.
FWIW, in very layman's terms, both Depakote & Zyprexa are used in cases like this as mood stabilizers. I can't add anything about the latter, it's use for this purpose is relatively new, but from my own experience I can say that Depakote is pretty good stuff.
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01-03-2007, 10:38 PM | #94 |
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This has to be one of the toughest situations anyone could face, but I too believe you are taling the right course of action, and echo many others that it took a lot of courage. Hang in there and god bless you and your family.
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01-03-2007, 10:51 PM | #95 |
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Lesley is 4, will be 5 in February. She's got CP and so is behind her peers physically and developmentally, but she's a bright fun kid. When her little sister dies almost 2 years ago, Lesley had just turned 3 and it was - predictably - devastating. Because of that, separation anxiety has always been a very big issue for Lesley. It isn't always an issue - she will let us leave her with a babysitter sometimes - but at other times me just getting up from the dinner table to go get something from another room causes her to panic. This case has been different so far. Lesley knows Mommy isn't at home - the therapist we took Lesley to when Cassie died told me yesterday the best way to handle the situation is to avoid using the terms and phrases we used for Cassandra when she had to go to the hospital. So we tell Lesley that her Mom isn't feeling well and she's seeing a doctor (avoiding "sick" and "hospital" at all costs). Once in a while Lesley will ask "Where'd Mommy go?" but for the most part she seems content to be with me and my mom. Lesley is a creature of habit, so we are sticking to her routine as closely as possible - she still goes to daycare and pre-school even though I'm off from work this week.
I think this hasn't affected Lesley as much because for the past 2 weeks, Mommy wasn't acting like Mommy usually acts. Lesley had been getting really nervous around my wife and was becoming scared - very much so the last few days which is the main reason I decided to have my wife removed from the house. Lesley is also very empathetic, and I know she can tell that I'm stressed out and I'm pretty sad, so just like I am trying to be extra nice to her, she has been even more of an angel to me. |
01-03-2007, 10:53 PM | #96 | |
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Quote:
Everything you've said makes me think of patients that have Bipolar with psychotic features (which can be just delusions.) In this case, it sounds like she is in the manic phase which is many ways the most difficult to treat. Many patients with Bipolar refuse to take medications when they are manic because it feels like being on the greatest high, or so they have told me and coming down from that can be very tough. It is extremely common for patients with a first break of mania to refuse medication for days or even in some cases weeks. Furthermore, patients that are manic aren't in their right mind and don't listen to reason from family members which can be maddening to them. I'd urge you to continue to be supportive, which I'm sure you are already doing, and continue to talk to her doctors. As far as the ping regarding those specific medications. Speaking in hypothetical generalities, for a patient who has Bipolar with psychotic features, that is a very common and a good combination. Depakote is considered a first line drug for Bipolar disorder and can be used in treating the acute phase of the illness as well as a maintainence drug to reduce reoccurences. The biggest drawbacks to the drug are the rare chance of hepatic damage/failure and pancreatic damage. More common side effects include weight gain, upset stomach, among others. I'd urge you to read all literature. However, in general, Lithium which is the other first line treatment for maintainence of Bipolar has even more side effects including risk of Kidney failure with long term use, cardiac issues, and other issues (tremor, weight gain, thyroid issues, etc.) Again speaking of hypothetical general patients, Zyprexa is a very good antipsychotic that I would only ever use in the acute phase of mania. It's very good for that because it is very good at inducing sleep. I generally don't use it long term anymore (although some psychiatrists do) in part because there are a lot of lawyers suing over its use and it causing metabolic syndrome which is a combination of weight gain, diabetes, elevated cholesterol, and elevated triglycerides. The data shows that in many patients Zyprexa does cause weight gain and it may cause diabetes independent of the weight gain. In short, if this was my wife in this situation from the facts I know, those two medications would probably be the exact treatment I would want the psychiatrist who was treating her to be using. However, I would want her outpatient psychiatrist to get her off the Zyprexa within a short period of time and onto another antipsychotic if any was even needed. Frequently, once the mania is stabilized, no antipsychotic is needed. However, I'm just offering hypothetical information, and I'd strongly urge you to address any questions you have to your wife's treating psychiatrist. It sounds like he/she knows what they are doing.
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01-03-2007, 10:59 PM | #97 | |
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Great, great information. You're a wonderful resource, EF. |
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01-03-2007, 11:07 PM | #98 |
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and a heck of a nice guy.
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01-03-2007, 11:12 PM | #99 |
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Todd, my heart truly goes out to you. My eyes are welled up with tears right now just thinking of what you must be going through. This isn't something I normally talk about (not even to my dear husband) and I never mentioned this to anyone on the board but, my dad has what your wife has and he has been taking medication since he was a kid. At one point he stopped taking them and he went pretty nuts. So nuts in fact that he was found wandering around and eventually ended up in a psychiatric hospital.
Anyway, long story short, he also refused to take medication (Depakote, just like your wife) but once he realized what my mom, sister and everyone out there (at the time we lived in Phoenix) went through, he decided to take it and it made a WORLD of difference. You're a very courageous and caring person to do what you did. When I found out what happened to my dad, I froze and cried; I couldn't possibly do what you did, major kudos to you. Like I mentioned earlier, my heart goes out to you and I'm hoping for the best. Good luck and I'm keeping my eye on this thread. |
01-03-2007, 11:14 PM | #100 |
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That is a shitload of really great information and advice. I feel much much better about where I am in the process and where my wife is headed in the process thanks to what you wrote. Thank you so very very much!
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