Evil Dead WOODS Thread -- DO NOT ENTER (unless told to, then come on in)

[CrimsonFox]

The trees nod and act like they are listening to Danny. They go "uh huh" and "I see" and "What else?" to make Danny feel great about himself. DV, the stuck up bastard, turns away from Danny and will not listen. Well, he IS face down, but he stays that way.

[Danny]

I can use DV's head as a wilson type friend I suppose.

[Danny]

*uses his knife to cut off DV's head.

[Danny]

*Grabs a broken off piece of tree and sticks it in the neck part of DV's head and the other end in the ground

[Danny]

So Darth, what do you think we should do for food?

[Danny]

I suppose I could eat your body, that wouldn't make me an animal like those who did this to you, would it?

[Danny]

I'll take that as you not having an issue with it

[Danny]

*starts a fire and begins to cook DV's legs

[Danny]

There we are, nice and crispy, I think they are ready?

[Danny]

*rips the meat off DV's cooked legs using his teeth and eats until he is stuffed.

[Danny]

Ah, that hit the spot!

[Danny]

What are you looking at? I had no choice, I was starving!

[Danny]

You would have done the same thing! Who are you to act all superior over there

[Danny]

Sticking your nose up at me like that? That's enough!

[Danny]

I warned you!

[Danny]

*punts DV's head into a tree

[Danny]

What, what have I done! I am a monster!!!!

[Danny]

DV!!!!!

[Danny]

*runs over to DV's head, picks it up in his hands and begins to sob uncontrollably

[Danny]

*lies down, wraps his arms around DV's head and begins to stroke his hair and say "its ok my friend, we will get through this together"

[Danny]

"wow, your hair is so soft DV, what conditioner do you use?"

[Danny]

*falls asleep cuddling DV's decapitated head.

[Danny]

Man I hope no one else ever ends up in the woods.

[CrimsonFox]

*CrimsonFox falls off his chair. The guys in the Taco Van nearby go...."hey dude, our food isn't THAT bad. We're like RIGHT here*

[Danny]

Damn! You mean I could have put DV's leg meat into some tacos? What about Supreme style? Some tomatoes, and sour cream sure would have brought out the flavor of DV a little better than the dirt and leaves.

[Danny]

Nobody knows... the trouble i've seen... nobody knows..... my sorrow

[Danny]

So DV, what shall we do today?

[Danny]

That's a good idea, but we need a lot of branches and leaves for that. Good thing I have this knife.

[Danny]

I'll get to work on it right away and you keep a lookout for trouble.

[CrimsonFox]

[Danny]

*struggles to cut off some larger branches from the trees*

[Danny]

You know, you could give me a hand for a minute.

[Danny]

Oh wait... Alright, just keep on the lookout. Give me that look if you see any trouble coming.

[Danny]

Alright, now it's time for some workin' music. You be the tenor, I'll be the bass.

[Danny]

That's it, sing with me!

[Danny]

Turn the beat around
Love to hear percussion
Turn it upside down
Love to hear percussion
Love to hear it!
Love to hear it!!!
YEAH!!!!!!!!

[Danny]

Your were a little sharp, let's try it again

[Danny]

Turn the beat around
Love to hear percussion
Turn it upside down
Love to hear percussion
Love to hear it!
Love to hear it!!!
YEAH!!!!!!!!

[Danny]

Alright, still not perfect, but good enough.....

[Danny]

Alright, finished! We now have a perfectly constructed row boat. Quick, jump in and let's get out of here!

[Danny]

*sticks DV's head in the pile of branches and leaves that I am calling a row boat

[Danny]

I'll get in now too, quick grab a branch and start rowing.

[Danny]

Faster, faster! We must get out of here!

[Danny]

*rows the branch through the air while sitting on the pile of leaves and branches and obviously goes no where

[Danny]

That's it Darth, we're almost to safety!

[Danny]

Alright, we're here. *stop rowing branch through mid air and tosses it off to the side

[Danny]

I have taken us to the mystical land of elkwood. Here, no one can hurt us and after two suns and moons, we will be greeted by 8 virgins.

[Danny]

Yes, DV, I sure hope they are female too

[Danny]

Accidently clicked on the main cabin thread, didn't see anything

[Danny]

Oh and *gets word on his cell phone about Raiders loss and begins kicking tree repeatedly.