VEGAS BABY!

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by Subby

Then the jailbait showed up. Perhaps the hottest Latina the crew had ever seen just started floating around the buffet near our table. She was the perfect combination of body and face and when she moved toward the dessert bar, I took it upon myself to force an intervention! She must have known I was a Baller, Yo! because when I got close, she bent over the station, grabbed one of her back belt loops with her index finger, and gently pulled down. Quik got a picture but was shaking so badly that it's hard to appreciate just how much time one would be willing to serve for this particular nymphet. Later on in the meal she was spotted tugging down on the front of her tank top and that's when we realized that God really really loved us.

Against my better judgment...



The blurriness is just a side effect of the utter hotness of the jailbait, I can assure you. All men in range were quivering like blind puppies. Note that we did capture the idle hand tugging down the back-center belt loop. Brilliant.

On site, we declared her to be the Todd Marinovich of hotties -- believing that she was bred for this, she's been trained for this her whole life, and every pout, every brushback of the hair, every tug on the belt loop is both instinctive and by design.

[Toddzilla]

fap fap fap fap

[Vegas Vic]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

The only thing that could top this shot would be another one two or three seconds later, showing Subby crashing into another buffet patron.

[Vince]

I heart this thread.

[Draft Dodger]

nice capris, Subby.

[Samdari]

I vote we just open an entire "Jailbait Pics" forum.

[Subby]

CARGO SHORTS

[Subby]

Wednesday

BALLERZ always get a late checkout, Yo - and we're no different. We tell the front desk we'll be leaving around 1pm. Yeah, I said tell...not ask. Retirees who are getting the bingo rate ask. I briefy consider killing the maid who knocks on our door at 10:30, waking us up, but am too tired to load my glock and fall back asleep. Some time around 12:30, Mali and I get up and pack. One last time, I fold my roll of 11 Benjamins and loose twenties into my money clip, stuff it into my poker shorts and we head out.

Rick has an early evening flight, Mali leaves a few hours after that and Ferrigno and I are busting out around midnight. So we have a bit of time to pwn local cash games one more time before bidding farewell to what might be the greatest place on earth for adult males aged 21-197.

Lucky for us, special guest and ORIGINAL BALLER Vegas Vic has decided to leave his estate and meet us at the Alladin Jailbait Memorial Buffet for a quick bite to eat. Admittedly, I am a little nervous about meeting VV. The guy is the OG (original gambler) of FOFC and has been living the BALLER lifestyle for years. I mean, he used to count cards! How much more old school can you get?

When we get to the Aladdin and meet him, once again, my preconceived notions are blown away. VV is just a down-to-earth, smart, former worker bee that saw a nice opportunity in the burgeoning poker boom. In other words, my idol. We enjoyed another tremendous meal and talked about everything from his life as a professional gambler to the intricacies of FOF MP, to the disappointing lack of jailbait at the Memorial Jailbait Buffet.

Note to self: hanging out at the mexican section of the buffet in hopes of seeing some random lolita hottie is both desperate and sad.

After a solid lunch, we made our way upstairs to the Aladdin card room. They had just opened up a new 1/2 NL table and it was the perfect opportunity for all of us to sit down and play cards one last time together. Unfortunately Vic had to get back to the OG lifestyle to which he had become accustomed and didn't really have time to hang out and take milk money away from a bunch of snotnosed wannabes. So we said our farewells and started sizing up the competition.

On my right was a guy who was probably drunk already - and to my left was a friendly, mellow Canadian guy who was also there for the WSoP. Hmmm. EvilSubby made a quick decision about which player to try and stack. The friendly sober Canadian, obviously.

We each buy in for $200 and first hand in I get AA. Awesome. Going to be a great end to the trip. I raise to 15 preflp and get 3 callers. All brick flop and I start feeling jumpy and overbet the pot and chase everyone away. Then I show my hand so that everyone knows JUST WHAT THEY ARE DEALING WITH. Oh hell yes I ended that sentence with a preposition. That's just how I roll...

For the most part, the session is pretty uneventful - I bluff raise the one woman at the table with a big turn bet, but when my flush misses on the river, I weakly check and lose the pot to her trips. At one point I get KK and raise to 20 and the clever Canadian pushes all in and I figure this is where I bust him. $100 more for me to call and he turns over AJ!

Of course an Ace comes on the flop and I ship half my stack over. yeah, I hate it when people suck out.

My one other memorable hand was getting 43s UTG and raising to 15 pf and getting 4 callers. I bet out 25 on a Q high flop and everyone folds and I rake the pot and show my cards and say something stupid and ego-driven. I was slowly beginning to realize that I am more attention-whore than card player - something that has probably been, ummm...evident to others for a really REALLY long time.

Rick eventually busts out and I rebuy for him because I know that he will win big and I can take half. And right before he has to leave, he wins a big pot and I get my money back plus $40. Rick rules.

I walk with him down to valet parking, retireve his suitcase, push him in a cab and bid farewell. I can easily say he is one of the coolest guys I have ever met and I am not just saying that because he didn't donk off my two hundred dollars.

So I head back to the Aladdin card room and our game is breaking up. I rack out and we hem and haw about what to do - deciding finally to head over to the Bellagio to sneak a peak at their cardroom, the fountains, etc..

Once we got there I was struck immediately, by two things - the place is really huge and really nice. And the women are hot. Okay, that's three things - but I have to make exceptions for these women. On the east coast you rarely get this.

We head over to the packed cardroom and it is definitely nice - maybe a small step down from the Venetian room, but only because it has about 5 times as many games running and it feels cramped walking around. It is well appointed though, with high ceilings and a well-run floor. I was disappointed to see that Bobby's Room was empty, but not suprised as I knew the games had probably moved over to the Rio for the month. Sadly, we were running out of time so we didn't sit down and play. Which was fine with me - the games looked tough and I was pretty happy with how much I had gotten to play cards up to that point.

So instead, we decided to seek out some positive expected value casino games. We settled on roulette. Ballers don't buy in short to a roulette table baby, so I laid down 2 benjamins and the croupier shoved 10 stacks of 20 chips back in my direction. Quik bought in for a bit too and Mali acted as Consigliere, making sure I played the right numbers (of course the two times he forgot to remind me to play 14, it hit - so I'll probably have him whacked at some point).

This probably isn't suprising, since I am a professional roulette player, but I hit 6 different numbers during my short time at that table, including 00 twice. It was beyond money, baby. Quik even made a little extra money when the croupier incorrectly paid him for a black bet when a red number had popped up. After tips I walked away with $180 profit, bringing my roulette winnings to $300 for the trip. I am probably giving my notice at work because I will be a millionaire in just two months at this rate.

Sadly, all good stories must come to an end. We checked out the Bellagio fountains on the way out, headed to the airport, got some dinner and then lost Mali at security. I am assuing he either got home safely or his wife has assumed his on-line identity and is spending his inheritance. Either way, I had a really great time with him and found him to be one of the nicest, most considerate guys I have ever met. Even if he has been abducted or something.

With a few hours to kill and the nickel slots not looking all that money, Quik bought me a bunch of beer in hopes of me going all Subby on the flight attendants and pulling out my dong as part of an elaborate safari joke. I foiled him though and held my beer and we subsequently shutdown the airport bar and stumbled to our flight. Along the way I saw Moises Alou at a random gate with his family and happilly catalogued Professional Athlete Sighting Number Three.

We boarded the airplane and I was out and snoring before we were in the air. In coach. Like a commoner. Because the dirty little secret is this: when Ballerz leave Vegas, they turn into pumpkins, no matter how money they were during their trip.

We arrive into DC at around 6:45 am and Quik and I say our farewells at the baggage claim. I consider myself lucky to have become friends with him over this trip - he is a funny, magnanimous guy - all in spite of the whole quick temper and turning big and green and freakishly strong affliction.

I get into a cab, and before I know it, I am home. I pay my cabbie with a hundred dollar bill and he gives me that look.

You know the one.

[albionmoonlight]

Bravo, gentlemen. Bravo.

[VPI97]

Originally Posted by Subby

We enjoyed another tremendous meal and talked about everything from his life as a professional gambler to the intricacies of FOF MP, to the disappointing lack of jailbait at the Memorial Jailbait Buffet.

[Fonzie]

Wonderful read. I'm both surprised and disappointed at how much I enjoyed living vicariously through your experiences as catalogued here.

[GoldenEagle]

This thread has me saying "I am a balla, yo..." all day long.

[gkb]

Ballerz also write incredibly good threads apparently, yo. Nice job guys, hurry up and go back so we can get another trip report as entertaining as this one.

[Lathum]

When can I sign up for next years trip?

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by Subby

With a few hours to kill and the nickel slots not looking all that money, Quik bought me a bunch of beer in hopes of me going all Subby on the flight attendants and pulling out my dong as part of an elaborate safari joke.

I think we need Quik's version of The Full Subby story.

[John Galt]

Originally Posted by kcchief19

I think we need Quik's version of The Full Subby story.

Agreed.

But great job Subby. I think everyone at FOFC enjoyed your retelling.

[MIJB#19]

This thread has me convinced, I gotto get into playing poker...

[NoMyths]

Originally Posted by Subby

[i]The guy is the OG (original gambler) of FOFC and has been living the BALLER lifestyle for years. I mean, he used to count cards! How much more old school can you get?

Hell, I used to count cards too, and I'm still waiting for some of your New School respeck.

[QuikSand]

Anatomy of a Cash, Part I

Without slipping too terribly deeply into poker jargon, I thought I’d document my play in the $1K tournament a bit – and describe just how NOT thrilling it was to make it into the money. As most anyone knows, surviving a large field like this (nearly 2,900 players) requires patience, some skill, and a good deal of luck. While my luck shoed up in big helpings a couple of times, I really attribute the good finish to some good fortune in much more subtle ways, and I can describe where I got quietly lucky.

First – it’s a field of 2,200 players to start – 200 tables with 11 players each. Just gigantic. Plus, they quickly announce that they have over 600 alternates already paid, so as they clear seats they are quickly opening new tables full of alternates. It’s bedlam, really. The event starts pretty close to the announced opening time of noon, and we are underway.

My opening table is pretty typical – the usual assortment of young and old males, plus one outlier in the TV-noteworthy Tiffany Williamson (who cashed in the main event last year for $400K and got tremendous TV time on ESPN in doing so, presumably because (a) her demographic profile was such an outlier and (b) her proclivity to take a very long time to make very stupid calls was noteworthy). So, I had a pseudo-celeb at my table… I can’t be the only one who recognized her, but nobody said anything about it, and I was fine with that.

At 12:08, the fourth hand of the event, I am dealt pocket aces. I already have a flash image of me walking away after some joked with T9o rivers his straight against me, and sends me packing in nearly-last place. But that’s not to be – I make a modest raise, and win the 25 and 25 blinds with my power hand. I’m sure I’ll be seeing lots of big pairs today, so it’s nothing to worry about. Heh.

At 12:13, we have our first “all in” as a young dude (looking the part, with a slick poker emblem jacket and some stupid looking sunglasses) makes a big move to scare away another player from a completely trifling pot. He sends a two-part message: I purchased all my poker gear so I look like a poker dude, and I’m willing to push in all my chips any time, so back off. It works, he takes down the T$150 or somesuch.

At 12:14, we have our first donkey move from Tiffany, as she acts out of turn.

The table is pretty tight, and after a couple times around, I decide it will be good for my psyche if I make a low-risk total bullshit move to steal the blinds… and I do so with Q8o. If I’m going to be here a long time, I might as well have the blood flowing a little bit. I make a pretty standard raise from 25 to 100, and the blinds both fold to me. Success, without reward, is still success.

Shortly afterward, Phil Hellmuth walks in, and sits down two tables over from me. He shakes hands and makes a spectacle of himself. Standard.

After one hour, we end the 25/25 level, and my stack has grown from 1500 to … 1775. Fine.

At 1:10, a new player joins our table (I guess we busted someone, I don’t recall who or why) and sits on my immediate right. My notes say “bad breath” so the guy must have been a beauty – I stayed focused and didn’t let it bother me.

At 1:31, I have my big hand with Tiffany (detailed earlier where I’m begging her to call my reraise with AQ or KJ or something of that sort… she gives me a long staredown and question session, and calls with the same AK as I have, and we split the pot. I never thought I’d actually make a “TV read” but there it was.

We end level two, and my stack has bumped up a bit more to 2175. Shortly after that, our table is broken up and I am re-assigned seats.

As I walk toward my new station, I get a look at Rick/primelord’s table… and note to myself “damn, primelord has a lot of chips.” I believe at one update, he was among the chip leaders with 7K or so. So, he is doing well, and I don’t fell as great about my grinding up to 2500 or so.

My new table features a variety of players, and one young woman who passes (with a slight squint) for a bloated, breathy version of Anna Nicole Smith. She is prominently displaying her two best features, and it is a slight challenge for me to remain focused on the cards. I manage.

But it doesn’t last – I have been placed at a table that is nearly ready to fold, and in about 30 minutes, we’re sent packing. I might have played one hand there – but nothing too noteworthy. In about 15 minutes, I am moves yet again, this is insane.

By the way – I have accumulated some chips at this point, though nothing drastic, but I have done so almost exclusively without having a made hand at any point. I have had, I’m guessing, ace-king about five or six times already, and have made a pretty standard raise with it each time. When I have gotten callers, I have managed to win the pot with a pretty standard continuation bet on the flop (which missed me). One time I raised with AdKd and got two callers… the flop came all diamonds, and I made my best effort to “sneak a peek” at my hand to get a quick diamond check (a move that often confuses observant foes into thinking that I have at most one diamond) but I decide rather than slowplaying it, I’ll make a small bet on the flop – and both opponents folded there, too. In any event – my initial pair of aces has been joined by a pair of deuces (which I folded to a raise ahead of me) as the only two times in the first few hours that I have been dealt a wired pair.

At 3:30 I am moved to a new table, and have only one interesting hand there – a player open raises under the gun, and I look at AK in second position, and decide to reraise. Folded back to him, he thinks a while, sizes up my stack (I have him covered) and he shows TT when he mucks. This day is rapidly turning into an exercise in “how to play AK in various potentially tricky situations” as so far nearly all my interesting hands have found me with exactly that start.

At 4:00 or so, just as we are amidst a split-room bathroom break, my table breaks again, and I an re-located once again. This is getting absurd, I do work to build a table image, and have had no chance to do so at all since 2:00. At least I’m still alive, though…I have around 4,100 chips which isn’t bad, and now it looks like this table will be my home for a while, as it’s not in danger of being broken up soon. I can relax.

So, I look around my new table – and things are wrong. There are FAR too many chips here – five players have pretty big stacks, making my 4k just shrivel up. Must have just been weirdness (like a big stack or two being moved to this table after a few players gobbled up the weaklings initially) but it’s disproportionate. So, I will need to be pretty careful – half the table can stack me without risk of losing even half of their chips. Tough spot.


At 5:01, I have a huge hand, which is worth detailing, I think. I do not have a ton of chips, and the UTG player triples the blind to make it 1200 to go. The second player calls this, and after one fold it’s to me. I look down at AsQs, a pretty good hand, and one that does play pretty well against multiple hands. Calling 1200 is about a third of my chip stack, but we’re somewhere around 800-100 players left, and I am not in a situation of enough power to really sit back here. I decide to call, and hope to see some spades on this flop. We are three handed to the flop, which brings:

Kc – Tc – 4d

The action is check-check to me. I have a gutshot draw to the top straight, with only three of those jacks giving me the nuts. I have maybe 2500 chips in front of me, with nearly 4000 in the pot already – so I don’t think I have enough leverage to try to push these guys out, and with that flop, it doesn’t look like a good situation to do it. Maybe they both have underpairs, but a sneaky play seems possible too. I check.

Turn card is Jc.

Well, I made my straight, but it’s not the top hand, as the flush hits also. Action is check, then player #2 quickly goes all in. I have to think this through… would he make this move (with 2400 chips) with a made hand? He calls the opening raise for a third of his chips, and then pushes here… wouldn’t he want action if he had, say, Ac9c or even AcQc? Is my straight good here?

I call. We parse out the chips, and we are dead even with 2450 in for this round. UTG player stands up and bemoans “I have too many outs, I’m priced in here!” He ends up calling with KK, player #2 shows AdQd, and he and I have essentially the same hand. We need to dodge a boat to avoid having the slowplayed top set take us both out… and the brick on the river does so. KK is crippled, and the two AQs hands get slightly off the ropes here. Slightly tough call, but I think that was the proper read.


Anyway… after that big hand, I’m not longer in as dire straits, and I watch as Ted Forrest gets relocated into Subby’s former table. (Subby had just busted out maybe 10-15 minutes before, I think).At 5:40, we end the level and I have a stack of 4625… with blinds rising up to 300/600, this is still not a terrible comfortable position, and at my table, I am still way behind at least four other stacks.

At 6:05, primelord busts out – I don’t get the full details here, but I think he has already related the story. I will take the “last longer” prize at this point, as I feel my tournament life is in jeopardy. We make it to a 6:45 dinner break, and I have a chance to release focus for once. This event has been unusually taxing – I have played in a fair number of day-long events around home before, and have certainly played for six or seven hours straight before… but working a fairly short chip stack requires a good deal of focus, and that has been my mentality for the last couple of hours. There have been quite a lot of players I have seen in similar positions who just decide to “gamble” and make troublesome calls – with hands like ATo against an all-in reraise, and so forth. I understand the general mentality of “you need chips to win” but I am trying to stay away from obviously-dominated situations.

Dinner break is fine – I talk with primelord and Subby a bit, and I think the field is maybe down to about 600 players at this point, with money starting at #270. I’m sure I am below average in chips here, so I know that I need some good fortune to limp into the money spots. I am not thinking about the $500K+ top prize at all, which I suspect is good for the psyche. My chip stack at this point is 5425, and with the blinds about to go up to 400/800 (and with antes just getting started), I calculate my “M” to be around 3 or 4. In an ordinary situation, this places me into a desperate situation, but I do have one thing on my side.

The WSOP runs a smooth ship, generally, but they have made some mistakes here. They got more players than expected for this event, and they made a last-minute decision to give chips stacks of 1500 instead of 100 to each player. As a result of this or other things, the information available to the players on the “tournament board” (a computer screen detailing the status of the event) is simply incorrect. I don’t know what exactly happened there, but if you’re really interested in precisely where you stand, depending on the official board was unwise. Calculating this in my head wasn’t that tough – we started with about 3000 players, we’re down to around 600, so the average chip stack ought to be roughly 5X what we started with, or maybe 7500. My stack of 5425 is short, but not desperate, by comparison. If a book like Harrington on Holdem says you are in dire straits when your M gets below 5 (and it does), then that is telling fully half the people in this field that they are practically done for. I decide that I am not so desperate as to be looking to push with anything, and that I can afford to play with a little patience, at least for a while.

Mind you, this was not the result of a deep, introspective session at the dinner table. This more or less came to me as I was walking back to my table after spending most of the break ogling tool belt girls with primelord. But regardless, I decided that what was at least as important as my status relative to the blinds and antes was my status relative to other players, and that I wasn’t in as bad shape as I had initially sensed.


I’m back at the table, and probably watch an orbit or so without action, looking at runt cards the whole time. Patience is pretty easy when you’re fed a steady diet of T4o and 83s and the like.

I’m in middle position, it’s folded to me, and I look down at a KJ. This is not a premium hand. But this might be a big decision for me. I could push here, and hope to get into a showdown to double up. Or, I can try to just make a standard raise and play normally. The table, despite a few big stacks, has been tight since dinner, and I decide to open raise for roughly triple the blind – putting up maybe 1600 of my 5000 chips. If I am reraise, I might be pot committed, but perhaps not. This is a risky play with a stack this short, but if it works, the blinds and antes are enough for me to feed on for a while.

It works – the big blind stares me down a while, and mucks. I drag the pot full of green 25 chips, and get myself healthy again. And in my mind, I decide that this is the way to go from here. We’re still a ways away from the money, but I have decided that the game has tightened up enough to make this viable. Maybe the dinner break got people thinking about the money too much, or has many players feeling like they have to push or fold… but I just have the feeling this can work.

Over the next hour or two, I open raise about ten times – along the way, I see two more hands of AK, one actual monster with KK, and the rest are pretty marginal hands like QJ and KT. And most of the time, I get no action, I get to steal the blinds and antes. I win one pot after getting called when I’m holding my QJs, I miss the flop, but I win it with a continuation bet – I’m guessing the caller had a small pair and missed the flop as well, but he almost certainly mucked a better hand that I had. In any event, by the time they break up my table at 9:30 or so, I have a chip stack of 7400 chips – I haven’t made up much ground from before, but I am still alive in this thing by the good fortune of not running into any real monsters when I was open-raising some speculative hands.

There’s my subtle version of luck – I think the play was fine, but it was just dumb luck that in taking ten or twelve stabs at stealing the blinds and antes, I never one ran into anyone with a truly big hand. I only lost one of those pots in that whole time (when my caller bet out at me on the flop, and I had nothing), and was never reraised – if I stumble into someone with a bit pair or even a bit ace on any one of those hands, I could have easily been priced into putting all my chips in with a QJs or a KT…and being a serious longshot.

In any event – I have made it to the new section for this tournament, and we are getting fairly close to the money, I’m guessing we have around 450 players left at this point. At 10:10, we get a short break, and I have 9100 chips as I have again stolen the blinds and antes a couple of times with marginal hands.

I also have one more thing going for me now – since I have been living off the blinds and especially the antes, I have a pretty sizable stack of chips in front of me. Mind you, most are the fairly worthless green 25 chips, but I have maybe 5 or 6 column of them in front of me. I don’t look desperate. The fact that I have only one or two of the pink 500 chips, while others at the table have 10 or 20, is deceiving and not as easy to notice. I think I got some psychological benefit by having a pile in front of me. Who knows?

It’s break time, and we’re getting pretty close to the money, and I’m still in – and not even desperate now.

[NoSkillz]

This thread should get nominated for a Golden Scribe.

Great stuff guys!

[Vegas Vic]

Originally Posted by Subby

Lucky for us, special guest and ORIGINAL BALLER Vegas Vic has decided to leave his estate and meet us at the Alladin Jailbait Memorial Buffet for a quick bite to eat. Admittedly, I am a little nervous about meeting VV. The guy is the OG (original gambler) of FOFC and has been living the BALLER lifestyle for years.

VV's lifestyle is probably closer to the "Joey Knish" character in Rounders than it is to Subby's flattering decription.

Originally Posted by Subby

They had just opened up a new 1/2 NL table and it was the perfect opportunity for all of us to sit down and play cards one last time together. Unfortunately Vic had to get back to the OG lifestyle to which he had become accustomed and didn't really have time to hang out and take milk money away from a bunch of snotnosed wannabes.

Actually, VV has no experience playing NL, and he didn't want to go busto while donking off his money to these FOFC sharks.

[QuikSand]

Anatomy of a Cash, Part II

Okay, we’re back from our short break, and the money is within sniffing distance. How close are we? Well, there’s the rub. As I mentioned earlier, information has been a little inconsistent, and with the understandably heightened interest in “where are we?” at this point, the level of concern is higher than ever.

After we resume play a short while, word eventually gets to our table that we are at 305 players – and we all know that 270 get paid. I am feeling some pressure – but likely have enough chips to just coast to a cash position here, so I’m exactly the guy who needs to be folding my way there. At 305 players left, though, things are understandably tightening up… and after another orbit or two around the table, I may need to make a steal just to stay afloat. I suspect it may come to that, before long.

I’m under the gun, perhaps two minutes after the “305” level is announced, and I look down at my hand of the day, ace-king. Borderline hands, I think, would merit a fold here… but with presumably an hour or so before we make the money, I figure a blind/ante steal here might be enough to set me up for a coast into the cash, and I make my usual raise – at this point, I think the blinds were 400/800, and I bump it up to 2400 from first position.

A player across from me – in a similar chip situation as mine, looks me over. I’m convinced he is going to play this hand – and I am not surprised when he reraises another 4000 chips. It is back to me, and I have to decide whether this is “the hand.” The situation I had been dreading for the last three or four hours has just struck – only this time, instead of holding a marginal hand like KT or QJ, I actually have a hand with a lot of showdown value in AK. He could certainly be making this move with a hand like AQ or AJ (which I dominate) and plenty of pairs with which I am more or less even money. Since we’re not exactly right up against the money yet, I don’t think I can pinpoint him as being on a monster hand… so I consider the full range of potential hands here to be in play (though I doubt he’s make this move with AJ, I still consider AQ a possibility).

I basically have to push my chips in, or get out of the hand. I push it in. If I go out in 305th place or so, I’ll live and I’ll still have a pretty solid experience for doing so.

He calls while basically biting his lower lip, and shows KK. I am in big trouble. He, of course, was pretty sure that there was indeed a monster under this particular bed and that he was going to bust out with KK under AA, and so he shows visible relief when he realizes he is a solid favorite in the hand (since I have the ace over his king of spades, the odds of him winning this hand are about 70%, with no information about what was folded elsewhere).

The flop misses us both, but brings two spades. The turn brings a third spade now, giving me a number of outs – 8 remaining spades, plus the three remaining aces – my chances of wining are back up to nearly 30% at this point.

The river brings… an ace. I win, double up, and bust the player with KK, whom I had barely covered.

So, if you were inclined to believe that this game is all skill, that my money finish was a pure product of calculating ability and prowess, and that all this is easily repeatable – look no further. I got in **all** my money bad for the first time, and make a gigantic suckout to double my chip stack and convert a still-interesting tale of what might have been into “holy shit, I’m in the money!”

The cruel twist here is that within about a minute or two after this hand concludes, word goes out for dealers to stand up after dealing each hand. This must be the orderly way of assigning finishing positions – and I don’t mind at all, since I have enough chips to fold for a half hour and limp my way in no matter what now. But after only one round of standing dealers the announcement is suddenly made: “Congratulations, remaining players, you have all made the money!”

The table is dumbfounded. We were at 305 just a few minutes ago… how can we have lost 35 players like that? The only answer we get is that the 305 announcement was errant, and had not considered the people who had busted since the break – or something of the sort. Regardless… rewind the tape a bit, and go back to my AK under the gun. If it turns out they announce that we are literally bubbling right now at 275 players instead of 305, and I look down at this hand, I can’t fold it fast enough. If I knew we were two or three hands away from reaching the money, I’d get out immediately and take my cash. Instead, incorrectly thinking that I might need to win a hand just to survive another hour or so until we cleared 270, I figured AK was as good a hand as I was going to see to do it with. It’s a cruel twist of fate – in this specific case, cruel to Mr. 275 (or so) with KK, but things certainly could have played out very differently.


So, I doubled up and have some chips, and we’re in the money. The table goes through the obligatory congratulations, and we get on with playing. I correctly suspect that there will be a collective exhale in the game at this point, and that we’ll see things liven up. No surprise – there are probably two dozen bust-outs in the next ten minutes, I’d estimate… players who had just limped in to make the cash, and then pushed any old hand now that they needed to make it another 70 spots or so for a money upgrade. Ted Forrest is one of these players, I believe… I know he cashed, and walked past us shortly after the announcement was made.

It’s about 11pm, we have been playing (including breaks) for 11 hours, and word goes out that they are going to do about two more levels and quit for the night. We’re all in the money, and we’ll probably get down below 200 in this phase. The announced payouts (also shifty information, but I think what we gathered turned out to be correct) was that we were all guaranteed some $1500+ now, and that the next jump was around 200 players, and it went up to $2300+. In my mind, I felt like I had enough chips to keep playing reasonably, and with the pace of the bust-outs around us, I might be able to make it up another level or two by keeping my head. I am keeping thoughts of the final table and big money at bay – I realize that I can probably only get there if lightning strikes, and there’s no particular reason to think it will. So, I remain focused on a stack of eight $100 bills – the next money increment.


I don’t have any more notes from the remainder of the evening, but I know that I played basically “my game” from here – I stole the blinds and antes a few times with decent hands, kept my relative chip level about constant, and stayed in the game pretty well. We did indeed make it to the next money level, and I advanced there pretty comfortably. I had a tough moment, when I raised with ATs and watched another player with a slightly larger chip stack deliberate a long time… then fold. (He later asked me what I had been holding, and I very graciously told him I had pocket tens, and hearing this he seemed fairly relieved… I’m guessing he had a middle pair there and considered pushing it in)


One hand worth mentioning was at my table but did not involve me personally… we had a three-way all-in at around midnight, which involved a player that I had already mentioned to primelord as my “you have got to see this guy” note for the evening. The player on my immediate right had a very thick southern accent (overhearing his conversations with a friend, I divined that he hails from Tennessee) – and I don’t know if anyone else was close enough to see that he had a hearing aid. In any event, he would regularly ask the table to repeat what had been said over the loudspeakers, and I got the impression that most people had concluded that this drunken hillbilly’s version of backwoods pidgin English was such a poor match for the regular speech used locally that he was basically a fish out of water and needed special help. I assure you, he looked the part, too – a little rough shaven, and a chin that juts out just a bit more than one might expect. I wouldn’t want to use a spoken-for phrase like “slack-jawed yokel” here… but a slightly less considerate observer might do so.

In any event… Cletus raises in early position, and a later player (with a big stack) goes all-in… then a small stack calls the all-in bet, and Cletus calls as well. The revelation of the hands shows us:

Cletus: QQ
Big Stack: AQ
Small Stack: KK

As one might imagine, the case queen does indeed find its way to the table, and Cletus triples up, and busts the short-stacked player. He mutters to me “da’s the biggest suckout of mah life right there” and I suspect he’s right. I now have two considerable stacks to my immediate right, and my position has deteriorated a bit from that play.

Incidentally, part of the reason I mention this story is that you’ll likely get to see Cletus on the tee-vee come October, as he made the final table of this event. Here is his information page from Card Player, including a very true-to-life pic:

hxxp://www.cardplayer.com/players/results/Michael_Halford/3505

Honestly, I kid Cletus (or Michael, I suppose) a bit here… despite the outward appearances, he was by all rights a pretty solid player, and the string of cashes on his player page suggest that he has done this a time or two before. He definitely got very lucky on the hand I detailed, but he played well for the time I was beside him, and despite a few odd mannerisms, seemed to be a pretty nice guy. I actually rather regret describing him to my fellow ballerz as a “potential serial killer.”


And with that… there’s not much more story for the evening. I got dealt AK a couple more times – bringing the count for that particular hand to something like 12 or 14 for the day – and stole blinds and antes to keep myself in decent shape. We manage to bump up into the next payout level – that’s one more stack of eight benjamins coming my way, and I’m still feeling okay with my status. At a bit past 1 am, we conclude a round, and call it a night. It’s a fairly exciting little ordeal, to bag up your chips and so forth – and the realization starts to settle in what’s going on. The field is now down to around 150 tables, as best as we can tell, but we’ll have to survive the winnowing to 108 players to make it to the next payout level.

As I prepare to wrap up for the evening, it occurs to me to capture a tiny moment on camera. It’s not all that exciting (especially after we have chipped up all the little green chips that have long been my little fortress) but here’s my chip “stack” at the end of day one:



The public information at this point isn’t very good, but here’s what I know. I have $19,100 in chips, and the blinds are going up to $1200/2400 + A$200 when we start off tomorrow. That makes my “M” at about 3.5… I am in the danger zone, according to Harrington on Holdem, but this isn’t really anything new. The average chip stack at this point is 31,000 or so… making the average M only about 5 or 6… so there are a **lot** of players who are really feeling the pressure of the forced betting.

Later, I learn that I am standing in 90th out of 138 players (as best I recall) at this point – so I certainly do have a shot to make it up the ladder one more rung. And there are now eleven benjamins waiting for me if I can do so.

[Butter]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

I wouldn’t want to use a spoken-for phrase like “slack-jawed yokel” here… but a slightly less considerate observer might do so.

In any event… Cletus raises in early position...

Gold.

[Subby]

You are also listed in the 2+2 cashes thread.

[QuikSand]

Thanks for that, pally.

[kcchief19]

I'll post a $25 bounty for anyone who can get PokerPages or CardPlayer to post a picture of Lou Ferrigno on Quik's player page.

[QuikSand]

Anatomy of a Cash, addendum

Alas, my dependence on my impromptu notes from the event, and the inconsistency of same, caused me to leave out a pretty big hand in my telling of the tournament above.

At some point on day one (I think it was a while before the dinner break, but I'm honestly not certain now) I had to push all-in as my stack was in jeopardy of just getting blinded off. I was in early position, maybe even under the gun, with AsJs... a hand good enough to be okay in a showdown, but really not great -- quite a lot of the hands that would call a meaningful bet here are ehad of me there. I did get called, and the big stack flipped over ... TT. About as good as I could hope for, a race.

I hit an ace on the board (I don't remember the order of cards, I just recall my effort to remain my usual stoic self at the table and to not get up and jump about as many player are prone to doing) and doubled up to get off the felt. Once again, a triumph of good fortune for me, that clearly aided my eventual money result. I lose that race, and my story ends in maybe 500th place... still nice, but not quite the same story.

[QuikSand]

Anatomy of a Cash Part III

So, I have made the money, and made it to day two. I found my copy of Harrington II to curl up with, but managed to sleep pretty easily (actually my best night of sleep of the trip) after re-reading a few pages. I retain my game face, and after a solid visit to the Aladdin buffet for lunch (already scrupulously detailed earlier in this thread) we head over to the Rio for day two.

At this point, there are a number of people following my progress…both here and at various computers around the net, as Mrs. Q sent out an email missive to a circle of family and friends noting my success so far. I hadn’t really expected her to be on top of this, but she had checked cardplayer.com before we talked in the morning, so she was already more enthused than I was.

So – back to the tables. We have been relocated to the “finishing corner” for today, but my table is still intact. Cletus remains on my immediate right, and I am familiar with the players here – that’s a relief. We stand at 139 players, I believe, and the next bubble is at 108. My immediate goal is just to inch forward in the money, and if lightning strikes (probably a few times) then I can worry about what to do with my big stack of chips when I get there.

My list of hands to discuss is very short for day two – I have immediate folds with all but four hands on the entire day. It keeps me out of trouble, for the most part, but also makes it painfully obvious that this is not going to be my day to make a big move and accumulate serious capital for a push toward the final table. So it goes.


My first playable hand starts with a raise from across the table, against my big blind. He’s a pretty big stack, and a fairly aggressive player, and it’s to me for $4,000 on my big blind – I already have $1600 in the pot at this point. I look at my hand – KsQs. This hand has reasonable showdown value, but is not a favorite against all that many legitimate raising hands. Fold here? I have about $12,000 more chips beyond the $4k bet… and I decide my best play is to push them all in. I have a pretty tight table image, we’re still a while away from the 108 bubble, and either taking this hand right now or winning a showdown would almost lock up another $1100. I’m all in, for only the second time in the tournament (oddly enough).

The raiser gives a long look at me, at his cards, and eventually he mucks. Great result for me – I don’t know what he might have had, but once again I have to believe that I was at best in a race situation. (Though it is possible that this player might have raised with a hand like JTs or other similarly playable hands… I don’t think he had actual trash)

Anyway – that gives me a decent infusion of chips, and my first very serious palm sweats. I don’t know how much stake these players put in table reads – but I am certain that I had bulging veins and so forth (no Hulk jokes needed here) as I really, really did not want that call.


It doesn’t take as long as I had expected for us to approach, and pass, the next bump in money. I thought that players, following the overnight break, might tighten up a bit – but the fairly steady move toward the cash-out line continued, and we get to 108 and beyond cleanly. I’m not overlooking a series of interesting hands here as I skip through this section – I’m just not telling you about my tough decisions to lay down the various nine-high types that I was seeing all day. I am fairly certain that through 90 minutes of play, I did not see any ace, and I’m certain I didn’t see any pair. There might have been some weak kings of queens in the mix, but that’s the high end of things.

Anyway… this pretty boring situation goes on a while, and shortly before we approach the next money bubble (player #81 is the first to make the next increment) we are up to blinds of $1600/$3200. My stack is somewhere around $12,000 at this point… so I am feeling substantial pressure from the forced betting. I am in grave jeopardy of not making the next bubble at all… and right now, that additional $1100 is all that’s really on my mind.

The floor announces the “approaching bubble” procedure again, where dealers are to alert the tournament director of any all-ins, and to stand when they are done dealing each hand. Determining exactly who is #82 and who is #82 is big business at this point. The managers announce that we are to 83 players… meaning two more suckers will bust out at this level, before we go up.

Just at this moment, I am under the gun, and see the best hand I have been dealt all day: AhTh.

This is not a monster hand I understand. But I am getting short stacked – I’m probably among the handful of the very shortest stacks remaining in the entire event, I’m guessing, and I have been waiting for a hand anywhere near this good to shove in, even if just to steal the blinds and antes, which now total more than half my stack.

A few dealers are standing, an all-in is called behind me, and I am in Mike Hargrove mode – the human rain delay. I am stacking chips, I am re-looking at my cards, I am counting carefully. I really want to push this in, but I also really do not want to go out just before a bubble. I’m not 100% certain of the rules in play here – if three people go out on the “same hand” at different tables, I believe they split the prize money for #81, #82, and #83 here… so there’s a possible split decision here. But the way things are going, I can probably inch up past this bubble just by sitting out this hand and maybe my blind hands.

I fold.

Literally seconds later, the tournament director makes the announcement. “You’ve all made it to the next level.” Followed by some statement that they are double checking, but there are clearly two or three guys at the check-out station, suggesting that we’re past the bubble indeed.


So, it’s my big blind. I need real help to advance any further than this – I think the money stays level for another 30 players or so, or nearly half the field. I am surely among the shortest stacks. I am in trouble, and might have to push in with any two cards here.

Table action is unusual – no raise at all, and the small blind Cletus even folds. It’s to me, and I get a free flop if I want it. With only one person to face, I have two options here… I have basically decided that all my chips are going into this pot, period. My choices are to push them in now, and see if he’s willing to call with whatever hand caused him to limp (for the first time all day, I’m pretty sure). Or, I can see my free flop, and push my chips in – making essentially a pot-sized bet and hoping that he missed the flop and doesn’t already have a made hand (him limping with a big pocket pair is a distinct possibility here, I’m aware). I choose Plan B, and have every intention of pushing it all in no matter what boards. Incidentally, though it’s not really important, I have Q3 offsuit. Monster.

Flop misses me completely, but it isn’t bad – K42, I believe. (It was documented on Cardplayer’s coverage… I forgot the exact sequence but I think that is correct) Actually a good flop for me – I can represent a king with this bet… and I shove in my stack.

The rival debates, stares me down, announces to the table (after maybe 2 minutes) that he’s making a bold call, and calls my bet with 54s – middle pair. I do not contest this call at all – sensing the situation, he should be well aware that I’m desperate to win the pot, and very open to the “bet with nothing possibility” here. His pair of fours is good, and I now basically have three outs. None come, and I’m congratulated by the table and escorted to the management for my cash out.


And that, friends, is how I made the money in my first WSOP event, and did so basically without getting very many cards the whole time. I am pretty sure that my entire count of wired pairs was six – aces early, kings in the middle, and a handful of runt pairs (nothing better than eights) scattered, mostly in unplayable spots. (I did muck pocket sixes shortly after the first money bubble when there was a raise and an all-in ahead of me… I would have flopped my set and tripled up had I stayed in… oh, well) I got a sizable number of ace-kings sent my way, and mostly got lucky with them either pre-flop or betting after I missed the flop. There was subtle luck strewn throughout the event for me… and that, more than anything else, got me there.

I know that this hasn’t been as entertaining reading as the meal and hotel reports… but I did want to jot some of this down more systematically, in part for my own benefit. It was a great, and very tiring, experience. Nursing a small stack kept me pretty sane – I really never had to think very much about the ESPN final table or the big money, since I was always far more focused on not going out on the next hand… that probably made it a little bit more tense, but also kept me entirely positive about the finish as well.

[Barkeep49]

Well Qwik I enjoyed it and found it entertaining. Thanks for doing it.

[digamma]

Quik,

Regarding your notes, did you take them as you were sitting at the table or on breaks and in the evening, or some combination of both?

[albionmoonlight]

Thanks for the report, Quik. I enjoyed it.

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by digamma

Quik,

Regarding your notes, did you take them as you were sitting at the table or on breaks and in the evening, or some combination of both?

At the table and on breaks... subtly using my PDA/phone, despite a prohibition against use of comm devices. Mostly just shorthand notes to myself, assuming I'd remember the details later. Wasn't sure what I'd do with the notes, really, just wanted to be able to spark my own memory.

[Radii]

excellent read Quik, I'm sure the poker players here enjoyed your writeup just as much as Subby's, I know I did. Both have me craving getting in on the action next year

[Lathum]

I really enjoyed it Qwik, thanks and congrats again

[Subby]

This really was the story of the trip - not my stupid capri pants and money roulette skills.

Thanks for taking the time to document it - score one for the good guys!

[kcchief19]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

My choices are to push them in now, and see if he’s willing to call with whatever hand caused him to limp (for the first time all day, I’m pretty sure). Or, I can see my free flop, and push my chips in – making essentially a pot-sized bet and hoping that he missed the flop and doesn’t already have a made hand (him limping with a big pocket pair is a distinct possibility here, I’m aware).

Man, I can't believe you forgot option 3: push all-in in the dark and act like nutjob. I think that was a clearly overlooked option.

I also was thinking of you over the weekend when I caught a little of Tiffany Williamson going up against Sean Sheikhan during ESPN Classic's poker marathon. It's too bad you didn't get a chance to call clock on her.

[albionmoonlight]

Question for all of you: Having done this once and, seemingly, had a great time and made some scratch, do you see yourself going to the World Series every year now, or was it a "Glad that I did it once, but don't think I want to go again" kind of thing?

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

Question for all of you: Having done this once and, seemingly, had a great time and made some scratch, do you see yourself going to the World Series every year now, or was it a "Glad that I did it once, but don't think I want to go again" kind of thing?

Ride the rush. No brainer.

[Subby]

Yeah I cannot wait to go back. I get mildly depressed thinking about how I am going to have to wait a year.

[dixieflatline]

Wow that ATs hand was a tough situation. If you hadn't heard any all-ins called would you have pushed this hand? You certainly could be in trouble here but you could also be called by Ax or some other broadway cards. Still, moving from a M less than 5 to a M less than 10 probably isn't worth the potential money jump, though that was still uncertain when you made this decision.

As for the next hand with the Q3 I think you played that perfectly. In hindsight he might have folded to a preflop push but that is some seriously nice odds that he would be getting. That said I love the stop and go here because you will get A high and maybe some baby pocket pairs to incorrectly fold. There was a really good thread on 2+2 about the stop and go a while ago and it certainly seems like a very +EV play in tourneys like this.

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by dixieflatline

Wow that ATs hand was a tough situation. If you hadn't heard any all-ins called would you have pushed this hand?

I think the delay tactics was just to give myself a chance to be talked out of folding, which was my first instinct with just about any two cards at that point, given the situation.

It's tough to know what it right there -- if I double up on that hand, then I obviously can coast easily into the $5200 bubble, and with something like 30K in chips, I probably buy myself another two times around the table without any real pressure -- that's maybe 20 more hands I get to *hope* to hit a big hand and perhaps make another move to accumulate chips. I admittedly was really focused on just getting past the bubble... and $1100 isn't completely worthless... but I honestly don't know if the timid play is correct there. Perhaps the chance to double up and give myself a meaningful shot at really moving on would have been worth it.

[John Galt]

I enjoyed the recounts of the Vegas trip a lot, but it just occurred to me what was missing: mechanical horse racing. Surely, in between all the card playing, ballin', and shot-callin', there must have been time to bet on, and scream like a maniac at, little artificial jockeys.

[QuikSand]

No, sir... a shame, really.

[cartman]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

No, sir... a shame, really.

Well, you always have to forget to do something, so you have a reason to come back.

[Vegas Vic]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

More details later... but I never thought I'd have an opportunity to make a "TV read" and play against someone differently based on what I saw of them on television... but there I was (hint: the foe was Tiffany Williamson).

Quik,

It looks like she's at it again. Just in from the main event at the WSOP:

Tiffany Williamson Eliminated

Mark Shoichet raises preflop to $600 and Tiffany Williamson makes the call. The flop comes 9-4-3 and Shoichet bets $600. Williamson raises to $3,000 and Shoichet goes all-in. Williamson then asks Shoichet, "Do you have trips?" After 5 minutes, Shoichet calls the clock on Williamson. She calls and turns over 10-10. Shoichet has K-K and the board bricks out for Williamson, who is eliminated early on in the championship event.

[QuikSand]

Originally Posted by QuikSand

Geez, even I fell asleep dreaming of toolbelt girls.

Oh, speaking of which... stumbled across this sidelight:

[SirFozzie]

Hamina Hamina Hamina!!!!!

[dixieflatline]

WSoP Main Event Trip: Day 1
Things are settling down here so I am finally getting around to writing up a trip report on the vegas trip. I am adding this here because I really wanted to bump the great work done by subby and the gang in case anyone hadn't read their stuff. I am not nearly as entertaining as they are but hopefully this will be at least slightly interesting.

My wife and I get to the airport (O'Hare) on thursday, july 27 for our flight out to vegas. We step up to the booth and are immediately asked a familiar question. "Would you like to upgrade to economy plus for only $39"? Hell yeah! We are ballerz... in economy plus. I am pretty excited and I comment to my wife that other people playing in the main even probably are on the plane as well. Sure enough, just two rows in front of us is a middle aged man with a horrible hair piece telling everyone around him that he won a seat into the main event via full tilt only spending $200. Definitely not a baller.

We get in mid afternoon gather our luggage and are off to the Rio. We checked in at the airport (only in vegas I tell you) and hopped on a shuttle. There we met another WSoP player from arkansas. He is telling everyone how is his putting up $10K of his own money to play. And where might you ask is he staying? The motel 6. That is right putting up $10K to enter a poker tourney and staying at the motel 6. He had to take a shuttle to the airport to catch a shuttle to the rio so he could buy in today. Also, not baller-esqe.

Entering the Rio we are greeted by a waitress working at the bar located just inside, called iBar. She is wearing a skimpy top and a thong. Only in vegas. Anyway, we get our luggage up to the room and I head down to find out what day I am playing on. I get in line and the line is basically not moving and I am not even in the room where registration is taking place. My stomach couldn't take the wait so got some food first and went back to the room. A knock on the door and the words "room service" get me up. I ask my wife if we ordered anything and she said no. I opened the door and a waiter with a bottle of champagne. Compliments of Interpoker. Sweet. They definitely knew we were ballerz.

I headed back down to wait in line but this time they had split the registation into the people waiting to put up the $10K and the people who had pre-registered or won their seats online. This was a godsend as the line took about 10 minutes to get my starting day, day 1c, and a Harrah's gold card.

The last event of the night was the crypto (the network Interpoker is on) welcome party. All the sites pros were there so not only did I get to rub elbows with Varkonyi, Liebert, and Juha Hellpi but Kenna James as well. James had a Kill Phill shirt on that said Kill Phill on the front and on the back a list of the Phills , Ivey, Laak, Hellmuth, and Gordon with a check mark next to each of them. I asked him where he got it and he said it was homemade but he should had printed more to sell here.

Crypto put on a great buffet topped with a chocolate fountain. None of the sites CEOs were there but the crypto poker room manager attended. I asked him if the others were missing due to the recent arrest and he said yes. He added that all of them had planned to attend the conference that Bodog was going to be running there but had cancelled. So if the government had really wanted to make a splash with arrests they could have waited for that event and nabbed some really big names.

Festivities concluded and off to sleep I went dreaming of the $12 million first prize and what I would do with the money.

[gkb]

I had to search for this thread after trying to get my feeble mind around the latest puzzle postings. This is probably my favorite thread ever here. The fun really starts on page 3 when they started posting their trip reports. This thread has it all, including jailbait pics posted by Quik and his "meathook hands".

This was almost 2 years ago now, is there another trip planned for the future?

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by gkb

I had to search for this thread after trying to get my feeble mind around the latest puzzle postings. This is probably my favorite thread ever here. The fun really starts on page 3 when they started posting their trip reports. This thread has it all, including jailbait pics posted by Quik and his "meathook hands".

This was almost 2 years ago now, is there another trip planned for the future?

Well, I'm going to Vegas in July, but there won't be any pictures.