VEGAS BABY!

[Subby]

Monday

So we agree to meet up at 10am and head to breakfast, but I am up at 7am and can't sleep. I am so excited - the 1K NL event is today and all I want to do is get my chips and my cards and pwn. I turn on my lamp and put on my headphones and futiley read the new Harrington workbook, all the while feeling like I am cramming for a final exam in a class where I rarely made class. The feeling I have in my stomach is a wonderful combination of anxiety and excitement. I finally get up, get showered and dressed and wait. I am wearing cargo shorts, sandals, a t-shirt and a completely cool Italia futbol front-zip sweatshirt that I bought at Filene's a while back. Hopefully some of their World Cup luck rubs off on me. Mali gets ready to go I grab my roll (around a grand) and my lucky card protector (a little Buddha figurine that is a little smaller at its base than a standard poker chip).

Unfortunately Mali was unable to satelite into the event, so he is going to railbird us and check out the Rio's casino. He just bought a completely kickass computer, so he doesn't have the playing roll he would like to have for the whole week and buying into the 1K would pretty much clean him out.

We meet up with Rick and Michael and head back to the Shoney's Memorial Hospital Cafeteria and grab brunch. With the event a few hours away (it starts at noon) we chat a little about strategy and I manage to ask if we are going to have a last-longer bet about 50 different times. I am decidedly nervous and having a hard time really eating. I can usually clean out a buffet, but only put down one plate of eggs and bacon. Quik is decidedly non-chalant about the entire thing. I decide to try out his "not giving a shit" attitude, but it doesn't work so great and I go back to worrying about how I am going to play.

Breakfast finished, we stop by Starbucks on the way out and I grab some real coffee and we head to the Rio.

It is a madhouse when we get there. Apparently on top of the 2200 or so entrants they have 600-800 alternates waiting to get into the event. Every table will be played 11 handed. I wish Rick and Michael good luck, find my table, sit in the 10 seat, hand the dealer my registration card, and get my 1500 chips. I chat up the guys on my end of the table and of course, the one other guy in the fucking place wearing an Italia jersey is sitting directly to my right. We look like a couple of colluding, coordinating dumbasses. Salty Vegas Mullet Man sits to my left and he drops in casual conversation that he won the $225 second chance tourney the night before. Salty Vegas Fat Man in the one seat immediately makes a comment about soccer and how it is a girl's sport. I tell him that I am going to bust him and then skull fuck him right on the table. Ok, actually I just titter like a nervous little girl and silently swear some kind of complicated revenge.

They really say "Shuffle up and Deal" and the cards are in the air! Loud cheers and applause go up and I get major goosebumps. This is the coolest feeling, being a part of this tourney. But I came to cash, not just to experience it...so it was time to play cards.

Second hand in, I am on the button. Folded around to cutoff who raises to 100. I look down at QQ. Holy shit! Queens on the second hand of the tournament! Time to win the hand RIGHT HERE. I raise to 300 because this is the second hand of the tourney and there is no way that my buddy in the Italia futbol shirt is going to...

"IM ALL IN!"

WTF??111!!! All-in? This is the second hand of the goddamn tournament. You cannot go ALL IN. Fuck me. I look back down at my cards. I look at him (like that will do any good). I look at my cards. I muck. Down to 1200 chips. For the next 30 minutes I just wait for good hands and size up our table. There is one guy there that has an iPod and those Bose headphones and is wearing a PokerStars shirt. I immediately tag him as a good player. Everyone else seems unremarkable like me, though so i think I am in good shape.

About 45 minutes in I look down at AA. W000T! Time to double up! In early position, I raise 3xBB to 75 and get one caller (sb). The board comes full of rainbow colored bricks and sb bets out 200. I push. He calls. We flip over and he has KK and I have him fucking dominated and I am about to double up and the dealer brings out the turn card and I can't contain my excitement and it looks like that turn card has a lot of paint and oh my god fuck me in the nostril he turned two outer king!!!!11 GAHHHHHHHHH! I just lost AA to KK. GAHHHHHHHH!!!!

Down to 150 chips. Blinds 25/50. I am not even going to make it to the first effing break. Just about the worst result I could possible hope for, really. I just stare off in to space, completely depressed and get dealt a steady diet of 8-2 and 7-2. I am in such shock that I let the blinds go through without pushing. Finally I wake up in the BB - with 50 in and 25 behind I figure I am pushing on any hand. I am literally down to a chip and a chair. Sucks so bad. I look down at my hand. 83 offsuit. Someone raises to 100, another guy reraises and I push all in. Reraiser shows KK and I jokingly ask the table if I am dominated. Flop comes 836 and I flop two pair and am still alive! Turn and river brick out and my champion suckout puts me back up to $250 chips. I double up with AA to get to $600 and then I get AJs in the blind and just call a 3xBB raise. I push the jack high flop and get called by QQ. Whoops. Fortunately, I get an A on the river and my championship suckout skills continue. I rub my card protector's prodigous belly for more good luck. Now I am up to 1200 chips and the break comes. Woohoo! I make the first break. I talk to Rick and Michael and they seem to be doing well, too. I call a quick update into my wife, take a piss with my boy Howard Lederer, and return to the tournament.

Pretty soon into the second round, I get JJ UTG and make an all-in string bet. I have to pull back half my chips, but fortunately a guy in later position comes back over the top with AK and I bust him to double up again to 2500 chips. Now I am rolling and my chip and a chair comeback is starting to gain some steam. I just play my normal game for a while as they move a bracelet winner to our table two seats from me in the 8th seat. Brandon Cantu was the winner of event #2 and already has his poker sponsor gear on (Absolute) and is getting a ton of attention from folks walking by. Out of nowehere an ESPN boom mike and camera appear and they film us for 5 to 10 minutes as we chat about his series win. He's pretty short stacked, so I am hoping that he pushes at some point becuase I have a feeling he'll have a pretty wide range that I can call.

I actually get all the way up to 3500 chips and then lose a bit down to 3000 chips when the second break is about to start. There are so many entrants in the field that they stagger the bathroom break and its time for my table to go. But of course, the last hand of the round and I get AKs on the button. blinds are 100/200 and MP raises 700 to me. I could just call here and re-evaluate, but I want to accumulate chips. I figure he could be trying to steal on the last hand before the break and pushing folds out a variety of hands, including small pairs, any ace accept for AK and maybe AQ, KQ and maybe mid pairs like 77 or 88. We had pretty similar stacks and he might have had me slightly covered.

He thinks for a really long time - everyone gets up from the table except for the two of us and Salty Vegas Mullett guy who has been really nice to me the whole time and cheering for me to make a comeback.

He finally calls and flips over TT. I don't know if I could have made that call, but he did and now we race. The flop brings two of my suit, so now I have 13 outs to beat this guy on the turn and river. The turn bricks and now I am looking at needing a river card to stay alive. The unsuited T comes, though...giving him a set and knocking me out in roughly 1200th place.

So, I got to play for about four hours and I think I played decently the whole time. You really need a lot of luck to make these things work and this time I just got some luck. Fortunately I busted out during a break, so I didn't have to push back from a full table. I went outside, called my wife and ate some lunch in the food tent and watched Grinder and his posse come in and get food and drinks.

I kept tabs on Rick and Michael and heard from Rick that Mali had managed to hit a $2700 progressive playing slots over at the Rio casino. That was the greatest news I had heard all day and made me feel at least a little better about busting out of the tournament. While I waited for those guys I played another satelite and finished 3rd (just out of deal making territory) so now I was feeling really shitty.

During that time Rick got knocked out, but I was able to catch up with those guys and talk to Michael while they ate dinner. Michael was still in it and while he didn't have a huge stack of chips, he was inching closer and closer to the money.

We spent most of the time oggling the Milwaukee's Best Light Toolbelt girls - they had a hospitality tent right next to the outdoor food tent and they managed to set a record for lowest riding shorts and highest riding tops in existence. In other words, hawt.

After dinner, I went to play cash games while I think Rick was busy getting stacked and unstacked. Mali managed to stack someone as soon as he sat down and was now up on the day for THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS. I played a decent game of 2/5 and was up for a while, but found myself down to $475 when Rick and Michael wandered over (Mali was playing at the table behind me) and gave me the good news that Michael had made it through the day with about 20K chips. Great news for him, great news for me because right before the tourney we had swapped 10% - so anything he won I got 10% of - which was a great deal for me.

So I say I am going to just play a few more orbits and am looking around for a rack for my chips when I get dealt QQ. Early positon raises to 20, MP raises to 40. I raise to 100. Easy. I am ready for them to fold to me and then I will be back over even for the table. Except the guy fucking re-raises to 200. So now there is roughly 350 in the pot and I have about that much left. I think for a very long time and decide that I have had a shitty day and need to call this and win. Maybe he is pushing so hard because he wants a fold for AK or JJ or even QQ. So I push. And he calls. And flips over KK. A K comes on the flop and I watch in horror as my chips make their way over to him. So - 5 minutes from getting up from the table and I manage to get it all in with the worst hand. Brilliant.

We get back to the room at midnight or a little after and there is no fucking way I can go to sleep after just getting stacked. So I tuck Mali in and head down to the Palace Station poker room and find what seems like bingo night at the spring valley retirement home. I inquire about the games and the room manager says they have two limit games running. A 2/4 game and a 4/8 game with a half kill. I don't even know what that means, but whatever, I'm in.

For the next 5 hours I play some of the best poker of my life against the locals and tourists, including some guy who used to play for the Dallas Cowboys (professional athlete sighting number two, thank you very much). I get down $150 and it eventually gets shorthanded with Rudy the Crusty Las Vegas Mulleteer, Rose the Mousey Tourist and Mike the Las Vegas Casino Employee on his day off. This is my sweet spot and I just own these guys pushing them off of two pair and top two pair more often than not. Everyone is really nice and we have a great time laughing and playing and it is a nice way to get rid of what was a pretty shitty day at the Rio. 6:30am rolls around and the game breaks up and I cash out up a whopping $40 - I probably paid that much in dealer tips - but I leave happy, stop by Starbucks, call my wife and head back to my room because for the love of GOD - Michael is still in the tourney and we need to get up at 10am and get breakfast and get to the Rio and I HAVEN'T EVEN SLEPT YET.

I fall asleep dreaming of a final table for QuikSand...

[cartman]

Originally Posted by Subby

I fall asleep dreaming of a final table for QuikSand...

Fucker. You ruined it for him. Everyone knows your dreams, in particular, never come true.

[QuikSand]

Well, I won't turn this into a heavy-duty poker hand analysis by any stretch, but I promised more detail on my "TV read." Here it is...


My table on day one of the tournament is in the far corner, and we have a typical assortment of players -- a few of the young sunglasses types, and a smattering of regular joes like me, more or less. Oh, and Tiffay Williamson -- who many might remember from last year's main event, where she cashed for $400,000. She was pretty prominently featured on the ESPN coverage, and was widely castigated for making terrible plays and being rewarded for doing so.

Anyway after a couple hours of pretty tight play by everyone at the table, we have blinds up to $50/$100... and with stacks that started at $1500, that means there's some pressure on those who haven't made any advances. In the incident hand, there are two limpers for the $100 blind, and then Tiffany raises it to $300, then it's folded to me.

I have AK offsuit. Solid hand. Maybe not a reraising hand.

Well... her chip stack is fairly small at this point - she probably has $600-800 behind the bat she just made. Most players could release a dominated hand here to a reraise... but this is, after all, Tiffany Williamson -- and I recall her taking a long time to make excruciatingly poor calls last year (and often being rewarded for it) -- so for heaven's sake, if there's one player in the building against whom it makes sense to push AK, it's probably Tiffany -- she's bound to call me with AQ, AJ, or something of a simimlar nature. The chance that I might get called and still be well ahead seems too enticing to resist here.

I reraise it to $900. Two folds, and it's back to Tiff. She pauses, she talks me up, and so forth, for probably 3-4 minutes. As this is going on, I can't help but feel great. If she had KK or AA (the two real trouble hands for AK) I'm sure she'd be all in quickly. This must be a tough one. I'm guessing she has a big ace, either AK or AQ, and I think I have a shot to be in great shape if she calls. If she has a medium pair like JJ or TT, then we're basically in a race spot (though the early limpers might have mucked aces, making me a modest dog). In any event -- I don't think I'm in big trouble, and I have over 1K in chops left even if she calls and beats me.

She calls. It's an anticlimactic showdown between her AK and mine, and we chop the pot.

I congratulate her on her brilliant play, though not in as many words, and fairly shortly thereafter, our table is broken up. (I end up playing at four more tables in fairly short succession, ads I keep unluckily getting placed near the breakup point)

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by Subby

I fall asleep dreaming of a final table for QuikSand...

Geez, even I fell asleep dreaming of toolbelt girls.

[Buccaneer]

A great read! One of the best ever. If you were at the Rio, I wonder if they had the girls at the Tilted Kilt going, ahem, full tilt? Other than that, I surprised you got Michael eating the buffett at the PS.

[Malificent]

We were just anxious to get to the Rio and start playing poker - the buffet at Palace Station was serviceable and allowed to sleep for the maximum amount of time possible (4 hours?) and still get to the Rio in plenty of time. As Subby's report will detail, we did upgrade our eating habits in the near future...

[RPI-Fan]

My favorite part so far is attempting to drink $300 worth of alcohol on the flight. Too bad you weren't flying with Wade Boggs!

[NoSkillz]

This thread gets my 5-star seal of approval!

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

I congratulate her on her brilliant play

I've never played a live tournament, so I'm curious. Does "nice hand" = "fuck you" in person too?

[primelord]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

I've never played a live tournament, so I'm curious. Does "nice hand" = "fuck you" in person too?

Just like online it can go both ways.

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

I've never played a live tournament, so I'm curious. Does "nice hand" = "fuck you" in person too?

Often, yes it does. It's a pretty common "insider" thing among the poker know-it-alls to pat the table and say "nice hand, sir" when some clown cracks a set of kings by drawing to, and hitting, a gutshot straight with one card to go.

There, "nice hand, sir" basically means "I can't wait until I get all your chips, you stupid donkey."

[QuikSand]

It appears I'm the only documentarian of the event, so here's a shot of Subby taking on the cash games, fully decked out in his multi-layered flannel or whatever the hell that was. It was admittedly a fairly crisp 71 degrees indoors, but it was Vegas after all.



"Okay, gentlemen... now I have your chips... next I shall take your pants!"

[QuikSand]

Incidentally, the woman in yellow on the far left of that shot was the victim of a very tough hand against me in a cash game later on that day (I'm pretty sure it's the same woman, at least). She flopped set over set against me (recipe for disaster in nearly all cases) but the fourth six came on the turn and we went to the limit there. In a red chip game, five betting rounds can build quite a pot, and this one did. On the river, she realized that her eights full of sixes were no good, and called down cursing me. (Not that I did anything wrong with my hand, I waited until the turn to raise since I was sure that I was ahead even before I got my fourth six)

[QuikSand]

Here's a shot of Mali, hiding behind a big stack of chips in a limit game at the Rio, busting up some of the snotnose internet brats:



"Sure, my dear, you go ahead and call - I'm coming over thee top of yo' ass anyway..."

[Radii]

Originally Posted by Subby

So I tuck Mali in

That may be the most disturbing thing I've ever read at FOFC.

[primelord]

Subby is doing an absolutely awesome job of detailing the trip. So I likely won't do a full trip report, but rather will fill in some other details.

I wanted to mention first though that I honestly can't think of a better group of guys to go to Vegas with than Subby, Quik and Mali. Just a great group of guys and I can't wait until next year.

Saturday

My plane ride was rather uneventful. I flew Southwest (for the first and likely last time in my life). So there was no first class upgrade for me. Just me being crammed into a miniature seat, in a minature row next to a guy with an ipod who is singing out loud to Mr. Big's "To Be With You". If I didn't know that Vegas was on the other end of this flight I might have found a way to jump out the backdoor mid flight. I did over hear a rather amusing excahnge though. There was a rather attractive blonde woman sitting in the window seat in the row in front of me. A mid 20s to early 30s gentleman sits down in the aisle seat in her row. He immediately leans over and says somethign to the affect of "Hey how's it going? Is this your first trip to Vegas?" To which she replies "I'm married." And goes back to reading her magazine. Good times.

So I get to Vegas a few hours ahead of the other guys and I head straight to the Mirage. After scarfing down an over priced and sub par cheeseburger at the Deli I head into the poker room to play some 1/2 NL. There is a list for the NL game, but they have immediate seating at 3/6 limit. So I get on the list for 1/2 NL and take a seat in the 3/6 game. I figure I will just play straight forward conservative poker just to kill time until my NL table was ready.

I get called for the NL game probably 20 minutes later and somehow I am stuck $80 in this insanely soft 3/6 game. Hell no. Give my NL seat to someone else. There is no way I am going to start off down in a soft game like this. So after about two hours of playing I got a call from Michael letting me know they were in town. They asked me for an update on how it was going. I was still down $80. They had just gotten the car and were on their way.

Most of the time when you meet someone who you've only known online they never quite look like what you were expecting. QuikSand absolutely fit that situation for me. As Subby has already mentioned he is a big man. I also will not be randomly attacking him anytime soon. On the other hand I knew exactly who Subby was the minute I saw him. I don't mean that in a bad way at all, but I just knew when I saw him that it was Subby. I didn't really know Mali well enough yet to have developed much of a picture in my mind of what I was expecting.

So Subby and Mali take two of the open seats at my 3/6 table and Quik grabs a seat that opens up shortly after to my left. The game played like normal for a little while, but I had already been playing for several hours and I am sure just the low limit alone was boring the hell out of Quik so we started to loosen up quite a bit. The live straddled started making it's first appearance for us (although nowhere near the level it was going to get to ) and we started having discussions about how we could justify playing some really awful hands preflop. At one point I mucked my cards and exposed the 8d. Quik yells at me that I just took away one of his outs which forced him to muck his 83o.

All in all we had a very good time playing poker the first night. Quik and I burned through a decent number of BBs with our loose play. I did manage to make a good bit of it back with a late run. Subby and Mali seemed to be actually playing poker and turned a profit for the first night. Who knew playing tight and aggressive was the way to go? Regardless it was money well spent on the first night and we all stumbled into the room about 7 a.m. Just the way it should be.

[primelord]

Sunday

After getting around 4 or 5 hours of sleep we make a stop at the Palace Station brunch buffet. Subby has given a good description of what it was although really for $9 I couldn't really complain. You can have really bad lunch and dinner buffets, but it's pretty hard to really screw up breakfast food. So it did the job.

We headed over to the Rio and the WSOP certainly is the place to be if you want to star gaze at poker celebs. You would be standing around having a conversation and have to move over because Men the Master was trying to squeeze by. At one point we were in the hall talking and Barry Greenstein walks up to pick up an issue of one of the card magazines going around. He looks up at me and we make eye contact. I nod at him and he walks away completely ignoring me. I consider us friends now.

My first NL cash game experience was really rather uneventful. I got down early when I had AK twice that I raised preflop. Missed on the flop both times and had continutation bets called or raised on the missed flops. In the mean time Subby is building a small mountain of chips to my right. He is calling out a raise preflop every other hand and just running over the table. He did look like menacing after selling off a bunch of his chips and having a big stack a chips and a bunch of $100 bills sitting on top. The biggest hand of the session for me came when I raised JJ and got 5 callers (everyone respects my raises). The flop was J 2 2. I got a little action on it after the flop. Nothing big, but it was enough to put me up around $100 for the session. So my first live NL experience was a profitable one.

To be honest the NL games were not that great as far as how many fish were at the table. They were certainly beatable, but they weren't like the tables I am used to playing luve where you have a good 6 or 7 awful players per 10 handed table.

The next stop was the $175 satellite. Despite earlier talk of trying to get into seperate satellites Mali, Subby and I did end up int he first one together. Just ensuring that two of us were garaunteed not to get our entry fee into the 1k. I honestly didn't have that much of a problem with the structure of the satellites. It was certainly a very aggressive blind structure, but I really thought the exceptionally soft fields that were in these things made up for it nicely. I played 4 of them during our time there and I really never felt pressured in any of them.

One thing I did want to point out from Subby's report is he said that Mali and I both went out quickly in that first satellite. I guess when you finish in the top 2 like he did you consider someone who goes out 2 spots below you in 4th (me ) to have gone out rather quickly. Success went to his head so quickly.

Our dinner break at the In and Out burger was awesome. It may just be a fast food joint, but I really wish we had them here. It just dawned on me that Subby paid for this meal. I think I was the only one in the group that didn't pick up a meal for everyone along the way. Horse shit. I am the cheap bastard of the group! Anyway after we got back to the Rio I jumped into another satellite. I was determined to not have to pay full price for my entry into the 1k event.

This satellite was the toughest field of the 4 I played in. There were 4 other guys at the table who all played pretty well. The other 5 were awful. And it was by far the toughest of the 4. Like I said the fields in these things is ridiculously soft. Around the 50/100 blind level I only had 900 in chips and I got dealt 99 in late middle position. There is a limper in front of me and I shove in. It's folded to the BB who immediately calls. Fuck. He shows AA and it looks like I am packing up in 7th. The turn brings that sweet 9 for me though and I double up. The guy gives me a look like I just killed his child. That's poker baby. Ironically 3 hands later the guy ends up allin with 99 against KK and rivers a 9. He still lookslike some killed his children. What a baby.

We get down to 4 handed and everyone is about even in chip stacks. Quik comes by to tell me that he just bought in to the 1k event and they only have 100 seats left. I figure I probably have time to finish this satellite so I tell him I will rush over and register just as soon as the tournament is over. Not 5 minutes later Subby comes by and says they are down to 26 seats and said they would be sold out in the next 15 minutes. Well shit. Subby being the oustanding friend that he is went and bought me into the tournament. If I won tournament chips in this satellite I was just going to have to sell them.

So we got down to 3 handed and things were going pretty well for me. Subby noticed one of the guys had 'sup bro printed on the back of his seat shirt and let me know he was a 2+2er. Despite that though both of my opponents were actually playing afwul tight passive and I was able to keep stealing blinds without any resistance. Finally my two opponents ended up all in together and the 2+2er was busted out.

So with only two left I asked the guy if he wanted to make a deal. We counted up our chip stacks and he had just about a 2:1 chip lead on me. So the prize pool for these $125 satellites was two $500 tournament chips and $120 in cash. I proposed he take both the tournament chips and give me the $120 in cash plus another $200 out of his pocket. So essentially he would be getting $800 of the prize pool and I would be getting $320. So he is getting 2.5:1 of the prize pool with a 2:1 chip advantage. That is a good deal for him. He was hesitant to take that deal and I didn;t want to have to bother with selling the tournament chips so I sweetened the deal even more to just the $120 in cash and $80 out of his pocket. Even at greater than 4:1 he wouldn't take the deal. So we sat down to finish the match.

Frankly I really had this guy outclassed. He was very weak tight and I was able to quickly get back to almost even in chips when this hand came up. I was dealt JTo in the BB. He completed the SB and I raised to 4x the BB. He called. The flop came T 9 8 giving me top pair and the open ender. I shove allin on him. He hems and haws for awhile and then makes the call and shows 82o. Turn was a 2 and the river was an 8 giving him the boat and I walk out with nothing. Damn him for not taking a super sweet deal when it was offered.

So I head back over to the 2/5 NL games and immediately get a seat at what seemed to be a very serious table. Probably 4 hands in I get dealt pocket 7s. There is an early position raise and a call and I just call looking to flop my set. The flop comes J J T. The early position raiser leads out for $30 which was about half the pot and my other opponent folds. NOw I have no reads on this guy as I just got to the table, but I make the decision right there I am going to take this pot away from him. I raise to $60. He looks at me and then back at the pot and then back at me (this goes on for a good minute) and he finally calls. The turn is a 9 (not a great card for me). He checks and I bet $100. Again he looks at me and the board several times. Right as I am certaing he is going to much he says "I'm all-in" Fuck me. So I put on the show stacking and unstacking my chips. Pretending to count pot odds my head. The whole time knowing I wouldn't call this bet in a million years. I finally give a heavy sigh and muck my hand. He shows pocket Ts for the flopped boat. Well that was a fantastic way to get things started.

Needless to say things did get better for me from there. The people at my table were for the most part all solid, but the all played very predictably. The combination of that and the fact I caught some good hands let me build my stack back up to even and then even puch ahead $80 for the night. Michael walks over and says we are looking at packing it inf or the night so I decide to play one more orbit and then rack up. I got nothing but folding hands until I was UTG and got dealt Js Ts.

Now my inner nit was telling me to just fold the hand and be happy with your $80 profit. However the table had loosened upa decent bit by this point and that would just be playing like a pussy so I limp in. 4 other playes call the limp. The flop comes Ks 9s 8h. A great flop for me, but also one that could end up losing me a lot of money if I miss my draws. I bet out $20 and it's folded to a late position player who raises to $50. Everyone else folds and I call. The turn is a brick. I check and he bets $75. I call. The river is the 8s. I momentarily considered check raising, but with the river both pairing the board and completeing the flush draw I thought the chances of him checking it through were high. So I led out for $100. He though about for a long time and mucked. I tabled my flush and racked up, up $230 or so for the night in the cash games. So for the day I was up about $330 in cash games and down $300 from satellites. For a $30 profit. Ballers represent!

[JeeberD]

Awesome thread guys. I can't wait to read about the rest of your trip...

[Bad-example]

Originally Posted by Subby

Quik...is a big guy...tall and broad with big meathooks for hands.

Between Quik's meathooks and Subby's ham fists, that must have been quite a handshake.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by Subby

I had about $550 in front of me and caught JJ in MP. I raise it up to $20 and get a few callers and see a flop of J55.

Originally Posted by primelord

The biggest hand of the session for me came when I raised JJ and got 5 callers (everyone respects my raises). The flop was J 2 2.

Rigged.

[QuikSand]

Well, you already got most of my side of Saturday just fine... the first class upgrade was such a total cinch, it was laughable. BALLERZ YO, fo shizzle.

We landed at the Mirage, I got caught in the moment a bit, and donked away some ungodly number of bets playing against mostly pretty average 3/6 opponents. Fantastically good time, it was. Was a good setting to just let things settle in, get to "know" these guys a little, and so forth. Three-betting with hands like T6o was just the icing on the cake.

When we get to the hotel desk, I volunteer to be Mister Suave, and go charm the clerk. "Checking out, sir?" "No, actually checking in." (It's about seven o'clock in the morning, note) She is remarkably unfazed by this... until I remember this is Las Vegas, and the only surprise is probably that there's no line of people backed up to check in at 7am.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

When we get to the hotel desk, I volunteer to be Mister Suave, and go charm the clerk. "Checking out, sir?" "No, actually checking in." (It's about seven o'clock in the morning, note) She is remarkably unfazed by this... until I remem berthis is Las Vegas, and the only surprise is probably that there's no line of people backed up to check in at 7am.

She was probably intimidated by your giant, meat-hook hands.

[QuikSand]

Sunday

I played in one satellite table, but got into the final three against the red-headed league -- a young guy and an older woman, who I suspect was his mother. I think they might have had something going on, too.

Anyway - my dream dies hard when I slow play JJ (that magic hand again) and get called when I push in on a ragged flop, only to find that the bonnie lad had managed to catch two pair with his brilliant 95o, and he takes me out. I'm sure he and his mom will have some real cackles about that one in bed later on.


Anyway - I decide that the blur-speed satellites just aren't for me (I'm not that much of a tournament player, anyway) and I retire to the red chip tables. The games at Rio aren't terribly soft, but are not bad, overall. Since last year, they have really shifted more and more action to no limit, leaving fewer and fewer NL tournament specialists stranded and lost in solid limit games (which was my experience last year). So, I seem to be up against mostly real limit players here.


Anyway, after an up and down session, I get an intereting hand -- when I call a second bet from the big blind with a mighty T7o. With three players in, I'd call one more bet with virtually anything there. Flop comes T-T-T, and I think I might have a winner.

A voice comes to me: "Fastplaying... it's the new slowplaying"

I bet.

Most won't bet here, and will play stealthily, hoping to get someone to bet the hand for them. That, often enough, gives cover to the player who actually has a big hand and bets right out. It works. I'm raised by a southern dude, then reraised by the asian guy on my right. This is unreal. I go into full calculatron mode, visibly counting the bets and the pot, and eventually cold calling the two more bets. I love this game.

Turn is a king. I look at it kinda as if that was my card, and I bet out again. I am again raised. This is unreal. The original three-bettor finally figures out that he's in trouble (he later says to me he had JJ) and mucks. I decide that the pot is big enough, and open the throttle -- I three bet. Skynyrd wants no part of my phony strength, and he makes it four bets. Outstanding.

I stare him in the eye, and raise it again to the cap. He calls, and there's almost a flicker of light there suggesting that maybe he's beat. He's looking at his cards pretty intently... I'm starting to wonder if maybe he even has KK and is really in trouble (with at least some justification). He calls my bet with a shrug.

River card is a brick, and I call out "I bet my ten." I don't know if that made him mroe or less likely to call (or even raise) but he looked at me like I'm showing him the horseshoe I just retreived from my own ass... he calls, I show the T7o, and he shows AK. Tough life, pal. I drag a pot worth a bit over $700, and end up ahead for the night nearly enough to pay for the $1k entry.

It's good to be the ten and let some other guy be the king.

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by Maple Leafs

She was probably intimidated by your giant, meat-hook hands.

While it's true that I am a big, broad-shouldered guy, I don't think I've ever been pinned with a label like that before. *shurg*

[Drake]

Originally Posted by Quikshizzle

BALLERZ YO, fo shizzle.

Stop it. I mean it.

[QuikSand]

Here's primelord, putting on his game face against a table of no-limit fish at the Rio:



"Go ahead... call my bet, vermin. I have you right where I want you with my T3 offsuit!"

[Honolulu Blue]

Thank you, everyone, for sharing your experiences and pictures. I'm glad everyone had a good time.

[Maple Leafs]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

While it's true that I am a big, broad-shouldered guy, I don't think I've ever been pinned with a label like that before. *shurg*

Tou realize you're going to log on tomorrow and find it's your new title, right?

[Toddzilla]

Incredible, just incredible stuff.

Subbby, Quik, Mal, and primelord, this is great - thanks for taking the time to document this stuff.

Maybe next year FOFC gets a real posse - 6-10 guys - to make the trip out and you spin around Vegas "Entourage" Style

[Toddzilla]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

This is unreal. I go into full calculatron mode, visibly counting the bets and the pot, and eventually cold calling the two more bets. I love this game.

I laughed, then remembered that Quik actually *has* calculatron mode - I've seen pictures of him and you can barely make out the dial on the back of his head behind his left ear.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

If a movie is made of this trip to Vegas, clearly your cast would be:

Michael Chiklis as Primelord
Tobey Maguire as Malificent
Ray Romano as Subby
and on the basis of descriptions and no photos at this point, The Rock as QuikSand

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by kcchief19

and on the basis of descriptions and no photos at this point, The Rock as QuikSand

Actually, I think that from now on whenever I see a QS post, I am going to picture Lou Ferrigno sitting behind a giant keyboard, pounding upon the keys with his huge meathook hands.

The Rock is probably a bit more flattering.

[QuikSand]

Mrs. Q digs the The Rock imagery. We'll see how that goes... I'll report tomorrow.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

Mrs. Q digs the The Rock imagery. We'll see how that goes... I'll report tomorrow.

Glad to get you action any way I can.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

Actually, I think that from now on whenever I see a QS post, I am going to picture Lou Ferrigno sitting behind a giant keyboard, pounding upon the keys with his huge meathook hands.

The Rock is probably a bit more flattering.

I may have missed the boat there. Now whenever I see a Billy Joel reference in a thread I'm going to picture Lou turning all green and pounding on the keyboard with his huge meathook hands.

[Radii]

Originally Posted by kcchief19

I may have missed the boat there. Now whenever I see a Billy Joel reference in a thread I'm going to picture Lou turning all green and pounding on the keyboard with his huge meathook hands.

WE DID TOO START THE FIRE, RARRRRR, QUIK SMASH.



its the best I've got... sorry.

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Radii

WE DID TOO START THE FIRE, RARRRRR, QUIK SMASH.



its the best I've got... sorry.

Awesome...

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by Radii

WE DID TOO START THE FIRE, RARRRRR, QUIK SMASH.



its the best I've got... sorry.

[Subby]

lol radii

[Subby]

Tuesday

Sleep comes easily but as I begin to dream the clock mercilessly strikes 10am and Mali kindly urges me to "get the eff out of bed."

Now, BALLER or not, yo, I don't have a history of drug abuse - but for god's sake I feel like I have just crashed from a week-long liquid cocaine and fried twinkies binge that would put even Sam Kinison in his substance and calorie abusing hey day to shame. I stumble into the bathroom and shave my tongue and brush my ass and take a lukecold shower, throw on my newly christened poker shorts (aka shorts I have now worn for three straight days) and declare myself "ready to roll". Mali reminds me that casinos are not "shirt-optional" so I take care of that small detail and we get ready to go.

My clothes from the night before are so disgustingly tobacco-smoke drenched that I run them down to the front desk to get cleaned and agree to meet the fellas over at Not Money Cafeteria. I drop my clothes off and wander around the casino looking for them and decide to bide my time high rolling the roulette wheel. I get $60 worth of chips, put $5 on number 15 (the day of my anniversary) and I SWEAR TO GOD the wheel stops on 15 the very first spin. The roulette guy just looks at me and I nod at him with the unspoken look that says, "yes, call the floor. I am a professional roulette player."

So I hit and run the shit out of these guys (that's how roulette professionals roll) and look for my posse. I eventually find them back up in their room and they have made the decision that we need a kickass meal to get Michael started off on the right foot on his big day - so we head over to the Aladdin to hit the famed Spice Market Buffet.

We valet park at the Aladdin (standard) and head over to the buffet. Michael pays the bill (the superstar always takes care of his homeboyz, yo!) and we descend into nirvana. The buffet is just out of this world - with multiple stations set up to appeal to most every palate. Italian, Mediterranean, Mexican, Chinese, Japanese, Fat American Dessert. It was all there. I tried to get a little of everything, starting off with some california rolls and pork pot stickers then moved quickly to the Tandoori Chicken and pita bread with baba ghanouj.

Then the jailbait showed up. Perhaps the hottest Latina the crew had ever seen just started floating around the buffet near our table. She was the perfect combination of body and face and when she moved toward the dessert bar, I took it upon myself to force an intervention! She must have known I was a Baller, Yo! because when I got close, she bent over the station, grabbed one of her back belt loops with her index finger, and gently pulled down. Quik got a picture but was shaking so badly that it's hard to appreciate just how much time one would be willing to serve for this particular nymphet. Later on in the meal she was spotted tugging down on the front of her tank top and that's when we realized that God really really loved us.

Pretty much stuffed from brunch, we headed over to the Rio so we could make it for Quik's two pm start time. He had a lower than average stack, but we figured if could catch some cards and double up, he would be right in this thing. After surveying the lay of the land, Mali hit a cash game and Rick and I moved over to the satelites.

I entered another $125 satelite and I was determined to finish strong in this one. Once again it got down to three and once again I was the shortstack. I pushed every other hand and was second in chips at one point, but then the chip leader (who got AA three times in 30 minutes) doubled up shortstack and I was back in third. I pushed K9 from the button and got called by sb with the disastrous A9. Massive elation as the first card out was a K, but the A completed the flop and my 2 outer never hit and I was once again sent packing in third. Suck.

I wandered over to the tourney area to check on Michael's progress and couldn't find him - not a good sign. After about 10 minutes of searching I saw him in the tourney payout line, on the phone, and found out he had busted in 80th, despite not getting a decent hand all day. Still an unbelievable showing - and I got 10% of it, which almost covered all of my travel expenses for the trip. So things were looking up!

At the time though, I was pretty down. Despite the raw pwnage at the Palace Station game the night/morning before, I was having a shit run at the Rio. I wandered around for a while and watched some cash games while Michael stood in line at the cashier's window.

The high lmit games were really cool to watch in person. They were running right on the edge of the cash games tables, so they were easy to railbird. At various times I saw all kind of great action during the week. One table had Gavin Smith, Shawn Sheikhan and Josh Arieh playing what looked like a mixed game. Another table had Sammy playing 20/40 Omaha - and I walked over just as he had busted an opponent and was raking in a massive pile of chips, grinning that Sammy grin that has become so familiar from television. Probably the best cash game moment was watching a high stakes NL game with Esfandiari, Joe Hachem, Daniel Alaei and some other big names. Right as I walk over, it is obvious that Esfandiari has busted Hachem - The Magician has a massive stack in front of him and Hachem is rebuying. 10 minutes later, Shannon Elizabeth saunters over and gets a shoulder massage from Antonio. Yes, life is good for Mr. Esfandiari.

So I find Rick and he is palming two $500 tournament chips that he just won in a satelite and he kindly sells one of them to me for $400 (have I mentioned that this guy is a peach?). We both enter the nightly $540 second chance tourney, with the standard $50 last longer and 10% swap. There are about 120 entrants or so in this one (about 12 or 13 tables) and you get 1500 starting chips with 30 minute blinds. I make it to the first break in decent position, but with the blinds quickly increasing, I find myself with 1750 chips and 100/200 blinds in MP with 88. UTG is a cocky internet player with slightly more chips that I have. He raises 3xBB and I decide that his range here could be ATs-AK, KQ, 44-AA. With my M diminishing I pray for a little luck and push. He calls and I pray for AK. He flips over KK and just like that, I am gone. Solid two day run for me.

Fortunately Rick is still in it with a decent stack, but still a long way from the money.

I decided to get back in a 2/5 NL game and made my biggest donkey play of the week. Which is saying something. I probably had about 475 in front of me when I got dealt KJs and called the preflop bet of 20. QT2 on the flop and I bet out 40. Fancy Headphones Guy - a thinking, deliberate player - makes it 100 to go. I am just thouroughly frustrated at this point and make the horrible call. Turn is the 7h. I check and he makes it 150. FUCK. Would it be that hard for you to let me draw to my straight you pig fucking fancy-headphone-wearing-obviously-better-than-me ASSCLOWN??!! FUCK YOU. I WILL GET YOU BACK BY PUSHING ALL IN.

"Sir, he is already all-in."

Well fuck me. I call. And pass the donkey feed. The guy asks me if I have a set of tens. I laugh as I sheepishly turn over KJ. I am having an out of body experience at this point and my only guess is that he flopped a set of queens - I say guess because this guy never actually turned over his cards and when he saw my KJ he blurted out "YOU'RE ON A DRAW?" with the same kind of disdain one would employ when saying "YOU FUCKED YOUR DAUGHTER??!!"

Yes, I am on an open ended straight draw. Yes I have 8 outs. yes, I know i suck.

The river brings an Ace. SO EFFING MONEY.

I mumble something about coming here to gamble and having a shitty day and I know that was a bad play and whatever elese will make this guy feel better because I have been on the other end of it so many times that for the love of god, its about time I made $300 the donkey way. EEE-AWWW.

As a side note, I really felt bad for this guy - he rebought for $300 and lost all of it when someone called a massive bet chasing his flush and hit...you guessed it...on the river. Later I saw Fancy Headphoes stumbling around the Rio looking like someone who had just suffered minor head trauma and couldn't figure out what continent he was on.

So I play super tight the rest of the way and divide may time waiting for AA/KK and going over to the second chance tourney to railbird Rick.

Rick is doing fine - with the tourney down to 20 and just back from break, he is down to just one black chip (or maybe two, but easily shortstacked) but in the money. He sucks out on the river and wins the blinds and all of a sudden there are just 18 left and he find himself bumped up to the next payout. Then he gets QQ and gets it all in against Ax and of course, my donkey magic sprinkles the board and the Ace hits the river and Rick is out in 18th. Still, $800+ payday and I realize that I would probably do better just buying percentages of guys rather than actually...you know...playing.

It's around 11pm and we decide Rick's finish is a good end to our Rio experience, so we decide to skedaddle and find another room to play for the night. We kick around the WSoP store while Rick grabs a bite. I buy a few trinkets for my kids and when we hook up with Rick, he relates his encounter with Amir Vahedi (yes, THAT Amir Vahedi).

Vahedi brings his food over to the table where Rick is standing. They exchange pleasantries. Rick leaves. After discussing this with us, we inform Rick that he also asked Amir if he a) knew Shannon Elizabeth and b) had sexual relations with her. The story quickly grew into the now infamous..."So...Shannon Elizabeth. You tap that?" line. We repeated it so often over the rest of the trip that I am now not 100% it *didn't* happen.

So we bid farewell to the Rio and its sick array of poker celebs and hot hangers-on and headed over to The Venetian to check out their brand new poker room.

The Venetian is a beautiful casino and resort and I briefly consider hopping in the gondola with my posse, but decide that if I am going to do something supergay on this trip, it has to be better than that. When you enter the casino, you vaguely notice the scented oxygen that is being pumped through the building - something floral and only minorly offensive - but a huge step up from the nicotine-flavored oxygen they pump into Palace Station.

We know life is good, because we all get into a 3/6 limit game with a couple of locals. This is probably the highlight of the trip for me. We straddle and double straddle, laugh our asses off at each other's play, watch Rick fold the best hand on the river for one bet in a huge pot, watch locals ask for table changes because the play is so aggressive and they just want to "get their hours in". We play for a good 5 hours and I probably suck down 4 Red Bulls and grab fistfuls of chips and wave them in the air menacingly at anyone who dares bet the turn. We eventually fill the table out with good sports and even get a few other straddlers in the pot. I know my table image was good because at one point, some woman at the other end of the table not only called me down with, but showed, ten high. It was great.

At around 6am we packed it in and headed back home to The Station. As I waited for the the light to turn into the hotel to change to green, I fell asleep behind the wheel for a brief second. That's the closest we came to dying the whole trip, but when you're a BALLER, YO you just have to deal with living life on the edge.

At least that's what I told myself as I drifted off to sleep in my flannel jammies, dreaming of jailbait.

[MIJB#19]

Originally Posted by VPI97

You need to come to the A-T-L for a visit...I'll show you how anti-social us nerds can be.

Yep, definately true.

[kcchief19]

Yeah, we're making the movie. And in the movie, everyone is going in the gondola.

We'll see if we can get Shannon Elizabeth in it too. I can see Michael Chiklis walking over to Doyle Brunson in a cameo role and saying, "So ... Shannon Elizabeth. You tap that?"

[primelord]

...watch Rick fold the best hand on the river for one bet in a huge pot...

While that alone is bad enough, I folded the best hand in a huge pot for one bet to Subby!!!! He taunted me into it by proclaiming I couldn't possibly fold that river for one more bet. Oh yeah? Watch this!!!! I'm a donkey.

[dixieflatline]

This thread is gold.

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by primelord

While that alone is bad enough, I folded the best hand in a huge pot for one bet to Subby!!!! He taunted me into it by proclaiming I couldn't possibly fold that river for one more bet. Oh yeah? Watch this!!!! I'm a donkey.

At least you didn't call an all-in on a draw.

[PackerFanatic]

No kidding..sounds like you guys are having a blast

[Subby]

Originally Posted by kcchief19

At least you didn't call an all-in on a draw.

I WAS HAVING A BAD DAY!!!11

[QuikSand]

When this phrase comes up in a poker story...

"So I say... ' you know what?' and I call..."

...you know it's good stuff on the way.

[dixieflatline]

Originally Posted by Subby

Still, $800+ payday and I realize that I would probably do better just buying percentages of guys rather than actually...you know...playing.

So you want to buy 10% of me

[kingfc22]

BEST.THREAD.EVER