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Old 05-11-2011, 09:13 AM   #4001
stevew
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Had White Castle late last night. Wow does my stomach feel fucked right now. If you could synthesize the fart I just made, we wouldn't need waterboarding
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Old 05-11-2011, 10:11 AM   #4002
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Old 05-11-2011, 10:30 AM   #4003
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The link wouldn't open for me, but there was a time if I could get into a hot chicks pants by pretending to be a navy SEAL I would have done it.

Odd....it opened for me.
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Old 05-11-2011, 10:56 AM   #4004
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Odd....it opened for me.

I'm at work
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Old 05-11-2011, 11:53 AM   #4005
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I need to get some more ambien. I took it for a couple of months and I had to have a beer or two before it would finally kick in.

Still trying figure out how I adopted one of Angelina Jolie's kids though.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:24 PM   #4006
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The hottest woman at my job is wearing the hottest outfit in the world right now. I'm about to tell her that, so it's pretty likely that I'll be out of a job in a few minutes. If they let me use my computer once more before I'm escorted from the building, I'll report back and tell you all how it went.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:26 PM   #4007
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Get pics first plz.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:30 PM   #4008
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Welp, in hindsight, I probably should not have done that. I'll try to blame it on Ambien.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:36 PM   #4009
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Cats are like rats but without souls.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:40 PM   #4010
Pumpy Tudors
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While I'm still able to post, does anyone here need a business analyst or perhaps someone with experience in purchasing coal mining equipment?
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:41 PM   #4011
JediKooter
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Coal mining equipment? Do you guys sell doves?
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:41 PM   #4012
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I could use someone with Outlook calendar appointment scheduling experience.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:45 PM   #4013
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Coal mining equipment? Do you guys sell doves?
Canaries, my man. And no.
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I could use someone with Outlook calendar appointment scheduling experience.
Yes!

By the way, I see somebody coming down the hall toward me. Not sure what's about to happen, but I feel compelled to ask if it's customary to be handcuffed during an exit interview.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:46 PM   #4014
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And I'll be sure to post pics from the woman's Facebook page. That can't possibly go wrong, huh?
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:48 PM   #4015
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Canaries, my man. And no.

Thank you for the correction. Ok, how about those hats with the candle in them?
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:50 PM   #4016
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Thank you for the correction. Ok, how about those hats with the candle in them?
Yes.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:51 PM   #4017
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Sweet!! Do you sell Peruvian miners by any chance?
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:56 PM   #4018
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Sweet!! Do you sell Peruvian miners by any chance?
Yes.

My "yes" answers are getting increasingly stranger considering that I no longer work for the coal mining company.
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Old 05-11-2011, 12:59 PM   #4019
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Yes.

My "yes" answers are getting increasingly stranger considering that I no longer work for the coal mining company.

Don't let that stop you!
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Old 05-11-2011, 01:00 PM   #4020
stevew
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Stopped working in coal, but still like to deal in the black lung.
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Old 05-11-2011, 01:48 PM   #4021
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Sweet!! Do you sell Peruvian miners by any chance?

I find this comment disgusting and unfunny. Those poor miners were trapped underground for weeks with only water, food, ipods, iphones, macbooks, and Rita Hayworth, supplies that could only be lowered through a hole.
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Old 05-11-2011, 01:53 PM   #4022
JediKooter
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I find this comment disgusting and unfunny. Those poor miners were trapped underground for weeks with only water, food, ipods, iphones, macbooks, and Rita Hayworth, supplies that could only be lowered through a hole.

Hey...wait a minute...they weren't midget miners were they?
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Old 05-11-2011, 02:57 PM   #4023
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Hey...wait a minute...they weren't midget miners were they?

Hmmm....maybe that's why DT only hears from her once a year?
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Old 05-11-2011, 02:59 PM   #4024
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And I'll be sure to post pics from the woman's Facebook page. That can't possibly go wrong, huh?

+1

hey...in fairness i'm not boxed or anything.
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Old 05-11-2011, 03:06 PM   #4025
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Hmmm....maybe that's why DT only hears from her once a year?

I think you're on to something.
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Old 05-11-2011, 03:22 PM   #4026
DanGarion
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Yeah, you would have then posted it, been chastised for it, and then had it deleted without your request....so it's a good thing your iPod was there to make sure the pic didn't come out properly.

But if you pretend you didn't take the picture no one would care, it's only is you personally took it and have a personal story about it.
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Old 05-11-2011, 03:24 PM   #4027
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The hottest woman at my job is wearing the hottest outfit in the world right now. I'm about to tell her that, so it's pretty likely that I'll be out of a job in a few minutes. If they let me use my computer once more before I'm escorted from the building, I'll report back and tell you all how it went.

Same thing with the hottest woman in my department, she's wearing the most killer sweater today. DAMN. I kept having to try real hard not to stare when she was asking me questions about a projector.
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Old 05-11-2011, 03:30 PM   #4028
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I find this comment disgusting and unfunny. Those poor miners were trapped underground for weeks with only water, food, ipods, iphones, macbooks, and Rita Hayworth, supplies that could only be lowered through a hole.

The miners were from Chile, but I guess to most of you they all look the same...
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Old 05-11-2011, 03:31 PM   #4029
M GO BLUE!!!
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The miners were from Chile, but I guess to most of you they all look the same...

In the dark, yeah.
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:15 PM   #4030
JediKooter
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The miners were from Chile, but I guess to most of you they all look the same...

Nope, I want Peruvian miners. They don't get stuck.
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:19 PM   #4031
Pumpy Tudors
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I find this comment disgusting and unfunny. Those poor miners were trapped underground for weeks with only water, food, ipods, iphones, macbooks, and Rita Hayworth, supplies that could only be lowered through a hole.
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:25 PM   #4032
Pumpy Tudors
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I think I have a stalker. She doesn't know where I live, but she knows where I bowl. She has signed up to join one of my leagues this summer. Help.
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:28 PM   #4033
Chief Rum
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I think I have a stalker. She doesn't know where I live, but she knows where I bowl. She has signed up to join one of my leagues this summer. Help.

Just go screw her. She'll go away after that.
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:32 PM   #4034
Pumpy Tudors
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Just go screw her. She'll go away after that.
That would make my wife and my penis unhappy with me. I can send her your way if you like, but then you might be unhappy with me, too.

Wait, let me show you a picture.

Never mind.
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:34 PM   #4035
JediKooter
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She has signed up to join one of my leagues this summer. Help.

What's her average?
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:34 PM   #4036
JonInMiddleGA
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Am I the only person who finds it amusing that people, given the general geekiness level here, are giving DT shit for going out with a Hobbit?
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:40 PM   #4037
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I think I have a stalker. She doesn't know where I live, but she knows where I bowl. She has signed up to join one of my leagues this summer. Help.

Is she a midget miner?
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:43 PM   #4038
DaddyTorgo
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Am I the only person who finds it amusing that people, given the general geekiness level here, are giving DT shit for going out with a Hobbit?



I'd hardly saying I'm going out with her. That makes it sound present tense. How about "giving DT shit for having gone out with a Hobbit one time?"
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:49 PM   #4039
JediKooter
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Like the old saying goes: Once you go hobbit...
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Old 05-11-2011, 04:51 PM   #4040
RomaGoth
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I'd hardly saying I'm going out with her. That makes it sound present tense. How about "giving DT shit for having gone out with a Hobbit one time?"

Has she asked for the "One Ring" yet? If so, run.....
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:00 PM   #4041
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I bet she's a helluva cook though...
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:09 PM   #4042
JediKooter
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Gives "Journey through Middle Earth" a whole new meaning.
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:17 PM   #4043
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I bet she's a helluva cook though...

mostly short order stuff...
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:27 PM   #4044
Pumpy Tudors
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What's her average?
120

Run away! Run away!!!
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:38 PM   #4045
JediKooter
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120

Run away! Run away!!!

That is a huge red flag for sure.
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:40 PM   #4046
JonInMiddleGA
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I'd hardly saying I'm going out with her. That makes it sound present tense. How about "giving DT shit for having gone out with a Hobbit one time?"

I started with the phrase "dating a Hobbit" and edited that down what you saw since it sounded less permanent. Don't be picky
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Old 05-11-2011, 05:45 PM   #4047
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I started with the phrase "dating a Hobbit" and edited that down what you saw since it sounded less permanent. Don't be picky

LOL.
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:08 PM   #4048
Chief Rum
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I started with the phrase "dating a Hobbit" and edited that down what you saw since it sounded less permanent. Don't be picky

Heh...I didn't hold back. That's more or less what I put in the FB pathetic post thread.
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:45 PM   #4049
stevew
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Roto-tilled a garden into my back yard today. Ton of work, but hopefully it will be worth it. My dad's tiller is from like 1983. Still works like a champ. No way one you'd buy today would last 20 some years.
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Old 05-11-2011, 06:51 PM   #4050
Chief Rum
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Heck, almost 30.
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