Facebook posts so pathetic they belong in this thread!!!

[terpkristin]

Originally Posted by Galaxy

Care to give me details on this?

A fair few of his posts rail on coworkers and/or friends/family, talk about how they drive him nuts, how he needs to get away, etc. If you're posting that kind of thing on FB, a) chances are, others around you are not really recommending you for bigger and better things and/or b) if anybody is looking for how you act by looking up your profile (I have no idea if employers really do this but it really wouldn't surprise me), it wouldn't be endearing.

/tk

[jeff061]

Employers absolutely do that. Small time commitment for a potential gold mine.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by terpkristin

A fair few of his posts rail on coworkers and/or friends/family, talk about how they drive him nuts, how he needs to get away, etc. If you're posting that kind of thing on FB, a) chances are, others around you are not really recommending you for bigger and better things and/or b) if anybody is looking for how you act by looking up your profile (I have no idea if employers really do this but it really wouldn't surprise me), it wouldn't be endearing.

/tk

I figured it out who it was. He sure does talk a lot about going to work. However, he could be Laurence Fishburne's stunt double if he applied himself.

[JonInMiddleGA]

There ought to be a SnopesChecker (like spellcheck) built into f'n Facebook.

No, you mindless half-wits that I knew 25 years ago, there's not a 48 y/o known pedophile named "Fill in the blank" posing as a 14 y/o to try to lure your kids.

The key word here is "known", there's surely some sick bastards using FB for indecent means but if it's notable enough to have become status spam then he'd already be long since banned.

[MJ4H]

OK FRIENDS IT'S BEEN FUN BUT I'M GONNA DELETE MY FACEBOOK WAY TO MUCH DRAMA AND PPL LIKES TO GET DRAMA STARTED ABOUT CRAP I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT BUT AND THE PPL THAT THINKS I WANT YA TO FEEL SORRY 4 ME ABOUT MY HEALTH WELL GET A LIFE B/C I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME SO IF YOUR MY REAL FRIEND THEN U HAVE MY CELL #

chances of her successfully deleting her facebook account are about 3% imo

[GoSeahawks]

Originally Posted by MJ4H

OK FRIENDS IT'S BEEN FUN BUT I'M GONNA DELETE MY FACEBOOK WAY TO MUCH DRAMA AND PPL LIKES TO GET DRAMA STARTED ABOUT CRAP I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT BUT AND THE PPL THAT THINKS I WANT YA TO FEEL SORRY 4 ME ABOUT MY HEALTH WELL GET A LIFE B/C I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME SO IF YOUR MY REAL FRIEND THEN U HAVE MY CELL #

chances of her successfully deleting her facebook account are about 3% imo

I see these stupid posts all the time.

[DaddyTorgo]

I love the run on nature of that post...particularly the "BUT AND" just seemingly randomly inserted in there in place of punctuation that really makes the whole thing make...less than zero sense.

[Suburban Rhythm]

Post from last night:

Treating myself - at Coach

Post from this morning (leaving for vacation)

Ugh! On the road and forgot [older son]'s DS!

Comments within suggesting buying a new DS and giving the younger son the old DS

A new DS isn't happening. I bought myself a new, well-deserved Coach bag last night!

But the thing that ties this all together for me....about the "treating" herself and "well-deserved". She's a stay-at-home mom.

(Not that I think staying at home is a terrible choice, and not a hard job...but suggesting you are treating yourself with your husband's $$$ made me laugh)

[larrymcg421]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

There ought to be a SnopesChecker (like spellcheck) built into f'n Facebook.

No, you mindless half-wits that I knew 25 years ago, there's not a 48 y/o known pedophile named "Fill in the blank" posing as a 14 y/o to try to lure your kids.

The key word here is "known", there's surely some sick bastards using FB for indecent means but if it's notable enough to have become status spam then he'd already be long since banned.

This reminds me of when people changed their pics to cartoon characters for child abuse awareness and then rumors started to spread that it was actually a campaign for pedophiles. A ton of people on my friends list started freaking out. I linked to the Snopes article, but one of my friends was still like, "OKay, but I think everyone should change their pics just in case."

[Lathum]

Originally Posted by Suburban Rhythm

(Not that I think staying at home is a terrible choice, and not a hard job...but suggesting you are treating yourself with your husband's $$$ made me laugh)

Probably don't want to go to far down this path but I'll just say I stayed home with my son for 8 months after I finished school and I was about as happy as could be to go back to work.

[Autumn]

And as a work at home dad, I always bristle at the idea that the stay at home parent is spending the other spouse's money. There's no way I could make any of this money if my wife wasn't watching the kids for me. God knows I'd make more if it if I wasn't working at home with them around, but I'd be making next to nothing without her. It's not my money any more than it's her kids.

[lighthousekeeper]

Originally Posted by Autumn

And as a work at home dad, I always bristle at the idea that the stay at home parent is spending the other spouse's money. There's no way I could make any of this money if my wife wasn't watching the kids for me. God knows I'd make more if it if I wasn't working at home with them around, but I'd be making next to nothing without her. It's not my money any more than it's her kids.

its apples and oranges if you're talking about a 2 year old versus a 12 year old.

[ColtCrazy]

So this is a good one. From my sister-in-law. Can you guess who the deadbeat is out of 4 siblings?

"Ok bad news...ben is still in jail setting up a pre trail date and then a trail if no plees are agreeded upon."

From all account, bf is in jail for meth. And she just tattooed his name on her somewhere. Yee-Haw

[stevew]

I dreamed that I changed Cash's name to Axel James Rose all the while "Party in the USA" was playing in the background. The stuff my brain does while I'm asleep is scaring me.

I'm not totally convinced that Axel James is much more strange than naming your child Cash. But that's maybe just me.

[terpkristin]

This thread me thinks my friends (FB and real life) are mostly normal.

/tk

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by terpkristin

This thread me thinks my friends (FB and real life) are mostly normal./tk

Normal = the average of all the abnormals

[terpkristin]

Originally Posted by JonInMiddleGA

Normal = the average of all the abnormals

I used the word "mostly."

/tk

[EagleFan]

I am amazed that I never knew how infrequently July starts on a Friday. Thought it was once every 7 years (on average) but according to these facebook posts (and emails) I keep seeing I must be really bad a math...

[JediKooter]

Leap years will get you every time.

[Radii]

If you cross the N. Korean border illegally, you get 12 yrs. hard labor. If you cross the Afghanistan border illegally, you get shot. If you cross the U.S. border illegally you get a job, a driver's license, food stamps, a place to live, health care, housing & child benefits, education, & tax free business for 7 yrs. No wonder we are a country in debt. Re-post if you agree

I know that there are legit issues w/ illegal immigration, but this is an awesome "repost if you agree" status + a fairly direct "if only we were more like afghanistan and north korea" comparison. A++

[jeff061]

I think that sums up people in America in a nutshell.

[stevew]

They left out the part about illegals getting to vote.

[JediKooter]

And taking away all of those farm laborer jobs away from teens looking for summer jobs.

[larrymcg421]

That reminds me of the slew of Facebook posts during the mosque controversy when people kept making the argument that you couldn't build a church in a Muslim country. I'll take "Reasons the USA is Better than Muslim Theocracies" for $200 Alex.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

And taking away all of those farm laborer jobs away from teens looking for summer jobs.

Teens shouldn't be working on farms during the summer. They should be masturbating during the summer. If they're working, they're doing something wrong.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by Radii

I know that there are legit issues w/ illegal immigration, but this is an awesome "repost if you agree" status + a fairly direct "if only we were more like afghanistan and north korea" comparison. A++

Many versions of that particular one I've seen also include a reference to Mexico's own illegal entry policies.

I can't recall the exact wording but it makes it more relevant (as does the usual punchline: If you cross the U.S. border illegally you get a job, a driver's license, food stamps, a place to live, health care, housing & child benefits, education, & tax free business for 7 yrs. No wonder we are a country in debt)

That said, just because NK and Afg are evil/corrupt entities doesn't mean they're immune to having the right idea about something either. Stopped clock exception & all that.

[digamma]

This girl I went to school with has started a theme of status updates called "Motherhood is..." where she will attempt to write something cute, but usually fails. It is so transparent that she is trying to come up with some collection to pitch as a book or something. Today's though took the cake...

"Motherhood is…involuntarily humming “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” at wildly inappropriate times, like during wedding toasts or foreplay."

(Her child is less than a year old, btw.)

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by digamma

"Motherhood is…involuntarily humming “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” at wildly inappropriate times, like during wedding toasts or foreplay." (Her child is less than a year old, btw.)

That's actually kind of funny.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

Teens shouldn't be working on farms during the summer. They should be masturbating during the summer. If they're working, they're doing something wrong.

There's a lot of truth in that statement.

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by digamma

"Motherhood is…involuntarily humming “Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes” at wildly inappropriate times, like during wedding toasts or foreplay."

It's not just a song, it's a checklist.




/failed foreplay in school

[Radii]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

Teens shouldn't be working on farms during the summer. They should be masturbating during the summer. If they're working, they're doing something wrong.

I worked part time as a teenager AND had a girlfriend for a good number of my teen years. I never once remember having any trouble to find the time to masturbate. I'm sure those teens will make do.

[lungs]

How come all the single women with like 6 different kids from 5 different men are constantly posting things like:

"After last night I realized something: Its time to get back to me! I'm about to set sail on an epic journey."

Which is all fine and dandy but these kinds of status updates are almost daily occurances. Three days later:

"Its like New Years with all the resolutions I have made today! "

Of course less than a week before the original one:

"It's all about me and my beautiful children, if you can't make our world a better place with your presence, MOVE AROUND!"

I mean it's almost like every day is going to be the day that things turn around.

[Noop]

"Coke + Burritos = NO"

[molson]

Originally Posted by terpkristin

This thread me thinks my friends (FB and real life) are mostly normal.

/tk

+1....My facebook feed is so boring.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by molson

+1....My facebook feed is so boring.

You should add Pumpy...

[albionmoonlight]

Originally Posted by lungs

How come all the single women with like 6 different kids from 5 different men are constantly posting things like:

"After last night I realized something: Its time to get back to me! I'm about to set sail on an epic journey."

Which is all fine and dandy but these kinds of status updates are almost daily occurances. Three days later:

"Its like New Years with all the resolutions I have made today! "

Of course less than a week before the original one:

"It's all about me and my beautiful children, if you can't make our world a better place with your presence, MOVE AROUND!"

I mean it's almost like every day is going to be the day that things turn around.

yy. I wonder if people like that actually believe that their lives ever change, or if it is more simply a public face to show the world.

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

You should add Pumpy...

Nothing like 8 million check-ins at Main Bowling Center, am I right?

[Swaggs]

Originally Posted by lungs

How come all the single women with like 6 different kids from 5 different men are constantly posting things like:

"After last night I realized something: Its time to get back to me! I'm about to set sail on an epic journey."

Which is all fine and dandy but these kinds of status updates are almost daily occurances. Three days later:

"Its like New Years with all the resolutions I have made today! "

Of course less than a week before the original one:

"It's all about me and my beautiful children, if you can't make our world a better place with your presence, MOVE AROUND!"

I mean it's almost like every day is going to be the day that things turn around.

I have one of these on my friends list, except she also always has ailments (her latest was flipping a 3-wheeler) and has a new boyfriend (or, in one case, husband) that she is cannot live without.

I'm not even sure that I remember her from high school, but her life is such a soap opera that I don't want to ditch her.

[lungs]

Originally Posted by lungs

How come all the single women with like 6 different kids from 5 different men are constantly posting things like:

"After last night I realized something: Its time to get back to me! I'm about to set sail on an epic journey."

Which is all fine and dandy but these kinds of status updates are almost daily occurances. Three days later:

"Its like New Years with all the resolutions I have made today! "

Of course less than a week before the original one:

"It's all about me and my beautiful children, if you can't make our world a better place with your presence, MOVE AROUND!"

I mean it's almost like every day is going to be the day that things turn around.

And today's update:
"On the grind..got rid of the rif raf...bigger and better things in sight!"

Funny thing is this girl wanted to fuck me in the worst way in high school.... but I fucked her better looking sister instead

[cuervo72]

Originally Posted by lungs

And today's update:
"On the grind..got rid of the rif raf...bigger and better things in sight!"

Funny thing is this girl wanted to fuck me in the worst way in high school.... but I fucked her better looking sister instead

While this is cool for you (bro), I'm having trouble seeing why that is funny. Or even ironic.

"Hey guys, I know this really crazy chick who liked me. But guess what? I banged her hot sister instead! I totally showed her amirite?! I bet she never had to deal with the hot sister angle before!"

[JeeberD]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

Nothing like 8 million check-ins at Main Bowling Center, am I right?

Dammit, I was going to post that...

[lungs]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

While this is cool for you (bro), I'm having trouble seeing why that is funny. Or even ironic.

"Hey guys, I know this really crazy chick who liked me. But guess what? I banged her hot sister instead! I totally showed her amirite?! I bet she never had to deal with the hot sister angle before!"

It got her off of my back, so that counts for something doesn't it?

Both were crazy, but the one I banged knew the concept of birth control at least.

[JediKooter]

Originally Posted by Pumpy Tudors

Nothing like 8 million check-ins at Main Bowling Center, am I right?

Actually, pretty much every time I see one of those check ins, I think of patty melts. I don't know why, but, I associate bowling alleys with patty melts and then I want to go bowling.

[JonInMiddleGA]

Originally Posted by JediKooter

I associate bowling alleys with patty melts and then I want to go bowling.

I associate patty melts with Steak N' Shake & then I want to go eat.

[heybrad]

Amanda rocked her solo! New ending was amazing! Elizabeth did great with facials. Waiting on Alyssa then awards!

Makes you wonder what the event is.

[Ksyrup]

The Groupie Grammys?

[Pumpy Tudors]

Originally Posted by cuervo72

While this is cool for you (bro), I'm having trouble seeing why that is funny. Or even ironic.

"Hey guys, I know this really crazy chick who liked me. But guess what? I banged her hot sister instead! I totally showed her amirite?! I bet she never had to deal with the hot sister angle before!"

What's funny is imagining you trying to walk around with that stick up your...

Wait, sorry, I meant to direct this reply to someone else, but I can't remember who.

[terpkristin]

People. That's all I can really say after seeing this one on a few friends' walls.

This year July has 5 Fridays 5 Saturdays and 5 Sundays. This happens once every 823 years. This is called money bags. So copy this to your status and money will arrive within 4 days. Based on Chinese philosophy of Feng Shui. Those who read and do not copy will be without money. I am copying cause I'm not taking any chances...and come on who doesn't want money!!!

And this one showed up twice on Saturday...

PLEASE put this as your status if you know someone (or are related to someone) who has been eaten by pandas. Pandas are nearly unstoppable and when hungry, also breathe fire. 71% of people won't copy this into their status because they have already been eaten by pandas, 28% are hiding in their showers with fire extinguishers awaiting the coming pandocalypse and the remaining 1% are awesome and will re-post.

/tk

[fantom1979]

Originally Posted by terpkristin

People. That's all I can really say after seeing this one on a few friends' walls.

/tk

July of 1988 had 5 Fridays, 5 Saturdays, and 5 Sundays, so the 823 years thing is bogus. Too bad, I really wanted to pass along this chain post.

[MJ4H]

It's official..signal at 12:20 it even passed on tv. Facebook will start charging this summer.if you copy this on your wall your icon will turn blue and facebook we be free for you.please pass this message if not your count will be deleted.p.s this us serious the icon turns blue.so please put this on your wal