Stalls

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by JeeberD

I'm a man. I search for porn. But sometimes I see girls peeing by mistake.

Jeeber you promised you'd never tell anyone about the pics I sent you...

[Schmidty]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

Jeeber you promised you'd never tell anyone about the pics I sent you...

A photo of the moment you found out you were pregnant? Is the blue stripe visible?

[B & B]

Kool Aid Man Voice Oh yeahhh! /Kool Aid Man Voice

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by Schmidty

A photo of the moment you found out you were pregnant? Is the blue stripe visible?

I was more thinking of the time I had to use the restroom in the Tokyo airport...

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by B & B

Kool Aid Man Voice Oh yeahhh! /Kool Aid Man Voice

I think this is as succinct as it gets. It fits perfectly.

[Ironhead]

Here is a question concerning the buffer zone. What happens if the only appropriate buffer zone urinal has a large amount of urine on the floor in front of it and there are no available stalls? Is waiting at the sink the only acceptable course of action here?

[Desnudo]

Stalls sounds like the next Coldplay album

[Easy Mac]

I used to not like dropping a deuce in a public stall, but eventually you just get hooked on the pot.

Anywhere, on my floor there are 7 stalls (2/2/2/1 in the three bathrooms). What I hate is the guy who comes in when I'm dropping one in the large stall, then he sits in the stall right next to me. Dude, just go somewhere else, you have 5 other choices on the floor. Given that there's 3 other floors exactly like that, he has 17 other choices, and my last count was there's 9 stalls on the first floor, so he really has 26 other places he could crap. I really doubt all of those are occupied. Needless to say, I try to use the lone bathroom as often as possible.

However, the other day, I was relaxing in the solo bathroom, and about 3 minutes in a guy came in, try the stall door... backed off, then tried it again... what, did I magically stop crapping and exit in the three seconds? Then instead of leaving, I can hear him breathing and just waiting outside the stall. So I say fuck it, I'm waiting him out. I take out my watch, he ends up waiting 10 more minutes... WTF? This has to break some kind of ettiquette rule.

[Easy Mac]

Originally Posted by Ironhead

Here is a question concerning the buffer zone. What happens if the only appropriate buffer zone urinal has a large amount of urine on the floor in front of it and there are no available stalls? Is waiting at the sink the only acceptable course of action here?

You either have to stand back or get flexible... or pee in the sink... god knows how often i did that in college.

[Anthony]

Originally Posted by Buccaneer

Wait till you see the "Firehose", it's pretty funny. Shit, did I just say that?

i like you when you're normal, and not a grumpy sour-puss. i think we got off on the wrong foot somewhere along the way.

Hi, I'm Hell Atlantic.

[Flasch186]

Originally Posted by Easy Mac

I used to not like dropping a deuce in a public stall, but eventually you just get hooked on the pot.

Anywhere, on my floor there are 7 stalls (2/2/2/1 in the three bathrooms). What I hate is the guy who comes in when I'm dropping one in the large stall, then he sits in the stall right next to me. Dude, just go somewhere else, you have 5 other choices on the floor. Given that there's 3 other floors exactly like that, he has 17 other choices, and my last count was there's 9 stalls on the first floor, so he really has 26 other places he could crap. I really doubt all of those are occupied. Needless to say, I try to use the lone bathroom as often as possible.

However, the other day, I was relaxing in the solo bathroom, and about 3 minutes in a guy came in, try the stall door... backed off, then tried it again... what, did I magically stop crapping and exit in the three seconds? Then instead of leaving, I can hear him breathing and just waiting outside the stall. So I say fuck it, I'm waiting him out. I take out my watch, he ends up waiting 10 more minutes... WTF? This has to break some kind of ettiquette rule.

When I was living in LA I shared a 2 BR/1 bath with 2 other guys. I shared a bedroom. That sucked. anyways, there was a rule that if someone was taking a shower, one of the other guys COULD use the sink area to get ready in the morning. It took some time to get used to this. anyways, not many rules were in place cuz many of them were just assumed. Then this new guy, that took over the other room when we all moved in (new in that we didnt really know him) decided to press the issue. One day im in the shower and I hear someone come in, not unusual but after about 2 minutes the smell was overwhelming, I peek out and CCD is on the toilet dropping a fecal bomb. I was over the top pissed. As soon as the situation was over there was a roommate meeting where the rules were laid out!! in full, no droppin' deuces during morning prayers.


EDIT: Keep in mind this was one of those tiny bathrooms where it went, shower, next to sink, next to toilet...no seperation.

[Noop]

This thread is gold.

[stevew]

Along the same lines as bathroom ettiquite, everyone on our Hall in college pretty much had it figured out that even though it was a double shower in the hall bathroom, that only one person would use it at a time. Except for this one dude, who apparently didn't figure this out, or didn't care. If I'm taking a relaxing shower, I sure as hell don't want some dude soaping up 3 feet from me. It's not like we are in the military or something.

[Icy]

Originally Posted by stevew

Along the same lines as bathroom ettiquite, everyone on our Hall in college pretty much had it figured out that even though it was a double shower in the hall bathroom, that only one person would use it at a time. Except for this one dude, who apparently didn't figure this out, or didn't care. If I'm taking a relaxing shower, I sure as hell don't want some dude soaping up 3 feet from me. It's not like we are in the military or something.

Did you drop the soap?

[Logan]

Originally Posted by Easy Mac

You either have to stand back or get flexible... or pee in the sink... god knows how often i did that in college.

I was debating whether I wanted to open up this thread to "college bathroom mishaps," but I might have to sleep on it.

[rkmsuf]

So what about this move. I'll call this guy the "proud pooper".

So I'm in a stall, guy comes in and enters another stall. Next is a string of noises coming out of his ass I can compare to nothing. Apocalyptic acoustic activity.

All goes quiet finally and I start to finish up. Now it was clear I was concluding the cleanup process because of the noise made by the toilet paper. To me, and this is just me, if I'm the guy who just made those noises I'd prefer to remain anonymous. Neither one of us knows who is in the other stall. The move is to wait until I'm long gone right?

So next I hear him with the toilet paper. I'm like is he really coming out here? Low and behold he emerges as I'm at the sink without a care in the world.

[WSUCougar]

I'd almost rather shit my britches than poop amongst the unwashed masses.

Almost.

[Kodos]

I hate the guys who have to slam everything around. Slam the door shut. Slam down the seat. Let 'er riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!


Assholes.

[gottimd]

I hate the guys who take dumps in the urinals.

[Critch]

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

You know I almost blurted out to guy #2 "Must you sit there?"

I don't understand what the guy in number #3 was doing, but I can make a defence for the guy in #2.

Assuming #1 is the cubical that is nearest the door and the one that's nearest the urinals it will see a lot of stand-up custom, people who use it when the urinals are being used or if they are packing a trouser-tiddler and want the privacy of a cubical. If that assumption is true, there's a good chance that the seat in cubical #1 will be covered in pee or dried up pee. So #2 could be the correct choice.

[Critch]

Originally Posted by Kodos

I hate the guys who have to slam everything around. Slam the door shut. Slam down the seat. Let 'er riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip!

I hate people who use mobile phones in the restroom. Always make a point of flushing multiple times if somebody is on the crapper chatting away in a neighboring cubicle.

[Kodos]

I've wanted to put a sign at work featuring "The Dirty Dozen" with pictures of guys who don't wash their hands. Maybe public shame would help...

[WSUCougar]

Trouser-tiddler???

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

I'd almost rather shit my britches than poop amongst the unwashed masses.

Almost.

Anyone ever make this conscious decision? I faced it once while at this huge flea market out in the middle of nowhere. As I'm admiring all the junk I get this explosive feeling and realize poo is imminent.

I proceed to find one of the only few port o toilets on the grounds, open the door to behold just a horrific mess. This was the critical point where I had to make the call. Shit my pants or endure the process of shitting in the port o potty.

Ultimately I determined riding home with shit in my pants was not the way to go, held my breath and got on with it.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

Trouser-tiddler???

LOL, now what exactly is that?

[Critch]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

Trouser-tiddler???

Sorry. I thought the word tiddler was world-wide for "small fish". It now appears that the phrase trouser-tiddler relies heavily on UK slang. Please cross it out and replace it with "tiny dick" to make my post more universally readable.

[rkmsuf]

It happened again. I'm in #4 and 1,2,3 are clear and a guy sets up shop in #3.

George is getting upset with these stall mind games.

[stevew]

Just a suggestion. When you enter and nobody is in there, go into #3, lock the door, and then climb under the door into stall 4. Built in buffer zone there.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by stevew

Just a suggestion. When you enter and nobody is in there, go into #3, lock the door, and then climb under the door into stall 4. Built in buffer zone there.

I'll even bring an extra pair of shoes to put there.

[WSUCougar]

Originally Posted by stevew

and then climb under the door into stall 4

Sorry, but unless you're Elastic Man that involves far too much contact with a nasty restroom floor. Ick.

[stevew]

Alternately, print up an "Out of order" sign and tape it to #3 every time you go into #4.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

Sorry, but unless you're Elastic Man that involves far too much contact with a nasty restroom floor. Ick.

oh I guess I'll need a haz mat suit as well.

spare shoes
haz mat suit
something to put the haz mat suit in before and after

this is getting complicated

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by stevew

Alternately, print up an "Out of order" sign and tape it to #3 every time you go into #4.

He'd probably proceed anyway. Flushing means nothing to the shall mind game guy.

[WSUCougar]

Or the ever popular option of saying, "Hey, cheese dick, why don't you move down a stall or two? This isn't freakin' Waltons Mountain in here."

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

Or the ever popular option of saying, "Hey, cheese dick, why don't you move down a stall or two? This isn't freakin' Waltons Mountain in here."

You never know when the pooper will come in your stall throwing haymakers.

[stevew]

Smear a melted hershey kiss over seat #3? I'd hope that'd keep mind game guy out of stall 3.

[WSUCougar]

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

You never know when the pooper will come in your stall throwing haymakers.

Or, monkey like, throwing poo.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

Or, monkey like, throwing poo.

I mean yeah, I don't want incoming over my stall wall.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by stevew

Smear a melted hershey kiss over seat #3? I'd hope that'd keep mind game guy out of stall 3.

I think I'll go with liquid heat, revenge of the nerds style and hope he's one of those guys that touches the rim with his dong.

[WSUCougar]

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

and hope he's one of those guys that touches the rim with his dong.

As opposed to tucking?

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

As opposed to tucking?

Is suspect this guy isn't as vigilant at tucking as he should be.

[WSUCougar]

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

Is suspect this guy isn't as vigilant at tucking as he should be.

You mean he's just generally irresponsible with his Johnson, or taht it's so mutated and massive that it's flopping around like an unchecked bobblehead?

[Franklinnoble]

Nah... you don't need to climb under. You can turn those latches from the outside with a quarter. Hell, now that I think of it, I'll probably lock all the stalls the next time I have to take the Browns to the Super Bowl...

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by WSUCougar

You mean he's just generally irresponsible with his Johnson, or taht it's so mutated and massive that it's flopping around like an unchecked bobblehead?

I hadn't thought that deeply about it but I'll go with irresponsible johnson.

And this time he was reading in there.

[Desnudo]

Who designs some of these bar bathrooms? A urinal and a toilet at 90 degree angles to each other and about two feet apart with a door that opens directly into the hallway where the line for the women's room is. Standing ass-to-ass with a total stranger trying to pee while you hope no one opens the door. George would have keeled over.

[Flasch186]

obviously the guy is not inhibited, there is a greater likelihood of him tossing a rectal grenade or visiting your stall in a pre-emptive strike should you speak up. Might be better to keep quiet and suffer in silence lest youre prepared for some social midget to do something against the grain.

[rkmsuf]

that's kind of my thought. then I tried to play a little "stall chicken". I'll just sit here with my ears blocked until you vacate and then finish up my business. the guy is good. I couldn't wait him out.

[wbatl1]

Originally Posted by Icy

You know what is so gross? A couple of summers ago, i went to a camping with my wife and friends. I went to the the WC with a friend and saw that the stalls had what is called here Turkish baths. It's the kind of stall that is just a hole in the floor, without sit, where you dump standing up and flexing your knees. I hate that kind of stalls but anyway, i walked into the WC and saw suddenly two extended legs outside one of the stalls doors (it was a door open in the bottom). I thought, wtf?? and looked to my friend who was also confussed... so, that guy is sitting on the hole???? where everybody piss and dump??? nobody told him that you don't need to sit on that kind of stalls??? argggggggggg


(I hope the story is underestandable, i haven't ever written in English about a WC, dumping, pissing etc before so i don't know the right words )

I know right where your coming from. About a year ago, I got a real real bad case of diaharea. I was taking all the over the counter stuff to stop it, but nothin helped. So, i was on a bus, and the whole time I have to let it go, and it's just about to leak out when we pull over. There is a outdoor stall, but I walk in and it's just a hole in the ground like you described. No TP, no place to sit, just a whole. I turn around, squat, and KAPLOOM, an atomic explosion of water and junk comes out. Needless to say, my knees were VERY sore by the end of my excursion to that hole.

[Craptacular]

How do I miss these threads?

[Franklinnoble]

Originally Posted by Franklinnoble

Nah... you don't need to climb under. You can turn those latches from the outside with a quarter. Hell, now that I think of it, I'll probably lock all the stalls the next time I have to take the Browns to the Super Bowl...

Just FYI... I tested this tactic out today, and it worked flawlessly. Even during the busy "right after lunch" hour, I had the place to myself. Nobody even tested the empty stalls. They all pretended to just wash their hands and leave me in peace.

This will now be my standard operating procedure for office movements... lock all the stalls. Quick, somebody google me a picture of those guys from the Guiness commercials...