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Old 10-16-2006, 01:34 PM   #151
NoSkillz
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Originally Posted by MattJones4Heisman View Post
Boy did I miss this one the first time around.

Me too. My boss isn't happy I found it either...must learn to keep laughter down!
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Old 11-21-2006, 04:10 PM   #152
Eaglesfan27
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Originally Posted by Maple Leafs View Post
General FOFC observation:

Does anyone else see threads like this, think "OK, that sounds boring", then notice two days later that it's up to four pages and wonder what's up? We really need some sort of icon or codeword for threads that start off generally harmless and uninteresting, then suddenly develop into something fantastic.

I suggest a small picture of Elisha Cuthbert be placed next to these threads by a mod.


No kidding. I'm just discovering this thread now, and only checked it out because of QS' reference to it in another thread. Some hilarious stuff in here.

The sad thing is my dad taught me this method when I was 12 or 13. Of course, he was a horrible gambling addict who frequently lost his money. Anyway, this convinces me. No more responding to jbmagic unless it is with the intent of humor.
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Old 11-21-2006, 04:21 PM   #153
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Anyway, this convinces me. No more responding to jbmagic unless it is with the intent of humor.
Welcome aboard.
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Old 11-21-2006, 04:21 PM   #154
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I stand by what I said.

It works, but you need patience.
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Old 11-21-2006, 04:22 PM   #155
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I stand by what I said.

It works, but you need patience.
You need the patience to lose lots and lots of money.
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Old 11-21-2006, 04:23 PM   #156
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Originally Posted by Eaglesfan27 View Post
No kidding. I'm just discovering this thread now, and only checked it out because of QS' reference to it in another thread. Some hilarious stuff in here.

The sad thing is my dad taught me this method when I was 12 or 13. Of course, he was a horrible gambling addict who frequently lost his money. Anyway, this convinces me. No more responding to jbmagic unless it is with the intent of humor.

I am sorry you feel this way. I never done anything to you and always respected you.
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Old 11-21-2006, 04:29 PM   #157
cartman
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I stand by what I said.

It works, but you need patience.

jb, just because you asked on another message board 'What strategy work best for blackjack?" and some one replied "Martingale system", does not make it a valid or best to use system.
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Old 11-21-2006, 05:10 PM   #158
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jbmagic, please, for the love of god, just read this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martingale_system


The best summary I can give for why this system sucks comes from that article:

People think long losing streaks are impossible, but they aren't. In fact, they are practically guaranteed to happen eventually (the longer you play, the more likely they are to happen). When it does happen, just ONCE, you go broke.

Consider that it's not even that long a losing streak we are talking about here, in most cases. For instance if you have $1000 and are betting $5 to start, you will be broke after 9 losses in a row. That streak is not that rare. Even in a coinflip game that should happen about 1 in 500 tries. It could happen the very first time you try it. Blackjack is not a coinflip game. Your chances are worse long term in blackjack than in coinflipping, so it will happen sooner than in coinflipping on average. Remember, it only takes that one losing streak, and it WILL eventually happen.
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Old 11-21-2006, 05:13 PM   #159
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I have to admit, I'm weirdly proud of this thread.
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Old 11-21-2006, 05:15 PM   #160
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I wonder if jbmagic still stands behind "stick with one color in roulette so you're not jumping around all the time."
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Old 11-21-2006, 05:31 PM   #161
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Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
I wonder if jbmagic still stands behind "stick with one color in roulette so you're not jumping around all the time."

yes

Of course the key on either blackjack or roulette with this strategy is to know when to walk away. Your not going to lose every hand in Bj or come up one color always in Roulette.

This strategy has work for me. But not something I will do all the time.

Put it this way I won more times then I lost doing this strategy.

It might not be for all of you.
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Old 11-21-2006, 05:36 PM   #162
MJ4H
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It might not be for all of you.

Right. We like strategies that aren't guaranteed to lose all our money.
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Old 11-21-2006, 05:38 PM   #163
BrianD
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jb is right, use this system and you will walk away from the table a winner more times than you walk away a loser. Of course you will walk away having won $5 or losing $5,000, but that is another story.
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Old 11-21-2006, 08:07 PM   #164
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yes

Of course the key on either blackjack or roulette with this strategy is to know when to walk away. Your not going to lose every hand in Bj or come up one color always in Roulette.

This strategy has work for me. But not something I will do all the time.

Put it this way I won more times then I lost doing this strategy.

It might not be for all of you.

"Shut up! A year ago we'd have you banned with a fucking trout up your ass."


"You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherfucker. Ban this ass out. He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron!"
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Old 11-21-2006, 08:12 PM   #165
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"Shut up! A year ago we'd have you banned with a fucking trout up your ass."


"You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherfucker. Ban this ass out. He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron!"

It's not funny. That's why you're a reject, never had no raids, never had no boardings. `The Pirates of Penzance,' that's it.
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Old 11-21-2006, 11:15 PM   #166
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Please stop causing math problems.
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Old 11-22-2006, 12:04 AM   #167
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jbmagic, what difference does it make whether you switch colors or not? Really, what's the difference? If you pick red, black, red, black, black, black, red, red, how does that alter your chances of winning? I'm serious here. I'm trying to understand the thought process.
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Old 11-22-2006, 08:58 AM   #168
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Haven't you guys seen the movie "In America"? It worked fine there!


Blah...I guess you guys were all too busy watching Lost In Translation around that time.
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:25 AM   #169
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Please stop causing math problems.
This is not getting enough love.
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:28 AM   #170
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yes

Of course the key on either blackjack or roulette with this strategy is to know when to walk away. Your not going to lose every hand in Bj or come up one color always in Roulette.

This strategy has work for me. But not something I will do all the time.

Put it this way I won more times then I lost doing this strategy.

It might not be for all of you.
I know I'm not the first person to try and explain something to you and fail, so I've got no reservations trying it again. Here we go.

Your strategy does not allow for you to walk away!

Your system is predicated on betting and betting until you win a hand. Your system dictates as it's single solitary fundamental rule that you cannot stop playing until you have doubled your bets until you win a hand and make back all the money you lost in the previous hands.

If you cannot grasp that simple concept, then please, I beg of you, turn off your computer, flush it down the toilet, and lock yourself in a closet.
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:35 AM   #171
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I know that this thread has slowed down since the first day, but it provides the same fun factor as the Maximum Football thread for me.
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:36 AM   #172
timmae
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I am seriously trying to come up with an image of this "asswhite" in my head... pics pls.

Preferably with wads of betting cash you are about to lose in front of you
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:40 AM   #173
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One of the funnier things in this thread, after a certain point, is that the most logical and informed people are actually the ones who are trying to accomplish the impossible here.
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Old 11-22-2006, 09:42 AM   #174
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"Shut up! A year ago we'd have you banned with a fucking trout up your ass."


"You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherfucker. Ban this ass out. He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron!"

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Old 11-22-2006, 09:54 AM   #175
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Please don't dish the strategy, until you at least try it.

Try it for fun with free money to see how well it works.

So, uh, where can I get some of this free money of which you speak?
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Old 11-22-2006, 08:32 PM   #176
Vinatieri for Prez
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Best blackjack strategy:

Scout for table with hottest babes wearing low cut tops. Sit across from them as much as possible. Bet minimum, play long time, get free booze.

This strategy works everytime. Trust me. But must be patient.
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Old 11-23-2006, 05:34 PM   #177
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Originally Posted by Vinatieri for Prez View Post
Best blackjack strategy:

Scout for table with hottest babes wearing low cut tops. Sit across from them as much as possible. Bet minimum, play long time, get free booze.

This strategy works everytime. Trust me. But must be patient.

I am definitely going to give this a whirl.
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Old 11-26-2006, 08:42 PM   #178
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"Shut up! A year ago we'd have you banned with a fucking trout up your ass."


"You can talk, you can talk, you're brave now motherfucker. Ban this ass out. He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron! He's a moron!"
++++
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Old 05-08-2008, 08:04 PM   #179
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Man, I can't wait to give these blackjack and roulette strategies a try in June when I'm out in Vegas with Lathum and st.cronin!
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Old 05-08-2008, 09:20 PM   #180
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dude, I'm not fronting you the money for a plane ticket home
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Old 05-09-2008, 05:32 AM   #181
Marc Vaughan
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Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

Its available via. subscription - if you'd care to paypal me the small fee involved which you'd quickly win back obviously using the proprietary information contained in the newsletter
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Old 07-01-2008, 12:13 PM   #182
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funniest.thread.ever.
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Old 07-01-2008, 12:18 PM   #183
cartman
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funniest.thread.ever.

And the strategies worked!

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Old 07-01-2008, 12:32 PM   #184
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I love how it took only 15 posts for an interesting discussion to turn into complete shit. And I'm still pissed no one caught my "In America" reference.
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Old 07-01-2008, 12:42 PM   #185
Pumpy Tudors
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...I'm still pissed no one caught my "In America" reference.
It's OK. You eventually get used to it. I make lots of references that nobody catches. Hell, this post has a well-disguised The Bridges of Madison County reference, and nobody will get it. Nobody. Except for me.

Maybe.
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Old 07-01-2008, 12:49 PM   #186
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Best to stick with one color when doing that double strategy in Roulette. This way your not jumping around picking a color.

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuikSand View Post
Please stop.

ok, so the movers are here emptying my house and I just cackeled out loud at this and got some very funny looks.
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Old 07-01-2008, 12:50 PM   #187
Radii
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You better sticking to something else. if you lose that many hands in a row. Blackjack might not be your game.


2 years later this still may be my single favorite post on FOFC.
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Old 07-01-2008, 12:50 PM   #188
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ok, so the movers are here emptying my house and I just cackeled out loud at this and got some very funny looks.
Uhhh, I guess now is a good time to tell you. Those aren't movers. They're my cousins.
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Old 07-01-2008, 12:54 PM   #189
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And the strategies worked!



The one with hot babes in low cut blouses?
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:03 PM   #190
digamma
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Originally Posted by QuikSand View Post
Okay, while it's admittedly more fun just to keep poking sticks at jb... here's a link that does a very nice job debunking the (very, very old and still just as flawed) Martingale betting system that he's advocating here:

hxxp://wizardofodds.com/askthewizard/bettingsystems-martingale.html

In short, while it seems like a pretty small chance that you will run out of bets to make to get back to that small win -- the chance of getting there and actually losing a lot outweighs the actual benefit of the tiny wins that you do achieve with this betting system.

You basically end up with a long series of results that look something like this:

+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
+5
-1280
(oh, fuck)


This is one of my favorite FOFC posts...OF ALL TIIIIIIMMMMMMEEEEEE.
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:03 PM   #191
cartman
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The one with hot babes in low cut blouses?

That's the Pleasure Pit at Planet Hollywood. The dealers are all hot girls wearing lingerie. I fell deeply in lust with a blond dealer. Also table minimums are 2.5X higher in the Pleasure Pit.
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:07 PM   #192
st.cronin
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I prefer the Pussycat Dolls at Caesar's Palace, but didn't find time to play there this trip. Its a nicer setup, and the girls seemed hotter.
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:12 PM   #193
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Uhhh, I guess now is a good time to tell you. Those aren't movers. They're my cousins.

, one of them offered to fix my food procesor
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:13 PM   #194
Lathum
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That's the Pleasure Pit at Planet Hollywood. The dealers are all hot girls wearing lingerie. I fell deeply in lust with a blond dealer. Also table minimums are 2.5X higher in the Pleasure Pit.

he really did. It was a little creepy the way he was leering at her.

To bad it was a $25 table so he could only afford 3 losses in a row before JB's system tapped him out.
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:28 PM   #195
albionmoonlight
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Too bad it was a $25 table so he could only afford 3 losses in a row before JB's system tapped him out.

Blackjack might not be his game.
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:31 PM   #196
albionmoonlight
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Something that I never noticed about this thread:

Until it started discussing one of the worst betting systems in the world, it actually was gaining some steam as a legitimate discussion of the math behind basic strategy. The first dozen posts or so give you no idea of the jbawesomeness to follow.
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:33 PM   #197
st.cronin
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I still don't understand the math between standing on A-9 when dealer shows 4-5-6. When I try the math on my own, I get "double" as a best bet.
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:33 PM   #198
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Just goes to show you no thread is safe
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Old 07-01-2008, 01:56 PM   #199
st.cronin
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Here's how I work it out:

Assuming A 9 held by player, dealer shows 5. There are 3 As out of 49 cards left, giving 6.12% odds for a score of 21. Here's the table:

Code:
A 3 - 21 - 6.12 2 4 - 12 - 8.16 3 4 - 13 - 8.16 4 4 - 14 - 8.16 5 3 - 15 - 6.12 6 4 - 16 - 8.16 7 4 - 17 - 8.16 8 4 - 18 - 8.16 9 3 - 19 - 6.12 10 16 - 20 - 32.65

Adding the under 17 hands, we get:

Code:
21 - 6.12 less than 17 - 38.78 17 - 8.16 18 - 8.16 19 - 6.12 20 - 32.65

Dealer will bust about 40% of the time, giving all of those scores wins. In other cases (leaving pushes out of it): 20 will beat the dealer 75%. 19 will beat the dealer 50%. 18 will beat the dealer 25%. 17 and under will lose or push 100%. So add those to the table and we get:

Code:
21 - 6.12 (6.12) less than 17 - 38.78 (15.51) 17 - 8.16 (3.26) 18 - 8.16 (3.26 + 1.25 = 4.51) 19 - 6.12 (2.45 + 1.84 = 4.29) 20 - 32.65 (13.06 + 14.69 = 27.75)

Adding up all the win expectancies I get 61.41, making this a sure double situation. Where is my error?
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Old 07-01-2008, 02:29 PM   #200
cartman
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You are assuming a single deck situation, when most of the time there are 6 to 8 decks in play. The number of decks greatly changes the odds.

Another way to look at it is you are depending on the dealer to bust when you have A-9 and then double down. There is only one card (A) that can help you improve, a bunch of cards that keep you at the same level (Faces and 10s) which can be bust cards for the dealer, and the rest lower your position.
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