Random Thoughts That Don't Deserve Their Own Thread Go Here

[PilotMan]

So last weekend I got on the roof and removed a bird nest from under the eve's of our house. I don't do the roof. This week. Fucking birds rebuild the nest. FUCK YOU BIRDS!!!

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by ColtCrazy

I think it's impossible to make a 6 foot rabbit not look creepy.

Discussed that several times on FB in the past week, those things are pretty much ALL scary

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

So last weekend I got on the roof and removed a bird nest from under the eve's of our house. I don't do the roof. This week. Fucking birds rebuild the nest. FUCK YOU BIRDS!!!

a couple years back we had a robin build a nest on the outdoor vent for our gas heating stove. the nest was literally smoldering, so I took the nest down. the next day, it was back. so I took it down again. this happened several times until I was struck by some inspiration and hung a rubber snake right next to the vent.

that put an abrupt end to the nest building, and the rubber snake is still there today

[claphamsa]

Every time I schedule a random day off... the weather goes to shit. Was supposed to be 68 on wednesday next week, the high is now down to 58.

[terpkristin]

I'm finally having the dental work done that I complained about needing earlier in this thread, it'll be done Monday by a dentist that specializes in sedation dentistry. I'm very happy about this, as in addition to total panic when it comes to the dentist in general, I have a bad gag reflex (I literally gag every time I brush my teeth), so it will be hard for him to fix one of my molars otherwise.

I'm a bit nervous, though, that the anesthesia group that he works with did not call me on Thursday or Friday. I mean, yes, I've had a ton of surgeries (which are all in the history I gave the dentist), so we know I don't have any real issues. But I am allergic to one of the common sedatives and am on a lot of medications for my back right now. I'm hoping that there wasn't some missed communication somewhere and that this won't make the dental work get postponed...

/tk

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by PilotMan

So last weekend I got on the roof and removed a bird nest from under the eve's of our house. I don't do the roof. This week. Fucking birds rebuild the nest. FUCK YOU BIRDS!!!

I think you're in the wrong job to have an issue with heights

SI

[CU Tiger]

Originally Posted by terpkristin

I have a bad gag reflex (I literally gag every time I brush my teeth),
/tk

Begging for a bad joke

In all seriousness, good luck hope everything goes well and try not to worry that never helps anything.

[Wolfpack]

Originally Posted by Lathum

My 3 year old just had an epic meltdown while attempting to get his picture with the Easter bunny.

Originally Posted by molson

Can you really blame him? Here he is, enjoying life, the weather's warming up, flowers are blooming, and suddenly......Giant fucking bunny.

Originally Posted by ColtCrazy

I think it's impossible to make a 6 foot rabbit not look creepy.

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Discussed that several times on FB in the past week, those things are pretty much ALL scary

Reminds me of a joke Robin Williams did in one of his stand-up routines way back when his son was a toddler.

"I try and do sweet things for him. I thought, 'I'll take him to Disneyland! That'll be fun! Mickey Mouse for for a three-year-old! Yes! Mickey Mouse for a three-year-old! That'll be incredible!' Mickey Mouse to a three-year-old is a six-foot f'ing rat!"

[terpkristin]

Originally Posted by CU Tiger

Begging for a bad joke

In all seriousness, good luck hope everything goes well and try not to worry that never helps anything.

Yes, I really hesitated writing that!

The anesthesiologist called this evening, so I guess all is set. I'm feeling a lot better now that I talked to her. Bleh, I hate dentists.

/tk

[PilotMan]

Originally Posted by sterlingice

I think you're in the wrong job to have an issue with heights

SI

Ugh....I don't have the problem in the plane at all. I've been upside down, backward, sideways, pointed up and pointed down and I've never had an issue at all.

Put me anywhere else where I might fall a long way and get hurt and that old queasy feeling returns.

I have seen guys who tried to become pilots but realized they were terrified of heights in a plane. It didn't take them long to realize that they needed to give up the dream.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

A: Put it in the microwave until it's bill withers...

[sabotai]

I sometimes wonder if my hermit-like existence is making me lose touch with reality...

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by sabotai

I sometimes wonder if my hermit-like existence is making me lose touch with reality...

You and me both.

[lighthousekeeper]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Q: How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

A: Put it in the microwave until it's bill withers...

[stevew]

1. step in an ill advised dog poop, looks like someone missed the pad.
2. limp to the bathroom like you've been shot in the Achilles by Hector's brother
3. vigorously scrub foot

[Logan]

Got this big annual assignment coming up at work, and we bring in resources from all over. I lead a team of 7-8 others and I got an email from one guy reporting next week, saying he wants to let me know that he has a "scheduled wellness day on Thursday 5/8".

I work for the government so I guess I should expect this type of shit but WTF is a scheduled wellness day? It sounds like "I'm going to need some R&R in advance".

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by Logan

Got this big annual assignment coming up at work, and we bring in resources from all over. I lead a team of 7-8 others and I got an email from one guy reporting next week, saying he wants to let me know that he has a "scheduled wellness day on Thursday 5/8".

I work for the government so I guess I should expect this type of shit but WTF is a scheduled wellness day? It sounds like "I'm going to need some R&R in advance".

This sounds like the workplace equivalent of "Oh...I'm washing my hair that night, sorry"

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Logan

Got this big annual assignment coming up at work, and we bring in resources from all over. I lead a team of 7-8 others and I got an email from one guy reporting next week, saying he wants to let me know that he has a "scheduled wellness day on Thursday 5/8".

I work for the government so I guess I should expect this type of shit but WTF is a scheduled wellness day? It sounds like "I'm going to need some R&R in advance".

LOL

It's like when my parents used to let my sisters take a "mental health day" in HS.

[Izulde]

Yeah scheduled wellness day = a mental health day, which is actually a thing.

[lungs]

So I accidentally created some mustard gas yesterday. And breathed it in. Fun stuff.

[Blackadar]

Damn, I hope lungs' lungs are ok.

[Blackadar]

Geezus, I don't know how some companies stay in friggin' business.

*shakes head*

I'm getting quotes on movers for the NC > FL move coming up. Contacted Atlas, United Van Lines, Mayflower and Two Men and a Truck. Went to each of their websites and filled out information. Each called me or emailed me and now we're working on getting quotes.

My wife says today "what about North American, we used them on our last move"? Ok, good idea. So I go to their website, fill out the information including phone, address and email. I get a call 30 seconds later.

"Hello?"
"Hello?"
"Hello?"

After about 10 seconds, some automated message starts playing from North American telling me to call them. Fuck you, no. First of all, I hate automated messages. Secondly, get yours working so it actually kicks in when I answer the phone. Third, I've given you my contact information. Pick up the fucking phone and make a personal phone call or at least send an email. I'm not in a position to write down your fucking number nor should I have to contact you TWICE via two different ways to start the process of getting a quote.

In short, fuck you and your anti-customer ways. If that's the response I get now, I can't imagine the fucking phone hell I'd have to go through if I (God forbid) had a claim for damaged items.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Logan

Got this big annual assignment coming up at work, and we bring in resources from all over. I lead a team of 7-8 others and I got an email from one guy reporting next week, saying he wants to let me know that he has a "scheduled wellness day on Thursday 5/8".

I work for the government so I guess I should expect this type of shit but WTF is a scheduled wellness day? It sounds like "I'm going to need some R&R in advance".

Pussification of our society right there.

I learned from my Dad and Grandfather when I need some " wellness" from my job I drink a glass of scotch after work.

[Blackadar]

Originally Posted by Blackadar

Geezus, I don't know how some companies stay in friggin' business.

*shakes head*

I'm getting quotes on movers for the NC > FL move coming up. Contacted Atlas, United Van Lines, Mayflower and Two Men and a Truck. Went to each of their websites and filled out information. Each called me or emailed me and now we're working on getting quotes.

My wife says today "what about North American, we used them on our last move"? Ok, good idea. So I go to their website, fill out the information including phone, address and email. I get a call 30 seconds later.

"Hello?"
"Hello?"
"Hello?"

After about 10 seconds, some automated message starts playing from North American telling me to call them. Fuck you, no. First of all, I hate automated messages. Secondly, get yours working so it actually kicks in when I answer the phone. Third, I've given you my contact information. Pick up the fucking phone and make a personal phone call or at least send an email. I'm not in a position to write down your fucking number nor should I have to contact you TWICE via two different ways to start the process of getting a quote.

In short, fuck you and your anti-customer ways. If that's the response I get now, I can't imagine the fucking phone hell I'd have to go through if I (God forbid) had a claim for damaged items.

Oh, and I decided to send a cleaned-up version of this to North American. I've worked with and trained sales departments for over 20 years. This kind of shit gives me fits because it's obviously a decision made by someone who has no business being in sales or marketing.

[albionmoonlight]

EDITOR: I need a stock photo to convey the concept of a man who is sad because his penis is so huge that it will force his wife to cheat on him.

INTERN: I got just the thing, chief!

http://www.timeslive.co.za/lifestyle...marriage-study

(safe for work).

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by lungs

So I accidentally created some mustard gas yesterday. And breathed it in. Fun stuff.

How does one do that accidentally??

[Blackadar]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

How does one do that accidentally??

Bleach + Ammonia gives you chlorine gas, which was also used in WWI. So I figure he's referring to that.

It's more fun to mix bleach with hydrochloric acid. Just make sure you're wearing a gas mask when you do it and run like hell.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Blackadar

Bleach + Ammonia gives you chlorine gas, which was also used in WWI. So I figure he's referring to that.

It's more fun to mix bleach with hydrochloric acid. Just make sure you're wearing a gas mask when you do it and run like hell.

That would make more sense yeah.

Because as far as mustard gas it's definitely trickier to make (thanks Wikipedia).

Synthesis
Sulfur mustard is the organic compound with formula (Cl-CH2CH2)2S. In the Depretz method, sulfur mustard is synthesized by treating sulfur dichloride with ethylene:
SCl2 + 2 C2H4 → (Cl-CH2CH2)2S
In the Levinstein process, disulfur dichloride is used instead:
8 S2Cl2 + 16 C2H4 → 8 (Cl-CH2CH2)2S + S8
In the Meyer method, thiodiglycol is produced from chloroethanol and potassium sulfide and chlorinated with phosphorus trichloride:
3 (HO-CH2CH2)2S + 2 PCl3 → 3 (Cl-CH2CH2)2S + 2 P(OH)3
In the Meyer-Clarke method, concentrated hydrochloric acid (HCl) instead of PCl3 is used as the chlorinating agent:
(HO-CH2CH2)2S + 2 HCl → (Cl-CH2CH2)2S + 2 H2O
Thionyl chloride and phosgene have also been used as chlorinating agents.
It is a viscous liquid at normal temperatures. The pure compound has a melting point of 14 °C (57 °F) and decomposes before boiling at 218 °C (424.4 °F).

[Warhammer]

Monday and Tuesday I had job interviews, so I spent most of both days preparing for them. On Monday, I received an unsolicited email about another job opportunity in the area. I figure I would review it today and respond since I would be on the road all day Tuesday due to my interview in Chicago.

10 minutes after my plane lands back in Dayton, I get a call from their recruiter who is setting up interviews in the area next week. He found my resume online and was very interested in meeting with me if I was still looking for a job and wanted to make sure I received his email, etc. I apologized for not responding sooner, but I had 2 interviews in 2 days and did not have a chance to review the email yet, etc. I tell him I would review it either that night or today and respond.

I review the position, figure what the heck and shoot him an email and say I have reviewed the opportunity and would like to schedule an interview. The response I got from him was he needed my resume and needed to ensure there was mutual interest.

Seriously, you send me two emails in two days, call me 2 hours after the second hits my email box (while I was in the air), and then you tell me you need to ensure there is mutual interest?

WTF?

This is why I can't stand corporate recruiters and HR guys...

[stevew]

I would have just skipped the quoting wiki part and acted like you were smart enough to do that off the top of your head.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by stevew

I would have just skipped the quoting wiki part and acted like you were smart enough to do that off the top of your head.

Aaaah but see...the NSA is all over this shit. I don't want them thinking I'm a domestic terrorist.

[Logan]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Aaaah but see...the NSA is all over this shit. I don't want them thinking I'm a domestic terrorist.

That sounds like something a domestic terrorist would say.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Logan

That sounds like something a domestic terrorist would say.

Talk to lungs...cows+mustard gas sounds like a terroristic plot to poison our cheese supply!

[albionmoonlight]

DaddyTorgo's not a domestic terrorist. He's a high school chemistry teacher who recently got some pretty bad medical news. Cut the guy some slack.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

DaddyTorgo's not a domestic terrorist. He's a high school chemistry teacher who recently got some pretty bad medical news. Cut the guy some slack.

Too bad I didn't live in a country with universal healthcare.

[lungs]

What happened was I took a hand pump out of a bleach barrel and put it into a barrel with sulfur as the active ingredient. If it wasn't mustard gas, the minuscule amount of bleach that reacted with the other liquid friggin knocked me on my ass.

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

That would make more sense yeah.

Because as far as mustard gas it's definitely trickier to make (thanks Wikipedia).

Synthesis
Sulfur mustard is the organic compound with formula (Cl-CH2CH2)2S. In the Depretz method, sulfur mustard is synthesized by treating sulfur dichloride with ethylene:
SCl2 + 2 C2H4 → (Cl-CH2CH2)2S
In the Levinstein process, disulfur dichloride is used instead:
8 S2Cl2 + 16 C2H4 → 8 (Cl-CH2CH2)2S + S8
In the Meyer method, thiodiglycol is produced from chloroethanol and potassium sulfide and chlorinated with phosphorus trichloride:
3 (HO-CH2CH2)2S + 2 PCl3 → 3 (Cl-CH2CH2)2S + 2 P(OH)3
In the Meyer-Clarke method, concentrated hydrochloric acid (HCl) instead of PCl3 is used as the chlorinating agent:
(HO-CH2CH2)2S + 2 HCl → (Cl-CH2CH2)2S + 2 H2O
Thionyl chloride and phosgene have also been used as chlorinating agents.
It is a viscous liquid at normal temperatures. The pure compound has a melting point of 14 °C (57 °F) and decomposes before boiling at 218 °C (424.4 °F).

Solid plan looking up how to make mustard gas living in the Boston area. I think that knocking is Homeland Security.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by Lathum

Solid plan looking up how to make mustard gas living in the Boston area. I think that knocking is Homeland Security.

[stevew]

White male-check
Lives alone-check
Smart-check
Uses the computer-check
Prone to fits of anger-check

Terrorist!
(Or serial killer)

[Lathum]

I wonder if there is a certain artform to loading a vending machine so the snacks are certain to drop.

[Breeze]

Originally Posted by Lathum

I wonder if there is a certain artform to loading a vending machine so the snacks are certain to drop.

Actually, I can answer this...I asked the guy that loads the one in my office, he said the new machine screws will continue to turn until the sensor on the sides of the machine are broken by the item falling past...

So I guess it takes no special skill...

[Blackadar]

Originally Posted by Breeze

Actually, I can answer this...I asked the guy that loads the one in my office, he said the new machine screws will continue to turn until the sensor on the sides of the machine are broken by the item falling past...

So I guess it takes no special skill...

A lot of machines need new sensors then...

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Breeze

Actually, I can answer this...I asked the guy that loads the one in my office, he said the new machine screws will continue to turn until the sensor on the sides of the machine are broken by the item falling past...

So I guess it takes no special skill...

I wonder if this technology pisses off older vending machine loaders who are all like " I remember when there was a skill to this, now anyone can do it!" grumble grumble....

[Logan]

Originally Posted by Lathum

I wonder if this technology pisses off older vending machine loaders who are all like " I remember when there was a skill to this, now anyone can do it!" grumble grumble....

Couldn't have been too many of those old die hards. An enormous technological advancement had to come about just to solve this problem!

[Logan]

Speaking of vending machines and their advancements. RIP Mitch Hedberg...

----

Vending machines are a big part of my life. I like when you reach into the vending machine to grab your candy bar and that flap goes up to block you from reaching up. That’s a good invention. Before that, it was hard times for the vending machine owners. “What candy bar are you getting?” “That one … and every one on the bottom row!”

----

I was going to get a candy bar, the button I was supposed to push was HH. So I went to the side, I found the H button, I pushed it twice. Fuckin’ potato chips came out, man, because they had an HH button. For christ’s sakes, you need to let me know.

----

I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines. It would have to be real fucking big.

----

I like vending machines… because snacks are better when they fall. If I go buy a candy bar in a store, often times I will drop it, so it reaches it’s maximum flavor potential.

[terpkristin]

So I had my fun day of dental work on Monday. For how long am I supposed to do soft foods? He filled a bunch of cavities, did a root canal, a crown, and pulled one of my wisdom teeth. I think the pulled tooth hurts the most, it's hard to tell my mouth feels weird.

/tk

[PilotMan]

OMG, you poor girl. That's awful.

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by Logan

Got this big annual assignment coming up at work, and we bring in resources from all over. I lead a team of 7-8 others and I got an email from one guy reporting next week, saying he wants to let me know that he has a "scheduled wellness day on Thursday 5/8".

I work for the government so I guess I should expect this type of shit but WTF is a scheduled wellness day? It sounds like "I'm going to need some R&R in advance".

I think they have had things like this for years, they're called "vacation days" and furthermore called "it's none of your darn business what I'm doing on my vacation day, be it visiting my son for his wedding day, taking the kids to a doctor appointment, or bumming around the house sans pants and watching every Ernest movie"

SI

[sterlingice]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Talk to lungs...cows+mustard gas sounds like a terroristic plot to poison our cheese supply!

Or it sounds like an awesome new topping for chili dogs! Want mustard but don't want people to think you're weird for putting it on a chili dog? Sneak it in with the cheese!

SI

[JonInMiddleGA]

Discovered today that my cheap but serviceable microphone that I've used to record all manner of things for the past couple of decades has died due to a bend/break right at the connector. I think I paid something like just under $20 for it ages & ages ago, pretty sure I got more than my money's worth out of it.