The thread for Strange News Stories

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by stevew

This is like old as hell, or are their new rumors?

No idea how old it is but I didn't realize there is a statute of limitations.

[MacroGuru]

Spear-wielding man arrested in Cedar City standoff : Crime & Courts

[sterlingice]

Perri-air, anyone?

China's Smog Problem Is So Bad, One Town Brought In Fresh Mountain Air For Residents To Breathe | Weather Underground



SI

[molson]

Tremendous. Go Idaho!

N. Idaho man collecting every VHS copy of Speed

http://www.ktvb.com/news/N-Idaho-man...256538431.html

[NobodyHere]

Originally Posted by molson

Tremendous. Go Idaho!

N. Idaho man collecting every VHS copy of Speed

http://www.ktvb.com/news/N-Idaho-man...256538431.html

Wow, that's even crazier than having a Senator solicit prostitutes in an Airport bathroom!

[ColtCrazy]

The kickstarter for that is quite insane. Makes me almost want to give a $1 to it. Almost.

[Critch]

Sperm whale explodes as man tries to open stomach - video | World news | theguardian.com

Warning - the video is pretty nasty.

[Galaxy]

Man Robbed Waffle House With Pitchfork: Cops

[Critch]

Taxi driver who got sexual thrills from watching women trying not to wet themselves is arrested for giving female passengers biscuits laced with diuretics | Mail Online

[molson]

Man Busted For Trying To Have Sex With ATM | The Smoking Gun

[NobodyHere]

Originally Posted by molson

Man Busted For Trying To Have Sex With ATM | The Smoking Gun

He apparently also tried to have sex with a picnic table.

FFS!!!1! WHAT KIND OF SICK TWISTED PERVETED PEOPLE WOULD EVER FIND A FRICKEN PICNIC TABEL TO BE "SEXY". THESE PEEPLES SHOULD BE LOKKED UP

[JonInMiddleGA]

Darwin Award nomination perhaps?

Teen tied to shopping cart drowns in Lake Allatoona - Rome News-Tribune: Police/Fire

Apparently, as I've pieced together from some other coverage, the whole shopping cart launch into the water is a fairly popular "game" these days.

Normally one end of the rope is tied to the shopping cart, the other end is tied to a pole or some other sturdy object.

In this case, the other end of the rope was tied to ... yep, you guessed it: the 18 y/o fatality.

[cartman]

Jeebus

http://amarillo.com/news/local-news/...der-15-minutes

[vex]

And 363 wings in 30 minutes?

[cartman]

No one knows if this religious leader is dead or meditating | GlobalPost

[cartman]

I wondered what Clarence Beeks had been up to since Trading Places.

Man in gorilla suit shot with tranquilliser dart at Tenerife zoo - Telegraph

[JonInMiddleGA]

Metro Atlanta "sovereign citizen" nutjob decides to attack the local courthouse (where he was due to plead out on drug & weapons charges), among the things he didn't count on were: a) a deputy that happened to be in the doorway engaging him with return fire pretty much immediately, and b) the local SWAT team response time being 27 seconds, since they were en route to another situation & were nearby when the call for backup came in

Suspect died without ever reaching the courthouse door, deputy wounded in the leg but already posting on Facebook that he's fine & not to worry.

Forsyth deputy shot in courthouse assault, may have stopped... | www.ajc.com

edit to add: A friend of a friend was apparently working on a nearby rooftop & caught most of the incident on video. You can't see what happens so much as hear it, but the basics are definitely displayed. Fair warning: language is definitely NSFW

Post by Eric Bowman.

[mckerney]

iafrica.com Teen charged as adult due to big penis

Curious if an attorney has ever tried to argue the opposite.

"Your honor, it is outrageous that my client would be charged as an adult for this crime. Yes he's 30 years old, but as you can see the report from this medical examination he has the penis of a 12 year old and should be tried as a minor accordingly."

[lungs]

CHARGES: Neighbor, 61, pulls gun on father teaching girl to ride bike

This would be a college friend of mine's dad that pulled the gun.

[mckerney]

'My Boobs Are More Important Than The Law,' Says Court-Defying Model With 11 Convictions

[NobodyHere]

Ok FOFC, what do ya got?

American Student Ends Up Trapped in Giant Vagina Sculpture

[mckerney]

Barack Obama mistaken for England World Cup player - FIFA World Cup 2014 - CBC

Any fans of Manchester United defender Chris Smalling and coffee are likely perplexed after purchasing an unofficial World Cup mug sporting the player’s likeness.

What they ended up getting is Barack Obama’s mug on Smalling’s coffee cup.

To clarify, Barack Obama is the President of the United States. He has never been named to England’s World Cup team.

[JPhillips]

Vagina Sculpture Traps U.S. Student

[molson]

He has never been named to England’s World Cup team.

That's what they want you to think.

[AlexB]

The way Smalling is playing I wouldn't mind at all if Obama produced an old birth certificate that made him eligible for the England team.

[cartman]

Originally Posted by AlexB

The way Smalling is playing I wouldn't mind at all if Obama produced an old birth certificate that made him eligible for the England team.

Kenya was a British Colony in 1961.

[AlexB]

Reminds me of the England cricketer Ashley Giles who had mugs printed for his testamonial year, but instead of using his nickname "The King of Spin" the first batch were printed as "The King of Spain"

This immediately became his new nickname, and we used to sing "Viva Espana" whenever he came on to bowl

[bulletsponge]

Originally Posted by AlexB

Reminds me of the England cricketer Ashley Giles who had mugs printed for his testamonial year, but instead of using his nickname "The King of Spin" the first batch were printed as "The King of Spain"

This immediately became his new nickname, and we used to sing "Viva Espana" whenever he came on to bowl

im now more confused than ever when it comes to cricket

[Critch]

http://www.themoscowtimes.com/news/a...ts/502379.html

[mckerney]

Oklahoma Republican claims congressional opponent is dead, replaced with body double | KFOR.com

[sterlingice]

Awesome!

SI

[Critch]

Male nurse jailed for having sex with corpse of 82-year-old woman

[mckerney]

Arizona politician mistakes YMCA campers for migrant children

[Critch]

Largest aquatic insect in the world found in China

[Julio Riddols]

Thats a big nope.

[MizzouRah]

Yeah.. no thanks.

[Wolfpack]

The fact that they categorize it as "aquatic" seems to imply there's a larger insect that's non-aquatic....

[Galaxy]

Inadvertent photobomb leads to beach wedding brawl - Police Blotters - Northwest Florida Daily News

[Suburban Rhythm]

Police: Naked, knife-wielding woman stabs 2 in brawl over man

The video is great. Not what you are expecting...not that you'd want to see it once you see the woman in question.

[AlexB]

Alrighty then...

BBC News - Warwickshire man nose-pushes Brussels sprout up Snowdon

[mckerney]

School fires employee after post about homophones | Sunshine Coast Daily

[NobodyHere]

Originally Posted by mckerney

School fires employee after post about homophones | Sunshine Coast Daily

Do schools really need a "SOCIAL media strategist"?

No wonder that we're getting such a terrible return on our education investments.

[molson]

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

Do schools really need a "SOCIAL media strategist"?

No wonder that we're getting such a terrible return on our education investments.

Fortunately, it appears to be more an ESL/test prep scam than an actual school.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by NobodyHere

Do schools really need a "SOCIAL media strategist"?

No wonder that we're getting such a terrible return on our education investments.

Hrm. If they have a press officer/official spokesman, etc then this is probably a logical extension of that to some extent.

It'd probably be wiser to call them "Ass't Superintendent of Communications" and add additional duties but the role itself is probably realistic for a larger system in this day & age.

I mean, if they're using social media at all then SOMEBODY is doing that function, right?

[Lathum]

I wonder what percentage of the stories in this thread are from Florida.

[molson]

Police: Teacher Found In Classroom Intoxicated, Without Pants On Her First Day « CBS Houston

[vex]

Originally Posted by molson

Police: Teacher Found In Classroom Intoxicated, Without Pants On Her First Day « CBS Houston

But she looks so classy! This is just about 2 hours away from me, so.. wow.

[QuikSand]

Police Shoot Man Holding Fake Gun—Near Fake Gun Aisle In Walmart - Hit & Run : Reason.com

Plenty strange, as it is. Actually, heartbreaking if it's being described accurately (dubious).

To top off the strange, though:

Originally Posted by whackjob online political rag

(Astonishingly, Crawford was not the only person to die in the Walmart that day. A 37-year-old woman, Angela Williams, suffered some kind of medical episode as she was exiting the store during the shooting. She apparently had a pre-existing medical condition, and died after being transported to the hospital.)

[cartman]

Here's one from Austin.

APD: BBQ specialist John Mueller, bartender lure burglar into... | www.statesman.com

John Mueller is known to the community as a member of a Central Texas family renowned for expertly preparing smoked brisket. But Mueller got to show off a different talent – sleuthing – after his East Austin barbecue trailer was burglarized earlier this week, police said.

On Monday morning, someone pried off a pad lock to the John Mueller Meat Co. food trailer at 2500 E. Sixth St. and took an iPhone, an iPad and a cash register drawer, according to an arrest affidavit.

Mueller and a bartender at Kellee’s Place, which shares the same lot, decided that morning that they would attempt to lure the suspect into conversation with a bogus story. They sent text messages to the stolen iPhone indicating they were interested in paying top dollar for some tasty catered smoked meats at a party, the arrest affidavit said.

A man who was in possession of the iPhone was more than just interested in helping, police said. After an exchange with the bartender, he not only identified himself by name, but he also sent the bartender a picture of his face and genitals, the affidavit said.

Police had a photo of Orlando Ray Vallejo, 33, on file and determined that the man in their records – and the one seen in the lewd selfie – were the same person, the affidavit said.
Mueller and the bartender persuaded Vallejo to return to John Mueller Meat Co. for payment, police said. Less than 12 hours after the trailer had been burglarized, police were able to detain Vallejo at the restaurant. They found the stolen iPhone in his possession, the affidavit said.

Vallejo is charged with burglary of a building, a state jail felony. He was in the Travis County Jail on Wednesday night with bail set at $25,000.

[JediKooter]

I guess 'meat' had a couple of different meanings in that story.