DaddyTorgo's RL Dating Dynasty - Page 3

DaddyTorgo · 05-13-2013, 12:14 PM

Just pounding away at POF - shared the links of the girls who messaged me with Galaxy, and he said he can see why really only one of them is of decent interest.

But at least I'm getting bites, and getting back to those girls and letting things reach conclusions.

Looking forward to reaching out and messaging some of the ones who I actually found attractive though. Going to see about doing that tonight I think.

murrayyyyy · 05-13-2013, 12:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Just pounding away at POF - shared the links of the girls who messaged me with Galaxy, and he said he can see why really only one of them is of decent interest.

But at least I'm getting bites, and getting back to those girls and letting things reach conclusions.

Looking forward to reaching out and messaging some of the ones who I actually found attractive though. Going to see about doing that tonight I think.

Yeah, didn't warn ya about that part but I think the thing is building a positive karma. I really think that is a huge part.

And you seem to have the positive attitude now. Getting bites is much better than sending out 50 messages a day with no response. And even if it hasn't been 100% positive for you it probably is good for the ones you have responded too. (Can you tell I'm a big karma person?)

Odds are you have mental notes if you are still viewing profiles so I would recommend this... pace yourself. Don't go out and send 50 women first messages... maybe two or three, if you get no replies then try three more two days later. This is a long race, not a short sprint and I'd hate for you to not respond to "the one" because you sent out too many feelers and got responses back and didn't have enough time to respond to her because you chased the wrong one.

DaddyTorgo · 05-13-2013, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by murrayyyyy

Yeah, didn't warn ya about that part but I think the thing is building a positive karma. I really think that is a huge part.

And you seem to have the positive attitude now. Getting bites is much better than sending out 50 messages a day with no response. And even if it hasn't been 100% positive for you it probably is good for the ones you have responded too. (Can you tell I'm a big karma person?)

Odds are you have mental notes if you are still viewing profiles so I would recommend this... pace yourself. Don't go out and send 50 women first messages... maybe two or three, if you get no replies then try three more two days later. This is a long race, not a short sprint and I'd hate for you to not respond to "the one" because you sent out too many feelers and got responses back and didn't have enough time to respond to her because you chased the wrong one.

Yep on all accounts. I'm a big karma person too.

Umbrella · 05-16-2013, 07:38 PM

I'd like to add my $0.02, if you don't mind. I found myself unexpectedly single after being married 13 years. When I finally decided to date, I realized I had been out of the scene for so long, I had no idea if I had any game, or attractive, or if I was too old, etc. I went through a bunch of disasters before trying online dating.

Luckily, I was able to get some responses, and decided to see if I could at least get a first date with all of them. Mostly for practice, since I was pretty raw. I wasn't picky at all. It was a good thing too, because I screwed up the first few ones. One weekend, I had a first date with a really hot woman on Friday, which I was really psyched about. On Saturday, I had a first date with a woman most people would probably say is average. It was more for something to do on the weekend, and I wasn't serious about her at all.

That was eight years ago, and I am happily married to the average looking woman. She turned out to be funny, smart, knows more about sports than most guys, and is one of the most genuinely nice and cool people I've ever met. I never saw it coming, and I can't believe I lucked out and found her.

You know the old cliche about books and covers. Don't be afraid to date the ones that may not seem attractive. Worst case, you get some practice in dating, which it sounds like you could use. Maybe get a funny story about it. I have a ton of them from some of the dating disasters. Best case, you may find your soulmate. Either way, what do you have to lose, except the cost of the date?

Young Drachma · 05-16-2013, 07:42 PM

Umbrella making his case for FOFC Rookie of the Year with some clutch contributions down the stretch.

Comey · 05-27-2013, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Umbrella

I'd like to add my $0.02, if you don't mind. I found myself unexpectedly single after being married 13 years. When I finally decided to date, I realized I had been out of the scene for so long, I had no idea if I had any game, or attractive, or if I was too old, etc. I went through a bunch of disasters before trying online dating.

Luckily, I was able to get some responses, and decided to see if I could at least get a first date with all of them. Mostly for practice, since I was pretty raw. I wasn't picky at all. It was a good thing too, because I screwed up the first few ones. One weekend, I had a first date with a really hot woman on Friday, which I was really psyched about. On Saturday, I had a first date with a woman most people would probably say is average. It was more for something to do on the weekend, and I wasn't serious about her at all.

That was eight years ago, and I am happily married to the average looking woman. She turned out to be funny, smart, knows more about sports than most guys, and is one of the most genuinely nice and cool people I've ever met. I never saw it coming, and I can't believe I lucked out and found her.

You know the old cliche about books and covers. Don't be afraid to date the ones that may not seem attractive. Worst case, you get some practice in dating, which it sounds like you could use. Maybe get a funny story about it. I have a ton of them from some of the dating disasters. Best case, you may find your soulmate. Either way, what do you have to lose, except the cost of the date?

As someone who went through this eight years ago, and had no dating experience outside of one person (I don't consider HS to be really dating), I agree with this wholeheartedly. When I found myself single, after being with one person for my entire dating life, I was totally clueless. I wanted so much to have a meaningful connection to someone, I pushed too hard, and messed up. If I had taken a more relaxed view to things, I might have had different (re: better) results.

Hell, the two women who have really meant something since, I met just by chance; I met my ex-gf, the one I moved to CT for, at a house party in PA in 2007. I met my current girlfriend, with whom I have been with for seven months now, while working an extra shift at the YMCA (she was on an elliptical machine).

You never know what will come your way. This is obvious, but it's easy to overlook.

aknott · 05-28-2013, 04:44 PM

I just usually lurk here, but thought I would add in my experience. I met my ex at a previous job and we dated for 5 years. There were some good times, and she tried to push me to propose, but I wasn't truly happy and finally broke things off with her. I met a few girls online and went on a few dates, but nothing clicked. Then, on eHarmony, a cute girl winked at me or whatever it was (it's been since last February so I don't remember). Neither one of us were subscribers, but she was creative in hiding her email address in her profile so I emailed her. After we started talking, we realized we had mutual friends which made things much easier and she felt comfortable going on a date with me.

Anyway, I've never been happier. We have tons in common (except she likes Michigan while I like Ohio State). I proposed to her at the end of January (plan on getting married next July) and we moved in together about 2 months ago.

DaddyTorgo · 05-29-2013, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Maybe I'm not cut out for this whole...dating thing.

On the random side...there's a friend-of-a-friend from HS -- her and I didn't actually date-date, but we were dancing around dating back then (went to a couple formal dances together etc.), who recently friended me on facebook and we went out to dinner last week to catch up since we hadn't seen each other in ohh...15 years.

And now she's texting me like...a lot. I think it's more that she's living back at home with her mother out here in the suburbs and doesn't have a lot of friends though. At least I think that's what it is....I mean it's not like I led her to believe it was anything more. Not like I necessarily want it to be anything more.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

I would ride that shit anyway. When there's a dearth of female activity in one's life, just the exposure and practice keeps one's skills from getting completely dulled.

Edit: I mean as in the text messaging and dinners and all that.

Not necessarily riding riding.

So I'm dense, but I'm not that dense.

-She tried to get me to go bowling, but I was busy and it sorta slipped my mind and away.
-She's been randomly texting me during the day every few days.
-She said last night via text that I "looked good."
-She just texted me saying she's got 2 tickets to the "Boston Strong" concert tomorrow night and wondering if I wanted to go with her.

Then again, she also red-flagged a bit in the sense that she has a really close guy-friend who is totally-platonic to her, but is like in love with her. So that's complication-city IMO.

DaddyTorgo · 05-29-2013, 11:28 AM

WTF - $300 tickets??

FML. I don't even like music.

It's great that it'd be going to charity and all, but for $300 I feel like it ought to at least be something I enjoy.

Young Drachma · 05-29-2013, 11:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aknott

I just usually lurk here, but thought I would add in my experience. I met my ex at a previous job and we dated for 5 years. There were some good times, and she tried to push me to propose, but I wasn't truly happy and finally broke things off with her. I met a few girls online and went on a few dates, but nothing clicked. Then, on eHarmony, a cute girl winked at me or whatever it was (it's been since last February so I don't remember). Neither one of us were subscribers, but she was creative in hiding her email address in her profile so I emailed her. After we started talking, we realized we had mutual friends which made things much easier and she felt comfortable going on a date with me.

Anyway, I've never been happier. We have tons in common (except she likes Michigan while I like Ohio State). I proposed to her at the end of January (plan on getting married next July) and we moved in together about 2 months ago.

Congrats man and thanks for unlurking to share that story.

DaddyTorgo · 05-29-2013, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aknott

I just usually lurk here, but thought I would add in my experience. I met my ex at a previous job and we dated for 5 years. There were some good times, and she tried to push me to propose, but I wasn't truly happy and finally broke things off with her. I met a few girls online and went on a few dates, but nothing clicked. Then, on eHarmony, a cute girl winked at me or whatever it was (it's been since last February so I don't remember). Neither one of us were subscribers, but she was creative in hiding her email address in her profile so I emailed her. After we started talking, we realized we had mutual friends which made things much easier and she felt comfortable going on a date with me.

Anyway, I've never been happier. We have tons in common (except she likes Michigan while I like Ohio State). I proposed to her at the end of January (plan on getting married next July) and we moved in together about 2 months ago.

Cool!

MrBug708 · 06-05-2013, 10:25 PM

Did you tell them you are a Eunuch?

sabotai · 06-06-2013, 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo

Then again, she also red-flagged a bit in the sense that she has a really close guy-friend who is totally-platonic to her, but is like in love with her. So that's complication-city IMO.

Oooh.....that's....yeah, you wanna stay away from that. At least, that's been my personal experience.

Izulde · 06-06-2013, 08:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabotai

Oooh.....that's....yeah, you wanna stay away from that. At least, that's been my personal experience.

If he's a close friend and totally platonic to her, but he's in love with her, you're on safe ground. He's frozen so solid in the friends zone, not even the sun's explosion will melt it.

sabotai · 06-06-2013, 03:07 PM

It's not that the guy is a threat. Obviously he isn't. But it's a massive headache that he's going to have to deal with. Like if she had a major drug addiction or has 8 children from 6 different fathers.

DaddyTorgo · 06-06-2013, 03:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabotai

It's not that the guy is a threat. Obviously he isn't. But it's a massive headache that he's going to have to deal with. Like if she had a major drug addiction or has 8 children from 6 different fathers.

Exactly.

It'd be totally fine if the guy wasn't in love with her (lord knows like 60% of my closest friends in the world are totally-platonic female friends), but that's just a level of headache.

DaddyTorgo · 06-06-2013, 03:31 PM

She still wants to go bowling though - I gotta set that up.

Bowling is cool.

Fezzes are cool.

britrock88 · 06-06-2013, 04:42 PM

Izulde · 06-06-2013, 05:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabotai

It's not that the guy is a threat. Obviously he isn't. But it's a massive headache that he's going to have to deal with. Like if she had a major drug addiction or has 8 children from 6 different fathers.

Nope, not seeing the headache issue here, at least as far as DT is concerned. It's not something he needs to involve himself with at all. She's a big girl and is perfectly capable of handling the dude on her own. If Dude gets too clingy, pushy, dramatic, whatever, then she distances herself from him. If he plays nice, then it's all good for all involved.

Izulde · 06-06-2013, 06:04 PM

IMO, the greatest drama comes from girls who don't have many friends, but do have one major female BFF. Those are the kind of girls I call lesbians in everything except wanting dick. Combined, those two form a force field that is very difficult to break, or at least weaken the influence enough that you aren't a clear third banana whenever the three of you happen to be in the same general area.

sabotai · 06-07-2013, 12:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Nope, not seeing the headache issue here, at least as far as DT is concerned. It's not something he needs to involve himself with at all. She's a big girl and is perfectly capable of handling the dude on her own. If Dude gets too clingy, pushy, dramatic, whatever, then she distances herself from him. If he plays nice, then it's all good for all involved.

It's a headache when she doesn't distance herself from him. Instead, she gets mad at you for being jealous. They're "just friends" after all so it's totally fine for him to (insert totally not-fine behavior) because "he doesn't think of me like that!". It's a headache when he doesn't play nice, but instead actively works against you and she, for whatever reason, can't see it.

Izulde · 06-07-2013, 03:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sabotai

It's a headache when she doesn't distance herself from him. Instead, she gets mad at you for being jealous. They're "just friends" after all so it's totally fine for him to (insert totally not-fine behavior) because "he doesn't think of me like that!". It's a headache when he doesn't play nice, but instead actively works against you and she, for whatever reason, can't see it.

But the fact that DT has this information about the dude's feelings already, presumably from her, suggests she already knows how dude feels about her, so I'm not seeing that as an issue.

Like I said before, dude is so encased in friends zone ice that he's not a threat. Guys like that, I don't worry about. He's not going to want to deal with DT if he can help at all, so DT's interactions with him will pretty much be limited to when he's hanging out with girl and dude in whatever setting.

In fact, guys like that, I'm sure to be really nice to, because they've lost and they'll never, ever win with that girl. This has the benefit of reducing the chance of his attempting to engage in insurgency (not that it's going to do anything other than piss her off if she has any intelligence at all, FWIW) while simultaneously making me look like a champ to girl because I'm so cool with dude.

Full disclosure: I've been dude before. The boyfriends that were suspicious or wary of me didn't last. The ones that were welcoming of me from the get go lasted a long time (both ended up in marriage, but the first one revealed his true colors after they got married, which blindsided everyone).

And no, I didn't try to act against any of them or anything like that. I wouldn't want somebody trying to play me like that, so I didn't.

sabotai · 06-07-2013, 04:43 PM

Luckily for me, I've never had to directly deal with it in a relationship nor was I ever "close guy friend". My personal experience has been seeing what happens with friends of mine who have dealt with this. A few girls who I knew with close guy friends and a few times friends of mine dating girls with close guy friends. From what I saw and heard, regardless of the circumstances (whether she knew or not), it was a situation to be avoided.

I know you've been on the "close guy friend" side before, so I've been trying to dance around it and not be insulting to your our your "BFF"s. (warning: That means I'm probably about to be). I just don't get the whole dynamic of that friendship. Whether she knows how he feels or not. I don't get why a guy would want to be "BFF"s with someone he knows will not feel the same way for him, and I don't get why a woman would be "BFF"s with someone she knows is in love with her. I don't get why either side would want that kind of friendship. Looking at it from the outside, she either comes off as a clueless twit for not knowing how he feels, or something even worse when she does.

I mean, if I had a friend who was a girl and got along great with her but I had no desire to date her, and then I found out she was in love with me...I don't think I could go on being friends with her. I'd feel awkward around her. I certainly wouldn't feel right bringing new girlfriends around her knowing how she feels. I'd feel like a major dick for doing that.

Regardless of the exact circumstances, I'd just rather avoid that whole situation. It's a red flag to me whether she knows or not.

(That doesn't mean I'm saying DT shouldn't bang the hell out of her before moving on!)

Quote:

And no, I didn't try to act against any of them or anything like that. I wouldn't want somebody trying to play me like that, so I didn't.

It's good that you did the decent thing, but I've long since given up on expecting people to do the decent thing.

Izulde · 06-07-2013, 07:55 PM

Yeah, it's an odd dynamic to have. Essentially what has to happen is that eventually the person in love has to transform their feelings to ones of love rather than in love. It's a damned difficult process, and in most cases, can't ever fully be complete until the other person is married (because then even the remotest possibility of success is eliminated).

As to why these types of friendships continue, it's because at the very core of the thing, the friends genuinely *are* BFFs and very close to each other, despite the inequity of romantic desire. Hell, in my case, with the first marriage, she even told people that I was her only real family there (she considers me like her brother and she hadn't told her parents about the first marriage, which she knew I was not happy about, and which to this day I still don't understand).

The second marriage, all the family on both sides was there and it was an awesome experience, even with the personal stinging heart pain that I kept locked up, because I knew damn well he was the right man for her and he and I have a lot of respect and mutual liking for each other.

It also helps the transition from in love to love a ton when you respect and genuinely like the other person they end up with. It's when you don't like and/or can't respect the other person that things get difficult.

So in the end, that type of friendship can work. But it requires emotional strength and understanding on the part of all the people involved. For a lot of people, and in a lot of cases, that isn't possible.

Also, the fact of the matter is, re: not understanding why either the guy or the girl would want to be in that BFF relationship in that scenario, the closeness of the friendship is such that if it ended, both people would be very unhappy for a long time, because they're an important part of each other's lives.

I've made peace with it myself, and have been periodically interested in other women, and hopefully at some point can get back into the first relationship in a long time (Been 10 years since the one all my friends, including BFF, called Her Blondeness, who I thought would be it - and it's been 4 years since the girl I had something going with but then who pulled a disappearing act on me right before my 30th birthday and before I left on a long international trip).

Strangely enough, it seems like lately every time I get to talking to a girl on a regular basis who's single, she finds a boyfriend that turns into a serious relationship. It's like I'm the conversational version of Good Luck Chuck.

DaddyTorgo · 08-09-2013, 12:03 AM

Thread necromancy FTW. Or at least for the interesting.

Still only had the one date and one phonecall with another girl off of the whole online-dating thing. Summer is a crazy time though with people's vacations and stuff, so I have a couple that are in the pipeline.

Had one tonight.

So I think that was a pretty good first date. Still think I talked too much and could have done less talking and more asking questions, but that's a work in progress.

Still...3 hours at a tapas restaurant with multiple rounds of food (aka "excuses to be done and call it a night") with plenty of laughter and good flow to the conversation can't be all bad hmm?

Well I guess we'll see.

Izulde · 08-09-2013, 12:23 AM

I had 3 hours at a Spanish restaurant with an insanely hot girl and we stayed past closing even.

2 weeks later, she got a boyfriend who wasn't me and is now engaged to him.

JeeberD · 08-09-2013, 11:15 AM

Thanks, Debbie Downer.

Autumn · 08-09-2013, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

I had 3 hours at a Spanish restaurant with an insanely hot girl and we stayed past closing even.

2 weeks later, she got a boyfriend who wasn't me and is now engaged to him.

Plot Twist: She was the waitress.

I once spent 3 hours at a Spanish restaurant with a woman, we never married but agreed to remain fuck buddies forever as she pursued her career goals. That woman was Kate Upton.

There, I think I've cancelled out Jestor's downsies. Go on, DT.

DaddyTorgo · 08-09-2013, 03:23 PM

Haha.

I've got a couple more lined up for likely meetings over the past couple weeks.

Sent this one (Jessica) a text this morning saying I had a great time, felt like I talked a bit too much cuz I was nervous (humanizing myself), and wishing her luck on the Spartan Run she's doing tomorrow.

She got back to me and said she didn't think I talked too much, she had fun, and saying she'd like to go out again.

So that's progress. Still need to continue talking, more to find out about her, so will come up with an idea where that's possible.

Izulde · 08-09-2013, 03:26 PM

Show up in a loincloth and scream "THIS.IS.SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" as the starting gun goes off?

DaddyTorgo · 08-09-2013, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Izulde

Show up in a loincloth and scream "THIS.IS.SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" as the starting gun goes off?

Ideas like this why it didn't work out with you and that girl.

DaddyTorgo · 08-09-2013, 09:58 PM

So what's the board's collective wisdom?

When given a chance of "Monday after 7:30" or "next weekend" which should I go with? Monday is sooner, but something next weekend could potentially...have more to it (as far as like...an activity...say bowling or whatever).

Izulde · 08-09-2013, 10:40 PM

Hmm I'd say Monday. Weekday dates have different tenor and feel to them than weekend dates, and in some cases, you learn more at them.

DaddyTorgo · 08-09-2013, 10:54 PM

was kinda thinking monday too...still have things to learn i suppose, and i think it also conveys more interest (and since she suggested it, reciprocates her conveying of more interest) that way, ya know?

Cap Ologist · 08-10-2013, 12:20 PM

I vote Monday because if it goes well, you know her weekend isn't too packed and you can go out again.

DaddyTorgo · 08-10-2013, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cap Ologist

I vote Monday because if it goes well, you know her weekend isn't too packed and you can go out again.

This too.

Monday it is. I texted her this morning and told her that - she proceeded to text me back after her Spartan run (her first) to say she had survived - to which I replied with a congrats and a bit of history geekery, which she called me out on with a "haha".

Meeting this other girl for a drink at 6 tonight in Boston.

DaddyTorgo · 08-10-2013, 08:50 PM

Girl from Thursday night better than girl from tonight. There was just more..."vibe" there. Conversation felt more natural, more fun, etc.

Pleased with myself for continuing to get out there though, and for starting to devlop a sense of how they're going.

Izulde · 08-10-2013, 09:06 PM

I was gonna say, you're home awfully early for a 6 pm Boston drink.

aknott · 09-19-2013, 11:28 AM

I was trying to get caught up on the Online Dating thread in OT and was wondering how things were going. Any updates?

Obviously use your best judgement, but you can't always judge exactly what they look like by their pictures. I was a little hesitant to start talking to my now fiance because she didn't have the most flattering pictures online. As I said before she is a sports nut and her pictures were mostly close up and she was wearing sweat pants in most of them with her hair in a ponytail. I was already in the movie theater when she walked in for our first date and I almost didn't know it was her at first. She was wearing jeans with a nice top and her hair was down and I just thought she looked beautiful.

This was taken back in April for my 30th birthday. We had been to a Reds game earlier in the day.

DaddyTorgo · 09-19-2013, 11:34 AM

It's been a bit slow lately - people not getting back to me, or just taking a while...not a lot of interesting people coming across my radar. Had a lot of family in town at the end of August too, so that slowed things also.

Still need to have a conversation with that friend-of-a-friend and figure out what's going on there in her mind.

Izulde · 10-22-2013, 04:33 AM

Resurrection! (And piggy-backing off DT's thread rather than starting my own).

So I hit OkCupid again for shits and giggles. Thus far, the only person to reply out of about 35 messages is a polyamorous chick that provided very interesting conversation as well as new Vegas social geography.

I actually had someone who wasn't a spambot message me for the first time ever. She was so completely against my type that I almost didn't respond, but then I reminded myself of how shitty I felt at no replies, so have struck up a conversation that was pleasant. It won't go anywhere but I need to get back into the conversational mode - I've been living such a hermit's life I'm rusty.

DaddyTorgo · 10-26-2013, 07:14 PM

Well that was a good coffee meetup. Hour and a half or so of conversation with a lovely girl.

My gripe with the last one was that she didn't really take care of herself. This girl is more fit and more chatty. We're also both BC alums (she was a freshman my senior year), so we share that in common.

There's definitely more to find out about her, but there's enough common interests and I felt intrigued enough to know more, that we'll be doing something else soon if it's up to me (will have to fire out a text to that effect in a couple minutes).

DaddyTorgo · 11-04-2013, 09:35 AM

Okay - well that went well. Had dinner with 10/26 girl (Marcia) on Friday night. Good dinner, good conversation, very free-flowing and even (where maybe I felt I talked a bit too much at coffee).

She seems very down-to-earth (which I like).

We texted back-and-forth last night about the rest of our weekends for a bit, and then she took the initiative of asking me to her place for dinner on this coming Saturday.

Izulde · 11-04-2013, 10:03 AM

Sounds like things are going well then.

As far as I go, I've slowly come to realize all the cliches and stories about Las Vegas being a terrible place to meet people if you live there are true. In fact, out of every city I've lived in, I would have to say Las Vegas is the absolute worst one in terms of finding someone. Obviously for tourists it's a whole different ballgame.

DaddyTorgo · 05-11-2014, 04:32 PM

12,636

05-28-2013, 04:44 PM	#107
aknott n00b Join Date: Mar 2013	I just usually lurk here, but thought I would add in my experience. I met my ex at a previous job and we dated for 5 years. There were some good times, and she tried to push me to propose, but I wasn't truly happy and finally broke things off with her. I met a few girls online and went on a few dates, but nothing clicked. Then, on eHarmony, a cute girl winked at me or whatever it was (it's been since last February so I don't remember). Neither one of us were subscribers, but she was creative in hiding her email address in her profile so I emailed her. After we started talking, we realized we had mutual friends which made things much easier and she felt comfortable going on a date with me. Anyway, I've never been happier. We have tons in common (except she likes Michigan while I like Ohio State). I proposed to her at the end of January (plan on getting married next July) and we moved in together about 2 months ago. Last edited by aknott : 05-28-2013 at 04:44 PM.

06-06-2013, 06:04 PM	#120
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	IMO, the greatest drama comes from girls who don't have many friends, but do have one major female BFF. Those are the kind of girls I call lesbians in everything except wanting dick. Combined, those two form a force field that is very difficult to break, or at least weaken the influence enough that you aren't a clear third banana whenever the three of you happen to be in the same general area. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

06-07-2013, 07:55 PM	#124
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Yeah, it's an odd dynamic to have. Essentially what has to happen is that eventually the person in love has to transform their feelings to ones of love rather than in love. It's a damned difficult process, and in most cases, can't ever fully be complete until the other person is married (because then even the remotest possibility of success is eliminated). As to why these types of friendships continue, it's because at the very core of the thing, the friends genuinely are BFFs and very close to each other, despite the inequity of romantic desire. Hell, in my case, with the first marriage, she even told people that I was her only real family there (she considers me like her brother and she hadn't told her parents about the first marriage, which she knew I was not happy about, and which to this day I still don't understand). The second marriage, all the family on both sides was there and it was an awesome experience, even with the personal stinging heart pain that I kept locked up, because I knew damn well he was the right man for her and he and I have a lot of respect and mutual liking for each other. It also helps the transition from in love to love a ton when you respect and genuinely like the other person they end up with. It's when you don't like and/or can't respect the other person that things get difficult. So in the end, that type of friendship can work. But it requires emotional strength and understanding on the part of all the people involved. For a lot of people, and in a lot of cases, that isn't possible. Also, the fact of the matter is, re: not understanding why either the guy or the girl would want to be in that BFF relationship in that scenario, the closeness of the friendship is such that if it ended, both people would be very unhappy for a long time, because they're an important part of each other's lives. I've made peace with it myself, and have been periodically interested in other women, and hopefully at some point can get back into the first relationship in a long time (Been 10 years since the one all my friends, including BFF, called Her Blondeness, who I thought would be it - and it's been 4 years since the girl I had something going with but then who pulled a disappearing act on me right before my 30th birthday and before I left on a long international trip). Strangely enough, it seems like lately every time I get to talking to a girl on a regular basis who's single, she finds a boyfriend that turns into a serious relationship. It's like I'm the conversational version of Good Luck Chuck. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

08-09-2013, 12:03 AM	#125
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Thread necromancy FTW. Or at least for the interesting. Still only had the one date and one phonecall with another girl off of the whole online-dating thing. Summer is a crazy time though with people's vacations and stuff, so I have a couple that are in the pipeline. Had one tonight. So I think that was a pretty good first date. Still think I talked too much and could have done less talking and more asking questions, but that's a work in progress. Still...3 hours at a tapas restaurant with multiple rounds of food (aka "excuses to be done and call it a night") with plenty of laughter and good flow to the conversation can't be all bad hmm? Well I guess we'll see. Last edited by DaddyTorgo : 08-09-2013 at 12:03 AM.

08-09-2013, 12:23 AM	#126
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	I had 3 hours at a Spanish restaurant with an insanely hot girl and we stayed past closing even. 2 weeks later, she got a boyfriend who wasn't me and is now engaged to him. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Last edited by Izulde : 08-09-2013 at 12:24 AM.

05-13-2013, 12:14 PM	#101
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Just pounding away at POF - shared the links of the girls who messaged me with Galaxy, and he said he can see why really only one of them is of decent interest. But at least I'm getting bites, and getting back to those girls and letting things reach conclusions. Looking forward to reaching out and messaging some of the ones who I actually found attractive though. Going to see about doing that tonight I think.

05-16-2013, 07:38 PM	#104
Umbrella High School Varsity Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Back in the desert	I'd like to add my $0.02, if you don't mind. I found myself unexpectedly single after being married 13 years. When I finally decided to date, I realized I had been out of the scene for so long, I had no idea if I had any game, or attractive, or if I was too old, etc. I went through a bunch of disasters before trying online dating. Luckily, I was able to get some responses, and decided to see if I could at least get a first date with all of them. Mostly for practice, since I was pretty raw. I wasn't picky at all. It was a good thing too, because I screwed up the first few ones. One weekend, I had a first date with a really hot woman on Friday, which I was really psyched about. On Saturday, I had a first date with a woman most people would probably say is average. It was more for something to do on the weekend, and I wasn't serious about her at all. That was eight years ago, and I am happily married to the average looking woman. She turned out to be funny, smart, knows more about sports than most guys, and is one of the most genuinely nice and cool people I've ever met. I never saw it coming, and I can't believe I lucked out and found her. You know the old cliche about books and covers. Don't be afraid to date the ones that may not seem attractive. Worst case, you get some practice in dating, which it sounds like you could use. Maybe get a funny story about it. I have a ton of them from some of the dating disasters. Best case, you may find your soulmate. Either way, what do you have to lose, except the cost of the date?

05-16-2013, 07:42 PM	#105
Young Drachma Dark Cloud Join Date: Apr 2001	Umbrella making his case for FOFC Rookie of the Year with some clutch contributions down the stretch.

05-29-2013, 11:28 AM	#109
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	WTF - $300 tickets?? FML. I don't even like music. It's great that it'd be going to charity and all, but for $300 I feel like it ought to at least be something I enjoy.

06-05-2013, 10:25 PM	#112
MrBug708 Head Coach Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: Whittier	Did you tell them you are a Eunuch?

06-06-2013, 03:07 PM	#115
sabotai General Manager Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: The Satellite of Love	It's not that the guy is a threat. Obviously he isn't. But it's a massive headache that he's going to have to deal with. Like if she had a major drug addiction or has 8 children from 6 different fathers.

06-06-2013, 03:31 PM	#117
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	She still wants to go bowling though - I gotta set that up. Bowling is cool. Fezzes are cool.

06-06-2013, 04:42 PM	#118
britrock88 Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Madison, WI

08-09-2013, 11:15 AM	#127
JeeberD General Manager Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: The Town of Flower Mound	Thanks, Debbie Downer. __________________ UTEP Miners!!! I solemnly swear to never cheer for TO

08-09-2013, 03:23 PM	#129
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Haha. I've got a couple more lined up for likely meetings over the past couple weeks. Sent this one (Jessica) a text this morning saying I had a great time, felt like I talked a bit too much cuz I was nervous (humanizing myself), and wishing her luck on the Spartan Run she's doing tomorrow. She got back to me and said she didn't think I talked too much, she had fun, and saying she'd like to go out again. So that's progress. Still need to continue talking, more to find out about her, so will come up with an idea where that's possible.

08-09-2013, 03:26 PM	#130
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Show up in a loincloth and scream "THIS.IS.SPARTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" as the starting gun goes off? __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

08-09-2013, 09:58 PM	#132
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	So what's the board's collective wisdom? When given a chance of "Monday after 7:30" or "next weekend" which should I go with? Monday is sooner, but something next weekend could potentially...have more to it (as far as like...an activity...say bowling or whatever).

08-09-2013, 10:40 PM	#133
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Hmm I'd say Monday. Weekday dates have different tenor and feel to them than weekend dates, and in some cases, you learn more at them. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

08-09-2013, 10:54 PM	#134
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	was kinda thinking monday too...still have things to learn i suppose, and i think it also conveys more interest (and since she suggested it, reciprocates her conveying of more interest) that way, ya know? __________________ Get bent whoever hacked my pw and changed my signature.

08-10-2013, 12:20 PM	#135
Cap Ologist College Prospect Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Flower Mound, TX	I vote Monday because if it goes well, you know her weekend isn't too packed and you can go out again.

08-10-2013, 08:50 PM	#137
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Girl from Thursday night better than girl from tonight. There was just more..."vibe" there. Conversation felt more natural, more fun, etc. Pleased with myself for continuing to get out there though, and for starting to devlop a sense of how they're going.

08-10-2013, 09:06 PM	#138
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	I was gonna say, you're home awfully early for a 6 pm Boston drink. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

09-19-2013, 11:28 AM	#139
aknott n00b Join Date: Mar 2013	I was trying to get caught up on the Online Dating thread in OT and was wondering how things were going. Any updates? Obviously use your best judgement, but you can't always judge exactly what they look like by their pictures. I was a little hesitant to start talking to my now fiance because she didn't have the most flattering pictures online. As I said before she is a sports nut and her pictures were mostly close up and she was wearing sweat pants in most of them with her hair in a ponytail. I was already in the movie theater when she walked in for our first date and I almost didn't know it was her at first. She was wearing jeans with a nice top and her hair was down and I just thought she looked beautiful. This was taken back in April for my 30th birthday. We had been to a Reds game earlier in the day.

09-19-2013, 11:34 AM	#140
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	It's been a bit slow lately - people not getting back to me, or just taking a while...not a lot of interesting people coming across my radar. Had a lot of family in town at the end of August too, so that slowed things also. Still need to have a conversation with that friend-of-a-friend and figure out what's going on there in her mind.

10-22-2013, 04:33 AM	#141
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Resurrection! (And piggy-backing off DT's thread rather than starting my own). So I hit OkCupid again for shits and giggles. Thus far, the only person to reply out of about 35 messages is a polyamorous chick that provided very interesting conversation as well as new Vegas social geography. I actually had someone who wasn't a spambot message me for the first time ever. She was so completely against my type that I almost didn't respond, but then I reminded myself of how shitty I felt at no replies, so have struck up a conversation that was pleasant. It won't go anywhere but I need to get back into the conversational mode - I've been living such a hermit's life I'm rusty. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

10-26-2013, 07:14 PM	#142
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Well that was a good coffee meetup. Hour and a half or so of conversation with a lovely girl. My gripe with the last one was that she didn't really take care of herself. This girl is more fit and more chatty. We're also both BC alums (she was a freshman my senior year), so we share that in common. There's definitely more to find out about her, but there's enough common interests and I felt intrigued enough to know more, that we'll be doing something else soon if it's up to me (will have to fire out a text to that effect in a couple minutes).

11-04-2013, 09:35 AM	#143
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	Okay - well that went well. Had dinner with 10/26 girl (Marcia) on Friday night. Good dinner, good conversation, very free-flowing and even (where maybe I felt I talked a bit too much at coffee). She seems very down-to-earth (which I like). We texted back-and-forth last night about the rest of our weekends for a bit, and then she took the initiative of asking me to her place for dinner on this coming Saturday.

11-04-2013, 10:03 AM	#144
Izulde Head Coach Join Date: Sep 2004	Sounds like things are going well then. As far as I go, I've slowly come to realize all the cliches and stories about Las Vegas being a terrible place to meet people if you live there are true. In fact, out of every city I've lived in, I would have to say Las Vegas is the absolute worst one in terms of finding someone. Obviously for tourists it's a whole different ballgame. __________________ 2006 Golden Scribe Nominee 2006 Golden Scribe Winner Best Non-Sport Dynasty: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty) Rookie Writer of the Year Dynasty of the Year: May Our Reign Be Green and Golden (CK Dynasty)

05-11-2014, 04:32 PM	#145
DaddyTorgo Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Massachusetts	12,636

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