ZFL Season 2008

[Coffee Warlord]

Manfred von Richthofen says...

Mein bump!

[JAG]

Week 10

It seems like the current league trend is the widening gap between the top and bottom ZFL teams. Read on...

*****

A tale of two teams traveling totally different routes was told today as Knoxville, winners of 3 straight, battled Chicago, losers of 6 straight, including two heartbreaking overtime losses. The teams were separate in more than just their records, as Chicago has relied heavily upon an unbalanced offense more suited to running and a defense more suited to stopping the pass, while Knoxville’s offense boasts balance with Thumbless throwing and Leon Jackson running, and the defense is mostly average to above average in all areas.

Chicago’s wrecking ball attack was in full effect against Knoxville. Knoxville’s defensive line and linebackers are a solid but not outstanding group, and they couldn’t take the pounding from the great trio of Tom Sanders, Josh Hackenstein, and Randy Steele, yielding 141 yards and 3 TDs. The story on the passing game was a familiar refrain. Chicago, which had scored 20 rushing TDs this year against THREE passing TDs, couldn’t find any consistency against Knoxville. The Eagles’ only real pass receiving option amongst the wideouts, WR O. DeJuan Gavly, was not even thrown to with CB Deion Jackson in smothering coveage, while S Pass it Somewhere Else Jackson was thankful for the soft assignment of taking care of WR Chad Spears.

It would be up to Chicago’s defense, led by their stellar secondary, to slow down the ‘Neck offense to give themselves a chance to win. But for one week at least, Knoxville put to rest talk of how great Chicago’s secondary is. With little pass rush, S Shut Down and CB Sean Sharper were forced to cover for too long and couldn’t keep up with either Jackson Jackson or Luke Jackson. MLB El Capone did a nice job helping out against shorter passes over the middle, but OLB Ray Brown looked overmatched in helping out on curl routes. Both receivers ended up eclipsing 100 yards on the day and totaled 3 TDs (2 for JJ, 1 for LJ). Chicago’s notorious run defense was once again held accountable for another disastrous performance. OG Fort Sumter Jackson was dominant against rookie DT Donovan Lork, and the offensive line in general bullied the Chicago line, allowing Leon Jackson to have his usual good game of 122 yards and 3 TDs. Knoxville continues to put the finishing touches on a fine season as they take care of Chicago with a 42-21 trouncing.

*****

Another pair of teams having completely opposite seasons met as Albuquerque and Cincinnati collided. The Chaps were ready for the season to end and the offseason of hope to begin, while the Isotopes were looking to petition the league for another shot at the two teams that beat them, each by only a touchdown.

Cincinnati’s defense was under siege from the opening gun. OT Ralph Wiggum handled DE Strong Mad adroitly and QB Moe Sizzlack had an easy day, especially when WR Quagmire lined up on CB The Blacksmith. Sizzlack again surpassed the 400 yard mark with 408 yards and 3 TDs. FB Drederick Tatum had an excellent day lead blocking for RB Guy Incognito, whose moves frequently left MLB Fluffy Puff Marshmallow grasping at air. He finished up with 137 yards and 3 TDs. Cincinnati did have some success in the passing game, with WRs Population: Tire and Senor Cardgage each catching TD passes and getting 80+ yards, but the running game ran into The Hammer that is DT Nelson Muntz. Muntz’s big body prevented the Chaps from getting anything inside, which let OLB Kearney flow nicely to the ball when the play was strung out to the sideline. A surprisingly strong effort from the Isotopes’ run defense held Chaps RB Bubs to a piddling 57 yards and no scores. Blowout victory for Albuquerque as Cincinnati stumbles to another loss, 42-14.

*****

A couple of strong running teams battled today when Little Rock’s Rajah-led ground attack squared off against Fargo’s Glutton for Punishment and his Ordinary Guys offensive line. But while Fargo’s running game this year has been fairly impressive, the rest of the team has not been up to snuff (to say the least). Unfortunately for them, today would be no different than the preceding 9 weeks.

Even facing DT Henry Blitzen, Fargo didn’t have a hard time running the ball as OG Ray fought him off enough that Ty Wick and Glutton for Punishment had plenty of daylight to run to. But it was another frustrating day for Fargo’s passing game. While QB El Poopiehead had good protection against DE L.L. JeeberD’s furious pass rush thanks to rookie OT Charlie, he found the passing a bit harder to come by with S Red Herring patrolling the field. Herring finished with an INT off a poorly thrown ball and a few other nice passes defensed, while CB Tommy “TNT” Toothpick also had an INT.

You can imagine what happened on the other side of the ball with Fargo’s overmatched defense facing the R&R attack of the Slick Willies. Little Rock’s offensive duo both were magnificient in leading the offense to victory. RB Rajah Saleem had a field day with Fargo’s defense missing numerous tackles and, despite not getting much of a push up front, finished with 146 yards and 3 TDs. QB Johnny Rotten used his accurate throws to complete some long throws downfield and essentially, Little Rock moved the ball at will against the ‘Fish. Another impressive offensive outburst from the Slick Willies gives them a 42-21 victory and brings them to .500 with a game to go.

*****

Just like the above game, this one also had a drastic mismatch of quarterbacks. QB Bernie Mac has at times hamstrung the Star passing game, while at times Dan McGwire has been the entire El Paso passing game. And today that seemed to be the difference…the triumph of a team effort over an individual.

El Paso was able to find some offensive success running the ball behind bruising FB Rashaan Salaam. Salaam did a great job keeping MLB Brad Pitt off of RB Blair Thomas (102 yards, 2 TDs), allowing him to get to the secondary at times and generally have a strong day. But in something of a surprise, McGwire had great trouble facing the talented Star defense. DEs Toby McGwire and Robert DeNiro feasted on their mismatches with the Buster OTs and each finished with matching a matching 3.5 sacks. In addition, S Ray Liotta completely shut down WR Rae Carruth, while even CB Mia Sorvino had success facing WR Yatil Green. Throw in Brad Pitt and OLB The Real Gus doing a good job patrolling the shorter passes and McGwire had nowhere to go with the ball (when he was upright).

LA came out of the gate running strong behind their talented offensive line. In fact, the line was so good it was the rare play where the Busters’ defensive line didn’t get blown off the ball. MLB Brian Bosworth was a tackling machine this game (19 tackles) mostly because no one else could make a tackle. The Stars mixed up their running plays enough to keep El Paso guessing and had success running all over the line, as was evidenced by RB Rodney Dangerfield scoring three touchdowns, with each coming behind a different offensive lineman (OTs Mathew McConaughey and Freddie Prinze Jr., and OG Howard Stern). Bernie Mac had lots of time to throw the ball, but was off the mark on most of his throws. He did end up with slightly above-average stats because on a short pass he completed to WR Ashton Kucher, Kucher shook off an arm tackle from CB Tommy Knight, juked S Patrick Bates out of his cleats, and sprinted to a 51 yard TD. A good effort from the Busters against an LA team that has done far better than some prognosticators had assumed, but they fall short and lose 28-14 as the Stars improve their record to 7-3.

*****

Pity the offensive players in this game. Two of the toughest defenses in the league squared off today against a pair of offenses that could only be described as Pee-Wee league (well, I guess dysfunctional would also fit well). If you like offense, for the love of God, please stop reading now.

Each team tried to outdo the other in causing pain and suffering to the opposing quarterback. OLB Superman kept lining up outside DE Rocky and was essentially unblockable today, totaling five sacks, with many of them huge hits that really rattled QB Zeus Reloaded. Even worse was the carnage from the Olympian defense facing the Muscle Men offense, as Milwaukee’s poor offensive line was completely overwhelmed by the Birmingham superstars along the defensive line, as the Atlantis DEs combined for 6.5 sacks and the Hera / Cyclopes duo at DT added another 2.5. With both QBs having virtually no time to throw the ball, and with players like CB Patrick Surtain of Milwaukee and S Odysseus of Birmingham providing great coverage on the wideouts, neither team could muster much of anything. Running backs faired little better than the quarterbacks did. OG Troy did a fine job on rookie DT No Name Necessary today, but the linebackers Superman and Zach “Clog the Middle” Thomas were far too active and went unblocked too many times for the Olympians to get their ground game going. For the Muscle Men, the play of the offensive line was so awful and the play of Birmingham’s defensive line was so outstanding, that the Olympian linebackers barely had any work to do. Once again, the talented backfield of Milwaukee couldn’t accomplish anything with multiple defenders in the backfield at a time. Both teams turned in noteworthy defensive gems, as the two teams combined for a pitiful 272 yards of offense and a combined score of 0 at the end of the fourth quarter. Bring on the kickers!

Kicker king Bruce “I’ll kick your butt!” Handily trotted out to meet fellow kicker Uranus, who if you recall had the unfortunate incident in the elephant race earlier this year. And interestingly enough, the contest scheduled for this week involved another race, although not with animals. The playing field turf was removed along the outside portion of the field, revealing a six-foot wide stretch of dirt track as two Harley-Davidson motorcycles were brought onto the field. The kickers would race four laps around the outside of the field, with the first to cross the finish line being the winner. The only twist in the competition was a little jump that was erected just in front of the finish line that the kickers would have to take each lap around the field.

From the start, this looked like a mismatch and it became readily apparent as the kickers mounted their bikes. Handily looked very comfortable while Uranus looked like he would’ve preferred to be riding the elephant again. As the race started, Handily took an early lead by taking a better line on the turns while Uranus was just getting used to the feel of the bike. Handily took the jump and landed with such smoothness that he barely slowed as he completed his first lap. Uranus’ jump, sadly, did not go quite as well. He was unable to control the bike in the air properly and hit front wheel first, causing him to tumble forward off the bike in a crash judges would’ve scored an 8.8. Bruised but with no bones broken, he endeavored to get back on the bike, but by that time, Handily was out to such a huge lead that he changed to a much more conservative riding style and cruised to an easy victory, giving Milwaukee the 3-0 win over Birmingham. As a consolation prize, in memory of his falling off the elephant earlier in the year and his tumble from the bike in his latest mishap, Uranus has been dubbed “Master of Pain”.

*****

Portland vs. San Antonio, this week's feature event...will be coming soon…

[JAG]

dola

Portland vs. San Antonio

A true clash of the titans this week, undefeated Portland taking on once-defeated San Antonio. A win by Portland clinches the revrew trophy and Portland's second title in three seasons, while a Margarita victory puts them in the driver’s seat headed into the final week of the season.

At the start of the game, the two great defenses began to exert themselves almost immediately. Portland QB Paddy O dropped back on the first play looking for star WR Manfred von Richthofen, but as he pulled the ball back, DE All Pro came around OT Lothar von Richthofen and swatted the ball out of the QB's hands. Fumble! MLB Ray Lewis scooped it up and had a clear shot at the end zone, if not for Erik Flamebeard’s heads up (and quite athletic) play, diving at Lewis’ knees and bringing him down at the Portland 15.

With great field position, San Antonio looked to capitalize with a score. Didn’t happen. On second down, DT Captain Bipto of the Military Middle bull-rushed past OG Lone Star and forced up a wobbly pass from Ryan Leaf. Master Hu Li had good coverage on rookie Finlandia The Chilly and picked it off, with his momentum carrying him out of bounds.

Still deep in their own territory, Portland decided to lean on the strength of their team, their outstanding offensive line and running attack. But San Antonio had the answer and his name was Ray Lewis. Dirtpounder would consistently run through holes created by Flamebeard only to find Lewis filling the holes, blasting past rookie FB Mr. Bungle, and ferociously tackling Dirtpounder. For the first time this year, Dirtpounder looked truly intimidated by a defensive player and he started getting more tentative at the line. On fourth and 8, Paddy O had Manfred von Richthofen wide open against CB Bryant Westbrook, but couldn’t hit him as he was taken down again by DE All Pro, putting San Antonio 6 yards from paydirt.

This time, San Antonio pulled out a play straight from their first game this season. Play action pass with Leaf running a bootleg to the right. The fake worked well, except OLB Zoinks McAllister was closing fast on Leaf when he threw a dart to Finlandia. Master Hu Li had good position on the ball, but Cool Finlandia coolly fought him for it and came up with it. 7-0 Margaritas!

Portland shifted their strategy to go with more quick-hitting passes to get The Manchild more involved in the offense. The plan started well, with Richthofen catching consecutive passes for 16 and 13 yards respectively. San Antonio reacted by dropping Ray Lewis deeper into coverage on the plays and by stressing knocking down passes to their defensive linemen. Paddy O didn’t react well to the changes, misfiring on a couple of balls, having one knocked down by All Pro, and finally having a fourth down throw picked off by Ray Lewis.

The Margaritas sensed they had the advantage and move to pound the ball. The Military Middle made running up the gut a challenge, but on the edge, the Sea Biscuits were more vulnerable. FB Teeny did a good job keeping RB Mutt clear of the Portland linebackers, and the Margaritas slowed the pace of the game down while picking up yards. Finally, on the Portland 4 yard line, OG Lone Star finally was able to clear out DT Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III, allowing Teeny to get a body on Sectoid Commander and keeping him off Mutt, who dove in for San Antonio’s second score on the day.

More disaster struck for the Sea Biscuits on the next play. Paddy O went back to throw another quick one to Richthofen when Westbrook broke on the pass. Interception! A great read by Westbrook, who was immediately dropped by Richthofen, but not before Paddy O had thrown his second pick in the first half. The short field allowed San Antonio to pound in another score behind Lone Star and take a 21-0 lead, an almost insurmountable lead with their defense.

The second half of the game was fairly lackluster compared with the first half. Portland’s defense stiffened and didn’t allow the Margaritas any further scores, but San Antonio’s defense held stout as well and continued to frustrate the Sea Biscuits. When the final gun sounded, the final score was the same as the halftime score. San Antonio knocks off unbeaten Portland 21-0 and takes the lead in the standings with one week to go in the season.

*****

So San Antonio moves ahead of Portland in the race for the title. But it’s not over yet. Next week Portland should have an easy win facing the Chaps, but the Margaritas face a tough defense with the Olympians coming to town. As you may recall from earlier this year, the Margaritas lost for the first time in two seasons to a team very similar in defensive style to the Olympians. Stay tuned for the completion of the season…coming soon.

Standings after Week 10

SA 9-1 (45)
PT 9-1 (119)
AQ 8-2 (238)
KX 7-3 (248) (won head to head vs. LA)
LA 7-3 (175)
MW 6-4 (84)
LR 5-5 (213)
BH 4-6 (104)
CH 2-8 (251)
EP 2-8 (290)
CN 1-9 (350)
FG 0-10 (385)

[sachmo71]

WOW!

[Coffee Warlord]

Told ya! Surprised we lost THAT bad, but I knew it.

[tucker342]

ouch... this season has been one hell of a big bust...

[JeeberD]

Bumpsters!

[JeeberD]

More bumpies?

[JAG]

It's coming today. I've been busy, but it's been too long. No sleep tonight until it's done.

EDIT: well, not quite...but ASAP it will be finished (should be Wed. morning).

[JAG]

Week 11

*****

A hard fought game with a heart-warming tale was played between the Milwaukee Muscle Men and Little Rock Slick Willies, the two teams making up the middle of the ZFL standings. Both teams have some solid core players giving them hope to take another step up the standings for the upcoming season. But both teams clearly wanted very badly to get that last win to carry over for next year.

Despite Little Rock’s offensive stars, the game quickly became a defensive struggle. OLB Superman was mainly tasked with containing RB Rajah Saleem and he was able to keep him fairly bottled up on the day. DT No Name Necessary put the finishing touches on a fine rookie campaign in making plays in the middle on Saleem and also in getting a good pass rush on Johnny Rotten. But on the other side of the ball, S Red Herring made his own bid for DROY by laying such punishing hits on WR Lightning of the Muscle Men that Lightning essentially started giving up on his routes. That wasn’t the only problem for Milwaukee’s passing game as Henry Blitzen and L.L. JeeberD came up big with 6 sacks on the day and were a constant disruptive force.

So why was this game a heart-warming tale? In the third quarter, Milwaukee got the ball on the Little Rock 35 as a result of a sack and forced fumble by Superman that was recovered by Zach “Clog the Middle” Thomas. A quick pass to Nothing But Touchdowns gained 12 yards and two runs by Ricky Williams behind the blocking of FB Bulldozer yielded another 18 and gave Milwaukee a 1st and goal. Now, the Milwaukee offensive line has been much maligned all year long and taking the brunt of that was OT No Sacks Allowed, who went from star to ordinary cog with his offseason injury. On this 1st and goal play, No Sacks Allowed channeled his play from last year and drove rookie DE L.L. AnotherJeeberD off the line with a surprisingly powerful effort, giving Ricky Williams enough room to burst to the 2 yard line where OLB Little Ray’s arm tackle wasn’t enough to bring Williams down before he scooted into the end zone for the game’s only score. Milwaukee wins 7-0 and finishes at 7-4 while Little Rock has its second consecutive 5-6 season.

*****

In one of two games with significance in determining the ZFL champion for the year, Portland needed a win over Cincinnati to stay in contention, as a loss would give San Antonio the title without even needing a win over Birmingham. Fortunately, this was not exactly a tall order.

Portland’s offense put pressure on the Chaps early as the Portland line blew the Cinci defensive line away. Dirtpounder ended up averaging 6 yards a carry and on most plays didn’t run into traffic until he was 3-4 yards down the field. QB Paddy O had a fine game with little pass rush to worry about (OT Leonardo Ruiz Al Elvaro pitched a shutout against Strong Mad) and WR Manfred von Richthofen benefited greatly from it, torching CB The Blacksmith for 162 yards and 2 TDs. Cincinnati’s offense didn’t fair nearly so well. The running game was non-existant as the middle of the Chap OL was far out-classed by the Military Middle. This made things very difficult for Cincinnati QB Mr Shmallow, who did what he could, but ultimately had only moderate success against Portland by completing passes for 200 yards and a TD, but marred by two INTs (one by CB Master Hu Li, who would finish as the league leader in INTs) as Portland breezed to an easy 35-7 win. A final disastrous performance by the Chaps to close out the season and clinch the 2nd overall pick in the draft, while Portland had to wait and see how San Antonio would fair against the Olympians.

*****

And the only reason Cincinnati wouldn’t get the first pick in the draft this year is because Fargo already laid claim to that ‘honor’. Chicago had barely had a better season, with only a couple of wins against some lightly regarded teams providing the balance of their victories. Still, they looked to beating Fargo as a way to springboard them into next season.

Both teams shined on the ground in this game. Chicago’s El Capone tried as he might to contain Fargo’s Glutton for Punishment with his 14 tackles, but without much help from his teammates, he was left to watch GFP pound out yards easily behind the Ordinary Guys OG Ray and OT Charlie. Not only that, the ‘Fish, figuring they had little to lose, gave FB Ty Wick a number of carries on the day and he didn’t disappoint with an 8 ypc average on 8 runs and a TD to go along with GFP’s 103 yards and 2 TDs. Chicago’s running game was just as impressive. OG Tom Sanders finished off another stellar season pancaking Fargo star DT The Defense four times and RB Randy Steele had a huge game running behind FB Josh Hackensetein against the soft ‘Fish defense finishing with 171 yards and 3 TDs. Now both teams had also struggled mightily all year trying to generate any passing offense. Only one team would be able to get something going today and prevent the game from going to overtime.

And that team was Chicago. QB Mike “Air” Marino was finally able to show off his talent facing a weak pass rush and poor pass defenders, as he was able to complete passes for 210 yards, including a TD strike to rookie WR O. DeJuan Gavly and a short one to FB Josh Hackenstein. Fargo’s beleaguered rookie QB El Poopiehead finished off a miserable season with a 130 yards 2 interception effort thanks mainly to the Chicago secondary tandem of S Shut Down and CB Sean Sharper and MLB El Capone doing a stand-up job covering backs on passing routes. Fargo completes their perfect 0-11 season while Chicago finishes up with 3 wins as the season ends for both teams with a 35-21 Eagles win.

*****

Elsewhere, Albuqueque was looking to finish up their fine season in third place (guaranteed only with a win) against the LA Stars. The Albuquerque passing game had terrorized teams all year, but facing the triumvirate of Ray Liota, Brad Pitt, and Toby McGwire, would that trend continue?

As usual for the Stars, their passing game provided little spark with Bernie Mac throwing his inaccurate passes despite a pretty good game for Ashton Kucher overall (8 catches for 102 yards over rookie CB James L. Brooks). But unfortunately for the Isotopes, Rodney Dangerfield led a strong running effort, churning out yards behind his talented offensive line. Worthy of note was OG Howard Stern doing a good job slowing down DT Nelson “The Hammer’ Muntz from clogging up the middle, allowing Dangerfield to find holes all along the trenches. He finished with 148 yards and 3 TDs. That might’ve been enough against most teams, but for the high-powered Isotopes, it wasn’t enough.

The real hero of the day for the Isotopes was OT Ralph Wiggum, who had one of the toughest match-ups of the day in facing DE Toby “Spiderman” McGwire. Wiggum showed why he is one of the premier offensive tackles in the ZFL by holding McGwire to one tackle on the day and giving Moe Sizzlack time to hit his receivers. Wiggum also plowed McGwire out of the way on the Isotopes’ only score on the ground, a 6 yard scamper by RB Guy Incognito (although give Brad Pitt credit, because he single-handedly kept Incognito from taking over the game with 13 tackles). With enough time to throw, Sizzlack was able to hit Quagmire for 2 TDs and The Cheat for another, giving the Isotopes just enough to get by the Stars 28-21 for their 9th victory on the year.

*****

El Paso met up with Knoxville in one of the worst mismatches of the week. The Busters had had a season to forget with only wins over Fargo and Cincinnati to build on, while Knoxville had a solid season at 7-3 led by their powerful offense. Surely this would be a forgettable game to finish off both team’s seasons.

And sure enough, El Paso’s defense did little to hamper the ‘Neck offense. MLB Brian Bosworth had a strong game trying to contain Leon Jackson (17 tackles) but his teammates so thoroughly let him down that Leon still managed to crank out 104 yards and 2 TDs. Thumbless had an even easier day throwing the ball to his two talented targets Luke and Jackson Jackkson. Facing little to no pass rush and with his receivers clearly outclassing the coverage, Thumbless had a huge day, throwing for 352 yards and 3 TDs.

El Paso faced long odds to equal such scoring output, but the offense stepped it up today behind the leadership of QB Dan McGwire. McGwire led a potent air attack, garnering 250 which opened up the ‘Neck defense for the running game to shine. Rookie MLB Opie Jackson was in good position to make plays on RB Blair Thomas, but a great day of blocking from FB Rashaan Salaam let Thomas run free into the secondary. Two TDs from Thomas, a TD from Salaam, and a TD catch by Rae “I’m Innocent!” Carruth had El Paso behind by a TD for most of the 4th quarter. With under a minute to go and the Busters with a final chance to bring the game to overtime, McGwire directed one of his finest drives of the season, hitting Salaam with a pair of short passes that each went for 14 yards and Carruth on a nice 18-yard sideline pass. On the Knoxville 11, McGwire looked to Carruth but had to turn away as he was blanketed by CB Deion Jackson who had already picked him off once in the game. DT Josiah Jackson fought through a block and laid a hand on McGwire just as he fired a bullet to little used WR Yatil Green for the game-tying touchdown. The Knoxville sideline deflated as they realized what the tie game meant…bring on the kickers!

Kicker Eli Manning has had a season to forget and would have an uphill struggle to defeat Buster kicker Scott ‘Missin’ Sisson, who had one loss earlier on the season to Sir Gary Coleman, who had been strong all year long. And strength would be the theme for the gladiator duel of the day as the two kickers would square off in a ‘Test Your Strength’ battle set up just like the carnival game of old. Two oversized mallets were passed out to each kicker to see who could get the bell to ring or get the counter highest up on the pole.

Scott ‘Missin’’ Sisson, true to his name, actually missed the plunger on his first swing, but fortunately it didn’t cost him a turn and he swung again. The counter rose to 8 on the pole (out of 10) and settled back down.

On Manning’s first swing, he too rang an 8.

Sisson altered his approach for his second swing, running up to get a little momentum. It seemed to work for him as he was able to improve to a 9.

Manning tried to use the same approach, but it ended up disrupting his rhythm and he had to settle for a 7. Was Knoxville going to end their fine season on the wrong side of another kicking duel? Would Manning return to Knoxville only to be tar-and-feathered for his performance this year?

For Sisson’s final swing, he arched his back to a grotesque angle and then sprung his body forward. The mallet clanged down and the counter rose…8…9…9.5…so close, but no bell. With that swing, Manning would have to manage to ring the bell to win.

This time, Manning improvised a bit himself. Unlike his previous swings, for this one he dropped back as if to throw a pass, holding the mallet cocked behind his body. When he swung, he let the mallet drift closer to him before bringing it back behind him again and whipping it onto the plunger. The sound echoed throughout the stadium and the counter flew up…and rung the bell! Manning and Knoxville win!

Another heartbreaker of a loss for El Paso against a topnotch team, but there’s certainly some hope for the future of their franchise, especially with a pair of first round picks on the horizon. But the present belongs to Knoxville who finish off a fine season 8-3 in fourth place with a 38-35 victory.

*****

Finally, we have the last game of the season and the one to decide the winner of the revrew trophy. A victory by San Antonio would clinch back-to-back titles for the Margaritas, while a win by Birmingham would deliver the season championship to Portland. A tough defensive struggle was expected for both sides today as the two teams boasted perhaps the two best defensive lines in all the ZFL. Sure enough, that’s exactly what transpired.

The entire first half was an exercise in offensive futility. QB Ryan Leaf found getting the ball downfield difficult with Atlantis and Another Atlantis bearing down on him. HB Roman’s play for the half could be termed the Fall of Rome as MLB Ray Lewis consistently brought him down for little gain. OG Lone Star helped RB Mutt clear a little space in the middle of the Olympian defense, but even as he took DT Hera out of a number of plays, DT Cyclopes was there to disrupt the Margarita running game. QB Zeus Reloaded was under constant pressure with DE All Pro winning more than his fair share of battles against OT Cronus. Both teams went into halftime preparing to make adjustments to improve on their performances.

San Antonio realized the futility of trying to use their usual passing attack and decided to opt for shorter routes and more 3-step drops to minimize the pass rush off the edge. This helped breathe new life into the Margarita offense, as Leaf began to click on some of the shorter routes. Finally towards the end of the third, they got a semblance of a drive going with an 8-yard out to Finlandia the Chlly who was blasted by S Odysseus but managed to hold onto the ball and a 15-yard completion to Primetime moving them to the Olympian 31 yard line. But the drive stalled when DT Cyclopes stuffed an attempted 4th and 3 run up the middle. The Birmingham plan in the third had been similar to that of the Margaritas, but they were unable to execute it as well, mainly due to the presense of Ray Lewis. San Antonio used him all over the field, coming off quick blitzes and sometimes covering short passes to the wideouts. Zeus Reloaded could only look on with disgust as his 3rd and 12 pass to WR Arnold Schwartzeneggar was picked off by a leaping Lewis and returned to the Olympian 14. Things looked grim for Birmingham as the third quarter came to a close.

On the first play of the fourth, the Margaritas called for a pass. Faking a quick throw, Leaf turned to hit WR Finlandia the Chilly, but had to pull back due to Odysseus’ coverage. As Another Atlantis rounded OT Two Ton Anchor, Leaf spotted an open Primetime and threw his direction before the defensive end could take him down. CB Hektor was too late getting to Primetime and the veteran hauled in the pass for the game’s first touchdown. San Antonio 7, Birmingham 0.

Birmingham tried to turn things around on their next possession with a first down run by Roman going for 14 yards as he followed a great clear-out block by Another Troy. On the very next play, another handoff to Roman, DT Aragorn crashed through the line and stripped Roman of the ball. A huge pileup ensued and it took a few minutes to get everyone off to figure out who had the ball. After clearing away the bodies, only one remained: DT Sack U, holding the football. Margarita ball deep in Olympian territory!

San Antonio shifted to its ground game. Ineffective in the first half, this time they moved FB Teeny close to the line so he would have a chance to double-team Cyclopes as Lone Star handled DT Hera. This worked to perfection, as Mutt was able to beat Excaliber with a cut to the outside and reeled off a 20 yard run. On first and goal, the Margaritas drew up the same play, held off the Olympian DTs, and watched as Mutt bowled Excaliber over and into the end zone for his only touchdown on the day. 14-0 Margaritas.

The Olympians would have two more possessions in the fourth quarter, but their offense wasn’t any more capable than they were earlier in the game. San Antonio completes its title defense and slams the door on another amazing defensive season with its seventh consecutive shutout and a 14-0 win over Birmingham. Congratulations San Antonio!

Final Standings for 2008

SA 10-1 (45) (won head-to-head)
PT 10-1 (126)
AQ 9-2 (259)
KX 8-3 (283)
LA 7-4 (203) (won head-to-head)
MW 7-4 (84)
LR 5-6 (220)
BH 4-7 (118)
CH 3-8 (272)
EP 2-9 (328)
CN 1-10 (385)
FG 0-11 (420)


Coming soon: League Leaders, ZFL 1st and 2nd All-Pro teams, Awards, and Pro Bowl voting.

Coming after that: Proposed changes for the upcoming year (including one very interesting proposal inspired by revrew).

[sachmo71]

[digamma]

Eli saves face!

Congrats sachmo!

[Coffee Warlord]

We'll get you yet sach. Portland will reclaim their crown. Oh yes.

Until then, congrats!

[sachmo71]

thanks, guys!

[JeeberD]

Congrats Sachmo!

Damn that Missin' Sisson...

[tucker342]

Congrats sachmo!

[NevStar]

congrats margaritas

[illinifan999]

Congrats!

[JAG]

Quite a few familiar names taking their place at the head of the lists, but there are a fair share of newcomers as well.

ZFL Year-end Awards

Rushing TD leaders:
HB Rodney Dangerfield - LA
HB Lothar Dirtpounder - PT
HB Rajah Saleem - LR

Rushing yards leaders:
HB Rodney Dangerfield - LA
HB Rajah Saleem - LR
HB Lothar Dirtpounder - PT

Passing TD leaders:
QB Moe Sizzlack – AQ (by one TD)
QB Thumbless Jackson - KX
QB Dan McGwire - EP

Passing Yardage leaders:
QB Thumbless Jackson - KX
QB Moe Sizzlack - AQ
QB Dan McGwire - EP

Receiving TD leaders:
WR Jackson Jackson - KX
WR The Cheat - AQ
WR Luke Jackson - KX

Receiving yards leaders:
WR Jackson Jackson - KX
WR Manfred von Richthofen - PT
WR Senor Cardcage - CN

Pancake blocks:
OG Tom Sanders - CH
OG Erik Flamebeard - PT
OG Another Troy – BH

Fewest Sacks Allowed:
OT Ralph Wiggum – AQ
OT Leonardo Ruiz El Alvaro - PT
OT Freddie Prinze Jr. - LA

Tackles:
MLB Brian Bosworth - EP
MLB El Capone - CH
MLB Brad Pitt - LA

Sacks:
DE All Pro - SA
DE Toby McGwire - LA
OLB Superman - MW

INTs:
CB Master Hu Li - PT
S Red Herring - LR
S Odysseus - BH


OPOY: QB Moe Sizzlack - AQ
DPOY: MLB Ray Lewis - SA

OROY: QB Dan McGwire - EP
DROY: DT No Name Necessary - MW

MVP: QB Moe Sizzlack - AQ

[JAG]

All ZFL First Team
QB: Moe Sizzlack - AQ
HB: Rodney Dangerfield - LA
FB: Rashaan Salaam - EP
WR: Jackson Jackson - KX
WR: Manfred von Richthofen - PT
OT: Leonardo Ruiz Al Elvaro - PT
OT: Ralph Wiggum - AQ
OG: Erik Flamebeard - PT
OG: Tom Sanders - CH

DT: Colonel Joseph C. McCormick III - PT
DT: No Name Necessary - MW
MLB: Ray Lewis - SA
OLB: Superman - MW
DE: All Pro - SA
DE: Toby McGwire - LA
SF: Shut Down - CH
CB: Master Hu Li - PT

K: Sir Gary Coleman - AQ


All ZFL Second Team
QB: Thumbless Jackson - KX
HB: Lothar Dirtpounder - PT
FB: Josh Hackenstein - CH
WR: Luke Jackson - KX
WR: The Cheat - AQ
OT: Freddie Prinze, Jr. - LA
OT: Charlie - FG
OG: Lone Star - SA
OG: Fort Sumter Jackson - KX

DT: Captain Bipto - PT
DT: Sack U - SA
MLB: Brian Bosworth - EP
OLB: Aristotle - BH
DE: Another Atlantis - BH
DE: L.L.JeeberD - LR
SF: Red Herring - LR
CB: Sean Sharper - CH

K: Bruce Handily - MW


Next up: Pro Bowl voting (new thread will be up later)

[Coffee Warlord]

By the way JAG.

Now that you've got a season under your belt, lllow me to once again extend kudos for picking up the reigns and keeping the ZFL alive.

And if you injure any of my players, I'm gonna cut ya.

[JAG]

Thanks CW. And, uh.......*scrambles to redo the offseason injuries*

Hopefully things'll go smoother and quicker the second season. Things were getting easier overall towards the end of the season although I had less time. I have an idea or two for that that should improve things for the next season that I'll mention when I go over some potential upcoming improvements / changes.

[revrew]

Nice work, JAG, and congrats, sachmo. 45 points allowed? Dang.

[sachmo71]

Thanks, Rev! Good to see ya!