Izulde's Grad School Quest: An RL Dynasty

[Izulde]

Barkeep49: Thanks and I agree about the reward thing. It's not the academics that's killing me (outside of Stats) so much as it is the social aspect and well, with one of my best friends passing away Friday as I found out Sunday, it's going to make the final 5-6 weeks that much rougher. But I'll definitely gut it out.

Cap Ologist: I'd have definitely said that before Sunday, but this death's proving a lot tougher to deal with than I thought. I'll keep trying to cowboy up, though and I''m sure things will work out for the best in the end.

Incidentally, ran across one of my rec letter writers today and he said I should be hearing -very- soon from the grad schools, his guess is within the next week or two.

Sure hope he's right.

[Cap Ologist]

Didn't realize you'd lost a friend, crawling back into a hole now.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Cap Ologist

Didn't realize you'd lost a friend, crawling back into a hole now.

It's okay. I had a thread about it in General Discussions, but it wasn't obvious from the thread title what it was about, so you just didn't catch it apparently.

[Izulde]

Oregon State:
REJECTED.

[Izulde]

May 17th is Graduation Day and I've been trying to enjoy the last few weeks of my undergrad career, but I haven't wholly been able to.

This waiting has been driving me insane and I've taken to a diet of clove cigarettes and Code Red. Keep rotating music listening between 50s/60s doo-wop, 90s R&B and eurodance and 00s boy bands and K-pop.

SJSU in particular has me nervous, because their TA training is in May and I still haven't heard from them. I'll be honest, if I don't get a TAship from them, I don't go, because I can't afford living in San Jose and paying tuition without it.

A month ago I was pretty sure of my chances of getting into at least two of these three schools, but after Oregon State rejected me, I'm starting to get paranoid I'm not good enough and there's two more rejection letters waiting with my name on them.

I'm trying to be nice and fatalistic about the whole thing, but it's just not working right now.

On the bright side, it's been easy academically this semester, save for Stats because I have this mental block with math and I'm actually thankful for classes because they pass the time.

[Cap Ologist]

Perhaps writing about Nick and Melody would be soothing.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Cap Ologist

Perhaps writing about Nick and Melody would be soothing.

We're actually down to the endgame, as you've no doubt seen.

Won't be too long before the dynasty's done.

[Cap Ologist]

I know, so get your ass up and writing.

[Izulde]

Remember how Oregon State rejected me?

Well, today I get an e-mail from Oregon State!

"Congratulations, I. Zulde you've been given a financial aid award package. Please login and view your award to accept or reject it."

...Yeah, okay.

I go to check to see what the award is, just to get an idea of what I might receive from schools that actually, you know, accept me.

...Only I can't.

Because I don't have a Student ID number, because they never accepted me.

And yet, I have a financial aid award package!

[Izulde]

I GOT ACCEPTED BY ARKANSAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They said they'll have to do some negotiating to try and get me an assistantship, but that I definitely qualify for it.

[MJ4H]

!!

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by MattJones4Heisman

!!

What a great, great 24+ hours it's been since I got that email.

I'm going to be a Razorback!

[Izulde]

I received notice today that I've also been accepted by San Jose State, which is really awesome, but considering the English Department said there's no assistantships available for incoming students and that the earliest chance I'd get would be Spring, it's pretty much a given for Arkansas.

The only temptation that might come is if the assistantship falls through at Arkansas and I really get wowed by San Jose State's program when I check out the campus, as I plan to visit both campuses.

Of course, if San Jose State's program were at San Diego State instead, then I'd have a genuine dilemma on my hands.

[Izulde]

Change in Directors has no effect on my assistantship chances, yay!

Still playing the waiting game to hear whether I have it or not, though.

[Izulde]

Looks like I may not be going.

I'm not getting an assistantship.

[Barkeep49]

Oh man

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Barkeep49

Oh man

Thanks. I'm doing some more funding hunting, though and haven't given up on going this fall yet.

And I've already got a backup plan in mind in case I have to sit out a year.

[Izulde]

I qualify to apply for a fellowship which would cover my tuition if I get it.

Would still leave me to come up with money for books, housing, food, et. al., but it'd be a huge, huge load taken care of.

[Barkeep49]

That would be awesome.

[RPI-Fan]

Don't you typically have to compete against people who already have assistantships to get a fellowship?

[Izulde]

Barkeep49: Indeed it would.

RPI-Fan: For most fellowships, yes that's the case. However, this particular fellowship has one of its requirements that applicants not already have an assistantship, a full-time job at the University, or another tuition-paying scholarship.

[RPI-Fan]

Nice! When will you find out whether you're successful or not? What's your backup plan? Did you apply to Master's or PhD program?

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by RPI-Fan

Nice! When will you find out whether you're successful or not? What's your backup plan? Did you apply to Master's or PhD program?

Late June/early July.

Backup plan is to sit out a year, visit Arkansas, Kentucky and Florida for sure this summer, maybe South Florida as well, and whichever school I like best, move to that state and work a year to establish state residency, then apply to the round of schools again next year, including Wake Forest probably.

Master's program because 1) I'm not sure if I want to go ahead and get a PhD, 2) For community college teaching, which is what I'd rather do, you only need a Master's and 3) I'll be 29 next month. My mom will be 58 next month and my dad turns 75 Saturday. I'd really like to have a job and get established somewhere before they pass on.

If I was younger, maybe I'd give a lot more thought to the PhD and university teaching, but then I think about all the problems that come with university life, particularly the publish-or-perish phenomenon and it's just like, no, I don't want to be a part of that.

Besides, I'd rather write literature than research and write scholarly articles about it, which plays into the whole community college vs. university teaching as well.

Of course, that's not to say that I won't ever get my PhD. Getting my MFA at some point is a possibility as well, particularly if I find myself missing university life after teaching community college a few years, because MA + MFA = much stronger possibility of teaching university than MFA alone and there the publish or perish phenomenon would tie into creative writing, which is what I'd be doing.

So yeah, very long-winded answer. Sorry about that.

[Izulde]

Summer job hunting has been absolutely brutal. I've got a few part-time jobs that offer very limited hours and not much in the way of pay. I've tried temp agencies to get something full-time, but my hometown has the highest unemployment in the state so competition is fierce.

A small bit of sunshine, today, though. The Graduate Director for English at UArk got back to me and they're willing to nominate me for the fellowship.

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by Izulde

Summer job hunting has been absolutely brutal. I've got a few part-time jobs that offer very limited hours and not much in the way of pay. I've tried temp agencies to get something full-time, but my hometown has the highest unemployment in the state so competition is fierce.

A small bit of sunshine, today, though. The Graduate Director for English at UArk got back to me and they're willing to nominate me for the fellowship.

Sweet! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you

And good luck with the job search...

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by oliegirl

Sweet! I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you

And good luck with the job search...

Thanks My guess is though that I'll end up working like two or three different part-time jobs this summer because FT temporary employment is virtually impossible where I live.

[Izulde]

In Fayetteville. Exhausted. Doing Wisconsin to Arkansas in one day = not a good idea.

Will write more tomorrow.

[MJ4H]

Hey bro. PM me if you need anything.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by MattJones4Heisman

Hey bro. PM me if you need anything.

Thanks. I'd suggest a mini-FOFC meet but I'm going to be dashing here and there and everywhere trying to get in as much as I can before my 3 pm appointment at the University and then I'm headed out shortly after to start the trek back home.

Too short a trip, I know.

And a deluge of rain on top of my only day here this go-round!

[Izulde]

Pretty campus and I liked the town (Jim's Razorback Pizza is delicious), but for whatever reason I just wasn't feeling it and on top of it, I got a really bad vibe when I was in the English building.

So chances are, I probably won't be going to UArk even if I get the fellowship, but that's why it's recommended to make campus visits.

Anyhow, now my likely course is going to be to visit University of Florida, University of Kentucky, Wake Forest and possibly South Florida in July.

There's some other options I'm considering as well, but I'll take the time to think more about them.

[MJ4H]

wat

[sovereignstar]

Originally Posted by MattJones4Heisman

wat

lol

i luv u

[Izulde]

MattJones4Heisman: Sorry, man. I just got a really bad vibe when I was in Kimpel to where it was like, I wouldn't be happy at Arkansas. The last time I didn't listen to that kind of vibe was at Minnesota and it took me 11 years to erase that nightmare. It's nothing against the University or Fayetteville, it's just one of those cases where it's not meant to be.

sovereignstar:

[MJ4H]

haha Kimpel hall sucks. There was a shooting in there about 6 or 7 years ago I think. I guess if that's where you were going to spend most of your time, I can see that. The rest of the campus rules though.

[Izulde]

Arkansas just called and offered me an assistantship.

Things just got a hell of a lot tougher.

[Izulde]

dola,

It's 2 classes in the fall, 2 in the spring, full tuition waiver and $9900 yearly stipend.

[Swaggs]

If this particular degree is what you are looking for, I would say go ahead and take the plunge. The job market isn't that great right now and, if you plan on earning this degree at some point in your life, it will be much easier for you to survive on $9,900 (+ some minimal loans, I'd imagine) than to go out and start making decent money AND THEN going back to eating mac and cheese four times a week.

Even if you don't love the campus/area, how long is your program? 2-3 years? You can survive that easily.

[Izulde]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

If this particular degree is what you are looking for, I would say go ahead and take the plunge. The job market isn't that great right now and, if you plan on earning this degree at some point in your life, it will be much easier for you to survive on $9,900 (+ some minimal loans, I'd imagine) than to go out and start making decent money AND THEN going back to eating mac and cheese four times a week.

Even if you don't love the campus/area, how long is your program? 2-3 years? You can survive that easily.

Good points. Plus, it's awfully hard to turn down the teaching experience. I mean, I'm getting to teach two sections right off the bat. That doesn't happen in a lot of places.

I've got a literally a day or two to think about it. I'm going to do lot of walking, talking and thinking, that's for sure.

[Izulde]

It's been over a year now since I finally decided to take that assistantship at Arkansas and go.

And a year later, despite my anxieties and uncertainties at certain points, I'm glad I took it. It was a great year academically, as I currently have a 4.0 through two semesters and strange as it sounds for me to use the word, professionally. I loved teaching (except grading) and I'd definitely have found it difficult to enjoy working like 20 hours a week in a writing lab or some such thing the first year, like with a lot of other programs. Of course, being highly rated by both the students and my reviewers helps, too.

I'm still trying to figure out my exact thesis topic. I was going to do it on passing and have a readings course set up for it this fall, but I'm not sure that's what I want to do. I do need to decide soon, though.

I also have to brush up on my German and finally take that language proficiency exam to get that out of the way.

And....

I also need to to do some refining of my writing samples. Because I'll be applying for my MFA in Creative Writing at various schools. I know that if I don't, it'll be like Princeton back in high school all over again, where I've been haunted ever since by the question of 'What If?' Sadly, Princeton doesn't have an MFA program or I'd be applying there right quick.

[Izulde]

This semester's been a tough one so far, thanks to my schedule setup and the courses I'm taking and teaching. I've also been pretty isolated, which doesn't help matters. But if I can get through this semester, hopefully with my 4.0 still intact, a good start on my thesis, and the German reading proficiency exam -finally- out of the way, my last semester is shaping up to be a thing of beauty.

I'll only have one class to take next semester and it's an elective, based on how I have it mapped out. I already know which class I'll be taking, I think, though there's quite a few tempting options on the list. The rest of the hours are thesis hours. I'll also hopefully be teaching World Lit next semester like I've been wanting to since I came to campus, but if not, I'll teach Comp II like I did last spring.

But the biggest reason I'm updating this thread is because it's time to start looking at MFA programs again. In my darker moments this semester, I've pondered not applying to any and just graduating in May, but, as I said in the last post, if I don't, it'll be like Princeton back in high school all over again.

I've already secured one letter of recommendation and I need to check with a second letter of recommendation writer to make certain they'll still be able to do it.

As for the writing sample, I've been going back and forth between a section of a novel versus two short stories. But I need to decide very soon and start polishing the hell out of the writing sample I'm submitting, as a lot of schools have early December deadlines and it's already mid-October.

Next update will be a re-visitation of possible schools. Some things have changed since the last time I went through this process.

[Izulde]

I've been smoking a little more heavily again as stress levels ramp up with the rush of semester's end, the wiring *still* not fixed because the apartment complex's maintanence people insist there's nothing wrong, and the recent cockroach invasion of our apartment. And some other stuff, too.

On the MFA front, I've got two schools for certain on the list. Need to choose three more by the end of the week and keep polishing my writing sample, which I've been working periodically on when I can manage it.

I've set December 15th as the target to have at least two of the applications done and taken care of.

[Izulde]

List of five schools is in hand. Four of them have Feb. 1st application deadlines, one has the time-crunching Dec. 1st deadline.

A few of them don't offer great financial aid, but that just means I'll be that much more gung-ho about getting what sources are available if I get into and choose to go to one of those schools.

[Izulde]

So I've applied to UC-San Diego and am applying to Columbia University, Old Dominion University, University of Virginia and McNeese State.

They all have things about them that attract me, though I obviously have a ranking list in mind, which I won't reveal here. As far as my chances of getting in.. let's just say that getting into an MFA in Creative Program is going to be difficult no matter which one you apply to. It's that competitive.

That said, the most selective school on my list is the University of Virginia. 630 applications for less than 10 spots, but then, you might expect that from a program that's one of the Top 5 in the country. Iowa still remains the gold standard, but I have absolutely no interest in Iowa. Columbia, as a point of comparison, typically has 600 applications and accepts 80-90.

As far as funding, all of these departments offer teaching assistantships and/or fellowships that I'd have a good shot at, although most of Columbia's aid doesn't kick in until the second year.

Deadlines:
UC-San Diego - December 1st (applied already obviously)
Columbia - January 2nd
Old Dominion - February 15th
Virginia - January 4th
McNeese State - 30 days prior to registration

So after I get all these applications done, I'll basically be freaking out with nervousness until April.

[Izulde]

After a long conversation with myself this weekend, I've dropped Virginia from the list. The basics of it boiled down to this:

Self 1: Sooo, you're applying to Virginia, are you?
Self 2: Yeah.
Self 1: 600 applicants for a handful of spots, yeah?
Self 2: Yeah.
Self 1: Charlottesville's a pretty small city. Thought you wanted to go someplace a little bigger.
Self 2: I do.
Self 1: Um, oooookay. So, Virginia's like, your top choice, right?
Self 2: No. It's like, tied for third with **** behind **** and ****.
Self 1: ....
Self 2: ....
Self 1: Okay... so you're applying to the #2 most selective school in the entire country that's in a small ass city and it's not even your top school?!
Self 2: You have a point.
Self 1: Damn right I do!

So, I'm not sure what I'll put for the fifth school. Probably a safety school as a backup in case I don't get into any of my top three choices, all of which I'd be thrilled to get into.

McNeese State's application process starts by sending the writing sample and cover letter, just to make sure applicant and school are a good fit. I like that aspect to it, as it means $20 saved if I have no shot at getting in. So I'll do that tonight, because they'll take it by email.

Tonight, or, more likely tomorrow, I'll fill out the online application for Columbia and send out the transcript requests.

I'll apply to ODU in early January, when it'll be much easier to get a hold of my rec letter writers than it is this time of year.

[Izulde]

Had a very odd situation happen to me at a college clothing store in Chicago last week.

Struck up a conversation with this pretty blonde girl who got accepted into Columbia for the fall and is going there.

Then, a set of parents were there whose son had just gotten into Yale and they were buying clothing for him for Christmas presents.

Another girl and her father were there, and a friend of their father's came over to talk to them. The girl goes, "Yeah, I got into Northwestern, Columbia and Harvard and I'm having a hard time choosing between them.

Her father laughs and says, "Go to Northwestern! I went to Northwestern, your mother went to Northwestern, your grandfather went to Northwestern..." Girl just gets that noncommittal look on her face and says, "Actually, I kinda like Harvard."

And I'm just standing there thinking what the hell? Is this Ivy league hour up in here or what?

Speaking of Columbia, my third rec letter is sitting at home and we'll be going home tomorrow. So that means it'll be overnighted with the rest of my supplemental/creative materials day after tomorrow.

[Izulde]

I had a slight delay with the supplemental materials for Columbia, so it'll be overnighted tomorrow.

Sure am glad I have my thesis to write this semester in addition to the usual teaching load, because I'll be nervous until late April/early May when I receive my notice.

[Izulde]

Packet mailed.

Now a whole lot of hoping, praying and nervous anticipation goes on. Late April/early May is when I'll find out.

UC-San Diego's decison will be sent in February, but I'm quite dubious about my chances there.

Old Dominion's stuff will get mailed out next week or the week after.

Still deciding on a fifth school to apply to. Still need to email preliminary packet to McNeese State, but I need to finish the personal statement first.

[Izulde]

Ahhh, the stress of final semester and thesis writing.

I've been smoking heavily again as a result of it and my stressing out over the MFA programs and the agonizing waiting. I'm also kicking myself for not informing Columbia of my disability in my personal statement, which could have added to the diversity factor.

Schedulewise, this semester's great. I'm taking one class that I love and teaching two sections with a day and time setup that's worked out perfectly.

I'll find out about UC-San Diego sometime in February, but if I'm perfectly honest, it's late April/early May that I'm most eager to hear about. Still have a couple other applications to finish, too.

If I don't get in anywhere, or I get into a school that I decide after visiting isn't right for me, well... then I'm not sure what I'll do.

[Izulde]

Well, I can't say I'm surprised, because my gut told me it was going to happen, but it was still disappointing to officially receive my rejection notice from UC-San Diego.

[Izulde]

Sent everything off today that I had left over and filled out the FAFSA and what is essentially the Ivy League graduate financial aid application (for $28).

So just to recap:

The Schools Applied To
1. UC-San Diego
-Already rejected me. Small program plus major bias to in-state students = gut feeling I didn't have much of a chance anyway. UCSD, by the way, is the second UC school to ever reject me. UC-Santa Cruz did the same thing when I tried transferring there during my undergraduate years.

2. Columbia
-I'd rate my gut feeling as 50/50 whether I get in or not. Financial aid, of course, will be a concern, particularly in the first year. But if I get admitted, I'm going. I don't care if I have to drown in student loan debt to do it. Columbia has become for me what Princeton was for my undergrad years, and even though I'll be devastated if they reject me, at least I can say I tried and not play the What-If game I've had to do with Princeton all these years.

3. Old Dominion
-I'm getting the same vibe here that I did from UCSD. Small program and I just don't think I'll be accepted. Anything's possible, though.

4. UNLV
-Yeah... this one I shocked myself when I applied to it, because I've always had this love/hate relationship with Vegas, but they've got a really sweet focus on international literature, as well as a required study abroad component. I feel like there's a match in scholarly interests as well. I've got a hunch that I've got a good shot at getting accepted here.

The Schools Formerly Considered But Dropped

1. University of San Francisco
-The more I looked into it, the more I realized their whole specialty is creative non-fiction, which isn't my bag. Plus, I really, really don't like San Francisco as a city. I'm all about San Diego.

2. McNeese State
-Good program with a lot of nice things about it, but the university's overall academic reputation is terrible and I'm too much of a snob to ever feel happy about going to a school like that.

3. University of Florida
-I kept going back and forth on this one, but ultimately, I'm tired of college towns and want a major city to be in. If, by some chance, I don't get accepted anywhere, I'll bring them back to the forefront for the year after.

And that's all I'm going to say about that. There's other schools I'd consider if I don't get into any of the places I applied, or if I do and they don't offer financial aid or, if, after visiting campus, I don't like the place after all, but I don't want to think about that right now. I'm just trying to stay positive and focused.

In other news, the thesis isn't progressing as quickly as I'd hoped and bipolar disorder has been kicking the shit out of me lately. I need to do something about it, but such is the curse of the disease that it's a struggle just to get the energy to do something about it.

Hopefully the next update, whenever it comes, will bring better news.