Facebook posts so pathetic they belong in this thread!!!

[Autumn]

That's pretty amazing. Let nothing deter your very important message!

[Ksyrup]

Pretty sure this is an easy qualifier for this thread:


Off to the testie specialist. In grown sure hope. They are gentle! !!!

[Rizon]

Originally Posted by mauboy1

..............

Why don't you do it
In front of my face.
So I can watch you
Suffer a black shape.
You're not so tough with my
Gun pressed against your head.
You're no more then five.

................

Perfect words of perfection
Turns you to fire, the desire
Power by will, our minds fill
Like distant memories.

In a soft wind devotion counts
The time spent in the mist of
Attraction.
How it fills a small fantasy thin
And shameless.
Our conversation fairness begins.

Along side my steps the sounds
Of night dimly lit.
A rush of stillness, a delight for
The grain's of life creasing the Pleasures.

...........And this one was minutes before the above one.....

When I faked like you died
I should of tried.
God did it to you for a reason.
Fake like you don't know.
You're a motherfucker, eat shit
And cry with why.
I wish death, a suicide.

Fuck you and what you said.
I will fucking hate you.
We never were forever.
I'm not what you think I am.
I am the wrath in your death.

What. the. shit.

[Julio Riddols]

I think the fact that the poetry is so poorly written makes it all that much more haunting and visceral. Sadly, the poet probably doesn't think that at all.

[CraigSca]

Originally Posted by Rizon

What. the. shit.

I wonder, does he have a newsletter?

[EagleFan]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

Pretty sure this is an easy qualifier for this thread:


Off to the testie specialist. In grown sure hope. They are gentle! !!!

Does that second sentence make sense to anyone?

[Ksyrup]

He has major issues with punctuation. I assume he posts from his phone and just doesn't bother fixing it. My assumption is "sure hope they are gentle" is supposed to be the last comment. How "in grown" and his testicles go together... not sure I want to know.

[Rizon]

That awkward feeling you get when your little cousin posts one of those down the shirt pictures and you click on it to see it.

[DanGarion]

Originally Posted by Rizon

That awkward feeling you get when your little cousin posts one of those down the shirt pictures and you click on it to see it.

Pics or it didn't happen.


This sort of happened to me yesterday, I was at lunch with a coworker and cute girls kept passing by. One of said cute girls ended up being my cousin's wife. She stopped and said hi when she realized it was me.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Rizon

That awkward feeling you get when your little cousin posts one of those down the shirt pictures and you click on it to see it.

Is she single?


Wait...how old is she?

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Ksyrup

He has major issues with punctuation. I assume he posts from his phone and just doesn't bother fixing it. My assumption is "sure hope they are gentle" is supposed to be the last comment. How "in grown" and his testicles go together... not sure I want to know.

"Off to the testie specialist in town. Sure hope they are gentle?"

prolly a typo

[mauchow]

Sounds like you need more!

Originally Posted by CraigSca

I wonder, does he have a newsletter?

I can see the fire in dust.
The frat house of whores
As I shut the door to you.
Your kiss I will never wish

The worst against the struggle.
The place of anger.
You're pity.
I hope you never over come.
The attempt and the succeed.

His mouth was to yours.
The words are of envy.
I will be the one to make a fist.
I just want what is inside
I can see you fall.
I can see you on the ground
As a failed dream.

Who the fuck am I!
What the fuck am I!
I wish I could wake
Wishing it on my enemies.
I will force the change.
The suggestion just to see what
Will happen next.
What happens in the mind.
I had your picture.
Come out and decide.
As your fucking life is over .

[JonInMiddleGA]

Umm ... shouldn't that be sorority house of whores?

Just sayin'.

[Autumn]

I was going to say I don't know where to start, but I guess Jon does.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Umm ... shouldn't that be sorority house of whores?

Just sayin'.

Maybe that's why he has issues with women?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Autumn

I was going to say I don't know where to start, but I guess Jon does.

Every journey begins with but a single step

[JonInMiddleGA]

I'm really questioning whether the whole "since Facebook is publicly traded" privacy claim "statement" might not be the first full fledged litmus test whether someone is simply too f'n stupid to be on my friend's list that I've come across.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Far more detailed & impassioned rant about the aforementioned stupid fucking "disclaimer"

This ain't Hell, but you can see it from here » Blog Archive » Paulians and their perspicacious privacy warnings; profligate phlyarologists. (Their legal disclaimer is horseshit)

[Radii]

Amanda Bynes: Mr. President, can you fire a police officer? – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs

Amanda Bynes tweets the president of the united states to ask him to fire a police officer who arrested her... wtf.

[Grover]

How long until Bynes ODs and dies?

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

I'm really questioning whether the whole "since Facebook is publicly traded" privacy claim "statement" might not be the first full fledged litmus test whether someone is simply too f'n stupid to be on my friend's list that I've come across.

it's a litmus test, but if that is the your first litmus test, you are in much better shape than most of us, I think

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Draft Dodger

it's a litmus test, but if that is the your first litmus test, you are in much better shape than most of us, I think

It's close to being the first absolute one. There have been some other candidates for that role but I could usually spot exceptions to them. This one I'm having a tough time with.

[mckerney]

I'm pretty when I lie - Tip for modern adulterers: If you’re planning to...

[Grover]

Originally Posted by mckerney

I'm pretty when I lie - Tip for modern adulterers: If you’re planning to...

This is pretty hilarious, if not disturbing.

[Passacaglia]

Two funny consecutive posts:

Best.Boyfriend.Ever. He's out of town for work and I get this picture. The note says "I'm missing something here!!" ♥

(then it shows a picture of a guy sitting next to a pillow with a note on it)

Next post on my feed:

‎"I know you probably won't clean anything while I'm out of town so I just want you to drink all the Beer in the fridge."

-Best girlfriend ever......

[stevew]

Facebook is all cool to look at dumb people fighting over stuff. That is, until you have to hear about 2nd hand epic fights via your wife. And then she gets pissed when you tune her out.

[ISiddiqui]

LOL! It is sucky enough to get in trouble when tuning out your SO when she's talking about her own friends fighting, but Facebook fights?

[stevew]

Mainly it's dumb relatives shitting on her mom, and/or my wofe's retarded psychotic sister starting drama.

I wish all these assholes would learn how to block.

Drama right now seems to be centered over a family reunion next month. It's in Fort Niagara, which costs a gaping $8 a carload to enter(and I think $2 a person if you want to swim) And all the NY based welfare bums with 5+ kids have transportation dilemmas and/or baby daddy drama.

Not to mention claims of "I can't afford to chip in $5 to help towards food so I'm not going" type shit.

FIVE fucking dollars people, wtf.

I think I'm just going to stay behind and work, I hate all these people.

[Noop]

Am I the only who hates the like this status because this person is a (hero, beautiful, brave, loves Jesus or whatever)?

People are fucking stupid.

[Grover]

Originally Posted by Noop

Am I the only who hates the like this status because this person is a (hero, beautiful, brave, loves Jesus or whatever)?

People are fucking stupid.

No, it's pretty fucking obnoxious.

Along with the... 95% of people won't share this...

I hate those too.

[bhlloy]

I have a pretty batshit insane guy I know who is a self-employed cameraman/DJ/photographer/graphic designer/whatever who has literally hundreds of pictures on FB of himself photoshopped with celebrities.

They're not terrible photoshops, but it's still pretty obvious. Makes me wonder if he really thinks people will fall for it and be impressed or if he's just screwing with people and seeing if anyone has the balls to call him out on it. The sheer volume makes me think the former, but who knows.

[spleen1015]

Call him on it and see what happens.

[JonInMiddleGA]

I could go the rest of my life without seeing the status update from bands complaining about how "ever since Facebook went public our fans see less than 20% of our posts blah blah blah".

I know they're musicians rather than social media mavens but is it really that fucking difficult to comprehend that:
a) most posts by most pages have NEVER been seen by most followers, no matter whether FB was public or private.
b) it isn't just your traffic that hits their wall, it's everybodies traffic that hits their wall ... more traffic = more shit that's never seen because it gets pushed down

[Passacaglia]

Do they understand what 'facebook went public' even means, or am I missing something?

[Autumn]

Jon, I think the issue is maybe being misunderstood. I believe Facebook made a change to the system for band/business/fan pages, so that literally only 20% of their followers are shown the status updates. My wife has a business page, and she said they recently altered that, so that liking a page doesn't guarantee you're going to see all the updates from that page. I don't think it had anything to do with going public, but I believe there was a radical change in the system for groups like musicians.

[spleen1015]

My little sister.

"Mitt Romney wants to get rid of Sesame Street?! WTH?! That seals the deal. Not voting for him. Ha!"

[Suburban Rhythm]

Two recent politically slanted posts that really got me

A response to an original post about the PA voter ID law

It is so easy to steal someone's identity anymore. If that's so easy, it should be easy for these people to get an ID too"

Another that was a photo of an Exxon sign, showing prices of $1.84, $1.89 and $2.02.

One of the comments

Can the country just fire him already? Is that allowed before he's done? Honest question, I really don't know

[Autumn]

Maybe we should make it so the president's job is solely to set gas prices. It would make voting easier.

[tarcone]

well, Poison was handed their first loss today... not to make any excuses.. but several of our girls weren't there... and the other team added a few "older" girls to the team for the day... So, if you have to cheat to win, it's not worth it...I would rather lose with dignity.

Yep, losing with dignity by calling the other team cheaters. And way to not make excuses.

[Draft Dodger]

some greatest hits over the years from a guy I knew in high school (who, thankfully, is the only dude who ever poked me on facebook)

President Mitt Romney....... now I like the sound of that! Time to get that pathetic, lying wimp of a president out of there and put in a real man! Click "like" since you like this! Go Mitt!!!

Hi Everybody, I don't know about you, but let's keep it simple: Time to get rid of our current president. Everyone is entitled to secrecy about who they will vote for, but, please do me a favor ( to help Mitt's people feel better): write me back and let me know a number of people that you, personally, know will vote for Romney. (if your number is 0, please don't tell me, ok?) My 60 day goal for this is to get a total of 5 million yes's. ( hey, it's only fifty thousand groups of a hundred people! Lol...but I have to have a goal! Thanks so much! Chris

(2 likes)

Okay, once again, our current president doesn't feel the need for a priority of cracking down on people like this psycho who walks into a movie theatre. Maybe Mr. Mitt Romney will care about and love us all more to do something about it, while Osama keeps on smoking his pack a day and false-claiming he's helping people find jobs. Help Mitt win the right to lead us instead of a loser like Osama!!! (that's right, I don't call him by his real name because I just don't respect him one iota!)

As long as Obama (saying tongue in cheek) doesn't start taking the credit for taking out Bin Laden and lauds the true president George W Bush who deserves at least 30% of the credit for dedicating his presidency to finding that mole (hidden in compound) ......and, yes, I give Obama, oh, about 5% tops, but of course, most of the credit goes to the Navy Seals, CIA and other intelligence agencies for this special day!

I love watching our current president speak to Congress, let's see, can I find a cohesive sentence using 10 words? lol

is FINALLY seeing the tide turn on Obama with 6 days to go, My man McCain is going to win this and it won't be as close as '04 either!!! Yay!!!!

is hoping somebody out there is planning a noose for Obama/Biden as well.....we won't let the dems get away with this crapola...

[Lathum]

what exactly is an iota?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Lathum

what exactly is an iota?

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/iota
i·o·ta
[ahy-oh-tuh]
noun
1.a very small quantity; jot; whit.
2.the ninth letter of the greek alphabet (I, ι).
3.the vowel sound represented by this letter.

[Desnudo]

Originally Posted by Draft Dodger

some greatest hits over the years from a guy I knew in high school (who, thankfully, is the only dude who ever poked me on facebook)





(2 likes)

65% credit to seals.

Sounds reasonable and very specific.

[Draft Dodger]

(unintentional) comedy gold

Just speaking my mind here: Joe Biden forgot his appointment with the doctor just before the debate: he was supposed to get a urinalysis and (deep) prostate exam, but, instead, it was all coming out of his mouth! That debate last night made Mr. Paul Ryan the great candidate that he is based on Paul's behavior. (ALTHOUGH IT IS ASSUMED THAT LAST NIGHT WAS A DRAW, CONSIDER THIS: RYAN WAS TAKING ON TWO, COUNT THEM, TWO OPPONENTS LAST NIGHT SINCE MARTHA LIBERALLY SLANTED MODERATOR WAS ATTACKING RYAN, TOO? IN BASEBALL, THAT WOULD BE CONSIDERED AS ONE TEAM PLAYING TWO OTHER TEAMS AT THE SAME TIME, SO TELL ME, IS THAT A FAIR START TO A GAME?)
The insensitive and 29 time (or so) interrupting Biden caused me to feel shame for the current vp that we have. Biden, that jerkoff, should be ashamed of himself for his behavior last night. Paul Ryan looked like the mature man that he is and Biden looked as if he was "tired" of debating just a half hour into it, based on his ugly smiling, immature mugging and hostile chuckling. (Not to mention how that HURT his boss' chances more than helped.)
Isn't everybody convinced now that Romney/Ryan is the better choice, especially after the fact-checking post debate came out in Ryan's favor? (proving that this democratic choice thinks that they can lie and get away with it?) Not to mention that Biden is a sorry excuse for a Roman Catholic. I don't consider him a brother in Christ, that's for sure! That wasn't a debate last night, that was a strategically placed farce that was unfair from the beginning. Martha Moderator shouldn't have been working last night, there should have been somebody UNBIASED there like Lehrer, again.
Go Romney/Ryan! Based on last night, it's another win, in a strange sort of way!

[Draft Dodger]

oh, and he just commented on Ryan's page

Mr. Ryan, thank you for your wonderful behavior and debate last night. You came out looking like you were the better, more mature and greater man than that bozo you were talking with. He was extremely disrespectful, condescending and rude. THAT IS AN EXAMPLE OF AN OPPONENT THAT DID NOT DESERVE TO BE THERE and he is a disgrace to the Catholic religion. Last night forced me to have ZERO respect for Biden from here on out and I'm praying for you and Mr. Romney to get not 270 on election day, but more like 350 !!! (electoral votes, that is) Sincerely, [redacted]

[PilotMan]

I honestly don't know how you look at someone the same way after a post like that. I have some friends that I am seriously rethinking considering some of the stuff they post. It's a wicked double edged sword.

[Subby]

Those remind of the old Lazlo Toth letters. SO great.

[Grover]

Wow. That is amazing. I want to drink their Kool-Aid.

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

I honestly don't know how you look at someone the same way after a post like that. I have some friends that I am seriously rethinking considering some of the stuff they post. It's a wicked double edged sword.

it helps that he isn't a friend at all. was a casual friend in HS but that was basically it...other than a brief time in college when he tried to hang around with me and, true story, tried to move into our dorm room since no one would notice some mystery kid sleeping on our couch. yeah, he was a little weird back then too.

I actually have a few batshit crazy people like this on FB, mostly religious nuts. Personally, I find it very entertaining.

[Draft Dodger]

so, back story on this one is that her daughter has been paralyzed after some sort of random infection. the status update is not the pathetic post here...

OMG OMG OMG My daughter moved her leg i mean really moved it and not just a little bit either, she did it 3 times in a row. I am soooooooo happy. The smile wont come off my face.

instead, it would be one of the comments:

Love your Hair Colleen Looks Really Cute.