Is It Just A Crush? Is It More? Do You Guys Really Want To Hear This Stuff?

[Solecismic]

Hope this doesn't wind up above the fold...

Matt, I don't like the idea of friendship flowers. There are alterior motives. There's a fine line between harassing behavior and indicating once that you like someone for more than friendship. You know that line, and you won't cross it.

She will respect you far more in the long run if you're direct. Don't pussy-foot around with ideas like this that technically could be correct, but aren't really what you mean.

She will be hurt if she thinks you feigned friendship just to try and get in her pants. You are also more likely to remain her friend, long-term, if you are direct. And if she shoots you down, don't whine about it, and tell her you value her friendship as well and won't bring it up again. "Oh, I'll get over it, life isn't a John Hughes movie, after all."

I've had this happen to me, in the reverse, and I was very insulted when all of a sudden I lost a friend because she had apparently harbored a crush for about a year, then couldn't handle it when I told her I didn't want to date her. All of a sudden, I lost a friend as well (I suppose it would have helped not having just broken up with a female friend of hers when she pounced).

Women do appreciate subtlety, but they appreciate honesty even more. Don't worry about the other guy. It's her decision. If you're honest with her, it will help her make the correct decision, whatever that may be.

[Chief Rum]

Jim, I see where you're coming from, and thanks for sharing your opinion there. And perhaps I am just being delusional, but so you know, I honestly feel I am sending these flowers for the right reasons. My real reason is because of how she helped me deal with this trial. It is to tell her how much I treasure her friendship.

I like to think I would do so no matter who helped me or how I actually felt about them. Obviously, I wouldn't send flowers to a guy (were my friend such), but you get the point. I honestly am not sending these to get in her pants--I have a heartfelt desire to express to her how much what she did meant to me, and that is all. I thought flowers were a nice touch (we're the kind of office that gives flowers for birthdays, for instance).

Basically, as I have revealed here, in the long term I may have another message. But that doesn't mean this one isn't also exactly what I want to say. The other message I will give to her when and if I can at the appropriate time.

You're talking to a guy who went and got a Valentine's Day card for a woman in the office who said she didn't have a Valentine, just because. And she was one I had no interest in whatsoever. I just sometimes do things like that for friends.

I am hoping that is exactly how the flowers come across, because that's really how I intend it.

[sachmo71]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

Thanks, Chris. I believe Coug's advice is sound, and is the way I am leaning. But I have found some value in pretty much every post in this thread, so I feel I must constantly re-evaluate.

As for the major life changes of a relationship, are you talking about allr elationships or this one specifically? My guess is you are referring to the working with her issue and the her devotion to God, and you are right that dealing with those would be major. But I have always felt that if you felt strongly enough, you do what it takes to make it work. So I am prepared to accept that, come what may.

I believe every major relationship is this way, to be honest.

CR

Well, in all relationships there are trade offs, but you have to evaluate the trade off. If you know it's real, then it's hard to put a price on it. But if there are any doubts, I would make sure that I explored them fully before laying my cards on the table. Seems like you are going that direction anyway, so things should work out well. I'm hoping they do!

[Tekneek]

Originally Posted by BigJohn&TheLions

Unfortunatly, I had confided in the pastor of my church. He told his wife, who worked in another department (she got me the job.) Apparantly she was nice enough to spread gossip that had nothing to do with her.

Your Pastor and his wife spread this around? Isn't that some sort of ethical violation?

Now on to Chief Rum...all I can say is that I have let lots of those types of 'opportunities' get away from me in my life, but thankfully a couple times I felt I had to make a move, sink or swim, and take what is coming. The first time I reached that sort of point, I went on to have a 2.5 year relationship that was wonderful, although it ended quite badly (badly because of how I handled it, with lots of alcohol and public confrontations before I really realized it was over for good). The second time, I ended up in a relationship that is still going strong almost 9 years later (married for 5.5 years, son that is 4, and a baby on the way for October). My only point is that sometimes you've got to take the chance. You have to roll the dice. If she shoots that down, but remains friends...you haven't really lost anything, and she might think about it for a while and decide you're the one. If it blows up, then you've learned something that will help you going forward. Like anything else, you don't get better at this without practice...and you can't be afraid of being out if you want to get some hits too.

[paperstreetsoap]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

I would definitely say don't get involved with her when you are working so closely with her. I agree with kcchief's advice about being her friend. Let your life calm down and get it where you want it to be, and then after 6 months or a year, revisit the situation and see if you still feel the same way. If you do, then you will at least have some time in at this job and could possibly transfer to another department so you are at least not working directly with each other every day, or start interviewing at other companies if you think it's worth it to pursue a relationship with her. But with your life at the point it is right now, you need to find your place in the world before you try to find your true love.

Congrats on everything working out!

6 months to a year? I fantasize, think, and have girls on my mind for the majority of my day. Asking Matt to put off one chick, who he is in contact with for a large part of his daily life, is quite a reach. IMO.

[Chief Rum]

Hey guys,

I am back from my weekend trip to Arizona. It was nice to get away, and I was amazed how much seems to be going on out there.

But now I am back to the grind. I switched from delivered flowers to just flowers from the store (I will bring them in with me), in a vase with a card. Much cheaper, but probably more heartfelt and less likely to cause a scandal at work (I walk in before just about everyone, so they will be on her desk before too many people realize who brought them in ).

As usual, getting away from it all always helps (although ask me all this again after spending a day with her again tomorrow). I still like her, think about her a lot and only wish she is happy, but I am more back to letting what comes what may.

I don't think I will be telling her soon, although the reason is because of the timing with her ex getting into the picture, and because of work, not because I am too riled up to do it. If things change/clear up, I might go for it, but I'm, not sure it's a good idea right now at all.

I always decided I am fine with however this works out and remaining her friend, but like I said above, ask me again tomorrow after I give her these flowers and spend that day working with her.

CR

[samifan24]

This sounds like an incredibly tough situation and I hope your news is "good" news tomorrow.I hope the flowers go over well. Good luck with everything!

[BishopMVP]

I'm in college, not a work environment, but absent that aspect I went through a similar situation a couple months ago. Some girl I met last fall who was breaking up with her boyfriend, hung out/talked with her a little then but more over the winter. Heard a lot about the ex-boyfriend and think I helped her there as a friend, getting her through that situation. She said things like she didn't want a boyfriend for a while, but kind of in a fuck the last guy way. I kind of liked her, but figured just be a friend all that. Unfortunately, as the weeks went by, I started to like her more to the point where I wasn't looking for other girls at all. So late one night she said something along the lines of "We always talk about me, what about you?" I tried deflecting it but we ended up in a long, really awkward (for me) conversation where I'd beat around the bush but avoid saying anything explicit. Felt like shit that night and thinking it over decided, even though the answer'd probably be no, I should just go for it. (There have been a few girls in the past I've really liked, but never told any of them, and always regretted it some.) So the next night I tried hanging out with her some, but she had something with a sorority so I went to a different party with friends. Ended up seeing her after I got back, and since we were alone in a room (and I was 8-10 deep I'd guess) figured then was as good a time as any. So I said it in about as direct a manner as possible, and it was basically a "That's sweet, but I just don't want a boyfriend right now." Any real deeper conversation at that point kind of was missed as other people came back in and I didn't feel like pushing the conversation. Felt great the next day, as there was no regret and I could just move on and not have her in the back of my mind. Talked to her about it a couple days later online and basically said, don't worry about it, still want to be friends. It's been over a month now I'd guess, from the friendship standpoint, we're still friends but she hasn't talked to me about her ex at all or anything along those lines, so I guess we're not as close there. Personally, it's been great. No wondering what could have been, or secretly hoping that she'd see what a good guy I am and jump into my arms. Last week, she hooked up with one of my other friends, and instead of being unhappy about it, or regretting that I didn't make any move I hope it works out between them.

I figured I'd lay that out there on its own instead of trying to relate it all back to your situation, since although comparable in some aspects, is only one situation and so I'd be basing anything I told you off that small a sample size. But, and I'm not sure how similar you'd be, the only thing that made the feelings go away was putting them out in the open. Willing them away wasn't working, but once they were out there it was up to her and I could live without any stress. It's clearly not the best situation, but there are possible worst-case scenarios either way. BigJohn pointed out some if you were rejected, but if you just hold the feelings inside what if she ends up with the ex-bf and you're there as a friend at least partly secretly hoping they fail. You'll probably feel like an asshole and it'll make things awkward around her. Or what if you end up in a situation with a different girl where it starts headed toward a relationship but you've still got unresolved feelings for this current girl? Again, you'll probably feel like an asshole because you'd be dishonest in that relationship. So, I mean it's up to you, but I say go for it. In a more tactful manner than I did, but at least enough to figure out for sure that she's not interested so you can move on in that regard if she's not interested. Maybe there's even a way to do that without her catching on. If it's meant to be, it will, but only if you stop holding yourself back. If it wasn't, might as well find out now. Allow your faith to guide you.

[Chief Rum]

I figure at least some of you are curious, so here's how everything went down.

I brought in the flowers and a card before she got into work. It was kinda funny because I had set the card far apart from the flowers, which I had tried to place "out of the way" (I knew where she tended to keep her paperwork and things, so I wanted to put it in a place where it wouldn't be in the way). So she didn't connect the card and flowers right away. She thanked me for the card, but I had to point out the flowers were from me as well, lol.

In any case, that wasn't exactly a Hallmark moment, but she definitely liked the flowers when she realized they weren't just left there by someone over the weekend (she actually said that's what she thought happened). She thanked me a couple more times throughout the day and made other comments that seemed to me that she was pretty pleased with the gift.

I still don't know how this will all end up, and I still believe she is making the decision to return to her ex, but it was a good day overall. We spent a lot of time joking around and making each other laugh (which is what we do when we're on a good role with each other).

When you're in the middle of dumb things like this, it's amazing the stuff you think about as mattering. For instance, she's not a "toucher", a girl who expresses herself too often by actually physically touching people (as opposed to the hugging types, which are guys' favorites ). But she did spontaneously do a couple of those sort of things (scratched my back in passing, patted me on the knee, etc.), and I have seen more of this in the past couple weeks. It almost certainly means nothing-- maybe just more comfortable with me (not that we were distant two weeks ago), but when you like someone, stupid stuff like that, you notice it. So that went pretty well.

I am somewhere in the middle of where I was last night and Friday night. That is, I am still very interested, but still willing to let things play out with her ex, and comfortable that we may never get that chance.

I am planning to ask her to "hang out" tomorrow (meaning I will ask her tomorrow, for some date in the near future). We have talked about doing some things like golfing or watching my favorite movie (she hasn't seen it), so I figured I would ask her if she wanted to get together to do something like that.

I'm sure I sound just like some dumb puppy harping on the details, but that's the kind of thing you think about at times like these (as any guys here in this same situation will know).

CR

[Franklinnoble]

Dude... from the sounds of it, she's left the door open for you. I see plenty of subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints there... she's saying "you're a nice guy... you went out on a limb... I get it... and I'm cool with it." If she weren't interested, there'd be much awkwardness. But she's dropping hints like HA is dropping 5 year olds... that means, basically, she wants to ride your jock.

The Ladies' Man recommends you do it in the butt.

[JasonC23]

Don't keep us in suspense...what is your favorite movie??

[Suicane75]

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Dude... from the sounds of it, she's left the door open for you. I see plenty of subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints there... she's saying "you're a nice guy... you went out on a limb... I get it... and I'm cool with it." If she weren't interested, there'd be much awkwardness. But she's dropping hints like HA is dropping 5 year olds... that means, basically, she wants to ride your jock.

The Ladies' Man recommends you do it in the butt.

I wouldn't be so sure. I think CR is taking the right approach. You can never tell with a girl, i'm sure we've all been in situations where we thought the signal was clear only to get cock blocked by reality.

[JasonC23]

Dude, just take her to McDonald's and explain how men are like McGriddles.

[Blackadar]

I'm with Jim (my gosh, did I really say that?) - don't pussyfoot around. Ask her out and tell you how you feel - or don't. Don't ask her to "hang out". My $.02...

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Blackadar

I'm with Jim (my gosh, did I really say that?) - don't pussyfoot around. Ask her out and tell you how you feel - or don't. Don't ask her to "hang out". My $.02...

Blackadar, I think if it was a girl I didn't work with, I would follow your advice. The work element makes it a lot more difficult to make that decision, though, you know? I want to do exactly what you and Jim are suggesting, but there is more at stake than whether I score or strike out.

BTW, my favorite movie is Shawshenk Redemption. When she told me she hadn't seen it, I think I made a face like Chevy Chase makes to that blonde chick at the end of Fletch when she says she doesn't like basketball.

I don't think it's time for the McGriddles approach yet. For one thing, she's a vegetarian.

I talked with her today about doing something together outside of work, and she said that would be fun. We're probably going to be talking more details tonight on the phone.

I'll let you guys know if anything comes of it.

[Ksyrup]

Originally Posted by JasonC23

Dude, just take her to McDonald's and explain how men are like McGriddles.

...how men are like a McGriddles.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Dude... from the sounds of it, she's left the door open for you. I see plenty of subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints there... she's saying "you're a nice guy... you went out on a limb... I get it... and I'm cool with it." If she weren't interested, there'd be much awkwardness. But she's dropping hints like HA is dropping 5 year olds... that means, basically, she wants to ride your jock.

The Ladies' Man recommends you do it in the butt.

LMAO...you see, now I have to decide if you're serious (and right) or if you wrote all that just to drop your signature line.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

For one thing, she's a vegetarian.

Ugh, oh geez....good luck with that one....



(I couldn't imagine going out with a vegitarian. All the ones I have known in my life have been.....undateable)

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Ugh, oh geez....good luck with that one....



(I couldn't imagine going out with a vegitarian. All the ones I have known in my life have been.....undateable)

I don't know I could have before, either, but she doesn't go nuts trying to call people eating meat around her, and has even made efforts to try and fix dinners with meat in them for past boyfriends. It's not like a "I can't believe you eat meat" stance, so much as a "I don't like meat, so I don't eat it, but you do what you want" stance.

I still limit my meat-eating when we lunch together, though.

I think I would go nuts, though, if she were Vegan. She loves eggs and cheese and other things like that, though, so no problems there.

[Swaggs]

I used to go out with a vegetarian. She was a cheap date.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

I used to go out with a vegetarian. She was a cheap date.

Happy Birthday, Swaggs.

[Archer219]

Read through all this. Good stuff if I do say so. A couple thoughts, take 'em or leave 'em:

- Understand that if you end up in a relationship with this girl and it doesn't work out for some reason, you two will not be the same friends you were before it started (if you are friends at all). You need to figure out if her presence in your life is important, and know that some people are just meant to brighten each other's days as friends and nothing more. I have a very good friend, Jenna, who makes me feel this way, but I'd never go further because what we have is important to me and I don't want to screw that up.

- How long has she been debating this ex-boyfriend thing? I've seen it used before as a ploy to attract other men by women, based on the theory that guys want what seems unattainable.

- Obviously you might not have a chance to do this, but I suggest spending some time away from her, where you don't see or talk to her everyday. A lot of people start getting feelings for people they work with just because they see them 40+ hours a week and are familiar with them. If you spend a week without talking to her and you still have those feelings, then you've got something.

- Good way to figure out your feelings: go on a date with someone else you're attracted to. If you miss this girl during that date, you've got strong feelings.

That's all I got for now. Congrats on everything, and good luck. I know this board helped me out about 3 years ago or so when I was going through some girl troubles, so hopefully something I said returned the favor.

[BigJohn&TheLions]

Originally Posted by Tekneek

Your Pastor and his wife spread this around? Isn't that some sort of ethical violation?

Yup. But that's minor in comparison to the him getting a church member to co-sign on a car loan, then never making a payment. He also borrowed the same guy's truck and blew the trans, then told the guy to get it out of his yard or he's have it towed. When another member asked him about it it almost resorted in fisticuffs. The church went under and he got a high ranking position with Promise Keepers.

I didn't mean to threadjack. So Rummy, any news???

[Solecismic]

My wife's a vegetarian. Never got in the way at all. The only unusual part of it is that we both usually cook dinner together, because we never eat exactly the same meal. She's not one of those veggie-lovers who whines if someone else has a steak and potatoes at the same table.

Trust me on this one, walking by and scratching your back is not normal friend behavior. It's an invitation. But if you continue to ignore it, you'll either offend her, or she'll start introducing you to her male friends - and I'm not talking poker buddies (more like pokehim buddies). Just play it smooth and unaggressive, but at some point for a brief moment, you'll need to take a bit of a chance.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Archer219

Read through all this. Good stuff if I do say so. A couple thoughts, take 'em or leave 'em:

- Understand that if you end up in a relationship with this girl and it doesn't work out for some reason, you two will not be the same friends you were before it started (if you are friends at all). You need to figure out if her presence in your life is important, and know that some people are just meant to brighten each other's days as friends and nothing more. I have a very good friend, Jenna, who makes me feel this way, but I'd never go further because what we have is important to me and I don't want to screw that up.

- How long has she been debating this ex-boyfriend thing? I've seen it used before as a ploy to attract other men by women, based on the theory that guys want what seems unattainable.

- Obviously you might not have a chance to do this, but I suggest spending some time away from her, where you don't see or talk to her everyday. A lot of people start getting feelings for people they work with just because they see them 40+ hours a week and are familiar with them. If you spend a week without talking to her and you still have those feelings, then you've got something.

- Good way to figure out your feelings: go on a date with someone else you're attracted to. If you miss this girl during that date, you've got strong feelings.

That's all I got for now. Congrats on everything, and good luck. I know this board helped me out about 3 years ago or so when I was going through some girl troubles, so hopefully something I said returned the favor.

Terrific read, Archer. There is a lot of good stuff in this thread, but Ihave to admit yours is one of the better ones I have read. I think there are a ton of good ideas here.

The friend thing is tough. I do care for her very much as a friend, but I have had other friends like this (guys and girls) with whom I have drifted apart, and I just still keep chugging along. As much as I like her as a friend, would I risk that for a relationship? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I would.

I don't think she's playing off the ex on me, although that's certainly a theory I can understand and see it being valid for many, if not most women, even. I just don't see it in her. Even before we were friends, she always talked about honesty, and she is an ardent Christian. She doesn't strike me as someone who plays games.

I definitely think getting away from her for a bit is a good idea, but as you noted, that's not really an option right now.

I'm working on getting another date or two, and testing that theory in the last paragraph. I'll tell you how that goes.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by BigJohn&TheLions

Yup. But that's minor in comparison to the him getting a church member to co-sign on a car loan, then never making a payment. He also borrowed the same guy's truck and blew the trans, then told the guy to get it out of his yard or he's have it towed. When another member asked him about it it almost resorted in fisticuffs. The church went under and he got a high ranking position with Promise Keepers.

I didn't mean to threadjack. So Rummy, any news???

Nothing new to report. We were supposed to talk on the phone tonight, but a friend dropped in unannounced (on her). I thought it was a good sign that she thought to call me just to tell me we couldn't talk tonight (and, yes, I told her I liked that she did that, too).

I'll probably see if I can get something going on with an out-of-work get-together tomorrow.

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

She loves eggs and cheese and other things like that, though, so no problems there.

Ah, a lover of eggs and cheese. Her coolness points have been restored.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Solecismic

My wife's a vegetarian. Never got in the way at all. The only unusual part of it is that we both usually cook dinner together, because we never eat exactly the same meal. She's not one of those veggie-lovers who whines if someone else has a steak and potatoes at the same table.

Trust me on this one, walking by and scratching your back is not normal friend behavior. It's an invitation. But if you continue to ignore it, you'll either offend her, or she'll start introducing you to her male friends - and I'm not talking poker buddies (more like pokehim buddies). Just play it smooth and unaggressive, but at some point for a brief moment, you'll need to take a bit of a chance.

Yeah, see that's the way I look at that, too, Jim. The fact that she hasn't shied away from touching me on occasion (despite not being really a touchy-feely person) does tell me she has good feelings for me. But she is in a confused spot right now, too, what with her ex (the longtime friend), and her ex-fiancee still around in some form or another. It wouldn't surprise me if she is having some of the same issues of wondering what to do, but perhaps it's just wishful thinking on my part to even think she has thought of it that far.

I like to think that I am showing I am not ignoring it. I pay a lot of attention to her, and also touch her in return (hand on the shoulder or a brief hug, etc.). I definitely lean in close and invade the "personal space" when we're confiding with each other on something--not shying away from meeting her eyes or nothing. I do know I will have to take a risk--but I don't think the time is quite right. I'm just playing it by ear at this point.

Thanks for the "poke-him" laugh...will definitely need to avoid that.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by sabotai

Ah, a lover of eggs and cheese. Her coolness points have been restored.

Yup, she hit on two big parts of my diet there.

[WSUCougar]

Just remember that she's a vegetarian when she says things like, "Wow, your cucumber looks delicious!"

[Noop]

Damn I am not sure but if your not a virgin and you want to bed this woman what is the problem? Showing your *ya know* doesn't work on older women? Damn I need a new method of getting girls for the future.



*I was kidding*

[Alf]

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Dude... from the sounds of it, she's left the door open for you. I see plenty of subtle (and not-so-subtle) hints there... she's saying "you're a nice guy... you went out on a limb... I get it... and I'm cool with it." If she weren't interested, there'd be much awkwardness. But she's dropping hints like HA is dropping 5 year olds... that means, basically, she wants to ride your jock.

The Ladies' Man recommends you do it in the butt.

Ah, finally. Where have you been these past few days ?

As for CR, a woman touching you, even in France, is a clear indication !

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Chief Rum

BTW, my favorite movie is Shawshenk Redemption. When she told me she hadn't seen it, I think I made a face like Chevy Chase makes to that blonde chick at the end of Fletch when she says she doesn't like basketball.

Any Fletch reference is a good one and you compounded it with Shawshank Redemption. That's beautiful *sheds a tear*

SI

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Archer219

- How long has she been debating this ex-boyfriend thing? I've seen it used before as a ploy to attract other men by women, based on the theory that guys want what seems unattainable.

This is the kind of thing that just makes me go "why are people so screwed in the head". For those of us in the oblivious faction of the world, we just don't get it

SI

[Flasch186]

Originally Posted by Solecismic

My wife's a vegetarian. Never got in the way at all. The only unusual part of it is that we both usually cook dinner together, because we never eat exactly the same meal. She's not one of those veggie-lovers who whines if someone else has a steak and potatoes at the same table.

Trust me on this one, walking by and scratching your back is not normal friend behavior. It's an invitation. But if you continue to ignore it, you'll either offend her, or she'll start introducing you to her male friends - and I'm not talking poker buddies (more like pokehim buddies). Just play it smooth and unaggressive, but at some point for a brief moment, you'll need to take a bit of a chance.

DING DING DING DING we have a winner

I have had so many of theose WCHB moments in my life that finally about 8 years ago, along with deciding to try and never tell a lie, I also decided to not pussy foot around shit. I tell it like it is and if someone doesnt like it thats their problem SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO I'd say at some point you HAVE to take a chance, a well timed chance, but a chance none the less. RIGHT NOW, she could be on a message board at FOFG saying the same shit and yetserday she let everyone know, "He brought me flowers and a card thanking me for helping him." and while someone responds, "He likes you." someone else says, "Your in the friendship zone sister, go fuck your ex-boyfriend." SO she's probably in the same boat as you, confused. At some point you have to clear the air unless you need another friend.

[CraigSca]

God, I'm glad I'm married. I had forgotten how exciting and crappy (all at the same time) the early stages of a relationship are.

As far as the advice is concerned...I unfrotunately don't have much. I have had the touchy girl in the past tell me she just wanted to be friends (bleeh) but it's usally a damn good sign.

[sachmo71]

Originally Posted by CraigSca

God, I'm glad I'm married. I had forgotten how exciting and crappy (all at the same time) the early stages of a relationship are.

As far as the advice is concerned...I unfrotunately don't have much. I have had the touchy girl in the past tell me she just wanted to be friends (bleeh) but it's usally a damn good sign.

Interesting point, but you seem to have a skewed perception of marriage. If you work at it, there can still be excitement. In fact, I could argue that some of these moments are better then "first date" moments.

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by Flasch186

DING DING DING DING we have a winner

I have had so many of theose WCHB moments in my life that finally about 8 years ago, along with deciding to try and never tell a lie, I also decided to not pussy foot around shit. I tell it like it is and if someone doesnt like it thats their problem SSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOO I'd say at some point you HAVE to take a chance, a well timed chance, but a chance none the less. RIGHT NOW, she could be on a message board at FOFG saying the same shit and yetserday she let everyone know, "He brought me flowers and a card thanking me for helping him." and while someone responds, "He likes you." someone else says, "Your in the friendship zone sister, go fuck your ex-boyfriend." SO she's probably in the same boat as you, confused. At some point you have to clear the air unless you need another friend.

I agree completely, Flash. It would be funny if that scenario was going on (or not so funny, I suppose, if you know what I mean, for lost opportunities).

I think the key is timing right now, as you mentioned. The work dynamic makes timing even more important, of course. So right now, I think it's best I play it by ear and see how things go. I figure at some point, I will tell her, or I will fall out of it and move on. I just don't think I can (or would bother) to stay running in place on this one perpetually, you know?

Not to mention if I keep talking about things here, you guys will be getting on me to move forward or get out, so I have that motivation, too.

[Chief Rum]

Update: nothing huge (trust me, I will say when something big happens), but an interesting day nonetheless.

Although we started off well enough, I sorta felt shut out at one point in the morning, and was wondering what was up with that. But I am pretty sure it's because she is in some pain from a back injury right now, and was also probably a bit sore from overdoing a visit to the tanning salon the night before.

I asked to take a break with her because she was leaving early for a doctor's appointment (so she wasn't taking a lunch), and that turned out to do the trick. We were more "back to normal" during the break, work pressure off, and an expected 10-15 minute break turned into like a half hour of just talking (mostly nonsese, but you get the point).

I finally did ask her about doing something outside of work (that is, and completed the task ), and we are going to try and do something after work next week some time.

She also knows I have emailed a former co-worker of hers to ask out on a date, and she was curious about that, but I didn't feel the curiosity was more than as a friend (or she's a much better actor than I am).

Basically, I was mostly getting friend vibes today, but it goes that way from day to day sometimes.

[Franklinnoble]

I don't know... I get the distinct impression you're not being at all cocky...

[BishopMVP]

So, if y'all end up in a relationship and it gets serious enough, does FOFC get a shout-out in the proposal or wedding toast?

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by BishopMVP

So, if y'all end up in a relationship and it gets serious enough, does FOFC get a shout-out in the proposal or wedding toast?

For the sake of CR, do you really want her knowing about this and then possibly finding the thread?

SI

[Swaggs]

Haven't enough women already infiltrated this site?

[Chief Rum]

lol...while I don't plan on introducing her to this site, I think it's a big enough part of my Internet life that it would be impossible for her to not know about it. Will I tell her about this thread? Doubt it, but we'll see how it goes.

But that's thinking abit too far in the future, methinks.

You know, for all the women infiltrating this site (as Swaggs noted), it's disappointing I haven't gotten more responses from the females. I think oliegirl is it. So hopefully I will get more feedback there.

FN, today I was much more cocky, and yet, still funny (judging by the reaction).

CR

[GoldenEagle]

Does anyone else get that song in their head when they see the thread title at the top of the board? You know, the one that goes "its just a little crush, its not like I faint everytime we touch." I am singing it outloud now. Thanks, CR.

[Eaglesfan27]

Originally Posted by GoldenEagle

Does anyone else get that song in their head when they see the thread title at the top of the board? You know, the one that goes "its just a little crush, its not like I faint everytime we touch." I am singing it outloud now. Thanks, CR.

I didn't until you mentioned it. Thanks a lot.