03-08-2011, 12:21 AM | #3401 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Jul 2001
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Quote:
I LOL'd, nice. |
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03-08-2011, 09:06 AM | #3402 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Hog Country
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That is amazing.
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03-08-2011, 09:10 AM | #3403 |
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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DOOOOOOODY!
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
03-08-2011, 09:22 AM | #3404 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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I love (by which, of course, I mean hate) local news
"I'm Kent Brockman. On the eleven o'clock news tonight, a certain kind of soft drink has been found to be lethal. We won't tell you which one until after sports and the weather with Funny Sonny Storm." SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" |
03-08-2011, 09:33 AM | #3405 | |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Seven miles up
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Quote:
I wonder if I'll live long enough to see who won the game? hmmmm? Seriously, it's a wonder anyone can manage to stay alive. How long until the first lawyer sues Supermarkets over this dangerous health condition? Then what?
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He's just like if Snow White was competitive, horny, and capable of beating the shit out of anyone that called her Pops. Like Steam? Join the FOFC Steam group here: http://steamcommunity.com/groups/FOFConSteam |
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03-08-2011, 09:34 AM | #3406 |
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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My favorite one of those from the Simpsons was this one, complete with the lead-in graphic of Homer getting killed coming through the theater doors:
"A BLOODY END FOR HOMER SIMPSON...is just one of several possible outcomes according to our computer simulation. Now here is how it would look if the police killed him with a barrage of baseballs."
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." Last edited by Ksyrup : 03-08-2011 at 09:34 AM. |
03-08-2011, 09:37 AM | #3407 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Big Ten Country
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Amazon.com: Babe Ease Original Clean Shopper, Blue Zoo: Baby
Back in November, my mom gave me a bunch of change, since she found out my bank will take your change unrolled and give you cash for it (or deposit it, or whatever). I figured she was just giving it to me, since her bank won't do that, making the change basically worthless to her. But yesterday she sent me a text asking if I ever took that change to the bank, because she'd like it for her trip (she's going to Europe next month), and asked how much money it was. Okay, no problem. Thing is....I'm pretty sure the change totaled to $15. So she either thinks there was a lot more change than what she gave me, or she thinks $15 is the kind of cash that's going to matter when she goes to Europe. |
03-08-2011, 10:02 AM | #3408 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NYC
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Give her a twenty and let her have a good time.
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03-08-2011, 12:43 PM | #3409 |
lolzcat
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Annapolis, Md
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03-08-2011, 01:31 PM | #3410 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
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Whomever developed the GatorBite is freaking awesome. Makes ammy plumbing a helluva lot easier.
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03-08-2011, 01:41 PM | #3411 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Why does my ex wife email me still? I just don't get it.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
03-08-2011, 01:42 PM | #3412 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
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Because she's a woman and they just don't ever shut up.
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03-08-2011, 01:43 PM | #3413 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The Great Northwest
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She's doing a Jedi mind trick on you... |
03-08-2011, 01:46 PM | #3414 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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I have considered that. She never gave me the "we can still be friends" speech, so I don't think she's just saying 'hi'.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
03-08-2011, 02:07 PM | #3415 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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It is probably the 1/16 Nigerian in her blood. She can't help herself.
__________________
You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
03-08-2011, 02:16 PM | #3416 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Quote:
Damn scammers.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
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03-08-2011, 03:13 PM | #3417 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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Quote:
Dammit, they changed the picture. Now it's not funny at all. |
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03-08-2011, 03:19 PM | #3418 | |
Favored Bitch #1
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: homeless in NJ
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Quote:
She is waiting for something awesome to happen in her life, so when she emails you about it in an attempt to rub it in it doesn't seem so out of nowhere. |
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03-08-2011, 03:45 PM | #3419 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Quote:
What a bitch. Looks like I'll have to have something awesome happen for me first.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
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03-08-2011, 03:55 PM | #3420 | |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Wisconsin
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Quote:
It's just email. Make some crap up.
__________________
You, you will regret what you have done this day. I will make you regret ever being born. Your going to wish you never left your mothers womb, where it was warm and safe... and wet. i am going to show you pain you never knew existed, you are going to see a whole new spectrum of pain, like a Rainboooow. But! This rainbow is not just like any other rainbow, its... |
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03-08-2011, 04:44 PM | #3421 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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That's true. Where's Tiger Woods' ex wife when I need her?
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
03-08-2011, 05:02 PM | #3422 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Back in Houston!
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Why do the baggers here insist on putting lettuce at the bottom of the bag every time? Yes, it's soft and squishy, but when you put a cantaloupe on it, that nice head of lettuce I took some time to pick out becomes crushed. This isn't too hard to figure out...
EDIT: I try to bag my stuff as often as possible and I realize that a lot of times, it's just some guy throwing things into the bag in a random order. But for some reason, the last 5 or 6 times I've gotten lettuce, without fail, it's on the bottom with something heavier on top so there's some method to that madness. SI
__________________
Houston Hippopotami, III.3: 20th Anniversary Thread - All former HT players are encouraged to check it out! Janos: "Only America could produce an imbecile of your caliber!" Freakazoid: "That's because we make lots of things better than other people!" Last edited by sterlingice : 03-08-2011 at 05:05 PM. |
03-08-2011, 05:11 PM | #3423 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: MA
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I still remember bagging groceries my teenage years. I took that shit serious. You create a wall with cereal-like boxes then build up the center, fragile on top. It's like Tetris. I love Tetris.
You fuck that shit up you deserve a stabbing. |
03-08-2011, 05:18 PM | #3424 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Colorado Springs
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03-08-2011, 06:22 PM | #3425 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Keene, NH
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Quote:
that makes a lot more sense now
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Mile High Hockey |
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03-08-2011, 09:47 PM | #3426 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Oct 2000
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03-09-2011, 12:16 PM | #3427 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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I kind of said something similar to that during an argument. She asked why when we argue, I don't say much. I told her the less I say, the quicker you are done.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
03-09-2011, 12:29 PM | #3428 | ||
Pro Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
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Quote:
Quote:
Same, I worked at the same place starting at age 15, up through some semester breaks the first couple years of college. I still catch myself when I go through the self-scan registers planning how I am going to bag things when I finish scanning. *nerd smiley here*
__________________
"Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?" "Yeah" "Cool!!" |
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03-09-2011, 12:48 PM | #3429 |
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Working in a grocery store in high school was awesome. I worked the produce section. My best friend and I would save up all the rotten fruit, wait until the adults took off for the day, head over the bakery and get yesterday's stale french bread loaves, and play baseball in the producer cooler.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
03-09-2011, 01:22 PM | #3430 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: MA
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I graduated to ends displays after 6 months bagging. Which meant I did nothing but stock the displays at the ends of aisles..
This meant 6 hours playing nerf football in the backroom, 2 hours stocking the ends. Pinnacle of supermarket work if you ask me. Last edited by jeff061 : 03-09-2011 at 01:22 PM. |
03-09-2011, 02:17 PM | #3431 | |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
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Quote:
3 working in a grocery store stories stand out for me 1) March 1993, Pittsburgh got something like 25 inches of snow over a few days. We carried carts in one at a time, over our heads. We couldn't stack them up as normal and get them through the snow. 2) This guy always came in the store, dark hair combed back, wide dark glasses, huge belt buckle. Running joke everytime he came in the store, everyone whispering "hey it's Elvis!! haha". One time I am working late, maybe like 11p on a Sunday night, barely anyone in the store. He comes through my line, ring up his order. Take his cash, give him his change, and swear to God he says "Thank you...Thank you very much" 3) My all-time favorite- I was actually a pretty quiet kid, but still a smart ass. Similar to above, store pretty empty, walking through, this guy stops me in one of the aisles. "Hey, do you know how much these are?", hands me ant traps. I take them from him, walk down the aisle to where he picked them up thinking "Well, you could just look at the tag!". Get there, no tag. "Oh...no tag, I can run up front and look." He says "Yeah, I knew there was no tag, I though maybe you could read the barcode?" I stare at him for a second..."Yeah, maybe I could swipe it across my ass and it would light up in my eyes!" 10 minutes later I see the guy up front talking to one of the managers. Maybe he wasn't complaining about me, but I never heard anything about it. I figured the manager had to think 'Him? No way...he's too quiet'
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"Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?" "Yeah" "Cool!!" |
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03-09-2011, 02:20 PM | #3432 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
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I miss giant pickle barrels.
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03-09-2011, 02:22 PM | #3433 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Maryland
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The supermarket I go to at lunch has one. Giant pickle barrels rule.
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null |
03-09-2011, 02:24 PM | #3434 |
Grizzled Veteran
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: MA
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Oh we had the token down syndrome bagger. Which was not interesting in and of itself. However after 3 months he started sexually harassing the customers. Like literally grabbing ass and being very blunt and explicit about what he wanted to do to them. Like way WAY beyond the point where you think he'd be able to get away with it.
And they would just smile and keep walking. And he would just keep doing it. It was incredible. |
03-09-2011, 02:29 PM | #3435 | |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
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Quote:
Unfortunately, we didn't have this. We did have a guy who went by "Bud" (no idea what his real name was). He was in his mid-80's at this point, worked only 11-3, and only bagged on the express lane. Which, eventhough some orders might be 2 items, he was still behind. And when you brought carts in from outside, he'd give you a thumbs up and say "Keep on truckin'!"
__________________
"Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?" "Yeah" "Cool!!" |
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03-09-2011, 02:29 PM | #3436 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
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03-09-2011, 02:35 PM | #3437 | |
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Quote:
Was his name Donnie? http://
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
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03-09-2011, 02:39 PM | #3438 |
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
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Worst grocery store experience I had was spending approximately 16 straight hours on register as Hurricane Andrew was threatening South Florida. We're talking lines out the store, fights for food, people grabbing jars of apple juice from the bottom of the end cap and the whole thing crashing down, etc.
And then showing up the next day to help clean up the mess and get the store in some semblance of running order and getting yelled at by people irate that we didn't have any bread or milk stocked, as if Andrew was just some figment of our imagination.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete." |
03-09-2011, 02:55 PM | #3439 |
Pro Starter
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pittsburgh
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I can remember a few fist fights in the parking lots over parking spaces around Thanksgiving/Christmas. And that was women.
I do remember one time where we lost power, on a Sunday late morning/early afternoon, which was prime, after church shopping time. Huge lines. So they give us all calculators to total orders. Which, was fine for things already priced. But produce or any packaged items...we were supposed to send a bagger back with a handful of items at a time to find prices on these. Or, my method-- ask the customer if they remembered how much it was supposed to be. If they said the box of cereal was $3.49 and I was going to say $3.99, it became $3.75.
__________________
"Do you guys play fast tempos with odd time signatures?" "Yeah" "Cool!!" |
03-09-2011, 04:02 PM | #3440 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
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My dog Chachi doesn't know it, but his balls are not long for this world.
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03-09-2011, 04:06 PM | #3441 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Quote:
What's Joanie going to think when she finds out?
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
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03-09-2011, 04:27 PM | #3442 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Jul 2001
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03-09-2011, 04:42 PM | #3443 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Finally saw George Lucas here at work. Funny thing was, the guy he was walking with was tall and goofy looking and I thought to myself, "Hehe, he's with Jar Jar".
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
03-09-2011, 05:02 PM | #3444 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
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03-09-2011, 05:06 PM | #3445 | |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Quote:
Ah! Nice to see the problem worked itself out.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
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03-09-2011, 05:20 PM | #3446 |
Hall Of Famer
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: the yo'
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I played "Brick" on the way home and Jo-Jo understood that she didn't need to be afraid of the emotions that she was having.
Then the next day, she was licking at the wound and we had to take her in to be fitted for a cone of shame. |
03-09-2011, 06:23 PM | #3447 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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Damn, the cone of shame. Hopefully there is no cat around to mock her.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
03-10-2011, 12:13 AM | #3448 |
Head Coach
Join Date: Jul 2001
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Someone posted awhile back about the insanity that ensues when someone accidentally sends an e-mail to the entire company. I ran into a new variation on this... someone at an insurance company we work with accidentally sent out a report to the mailing list they use to notify ALL of their customers of outages and maintenance schedules and the like. Here's how it went:
1) the person that accidentally sent the e-mail attempted to recall it. Yeah that won't work. 2) Within an hour there were about 5-10 reply all responses that were all variations on "too late, we already saw!!!" (there was no sensitive information in the e-mail, it referenced a support ticket and was probably intended for one customer but had no defining info in it). This includes animated gifs and lolcats of the "WHAT HAZ BEEN SEEN... CANNOT BE UNSEEN" variety. 3) Over the next 3 or 4 hours I've received about 15-25 more e-mails "why did I receive this? Please remove me from this list" 4) we've now seen a few of the "stop using reply all!" angry e-mails that naturally follow Since this wasnt just company wide and probably got sent to every doctors office that deals w/ this ins. company I am hopeful that the hilarity could continue for days. The lolcats was a nice twist. |
03-10-2011, 12:19 AM | #3449 |
Favored Bitch #1
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: homeless in NJ
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It always amazes me when someone hits reply all to one of these mistakes. I would never want my name attached to that stupidity.
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03-10-2011, 11:34 AM | #3450 |
Coordinator
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
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For number 4, I would have sent a Reply All to those people who used Reply All to complain about the people using Reply All.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4 |
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