Selena Gomez - Page 4

MacroGuru · 07-22-2010, 01:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shkspr

MJ4H, you may now masturbate in peace. None may call you creepy.

Only lonely and pathetic.

EDIT: I am reliably informed that Selena Gomez is not in New York promoting her new film, as previous paparazzi shots had suggested, but took a plane back to Los Angeles tonight in preparation for her bithday BBQ bash. If you have climaxed already, consider yourself a pedophile still.

Really? You say this now? Honestly? The man can't say jack shit to you and you respond this way?

Totally classless act

RendeR · 07-22-2010, 01:17 AM

Seriously, the "Tonight show" called, they want their "stupid human tricks" back.

mckerney · 07-22-2010, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shkspr

EDIT: I am reliably informed that Selena Gomez is not in New York promoting her new film, as previous paparazzi shots had suggested, but took a plane back to Los Angeles tonight in preparation for her bithday BBQ bash. If you have climaxed already, consider yourself a pedophile still.

Ephebophile. He would consider himself an ephebophile.

Shkspr · 07-22-2010, 03:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MacroGuru

Really?

Well, no, of course not really. It's ribbing. Teasing. A put-up job meant to reference the ineffable absurdity of the very thought that at the chime of midnight, with the dawning of the age of majority, that that's the first appropriate time to lust after someone. I'm relatively amazed that someone would actually take it seriously.

Quote:

You say this now?

I did have the courtesy to wait until the clock struck midnight on the East Coast. It seemed premature to post it at 11:50.

Quote:

Honestly?

Assuming we don't want to get into some kind of existential debate about things that are real but not honest, or honest but not real, I think I've adressed this point already. No, not for a minute do I actually believe that Selena Gomez in particular is of masturbatory interest to MJ4H, or anyone on this board for that matter. Furthermore, if Selena Gomez in particular does happen to comprise erotic stirrings in the loins of anyone that might come across this message board or this thread, I do not believe for a moment that the disappointed morals of some small score of text-sim grognards is sufficient to shame that person into delaying their self-gratification.

Quote:

The man can't say jack shit to you and you respond this way?

Respectfully, I'd like to point out that MJ4H's continuing status in the penalty box is actually something of a shock to many, including me. That said, I'm not certain that the fact that he got himself boxed with inflammatory conduct, even if I personally think it was kind of chickenshit of the mods to do it, is sufficient opression to warrant some teasing at an appropriate moment. As the timestamp shows, it's not exactly something that would have had the same impact on August 13th.

Quote:

Totally classless act

I don't know that it was totally classless. I did keep my pinky finger stuck out at an angle whilst I typed.

Look, frankly, all sides around have gotten way too emotionally invested in the idea of how appropriate ogling a teen is. Frankly, the idea of a "countdown to consent" is so ludicrous to me that I thought the mental image of someone waiting for the stroke of midnight to make any fantasies about someone less weird was amusing enough to poke fun at. More amusing, to me, was the idea that after presumably holding off on one's fantasy until the proper moment, only to immediately begin acting out when it was "okay", to discover that due to time zone differential the action was still somehow taboo.

And thank you for your correction, mckerney. I formally apologize to MJ4H for failing to note the difference. Now, if you kind folk will excuse me, I have hentai to watch.

Passacaglia · 07-22-2010, 08:16 AM

So what time will The Decision air? Obviously, the most likely choices are MJ4H and Anthony, but we might be surprised to see a dark horse emerge!

cuervo72 · 07-22-2010, 09:03 AM

/facepalm @ last eight hours of thread

Rizon · 07-22-2010, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuervo72

/facepalm @ last eight hours of thread

I can't believe I'm even reading this thread.

Honolulu_Blue · 07-22-2010, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuervo72

/facepalm @ last eight hours of thread

Considering that the last eight hours of this thread culminated in Shkspr's awesome post, it's almost worth it in the end.

The journey wasn't so great, but the destination was pretty spectacular.

Anthony · 07-22-2010, 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RendeR

For what? in that photo she looks like a drag queen.

FAIL.

hahahaa, i missed this. i always like to say Vanessa Hudgens looks like a dirty gypsy.

and then i always think about a scene from the Borat movie and i'll say out loud [in Borat's voice] "where did you get this? don't lie to me, gypsy." hahahah, good times.

DanGarion · 07-22-2010, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shkspr

MJ4H, you may now masturbate in peace. None may call you creepy.

Only lonely and pathetic.

EDIT: I am reliably informed that Selena Gomez is not in New York promoting her new film, as previous paparazzi shots had suggested, but took a plane back to Los Angeles tonight in preparation for her bithday BBQ bash. If you have climaxed already, consider yourself a pedophile still.

What did he get boxed for again? It's hard to keep on top of this stuff, we need a graph or a comic or something to explain it all...

Honolulu_Blue · 07-22-2010, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanGarion

What did he get boxed for again? It's hard to keep on top of this stuff, we need a graph or a comic or something to explain it all...

Personal attacks on Ksyrup.

It was a bit weak. It had no more venom or anger than, say, your average, everyday JiMGA post. I am surprised he's still boxed.

Logan · 07-22-2010, 11:12 AM

WTF did Ronnie get boxed for?

Anthony · 07-22-2010, 11:37 AM

i want Selena Gomez to dress in an oversized shirt and trick me into being handcuffed to a toilet and then take her panties off, fart in them and - while saying something dirty - shove them into my face and then stuff them into my mouth. i will proceed to struggle but inside i'll be getting turned on. she'll see my engorged phallus and tell me how disgusting i am to be turned on by having her flatulated panties in my mouth and then she'll aggressively take my nose and stick it in her bottom.

Noop · 07-22-2010, 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anthony

i want Selena Gomez to dress in an oversized shirt and trick me into being handcuffed to a toilet and then take her panties off, fart in them and - while saying something dirty - shove them into my face and then stuff them into my mouth. i will proceed to struggle but inside i'll be getting turned on. she'll see my engorged phallus and tell me how disgusting i am to be turned on by having her flatulated panties in my mouth and then she'll aggressively take my nose and stick it in her bottom.

Honolulu_Blue · 07-22-2010, 11:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anthony

i want Selena Gomez to dress in an oversized shirt and trick me into being handcuffed to a toilet and then take her panties off, fart in them and - while saying something dirty - shove them into my face and then stuff them into my mouth. i will proceed to struggle but inside i'll be getting turned on. she'll see my engorged phallus and tell me how disgusting i am to be turned on by having her flatulated panties in my mouth and then she'll aggressively take my nose and stick it in her bottom.

Thanks for sharing.

MikeVic · 07-22-2010, 11:45 AM

Sounds original. I want to see what MJ4H would've done on this day too.

Subby · 07-22-2010, 12:48 PM

When does Shkspr turn 18 because I want to hump him.

Sun Tzu · 07-22-2010, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Subby

When does Shkspr turn 18 because I want to hump him.

Subby, the joke in your quote actually has a much longer version, and I've been telling it since the 3rd grade.

digamma · 07-22-2010, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Subby

When does Shkspr turn 18 because I want to hump him.

+1

or Co-sign

or This

or whatever the cool thing to write is when you TOTALLY EFFING AGREE WITH SOMETHING.

JediKooter · 07-22-2010, 01:14 PM

Will her weird looking head go away when she turns 18?

DanGarion · 07-22-2010, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

Will her weird looking head go away when she turns 18?

Probably after a bit of assgagging.

Subby · 07-22-2010, 01:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sun Tzu

Subby, the joke in your quote actually has a much longer version, and I've been telling it since the 3rd grade.

Sweet. Thanks for the info.

JediKooter · 07-22-2010, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanGarion

Probably after a bit of assgagging.

New word, must look it up...

Edit: Urban Dictionary has nothing. I have a picture in my mind, but, I don't think it's what it really is.

RedKingGold · 07-22-2010, 01:48 PM

Thread has a very nice ebb and flow. Keep it up guys!

Honolulu_Blue · 07-22-2010, 01:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RedKingGold

Thread has a very nice ebb and flow. Keep it up guys!

RedKingGold, a man who is notorious around these parts for both tasting ass and having his ass tasted, is suddenly a fan of this thread.

Interesting. Very interesting...

DanGarion · 07-22-2010, 01:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

New word, must look it up...

Edit: Urban Dictionary has nothing. I have a picture in my mind, but, I don't think it's what it really is.

Ask HA, he's a fan of it.

panerd · 07-22-2010, 02:07 PM

Shkspr's joke was really good. He was basically just talking about how if she flew across the country she would go from being 18 to 17 again. Of course you blowhards are so busy wondering why MJ4H gets banned all the time that you pile on top of Shkspr. Is it really that difficult to see how many different fights MJ4H gets into? Not sure why he was banned this time but that is like asking what Pacman Jones did this time.

cuervo72 · 07-22-2010, 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panerd

Shkspr's joke was really good. He was basically just talking about how if she flew across the country she would go from being 18 to 17 again. Of course you blowhards are so busy wondering why MJ4H gets banned all the time that you pile on top of Shkspr. Is it really that difficult to see how many different fights MJ4H gets into? Not sure why he was banned this time but that is like asking what Pacman Jones did this time.

Part of the problem is that Shkspr is largely playing to the wrong room.

Anthony · 07-22-2010, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

New word, must look it up...

Edit: Urban Dictionary has nothing. I have a picture in my mind, but, I don't think it's what it really is.

i made up the word, which is why you can't find it anywhere. here is a pet project i'm working on. and yes, i realized i spelled assburglar as assburgler incorrectly. its ok, i think it gives it more pizzazz.

The Ass Burgler

Anthony · 07-22-2010, 02:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanGarion

Ask HA, he's a fan of it.

...and proud inventor.

JediKooter · 07-22-2010, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DanGarion

Ask HA, he's a fan of it.

You know, not that I have anything against HA, but, something tells me that I do not want to know and that I will be ok if I go the rest of my life, not ever knowing.

Anthony · 07-22-2010, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by panerd

Shkspr's joke was really good. He was basically just talking about how if she flew across the country she would go from being 18 to 17 again. Of course you blowhards are so busy wondering why MJ4H gets banned all the time that you pile on top of Shkspr. Is it really that difficult to see how many different fights MJ4H gets into? Not sure why he was banned this time but that is like asking what Pacman Jones did this time.

hahaha, now that you explained it i finally got the joke. pretty witty, all things considered.

Sun Tzu · 07-22-2010, 02:27 PM

For Subby

Superman is very horny. He's flying around looking for a hot peice of ass when he sees Catwoman. So, he fly's down to her and says "Catwoman, I'm really horny, will you have sex with me?" to which she replies "no way you perv, get out of here."

So he leaves and starts flying around some more when he sees Batgirl. Naturally, he tries again. He fly's down to her and says "Batgirl, you have to help me, I'm extremely horny and need to get off, will you have sex with me?" after which she responds "you're sick, get lost you creep."

So again he leaves unsatisfied, and starts flying around looking for some sweet ass. By now he's very sexually frustrated and decides to devise a plan on how to get some action without getting shot down. He comes up with the idea to use his supersonic speed to fly down to the next girl he sees, have supersonic sex with her, and leave before she knows what hit her. A few minutes later he sees Wonder Woman and does exactly what he planned. After a quality nut bust he flies away happy and satisfied.

Meanwhile, down on the ground...

Wonderwoman turns to her right and says "did you feel a breeze?" to which the Invisible Man replies "no...but my ass hurts."

Anthony · 07-22-2010, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JediKooter

You know, not that I have anything against HA, but, something tells me that I do not want to know and that I will be ok if I go the rest of my life, not ever knowing.

i've never done it, but its one of those things that can only be experienced mainly in your mind. like how Einstein thought of the theory of general relativity primarily by performing the experiments in his head since there was no practical way to do it for real. i'll just say no one can ever really assgag - the human body, primarily the butt-region and the face, don't fit together in a way that's necessary to pull it off - but the fun is in the trying.

DanGarion · 07-22-2010, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anthony

i made up the word, which is why you can't find it anywhere. here is a pet project i'm working on. and yes, i realized i spelled assburglar as assburgler incorrectly. its ok, i think it gives it more pizzazz.

The Ass Burgler

Time to change your signature.

JediKooter · 07-22-2010, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anthony

i've never done it, but its one of those things that can only be experienced mainly in your mind. like how Einstein thought of the theory of general relativity primarily by performing the experiments in his head since there was no practical way to do it for real. i'll just say no one can ever really assgag - the human body, primarily the butt-region and the face, don't fit together in a way that's necessary to pull it off - but the fun is in the trying.

Well, I had this all wrong then. I was thinking, how do you choke someones ass. I mean, you can't get your hands around an ass, unless you have giant giant hands. So the Japanese haven't figured out a way to do this yet?

Honolulu_Blue · 07-22-2010, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Anthony

i'll just say no one can ever really assgag - the human body, primarily the butt-region and the face, don't fit together in a

Do you not know of the Human Centipede?

Stop thinking so small, Anthony.

Human Centipede - Front Office Football Central

BishopMVP · 07-22-2010, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shkspr

(It's) meant to reference the ineffable absurdity of the very thought that at the chime of midnight, with the dawning of the age of majority, that that's the first appropriate time to lust after someone. I'm relatively amazed that someone would actually take it seriously.

I almost want to hook up with a 17-y/o just so I can say this during the interrogation. Sounds like something a Bond villain doubling as an ephebophile would say. Or perhaps Bond himself.

Comey · 07-22-2010, 04:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rizon

I can't believe I'm even reading this thread.

Having know you through this and another board for a long time, I can believe you read this thread. ; )

RedKingGold · 07-22-2010, 06:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue

RedKingGold, a man who is notorious around these parts for both tasting ass and having his ass tasted, is suddenly a fan of this thread.

Interesting. Very interesting...

I'm so reporting your post to the mods.

Like, right now.

Swaggs · 07-22-2010, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sun Tzu

For Subby

Superman is very horny. He's flying around looking for a hot peice of ass when he sees Catwoman. So, he fly's down to her and says "Catwoman, I'm really horny, will you have sex with me?" to which she replies "no way you perv, get out of here."

So he leaves and starts flying around some more when he sees Batgirl. Naturally, he tries again. He fly's down to her and says "Batgirl, you have to help me, I'm extremely horny and need to get off, will you have sex with me?" after which she responds "you're sick, get lost you creep."

So again he leaves unsatisfied, and starts flying around looking for some sweet ass. By now he's very sexually frustrated and decides to devise a plan on how to get some action without getting shot down. He comes up with the idea to use his supersonic speed to fly down to the next girl he sees, have supersonic sex with her, and leave before she knows what hit her. A few minutes later he sees Wonder Woman and does exactly what he planned. After a quality nut bust he flies away happy and satisfied.

Meanwhile, down on the ground...

Wonderwoman turns to her right and says "did you feel a breeze?" to which the Invisible Man replies "no...but my ass hurts."

jbmagic's delivery is better

Warhammer · 07-22-2010, 09:41 PM

Didn't his get deleted?

Toddzilla · 07-23-2010, 01:51 AM

To be perfectly honest, I checked this thread hoping there were more pix.

flere-imsaho · 07-23-2010, 09:33 AM

To be perfectly honest, I checked this thread hoping there were more bannings.

Not that I wish bannings on any of you, but they do make for good drama.

sovereignstar · 07-23-2010, 05:58 PM

OH DEAR GOD SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S LIKE 6

Anthony · 07-23-2010, 09:30 PM

a 6 yr old with lady lumps.

ISiddiqui · 07-24-2010, 12:07 AM

That doesn't prove anything. You have lady lumps.

Anthony · 07-24-2010, 08:37 AM

i want to choke that thin neck of hers. i wish i was a vampire.

MJ4H · 07-26-2010, 11:19 AM

claphamsa · 07-26-2010, 11:37 AM

lulz! welcome back...

07-22-2010, 01:17 AM	#152
RendeR Coordinator Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Buffalo, NY	Seriously, the "Tonight show" called, they want their "stupid human tricks" back. __________________ http://wotlabs.net/s...8/signature.png http://wotlabs.net/sig_dark/na/banichi18/signature.png

07-22-2010, 09:03 AM	#156
cuervo72 Head Coach Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Maryland	/facepalm @ last eight hours of thread __________________ null

07-22-2010, 12:48 PM	#167
Subby lolzcat Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: sans pants	When does Shkspr turn 18 because I want to hump him. __________________ Superman was flying around and saw Wonder Woman getting a tan in the nude on her balcony. Superman said I going to hit that real fast. So he flys down toward Wonder Woman to hit it and their is a loud scream. The Invincible Man scream what just hit me in the ass!!!!! I do shit, I take pictures, I write about it: chrisshue.com

07-22-2010, 01:14 PM	#170
JediKooter Coordinator Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego	Will her weird looking head go away when she turns 18? __________________ I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4

07-22-2010, 02:27 PM	#183
Sun Tzu Pro Starter Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: In the thick of it.	For Subby Superman is very horny. He's flying around looking for a hot peice of ass when he sees Catwoman. So, he fly's down to her and says "Catwoman, I'm really horny, will you have sex with me?" to which she replies "no way you perv, get out of here." So he leaves and starts flying around some more when he sees Batgirl. Naturally, he tries again. He fly's down to her and says "Batgirl, you have to help me, I'm extremely horny and need to get off, will you have sex with me?" after which she responds "you're sick, get lost you creep." So again he leaves unsatisfied, and starts flying around looking for some sweet ass. By now he's very sexually frustrated and decides to devise a plan on how to get some action without getting shot down. He comes up with the idea to use his supersonic speed to fly down to the next girl he sees, have supersonic sex with her, and leave before she knows what hit her. A few minutes later he sees Wonder Woman and does exactly what he planned. After a quality nut bust he flies away happy and satisfied. Meanwhile, down on the ground... Wonderwoman turns to her right and says "did you feel a breeze?" to which the Invisible Man replies "no...but my ass hurts." __________________ I'm still here. Don't touch my fucking bacon. Last edited by Sun Tzu : 07-22-2010 at 02:28 PM.

07-22-2010, 08:16 AM	#155
Passacaglia Coordinator Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Big Ten Country	So what time will The Decision air? Obviously, the most likely choices are MJ4H and Anthony, but we might be surprised to see a dark horse emerge!

07-22-2010, 11:12 AM	#162
Logan Head Coach Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: NYC	WTF did Ronnie get boxed for?

07-22-2010, 11:37 AM	#163
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	i want Selena Gomez to dress in an oversized shirt and trick me into being handcuffed to a toilet and then take her panties off, fart in them and - while saying something dirty - shove them into my face and then stuff them into my mouth. i will proceed to struggle but inside i'll be getting turned on. she'll see my engorged phallus and tell me how disgusting i am to be turned on by having her flatulated panties in my mouth and then she'll aggressively take my nose and stick it in her bottom.

07-22-2010, 11:45 AM	#166
MikeVic Head Coach Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Hometown of Canada	Sounds original. I want to see what MJ4H would've done on this day too.

07-22-2010, 01:48 PM	#174
RedKingGold College Starter Join Date: Oct 2002	Thread has a very nice ebb and flow. Keep it up guys!

07-22-2010, 02:07 PM	#177
panerd Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: St. Louis	Shkspr's joke was really good. He was basically just talking about how if she flew across the country she would go from being 18 to 17 again. Of course you blowhards are so busy wondering why MJ4H gets banned all the time that you pile on top of Shkspr. Is it really that difficult to see how many different fights MJ4H gets into? Not sure why he was banned this time but that is like asking what Pacman Jones did this time.

07-22-2010, 09:41 PM	#192
Warhammer Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Dayton, OH	Didn't his get deleted?

07-23-2010, 01:51 AM	#193
Toddzilla Pro Starter Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Burke, VA	To be perfectly honest, I checked this thread hoping there were more pix.

07-23-2010, 09:33 AM	#194
flere-imsaho Coordinator Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Chicagoland	To be perfectly honest, I checked this thread hoping there were more bannings. Not that I wish bannings on any of you, but they do make for good drama.

07-23-2010, 05:58 PM	#195
sovereignstar Pro Starter Join Date: Feb 2004	OH DEAR GOD SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE'S LIKE 6

07-23-2010, 09:30 PM	#196
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	a 6 yr old with lady lumps.

07-24-2010, 12:07 AM	#197
ISiddiqui Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Decatur, GA	That doesn't prove anything. You have lady lumps. __________________ "A prayer for the wild at heart, kept in cages" -Tennessee Williams

07-24-2010, 08:37 AM	#198
Anthony Banned Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Astoria, NY, USA	i want to choke that thin neck of hers. i wish i was a vampire.

07-26-2010, 11:19 AM	#199
MJ4H Coordinator Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hog Country

07-26-2010, 11:37 AM	#200
claphamsa Grizzled Veteran Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: non white trash MD	lulz! welcome back... __________________ Dominating Warewolf for 0 games! GIT R DUN!!!

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