Is it Possible to Fudge a bank Statement?

[Galaxy]

Originally Posted by Rizon

My wife has probably around 200 purses. She use to work in the handbag department of a clothing store. She'd come home with a new one each night. She probably hasn't used 83% of them, but refuses to sell them on E-bay or anything.

The funny thing is she use to come home with $800 purses she got on sale for $500, and she would talk about how much money she saved. And now she can't figure out how she's $8000 in debt. Probably spent all her money or handbag porn.

You mean "you both at in $8000 of debt".

[Axxon]

In a weird twist, one of the sites that appeared off of my googling of japanese porn led me to this page.

http://www.apnic.net/mailing-lists/a.../msg00004.html

No real comment but this does seem a much better approach to evangelicizing to me and has one really weird paragraph in an otherwise well written piece.

Cyberspace can offer a "rich new store of analogies and
parables". The Internet's "intelligent agents" - software
programs that a user can send around the Internet looking for a
cheap air fare or a particular research paper - can be compared
with angels. But the report also says: "We must always be aware
of the limitations of these analogies, and not become so
enamoured of them or cyberspace itself that we set up false
understandings and false gods."

All hail Expedia.com the god of good airfare rates.

[st.cronin]

Originally Posted by Greyroofoo

I once knew a guy who said he had a girlfriend with a scat fetish which he fulfilled by taking a dump on her chest.

I never talked to him again.

Can't say you made the wrong move there.

[Axxon]

Originally Posted by st.cronin

Can't say you made the wrong move there.

But you did type it.

[Swaggs]

I wonder how many FOFCers will lose work access to the site due to this thread...

It has just about every block-worthy keyword/phrase that I can imagine.

[Vinatieri for Prez]

Haven't been able to read it all, but the answer is quite simple. You just need a good friend. Tell her that you and a friend came home drunk and the guy played a joke by using your credit card online to embarass you. If the guy has a rep for practical jokes it works no problem. Buy the guy a couple of beers (or lap dance) with CASH to thank him. The friend has to be in on it so he can admit it if and when she mentions it. You both laugh it off, like no big deal. See. Simple as that.

[cartman]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

I wonder how many FOFCers will lose work access to the site due to this thread...

It has just about every block-worthy keyword/phrase that I can imagine.

[cartman]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

I wonder how many FOFCers will lose work access to the site due to this thread...

It has just about every block-worthy keyword/phrase that I can imagine.

Dola

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

I wonder how many FOFCers will lose work access to the site due to this thread...

It has just about every block-worthy keyword/phrase that I can imagine.

Double

[sabotai]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

I wonder how many FOFCers will lose work access to the site due to this thread...

It has just about every block-worthy keyword/phrase that I can imagine.

You've got a sick mind, Swaggs....

[TargetPractice6]

Originally Posted by Swaggs

I wonder how many FOFCers will lose work access to the site due to this thread...

It has just about every block-worthy keyword/phrase that I can imagine.

That is insulting.

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by Axxon

Provide the less imaginative among us with some clues please. What handbags, where would they be, how would they be used? Let your imagination run wild.

I can't speak for Farrah, but for me...it would involve very expensive, very soft leather handbags draped all over my body and filled with nothing but high limit credit cards that I don't have to pay the bills on.

[Critch]

Originally Posted by Greyroofoo

I once knew a guy who said he had a girlfriend with a scat fetish which he fulfilled by taking a dump on her chest.

I knew a guy who's girlfriend liked to lie under their glass topped coffee table while he took a dump on it.

It was quite offputting when he told us that story while our beers were sitting on the very same glass topped coffee table.

[CraigSca]

Originally Posted by Critch

I knew a guy who's girlfriend liked to lie under their glass topped coffee table while he took a dump on it.

It was quite offputting when he told us that story while our beers were sitting on the very same glass topped coffee table.

I'd like to be a fly on the wall for the initial conversation between the boyfriend and girlfriend discussing the pros and cons of attempting this. How does this even come up?!

[JimmyWint]

It is time to put an end to all of the speculation regarding Gay porn and Poopy porn. Here is what my bank statement says as far as what I purchased:

WP-THE ASHLEY MADI POS TORONTO GB 016041

I am sure it will be pretty easy to figure out what I did...

[vtbub]

Ouch

You should have stuck to porn.

[wade moore]

ouch.

[CraigSca]

omg, how retarded are you?

[albionmoonlight]

OK--I'll confess ignorance on this. And I'm afraid to type it into google at work. What does the bank statement reveal?

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

You are a dead man.

[oliegirl]

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

It is time to put an end to all of the speculation regarding Gay porn and Poopy porn. Here is what my bank statement says as far as what I purchased:

WP-THE ASHLEY MADI POS TORONTO GB 016041

I am sure it will be pretty easy to figure out what I did...

Exactly, so just confess, let her get mad and then get over it. She isn't stupid, don't insult her intelligence by trying to lie about it.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

OK--I'll confess ignorance on this. And I'm afraid to type it into google at work. What does the bank statement reveal?

Dating site for cheating spouses - The Ashley Madison Agency.

[Arctus]

wow

Its not good when the best possible spin that comes to mind is that you were recruiting for a three way and wanted to see what was out there before approaching your wife.

Please tell me you weren't out of town when you did this.

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

Dating site for cheating spouses - The Ashley Madison Agency.

Thanks.

Good luck, Jimmy. Your problems may be beyond what a mere message board can solve.

[wade moore]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

Thanks.

Good luck, Jimmy. Your problems may be beyond what a mere message board can solve.

Yup. And way beyond a questionable credit card purchase.

[Maple Leafs]

You're fucked.

[Telle]

There's still a way to minimize the damage. You have to apologize to her for it before she sees it on the statement. And you have to start off the apology with such emotion and tears and obvious personal anguish that she's led to believe that you have actually cheated on her. Then when she finds out that you "only" signed up for a cheating dating sevice while in a drunken stuper, she'll be relieved. Be aware though that you'll probably still end up in marriage counseling.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

Dating site for cheating spouses - The Ashley Madison Agency.

It's kind of hot that you are so well versed in identifying this service.

[Anthony]

tell her you thought that was an agency for shit porn fetishes

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Originally Posted by rkmsuf

It's kind of hot that you are so well versed in identifying this service.

Well, you know "when monogamy becomes monotony"...

I just googled the credit card charge description. Not like I have the site bookmarked or anything.

[Honolulu_Blue]

Not good.

How close does your wife look at the bank statements? Lady H_B is the CFO of the family, so there's no way she'd miss such a thing. That said, I barely ever look that closely at bank statements. Like albion, I had no idea what this place was. If it showed up on my bank statement I might raise a brow, perhaps ask a question, but I would probably be fine with whatever response I got (it's a restaurant, I ordered a handbag from it, I ordered a book from it, etc, etc.).

Does she have a reason not to trust you?

[CamEdwards]

yeah, you're pretty much fucked.

[Mustang]

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

WP-THE ASHLEY MADI POS TORONTO GB 016041

I find it ironic that a website for cheating spouses would make it that easy to look up their business and the description wouldn't be a little more vague.



Oh... and you're dead.

[JimmyWint]

Originally Posted by Honolulu_Blue

Not good.

How close does your wife look at the bank statements? Lady H_B is the CFO of the family, so there's no way she'd miss such a thing. That said, I barely ever look that closely at bank statements. Like albion, I had no idea what this place was. If it showed up on my bank statement I might raise a brow, perhaps ask a question, but I would probably be fine with whatever response I got (it's a restaurant, I ordered a handbag from it, I ordered a book from it, etc, etc.).

Does she have a reason not to trust you?

She is an accountant. There is no way it will go unnoticed. I am just going to have to fess up. The only other option I have is that there is an 'Ashley Furnature' store in my town...but then another lie would just compound things if she found out.

[st.cronin]

I hope you have a valid passport.

[Farrah Whitworth-Rahn]

Arlight, what's your username? We have to see the profile.

[Telle]

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

She is an accountant. There is no way it will go unnoticed. I am just going to have to fess up. The only other option I have is that there is an 'Ashley Furnature' store in my town...but then another lie would just compound things if she found out.

You do NOT want to get caught lying about something related to cheating. Not if you want to continue to be married anyways.

[jbmagic]

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

She is an accountant. There is no way it will go unnoticed. I am just going to have to fess up. The only other option I have is that there is an 'Ashley Furnature' store in my town...but then another lie would just compound things if she found out.

What you can do is this.

Ask the bank to xxxxxxx out that transaction description out and have them reprint you a new statement. Give the bank a lame excuse. Tell the bank its a gift and you don't want your wife to know what you bought her.

[stevew]

Time to invest in a divorce attorney.

[albionmoonlight]

jbmagic actually answered the question.

I had no idea that banks could do that.

[rkmsuf]

Originally Posted by albionmoonlight

jbmagic actually answered the question.

I had no idea that banks could do that.

neither does he

[Yossarian]

you *could* recognise this as the passive-agressive 'i want out of my marriage' play that it appears to be and fess up, move on and save you both five years?

[Arctus]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

Arlight, what's your username? We have to see the profile.

But wouldn't you have to sign up to see it?

Maybe this can be JW's out. Get a friend to post an outrageous profile, and tell his wife that he heard about it and had to see it.

[cthomer5000]

Originally Posted by Yossarian

you *could* recognise this as the passive-agressive 'i want out of my marriage' play that it appears to be and fess up, move on and save you both five years?

I think this is probably the best advice in the thread.

[KevinNU7]

This thread ended badly

JimmyWint, you are an asshole. Everyone stop giving this asshole advice.

[CraigSca]

Originally Posted by JimmyWint

She is an accountant. There is no way it will go unnoticed. I am just going to have to fess up. The only other option I have is that there is an 'Ashley Furnature' store in my town...but then another lie would just compound things if she found out.

I don't get it. You're obviously not happy in the marriage if you're a) looking at this site and b) actually SIGNING UP. Good Lord.

As others have said, you're "actively" trying to screw up your marriage. Congratulations, you succeeded.

[stevew]

If the rest of the posts Jimmy made here are to be taken at face value, he's been married less than 2 years I would think. If not even less than that. Which, yeah, puts you in asshole territory. Just go get divorced and stop wasting her fucking time.

[st.cronin]

This thread will never make 10 pages now. *sigh*

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by Farrah Whitworth-Rahn

Dating site for cheating spouses - The Ashley Madison Agency.

call me naive, but how does everyone know about this place?

[Draft Dodger]

Originally Posted by stevew

If the rest of the posts Jimmy made here are to be taken at face value, he's been married less than 2 years I would think. If not even less than that. Which, yeah, puts you in asshole territory. Just go get divorced and stop wasting her fucking time.

so it's ok to cheat after 2 years? 5? 7?