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Old 01-31-2013, 12:05 PM   #51
DaddyTorgo
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Massachusetts
So Match.com has been an epic fail.

Nobody emails me back from there. My sister and my brother-in-law read my profile and said it looked fine to them (what do they know, who knows).

On the other hand - eharmony was apparently doing a couple months free or something (?), and I've been using that for the last month or so. Still a lot of girls not getting back to me, but two have progressed to the emailing stage, and have said they're down to meet up for coffee (which they said right before I went on vacation for a week).

1 in particular seems really easy to converse with via email.

So I'm going to set those up and we'll see - will keep you all posted.

Sister also said I should get out there in the world and volunteer (animal shelter maybe?), and/or get a dog, and do some coed rec sports in order to meet more people.

All good advice.

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Old 02-25-2013, 04:30 PM   #52
JediKooter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo View Post
So Match.com has been an epic fail.

Nobody emails me back from there. My sister and my brother-in-law read my profile and said it looked fine to them (what do they know, who knows).

On the other hand - eharmony was apparently doing a couple months free or something (?), and I've been using that for the last month or so. Still a lot of girls not getting back to me, but two have progressed to the emailing stage, and have said they're down to meet up for coffee (which they said right before I went on vacation for a week).

1 in particular seems really easy to converse with via email.

So I'm going to set those up and we'll see - will keep you all posted.

Sister also said I should get out there in the world and volunteer (animal shelter maybe?), and/or get a dog, and do some coed rec sports in order to meet more people.

All good advice.

I've found match.com to be nothing more than a money pit for me. Plus they don't deactivate long dead profiles, so you will see profiles that probably haven't been active for years in your daily matches, etc...I would filter out any profile where the last activity was 'over 3 weeks ago'.

I still get emails from match saying 'x number of women have viewed your profile'. Really? Even though I canceled that account months ago. So, if they are still viewing my canceled profile, imagine how many that you looked at or perhaps even emailed that have been inactive for months or years.
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Old 05-06-2013, 01:40 PM   #53
DaddyTorgo
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FYI - I didn't drop this dynasty at all.

I've literally had...nothing off of match.com in the year I've been a part of it. Zero responses to emails. One girl who emailed me who was alright but I actually let that one drop because...I don't know.

In the 5 months or whatever that I've had eharmony going...one first date - she was going away on vacation the next week so I sent her a text saying essentially "look forward to hearing about your vacation once you're back" and never heard anything more from her.

Had another phone call with a girl who lives out in Western MA (which is a frigging hike, but okay). That was like a good hour a couple weeks back...texted her after saying "nice conversation...blah blah" and never heard a response back from her to even that text (IIRC).

Meh.
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Old 05-06-2013, 04:04 PM   #54
Izulde
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I've tried okcupid again and currently have maybe a 2% response rate. One I actually had a convo going with, but I could tell she was just stringing me along for her own entertainment, and once I said something mundane, she wouldn't answer.

Sure enough, that's exactly what happened.
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Old 05-06-2013, 04:39 PM   #55
DaddyTorgo
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Maybe I'm not cut out for this whole...dating thing.

On the random side...there's a friend-of-a-friend from HS -- her and I didn't actually date-date, but we were dancing around dating back then (went to a couple formal dances together etc.), who recently friended me on facebook and we went out to dinner last week to catch up since we hadn't seen each other in ohh...15 years.

And now she's texting me like...a lot. I think it's more that she's living back at home with her mother out here in the suburbs and doesn't have a lot of friends though. At least I think that's what it is....I mean it's not like I led her to believe it was anything more. Not like I necessarily want it to be anything more.
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Old 05-06-2013, 04:52 PM   #56
Izulde
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I would ride that shit anyway. When there's a dearth of female activity in one's life, just the exposure and practice keeps one's skills from getting completely dulled.

Edit: I mean as in the text messaging and dinners and all that.

Not necessarily riding riding.
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Last edited by Izulde : 05-06-2013 at 04:53 PM.
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Old 05-06-2013, 05:05 PM   #57
DaddyTorgo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Izulde View Post
I would ride that shit anyway. When there's a dearth of female activity in one's life, just the exposure and practice keeps one's skills from getting completely dulled.

Edit: I mean as in the text messaging and dinners and all that.

Not necessarily riding riding.

Yeah - that's my thinking.

But skills? I don't think I have ever had any to get dulled. Like...not even a butter knife's worth of skills here.
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Old 05-06-2013, 05:11 PM   #58
BYU 14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo View Post

But skills? I don't think I have ever had any to get dulled. Like...not even a butter knife's worth of skills here.

Time to get that sharpening stone out then DT
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Old 05-06-2013, 05:48 PM   #59
Young Drachma
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Take Izulde's advice one step further and do precisely what he didn't mean to say you should do. Precisely because of circumstances. Like for seriously. He's right. The company could be a good thing, she's clearly interested in talking if nothing else and if you live alone and she lives with her mom...uh yeah.

There's no debate here at all. You should be using it as an opportunity to commiserate. Or perhaps more, if there's a chance to "watch a movie" or something. Window won't stay open forever. Strike while the iron is hot. You meet someone else, so be it. It doesn't HAVE to evolve into something else, but...seems like it's not a situation where you ought to look a gift horse in the mouth.

Last edited by Young Drachma : 05-06-2013 at 05:49 PM.
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Old 05-06-2013, 06:21 PM   #60
Izulde
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Even this gift horse?

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Old 05-06-2013, 06:39 PM   #61
Young Drachma
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Beggars can't be choosers, is what my dad always tell me about my own prospects.
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:22 PM   #62
PilotMan
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Originally Posted by Young Drachma View Post
Beggars can't be choosers, is what my dad always tell me about my own prospects.

Ouch.

Seriously, watch Crazy. Stupid. Love.

And pay very close attention to Ryan Gosling's character. It's not real, but it's a start.
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Old 05-06-2013, 10:15 PM   #63
Izulde
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Originally Posted by PilotMan View Post
Ouch.

Seriously, watch Crazy. Stupid. Love.

And pay very close attention to Ryan Gosling's character. It's not real, but it's a start.

The feminist Ryan Gosling meme makes it impossible for me to take him seriously.
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Old 05-08-2013, 01:02 AM   #64
DaddyTorgo
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Join Date: Oct 2002
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murayyyyyyyy has offered to...let's say...reboot my approach.

I'm going to take him up on it and we'll see if it's more successful. Looking forward to it!
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Old 05-08-2013, 01:46 AM   #65
britrock88
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Cocky and funny? ???
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Old 05-08-2013, 10:22 AM   #66
JAG
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo View Post
murayyyyyyyy has offered to...let's say...reboot my approach.

I'm going to take him up on it and we'll see if it's more successful. Looking forward to it!

Step 1 - Change name to DaddyyyyyTorgo

Good luck, hope the new approach helps. Cool of murra5y to help out.
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Old 05-08-2013, 12:33 PM   #67
molson
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Originally Posted by DaddyTorgo View Post

Sister also said I should get out there in the world and volunteer (animal shelter maybe?), and/or get a dog, and do some coed rec sports in order to meet more people.

Good ideas, and I think "getting out there in the world" can also just mean always being open to random connections and looking for ways to help people out. The potential of this never really occurred to me when I lived in the northeast which tends to be kind of unfriendly and introverted. But when you really open your eyes, there's a million potential connections that we all just blow by every day. And I think when you put yourself out there in the world in places and circumstances that are really "you", these emerge. Like if you had a dog and you were always at the dog park or the pet store, if you were really into music and you were always at the local venues or record stores, or if you just really like hanging out at a particular park or whatever. I'm not even saying starting up conversations out of nowhere with strangers, things just come up. And once you're even a little bold, your confidence starts to go up.
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Old 05-09-2013, 12:34 AM   #68
Galaxy
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Originally Posted by molson View Post
Good ideas, and I think "getting out there in the world" can also just mean always being open to random connections and looking for ways to help people out. The potential of this never really occurred to me when I lived in the northeast which tends to be kind of unfriendly and introverted. But when you really open your eyes, there's a million potential connections that we all just blow by every day. And I think when you put yourself out there in the world in places and circumstances that are really "you", these emerge. Like if you had a dog and you were always at the dog park or the pet store, if you were really into music and you were always at the local venues or record stores, or if you just really like hanging out at a particular park or whatever. I'm not even saying starting up conversations out of nowhere with strangers, things just come up. And once you're even a little bold, your confidence starts to go up.

Boston is a bit of a tough nut to crack socially, but these are good ideas.

Last edited by Galaxy : 05-09-2013 at 12:37 AM.
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Old 05-09-2013, 10:32 AM   #69
murrayyyyy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JAG View Post
Step 1 - Change name to DaddyyyyyTorgo

Good luck, hope the new approach helps. Cool of murra5y to help out.

Come on JAG, everyone knows ladies like length... First off It sounds like a couple of things are going wrong here.

1) You are trusting computer stats to match up people. DT has said that there is a friend of a friend but he's just not into her. I assume this means he is not her type visually. So we need to go to a site that is visual and doesn't match up based on tests or millions of questions. Let's be honest, we want to be with someone who we are attracted to. If you find someone who is visually pleasing to you and can build up a rapport.

2) Men are much more visual, women are more mental. I think we need to examine how your profile reads. Let's remember, the average woman probably gets 100 messages a day from horny men. You have to have something in your profile that sets you apart. Something that gives a hint of what she is looking for. You can't say, hey I'm lonely and want to find someone. You can do different things that set you apart.

3) Women also (usually) want a good guy. You should highlight what sets you apart. Having mad wolverine skills does not qualify. Show a sense of humor in your profile. Make fun of the system. If you like animals or have one, put it in your profile(with pictures). Highlight things you have that losers don't: A job, a car, not living on mom's couch, an education...anything. You have to be better than the 50% of guys who have all those faults listed so might as well go public with it. Also put some common things in your profile. It could be that you enjoy hiking, running, heck even Words with Friends. Just giving another "thing in common" for them to see in you before first contact.

4) On the visual side. Start with a head shot, then a full body shot. Then add anything besides a shirtless mirror pic. If you do that, you have fallen in douche bag territory. From what I hear, it happens a lot on some sites.
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Old 05-09-2013, 11:04 AM   #70
murrayyyyy
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Join Date: Jan 2002
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Also for note, some things will be discussed in private with DT. If they get some success I'll gladly go public with it but want to get some basics out of the way first.
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Old 05-09-2013, 11:04 AM   #71
DaddyTorgo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by murrayyyyy View Post
Come on JAG, everyone knows ladies like length... First off It sounds like a couple of things are going wrong here.

1) You are trusting computer stats to match up people. DT has said that there is a friend of a friend but he's just not into her. I assume this means he is not her type visually. So we need to go to a site that is visual and doesn't match up based on tests or millions of questions. Let's be honest, we want to be with someone who we are attracted to. If you find someone who is visually pleasing to you and can build up a rapport.

2) Men are much more visual, women are more mental. I think we need to examine how your profile reads. Let's remember, the average woman probably gets 100 messages a day from horny men. You have to have something in your profile that sets you apart. Something that gives a hint of what she is looking for. You can't say, hey I'm lonely and want to find someone. You can do different things that set you apart.

3) Women also (usually) want a good guy. You should highlight what sets you apart. Having mad wolverine skills does not qualify. Show a sense of humor in your profile. Make fun of the system. If you like animals or have one, put it in your profile(with pictures). Highlight things you have that losers don't: A job, a car, not living on mom's couch, an education...anything. You have to be better than the 50% of guys who have all those faults listed so might as well go public with it. Also put some common things in your profile. It could be that you enjoy hiking, running, heck even Words with Friends. Just giving another "thing in common" for them to see in you before first contact.

4) On the visual side. Start with a head shot, then a full body shot. Then add anything besides a shirtless mirror pic. If you do that, you have fallen in douche bag territory. From what I hear, it happens a lot on some sites.

I should probably post what my existing profiles are and my existing pics and then see if you guys have any thoughts on them as I rework them into a new one.
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Old 05-09-2013, 11:05 AM   #72
murrayyyyy
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Yeah, was going to suggest that. Pics aren't necessary but I think profile is a big part.
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:33 AM   #73
DaddyTorgo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by current match.com profile - titled "I know you're out there somewhere"
Yes you.

I feel like I'm finally at a point in my life where I have a lot to offer to the right person, so now to find that person.

Me:
I'm honest, funny, caring and kind-hearted. I'm a romantic, looking for my Cinderella. I'm an introvert, but I'm always trying to be more extroverted. I'll notice your new pair of heels and how well they go with your new outfit. I'm close with my family (oldest of 4), and see them regularly. Have a small group of close friends who have been in my life 20 years.

I don't know what else you'd like to know, but feel free to fire away - I'm an open-book.

You:
-Honest
-Equally at home on the couch on a Friday night watching a movie in sweats, or dressed up for a night out
-Someone who can hold their own in an intellectual conversation, but is also capable of just letting go and laughing and having a good time with simple things
-One thing that I've always said that I want to find is someone who you can just sit there in silence and be comfortable in that silence
-Oh, don't be a hypocrite. That's pretty much as important as being honest. Hypocrites drive me nuts.

I'd love to know more about you:
Are you a morning person or a night person?
If a genie appeared and told you that he could grant you three wishes, and only three (no wishing for unlimited wishes), what would they be?
What are your simplest and most extravagant pleasures?

New profile

Quote:
Originally Posted by 584 words about me

So I guess if you want my address and phone number you should message me. Just let me know if you're a stalker when you do - I can only handle two at a time. Thanks!

According to the green (and we're all conditioned to think green is good right?), I'm supposed to talk about the following topics to be successful.

1) Hobbies: I can't say that I have any real hobbies. Not very helpful here POF. I don't have an organic garden, I don't build ships-in-a-bottle, and I don't collect anything. Everybody relaxes after a long day of work by reading and watching TV, but that doesn't count I assume. I exercise 6 days a week, but I'm not sure that's a hobby - it's a necessity. I could use real hobbies, so if you come complete with one or two that's bonus points for you.

2) Goals and aspirations: I like my job - I value being successful at it. I'm a partner in a small business in the financial industry. Some might say that I work too hard and need to let it go more, but I care and I give it my all. That translates into what I'm looking for in a relationship too. I want someone who's looking to be an equal partner in a relationship that's an important part of their life. I know that other things (job, kids) will be important too, but I want to know that someone values me and is thinking about me.

3) How am I unique?: I'm a college-educated white male in my 30s. Hopefully that's not unique, but you never know on POF.
-I hold the door open for people behind me
-I broke my finger in my car door at the age of 33. That's gotta be unique!
-I return my shopping cart to the cart-return at the grocery store instead of leaving it in an empty parking spot

4) Music: I like to say that my musical evolution slowed to a crawl in the late 90s. I enjoy listening to most music, but I'm not going to hold my own in conversations about new bands the same as I would in a conversation about 90s music, or even classic 70s-80s stuff.

Some other things about me:
5) I believe that people cheat at Words With Friends. You don't even have to download a separate app to cheat anymore - they built the cheats right into the game now. I'll play with family, because if they cheat I know where they live and they know they'll never hear the end of it.

6) I didn't get a Facebook account until after my grandmother did. I don't Tweet - 140 characters can't contain all that I have to say. I've never used Instagram or Foursquare. I don't believe that everybody should know everywhere I've been. Most of the time when I do post a link on Facebook it's a way of saving it for myself so I can look at it after work.

7) Hypocrites drive me nuts.

8) I'm looking for someone who I can carry on great conversation with, but also who we're comfortable sitting in silence together.

9) TBD

That's all for now, but don't be shy - reach out and ask anything you want to know. I'm an open book.

I'm sure you have 1000 messages a day to read through, so if I interest you, drop me a line and I'll guarantee I'll get back to you.
-- it's actually 585 words, so we'll see if someone picks that up
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Old 05-10-2013, 12:59 AM   #74
DaddyTorgo
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Join Date: Oct 2002
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Borrowed a bit from murayyyy's example of his profile, but gave it my own voice.

Uploaded photos (me with animals, me with friends, me with nieces, me traveling places).

Now to view a bunch of profiles and message nobody, per murayyyy's strategy.
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Old 05-10-2013, 03:08 AM   #75
Izulde
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Yeah that first profile reads clinger/co-dependent/submissive to me.
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:35 AM   #76
DaddyTorgo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Izulde View Post
Yeah that first profile reads clinger/co-dependent/submissive to me.

Yeah - in hindsight, having worked off murayyy's and come up with this new one I can see how it reads that way. Of course if it reads that way that's because I am clingy/co-dependent naturally, so that either means a long battle by me to fight that, or that it will come out once someone meets me.
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Old 05-10-2013, 10:50 AM   #77
murrayyyyy
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I think you can see the difference in one and two. One looks like you said three things about yourself and then started to order you women at a drive thru. The only thing you didn't say was what size meal you wanted. Your newer profile gives much more info about yourself instead of how you like your menu to be. This is what messages and small talk are for.

The only one that worries me is #7. Maybe if you could find a playful way to not sound psychotic there. Did you have a relationship where someone was this way to you. Maybe put in why and use a generic her as an example but in a way that most women would read that the person who did it was a total bitch.

Now for the first 48 hours it's a waiting game. Just keep viewing and see who will take a chance and message you first. Also take note of someone you want to message by looking at their profile (and hopefully you have read some of them instead of just looking). Really look at her profile and think through your opening line. We will take the no messaging rule off but you need to have an opening line that will catch their eye. Not, hey how are you doing or something like that. Maybe something in their profile that caught your eye or something they do that is unique that interests you. Maybe even liking that same sports team. Once again, not for 48 hours.

Also let us know how many people view your profile. This is a visual first site so we may want to change up the order of pictures if you aren't getting enough views. You should get a number of hits just by women who you have viewed checking you back out in return. This should be your hit list for finding the one you message first.

And if you have Match.com still, change that profile.
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Old 05-10-2013, 02:24 PM   #78
DaddyTorgo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by murrayyyyy View Post
I think you can see the difference in one and two. One looks like you said three things about yourself and then started to order you women at a drive thru. The only thing you didn't say was what size meal you wanted. Your newer profile gives much more info about yourself instead of how you like your menu to be. This is what messages and small talk are for.

The only one that worries me is #7. Maybe if you could find a playful way to not sound psychotic there. Did you have a relationship where someone was this way to you. Maybe put in why and use a generic her as an example but in a way that most women would read that the person who did it was a total bitch.

Now for the first 48 hours it's a waiting game. Just keep viewing and see who will take a chance and message you first. Also take note of someone you want to message by looking at their profile (and hopefully you have read some of them instead of just looking). Really look at her profile and think through your opening line. We will take the no messaging rule off but you need to have an opening line that will catch their eye. Not, hey how are you doing or something like that. Maybe something in their profile that caught your eye or something they do that is unique that interests you. Maybe even liking that same sports team. Once again, not for 48 hours.

Also let us know how many people view your profile. This is a visual first site so we may want to change up the order of pictures if you aren't getting enough views. You should get a number of hits just by women who you have viewed checking you back out in return. This should be your hit list for finding the one you message first.

And if you have Match.com still, change that profile.

Yeah - I definitely see the difference now that I've looked at yours and used it as a...I dunno...a template for a new one. World of difference.

I'm really good at opening lines and finding something in the woman's profile. Definitely no problem with that. And I changed my match.com profile too.

re: #7 - does that sound psychotic? I just can't stand hypocrisy. Maybe I should just take that out altogether...as you can see I brought that over from my old profile.
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Old 05-10-2013, 02:42 PM   #79
DaddyTorgo
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Massachusetts
Looked at a bunch of girls last night and earlier today. Couldn't even tell you how many. Easily 3-4 dozen.

Looks like 7 viewed me (some that I recall viewing, some I don't remember), assuming that page would show me all who viewed me?

3 messages so far.

2 people from that "meet me" yes/no thing too.

Last edited by DaddyTorgo : 05-10-2013 at 02:43 PM.
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Old 05-10-2013, 02:58 PM   #80
sabotai
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Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: The Satellite of Love
Scratch #7. No one likes hypocrites. It's a given. Mentioning it doesn't stand you apart from the crowd and does make you sound a bit crazy.
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Old 05-10-2013, 02:59 PM   #81
murrayyyyy
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Las Vegas
Well that's a pretty good start. I'd say at least chat with the one who started a convo with you, even if you aren't interested. Programs track responses. If either of the meet me interest you try to strike up a convo with them also. The meet me thing is where people scroll thru picks saying I'd do that person or not but you got a few bites already so that is a positive.

Side note. Dont get to greedy and ask for texting right away. Use these convos to find the weeds in the field for now.
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Old 05-10-2013, 03:01 PM   #82
DaddyTorgo
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sabotai View Post
Scratch #7. No one likes hypocrites. It's a given. Mentioning it doesn't stand you apart from the crowd and does make you sound a bit crazy.

Fair nuff
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Old 05-10-2013, 03:01 PM   #83
DaddyTorgo
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Well that's a pretty good start. I'd say at least chat with the one who started a convo with you, even if you aren't interested. Programs track responses. If either of the meet me interest you try to strike up a convo with them also. The meet me thing is where people scroll thru picks saying I'd do that person or not but you got a few bites already so that is a positive.

Side note. Dont get to greedy and ask for texting right away. Use these convos to find the weeds in the field for now.

Yup. And it was 3 that messaged me (including one of the "meet me" people I think), and then one other "meet me" person who hasn't messaged me yet.

So like 4 females.

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Old 05-10-2013, 04:18 PM   #84
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Scratch #7. No one likes hypocrites. It's a given. Mentioning it doesn't stand you apart from the crowd and does make you sound a bit crazy.

Sound advice there. I think most people that read the profile will have the same views. If two people on here have both read it and said WTF, odds are it has to go.
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Old 05-10-2013, 04:23 PM   #85
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Sound advice there. I think most people that read the profile will have the same views. If two people on here have both read it and said WTF, odds are it has to go.

Fair nuff. Done.

If I end up with a hypocrite though Imma smack you guys.
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Old 05-10-2013, 04:31 PM   #86
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Yup. And it was 3 that messaged me (including one of the "meet me" people I think), and then one other "meet me" person who hasn't messaged me yet.

So like 4 females.

Then I would recommend responding to all four. These women have shown an interest in you. It's much easier to be chased than the chaser. Also with you being new you can play the "this is all new to me" card. Ask about their experiences with the site. Most women will volunteer what has gone wrong with the other guys, some might offer up info like they never message a guy first but liked your profile (probably a lie but who cares, they are showing interest in you), and some may be new just like you. Learn from what women tell you on here and don't make the same mistakes with them.

I would never mention that you were on match.com and all the frustration with it. We want to remain positive in starting out here. This is a fresh start so treat it as one.

Women want a positive guy and you showing interest in them when they got out of their shell to message you first is comforting to them. It takes balls for a woman to make that leap sometimes because they have always been chased. You have to think that most women on here delete a ton of emails without even reading them. If you think you got frustrated on Match sending out messages and getting nothing back in responses, just think how it is for a woman to try the same thing. It's ten times worse. I'm not saying you have to date everyone of them but responding is good karma and makes a more positive situation for both of you. Who knows, through conversations you might find someone you didn't like at first a little more than you think.

This also fits into your submissive lifestyle with the woman being the aggressive one here (just reading from your match profile).
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Old 05-10-2013, 04:38 PM   #87
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Fair nuff. Done.

If I end up with a hypocrite though Imma smack you guys.

Ending up with anything is better than ending up with nothing...

I had this discussion with a friend at work the other day. Everyone has faults. I compare it to a can with a dent. You have dents, they have dents. You look up and down an entire isle of dented cans and you try to find the one with the least amount of dents that you like. Maybe there is a corn can with a little less dent than the green beans can. If you expect the perfect can to be on the dented can isle, then you are foolish. No one is perfect. Not even yourself.

Life is all about settling(and settling is not a bad thing like people think it is)... Would you rather spend X amount of your life with someone you get along with 90% of the time or spend the rest of your life with no one because you can't find that 100%.
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Old 05-10-2013, 04:57 PM   #88
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Scratch #7. No one likes hypocrites. It's a given. Mentioning it doesn't stand you apart from the crowd and does make you sound a bit crazy.

I agree. Think about this way, don't you hate it when women come across as negative, demanding, or like they've been burned (according to them) in their own profiles? It goes both ways.
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:08 PM   #89
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I was going to come in and troll, but murraayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is dropping science on the whole. Carry on sir.
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:15 PM   #90
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Then I would recommend responding to all four. These women have shown an interest in you. It's much easier to be chased than the chaser. Also with you being new you can play the "this is all new to me" card. Ask about their experiences with the site. Most women will volunteer what has gone wrong with the other guys, some might offer up info like they never message a guy first but liked your profile (probably a lie but who cares, they are showing interest in you), and some may be new just like you. Learn from what women tell you on here and don't make the same mistakes with them.

I would never mention that you were on match.com and all the frustration with it. We want to remain positive in starting out here. This is a fresh start so treat it as one.

Women want a positive guy and you showing interest in them when they got out of their shell to message you first is comforting to them. It takes balls for a woman to make that leap sometimes because they have always been chased. You have to think that most women on here delete a ton of emails without even reading them. If you think you got frustrated on Match sending out messages and getting nothing back in responses, just think how it is for a woman to try the same thing. It's ten times worse. I'm not saying you have to date everyone of them but responding is good karma and makes a more positive situation for both of you. Who knows, through conversations you might find someone you didn't like at first a little more than you think.

This also fits into your submissive lifestyle with the woman being the aggressive one here (just reading from your match profile).

Yep - Imma respond to all of them.
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:17 PM   #91
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Ending up with anything is better than ending up with nothing...

I had this discussion with a friend at work the other day. Everyone has faults. I compare it to a can with a dent. You have dents, they have dents. You look up and down an entire isle of dented cans and you try to find the one with the least amount of dents that you like. Maybe there is a corn can with a little less dent than the green beans can. If you expect the perfect can to be on the dented can isle, then you are foolish. No one is perfect. Not even yourself.

Life is all about settling(and settling is not a bad thing like people think it is)... Would you rather spend X amount of your life with someone you get along with 90% of the time or spend the rest of your life with no one because you can't find that 100%.

Depends on what that 10% is. If they're judgmental or a hypocrite...no thanks .

I don't have a problem being alone - 99.5% of the time I'm totally at peace with it.
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Old 05-10-2013, 05:17 PM   #92
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I was going to come in and troll, but murraayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is dropping science on the whole. Carry on sir.

That's not nice.
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Old 05-10-2013, 06:03 PM   #93
murrayyyyy
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I was going to come in and troll, but murraayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is dropping science on the whole. Carry on sir.

For all we know my science is wrong but it does sound like the experience has been a lot more positive than match in just 24 hours. Then again, who knows. Reading the thread his sister and brother in law thought the match profile read great but everyone pointed out the same things. Sad part is he has X amount of months of people on match who may not click his profile because they read it before. I'm starting to think that profile was a big problem there with the positive feedback we see on POF.
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Old 05-10-2013, 06:39 PM   #94
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That's not nice.

Relax Sky Captain. I didn't actually mean "trolling" in the internet sense. I just offer advice. But murraayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy has you all set. Go out there and tame the internet.
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Old 05-10-2013, 08:55 PM   #95
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For all we know my science is wrong but it does sound like the experience has been a lot more positive than match in just 24 hours. Then again, who knows. Reading the thread his sister and brother in law thought the match profile read great but everyone pointed out the same things. Sad part is he has X amount of months of people on match who may not click his profile because they read it before. I'm starting to think that profile was a big problem there with the positive feedback we see on POF.

Eh - they may have totally forgotten it already - I haven't been real active on there in months.

Maybe I'll find someone on POF, or worst-case scenario, I'll just cancel my match account and start a new one.

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Old 05-10-2013, 08:55 PM   #96
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Relax Sky Captain. I didn't actually mean "trolling" in the internet sense. I just offer advice. But murraayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy has you all set. Go out there and tame the internet.
Hehe - I was just messin with ya
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:01 PM   #97
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Here's a question - so I have my "what am i looking for" set on the more serious end...but then my "longest relationship" is like...a year.

It's been a hell of a long time since I've been in a relationship, I wish I could like...not answer the question...any suggestions? I feel like maybe some women may not take me seriously as having serious potential since I don't have like a 3 year relationship under my belt or whatever...
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Old 05-10-2013, 09:52 PM   #98
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Here's a question - so I have my "what am i looking for" set on the more serious end...but then my "longest relationship" is like...a year.

It's been a hell of a long time since I've been in a relationship, I wish I could like...not answer the question...any suggestions? I feel like maybe some women may not take me seriously as having serious potential since I don't have like a 3 year relationship under my belt or whatever...

Good question... has someone asked you why already or is this your own paranoia off your own profile? I would say answer semi-truthfully. I think acceptable answers (and they may apply to you) are:

(1) I took time working on myself/my business/my schooling after a relationship ended instead of jumping into another bad one immediately. (gives you an opportunity to play things slow if needed). There is nothing wrong with not being a serial dater. There are women out there who will understand the working on myself angle. All that zen-like shit.

(2) ... I can't think of another reason. Someone else brain storm.

What is your reason? There has to be one. I like to be alone is not an acceptable answer.
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Old 05-10-2013, 10:31 PM   #99
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Good question... has someone asked you why already or is this your own paranoia off your own profile? I would say answer semi-truthfully. I think acceptable answers (and they may apply to you) are:

(1) I took time working on myself/my business/my schooling after a relationship ended instead of jumping into another bad one immediately. (gives you an opportunity to play things slow if needed). There is nothing wrong with not being a serial dater. There are women out there who will understand the working on myself angle. All that zen-like shit.

(2) ... I can't think of another reason. Someone else brain storm.

What is your reason? There has to be one. I like to be alone is not an acceptable answer.

Paranoia . Figure that's probably one big thing someone will uncover. Girl I talked with from eharmony I think got turned off by it.

My answer was then (and the truth) is basically yeah...that I haven't been in a relationship in the last 6+ years because I've been working on the business, working on improving myself.
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Old 05-10-2013, 10:32 PM   #100
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2) Men are much more visual, women are more mental. I think we need to examine how your profile reads. Let's remember, the average woman probably gets 100 messages a day from horny men. You have to have something in your profile that sets you apart. Something that gives a hint of what she is looking for. You can't say, hey I'm lonely and want to find someone. You can do different things that set you apart.

3) Women also (usually) want a good guy. You should highlight what sets you apart. Having mad wolverine skills does not qualify. Show a sense of humor in your profile. Make fun of the system. If you like animals or have one, put it in your profile(with pictures). Highlight things you have that losers don't: A job, a car, not living on mom's couch, an education...anything. You have to be better than the 50% of guys who have all those faults listed so might as well go public with it. Also put some common things in your profile. It could be that you enjoy hiking, running, heck even Words with Friends. Just giving another "thing in common" for them to see in you before first contact.

4) On the visual side. Start with a head shot, then a full body shot. Then add anything besides a shirtless mirror pic. If you do that, you have fallen in douche bag territory. From what I hear, it happens a lot on some sites.

If you do this you will beat 90% of the guys online. It's amazing how poor, dull, and quite frankly, kind of douchey, the profiles men post are- regardless of how educated (lawyers, MBAs, M.D.s) and professional successfully they are.

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