Front Office Football Central  

Go Back   Front Office Football Central > Main Forums > Off Topic
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Mark Forums Read Statistics

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 08-25-2011, 03:57 PM   #301
Oilers9911
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Penis Chopping Doc Gets Off
Oilers9911 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-29-2011, 09:34 AM   #302
DougW
High School Varsity
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Downriver, MI
Fake Boob explodes playing paintball.
DougW is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2011, 12:40 PM   #303
CraigSca
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Not Delaware - hurray!
Ouch! Elderly gardener survives after impaling eye socket on pruning shears

Doctors save Arizona man's eye after he falls face-down onto the handle



Ouch! Gardener survives after impaling eye socket - US news - Life - msnbc.com
__________________
She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
She loves you, yeah!
how do you know?
how do you know?

CraigSca is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2011, 01:09 PM   #304
duckman
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Muskogee, OK USA
http://newsok.com/430-a.m.-mowing-le...adlines_widget
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Thomas Sowell
“One of the consequences of such notions as "entitlements" is that people who have contributed nothing to society feel that society owes them something, apparently just for being nice enough to grace us with their presence.”
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alexis de Tocqueville
“Democracy and socialism have nothing in common but one word, equality. But notice the difference: while democracy seeks equality in liberty, socialism seeks equality in restraint and servitude.”
duckman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-30-2011, 08:45 PM   #305
cartman
Death Herald
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas
Cops On The Hunt For Duplicitous iPlank Scammers | The Smoking Gun

Quote:
-In a new variation on the “brick in a box” scam, a South Carolina woman who thought she purchased an iPad from two men in a McDonald’s parking lot discovered yesterday that the purported tablet was actually “a piece of wood painted black with an Apple logo.”
__________________
Thinkin' of a master plan
'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand
So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent
So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint
cartman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-2011, 11:46 AM   #306
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
Another foot with a running shoe washes up in British Columbia

Another human foot washes ashore in B.C. - Yahoo! News
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 09:44 AM   #307
Rizon
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
Quote:
Originally Posted by JediKooter View Post
Another foot with a running shoe washes up in British Columbia

Another human foot washes ashore in B.C. - Yahoo! News

Quote:
In previous cases, police said it appeared the feet separated from bodies naturally in the water and foul play wasn't suspected.

WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
It's hard to throw a good shot with a drunk blonde wrapped around me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicane75 View Post
I don't think I'd stop even if I found a dick.
Rizon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 09:46 AM   #308
Qwikshot
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: ...down the gravity well
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rizon View Post
WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

It means fishermen who drowned.
__________________
"General Woundwort's body was never found. It could be that he still lives his fierce life somewhere else, but from that day on, mother rabbits would tell their kittens that if they did not do as they were told, the General would get them. Such was Woundwort's monument, and perhaps it would not have displeased him." Watership Down, Richard Adams
Qwikshot is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 09:56 AM   #309
Rizon
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
Salish Sea human foot discoveries - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
It's hard to throw a good shot with a drunk blonde wrapped around me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicane75 View Post
I don't think I'd stop even if I found a dick.
Rizon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 11:39 AM   #310
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rizon View Post
WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

Maybe the exchange rate on commas isn't that great right now in Canada?

What I want to know, why is it only feet with running shoes? Are the joggers in BC that hard core where their feet just go flying off into the water?
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 01:20 PM   #311
JPhillips
Hall Of Famer
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Newburgh, NY
A federal judge ordered lawyers to a kindergarten party after they kept wasting his time. Here's a bit of his order:

__________________
To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers
JPhillips is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 01:24 PM   #312
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
This one is bad:

Father of Two Decapitates Himself in Yorktown, Virginia - ABC News
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 01:56 PM   #313
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
"I was just shocked. Why would people do such stuff," said Merlyn Keefer, another neighbor. "We can't ask him what really went through his head."
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 02:05 PM   #314
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
I know. I can't believe they put that in there. It's like a purposeful macabre joke or something.
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 02:14 PM   #315
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
It does make me wonder if it's intentional.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-2011, 04:58 PM   #316
Comey
College Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: CT via PA via CA via PA
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rizon View Post
WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

It means no ducks or geese are being investigated.
__________________

Comey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2011, 07:56 PM   #317
Rizon
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
Man Arrested In Ohio For Having Sex With Neighbor's Pool Raft: Police
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
It's hard to throw a good shot with a drunk blonde wrapped around me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicane75 View Post
I don't think I'd stop even if I found a dick.
Rizon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-2011, 08:15 PM   #318
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
"He's diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder and has abused his medication, she said. "

I wonder if she meant he abused his medication like he did that raft?
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2011, 02:06 AM   #319
M GO BLUE!!!
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Best story I have read in a while...

BBC News - Canadian workers ill after cannabis brownie mix-up

Canadian workers ill after cannabis brownie mix-up

Three office employees in the Canadian city of Victoria fell ill after a colleague unwittingly gave them chocolate brownies laced with cannabis.

Police were investigating a possible case of poisoning at the workplace after the three were taken to hospital feeling dizzy and disorientated.

The woman who brought in the cakes said she simply found them in her freezer.

But her son later admitted to police he had baked the cannabis cakes some time ago and forgotten about them.

Canadian media reports said police decided not to press charges because there had been no criminal intent.

But the son is expected to be ordered to take part in community work, said the Vancouver Sun.

All three affected colleagues were released from hospital after a few hours.
M GO BLUE!!! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-03-2011, 07:49 AM   #320
JPhillips
Hall Of Famer
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Newburgh, NY
Strange and outrageous.

Quote:
The mysterious case of the second lost iPhone prototype has taken another disturbing twist.

San Francisco police have admitted that "three or four" of their officers stood outside a man's house as up to two Apple investigators searched the home for the phone, finding nothing, but embroiling Apple in a potentially messy legal snafu, SF Weekly originally reported.
__________________
To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.. - Mr. Rogers
JPhillips is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2011, 03:58 PM   #321
Rizon
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
Samurai on I-65 Identified

Quote:
He was taken to Lake County Jail where he pronounced that he was "Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs" but not his identity.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
It's hard to throw a good shot with a drunk blonde wrapped around me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicane75 View Post
I don't think I'd stop even if I found a dick.
Rizon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-06-2011, 06:03 PM   #322
cartman
Death Herald
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas
Man Seriously Injured In Potato Gun Explosion - Louisville News Story - WLKY Louisville
__________________
Thinkin' of a master plan
'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand
So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent
So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint
cartman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2011, 04:29 PM   #323
Rizon
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
San Diego News | VIDEO: Gumby Attempts To Rob 7-Eleven in San Diego, Fails
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
It's hard to throw a good shot with a drunk blonde wrapped around me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicane75 View Post
I don't think I'd stop even if I found a dick.
Rizon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2011, 04:30 PM   #324
Rizon
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA

__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
It's hard to throw a good shot with a drunk blonde wrapped around me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicane75 View Post
I don't think I'd stop even if I found a dick.
Rizon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-2011, 10:20 PM   #325
Radii
Head Coach
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Quote:
Originally Posted by tyketime View Post
But Harry Baals is probably better than Schweddy Balls.

But only one is worthy of ice cream:

Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream - Schweddy Balls

Schweddy Balls: Ben & Jerry’s Newest Vermont Export - TIME NewsFeed
Radii is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2011, 09:09 AM   #326
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
Police: Arkansas meteorologist found asleep in tub next to dead man – This Just In - CNN.com Blogs
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-08-2011, 10:31 AM   #327
tyketime
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Quote:
Originally Posted by Radii View Post

I just read that article. Yummers!

Quote:
Said Ana Gasteyer, "As a person and a performer, I am a sucker for holiday balls. And I have no doubt this ice cream will cause many to scream 'Good Times.'"
tyketime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2011, 04:58 PM   #328
Rizon
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Oakland, CA
State trying to seize five high-end cars involved in Canadian street race – This Just In - CNN.com Blogs

Quote:
... among 13 owners of high-end sports cars who had their vehicles impounded last week after what Royal Canadian Mounted Police allege was a street race on a provincial highway in suburban Vancouver ...
Police fined each of the drivers, 12 men and one woman all under age 21, $196 ...

WTF
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors View Post
It's hard to throw a good shot with a drunk blonde wrapped around me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicane75 View Post
I don't think I'd stop even if I found a dick.
Rizon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-09-2011, 05:10 PM   #329
DanGarion
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: The Great Northwest

Maybe it was a slow speed race?
__________________
Los Angeles Dodgers
Check out the FOFC Groups on Facebook! and Reddit!
DON'T REPORT ME BRO!
DanGarion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-13-2011, 11:34 PM   #330
cartman
Death Herald
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Le stelle la notte sono grandi e luminose nel cuore profondo del Texas
OUCH

http://www.metro.co.uk/weird/875317-...ing-beauty-spa

Quote:
Eel removed from man's bladder after entering penis during beauty spa
An erratic eel wriggled its way up a man's penis and into his bladder following an accident during an unorthodox beauty spa in China.
__________________
Thinkin' of a master plan
'Cuz ain't nuthin' but sweat inside my hand
So I dig into my pocket, all my money is spent
So I dig deeper but still comin' up with lint
cartman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 08:59 AM   #331
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
Not surprising that the eel found a way into his urethra. Look at the size of that thing!

__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 11:40 AM   #332
M GO BLUE!!!
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Raising the bar...

BBC News - Dutch woman 'called boyfriend 65,000 times'
M GO BLUE!!! is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 11:53 AM   #333
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksyrup View Post
Not surprising that the eel found a way into his urethra. Look at the size of that thing!


He did say there was a sharp pain when it first entered.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 12:35 PM   #334
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
Just noticed that eel man's surgeon's name is Wang. Ha!
__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 03:47 PM   #335
Ksyrup
This guy has posted so much, his fingers are about to fall off.
 
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: In Absentia
Well, I thought the Palin/Rice thing was going to take the cake for WTF celeb news stories today, but...



Gordon Ramsay Dwarf Porn Star Lookalike Found Dead in Badger Den

September 14th, 2011 3:26 PM by Free Britney


Percy Foster, a dwarf porn star who was a dead ringer for Gordon Ramsay, was found dead in a badger den in the U.K. Seriously, this is a real story.


The star of X-rated movie Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It's Up Your A**e We Go (again, seriously) was discovered partially eaten "deep in an underground chamber."

UK Ministry of Agriculture experts running a planned badger-gassing program near Tregaron, Wales, happened upon the 3'6" actor, reports indicate.

__________________
M's pitcher Miguel Batista: "Now, I feel like I've had everything. I've talked pitching with Sandy Koufax, had Kenny G play for me. Maybe if I could have an interview with God, then I'd be served. I'd be complete."
Ksyrup is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 04:36 PM   #336
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
So who is going to do the porn version of the Hobbit then?
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 04:41 PM   #337
Suicane75
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
Rice eating beavers and midget eating badgers. It's a hell of a day here on earth.
Suicane75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-14-2011, 04:47 PM   #338
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
Don't forget the Scarlett pics. September 14th, 2011 has been epic.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 11:37 AM   #339
tyketime
College Benchwarmer
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Mother of the Year candidate from New York... come on down!

Mom admits stealing son's cancer benefit money
tyketime is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 11:57 AM   #340
Suicane75
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
Billy, you have cancer.
Billy, you're mom has gambling.
Suicane75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 12:14 PM   #341
JediKooter
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: San Diego via Sausalito via San Jose via San Diego
Nicolas Cage awoken by naked man with Fudgesicle - Yahoo! News

I think the title of the article speaks for itself.
__________________
I'm no longer a Chargers fan, they are dead to me

Coming this summer to a movie theater near you: The Adventures of Jedikooter: Part 4
JediKooter is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 01:26 PM   #342
Julio Riddols
College Prospect
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: Bryson Shitty, NC
A Fudgesicle is a frozen, ice cream-like snack.
__________________
Recklessly enthused, stubbornly amused.

FUCK EA
Julio Riddols is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 01:27 PM   #343
Easy Mac
Registered User
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Here
I think this is really what happened between Sarah Palin and Glen Rice.
Easy Mac is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 01:35 PM   #344
Chief Rum
Hall Of Famer
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Where Hip Hop lives
Quote:
Originally Posted by Julio Riddols View Post
A Fudgesicle is a frozen, ice cream-like snack.

Yeah, I laughed at that, too. As a former journalist, I recognize the need for that line, but it still made me laugh.
__________________
.
.

I would rather be wrong...Than live in the shadows of your song...My mind is open wide...And now I'm ready to start...You're not sure...You open the door...And step out into the dark...Now I'm ready.
Chief Rum is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 08:34 PM   #345
Galaxy
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ksyrup View Post
Well, I thought the Palin/Rice thing was going to take the cake for WTF celeb news stories today, but...



Gordon Ramsay Dwarf Porn Star Lookalike Found Dead in Badger Den

September 14th, 2011 3:26 PM by Free Britney


Percy Foster, a dwarf porn star who was a dead ringer for Gordon Ramsay, was found dead in a badger den in the U.K. Seriously, this is a real story.


The star of X-rated movie Hi-Ho Hi-Ho, It's Up Your A**e We Go (again, seriously) was discovered partially eaten "deep in an underground chamber."

UK Ministry of Agriculture experts running a planned badger-gassing program near Tregaron, Wales, happened upon the 3'6" actor, reports indicate.


Hell Atlantic must be smiling on this.
Galaxy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 08:57 PM   #346
Suicane75
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
Five 8 year olds vs 1 Badger, who you got?
Suicane75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 09:31 PM   #347
MacroGuru
Coordinator
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Utah
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suicane75 View Post
Five 8 year olds vs 1 Badger, who you got?

Depends, are the 8 year olds eating fudgesicles?
__________________
"forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future"
MacroGuru is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 09:53 PM   #348
Suicane75
Coordinator
 
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: NJ
Yes. But the badger LOVES fudgesicles.
Suicane75 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 09:55 PM   #349
MacroGuru
Coordinator
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Utah
8 year olds....there is only 1 badger, and have you seen five 8 year olds hopped up on fudgesicles? Not a pretty site!
__________________
"forgetting what is in the past, I strive for the future"
MacroGuru is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-15-2011, 11:47 PM   #350
Neon_Chaos
Pro Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Parañaque, Philippines
http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/re...qVEAI.facebook

MANILA, Philippines - Women ended armed clashes in 2 Mindanao villages by not having sex with their husbands unless the men laid down their weapons, according to the United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR).
The success of the "sex strike" allowed families to start rebuilding their communities, the UN's refugee agency said.
__________________
Come and see.
Neon_Chaos is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 3 (0 members and 3 guests)
 
Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 06:34 AM.



Powered by vBulletin Version 3.6.0
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.