Facebook posts so pathetic they belong in this thread!!!

[Blackadar]

Trailer trash at its best.

[vex]

Math is hard:


"106 people pass away every minute. That's 6,375 every hour.......One minute can be you. Were not invincible. Sad to see so many people who think we are."

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by vex

Math is hard:


"106 people pass away every minute. That's 6,375 every hour.......One minute can be you. Were not invincible. Sad to see so many people who think we are."

I'm really curious about where they got the extra 15 people???

[Suburban Rhythm]

Wait...are you telling me there's not 60.14 minutes in an hour?

[larrymcg421]

Well if it is 6375 per hour, that translates to 106.25 per minute, so they just rounded down.

[vex]

But the statistic was going off of how many per minute, not hour.

[stevew]

Someone I know and talk to on pretty much a daily basis, but am not facebook friends with got in a serious hit and run accident on her motorcycle. I somehow tracked her down on facebook, which was like super hard cause she had the whitest of white girl type names(think something generic like Amanda Black).

Anyways, I sent her some message like, "Heard you got in an accident...blah...blah....hope you get better soon."

Well then I realize that there's no possible way that a person will actually see this message because we aren't facebook friends. I believe that *maybe* messages from non-friends go to the "Other" folder but I'm not even sure that's where they go. Like on the mobile app I'm pretty sure you can't even access that other folder.

Your Facebook Has Two Inboxes, and You've Probably Missed Messages from the Second

Anyways, I just did more digging on the thing and you can send it to their inbox directly but it costs 1 dollar. That's kind of bonkers.

[korme]

I've gotten FB inbox messages from people that have friend requested me, and I haven't accepted.

[korme]

pfffffffffffffffft

[Suicane75]

I'm going to buy TheHive for 5 billion Bitcoins.

[Bobble]

So, wait, who hands me my burger at the drive-thru? Some giant bug? 'Cause I'm NOT cool with that.

[korme]

I posted your comment, Bobble, and here were these wonderful responses:

Fella: Shane, ideally the hive would run the fast food joint. Sort of like this: Something's Gone Terribly Wrong...

Humans will still do things that humans need to do, but they will choose to do these things on a day to day basis instead of being stuck there for a paycheck. It's difficult to explain right now, but I promise that what's in my head can work.
1 hr · Edited · Like

Fella: The idea is to have employees that want to be there, so they will do a great job. If nobody feels like working at McDonald's today, then McDonald's doesn't open. We would be able to rapidly change our daily priorities to fit with what's going on in the world.

[Bobble]

It boggles the mind that there are people who think that out there, somewhere, are other people who WANT to dig ditches, scoop up elephant poop at the zoo, and hand burgers through the drivethru windows (hopefully not all on the same day -- employees MUST wash hands, no exceptions). Anyway, please promise me, FOFC, that when Hive Law is passed, you'll give me plenty of notice so I can be the first one in the line for the Supermodel Massage Therapist job.

[Lathum]

What if you need an apondectamy and no one feels like being a surgeon that day?

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Suicane75

I'm going to buy TheHive for 5 billion Bitcoins.

I'd offer copies of NetDetective & Maxmium Football first.

[Autumn]

Originally Posted by Bobble

It boggles the mind that there are people who think that out there, somewhere, are other people who WANT to dig ditches, scoop up elephant poop at the zoo, and hand burgers through the drivethru windows (hopefully not all on the same day -- employees MUST wash hands, no exceptions). Anyway, please promise me, FOFC, that when Hive Law is passed, you'll give me plenty of notice so I can be the first one in the line for the Supermodel Massage Therapist job.

I think people actually underestimate the variety of jobs people are interested in doing. Obviously not on the sort of scale that these nuts are talking about, but for years I lived in a cooperative group that divided up all the work of a household and business. We thought we would have trouble with some jobs that nobody wants to do (literally digging a ditch was one of them, as well as washing toilets, dishes, etc.). But in fact we found there was never a job that we had any difficulty finding someone to do. We had several members who actually liked cleaning bathrooms, and all the other crummy jobs. We were surprised, but we never had a problem filling those sort of jobs.

The big difference I think is scale--we were taking care of a home and business that we all had a stake in. A system like that doesn't work on a large scale, and particularly one that nobody feels invested in. Communities used to take care of themselves much more than nowadays because people felt they were theirs, and I think that sense is gone nowadays even in most small towns. There's a big difference between digging your ditch and somebody else's ditch.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Autumn

Communities used to take care of themselves much more than nowadays because people felt they were theirs, and I think that sense is gone nowadays even in most small towns. There's a big difference between digging your ditch and somebody else's ditch.

Mobility has its drawbacks.

[Suburban Rhythm]

This post appeared in my feed, from (guessing) his mother to a guy I worked with about 6 years ago. Don't think we've had any interaction on FB really, and didn't know him all that well from work.

I'm typing exactly as written, other than abbreviating names to protect the innocent

Hi B. I called the last number i have for you Son stored in my cell. It was someone elses number B. I wouldnt have done that on purpose Son. If you dont give me a valid number-there is no way for me to reach you Son. I did have R text M about it and they were texting back n forth. I told R to tell you idk if he did. But i certainly asked R to tell M bcause i know she would have a working number for you bud. I wanted you here B-dont know if i can convince you of that after the fact. But i appreciate A standing up for me-because i certainly called your number dont believe anything else. But it would be nice to have a working number for you. And also i posted this cookout Son on fb for all to see including you bud. You are my Son and your automatically inclusive no invitation is ever needed for family! I know im no bad guy. I tried to bring all of our Fam together-the devil is busy in spite of it but he wont win! Send me your number plz. Thanks again A for standing up for me

[stevew]

Not very happy about chat being crammed onto the messenger app which is set to happen over the next couple days.

[JediKooter]

I love this thread.

[lungs]

That guy (Jesse) that I'd been posting about must have moved on from Katie. He posted a relationship status change the other day, a new girlfriend. Funny thing was one of the comments was said "WTF that is my brother's wife!"

More drama about to unfold? Stay tuned.

[lungs]

dola

oops, looks like he changed it to simply "In a Relationship" instead of in a relationship with a married woman.

[JediKooter]

What could possibly go wrong?

[stevew]

We have this county wide garage sale type site. The other night some chick blew it up because her boyfriend was having an affair with one of the admins. Damn, now I wish I would have screenshotted it cause it was epic "I'll beat your ass bitch" type uic gold.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by stevew

Not very happy about chat being crammed onto the messenger app which is set to happen over the next couple days.

It makes it all but useless.

I must have been one of the lucky ones they chose for the test because chat from within the FB app hasn't worked for me at any point on my recently acquired Galaxy. I've been forced to use the separate app the whole time (ever how many several months that's been)

[StLee]

Originally Posted by stevew

Not very happy about chat being crammed onto the messenger app which is set to happen over the next couple days.

Yeah, I want less of Facebook, not more. It's about time to delete the app from my phone and only check it once a day or so when I use my computer.

[Chief Rum]

So an older female friend of mine (around 60 and looks it) decided to announce on FB that she would no longer wear underwear.

:thread winner:

[cuervo72]

Hmm - a guy on my list said that yesterday. Coincidence, or some hack/joke going around?

[Chief Rum]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

Hmm - a guy on my list said that yesterday. Coincidence, or some hack/joke going around?

Mayhaps the American Cancer Society No Wearing Underwear Challenge? My guess is, Hanes is not a fan.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

Hmm - a guy on my list said that yesterday. Coincidence, or some hack/joke going around?

Oh I know this! It's part of the '2014 breast cancer awareness campaign' or something like that. What happens is you post the status and then you message the following to anyone who likes or comments on it:
Sorry! You should not have liked or commented! Now you have to pick one of the 14 below and post to your status. This is the 2014 breast cancer awareness game. Don't be a spoil sport choose you poison, and change your status 1) Damn diarrhea 2) Just used my boobs to get out of a speeding ticket 3) Anyone have a tampon, I'm out 4) How do you get rid of foot fungus 5) Why is nobody around when I'm horny? 6) No toilet paper goodbye socks! 7)Someone offered me a job as a prostitute but I'm hesitant. 8)I think I'm in love with someone what should I do? 9)I've decided 2 stop wearing underwear. 10)I still love my ex. 11)I really don't know how 2 tell anyone and I'm sick of hiding it I'm gay. 12)Guess it was 2 good 2 b true I'm pregnant. 13)Just won $7000 on a scratchy. 14)I've just found out I've been cheated on for the past 5 months. Post with no explanations. Sorry, I fell for it too.
I did option 2 lol

From Google.

[cuervo72]

That is asinine.

[albionmoonlight]

Glad to see we've finally figured out a way to cure breast cancer.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Where have ya'll been? This is like the 4th year for that same basic gimmick. (It's also used a few times a year by other causes/charities/etc as well)

The viral breast cancer thing started with women posting a single word iirc, specifically a color, as their status. They'd post like "pink", "tan", etc. It was supposed to be the color of their bra and then people would ask "what on earth? Pink what?". And then it just sorta (d)evolved from there.

[jeff061]

Jon always seems to be on the cutting edge of Facebook culture. Which is something I never would have guessed.

[DaddyTorgo]

Originally Posted by jeff061

Jon always seems to be on the cutting edge of Facebook culture. Which is something I never would have guessed.

I don't know if "cutting edge" is exactly the phrasing I'd use...

[cuervo72]

I remember the bra color one, but was aware of nothing since that.

[jeff061]

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

I don't know if "cutting edge" is exactly the phrasing I'd use...

When it comes to Facebook, I set my bar low.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by jeff061

Jon always seems to be on the cutting edge of Facebook culture. Which is something I never would have guessed.

As I described it when getting drawn into helping round up people for our 30 yr HS reunion ... "I'm just the guy who is on FB way too much"

[Suburban Rhythm]

I know I'll come across as an old fart...but that's a ridiculous level of...asininity (word?)

People were bitching about the ALS challenge, but people, you know, actually mentioned ALS and referenced it in the status updates.

How exactly is this bringing awareness without mentioning what we're to be aware of?

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

I know I'll come across as an old fart...but that's a ridiculous level of...asininity (word?)

People were bitching about the ALS challenge, but people, you know, actually mentioned ALS and referenced it in the status updates.

How exactly is this bringing awareness without mentioning what we're to be aware of?

I did the ALS thing, and I think that it has done great and raised a lot of money.

However, we will now all have to sit through a ton of "Wouldn't it be SO funny if this went viral?!?!" games that all justify themselves by making a drive-by reference to "awareness" of some disease.

New ones, and, as Jon noted, old ones that will be resurrected in the wake of the Ice Bucket.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

How exactly is this bringing awareness without mentioning what we're to be aware of?

We're talking about it ain't we?

(In this case though I'm not sure it's an actual organized "thing" -- I haven't seen the whole convoluted one tied to any cause/charity this year until it was mentioned here. I've seen that same one recently w/out any cause, just a screw-with-people status game)

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

We're talking about it ain't we?

(In this case though I'm not sure it's an actual organized "thing" -- I haven't seen the whole convoluted one tied to any cause/charity this year until it was mentioned here. I've seen that same one recently w/out any cause, just a screw-with-people status game)

But I wasn't aware until it was explained here what it was for.

Had I not read this thread, I would have just assumed an inordinate amount of people were now going commando

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

But I wasn't aware until it was explained here what it was for.

Your awareness got heightened here. I've seen the same explanations (and discussions) end up occurring on FB.

Ultimately though ... it's FB. Finding rationale ain't always a productive use of time

[Suburban Rhythm]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Your awareness got heightened here. I've seen the same explanations (and discussions) end up occurring on FB.

Ultimately though ... it's FB. Finding rationale ain't always a productive use of time

In an attempt to rectify this, I'll be starting an awareness awareness campaign, so others, who were confused like me, can be aware of what they're currently unaware of.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

In an attempt to rectify this, I'll be starting an awareness awareness campaign, so others, who were confused like me, can be aware of what they're currently unaware of.

And when it goes viral people will bitch 'cause it did. Be prepared.

[terpkristin]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

I remember the bra color one, but was aware of nothing since that.

There was one recently where someone posted one of three awful stories (including massive diarrhea or something). And if you asked about it, you were then tagged to do the same...I don't think it was for a disease, though.

/tk

[mckerney]

Whoops! Grandmas are tagging themselves as Grandmaster Flash on Facebook - Salon.com

[Galaxy]

Florida mom lets her kids try booze in controlled setting, gets arrested and charged with child neglect | WashingtonExaminer.com

This is why you don't share anything that may cause a reaction on Facebook.

[Ben E Lou]

Because we don't ave a "Facebook posts so wonderful..." thread, I'll post this one, from an old friend:

I'm catching up with 5 year old at bed time tonight. He's tucked in bed looking at me very focused. How was school? What did you do? Who are your friends? The conversation is going and I'm thinking how well I've done tonight engaging him...

"Mom," he says

"Yes?" I ask waiting for the next childhood need/trouble/wonder I can help him with..
.
"I'm touching my balls right now. And when I touch them, they shrink. What's that all about?"

‪#‎thingsyouneedyourdadfor‬

[flere-imsaho]

LOL