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Old 01-04-2013, 10:10 AM   #1201
cartman
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Ménage Ã* trois + baseball bat = arrest in Vero Beach - Off the Beat with Will Greenlee
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Old 01-04-2013, 10:12 AM   #1202
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I'm a little let down that the bat was used for violence.
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Old 01-04-2013, 11:54 AM   #1203
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someone might want to tell the author that "Three Days" is about a threesome.
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Old 01-04-2013, 12:17 PM   #1204
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Also pretty sure that Larry got it on with The Ropers at one point.
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Old 01-05-2013, 02:03 AM   #1205
mckerney
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Australian heist goes wrong as robbers tunnel into KFC not jewellers - Telegraph

Quote:
The pair of thieves were making their third attempt to rob the jewellers. They had previously attempted to smash through the front window.
When that attempt failed they then tried to get in through the back doors, but instead found themselves in the neighbouring Animal Welfare League Opportunity Shop.
On that occasion, they again tried to make the most of their situation, allegedly stealing a charity box containing $50 (£32).

If you fail at robbing the jewelry store, try to rob it two more times. If you fail two more times, then maybe robbing jewelry stores isn't for you.

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Old 01-05-2013, 10:27 AM   #1206
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SI
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Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out!

Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!"
Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!"


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Old 01-06-2013, 06:25 PM   #1207
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Someone tapes stuff (drills, an earphone, a memory card, batteries and a phone charger) to a cat, and sets him free near a Prison in Brazil.
http://news.yahoo.com/cat-caught-sne...145407675.html
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Old 01-14-2013, 09:15 PM   #1208
cartman
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BBC News - Puppy thrown at German biker gang

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A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.
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Old 01-14-2013, 09:22 PM   #1209
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Originally Posted by DougW View Post
Someone tapes stuff (drills, an earphone, a memory card, batteries and a phone charger) to a cat, and sets him free near a Prison in Brazil.
Cat caught sneaking saw, phone into Brazil prison - Yahoo! News


"It's tough to find out who's responsible for the action as the cat doesn't speak," a prison spokesperson told local paper Estado de S.Paulo.
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Old 01-14-2013, 09:44 PM   #1210
sterlingice
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Originally Posted by cartman View Post

Mooned the Hell's Angels?
Threw a puppy?
Escaped in a bulldozer?

Which part made you do the biggest double take?

SI
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Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!"
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Old 01-15-2013, 11:50 PM   #1211
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http://news.sky.com/story/1038312/cl...ouse-in-sweden
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Old 02-05-2013, 12:55 PM   #1212
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Some things are just best left unbuilt...

Bin Laden theme park: Five of the world's most bizarre amusement parks - Yahoo! News UK
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Old 02-06-2013, 11:35 PM   #1213
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http://www.tennessean.com/article/20...-job-save-soul
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Old 02-07-2013, 10:22 AM   #1214
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It was probably the size of his deduction that did it for her

Vincent Burroughs Accuses IRS Agent Dora Abrahamson Of Coercing Sex By Using Threat Of Tax Penalty
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Old 02-18-2013, 09:48 AM   #1215
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As a big Keys fan this has been amusing.

Patrick Carney Is Trolling The Sh*t Out Of Justin Bieber And His Fans
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Old 02-23-2013, 01:53 PM   #1216
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Doubleheader funeral after husband dies on way to wife's wake - U.S. News
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:45 PM   #1217
cartman
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Dog bites man isn't news worthy, but...

Dog shoots man accidentally, police say | Highlands Today
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Old 02-26-2013, 10:56 PM   #1218
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Dog bites man isn't news worthy, but...

Dog shoots man accidentally, police say | Highlands Today

If this was on fark.com it'd have a "FLORIDA" tag...

and yes, I thought this before I clicked the link and noticed it was in fact from Florida.
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Old 02-28-2013, 04:14 PM   #1220
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FLORIDA MAN!!
Attached Images
File Type: jpg FL1.jpg (48.3 KB, 323 views)
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Old 02-28-2013, 08:49 PM   #1221
M GO BLUE!!!
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Quote:
He said that he was driving on State Road 17 North "when his dog kicked his unloaded .380 pistol causing it to fire and the bullet struck his leg. Lanier said he heard boom, saw smoke and felt a burning in his leg."

The report said Lanier was not only surprised that the gun was loaded, but also that it was actually a 9mm weapon.


I thought with my brain matters it was one of them there stabbing knife things. Then my dog gone kicked it an' it went all "boom" real loud.
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Old 03-01-2013, 11:02 AM   #1222
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Originally Posted by M GO BLUE!!! View Post
I thought with my brain matters it was one of them there stabbing knife things. Then my dog gone kicked it an' it went all "boom" real loud.

The scary part is, he was somehow able to get a drivers license...

Well, I assume he has a drivers license.
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Old 03-01-2013, 11:17 AM   #1223
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The scary part is, he was somehow able to get a drivers license...

Well, I assume he has a drivers license.

Stop applying California standards to Florida.
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Old 03-01-2013, 11:20 AM   #1224
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Stop applying California standards to Florida.

Ahhh that is a good point. Total oversight on my part.
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Old 03-01-2013, 03:56 PM   #1225
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Could this be the end of FLLOOORRRRIDAAA MAAAAAAAANN?

Florida man swallowed by sinkhole under bedroom - Yahoo! News
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Old 03-01-2013, 06:07 PM   #1226
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JediKooter View Post
Could this be the end of FLLOOORRRRIDAAA MAAAAAAAANN?

Florida man swallowed by sinkhole under bedroom - Yahoo! News

Florida Man finally fighting crime!

Chief: Bank robbery suspect gave full name to teller | News-JournalOnline.com

I do like this part too.

Quote:
About an hour later, while officers were still combing the area for Maupin, a call came in regarding a suspicious package at Kmart, 1300 W. International Speedway Blvd. Inside a bag, officers found documents regarding how to file for a patent, how to kill people and more, Chitwood said. Officers also found a device they deemed potentially explosive, and a bomb squad was called.

As if he deciding on bank robbing after also considering being a hitman or inventor.

Last edited by mckerney : 03-01-2013 at 06:09 PM.
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Old 03-03-2013, 02:45 PM   #1228
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Judging from the families reaction it seems like it may have been an agreed upon or understood thing. Perhaps the lady had certain wishes she had made known.
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Old 03-04-2013, 11:15 AM   #1229
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mckerney View Post
Florida Man finally fighting crime!

Chief: Bank robbery suspect gave full name to teller | News-JournalOnline.com

I do like this part too.



As if he deciding on bank robbing after also considering being a hitman or inventor.

I like that he gave his full name to the teller. I mean, that's the last thing they would expect you to do, right? It's genius!
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Old 03-04-2013, 04:01 PM   #1230
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'Batman' drops off suspect at police station, vanishes into night - World News
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Old 03-04-2013, 09:45 PM   #1231
M GO BLUE!!!
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Love that Batman is indeed real... even if he let himself go a bit there!
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Old 03-05-2013, 10:52 AM   #1232
JediKooter
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He just needs to get back into the swing of things and those pounds will melt off.
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Old 03-05-2013, 03:42 PM   #1233
M GO BLUE!!!
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Florida Man Builds Mini Car for His Pet Parrot - ABC News

Remember when birds like, flew?
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Old 03-05-2013, 04:18 PM   #1234
Chief Rum
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Oh, Florida.
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I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready.
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Old 03-05-2013, 04:22 PM   #1235
mckerney
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Florida Man Accused Of Urinating On Deputy's Lunch While Inside Patrol Car
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Old 03-05-2013, 07:07 PM   #1236
JediKooter
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Well, at least he warned him before he started pissing on everything.
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Old 03-08-2013, 02:20 AM   #1237
mckerney
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Applebee’s waitress asks patron for ID, gets own stolen driver’s license in return | The Sideshow - Yahoo! News

Woman gets busted for using stolen ID at Applebees...because the ID belonged to the waitress who carded her...oh, and the woman using the ID is 26.

Last edited by mckerney : 03-08-2013 at 02:21 AM.
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Old 03-19-2013, 06:05 PM   #1238
cartman
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This one is a doozy:

Victim of cocaine sex party attack: It all makes sense | Local & Regional | KATU.com - Portland News, Sports, Traffic Weather and Breaking News - Portland, Oregon
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Old 03-19-2013, 06:31 PM   #1239
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"According to the report, the victim started laughing, saying he broke up with her four months ago. At that point, he stopped answering any questions, only repeating that "it all made sense now."


And that's, the rest of the story...
paul-harvey.jpg
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Old 03-19-2013, 06:35 PM   #1240
molson
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So is Seattle or Portland the Florida of the Northwest?
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Old 03-19-2013, 10:14 PM   #1241
Draft Dodger
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did Flasch write that?
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Old 03-22-2013, 07:21 PM   #1242
Radii
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http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-i...n-marry,94206/
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Old 03-24-2013, 01:17 AM   #1243
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Tea Party group boycotting Fox News for becoming ‘too liberal’ | The Raw Story
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Old 03-24-2013, 09:06 AM   #1244
sterlingice
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They have also demanded that the network feature ”at least one segment on Benghazi every night on two of its prime-time shows; that Fox similarly devote investigative resources to discovering the truth of Obama’s birth certificate; and that the network cease striving to be ‘fair and balanced.’”

Hahahaha. I don't want to turn this too political but people who think Benghazi is the, I dunno, Obama's Watergate need to realize two things. One: most of the US doesn't care substantially about it. I mean, they care and it was a big story for a few days but we're easily distracted and, rightly or wrongly, we're pretty numb to Americans dying overseas these days. Two: the goalposts for a new "Watergate" have changed. It's humorous to look back and see that something so "trivial" by today's standards felled a President less than 40 years ago. Would it really surprise anyone if it came out that Obama and Romney had dueling hackers, trying to get into the computers of each other's campaigns?

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Old 03-24-2013, 02:21 PM   #1245
Chief Rum
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I figured at first this must have been an Onion piece.
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Old 03-24-2013, 03:06 PM   #1246
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Since when do actual reporters interview 3 people and then call them a broad-brushed "Tea Party group"?. It's laughable what we believe these days is serious news.
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Old 03-30-2013, 08:39 AM   #1247
M GO BLUE!!!
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BBC News - Three men charged over Norwich 'Oompa Loompas' attack

Police investigating an assault involving people dressed as Oompa Loompas have charged three men.

Officers appealed for information following an incident at a kebab shop in Norwich on 27 December.

A 28-year-old man suffered cuts and bruises in the attack which took place on the Prince of Wales Road.

The men have each been charged with two counts of assault causing actually bodily harm.

They are Matthew Wright, 20, of Decoy Road, Potter Heigham; Matthew Watling, 19, of Lighthouse Close, Happisburgh; and Louis Gelinas, 20, of Rectory Road, Sutton.

All three have been released on bail and are due to appear before Norwich magistrates on 8 April.

The Oompa Loompas were fictional characters from the 1971 film Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, a movie that was based on a book by Roald Dahl.
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Old 03-30-2013, 09:08 AM   #1248
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Old 04-01-2013, 11:03 AM   #1249
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Still one of my most favorite threads on this site.
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Old 04-03-2013, 10:01 PM   #1250
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Pittsburgh mayoral candidate A.J. Richardson says he plans to plead guilty to DUI
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