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Old 03-28-2005, 05:01 PM   #151
cthomer5000
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Originally Posted by gottimd
Here is a question no one asked, is this a lighted room? Strobe lights? or completely dark?

A strobe light would definitely be a major disadvantage to the adult. They don't need to be as accurate with their movements while moving en masse.
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This is like watching a car wreck. But one where, every so often, someone walks over and punches the driver in the face as he struggles to free himself from the wreckage.
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Old 03-28-2005, 05:05 PM   #152
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Actually I think spinning a kid around would be a very BAD idea. First off one could get dizzy and it would take quite a bit of energy to sling one around and then toss it. Also what has been mentioned: I just don't think the kids you would hit would get knocked out. I think they would stay away for as long as you spin the kid which only leaves you with the negative consequences and no kids out. Also 5 I think the body of a five year old is just too soft to knock even one of their own out unless they were hit just right. Seems like you would almost NEED some head-to-head contact when spinning or one of the kids would have to hit their head on the floor. Otherwise I think they would be able to take the blow and get back up.

calm down, these aren't mega 5 year olds or mutated 5 year olds.

they're just 5 year olds with a working knowledge of group combat and tactics. if you hit them, they will bleed crimson red like the rest of us.

anyway, we've already discredited the "swinging one kid around helicopter-style" theory.
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Old 03-28-2005, 05:07 PM   #153
TargetPractice6
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Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic
calm down, these aren't mega 5 year olds or mutated 5 year olds.

they're just 5 year olds with a working knowledge of group combat and tactics. if you hit them, they will bleed crimson red like the rest of us.

anyway, we've already discredited the "swinging one kid around helicopter-style" theory.
Well obviously if you hit them with something hard, like a fist, they wouldn't be getting up. I'm just saying body blows, even on a five year old, probably wouldn't yield any knock-outs.
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Old 03-28-2005, 05:11 PM   #154
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I wonder if the 5 year olds can touch the walls? And if you touch a wall, are you "out"?
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Old 03-28-2005, 05:14 PM   #155
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Interesting point, maybe stand near a wall and keep bouncing them off the wall face first.
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Old 03-28-2005, 05:17 PM   #156
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Sweep the leg.
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Old 03-28-2005, 05:30 PM   #157
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Sweep the leg.

But, sensei...
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Old 03-28-2005, 05:57 PM   #158
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But, sensei...

Do you have a problem with that?
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Old 03-28-2005, 06:02 PM   #159
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Do you have a problem with that?

Umm... No, Sensei...
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Old 03-28-2005, 06:02 PM   #160
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Umm... No, Sensei...

No mercy.
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Old 03-28-2005, 06:34 PM   #161
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No mercy.

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Old 03-28-2005, 06:59 PM   #162
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John Kreese: Fear does not exist in this dojo, does it?!
Karate Student: No, Sensei!
John Kreese: Pain does not exist in this dojo, does it?!
Karate Student: No, Sensei!
John Kreese: Defeat does not exist in this dojo, does it?!
Karate Student: No, Sensei!
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Old 03-28-2005, 07:26 PM   #163
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Old 03-28-2005, 07:47 PM   #164
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If I get to pick the music, wear a Cobra Kai outfit, and call the arena my "dojo, " I think I'd be kicking all kinds of kidergarten ass...
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Old 03-28-2005, 07:59 PM   #165
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Originally Posted by Franklinnoble
If I get to pick the music, wear a Cobra Kai outfit, and call the arena my "dojo, " I think I'd be kicking all kinds of kidergarten ass...
What would the emblem of your dojo be:
A) A Trout
B) Patriotic Undies
C) Awkward Diagram
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Old 03-28-2005, 08:03 PM   #166
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my wife didn't want to play along. i asked her on our commute home from work how many she could take, she was like "3, and don't bother me with these stupid questions".

i'm like "3?!? that's all??! you can only beat up 3 five year olds? these are 5 year olds with several lessons in combat and hardened to eliminate any fear...but still, they're just 5 year olds."

then she thinks a couple seconds and says annoyingly "i don't know...maybe 8 kids".

she just didn't get it.

Last edited by Anthony : 03-28-2005 at 08:05 PM.
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Old 03-28-2005, 08:05 PM   #167
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Originally Posted by gottimd
What would the emblem of your dojo be:
A) A Trout
B) Patriotic Undies
C) Awkward Diagram

D) Charging Rhinocerous
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Old 03-28-2005, 08:06 PM   #168
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Originally Posted by Hell Atlantic
my wife didn't want to play along. i asked her on our commute home from work how many she could take, she was like "3, and don't bother me with these stupid questions".

i'm like "3?!? that's all??! you can only beat up 3 five year olds? these are 5 year olds with several lessons in combat and hardened to eliminate any fear."

then she thinks a couple seconds and says annoyingly "i don't know...maybe 8 kids".

she just didn't get it.

My fiance said 20 without hesitation.
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Old 03-28-2005, 09:34 PM   #169
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I was thinking more about this... I assume the rule about not being able to touch the walls is to keep you from parking yourself in a corner and making those fuckers come at you. The real problem here is that you're going to have to constantly be on the move.

If possible, I do think using the unconscious bodies in order to build some fort might be the way to go. Of course, how the hell are you going to get this thing built with these little fuckers biting, scratching, clawing at you. I guess it's just not practical.

But I think if you could come up with some way to funnel them towards you (as opposed to having to defend all sides) that you could greatly increase the number you could take on, to the point where exhaustion would be the only factor.
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This is like watching a car wreck. But one where, every so often, someone walks over and punches the driver in the face as he struggles to free himself from the wreckage.
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Old 03-28-2005, 09:45 PM   #170
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I would just hope they aren't all Ernie Reyes Jr's kids. If so, I'm in deep doo doo!
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Old 03-28-2005, 09:50 PM   #171
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Anyone ever seen that protect the castle freeware game? In the game, you pick up "intruders" with your mouse and toss them in the air. If you toss them high enough they splatter on the ground. Not high enough, and they're only momentarily stunned.

I'm thinking I might use an initial clothesline attack and then adopt a protect the castle strategy--trying to toss kids around. If I get a good throw, they might go splat. Otherwise, I buy time and maybe take out some others with the thrown bodies.
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Old 03-28-2005, 09:50 PM   #172
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Originally Posted by digamma
Anyone ever seen that protect the castle freeware game? In the game, you pick up "intruders" with your mouse and toss them in the air. If you toss them high enough they splatter on the ground. Not high enough, and they're only momentarily stunned.

I'm thinking I might use an initial clothesline attack and then adopt a protect the castle strategy--trying to toss kids around. If I get a good throw, they might go splat. Otherwise, I buy time and maybe take out some others with the thrown bodies.
But if there are too many kids I'd imagine it would be like playing level 20 without archers or wizards.

Last edited by TargetPractice6 : 03-28-2005 at 09:51 PM.
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Old 03-28-2005, 09:53 PM   #173
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Anyone ever seen that protect the castle freeware game? In the game, you pick up "intruders" with your mouse and toss them in the air. If you toss them high enough they splatter on the ground. Not high enough, and they're only momentarily stunned.

I'm thinking I might use an initial clothesline attack and then adopt a protect the castle strategy--trying to toss kids around. If I get a good throw, they might go splat. Otherwise, I buy time and maybe take out some others with the thrown bodies.

I almost posted a link to that game here...

I think kicking is the way to go. And, no matter what the training, when a 5 year old sees a peer get his face kicked in, he's going to hesitate, at least... in fact, I'd wager most of them will run away sobbing after they see what you do with the first 6 or 7 of them.
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Old 03-28-2005, 09:56 PM   #174
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Originally Posted by Franklinnoble
I almost posted a link to that game here...

I think kicking is the way to go. And, no matter what the training, when a 5 year old sees a peer get his face kicked in, he's going to hesitate, at least... in fact, I'd wager most of them will run away sobbing after they see what you do with the first 6 or 7 of them.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Game Rules
the kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.

There's no way to score a mental edge in this game.
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This is like watching a car wreck. But one where, every so often, someone walks over and punches the driver in the face as he struggles to free himself from the wreckage.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:00 PM   #175
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[/b]There's no way to score a mental edge in this game.

Oh, great. Well, now it's just TOTALLY unrealistic.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:00 PM   #176
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Oh, great. Well, now it's just TOTALLY unrealistic.
Becuase there was a small chance of it happening before.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:18 PM   #177
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I don't think you will be able to effectively rely exclusively on punching and kicking the critters.

As I envision it, within seconds you would be swarmed by the kids. Sally would be tearing at your left thigh, Timmy biting your right kneecap, Bobby punching at your kidneys, Leshawn kicking at your calves from behind. Bobby (no - not the previous Bobby, this Bobby is weaker) undoing the button-fly of your jeans (they have been taught to pull down your pants to your ankles in order to limit your mobility).

I believe in this situation there are too many at close range for you to create the space needed for a good punch or kick. In this case, the best tactic is clearly to gouge out their eyes. Firmly grab the nearest head with both hands, place your thumbs over their eyes, and then push in as hard as possible. I suspect you could blind one in a matter of 1-3 seconds.

This tactic would be essential in disabling those that are at your heels, and would take a lot less energy then punching/kicking/spinning. Only when the swarm is off your heels could you mix it up by reverting to kicking.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:21 PM   #178
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lhk... interesting approach. I'm thinking, though, that eye-gouging requires a level of precision that you can't really afford here. If there really are 8 or 10 after you right this second, you can't afford to be pushing your fingers into his chubby little cheeks - you have to rack up a casualty with every move here. I'm thinking brute force really is better.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:23 PM   #179
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lhk... interesting approach. I'm thinking, though, that eye-gouging requires a level of precision that you can't really afford here. If there really are 8 or 10 after you right this second, you can't afford to be pushing your fingers into his chubby little cheeks - you have to rack up a casualty with every move here. I'm thinking brute force really is better.

I'm with you. Violent elbows at close range should clear out some space quickly.
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This is like watching a car wreck. But one where, every so often, someone walks over and punches the driver in the face as he struggles to free himself from the wreckage.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:28 PM   #180
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I'm with you. Violent elbows at close range should clear out some space quickly.


Yes but an elbow would only stun them, blinding them basically eliminates them and also creates the possibility that they blindly begin hitting each other.

What I'm thinking is the situation where you've got kids with their skulls right around your upper thigh. Too low to elbow, too high to kick, and at too close range to punch (you'd be punching them at the top of their skull which would hurt your hands).


Anyone who's done a fair bit of fighting will tell you that punching a person in the head/face is VERY painful. Your knuckles will begin to bleed quickly, and you may begin to break bones in your hand before long.



I don't believe that gouging out eyes takes that much precision. On second thought, I would use three fingers per eye: pointer, middle, and ring fingers. Push in, then squish around.

Last edited by lighthousekeeper : 03-28-2005 at 10:29 PM.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:37 PM   #181
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Originally Posted by lighthousekeeper
Yes but an elbow would only stun them, blinding them basically eliminates them and also creates the possibility that they blindly begin hitting each other.

What I'm thinking is the situation where you've got kids with their skulls right around your upper thigh. Too low to elbow, too high to kick, and at too close range to punch (you'd be punching them at the top of their skull which would hurt your hands).


Anyone who's done a fair bit of fighting will tell you that punching a person in the head/face is VERY painful. Your knuckles will begin to bleed quickly, and you may begin to break bones in your hand before long.



I don't believe that gouging out eyes takes that much precision. On second thought, I would use three fingers per eye: pointer, middle, and ring fingers. Push in, then squish around.

How about just ramming the kids into the walls?

I mean, touch a wall, and you're out, right? I think beating them to submission is tiresome... just start shoving them into walls.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:43 PM   #182
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It's all about the first kid. You place kick that kid through the uprights from 40 yards out and I promise you they won't be scrambling to be the first to get at you, cup or no cup. That and it'll probably be the only time you'll have the room for the proper footwork.

Then you take advantage of their slack jawed wonderment over the magnitude of that initial kick to level at least 10 while issuing a blood curdling scream about how they are all so grounded.

After that, it's quite simply go time.

Myself, I'd be ticked at myself if I didn't at leaset get to triple figures.
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Old 03-28-2005, 10:45 PM   #183
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It's all about the first kid. You place kick that kid through the uprights from 40 yards out and I promise you they won't be scrambling to be the first to get at you, cup or no cup.

Once again guys:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Game Rules
The kids are motivated enough to not get scared, regardless of the bloodshed. Even the very last one will give it his/her best to take you down.
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This is like watching a car wreck. But one where, every so often, someone walks over and punches the driver in the face as he struggles to free himself from the wreckage.
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Old 03-29-2005, 01:52 AM   #184
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Here's the thing, as it has been stated, they're going to try and mob you from the outset, its all about getting space to keep fighting.

Intitial contact I bludgeon 3-4 with rapic head shots. These are 5 yr olds, one adult punch to the head WILL knock them unconcious, if not kill them outright.

At this point I grab the nearest kid, swing it around to keep the rest off me for a few seconds and throw him against one side of the mob, effectively mowing down /slowing down a large number of 5 yr olds.

turn to the opposite flank, rinse and repeat.

With fatigue factored in for throwing a 5 yr old, I don't know that I could still be taken down as long as things go my way. if something slips up and I get swarmed I'll still take at least another 30-50 with me before they take me out altogether.

So its all about the luck, do they have any? when do they get it? thats what will decide the day.
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Old 03-29-2005, 03:42 AM   #185
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I have a point of clarification..

Are these kids on any performance enhancing suppilments.. cream.. clear.. super golden crisp..?
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Old 03-29-2005, 03:57 AM   #186
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I have a point of clarification..

Are these kids on any performance enhancing suppilments.. cream.. clear.. super golden crisp..?


Better yet... can we take performance enhancing supplements?

Gimme an 8 ball and a fifth of scotch, and I pity the fools...
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Old 03-29-2005, 07:25 AM   #187
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Originally Posted by Franklinnoble
How about just ramming the kids into the walls?

I mean, touch a wall, and you're out, right? I think beating them to submission is tiresome... just start shoving them into walls.

I think the danger in this is that if you're close enough to a wall, and they get a coordinated effort to push you toward the wall, you could lose your balance and touch the wall.
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Old 03-29-2005, 07:40 AM   #188
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First of all, 5 year olds bite for the playfake like nothing else. So you can easily eliminate quite a few by simply saying "Look, is the over there" When they are momentarily stunned, you move in with the elbow, knee and forearm combo. You also gotta worry about picking one up and getting a vicious headbutt. Those heads are hard like nothing else.
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Old 03-29-2005, 10:57 AM   #189
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Hmmm... on the matter of the wall. I'm not seeing the "touch the wall" as a way to end the game (as a strategic point for the kids), but rather as a limitation on what strategy you are able to employ. I'm thinking it would be easier to fend off the kids if you stood up against a wall, and limited the number of angles they could come at you -- so, sensibly, that is precluded under the rules.

I'm not sure it makes sense that "touching a wall is immediate disqualification" is a necessary extension of this rule. The kids are trained to take you down, but just force you to brush against the wall. This is bloodsport, not sumo.
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Old 03-29-2005, 11:00 AM   #190
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It would only make sense that there has to be an opening for the kids to come into the room, so I think if you maybe knocked out the first 4 or 5 and piled them up in front of the entrance you could pretty much pick them off as they tried to get into the room.

Edit: I guess there is no entrance.

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Old 03-29-2005, 11:31 AM   #191
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Originally Posted by QuikSand
Hmmm... on the matter of the wall. I'm not seeing the "touch the wall" as a way to end the game (as a strategic point for the kids), but rather as a limitation on what strategy you are able to employ. I'm thinking it would be easier to fend off the kids if you stood up against a wall, and limited the number of angles they could come at you -- so, sensibly, that is precluded under the rules.

I'm not sure it makes sense that "touching a wall is immediate disqualification" is a necessary extension of this rule. The kids are trained to take you down, but just force you to brush against the wall. This is bloodsport, not sumo.
I think you are right, since the only way to lose that is stated in the rules is to be knocked unconscious.

Another interesting point that I think some of us may have missed is that the kids do not have the same prohibition against touching the walls. I think some of us had suggested pushing kids against the wall to get them "out," but there's no rule that either says they can't touch the wall or disqualifies them for touching the wall. Just like for us, being knocked unconscious is the only way they can lose.
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Old 03-29-2005, 11:31 AM   #192
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Are we allowed to remove clothing? Say work boots?
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Old 03-29-2005, 12:00 PM   #193
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My latest idea or comparison is like whack a mole. Forceful downard shots to the tops of their little heads.
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Old 03-29-2005, 12:01 PM   #194
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I bet you a five year old has a pretty hard bite. Get a few of them clamped down on your fingers and you could be in trouble.

Once you are on the ground, they could just keep plugging up your nose and mouth (and eye gouging works for them, too) and jumping on your chest to keep you low on oxygen.

The trick, of course, would be to keep them from getting those advantages in the first place, which is why I agree with those that say that the first few moments in the room will be critical.
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Old 03-29-2005, 12:19 PM   #195
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When I read this thread I can't help but conjure up images of Sauron knocking dozens of people aside with one swing of his mace.
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Old 03-29-2005, 12:49 PM   #196
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I think some here are giving the kids way too much credit for being organized. With a single day of training I don't think the 5 year olds would be nearly organized enough to do much coordinated assaults. In fact, the more 5 year olds there are, the more they would probably get in each other's way. Just because they are motivated to attack you, doesn't mean they would be any more organized than the typical group of 5 year olds trying to play a sport. I'm still saying, fill the room up with the little ankle biters.
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Old 03-29-2005, 01:51 PM   #197
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It's pronounced ka-ra-TAY, Jerry.
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Old 03-29-2005, 08:53 PM   #198
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shkspr
Okay, for the kids, the first goal has to be the immobilization of the limbs. I'm sure a reasonably fit adult can walk (with difficulty) with one 5 year old wrapped around each leg. With two kids draped around each leg hanging on, though, it becomes nearly impossible to retain any sense of mobility while also retaining balance. THe adult's primary instinct in that situation has to be to get the kids off. The problem with that isthat to do so requires that a few precious seconds be taken away from using children as crude bludgeons and used to clout the heads of the kids about the kneecaps.

The second priority, therefore, must me for the kids to secure each arm. This will most likely require three children hanging on to each limb securely. Again, the adult may be able to MOVE an arm, but they probably won't be able to use it to deal significant damage.

At that point with ten kids attached to the extremities, you can pull the guy to the ground by simply having the arm-holders pull him far enough away from upright that his center of gravity cannot be sustained by his immobile feet.

Then, send in the biters.


This is what I am thinking, except I would take it a bit further and direct the biters to the fingers. I still carry scars from a kid who went into "eat my hand" mode during a fight. Most painful fight I was ever in.
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Old 03-29-2005, 08:55 PM   #199
Desert Dweeb
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by albionmoonlight
I bet you a five year old has a pretty hard bite. Get a few of them clamped down on your fingers and you could be in trouble.


Dola, beat me to it.
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Old 03-29-2005, 10:58 PM   #200
Ragone
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: Kansas City, Mo
Quote:
Originally Posted by Franklinnoble
Sweep the leg.

Get him a Body bag!
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